Scarlet Justice - ep. 148
"Conciliation"
[Ritual, Part 6]

Night time, in this log cabin outside of the Leaf. A place not more than ten minutes away, yet far enough and secluded enough to be private.

The perimeter has been secured by a small team of the Leaf's ANBU, though they have no knowledge of what specifically is going on. All they know is that they're to protect their Hokage from any incoming threats. But with me around, they won't have anything to do, really.

Hiruzen draws back his hood as he steps inside the structure. I've been leaned against this wall for the past hour or so, scanning the area to make sure that we haven't been compromised. Akatsuki's surveillance expert, called Zetsu, has the ability to merge with his surroundings according to Itachi. He makes records of whatever he sees, likely using a bloodline limit, and with his powers he is supposedly undetectable.

Unfortunately for him, I am the princess of the serpent world. My ability to root out intruders does not exist in a single dimension, and thus I am not so easily defeated. Itachi has also smartly taken advantage of Akatsuki's scheduling – with three of their core membership now wiped out, each remaining member has more to do as a result. He mixes in various types of clones to take care of business, and to divide Zetsu's attention. That, combined with our anti-surveillance techniques, means we can stay more than a few steps ahead. Though...if this goes as planned, much of that won't be an issue in the future.

"..."

That's a pretty big if, I realize. We're dealing with Uchiha, after all. Known troublemakers.

"Have you been waiting long?" Hiruzen asks me.

"Not too long. My time has been spent monitoring the area, and so far nothing unusual has come up. Itachi continues to do well by us."

"Oh? How so?"

I pull at the bunched up sleeves of my sweater and leave the wall. "Pepper is an interesting thing. Very solid and distinct scents, you see."

"Ah. And your nose is on par with the Inuzuka, even before you start to get serious."

"A little much, no?"

He chuckles. "Hardly."

"I'll take your word for it, then. But suffice it to say, our spying friend has yet to make an appearance. And judging from the way Itachi keeps playing his cards, we won't have to worry about him outside of pitched battles with Akatsuki."

"Hm. A race to dismantle them, before they can properly solve you," he concludes.

"Yes. As I am now, I think I would make one too many errors. Even with Void Heart at my disposal, S-Class enemies are no joke. Itachi being one of them..." I look at the old man. "You do have a contingency, don't you?"

He gives me a look back. "I'm not entirely soft, young lady."

I incline my head to him respectfully. "My apologies. I was simply curious after all of this time."

"Mm. You're forgiven for that. No harm meant."

"Thank you."

"Sasuke will be arriving first. Then...we will simply make our observations from here."

"I suppose there is enough space for a little tussle, if they so desire it."

"Hopefully cooler heads will prevail."

The front door opens and closes swiftly. Sasuke looks at me with suspicion.

"What is she doing here? I thought this was business relating to the Uchiha," he says.

"It is. Lili is a part of everything. You will see soon enough, Sasuke."

"We don't need outsiders."

"..." I say nothing and close my eyes.

"Lord Hokage, tell me what's going on. Why am I here? Why are we here?"

"As I said, you will see soon enough." Hiruzen pauses, and with the rustling of clothing it must be to look down at his timepiece. "Very nearly time. Stand next to me, Sasuke."

He does as told and waits along with us. I can already sense Itachi approaching the front door. Something about this is still very tense, even though we've planned out so much. Sasuke doesn't know yet, and he couldn't, lest this meeting become completely unmanageable. But with all of us at the ready, we can make something good out of a possible disaster. The only thing left is to wait and see.

"Someone's coming," Sasuke mutters. "ANBU?"

"No," Hiruzen replies.

I open my eyes.

"Someone you know...Sasuke."

He looks at me with confusion before his head snaps back towards the door. It opens slowly, and I can see the edges of the black cloak. The figure steps inside and closes the door, locking it in place. His hood is over his head, and he stops a good distance away from Sasuke and Hiruzen before revealing himself.

"It's been a long time...little brother."

"It's...you. It's you. It's you! Itachi!"

Sasuke pumps chakra through his body, lightning surging around his left arm as a wild, unstable Chidori forms in his hand.

"You bastard! This entire time...this entire time I've been waiting to kill you! To fulfill my mission! The one that you burdened me with!"

"You still hate me, I see."

"Of course I do! You are Itachi Uchiha! I will kill you!"

The Chidori starts to stabilize.

"I did what you told me to. I resented and hated you. I gained strength, for one purpose and one purpose only. My life...my entire life has been devoted to killing you!"

"I see. But you're still too weak to think about challenging me. Do you not remember what else I told you?"

"Urgh...no! I have enough...it has to be enough! I won't listen to your damned lies!"

I can feel his chakra shift, but do not move. Tapping into it already...that forbidden power.

"One of Orochimaru's machinations?" Itachi muses.

"This power...this is what I took for myself! Orochimaru is dead! This is all me! And I'll use it, all of it, to crush you! You can go ahead and die!"

Sasuke roars before shooting forward, the black flames of the curse mark spreading over his skin. The Chidori in his hand shifts colour, changing to black.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"It's all...foolishness."

Itachi easily sidesteps the attack and knees Sasuke in the stomach. The lightning fizzles out in his hand as he loses control. Another blow comes before he can recover, and another, and another. Sasuke lands on his back, breathing heavily.

"That...easily? No...no! NOOOOOO!"

Sasuke jumps back to his feet and weaves signs. A fire attack in here...expected and reckless of him. Hiruzen weaves seals of his own, and I step to his side.

"Fire Release! Fire Ball Jutsu!"

"Earth Release: Earth Wall!"

"Water Release: Water Bullet Technique."

Sasuke and Itachi's attacks clash, throwing up a massive burst of heat. Steam winds its way around the rock wall that has formed thanks to Hiruzen's stream of mud. I hear the clashing of steel on steel in the next moment.

"You're sure the ANBU won't try to intervene? This is getting silly," I mutter to Hiruzen.

"We have a sensor on standby who is focusing exclusively on my chakra. Nothing to worry about," he replies, wiping at his mouth.

"Oh, good. I mean that sincerely, by the way."

"So noted. Though my sentiments match yours...this is a bit absurd. Sasuke really does seem to lose all sense when confronted with his older brother, or anything to do with him. It is understandable, but..."

"There has to be a limit." I sigh. "He's just as dense as Naruto. Always has been. I don't know what the hell girls saw in him in the first place."

The steam starts to clear, and Hiruzen splits the rock wall so that we can see what's happening. Itachi puts Sasuke on his back again, and the younger boy starts to scramble up.

"Sasuke."

"Shut the fuck up! I don't have anything to say to you, you murdering bastard! I'll kill you! I'll tear your fucking head off!"

"Sasuke. It's pointless. Don't you realize it by now?"

"Shut up! I'm not we-"

Itachi moves forward in a flash and grabs his throat. Sasuke coughs and struggles to release Itachi's grip. But it will only take a moment more, it seems.

"You're as stubborn as ever...you didn't gain the power I told you to, and this is the result. I will show you...everything you need to see."

"Not...like this! No!" Sasuke screams and flails, tears coming to his eyes. "Why?! Why was it all for nothing?!"

"Witness the power of Uchiha, through this Mangekyo Sharingan. Experience the truth of your pitiful existence, Sasuke."

Itachi's eyes swirl and change into a new pattern.

"Tsukuyomi."

And in a moment, it seems to be done. Sasuke's Sharingan fades off, and his eyes close as he falls limp. Itachi places him gently on the cabin floor.

"You Uchiha brats are always thirsty for drama, aren't you," I say to Itachi with my arms crossed. The earth wall disappears from around us.

"It seems so. I hoped that Sasuke would slow down and notice, but..."

"You would have been well served with a stab or two for your foolishness."

"I see." He looks to Hiruzen for guidance, his eyes changing back to their normal state.

"She is a bit tense tonight," the old man says. "In the same manner that we hope for a proper resolution, she does as well."

"Yes, and if you find yourselves in the afterlife by mysterious means, don't you complain to me about it later," I say harshly.

Itachi nods. "Yes. That seems to be the case. I will be sure to correct matters in my own way, once this part is done with."

My eyes narrow. "I have to wonder what you mean by that."

He smiles and says nothing, which is one of those supremely irritating little things he does to me. Reminds me a little too much of Midori, in fact.

"Never mind, then. I'll drag it out of you later. What about the boy, how long until he awakens?"

"It should be ten more minutes at most. The so called nightmare world that I normally send victims to has been repurposed...he will know my memories, and see things exactly as they were on that night. He will also see beyond that. The things I've done...the places that I've been since leaving the Leaf. He will know my feelings at last."

Itachi gets to the floor and sits, crossing his legs.

"It is no guarantee of salvation. Or survival. In fact, I intend to give him the option to end me once he wakes up. He will then have control of my eyes to do with as he pleases. The outcome that I once desired will become reality."

"But you hope for more than that," Hiruzen says.

"Far more, Sarutobi. After all...it was my imouto in spirit that gifted me with the audacity to dream for greater things. Both for Sasuke, and for myself. Whether or not he forgives me...I can finally say that I have forgiven myself. My death, no matter if it comes now or later, will have great meaning."

I puff air through my nose. "Imouto, huh."

He smiles again and closes his eyes.

"Your arm is damaged."

"Mere scratches," he says to me. "I deserve a bit of pain for my trouble, as you've said."

"Shut up. I'll clean your wounds."

He nods and holds out his arm. I take a few items out of my side pouch and kneel beside him to start working, spraying disinfectant on the cuts and scratches before working it in. Itachi is his quiet self, watching over Sasuke as the boy lies still.

"Done. You can get rid of those in a few hours."

"Understood." He flexes his arm and the fingers on his left hand.

"What do you mean to do after this?" I ask, putting my hands on my knees.

"If Sasuke should decide to spare me...I cannot stay in Akatsuki any longer. Mercenary work is not terribly difficult to come by these days, and I can subsist on a lower budget than I do now with the organization. Of course, I might very well be hunted...both by Pain and Madara, for differing reasons. Zetsu collects and disposes of the bodies of fallen members. He was and still is immensely bothered by the disappearances of Hidan and Kakuzu, not to mention Orochimaru before then."

"Orochimaru's secrets are in our possession. Ane-ue has the bodies of the other men...they may prove useful in the future. Who can say."

"Yes, that is true." He places a hand under his chin. "I considered staging my own death, but...Madara knows far too much, and would take pains to investigate. Hiding from him seems to be impossible. Or...I meant to say Obito, in that case. It might be best to remain active, as a menace to Akatsuki like Orochimaru was. There is an irony in following that man's path."

"What makes you say that?"

"He came after my eyes first."

"So...he saw your great ability and figured that Sasuke would do just as well. It makes sense."

"Yes. I didn't expect Sasuke to accept that power, and stopping Orochimaru would have been in my best interests. But there was too much work to be done on my end, and appearing too often would lessen my impact."

"You had a lot to consider, it seems."

"I don't expect you to feel sympathy for me."

"Nothing to worry about on that end," I say bluntly. "You're a complete idiot."

"Yes."

Sasuke starts to stir, and we get to our feet together. He shakes out his head before slowly rising. Hiruzen goes to his side for support.

"Thanks...thank you."

His eyes have changed. There's a pain...a sadness that wasn't there before. The anger has all but drained away. It's just one question that everyone can read from his expression.

Why?

"You...lied," he says quietly. "About everything. That I was weak...and worthless. That you killed Mom and Dad to test the limits of your strength. You lied to me about everything, up until this very moment."

"I did," Itachi says. "And I don't expect you to forgive me for any of it. I don't expect you to believe anything that I say from now on. I just want you to know that I love you, Sasuke. I always will. You...can take the next step. Close the loop for good."

"..."

"You were taught the Chidori...for the purpose of protecting your bonds. Weren't you?"

"How would you know that?"

"Kakashi and I were comrades, once upon a time. He told me that the Chidori, which evolved into the Lightning Edge, became complete because of Obito's Sharingan. The bond they had, as friends and comrades, gave him strength. Now you have that power, too. Make use of it as you please. I won't move an inch."

"..." Sasuke steps away from Hiruzen and makes a set of seals. Chidori flares to life in his left hand.

"Good. You've made your choice."

"..."

Idiots. Both of them.

Sasuke runs forward as Itachi closes his eyes. And then...

"Guh-!"

"You stupid asshole."

Sasuke pulls his fist from Itachi's stomach, watching as his older brother coughs loudly.

"Kill you? After what you showed me? After lying to me for all of these years? You think you can get away with dying peacefully, you bastard?"

"Sasuke..."

"You've just filled my head with more ridiculous questions. More than that...I can't just kill you now. You hurt me. You turned my life upside down, you made me into this...person. And I've been trying not to be that person completely. The power that Orochimaru promised was tempting, even though I knew it was nothing compared to Uchiha. I just wanted to kill you. Even though...I saw so many things."

"What...did you see?" Itachi asks as he catches his breath.

"You were crying that night. The moment you turned and left me. I wondered why, for so many years. But now I know why. Itachi...tell me."

"..."

"Was I really...worth that much?"

Itachi looks over to me and Hiruzen before answering.

"If...it meant erasing the entire village. I would do it to save you, Sasuke."

"More...than the village. Than the world..."

"..."

Sasuke sniffles, tears running down his face. "You couldn't tell me, could you...because I would have tried to stop you, and you couldn't afford that. You were distant from me because you were carrying that burden..."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke."

"Why didn't you just tell someone?" he asks.

"War was...something that I saw a glimpse of as a child. It was horrifying. I never wanted that to come to the Leaf. I never wanted to see that happen, and Father...he and the others were too far gone."

"The old man-"

"I know. You saw it. Sarutobi, as kind as he is...even he has his limits. And he might not have been able to spare you, no matter how hard he tried. I didn't trust anyone. I couldn't, because I felt this pain was unique to me. I didn't think anyone could understand, and I didn't want them to. Especially not you, Sasuke. I wanted you to come out of the trauma one day, with the power you gained from defeating me. You would be a hero. You would have the life that you deserved."

"While you died a traitor?" Sasuke yells back. "How is that fair?! You sacrificed for this village, you destroyed your own family, and for what? To die in the mud like a dog, at my feet?"

"Yes. That is what a shinobi does."

"You would say such a thing," I interrupt. "Do you still believe that, even now?"

"Those old visions...are starting to crumble."

"Hopefully that's the case. I would rather die a villain then live like a worthless mutt, licking at the feet of elders and begging for their scraps."

"I...I need to know," Sasuke says. "I don't understand why...for this village. Why you were so torn between that and the clan. Why you chose this path...why you chose to come back to me like this." He rubs at his face with his sleeve. "There's too much that doesn't make sense. That's why I won't kill you. You have to show me everything. Explain yourself, those memories you put in my head. Tell me what the Uchiha Clan was."

"There are things that I can teach you, but...not everything," Itachi says.

"I may have the answers that you seek," Hiruzen says. "Building a village and maintaining it...even in the best of times, it is far from a simple task. But the relationship between the Uchiha and the Leaf will surely provide insight to you, Sasuke."

"The Leaf...them." He turns to face Hiruzen. "You're complicit, too. You and your council of elders."

"..."

"Sasuke. You saw-"

"I know what I saw, big brother. I saw a bunch of outsiders deciding what our clan's fate should be, without consulting any of us in earnest. They even talked about wiping us out, with you right there, Itachi. And diplomacy? What diplomacy could quell the anger of the clan? The anger that forced Father to act in the way he did? Worst of all...worst of all, they let that murderer Danzo off with a slap on the wrist." Sasuke points at the old man. "You blame Itachi, but the blood of our brothers and sisters is all over your hands as well!"

The old man's face hardens.

"Sasuke...you are right to seek explanation from Itachi. Because you know nothing."

"You-"

"Be quiet as I speak. I am far from frail, young Uchiha."

The force behind Hiruzen's voice makes Sasuke fall silent.

"What Danzo did undermined my authority, and helped to create a great tragedy under my reign. I truly do wish that I could have acted sooner, and reached someone in time. But Itachi was right in that I could not guarantee your safety. And so, he took matters into his own hands, following Danzo's ultimatum. You may blame me all you like, Sasuke. But it does not change the fact that Itachi was the one who chose to join hands with the masked man and eliminate the members of the Uchiha Clan. Not me. I did not give such an order, and would have delayed it for as long as I could. I carry the weight of the massacre on my shoulders, because even though I was not directly responsible, it happened within the walls of my home, this village. But you will have to face the reality of the situation. That it was your older brother who has the blood of the Uchiha on his hands, that he spared you above all others, and that the village was ultimately spared a terrible fate because of what happened that night. If you want to know why, if you wish to understand how something like this could happen, then you will listen, and you will follow instructions as they are given to you."

"Is that a threat?" he snarls.

"It is a promise, Sasuke Uchiha. If you desire more freedom, you are within your rights to leave the village and discover things for yourself. You have my permission, and my encouragement," Hiruzen finishes firmly.

Now Sasuke backs all the way down, realizing the gravity of the situation. He slowly nods, and the intensity from around the old man fades off.

"You do not have the strength to take on Danzo, much less the fossils on the council," I say to Sasuke. "Whether it's physically or intellectually. Itachi kept you away for a reason, and did his best to keep Danzo off your back."

"As did Lili," Itachi adds in.

"Is that...why you were so desperate to stop me the other day?" he asks me.

"Yes, among other reasons."

"..."

"Sasuke, what is it you want to do?" Hiruzen asks. "If you don't know right now-"

"I want to know how everything started. And I want to know...who I am now. Avenging the clan...chasing after my brother. All of the suffering and sacrifice. I want to know who my father really was. I want to learn about my older brother, and what he did in his time away. I don't...want to be a child any longer." He looks over to the old man. "I can't stay in the village forever. I need to see the places that Itachi saw for myself. We have different...pairs of eyes."

"I see. Itachi, what say you?"

"..." Itachi looks down at his younger brother and thinks for a moment. "It will help keep him away from Danzo."

I shake my head.

"Is that all you're worried about?" Sasuke asks.

"No. But it's the biggest issue. Lili is more equipped to deal with it than either of us."

"What does that mean? You're saying she's stronger than you? Than the old man?"

"Who can say for sure? But success as a shinobi is about far more than battle strength, Sasuke. That is why you could not defeat me."

"..."

"But you will surpass me one day."

"Don't coddle me-"

"I chose you to avenge the clan by killing me. Do you understand what that means, Sasuke?"

"Of course I don't! You're too goddamn cryptic!"

"Hm." Itachi smiles and reaches for Sasuke's forehead. With two fingers outstretched, he gives him a light poke.

Sasuke's eyes widen and he freezes in place.

"You'll figure it out soon enough. I have to get back now. Next time...Sasuke."

"I'll have the rendezvous point ready for you," Hiruzen says.

"Many thanks."

"Wait...wait!"

Itachi stops and turns from the door.

"I might...change my mind. I might decide that it's too much, and that I'll kill you when we're alone. What then?" Sasuke asks.

"I have already made my peace with that, Sasuke. I know what I did wrong before. I didn't trust you, or anyone else. That changes now. And no matter what you do, no matter what path you choose...you will always be my little brother. And I will love you forever."

"Itachi..."

"Good night, everyone."

Itachi pulls his hood over his head, opens the door, and leaves with barely a sound.

"I suspect you two will need some time alone," I say. "I'm going to head out. Give me a call if anything comes up."

"Of course. Take care, Lili."

I slip outside and take a deep breath in. The night air is cool and refreshing.

More important than that, Itachi's chakra is idle.

"..."

I move in his direction and find myself in a small circle of trees. He drops down from ahead of me and pulls back his hood again.

"You had something you forgot to say."

"Something like that."

I walk closer to him and stop, looking up at him with my hands behind my back. The moonlight streams through the trees, illuminating us both.

"So? What is it?"

"I didn't want to make Sasuke upset. So I held off on it until now."

"I have to wonder what wouldn't make that boy upset, when it came to us. Surely the memories he saw would make him jealous enough."

"Maybe."

"By the by, you did make an interesting little quip about correcting matters, by which you must mean placating me in some fashion. It takes quite a bit to buy me off, you understand."

"Yes."

"And calling me your little sister. I'm sure that was good for a chuckle or two at my expense, yes? Listen, all of your-"

He reaches down and picks me up. Our faces are level now.

"Eh. What's this all about..."

"..."

I frown. "Oi. Don't go quiet on me so suddenly...ah."

"Thank you, Lili. For everything. I know that words would never be enough."

"..."

I can only feel warmth as he holds me against him, my head resting gently on his shoulder. A smile comes to my lips, and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"You are more than worth it, Itachi."

I remember what I said to myself, back then. And every time since then.

What the world thinks...what it believes. None of that matters.

In my heart, he will always be precious to me. Someone worth living and dying for, if it comes to that.

Someone deserving of love, and deserving of a better world.

I hold to him and his warmth, under the moon's glow, and the watchful eye of heaven.

"Shit. This early?"

I grumble and get my arms out from beneath my bed sheets. The phone receiver is ice cold against my ear.

"Hello."

"Miss Kobayashi, very sorry to disturb you at this hour. You have a call from the office of Lord Hokage."

"Put him through, thank you."

"Of course. A moment, please."

"Hello, Lili."

"Hello yourself, ossan. It's four in the morning, you realize."

"Yes. Someone requests your company for a meeting."

"Who?" I ask groggily.

"Sasuke. He couldn't sleep and came to me with this request."

"You have to be fucking joking."

"I believe he wants to make peace with you, in some way. But I would greatly appreciate it if you accepted his request, and gave him someone to speak to in a vulnerable time."

I growl before letting out a heavy sigh. "Fine. Where is he?"

"Outside of the office waiting. I didn't want to put any extra pressure on you."

"Oh, a fine job you've done of that. Fucking hell. I'll be there in twenty minutes at the latest."

"Thank you, Lili. You'll be repaid in time."

"Yes, surely. I'll see you later." I set down the phone and rub at my eyes. "Absolute bullshit. No goddamned way should I be going out in this hour and..."

"Lili...?"

"Emergency meeting," I say to Fio as she stirs. "Go back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure. Don't worry about it too much...I'd rather not leave, but you know how work is."

"Yeah..."

I stroke her head gently and she eventually falls back asleep.

"..."

I have to wonder what that trash wants with me all of a sudden. Making peace? Fuck him. I could care less about that. But the old man wants me to be there for him...and I don't want to waste Itachi's gift to us. This is well within my power.

I take a quick shower to refresh myself, find a comfy pair of underwear, and then put on a red tracksuit over it. That should keep out the morning cold and shove down my absolute irritation at being awake at this hour. I find my pair of outdoor slippers and step into them, make sure I have my key card and wallet, and then leave the room quietly.

"..."

I feel better as I walk. Itachi and Hiruzen really did read me like a book earlier...I've been irritated and nervous, my emotions bouncing around while trying to solve all of these problems before I leave the village. The annoyance of Sasuke, then that high of being held in Itachi's arms. Enough to make a woman lose her marbles, that kind of emotional whiplash.

"I wonder when those men got so bold around me," I say to myself. "But then...I don't exactly hate it. Which is annoying in its own way."

This is more of that childhood dysfunction bubbling up, isn't it. Daddy issues, as Ino might say. Maybe I should consider sorting it all out with someone, some day.

"There she is."

Hiruzen makes a hand signal from behind Sasuke, and I glance to one side. I subtly sign back, and he nods. One angel, then. More than enough for an early morning chat.

"Lili has had a long day already, so remember to be patient with her, Sasuke."

"Yeah. Thank you."

The old man pats his shoulders, and he walks to my side. I give Sasuke a look before starting off, and I hear him follow behind me. Our ANBU guardian follows expeditiously through the shadows.

We enter a certain restaurant, with wooden chairs and some sort of repurposed bamboo making up tables. The booths are the usual leather and I slide into one, with Sasuke taking the opposite side. The night manager emerges in her coveralls and puts two menus on the table, along with empty glasses and a pitcher of water. She leaves shortly after.

"Didn't say a word to us."

"And what?" I reply to Sasuke.

"You're usually supposed to greet your guests."

"It's four in the morning. Anyone working at this hour could give a fuck about your precious courtesy. You surely didn't have mine in mind when you forced me out of my bed."

He glowers at me but says nothing.

Our hostess comes back. "What can I get you, hon?"

"Two omurice. Green tea," I say.

"Got it." She leaves again.

"You didn't ask me what I wanted," Sasuke complains.

"That's because I don't give a fuck."

"What the hell is your-"

"You. You're my problem. Do you understand that? If you do, then shut up."

I pour myself a glass of water and drink it down to half.

"Take a few minutes to find your balls, and then you can tell me why you had me dragged out of bed," I say to him.

"I wanted to smooth things over. Now I'm not so sure."

"Good. I didn't want to hear your nonsense anyways. Smooth things over?" I let out a derisive laugh. "The bridges have been well and thoroughly burned, just piles of ash now. Fuck yourself."

"I'm trying..." He scratches at his head. "Listen. I'm sorry for pulling you out of bed, okay? I just...needed to get this off my chest. I needed to talk to you about...everything that's happened."

I cross my arms and relax. "Fine. Apology accepted."

"Thanks."

"You don't have to make any decisions related to that man right away, just so you know. But when you're ready, go ahead and tell me what's on your mind. Whatever it might be, even if it's chaotic. You're going through a lot right now. Your world is being turned upside down again, even if it is for the best."

"..."

"Don't rush yourself."

He nods and takes a breath in.

"There were a lot of things that happened between us. When I...hurt you at the Academy. I saw myself falling behind. And I got scared. I got angry, at you, at Itachi, at everything. I thought you were mocking me, but at the same time I could hear his voice, too. I could see his eyes in yours. There's no...excuse for it. I hated you back then. I don't really like you now. But what I did was wrong, and I...I'm sorry."

I nod to let him know he can keep speaking.

"But you reached my brother, somehow. The same way you must have reached Naruto. And Gaara. And inspired a bunch of other people. I was jealous of you for a while. I felt inadequate. Useless. And Sakura...I wanted to push Sakura away, but she wouldn't let me go. And I didn't have the courage to use her up and throw her away. I...like her. But I don't know how to express it. I don't know if I should. She's a good person, better than I am. But I also know that...Naruto gave up on pulling her away a long time ago. It was never about her. It was about me. Bonding with me, of all people. All of that scared me. I didn't want to lose it all again. I didn't want to see the people I...came to love all die. Kakashi should have been able to relate to me. But maybe not. I don't know. I don't know a lot of things. Sorry."

"You're fine," I say.

"Am I?"

"You are. I have something to say...if you want to hear it."

"Go ahead."

"When we were in the valley...I told you that I also understood what pain was. What it meant to lose someone precious to you."

"I remember that conversation. What...did you mean by that?"

"The woman who gave birth to me, my first mother...she died when I was younger. Before I came to this continent. It was an illness that destroyed her over the space of a month. I watched her dying, and then I watched her die."

"Watched...?"

"I woke up in her arms and watched her take her last breaths."

"To have bonds severed violently...and feel helpless as they fall apart. I...see now. I can understand...that feeling," he says.

"My father never loved me. But your brother told me that your father was proud of you. He loved you up until the very end of his life...even asking for your protection as his final wish. But even a father who never loves you is still connected in some way...and so, cutting apart those bonds is also painful. To destroy who you thought of as family in order to save another."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It was my hand that brought down my father. Because he threatened everyone and everything I cared for. In his last moments of life, unlike Fugaku who laid himself down with dignity...he cursed me once more instead."

"..."

"Most would call this life of mine a cursed existence, and curl themselves into a ball, waiting for death. But it is because of the bonds that you once called useless that I am here in front of you. Bonds can cause pain. Sometimes they are cruel, harsh things. But they are also the source of our strength. The reasons we fight for tomorrow. The reasons we live. You didn't want to fight and kill Itachi...did you."

"I..."

"You didn't want to do just that. You wanted more than that. To feel, and to understand. To know why your brother acted the way he did. And now that you know some of the reasons why, you still seethe with anger. Only this time, it is towards the village that brought your precious older brother to ruin."

I pause and wait for our hostess to set down our plates and teacups. We exchange nods, and she heads back behind the counter again.

"You can work alone, like you want to. Become a far-off agent of the Leaf like your brother. Whether you are physically here or not does not matter. I know that you will not change much from where you are now. You have your pride. You are stubborn. Foolish. The logic you use manifests in my mind as incomprehensible nonsense. The world accepts it however, and for daily living, that is what matters."

"Lilith...I don't understand."

"Don't understand what?"

"I just...with all the things you've said...why are you helping me? Is it because you see yourself in me?"

"No. I could never."

He looks at me, confused.

"Too many people in this world have been scarred by their circumstances. Too many have been hurt, by things that are beyond their control. I will never forget what you did to me. I will never forget the trouble and pain that you caused me. How you scarred me, how you sent me tumbling into darkness. I was so scared and alone. But this, this moment...this isn't for Naruto, or Sakura, or Kakashi. It isn't for the Hokage, or Imari, or Tamaki. It isn't for Itachi. I want to do this. I want to try...because you are a part of my life now. And I couldn't live with myself if I just watched someone I knew struggle and drown in front of me."

"..."

"I rise above myself to help you...because you are a human being. And no matter who you are, or what you have done...you too deserve the love of heaven. This grace is what I give to you, from my own heart. You don't need to thank me. You don't need to love me. What you need to do is take this second chance, and find yourself. That...is what it means for you to live well."

I pick up my fork and dig into my omurice.

"Eat before it gets cold, Sasuke."

He nods and starts eating.

We finish after a while, with only the sounds of cutlery and cups between us. I leave the payment and a tip for our hostess, then we make our way out into the dawn light.

"I forgot I had training today."

"You don't," I say to him. "Imari already knows."

"..."

"What is it?"

"All I have to do is...keep living. Is that it?"

"The instructions are simple. Carrying them out is the hard part. You will have bad days. But not just bad days. Remember that."

"I'll...try to. Thanks for listening to me, Lilith."

"Yes. You're welcome, Sasuke. Safe travels."

The ANBU from earlier appears and starts to escort Sasuke home. I walk in the other direction, knowing that I won't be able to sleep for a few hours more.

Sasuke really is an irritating brat. The things I do for love.

"There's a bath house very close by...definitely open. Guess I can soak a little before going back..."

I put my hands into my pockets, and start a leisurely walk through the Hidden Leaf.