Chapter 17

It wasn't long until there was a bang against the door and a loud curse, followed by a series of heavy handed knocks. Red X let out a laugh at the image in his head of Robin running into the door and Raven sighed in relief at the sound of that laughter, letting out a laugh of her own.

She waved her hand and a crackling shadow passed over the door and it opened with a whoosh. Robin swept into the room and moved straight to Raven's bedside. Cyborg was right behind him and used an arm to move his leader to the side as he looked Raven over. He asked a series of questions that Raven dutifully answered and then he checked her vitals on the nearby monitors. Robin's face, even with his eyes shielded by his mask, showed obvious relief at seeing her awake and sitting up as he waited for Cyborg to finish his questions. The only acknowledgment he gave to Red X sitting on the bed on the other side of Raven was a curt nod, clearly irritated that he hadn't called as soon as she awoke, like he was instructed.

Robin cupped Raven's face in his hand, searching her face and then looking her over as if he would find proof that she was still unwell. She smiled and rolled her eyes at his fussing which did more to assuage his fears than anything else could have.

"God, you scared me," he said softly as he looked into her eyes, finally allowing himself to breathe.

"I know," she whispered, softly. She laid a hand over Robin's on her face, at the same time reaching back with her other hand and threading her fingers through Red X's and giving his a squeeze. "I let my guard down. I won't be caught like that again."

"Raven," Robin started, his voice ever that stern team leader in tone, "you have no reason to apologize. We should have taken this thing more seriously when it happened. This is on all of us." He gave the briefest of glances to Red X and it did not go unnoticed. The anti-hero tried to slip his hand from Raven's but she held tight, squeezing hard enough that he knew she wasn't going to let go without causing a scene. Her grip didn't loosen until he started to rub the back of her hand reassuringly with his thumb, indicating his yielding to her.

"Perhaps the situation is more serious than we had anticipated," she acknowledged, "and there's more we could have done to prepare for such a situation. But I also know that I should have been more careful out there. That part is on me. But it won't happen again. It's over now and we know where to look for answers. And who to be wary of."

Robin nodded, accepting her words, though she could still feel the worry and his disagreement with her self-blame through their bond. And there was something else that she felt there, too. As he pulled his hand away from her face she could feel the pain in his knuckles, fingers, and thrumming up his arm. She snatched his wrist before he could get far and gave him a look.

"You're hurt," she stated, a stern tone taking over her voice. "Let me help."

He pulled his hand away from her grip and Red X reached out to stay her arm before she could reach for Robin's again.

"He's fine, Little Bird," Red X soothed. "Just a little roughed up from our investigation is all. And you," he laid a finger on her chin and gently turned her face to his, "aren't in a position to be fussing over anyone right now."

He gave a glance to Robin over Raven's shoulder and the Titan nodded in thanks, though begrudgingly. It seemed the thief hadn't told Raven about what had happened. Or, even more admirably and equally annoyingly, he had told the story but had left out that Robin had lost control. That possible consideration particularly irked him.

"He's right, Raven," Robin added. "The only healing you have to worry about right now is yours. I'll be fine. It's nothing."

Raven kept her eyes on Red X and didn't need to see under his mask to know that he was still worried about her. So she nodded and sighed, resting her forehead against his and closing her eyes.

"But you let me know if it still hurts tomorrow, Robin," she ordered, her authority ringing through her words, though her eyes remained closed as she kept her forehead pressed against Red X's.

Robin gave a chuckle to cover his relief at her not knowing the extent or circumstances of his injured hand and said, "I'll do that. You wouldn't let me get away with anything but."

She hummed, a sound conveying both satisfaction at his acquiescence and a mild, bemused disbelief that he would follow through.

A sound at the door, a squeal of both relief and delight, announced Starfire's entrance. She wasted no time flying to Raven's side and enveloping her friend and the empath's lover, both, in a smothering hug. It was a powerful embrace but Raven knew full well how much restraint Starfire must have been showing to keep from actually crushing her.

Beast Boy entered the room with an uncharacteristic silence, finding himself choked up more than he had anticipated at seeing Raven sitting up and awake. He found space through Starfire's embrace to hug Raven from behind and his breath hitched when he heard her laugh from the gesture. He was still not quite used to that sound coming so freely.

"Took you long enough to wake," he jokingly chastised when he took a step back and to the side so he could see her face. He sighed and admitted, "We were worried."

He put on a brave smile to cover the depth of his concern but the words, "You were out the whole day," slipped past his lips in a choked tone that belied his troubled thoughts.

Raven sighed at the confirmation of another lost day but then gave him a soft smile, another thing he wasn't quite used to yet, and reached out to ruffle his hair affectionately.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

When Starfire pulled back to take a good look at her friend, Raven turned and leaned back against Red X. He wrapped his arms around her and she settled back against him and laid her hands on his where they clasped together in front of her. She leaned her head back to rest on his shoulder and turned her face to see the beaming smile on the Starfire's face.

"Oh, Raven! You are well again?" Starfire asked, relief more evident on her face at seeing Raven clearheaded, showing how concerned she had been while Raven was unconscious.

Raven gave her friend a smile as well and a hum as an affirmative. "Thanks to all of you, I am told," she said with gratitude, looking from Starfire to Beast Boy, then Cyborg, then Robin. She squeezed Red X's hands beneath hers to acknowledge him in the statement as well. "I'm not sure what would have happened if not for everything you all did. It doesn't seem like enough but, thank you."

Beast boy's face flushed a bit at the thanks and Raven gave him another little laugh. Starfire seemed pleased with Raven's praise, her part in helping, and the genuine joy of her friend's recovery.

"Well, everything looks pretty good," Cyborg said as he continued sifting through the charts on the tablet, cutting through any remaining tension with his words. "Everything is stable. Last of the bullets are accounted for. Wounds closed. Vitals are strong."

He looked over the tablet at Raven with a little smile. "I'm gonna have to study that healing capability of yours sometime."

They shared a smile, that small gesture bringing added comfort to them all.

"Looking for a new lab rat?" she teased.

"Not until this one gets some rest," he said with a look that spoke to his seriousness.

"That we can all agree on, I think," Red X said.

"And on the advice of my physician, am I free to do that in my own room?" Raven asked Cyborg with a hopeful look.

He looked down at the charts as if he could find some reason to keep her here under observation, but her healing had done it's work completely and he couldn't find one. He sighed and looked back at her, giving her a nod. "I'd prefer to keep you here where we can monitor you just in case, but I see no reason for you to not go rest where you're most comfortable. I'd just feel better if you weren't alone."

"I don't have to be," Raven said softly, leaning forward and looking back over her shoulder to look at Red X.

"Is that an invitation?" he asked, a bit of the familiar mischief creeping into his voice through the synthesizer.

She scoffed and smacked him on the shoulder, but also gave him a wink that the others couldn't see. She could only imagine the smirk on his face.

She didn't have to imagine the scowl on Robin's.

"I'm not sure that's the best idea," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. He mostly succeeded. "It was one thing to let him stay while we were figuring things out. While you were healing. Letting him stay the night in the Tower is another matter entirely."

Raven sat up straight and regarded Robin with a deference for her leader but also with a familiarity for her best friend.

"Then I'll go to his place," she said simply, eyes fixed on Robin and making sure he knew that she was serious. "You, yourself, sent him in here in the hopes that his presence would help me heal. You believed he would help me. And I truly believe that his presence will give me the best chance at rest. So if you won't let him stay here then I'll just go where he is."

She didn't really know why she was pushing the issue. She could rest in her room on her own or with Starfire who would probably adore the idea of a sleepover. But she squeezed Jason's hand and her resolve grew as Robin's gaze pierced her, testing her intent to butt heads over this. Jason squeezed her hand tight, like he was afraid to let go, and Raven knew something was going on with him beyond the trauma of what had happened to her and she didn't want him to be alone either. She realized this insistence on staying together tonight was for his sake as much as hers.

Robin finally sighed and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He couldn't even muster frustration in this moment. Not when looking at Raven while the relief she was alive was still settled over him. He looked to each of his other teammates and saw no objections any of them were willing to verbalize. He looked back to Raven and nodded, once.

"Fine, then. But if this is to happen then we will need to take precautions," he said, turning to Red X. He held out a hand, palm up, and stared the man down. "The belt."

"What?" Red X asked, genuinely confused for a moment as his exhaustion made his comprehension a tad slow.

"The belt," Robin repeated, firmly. "I won't have you stay in this tower overnight and still have the capability of taking off whenever you please or even absconding with something," he gave a pointed look to Raven, "or someone you shouldn't be."

Raven looked to Red X, deciding not to speak as the decision wasn't hers to make. Robin stepped up to the thief, hand still outstretched expectantly.

"It's the cost of you staying," Robin said. "Non negotiable."

"Are you asking me to give it up for tonight, or taking it back for good?" Red X asked, cautious and wary, his grip still firm in Raven's hand and wondering if he even cared so long as he was with her.

Robin paused for too long a moment as he took the time to carefully consider his answer.

"You having that belt has helped up put away enough criminals to merit you continuing to have it," he finally said. "On top of that, perhaps more that that, you having it has saved Raven, more than once, and for that I would be willing," the word seemed to pain him, "to return it to you upon your departure from the Tower. But while you're here, the belt stays with me."

"I won't ask you to give it up," Raven said softly, eyes still on her lover. "There's no need from my end. Nothing to prove. We could easily go back to your place."

Red X was already standing and taking the belt off before she finished speaking.

"There is a need," he said, leaning over and nuzzling her face with his. "I don't like the idea of you being alone and taking you back to my place, belt or car, is a strain you don't need either. This is an easy choice, Little Bird."

He stood to full height and faced Robin, handing over the belt.

"My payment," he offered stiffly, hand still outstretched with the belt, but he turned his face away from Robin to Raven's instead and rested his forehead against hers. It was a statement on which meant more to him, her or the belt that he'd worked so hard to steal and keep. A statement not unnoticed by any of them.

Robin paused for a moment in surprise, both that Red X had given up the belt so quickly and also that he had given it up at all, before he took the belt. He waited for the thief to face him again and gave the man before him a single nod. He looked over to Cyborg.

"You sure she's alright to leave the med bay?" he asked.

"For anyone else I'd say no," Cyborg started, "but Raven's always been a bit of an exception to the rules when it comes to injury protocol. She should be fine, and with someone with her and her remaining in the tower I'd say I'm comfortable with it."

He put the charts down on the nearby table and leaned back against it. "I want you resting, though, Raven. You hear me?"

She gave him a small smile and nodded, starting to pull the blanket off of her.

It was several more minutes of hugs and assurances from Starfire and Beast Boy, including a careful but firm hug from Cyborg, before she finally found herself heading to the door hand in hand with Jason.

She tugged on Robin's sleeve as they passed and gave his arm a squeeze. She mouthed a "thank you" with a soft look and small smile that Robin returned without hesitation. He felt a thrum run though their bond, fondness and a depth of affection, and he both loved and grieved it. Raven released his arm and walked past him. Robin stayed in place, not wanting to watch her leave. He could hear the doors whoosh open as the two figures departed.

O • O • O • O

Robin spent no more than twenty minutes in his room that night before he left and wandered the dark halls, knowing that trying to rest was a lost cause. He was reeling over the trauma of almost losing Raven, of course, but he was also wrestling with his self pity over the fact that Red X was with her now instead of him.

And then there was also the fact that he had almost allowed himself to kill a man last night from sheer, personal rage to deal with.

That knowledge, though he wasn't ready to face it let alone analyze it internally, was hanging from his shoulders like a weighted, armored, chained mantle. It was so heavy and cumbersome that he was surprised others couldn't hear the noise of it as he moved. He had never felt shame or guilt like this, never felt something cling to him like a physical weight.

And the one person that he wanted to talk to about it, the one person who knew him best and who could offer the most honest yet loving insight, was with someone else, recovering from her own wounds. She had chosen to be with someone else.

He wound up in the kitchen, knowing that coffee was the wrong answer to his restlessness but finding that the thought of tea was not as appealing when it wasn't being shared with his best friend. As irrationally childish as he felt doing it, he made himself some hot chocolate, instead. After staring at his mug for a few extra seconds, he opened the cabinet to fetch extra marshmallows.

He left the kitchen and went to the Tower's main living space without bothering to turn on the lights, content to wallow in the dark for a bit and see if the hot drink could offer him any sort of comfort. But he soon found that he was not alone in his late night restlessness.

The tv was on, the volume down and barely audible, a video game menu screen up but the game seemingly forgotten. On the closest end of the couch he spotted two figures in the dark and, from the size of the silhouettes deduced they belonged to Cyborg and Beast Boy. They were speaking in low tones and looked up as they sensed Robin approaching.

"Hey man," Cyborg said in greeting as Robin reached them, seemingly not surprised to see him. "We couldn't sleep either," he gestured to the controllers abandoned on the couch between himself and Beast Boy, "but playing wasn't really working out for us."

"We gave up and just . . . just started talking about what happened," Beast Boy said quietly, far more serious than normal. "We hadn't really talked about it yet and . . ." he sighed and fidgeted a bit, "and I think we need to. I think we were all too scared to say anything yesterday. Like we'd jinx it or something."

Robin nodded his understanding and took a seat in a nearby armchair. "It almost doesn't feel real," he admits. "Yesterday just going about mindless tasks so I wouldn't think about it. None of us speaking to one another because we didn't want talk about it. Just trying to get through the day. It's like it was all just part of some awful nightmare I was waiting to wake from."

"A nightmare is what it was," came a subdued voice from the shadows on the other end of the couch and Robin finally noticed Starfire curled up in a blanket and splashed with the dim light from the tv. "I have never felt the fear like that before."

Robin watched the normally animated alien sit so still, her eyes so haunted. Even more so in the flickering light from the tv. He rose and walked over to her, leaning down and handing over his hot chocolate, deciding she might benefit more from it than he. She looked up at him and took the mug with a weak smile, taking a sip and giving a little pleased hum.

"Thank you, Robin."

He nodded and offered a small smile before returning to his seat, slumping into the chair as if giving in to the weight he still felt pressing on him.

"We were all scared, Star," he said absently. "We definitely all shared that."

She nodded and took another sip, staring into the mug and tapping her finger on the handle.

"She's been hurt before," Beast Boy mused aloud, "but it was always something . . . weird to hurt her, you know? Something not human. And she was always so quick to come back. Lately, though . . . lately it's been different. Slade and the syndicate and . . ." He pursed his lips a bit as he thought. "I never thought she'd be almost taken out by something as, I don't know . . . as ordinary as a handful of bullets."

He looked around at the others after voicing his thoughts and saw that those sentiments were shared. None of them had seen this coming. None of them had anticipated their sorcerous empath to be brought so close to death by something so absolutely mundane, at least in the grand scheme of crime fighting. Not when they had fought magic users and demons and people with metahuman capabilities in the past and had thwarted them all. It was a sobering concept and they found themselves, all, unsure of how to come to grips with it.

"Facing some of the things that we've faced, taking down the enemies we have, I started to feel like we were invincible, you know?" Cyborg said to break the long silence. "Not just her, but all of us. We've been beat before, been transported away and affected by things, been hurt, but not like that, man. Not lying there right in front of me, all of us there and none of us able to fix it. No plan but to wait."

"Red X muttered something earlier," Robin added, staring out the window into the night. "I'm not honestly sure he knew he was talking out loud, but he mentioned being complacent. And it's not just a fault of his. We all got complacent. We all didn't take things as seriously as we should have."

Robin didn't mention that Red X had said this all to Raven in private and that the only reason Robin knew was because he had watched some of the interaction between the thief and the unconscious Raven. He had told himself this breach of privacy was a security need, but the voice in his head that kept niggling that this was wrong had finally made him turn off the monitors and stop intruding on a moment that wasn't his. He had witnessed some of Red X's self loathing and it had bothered Robin more than he had expected. Not just because it humanized Red X in Robin's mind, but there was something else there; that same nagging familiarity that he felt earlier. But he still could not place it.

"Complacent is a good word for it, man" Cyborg said quietly. "We should have taken the threat against her more seriously. We should take any threat like that against any of us seriously. A lesson we almost learned too late."

There was another long silence as they all sat with that before Starfire spoke up.

"But we were not too late. She has done the healing and now just needs the rest. We should be better in the future but perhaps we should simply be grateful that our friend is still with us. And will remain so if we are to have a say in it."

A kind of peace started to settle over them with her words. The guilt and relief they had been riding since Red X had appeared with Raven at the tower the night before was soothed a bit by the gratitude that Starfire mentioned. The atmosphere lightened somewhat as they talked things out, expressing the things they had been keeping inside all the previous day. A couple of hours passed and Robin was surprised to find that even he felt a little lighter for it.

Eventually, when all the others had made their way out of the common room and back to their respective rooms, Robin found himself alone, staring out the window.

He tried to keep hold on that gratitude that had eased some of his guilt, but there was too much about these last two nights for him to focus on that single feeling. So many thoughts and emotions were packed into his head to fully comprehend let alone analyze. His mind, brilliant as it was, needed rest as well and it didn't take long for sleep to find Robin right where he was in that chair.

O • O • O • O

Raven led the way to her room in silence, Jason's hand gripped firmly in hers. She didn't even try to suggest teleporting, knowing that he would be concerned about using her powers so soon. A fair point as she wasn't quite sure what she'd be able to handle right now either. She opened the door to her room and pulled him inside, the door closing behind him. Once they were safely in her room and alone she let out a shuddering sigh and leaned against him, finally able to focus on herself instead of the rest of her team and their own feelings and emotions.

He could feel the tension melt from her as he pulled off his mask, wrapped his arms around her and held her, him benefiting from their shared peace together as well. He may have grown complacent in his vigilance and their safety but he hadn't taken that solace they shared together for granted. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to get used to the serenity they found when in each others' company. It meant too much to him.

He rested his head on hers and sighed, lost in this moment with her. She smelled like tea and incense as per usual, though there were undertones of blood and antiseptic that reminded him of where she had spent the last day.

"We should get you cleaned up," he murmured gently into her hair. "Wash the last of this horror from you. How do you feel about a bath?"

A small shudder ran through her at the thoughts of those horrors and she tightened her grip around him.

"That sounds nice," she said, slightly muffled against his chest. "Will you help?"

"That was the plan," he said with a smirk she could hear in his tone.

"All you ever think about," she teased, repeating her words from the previous night before everything had gone wrong, as if hoping those words could bring them back to that less tempestuous time.

She was rewarded with a low chuckle rumbling in his chest and she hummed contentedly at the sound. She pulled back just enough to see his face and she ran fingertips down the side of his jaw with a little smile.

She took his hand and led him to the adjoining bathroom, her favorite renovation the Tower had ever undergone. She glanced at the shower and then at him with a slight mischievous glint in her eye and he raised a brow in response. She knew he'd normally jump at the thought, but tonight was different and she knew it. He led her to the tub and sat her on the edge as he tossed his gloves aside, stoppered the tub, and turned on the water. She leaned in and poured in her favorite foaming bath gel and ran her hand through the water to test the temperature.

Jason pulled at the ties and snaps of the med bay smock that she had been changed into, pulling the fabric from her shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. His eyes ran over her body as they usually did, but the intention was much different this time. There was little evidence of the trauma that she had endured, blood having been cleaned and wounds set and recovered, beside the way she moved as if her ribs were still injured. He knew they must have been healed fully already or Cyborg would never have let her leave the med bay, but he knew she carried greater wounds with her long after they were physically healed. Like some psychic remnant of them remained.

He founds his fingers running over skin that one would never know by looking had been marred by bullet holes, marveling at the fact while also haunted by the memory of her warm blood pouring from her.

She laid a hand over one of his as it skimmed across her skin and twined her fingers with his. She raised his hand to her face and laid a series of kisses on his knuckles, waiting for his eyes to find hers instead of searching for wounds that no longer existed. His eyes were haunted when they met hers, but that soon faded at the tender look she was giving him.

Jason helped her into the tub and knelt beside her as she settled. He washed her hair and she practically purred under his ministrations and the soothing of the warm water. He grabbed a brush off the tub edge and painstakingly brushed through her freshly conditioned hair while she took a washcloth and soap and carefully washed the rest of her body. Eventually he set the brush down and took the cloth from her, having her lean forward while he washed her back.

They had been so intimate before in their numerous entanglements and the mapping and memorization of one anothers' bodies; It came easily to them and the way they just worked together. But this was a whole different form of intimacy as he affectionately tended to her. And it wasn't lost on him how comfortable she was allowing herself to be so vulnerable under his touch.

He planted light, chaste kisses along the back of her shoulder and she leaned her head back on his. Neither was sure who started speaking first, but they found themselves speaking in hushed tones about the previous evening. Raven whispered thanks for saving her and apologies for being caught in the situation at all. Jason murmured his own apologies for her being in this situation in the first place and telling her how scared he was and how he can't describe, now, how it feels for her to be warm and well beneath his hands.

Raven twisted to face him in the tub and words turned to kisses, slow and needy and deep. Jason barely shimmied out of his Red X suit before she pulled him into the tub with her, the awkward space and the water spilled on the floor completely ignored by their need for closeness. They pressed up against one another in the warm water, needing nothing more in the moment than to feel each other, to lose themselves in the closeness of the other, to forget everything outside of the feel of their bodies touching. Jason's hands were gentle, very much wanting to indulge in her but wary of hurting her any further.

When the water started to cool enough for goosebumps to begin appearing on her skin, Jason stood and stepped out of the tub, helping her step out to join him. He grabbed a towel and fluffed her hair, smiling as she let out a little laugh at the gesture. He dried her, not being able to help his eyes grazing over her body and the desire for her kindling in him. He attempted to quickly dry himself as she started pulling him out of the bathroom.

The towel fell to the floor of her room as she yanked him into her and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. He met her searing kiss and followed as she led them backward toward the bed. When the backs of her legs hit the bed she fell back, pulling Jason along to fall atop her.