Scarlet Justice: Full Blossom – ep. 54
"Endeavour"
[Glass Hearts, Part 3]

One of the many issues that comes from dealing with intense emotions is the need to centre one's self afterwards. Sometimes that can be a long process, and it makes the feeling of a time crunch more prominent, even if it turns out that crunch is a figment of your imagination. I have been away from the village for nearly a month and a half now. It feels like there are too many things to do, and that my lead weighed body is moving too slowly.

Confronting the memories of my father has been an ongoing process. Now that I don't have Sozen in front of me, I can figure things out at my own speed. But it still feels like something that takes too long, and hurts too much. I will myself to move anyway. Meandering routes through the countryside, moving towards home again. Just myself and the rustling of the leaves in the trees. The letter goes off to Aiko, along with my prayers. I stop at another station to gather paperwork and send a message off to Anko, requesting an update on her investigation so far. Getting a reply back the next day, I note that things have slowed on her side, but it was also something that I was predicting given how Akatsuki is constructed. There are frequent complaints going around the management layer, as the upper reaches of the organization don't communicate with them often. When there is something said, it's often vague or seemingly aimless, and sometimes what are seen as mediocre results are praised for advancing the organization's goals. The pay and job security, along with the accommodations, are enough to retain most of the staff, and those that leave or are incapacitated seem to be easily replaced. Anko says that she has yet to be noticed by anyone with significant power in the organization, and there's a very clear ceiling between the so called executives and the core group, run by that Pain person and managed by Obito from the shadows.

As a result, there's not much that she can currently give me that will provide a great breakthrough. I send back a request for as much operating data as she can safely give me, as she is working with someone at the top of one of Akatsuki's many subsidiaries. My goal is to figure out something from the negative space in said data, or in other words, what is not being spoken to us directly. If we can gain something from that, then we'll be on our way. Fire Country is one of the spaces that Akatsuki doesn't travel much due to Obito's deal with Itachi, but given that the latter has submitted a sudden resignation, I don't know how much longer that deal will last. Especially if Obito has control of one or more tailed beasts at this point.

Aside from the Akatsuki investigation, I do paperwork remotely. It's mostly to keep myself busy, something that will keep me from sinking into those bad thoughts constantly. Thankfully, they become more manageable as I get closer and closer to the village itself. I wonder if I should take some time off to rest after this...I was officially on a long mission, so nobody would be suspicious. I also spend some time compiling more detailed notes for Hiruzen, which will naturally be classified once I hand them off. There is a lot to do. I have to talk with Naruto about his parents...and I wonder how he will take it. How angry he might be, with me and everyone else. I don't see how I could blame him for feeling that way. What could I do for him? I don't know yet. I just know that I can't keep putting it off for much longer. We were going to create our new technique together, so...perhaps then.

I walk all the way to the village today, as it isn't terribly far from the last relief station I was checked into. The large and familiar front gates come into view, and eventually I end up before the guards on duty. They salute me and I salute back before handing them my identification.

"Thank you, ma'am. Welcome back to the village," one says to me with another salute.

"Thank you." I shoulder my bag and walk past them, going down the main road. The office should be my first stop...

"There she is."

I've barely crossed the entrance before I hear a familiar voice. Two people land in front of me, and then I'm smothered in a hug before I can do anything else. I manage to overcome my surprise and hug Fio back.

"It's been a while," Hina says to me. "We were worried...you weren't checking in with Fio like you usually do. So I decided that I would look out for you each day until you made it back."

"I suppose it was a lot," I reply. "I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be. You remember that I can see quite far with these eyes of mine," she says with a smile. "A little bit of back and forth travel is all that I need."

"I remember. I'm still sorry for worrying you both. And everyone else, I assume."

"You can tell us what happened in a bit. Let's get you somewhere comfortable before any busybodies come around. Follow me."

I nod and Fio takes my hand gently. We both silently follow Hina as she heads towards one of the establishments that members of Hyuuga like to frequent. After a quick conversation with one of the hostesses, Hina gets our group a closed off section with lovingly decorated tables and chairs. Hot cups of tea are brought to us as we seat ourselves.

"We will be having today's house specialty, if you would be so kind," Hina says to our hostess. "Thank you for quickly accommodating us."

"Think little of it, Lady Hyuuga. It's the least we could do for you and your esteemed guests. I will return shortly with your offerings, and I hope you enjoy what we have prepared for you."

She bows before heading off to the kitchen.

"I suppose...I should tell you about my recent silence," I say to Hina and Fio. "Things did start well enough, as you know. It was when I was nearly back in this country that I had a certain encounter, and it ended up shaking me more than I want to admit."

"Akatsuki?" Fio asks.
"Not them, no. Someone who had a more personal connection...to someone I care for, and to me, in too many ways. Sozen Uchiha."

"Another Uchiha. Oh...I understand now," Hina says. "That person is Aiko's father...so he was alive all of this time. Oh, Lili."

"It must have pulled up all of those terrible memories from when you and your father..." Fio trails off. "I can't imagine what you must have been going through, facing him. Did he try to hurt you?"

"He was a coward through and through. Hardly able to defend himself. All he wanted was to see Aiko again, and...after so many days and nights, fighting my urges and impulses, weighing the decision inside of my head, I...eventually gave in. By now, he and Aiko must have met. I sent her a letter detailing his intentions."

"Tamaki was holding onto a letter for you, from the Sand. It came in about two or so days ago," Fio says. "Guessing it's probably from Aiko."

"She would be right to be furious with me."

"I don't think she could be," Hina says. "What you did was very brave, Lili. You weren't at fault, and you gave a father and daughter one more chance to reach each other. It's like what you did for me. You remember, don't you?"

"Even if Hiashi hurt you, he...had his eye on you the entire time. And he didn't torment you every night, or purposefully throw you into despair. He was wrong for what he did, but he pushed you with the best of intentions, hoping that you would eventually grow. He never abandoned you, or treated you like trash, or...called you a mistake. You were still his daughter. That's why it was so much easier. This...I still don't know how I feel, even now. All of the aggression and pain, all of the retribution I could ever deliver, it wouldn't stop these thoughts from coming into my head. I'm sorry again for not speaking to you about it, I just needed some time alone."

"You are not at fault, Lili. It's okay," Hina repeats. "We understand that you needed some time alone. What matters is that you're here again with us, and we can take care of you properly."

"There's lots to do, but you shouldn't burn yourself out. You must have been doing work while trying to clear your head," Fio says. I nod to confirm her thoughts. "That's just like you, hehe. Don't worry, things are still okay in the village. We just need you to take a break, Lili. And I guess I'm feeling a bit selfish, and want you all to myself besides that. I want us to spend a few days doing nothing."

"Maybe...that's the right thing to do."

"I think so. While we're here...would you tell us about what happened? I think that going over it in a safe place like this will help you a lot. Is it okay?" she asks gently.

"It's more than okay. I can tell you what happened..."

"And if it gets to be too much, we'll make you stop," Hina says. "You've been through enough." She reaches for my hand across the table, and I place it in hers. Fio takes my other hand and squeezes it gently.

"I'll stop if either of you tells me to. I promise."

We get our plates of spicy-sweet chicken and rice a few minutes later, then eat quietly together. I end up finishing first and start to tell my story. I tell Hina and Fio everything, about what I was thinking and feeling the first time I saw Sozen, about what I did to him and made him do, about the rage that continued to fill my entire being, right up until the last conversation.

"At least in the end, he really did want to see his daughter again," Hina says once I finish. "Maybe that level of cowardice can be forgiven. I don't know how I would feel about it. But you understood that the most important part...was the fact that he tried, and eventually overcame the fear that made him run away in the first place."

"What he did to Aiko was awful, but he took responsibility for everything he did," Fio says. "I think that giving him another chance was for the best, and that she'll be grateful for it."

"I hope so. I don't regret anything that I did, I just feel...tired, I suppose. I haven't had much energy since that time, even if I have been getting better."

"You have been through a lot, more than most people could handle. And you did have a long trip before that. I think it's best that you take a week or two off to rest, like Fio mentioned earlier. Then perhaps we can have lunch with the other girls and ease you back into things," Hina says to me. "I know that you badly want to get back to speed, but I don't think it's a good idea right now. Please rest for us, Lili."

Fio nods at that. "If it were anyone else, we could take turns keeping you in bed all day. But you have a way of getting what you want, no matter what we do. So...it's better for us to make you promise."

"I promise," I say sincerely. "I won't do anything until you both say that it's okay."

"Thank you, Lili."

We finish our tea, and Hina leaves a gratuity for our hostess before we get up to leave. The warmth of the afternoon sun is finally reaching me after what feels like forever.

"I'll leave you two to take care of things from here," Hina says as we clear the entrance. "Be safe, and call me if you have need of anything."

"We'll remember, Hina. Thanks so much," Fio says. Hina hugs her before taking both of my hands.

"Lili. Remember that you have me, whenever you need me. I'll call every morning to check in, until I'm sure that you're better."

"I'll be waiting then. Thank you, Hina. I love you very much."

"Not as much as I love you," she says with a smile. We kiss each other on the cheeks before hugging each other tightly. I almost don't want to let go. "Go home with your lovely wife and rest. I'll talk to you soon."

Hina rubs my cheek gently before leaving.

"You have a place to drop off your mission stuff?" Fio asks me.

"It's the usual place..." I reach for the scrolls in my pocket and hand them to Fio. "I'll probably be in the bath when you get back."

"No worries. Take your time and everything. We're gonna go and see Auntie Tsuna tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit."

She nods before taking off. I try to rub some of the exhaustion away from my eyes before going across town, towards the hotel. After greeting the people at the front desk, I head upstairs, slide my key card through the reader, and then enter my room again. It's just as I left it, a welcoming sight. I'm tempted to fall into my bed and sleep, but I know that I have to take a bath or else I'll feel awful the rest of the day.

By the time I've finished cleaning off, I can hear the room door open and close.

"I'm back!"

"Welcome home," I call back to Fio.

"Everything okay?"

"I was just about to get into the bath...everything is fine, more or less." I get into the hot water and sigh with relief. Feels really good. Definitely needed this.

"Alright. I'll be with you in just a second."

"Did you want me to make room for you?"

"Nope, don't worry about that. Just checking in."

I close my eyes and put my arms on the sides of the tub, doing my best to relax. There's the sound of footsteps and the sound of a chair being set down next to me. I open one eye to see Fio reach for my head, rubbing it gently.

"You look a bit better," she says.

"I feel a bit better now. A lot better since coming in earlier today, overall. Thank you, both of you, for coming out to see me. I always think that I can deal with these things on my own, and maybe I can...but it's far better to have people I love to talk to."

"Yeah, always." She puts her hands in her lap. "Lili, I know that you're exhausted. And there's a good reason for that, one that you've probably pushed aside because of how you are. What you did, when you met with Sozen...that took a lot of energy. You probably feel weak, maybe a little frightened that you're feeling this low. I get it. But that's okay, because what you did was extraordinary."

"Do you think so?"

"More than think. I know so. You had to relive that terrible trauma all over again, something that you told me nearly broke you into pieces. You hurt because of what Sozen did to his daughter, someone that you loved, and fought, and sacrificed for. To deal with that pain all over again is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, and I don't blame you one bit for being as angry and as vengeful as you were. Even if you ended up taking his life...nobody else would need to know, and it might have been well deserved for those awful things."

"I see."

"There was so much tormenting you in those moments. And you made a choice, the right choice. You gave that man another chance to see the person he loved so much, to make amends with her. Even as much as you hated him, and didn't think he deserved it, even with those terrible memories taking over your mind. He fought against his own fear for a chance to see Aiko again, and you fought against the pain in your heart, all of the darkness, to give him that chance. To do more than just offer a prayer, but give two people a chance for a miracle."

I hadn't thought of it that way at all. But then, I hadn't thought much of anything these past few days.

"You were truly benevolent, Lili. Maybe the world would say that you're not a good person, because of how violent you can be, because you don't hold back against people you don't like. But you've said it time and time again, that you don't need to be a good person to be good to people. And you did so much good for that man. You've done good over and over again, even when it hurt so much."

"Like with Sasuke," I say.

"Like with Sasuke. He hurt you, he ran away from the village, he even tried to kill you. And yet you showed him mercy, over and over."

"I did."

"What you did really was fantastic, and I'm not just saying it to make you feel better. I believe it, and I believe that it makes you the best person to change this world and lead it into the future," Fio says. "Someone who can look beyond themselves, and their own feelings, in order to see justice done. It won't be this hard again. You won't have to deal with someone who so perfectly, so mercilessly hits every one of your triggers at once."

"Do you think...maybe this was a test?"

"Something to measure the strength of your resolve, and love for this world. I think so. I think there was more meaning to that encounter than you could have realized at the time. And I don't think it was a matter of simply passing or failing, like some would reason."

"A choice for the future of this world, and...what kind of person I would like to be. I really do want to break the chains of this world, forever," I say as I lift a hand from the water.

"To give the gift of possibility to all living beings," Fio finishes.

"Like I gave to Aiko. The chance to choose...to decide whether she wanted to make that person whole again. On a small scale, I was able to see past what I wanted. If...in the midst of that pain, I could do something like that..."

"Then you can do anything you set your mind to."

"It won't be that hard again." I splash water onto my face. "You sound so sure."

"If I'm wrong, then I'll take responsibility. I'm going to be your beloved wife one day, right?"

I look up at Fio, with her bright smile. The warmth inside of my heart gives me the strength to smile back, as I wanted.

"That's right. But I trust in your predictions, and in my own strength. If I can find mercy in my heart for those I despise, then it should be a simple task to correct the petulant children that call themselves the lords of this shinobi world."

"There's the Lili I love hearing!"

"I'll be back to full strength soon enough at this rate. I really did need to hear those words. Thank you, Fio."

"Nothing to it. You said that you couldn't change the world alone, and I took those words to heart. Even if it's just with the words from my soul, I'll be here for you every step of the way. I made that promise to myself, just as you promised to be my home on earth."

"I still can't thank you enough for your encouragement."

"Heh. Being my super hot girlfriend is more than enough."

"You would say something like that. And of course, you're welcome."

Fio chuckles a bit while getting up. "I'm gonna leave you to relax a bit longer. If you need anything, just shout. Oh, and I picked up that letter from Tamaki for you. We can read it together, when you're ready."

"Alright. I think I'll do that before the end of the night."

"Got it. See you in a bit, Lili." She rubs my head gently again before picking up the chair and leaving. I sink a bit further into the water, letting the heat soak into me.

It was frightening for a little while, but thanks to my loved ones...I'm on my way again.

"Just a second!"

Fio heads to the door as a set of polite knocks reaches us. I've finished my bath and a bit of extra grooming before changing into my pyjamas for the rest of the evening. She ordered some food for us from the service menu in the meantime.

"Thanks much~! Here's something from the road, from us! Take care, okay?"

Something just a bit indulgent for tonight: hamburgers with toasted buns and a variety of toppings, a basket of curly fries, and some soda.

"Aw, yeah. I like the look of this," Fio says while rubbing her hands together. We sit down next to each other at the table.

"Indeed. It's what ladies truly desire in life," I say before biting into my meal. "Mm."

"That's a burger, alright. Chefs downstairs are always on their game."

"Mm-hm."

We quietly enjoy the rest of our food together, and once everything is gone and our glasses are drained, we lie across our bed next to each other for a while.

"Still feeling okay?" Fio asks.

"I'm okay. I should be able to have a good night's rest, especially with you next to me," I reply.

"Before you think about turning in...did you want to crack open that letter? No pressure, remember."

I close my eyes and think on it for a bit before nodding. "Let's do it, then. I feel nervous, but it's something that I have to do. I just hope she isn't too hurt by what happened."

Fio rubs my shoulder before getting up. I hear her come back and I sit up while opening my eyes. She crosses her legs and sits next to me, with the letter in her hands.

"Ready?"

"I'm ready," I say. She takes the letter out and hands it to me, shuffling closer so that she can see for herself. I unfold it and let out a breath before starting to read.

Dear Lili,

I hope this message finds you well.

I got your letter the other day. And you were right. It was a terrible shock to me. I couldn't eat or sleep properly for several days, I was so anxious and hurt. I didn't know what to feel about the news that my dad was alive, and that he wanted to see me. I didn't tell anyone, not even Makoto. All I did was ask her to come with my on the day I met with him.

When we did meet, he didn't say the right things. And that allowed all of the anger I was holding in to explode out of me. It made me change. If not for Makoto, I don't know what I would have done to my dad. I don't know if I could have stopped myself. But somehow I did, and once the anger faded, all I could do was cry. I was so lost, so hurt. I didn't know what to do.

Dad told me everything. About how he heard what happened with Sasori, and found out the truth of the night that Mom died protecting the village. About how he sought you out, not only to thank you for avenging Mom, but to ask for one last chance to see me. He didn't go into details about what happened, but I understand. It must have been terrible for you, to see someone who reminded you of the terrible pain that you went through, to experience it all over again. But you gave my dad another chance, and he used it as best as he could.

It still hurts, remembering what he put me through. I very nearly lost control of myself. But I've always, always loved him, and to hear from me that he loves me too, to know that he fought against his own fear and self-loathing to come back to me, it means more than I could ever express. I know that one day soon, I will be able to forgive him in full. And for now, I can be happy that I have him back in my life. First you gave Mom a chance to hold me again, to speak to me in this world. And now, you've given me my Dad back, who I thought I would never see again, even as much as I hoped we would find a way to meet. You have given me so much, and in such a short time. I know I said that I would do whatever it took for your sake before, but I mean it more than ever now. I will fight the entire world for you, I will spill every drop of my blood for you, I will do anything you ask, even if it means that I die. You gave me my family back, you gave me everything back, and I know that I can't ever repay you properly for that, but I can always try. Thank you for everything you've done, Lili. I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you again. I'll be praying for you, just as you did for me.

Your forever friend, with all of her love,

- Aiko Mishoto

"Lili?"

"I'm...really not okay," I say with a small laugh. I fold up the letter and put it to the side before wiping at my tears. "She's too sweet for someone like me, you know?"

"You did real good, hon. I'm so, so proud of you."

"Aiko...she's happy. She has her family again." I sniffle. "Even if it's just one person, it makes me feel good to know that they can have that back..."

"You're more of a miracle worker than you realize sometimes. Maybe all the time, hehe. After all, you're the woman that can do anything."

"Thank you for being here to remind me of that, Fio."

"Like I said, it's what I promised to do. Forever and always."

Fio sets the letter on the nearby nightstand, and then pulls me into her arms as she lies down. I close my eyes and let her warmth take me away.

For the first time in a while, I feel like myself again. And I've managed to give another loved one something precious. These are the moments that help keep me going, and remind me what I'm fighting for.

A world that goes beyond peace and individual happiness. I want to build a world where were we can truly reach each other, and every possibility that we strive for.