cw: lots of sadism including fantasies about it, graphic violence, murderboners everywhere, some potentially suggestive themes

so yeah, this is The Match™ that has been anticipated for a few chapters and Lili is going to really get into it. The violence levels aren't as high as certain other times but the warning is still there. I don't think it's anything unusual considering the manga I've based this on, but unusual and uncomfortable are two different things. Just another reminder that I don't endorse murderboners here, but it's happening in the story because...this is that kind of story.

So yeah as usual, read the content warning before you start and enjoy the read.

Scarlet Justice - ep. 39
"Milk and Honey"
[Chuunin Exams: Third Round Finals 3]

The people watching aren't quite sure what to make of the upcoming fight, but he's the match favourite. The most dangerous guy in the exams against me, a relative unknown to the people from many different nations and walks of life.

He scrutinizes me for a while, watching me pull on my gloves before starting to speak.

"What...are you?" he asks.

"That's a strange question, you know. I'm not sure what exactly you mean by that," I reply calmly.

"You're...not what you seem. You...you're not right," he says in that cold and rough voice of his. "It was supposed to be someone else. Uchiha...or the bowl-head. Hyuuga...or that Naruto kid. But you...something is off with you."

"Off?" I tilt my head to one side. "Hm?"

"You're hiding something...aren't you?"

"Mm. Could be. I'm a shinobi, after all. Can't be too honest, that's how you get yourself killed."

He narrows his eyes. "Show it to me. Let me understand. Let me see if I can validate my existence this way as well. My reason to exist...is to kill anyone and everyone in this world. I was born a monster...a weapon of destruction. I took my mother's life as soon as I came into this world, and I took the lives of countless others. The shinobi arts are all I know, all I have ever known. I used them to kill and destroy. I have always been hated...ridiculed...despised. And so I needed a reason to live. I found that reason...hehehehahahaha..."

His green eyes are filled with madness. I can feel myself tensing already.

"Fighting only for myself. Loving only myself. My existence will not disappear as long as I have people to kill. And those who are strong...those who are strong serve as my prey! To live on the edge, to have the threat of death, of eternal sleep hanging over your head, each every single day! That is what it means to be ALIVE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

This one...he's really insane. And those feelings are pushing at me, even harder than before.

"If you have the drive...if you have the determination...show it to me! Show me what it means to BE ALIIIIIIIIIVE!"

"..." I look over at Hayate. "Oi...start the match. I don't know what's wrong with this guy."

"A-alright." He coughs. "Begin!"

"I assume you want a response. Here," I say as I make the snake seal. "Watch my mouth carefully."

"?"

I open my mouth and fire a blast of lightning directly at him. It clashes with a wave of sand that comes up at the last moment.

"Alive...what? I don't understand the garbage that is coming from your mouth. You're just a masochist," I sneer at him.

"What?"

"Why do you think I care about feeling 'alive'? I'm alive right now. I already exist. Why do I care about what you want? I don't want to think about death all the time. I don't need to kill to validate my existence. My existence is already validated and established. I kill and take pleasure in the blood that coats my skin for sport. It's something I do because I love it." I tilt my head upwards slightly. "It's not for some silly fucking quest to make myself feel special. Pathetic."

"You ignorant little bitch...!"

"Do you know what the draw is for me here? I want to see how sweet and delicious your blood tastes. That's all, sweetheart."

"Graaaaaaah!"

So it begins.

Gaara slides backwards before sending a wave of sand at me, and I accelerate forward. I reach him, getting close enough to touch him before his sand can react. The back of my hand slides across his cheek, and I can feel how cool it is. Extra armor, then...made of sand, most definitely. It's likely to be covering his entire body, and so it must be heavy. That's why he was stationary against Tenten, to conserve stamina.

Still, to think about a contingency with the automatic barrier protecting him already...he's definitely no fool, and clearly not as much of a thrill seeking masochist as he lets on. Just a psychotic child. Sad and unfortunate, but...I haven't shown mercy to young boys so far. It won't start now.

I easily step away before his barrier of sand can push me out. Good against most long range attacks, though False Darkness was nearly enough to overwhelm it point blank. As his sand chases after me, I can see that it's struggling very hard to keep up. But there's more of it than there was to start the match, and I feel like it's much more than what could be packed into that gourd. It doesn't have the same intense scent of blood, for one. He's grinding up earth to make more and more sand, and I can only assume that he's using the sand from his gourd as a starting point. His control is quite scary as I think about it...

It's not something I can stop other than by taking him out completely, an inevitability that I've already accounted for.

"Hm."

I use a body flicker to charge in and see just how tough that personal armor really is. The sand lags again as I enter his personal space and deliver a heavy slash with my kunai before retreating backwards. It's strong as there's not much in the way of damage, but it frustrates him to recreate it for any reason. Just as I was thinking earlier. His next move is to create clones out of the sand in the area, forming as I weave in and out of his attack range. More sand is surging around us, and sand shuriken coming from the clones whip by me harmlessly. I move easily and effortlessly with the speed I've gained from training, taking moments to assess the current situation as he stands in place and tries to figure me out.

It's time to get to important matters...how much fun do I want to have with this? My heart is beating fast, but not from nervousness. This is sheer excitement. I can feel heat spreading across my cheeks, and I charge back in past Gaara's obstacles to punch him in the face. My knuckles sting harshly from the impact, and his armor cracks a bit before he repairs it as I skip back towards the outside. I'm getting hungry again, my belly rumbling. I want to see how delicious blood would taste from a body that has never been harmed. The rarest of delicacies, a once in a lifetime opportunity. It makes me more excited by the second...I have to have it. I realize now what's pushing this excitement so much higher than anything else I've ever experienced.

Hunting other prey is different. I stalk and slaughter them, and they fight back to defend themselves...if I allow them to. The feeling is plainly that of a predator and prey relationship. Seeing their fear and despair is spicy, and makes for a lovely meal in the end. From that, I can be satisfied. Consuming the bandits, and slowly drinking the light from that boy as I ruthlessly tore him apart...those were good experiences.

But this...this is different. The feeling of murderous intent. The desire to use me for their own ends. It pushes against me, makes me aware of the darkness in my heart. It stirs me to action. The other level of my sadistic impulses...not just devouring people, but crushing and dominating those who would dare try to break me. Seeing them in despair, shedding tears after their ambitions are crushed and their bodies ground beneath my heel. Hearing them beg for mercy. Watching them squirm as I advance on them. That feeling of absolute control...of watching them crumble to nothing as I thoroughly enjoy myself.

That...is beyond amazing to me.

It pushes this want forward as I watch Gaara create more sand as time moves forward. I'm faster than him. I'm in a far better position. I want to carve him up like a piece of meat, and I have so many ways of doing it. Clones of sand that might as well be statues dedicated to his memory. An automatic defense that can't even keep up with me. Everything he throws at me is useless, and he's so clueless as to where he stands.

So many options. I lick my lips as I come to rest some distance away from him. He glares at me, pushing his murderous aura across the battlefield. I just want to crush him more and more by the second. I fantasize about having my hands around his throat, hearing him choke as he begs me to let him go. I'm going to enjoy breaking him, I know it.

And I have just the technique to punish him with.

"Let's go with it, then..." I give him a wicked smile for his troubles, and swipe through an incoming wave of sand as it misses me. I place the small grains of sand on my tongue and swallow...the world has changed again in my sight, and I can see everything clearly. Paths of light shift and change as the sand moves and gathers around Gaara's form. There's a mix of chakras inside of him, which makes sense considering who he is...and he has plenty of it, even with the use of his techniques like that sand armor.

I retreat all the way to the far wall of the stadium, and his sand attacks die off. He's stopped chasing me and is going to use the time to work something else out. I suppose it's now or never, then. Even with the advantages that I have now, Gaara can be very dangerous if I'm not careful with my movements.

But...I'm dangerous too.

"Here..." I make the four seals needed for the technique and watch as chakra bursts forth violently from my right hand, scorching and searing the ground beneath my feet. I feel my hand shake violently with the pressure as I compress the chakra into it. Scattered bolts of lightning fade down to brightly blazing arcs around my fingers, and those fade further into a dull glow. There's a soothing sound, a hum of energy that is constant in my ears. There's a rumbling against my skin, notable but nothing bothersome. My flesh is tingling from the rush of chakra. It wants to burst out quickly, but that's the whole point, isn't it?

I let the noise from around me filter in, and it seems like the crowd is really into it. They're quite excited from my little performance so far. I wonder if I might be into showing off, too...it might fit my personality. Emi did give me that sort of experience...

"Come back here and fight, little girl. You can't run away from me!"

I'm snapped back into focus by that annoying voice. Run away? You trash...who is it you think you're mocking? I make a face as I freely hold my technique.

"That's one more reason to crush you...little boys shouldn't talk so much, or be so rude. I'll give you the punishment you deserve for that."

"Your ignorance will only lead to death. I know how fast you can move...you won't ever beat me with your weak attacks."

"Hmph. Well...here I come, then. I'll give you an unforgettable experience."

I focus chakra into my feet and surge ahead. Gaara stretches an arm forward.

"Quicksand Waterfall Flow!"

I can feel the earth rumbling. Sand gathers and rises up from beneath the earth, forming into a giant wave. It rises high above me before breaking and starting to come down on my head. I simply accelerate to my right, moving in an arc and then back towards the middle of the arena as the sand crashes down behind me. More waves of sand, smaller now, come up in my path and I dodge them easily. The chakra in my right hand is burning pleasantly.

Gaara turns to face me, thinking about trying that attack again while creating more of his sand clones. The waves of sand get bigger, and he tries to clip my feet as I move. I keep going, moving left and right and back again as I accelerate and spray sand everywhere. More clones rise up in advance of my arrival and I tear past them like they're not even there. He has no room to start that technique again and his eyes widen as he realizes what's happening. I get closer and closer and he has no means to stop me.

The very last wall of sand appears and I burst through it head first, laughing like the cruel mistress I am before I put my right finger to his chest, pointing my thumb upwards as if I were playing with an imaginary gun. Oh, but this is a brutal reality for him, isn't it? The sand is still too slow...it's time to take him, just like I've wanted to from the start. I grab onto his right shoulder so that he can't escape me.

"Are you ready? I'm gonna drive it in, darling~!"

"You...!"

A sonic boom explodes into existence as I fire. The beam of blue light explodes against the wall surrounding the edge of the arena, tearing it apart and sending pieces flying outwards.

"Gaaaak!"

Gaara falls to his knees as I let go of him, clutching at the hole in the right side of his chest. Sand crumbles around him as he loses his composure, hacking out blood and shaking like a newborn animal. His eyes are filling with tears as he stares up at me, fearful and confused. Oh, what a look. It's beautiful. So very good...

Blood has splashed onto my cheek, and I wipe at it with my fingers. I stare into him, like he did to me, and dip my finger into my mouth.

I knew it. A once in a lifetime experience. Pure like nothing else. Sweet on my tongue. Absolutely, indescribably delicious. This is it, something that can't possibly be surpassed in this world. A phenomenon like no other. I pull my finger from my mouth and feel my breathing get heavy. My body is filled with pure goodness. "This is everything I was hoping for and beyond," I say through my breaths. "The pain, the despair...everything mixing together so beautifully. It's all so good..."

"My...my blood...why?" Gaara slowly gathers sand to try and cover his wound. "What is this...what is this?"

"I need more. I really...need more out of you," I breathe out. "I'm not satisfied just yet." It feels so good. I know what's happening to me, and...I really shouldn't get carried away, but I am anyways. This sensation running through me right now is...rapture, isn't it? Yes, that's it. A pure, joyous experience that is threatening to overwhelm me. Something that people spend their entire lives chasing, over and over. I don't care about the next event, or how likely it is to happen again. I just want to enjoy...this part.

Degeneracy...decadence. I close my eyes for a moment and slowly savour the moment, feeling myself relax as I let out a long breath. I can focus again, somewhat. Gaara hasn't escaped my notice and I shove my foot into his face, knocking him backwards. He pants with exhaustion and glares at me with all the anger that he can muster.

All I can see is another chance to indulge. I just want...one more taste.

"Do you want to know what this is?" I ask as I look down at him, catching my breath. "It's pain. It's what you were talking about earlier...something that you desired. It was what you were looking for all along, when you said that you would risk your life against the strong. So...how is it, Gaara of the Desert?"

"I...ugh..."

"Do you feel alive yet?" I give him my special smile. "Or do I have to drive myself into you again?!"

"Ah...ahhh..AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I back away from him as the sand starts to gather from all around us. It covers his body completely, forming into a sphere...a cocoon, then. I feel a strange, dangerous pulse from inside as the sand continues to layer itself over and over, being drawn to one spot. The same sort of feeling from when Naruto drew on the chakra of the demon fox. This boy doesn't mean to attack.

"He wants to use that curse here," I mumble. It's not the same as Naruto, but there are those similarities in nature...

I glance up towards the waiting area. Temari is panicking, her face twisted up in fear. I move my eyes to another section and Kankuro is clearly frightened himself. The sensei from the Sand that came with them is grimacing. I have to wonder why they're all so distressed...seems a bit more than worry about Gaara being in danger.

"Is this a trump card? Shino did say you should always have one." I laugh to myself. "Kekeke...well, it doesn't matter if it's useless, right? I do have my love of girls, but...I might enjoy playing with cute boys like this, too. More and more bad habits on my part."

I slowly lick my lips.

"Ah, well. I can deal with this addiction later..."

I watch as some of the sand forms into a floating eye. It watches me intently.

"Oh. Surveillance...so he really is buying time for something. Could it be...hm. Transformation?" I watch his 'colours' start to change while licking some of the blood from my right hand. It's still so heavenly. "I'll crush him one more time...and get my fix before this is over."

I skip backwards and slowly make seals again, waiting for him to react. Nothing...he's focused on shifting inside of that cocoon. I'll bait him out with another attack before he finishes. Dealing with a tailed beast might be too much for me, though...something so big would have a lot of weak points, and-

"Focus, silly girl." I'm getting carried away. Right, I'll get one last taste and end this. Gaara's chakra is pulsing ominously as I charge my jutsu again. Three seconds to finish.

Done. Too bad for him.

"If this doesn't work, we can think of something else. For now, though...let's see. I don't want him to die, because that would be more than a little rude. If circumstances change, I'll change my thinking. The gut sounds like a good spot...that should hurt him plenty. Not too far south. If I remember correctly...yes, there." I raise my arm and point my finger forward, my hand in the same position as before. One eye closes to help with my aim. "Okay..."

Sand is now layering itself on the front of the sphere, in anticipation of my attack. He's running scared for sure now. This time...I'll give the audience a bit of extra service.

"There's nothing you can do now, boy. I'm here...to deliver this destruction to you. Lightning Release: Mobius."

I allow the electricity to flare up as I fire, sending a dramatic-looking burst towards the sphere of sand. It pierces it easily, making the front half explode outwards. Gaara is thrown against the crumbling wall of sand behind him, slumping over while coughing up blood. The entire sphere falls over a moment later, leaving him on the ground, bleeding.

I bring my hand towards my lips, and blow away the smoke from my index finger. "I suppose that's that. Midori-nee gave me a wonderful technique to play with...hmhm."

As I walk over, I see that Gaara is barely moving, resting on top of a layer of sand that must have cushioned his latest fall. His entire right arm has warped into a massive, veined limb with sharp claws on the end of it...it loses shape and falls apart, turning back into sand. Gaara is putting everything he has into remaining conscious - his automatic defense is down and the gourd from earlier is gone, too. So that was made of sand also? Interesting. His wounds are being covered by whatever sand he can move, thin layers are slowly being soaked through with blood.

"I...almost..."

I move towards his feet before crouching down, putting my hands on my knees. "Almost what," I ask, tonelessly. "Transformed? Had me against the wall, at your mercy? You boys would like the sound of that, wouldn't you."

"You...how are you...this strong...?"

I shrug. "I just am. I work hard, and I had hidden talents from before. Things I never would have discovered if not for this opportunity." I wish the idiots in the stands would shut up. The fight is over, let me do what I want. "I'm not like you. I don't do this to exist...sometimes, I want to feel a rush. So I end up playing with my food, like this time. The closest thing to perfect I've ever enjoyed."

He coughs and pulls himself to his feet, holding his stomach as it bleeds. Soon enough, he drops one knee again. His eyes stare into mine, though with none of the malice from the start of the match, or the despair from recently. It seems that I've drained him dry. Cute.

"I...I killed so much...but..."

"My power is my own," I say to him. "But it's helped along by the bonds that I've made. I don't have any fear of not existing if I don't kill. I don't stay awake at night wondering about it. But...I know what you mean to say. I was like you before I met her."

"H-her...? Who?"

"Midori. My sister in spirit. She was the one who made me into the beautiful weapon you see in front of you," I say with a small smile. "A goddess of destruction."

"That...how. How could she make you this...strong?"

"Love. She poured her love into me, without end. Without condition."

"Something like that...that doesn't make sense. That doesn't work..." He spits blood from his mouth and wipes at it with his free hand.

"I realize now that it's not your fault. You simply weren't taught right. Or...maybe you've just forgotten. Possibly because of your insomnia, but possibly because of something else. There are a lot of things. Or is it that you're listening to the wrong people?" I ask. "Who is it? The beast inside of your head? He probably lies to you all the time. Tells you what to do. What to feel. You're a puppet as you are."

"..." He stares at me, trying to understand.

"There are probably many things that you don't actually know. Many more things that you've forgotten along the way." I tilt my head slightly as I look at him. "Do you understand why I only saw you as a meal?"

"No..."

I nod. "Then learn. And one day, you might stand before me again. Create bonds. Explore the tiny world around you. Find a purpose that lets you stand on your own. Your method of validation requires other people to exist, to find and hunt as prey. As a human, you are better than that. Love only yourself? Fight only for yourself? Do you understand what it is you're saying? In order for you to exist, there has to be existence around you. What we call civilization. Without that, your existence has no meaning. And when things go wrong, and you are crippled and broken by someone like me...when you are completely devoured without a care...what then?"

He looks at the ground. "I...I don't know. All of these questions are..."

"They're hard. Both to ask of yourself, and to answer. They're supposed to be. I tried one night, long before this..."

"You..."

"It took a long time to pick up the pieces. It took a long time to accept what I was, and what was truly in front of me. How broken I was. How frightened I was. But I changed. I gave myself chance after chance to evolve, and I kept changing and changing over the years." I sigh. "I've stared into the abyss of death once before, through no fault of my own. That's why you were incomprehensible to me, spouting off trash. Living on the border of life and death? It makes me seethe just thinking about something like that."

Gaara blinks slowly. "Do...you fear death?"

"I fear what it could make me become."

He coughs out blood again, swaying slightly.

"You know, I can give you release from this mortal coil...if that's what you truly want. You must have developed a taste for pain by now," I nettle.

Gaara is quiet again, blood leaking from his wounds. He looks at me pensively.

"There...was only one monster in this arena today. And...and it wasn't me."

"I know. I'm the villain...this is what I want." I reach out and touch his forehead. "Gaara."

"...yes."

My finger traces over the scar he gave himself. "You don't have to remain where you are for the rest of your life. Recall what that silly boy in the orange outfit said to us earlier."

"..." He nods in understanding. I flick his forehead, and his eyes close as he falls backwards to the earth. Hayate waits a moment as blood starts to flow from his wounds.

"I guess I'm calling it," he says with a cough. "Gaara is unable to continue. Winner, Lilith Kobayashi."

The stadium is filled with conversation, moreso than cheering. They're wondering who exactly I am, and how I flattened Gaara like that. No damage...no real exchanges. Two bursts of my new technique, and that was all it took to bring him down. Waiting a bit longer would have provided new challenges, like a stadium full of sand, or a monstrous new form. But none of that was in the cards.

I can hear things filtering down as I listen in.

Crazy girl.

Murderer.

Psychotic.

Exhibitionist. Pervert. Freak.

Someone too frightening to belong. Things changing only to stay the same. But I made my decision long ago...this is my path. And this is who I am.

Someone is floating down from above...oh, that's Temari on her fan. The Sand sensei and Kankuro are still in the stands, shocked beyond anything at what just happened. Medics have already come out onto the field to stabilize Gaara. He opens his eyes slowly as they work, Temari rushing to his side.

"Temari...?"

"Gaara. You...you're so..." Her eyes flicker from Gaara to me as the medics stop the bleeding. He's put onto a stretcher, and Temari is given some extra time.

"I...am not sure what I was...doing for so long. I talked so much about pain...and suffering. They were not what I assumed them to be..."

"..."

"I...think you might not be...this close," he says with a deep breath in, "for a long time. So...w-while you can hear me..."

Temari shakes her head. "Gaara, listen, you don't have to-"

She stops as his hand moves, supported by sand. He puts it against her arm.

"I'm sorry."

Temari blinks. "You...what did you...say?"

"I'm sorry...for everything, Temari. I..."

"Gaara...?"

His hand falls away from her as he nods off. The medics make sure he's stable again before moving, taking him out of the arena. Temari is on her knees, motionless. She shuts her eyes tight, but can't stop the streams of tears from coming.

"I...I should be so angry at you for what you did. For what you've changed," she says. "But...now I don't know what to feel."

"What is that boy to you?" I ask.

"My little brother. Gaara hasn't...said anything like that in such a long time. In front of my eyes, in the span of a few hours...he's changed. He's changed so much..."

"Hmph. And here I thought you were just an ornery bitch," I say flatly. She snorts before laughing at that.

"That much is true, at least. I can get pretty vicious. As for you, well...I just thought you were a psychopath."

"I'm more of a pervert, really. But I can see how you got the two mixed up."

"Heh. I...I'm having a change of heart all of a sudden. It's so...stupid of me. Really..."

"..." Cryptic, isn't she.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom. Makeup's kinda ruined now..." She looks directly at me as she says that, before turning her head away. Slowly rising to her feet, she picks up her fan and starts to head to the bathroom as she said.

"We're gonna have a few minutes before the next match starts," Hayate says with a cough. "Give people some time to grab a bite, or fix their makeup...whatever helps."

I nod with understanding. Eating something or visiting my family would be nice...but I know what I want to do with my time.

"Oh, and one more thing before you take off..."

"Hm?"

"The customers need to be acknowledged a bit. It's a tradition," Hayate says, almost apologetically.

"Yes. I suppose that's true."

I give the audience my most uninterested look, and raise a victory sign towards the sky. They respond with loud approval.