Scarlet Justice - ep. 11
"Semper Anticus"

It's slow going, even after I gather my resolve. Luna's cooking still doesn't have the taste it should, so I stick to simple foods, vitamins, and drinking liquids. I do my stretches and exercises at home, staying there until the beginning of the next week.

When the time finally does come, I feel up to eating breakfast. Not where I want it to be, but...it's a start. I think the short depression did more to me physically than it did mentally, somehow.

Luna hugs me tightly before I leave. The air outside feels heavy and moist, which only makes sense...being able to afford central air helps a lot with comfort in this type of climate. I walk to school through the usual morning crowds, along the same route, towards the same entrance. Iruka is there waiting, and he looks at me carefully.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yes, sensei. With your permission."

He nods and steps aside, letting me through. I go to the cafeteria first, where the cook hands me my usual order of dairy and asks how I'm doing. It seems she hasn't heard about the incident in full, so I deflect a little - there's no need to cause trouble on my return. I think the entire saga has been filed away under 'need to know'.

I drink down my milk while doing a bit of extra studying, then head for the big study hall when I'm ready. There are more people than I remember, and it must be because of the proximity to the final exams. I walk in quietly and take a seat in one of the distant corners, electing not to interact with anyone for now. Heads turn to look at me, and...it's strange in a lot of ways. How their eyes look.

They're pitying me again.

Even though I won, and I was the victim in the end...but then, I realize it makes sense. They don't realize a thing. They don't understand. Perhaps my eyes have changed more than I realized. They look so...trashy. So fake. So plastic and useless, these people. Who are they to me? What are they to me? These fools who wrapped my name in dirt and curses, over and over and over again.

This is what Emi sees. Why she chose to protect herself above all else. Now it makes perfect sense...she must have been attacked like this in the past herself. Experiencing this kind of ridicule would make anyone curl up into themselves. But I have already decided that I am above all of that.

Today's lesson is a review of tool application. I barely give the lesson any thought and daydream a while about the future. What sorts of missions would I be sent on? Hm. Probably small tasks to start. Deliveries and odd jobs. Handling responsibility, I suppose.

Class ends and I watch everyone file out before starting to do the same.

"Lili?"

I reach the door and turn. There is a welcome, familiar face.

"Hinata. It's good to see you again," I say with a smile.

"Y-you too...I'm so glad...so glad you're okay." She clasps her hands together as she smiles at me. I open my arms to her, and she comes running, squeezing me tightly. I hug her back.

"I know that you sent prayers my way. Thank you for worrying so much, even if I don't deserve it..."

"That's...not true." I feel her squeeze me tighter. "Lili...thank goodness."

"..." There are still people in this world that I feel an attachment to, after all. I can't turn my heart to ice completely. Not yet, anyways. And certainly not towards Hinata. "Shall we head to class? We shouldn't be late."

"Yes." We let go of each other, and I can see her happy smile again. She really is too cute to handle at times.

The next class is for the tea ceremony. An easy enough thing, but the proximity to people irritates me today for some reason. I don't know why exactly it is...perhaps my body is reacting again before my mind can process it. It's easily overcome, though. I work with Hinata and start to brew our tea as part of today's lesson.

Footsteps come towards my table. I pay them no mind.

"Um...Lilith?"

I lift my head and give my visitor a side-eye look. I am already wearied at this point.

"Ino. How may I help you?" I ask. She flinches, feeling the bite in my voice.

"I...about the other day...I'm so sorry about what happened. It wasn't right. I just...wanted...wanted to..."

"..."

"I just wanted to say that I'm not okay with it, at all. Even if...it was Sasuke. It was bad, it wasn't...um..." She nervously brushes back a strand of hair. "I know that I've been...I haven't been..."

I wish she would hurry up. But...she's trying, at least. Which is more than could be said for any of the other trash she hangs out with.

"I know that I've been indifferent to you, and just...not nice. I'm sorry. I was wrong."

"Are you pitying me?" I press. She stiffens and rubs one of her arms. The poor thing might burst into tears any moment now.

"N-no! No...I didn't mean to...imply..."

I look back into my tea, watching the ripples that move across the surface.

It's enough.

"Lili is fine," I say without looking at her.

"O-okay. I-I'm sorry again...Lili. Thank you."

"Understood. Be well, Ino."

"Yes."

She bows quickly before walking back to her table. I watch her leave, thinking about her approach, and her apology to me. Is it really enough?

"..."

It is. That much is good enough, for now.

"Lili? Is it...really okay?" Hinata asks me.

"It's perfectly fine. Ino is simply a girl...but she has her heart in the right place."

"I see...um...it's hard to connect with that type of person...for me."

"It will come in time," I assure her.

"Yes."

I feel my loathing of humanity build, despite earlier performances.

I really am selfish. Oh well.

Hinata presents me a bottle of milk at lunch. I gently take it from her, and note her expression. It's heavy, as if she's in pain.

Still thinking of me, to that extent. She really is silly sometimes.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

She sits and looks at me, confused. "Y-you're worried about me?"

"Yes. There are very few people in the world that I care for...and you are one of them."

"Lili..." She rubs at her eyes. "I'm fine...I was..."

"Frightened for me."

She nods slowly. I let out a breath as I flick open the bottle lid with one finger.

"I might be damaged. Deeply, at that...staring at death as I did is more than a small blow to the psyche. But I have overcome the first hurdle, and I will be fine. I promise you, Hinata."

I sip from my bottle and lick my lips.

"..."

How curious. Milk tastes as delicious as ever.

The day is nearly over, and I welcome it. We have free study today for the last block of class. I make use of the time to practice my balance on a suspended rope in the yard. It's quite easy...I did have a knack for it while training at Midori's place.

I think of her as I walk back and forth across the rope in silence.

"Oi!"

It's suddenly noisy. Surely it will pass.

"Oi! Down here!"

"..."

I turn my head to see a certain blonde idiot on the ground below. The same dumb orange clothing, the same silly goggles perched on his head. The same stupid voice. I had gone all day without experiencing his antics.

His look is determined this time around. As if he might have business with me.

How absurd. This nonsense is the very last thing I need. I am almost done with the day. I can go home, I can hug Luna and take a warm bath. I can lie in my bed and read manga before I go to sleep. So close. It's so irritating...

"Listen! I'm challenging you to a fight! You got that?"

I drop down from the rope and glare at him from afar. There is no way he said that.

"I ain't Sasuke! I'll give you a proper fight this time!"

I tilt my head, incredulous. Is this child...brain dead, possibly?

His skills are rudimentary at best, and he was there to see what happened the other day. Did he think this was some sort of joke? A game? A competition, just another long line of challenges between himself and Sasuke? I can feel my chest getting hot with anger.

No. Calm down. I have to slow myself, even if he's asking for it.

"No pressure, yeah?" Naruto says while folding his arms. "You can back out any time you like, but I've already told everyone that I'm gonna beat you! I'm better than that loser Sasuke, and I don't choke people out or kick 'em when the match is over, ya know?"

"..." The more he speaks, the more genuine he seems.

"So how about it?"

I would lose nothing by declining. And it might be better for my mental health if I simply walk away right now and head home. This can be safely brushed off as a bad joke, and the only one laughed at would be Naruto.

But then...I think of all the ways I can use this to my advantage. This irritation needs to go away somehow, and working out my stress...

"..."

I'll make use of this child. I walk up to him and stare him down.

"Make sure you don't regret your decision," I say firmly. Naruto grins and pumps his fists in response.

"Yosh, got it! I'm gonna tell Iruka-sensei the good news! Be back soon!"

I watch him run off towards the main building. In the meantime, I gather my things from my bag, and make sure they're secure on my body. It seems I'm ready.

"..."

That boy is going to be my punching bag today. I feel sorry for him.

Almost.