The tone of the figure sounded very sisterly, almost like the figure had been worried about Beck coming to the party. It made me pause my approach. If the figure in the car was worried about wolves, would they make a move to harm me? I was very clearly on team wolf, and I was not sure of what team Beck represented.
"You don't have to worry about me, Bella. I would never hurt you." The figure called out to me.
"Shut up. This is why you scare humans." Beck scolded
"Shit, okay, I fucked up. Random lady following Beck, be not afraid." The figure giggled "Beck, I have been watching too many reruns of Clone Wars, that was straight up Jedi mind tricks" the figure laughed.
"Sit down in the car, and stop talking." Beck scolded. She turned to me, clearly seeing the hesitancy in my eyes "Bella, don't be afraid of me or my lunatic nerd in the car. Just because the council doesn't want to recognize facts, does not mean that she is evil." Beck looked into the forest one last time before climbing into the car.
The figure raised their hand out the sunroof and waved goodbye to me. Until Beck forced their hand back into the car. I stood at the side of the house dumbfounded until warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me protectively into his side.
Chapter 30: Strong as Glass
As Always Happy Reading
I felt his mouth press against the top of my head. I leaned further into his side, using him as a momentary crutch. Today had been long, a mixture of difficult emotions and hollow introductions.
My soul begged that I did not have to return to the party. One more glare from a person who thought I shouldn't have been invited was the cherry to top my existence. Worse, the people at the party who voiced my deepest desire of staying into a reasonable expectation.
Not that I could truly blame them for their glares and hopeful expressions. With Rebecca it had felt normal for a moment. Almost like it did when I was spending time with the pack. It was simply that, with the rest of the town, it felt like they could see through me. If I grew up here, would I have glared at the missing daughter, only appearing for a wedding? Maybe.
"Rebecca hasn't been back in a while" Sam sighed.
His voice held more anxiety and stress than I had heard in it. I wanted to put that tone as far from his voice as possible. Turning in his arms, I pulled myself impossibly closer to him, until I was unable to feel where my body began and Sam's ended.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have pulled you away from Charlie's party."
Guilt overwhelmed me at the thought. Sam had responsibilities here, I couldn't be a distraction to him. When I leave, his life will be much smoother. Sam deserves a smoother life, he didn't ask to be forced into my crazy existence.
"Pull me away anytime. I would rather be spending time with you anyway. Even if the boys had a running bet to get me to do a keg stand." Sam chuckled as he kissed my hair.
"Sam, I want to go home" I whispered to him.
In this short amount of time spent in the overcast that was La Push, I had come to feel more at home then I had in my entire existence back with Renee. It was one of the main reasons I knew I had to leave here, or forever be changed.
Squeezing back into my meek existence under Renees roof would be difficult now. If I spent more time here, I would never be able to fit back into the mold. Instead, I would be forced to break the mold and, in turn, myself. Returning now, I hoped that my body would not break as I squeezed into my former flesh.
Without words, Sam scooped me up, embracing me as we ventured through the forest. If I had attempted this walk alone I would have been lost. Yet, the forest offered Sam a familiarity that I was not ashamed to be openly jealous of. Maybe years from now I would be able to show him how the back alleys and slums of Phoenix did the same for me.
I relaxed into him, not realizing the stress the party had placed on my shoulders. It was not a superficial sort of tired that a nap might cure. Instead, being shown consistently that I was an outsider due to the location of my upbringing, caused a bone-deep exhaustion. Conversations that should have been so familiar they would have been scripted niceties at this point, had etched rivers within my bones. Each person at the party had taken a piece of me, like I was a commodity about to be discontinued.
It was a possibility that the people at the party knew something I had not. Even without the information that Sam had chosen me as his imprint, it must have been clear to the Elders that I was a passing affair. Thinking back on the party, none of the Elders present seemed to pay me any attention. Instead, their focus had been on Leah. I smashed the jealousy that threatened to stop my heart, at the realization that I wanted to be a member of the greater community. Yet, I was walking away from Sam who, as the party made clear, was my only ticket into the acceptance of the community.
The air changed as we ventured into the house. Instead of fresh moss coated air, this space spelled like the spice I distinctly associated with Sam. His musk was a deep cinnamon that someone had lit on fire. It burned my nose with its intensity, almost as fast as it comforted my soul.
Sam placed me down on the kitchen island, slowly and gently disconnecting us until he turned, gathering an assortment of foods from the fridge and cupboards. I did not watch what he gathered, instead I was intently focused on a vein that seemed to be bulging on the side of his neck.
I had spent the majority of my days here trying to memorize everything about the man moving in front of me. I was sure this was the first time I had seen this vein. It stood strong against his neck. It pulsed slowly, as if it was the physical manifestation of something that was bothering him.
Every fibre in my being wanted me to reach out to Sam, comfort him until the vein subsided. That, however, would be cruel for me to do. I wanted to cause the least amount of pain for Sam. Having him become reliant on me when he is stressed, is something I can not have happen. It is something I would have desperately strived to do, if I was staying in La Push. The desire to be and do everything for this fantastic man was as clear to me as the passing seasons.
It, however, was not in my control to stay. Staying would kill Renee.
Sam turned to me. I caught a glimpse of pain in his expression before it was quickly masked with a shy smile. In his hand he held a charcuterie board. He reached around my waist with his other hand, scooping me onto his hip with a confident movement. I giggled as he held me this way.
The child in my mind remembered wanting Renee to hold her when she was small. Seeing the other moms picking up their toddlers. Each time I asked, Renee would remind me I had to learn to walk on my own, if I was going to survive.
Over the years I had suppressed the desire to be held and comforted like a child, simply because I knew no one would have the strength or the desire to accommodate me in this way.
We walked into a room I had not yet ventured into. Just off the side of the house was a small covered porch. It did not look like it was designed, as the back deck had been, to accommodate the pack. This space spoke of intimate conversations amongst family.
Sam placed the charcuterie board on a low table in the middle of the space. Slowly he lowered us to a soft rug that seemed to be made from animal skin. The soft hide provided excellent insulation against the cold deck boards. Sam held me close between his legs, almost like he knew that what we had was only temporary happiness. I was not going to protest leaning closer into him. I let myself relax, and deeply breathed in the scent of him.
I closed my eyes, feeling content and loved in my mate's arms. Feeling his arms move at my side, I ignored the curious desire to open my eyes. Being in his embrace was the most comfort I have ever experienced. The world could burn around us, but if I was safe in his arms I wouldn't even open my eyes.
Lightly, a soft, sweet-smelling thing pressed against my mouth. Smelling the sweet mixed with Sam's scent, I opened my mouth without hesitation, biting down on the strawberry he fed me. My eyes popped open as the explosion of juice danced across my tongue, some of the juice dribbling down my chin. Before I could move my hand to wipe away the juice, Sam's lips were there. Slowly, he licked and kissed away the juices, not stopping before capturing my mouth. His tongue skillfully encapsulated mine, stealing the strawberry from my mouth.
A gasp escaped my lips as I realized what he had just done. I felt his laughter rumble his chest as he continued to feed me. With each new food item I made a content sound, slowly licking my lips until Sam captured them with his. There was some meats I couldn't place with accuracy that he offered me, not that I minded. Decadent spreads like the one he prepared for us was not something I was accustomed to living with Renee.
Sam seemed to know when I was done with eating. Instead of feeding me more food, he slowly kissed his way up from my collarbone to my jaw. Each kiss behaved like a lick of fire, igniting a bonfire within my soul. If I hadn't accepted that Sam was my mate, this blazing feeling in my chest would have cemented it. Such small acts of affection grounded me to this world, to this man.
I felt the tears fall painfully slowly, I tried to hold them in. Yet, in this moment, with this man, I couldn't help but become overwhelmed by the love I felt. This was the love that authors wrote about, singers longed to experience. This love was unachievable by the masses, only to be told as fairy tails or too good to believe.
Sam stopped kissing me as the moisture reached his lips. I felt his hesitation instantly, causing him to pause in his pursuit of tasting my skin. Slowly he adjusted the way we sat, allowing me to face him. I couldn't meet his eyes, I was pathetic.
"Bella"
The way he said my name like a caress almost forced me to look up into his eyes. My eyes did raise from the ground to his chin. I watched as his mouth bent up in the left corner.
I would have assumed the Alpha of a pack would need to have a good poker face. I guess, however, that is not necessary with your mate. Sam's face was always like an open book to me. That book spoke of love and acceptance of anything I needed.
Sam opened his mouth slightly, as if to start speaking again. I closed the distance between our mouths, hungrily devouring his mouth with mine. I pushed softly on his chest. Sam did not hesitate to give me what I wanted. Leaning back slowly, he pulled me on top of him, our mouths never parting.
I felt my body melt into him. Our bodies matched in ways that no one else on this planet could understand. His hard muscled form held me like I was the most delicate of blown glass. Under his meticulous touch, I knew the structure of glass that was my body would not shadier.
Authors Note: Hey everyone! I promise I am not giving up on this story. It is simply that I have a parasite inside of me that is taking all my brain energy. I had written this chapter many times and did not want to compromise my writing style, simply to give you a mediocre chapter. If you have made it this far in the story you deserve way more than half strung sentences, I hope that you understand the late timing of the chapter. I do want to promise to write the next chapter faster for you, but as I am not the only human in my body, I will simply promise to try my best. Please let me know what you think of this chapter in the reviews!
