Shaking off my guilt, I focused on the task at hand. Walking closer to Sam, I took a deep breath.
"One." I opened the bag. "Two" I raised it up. "Three" I dumped the contents over Sam.
I could see for a moment the shine in his eyes reappear. The same shine that he had every time he saw Bella. Paul ripped me from the room slamming the door behind me. My only hope was that it would be enough scent for today. If we gave him a bag of fresh scent each night we might be able to make it three days. Before the worst of the separation effects kicked in.
Fuck. Flic, you better bring her home.
Chapter 36: Numb O'Clock
As Always Happy Reading
POV: FLIC
I watched Dad do his fake relaxed drumming against the steering wheel. He only did this for two reasons. The first, and probably my favourite, was to piss Uncle Edward off. Often, Dad would tap off beat to the song that was playing, and with Uncle Edward's musical sensibilities, it annoyed him to his core. The second reason, and why he was doing it now, was because he was dropping me off on an adventure he couldn't join.
He did the same tapping as he drove me to summer camp each year. Even though him and Mom would stay as counsellors for the time that I was enrolled. If I was enrolled during a particularly sunny week of camp, the two of them would visit in the middle of the night and tuck me in.
Which is why his tapping was more excessive then I had ever witnessed it. Unlike all the times he dropped me off for a few hours, this mission wasn't a guaranteed amount of time. It also was required by the nature of the mission to be sans vampire.
I guess I was lucky that Dad and Mom didn't use Auntie Alice as a life support for me. Uncle Edward had used Auntie Alice's visions to ensure Beck's safety early on in their relationship. It wasn't something that Beck loved. He still did it, though now to a much lesser extent, at least that the two vampires let on.
The fact that Beck was tied to the wolves by blood apparently didn't completely exclude her from Auntie Alice's visions. Though I was told they had a grainy effect. Kinda like a filter was placed over the visions.
The reason that this was a good thing, was because I knew I would invite the wolves that dropped Bella off to come with me, making me unreachable by Auntie Alice's gift.
I debated starting a conversation and stopped myself. Dad was never the quiet one in our relationship. If he needed time to process I could respect that. Looking out the window, I couldn't make out passing landmarks. Everything went by too fast for my eyes to concentrate, This is what babies must feel like for the first few months of life. Able to understand that something is just out of their field of view, but, unable to identify it.
My phone lit up. Looking at it, I saw a text from Mom.
Mom: I love you. Kick some ass, come home safe.
I texted her back
Flic: Thanks Mom. Love you too. I will be home so fast it will be like I never left.
Pocketing my phone, I could see that Dad read the texts. It wasn't like I was hiding them. Truthfully, I never had any reason to hide things form my parents. Maybe one day I would have something that I didn't want them to know about. Like maybe I would try recreational drugs, or become very into slam poetry.
"What are the rules?" Dad asked for the forth time. It was like this question was on loop in his mind. Each time I came up with a more ridiculous answer. From starting a llama farm, to choosing to only believe in aliens if they could produce a real blue raspberry. I decided to give him another gem of an answer.
"1. Don't do drugs. 2. Don't sell drugs. 3. If I do sell drugs, make sure a cut is going to charity or I can't get a tax break." I smiled at him.
"Flic" Dad looked at me with a serious expression.
Serious Dad was probably my least favourite. I was used to fun, go to Disneyland on a whim, tell Mom that I am sick to go surfing Dad. It made sense, though, that I am getting more straight forward Daddy Emmett on this drive.
"Rule 1. Remember you and Mom love me. 2. Call when I land. 3. Come home soon. 4. If I need you to come call and say Pomegranate." I recited the rules.
"Seriously baby girl, Pomegranate, just say it once and regardless of where you are in the world, your mom and I will be there" Dad held my hand.
My heart warmed at the contact and love of my Dad. He had always been this way. Never was he anything but supportive, full golden retriever energy. I hope to one day fall in love with someone with that energy too. Although, I am not sure I would be completely balanced that way. I was jealous of the imprinted pairs that seemed to be able to ride a unicycle together, in perfect harmony. I wanted that so desperately, but, I might be too broken for that to happen.
I shook off the desire for a complete soul that hung under my skin since… forever. This wasn't about me. Helping now meant bringing two souls back together. There was nothing more magical then that.
Pulling up to the airport, I saw three wolves looking lost as all hell. Dad stopped in front of them. I climbed over the centre console into my Dad's lap. He held me for a few of my heartbeats before releasing me.
"Please be safe, don't do anything-" Dad paused "don't do anything that Grandpa Carlisle wouldn't do. I just remembered the rest of us have definitely done things I don't want you to participate in."
I smiled at him, grabbing my duffel bag, Dad handed me the credit card.
"Don't drive away yet, Dad" I told him.
He nodded, watching the wolves intently. It wasn't a look of mistrust, instead it was simply paternal protection.
Climbing out, I made my way over to them.
"Hey, where's Bella?" I asked.
For a moment I thought this was going to be as simple as "she's in the bathroom." Easy scoop and bring home mission.
The look on the men's faces, however, told me this was not a simple mission.
"She's on a plane" the youngest of the wolves said.
"Is she going to Mexico? I could go for some decent tacos for dinner" I tried to interject some fun into the situation.
I knew where she was going. Beck had told me. I didn't, however, know how much of a head start she had gotten.
"Phoenix" Embry answered. He was taller then Seth, but not by much.
His voice did things to my heart. I was very happy my Dad couldn't see my face as I involuntarily licked my lips.
"I'm going to get her. Do you want to come with me?" I asked.
All three men seemed to light up at the idea.
"Do you all have your I.D's on you?" I asked.
With vampire help, it didn't matter if they had I.D's or not. Being that I was the only one to go with the wolves, however, meant that no I.D's, no joining the rescue mission.
The two older ones produced their I.D's. They moved mechanically as to be expected, with their Alpha in his current situation.
"I- I'm too young to have an I.D card." The youngest of the boys sounded panicked.
"What's your name?" I asked him in my most empathetic tone.
"Kyle" the boy responded. He sounded lost.
"Kyle, would you be okay with my Dad driving you back home?" I asked him.
It wasn't safe for a young pup in a big city alone. Trust me I knew it from first hand experience. Losing your pack can jar you, and having an Alpha in this state definitely felt like losing your pack.
"Your Dad?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah. He can get you back home in about 40 minutes, if you would like" I told him honestly "Then you could help Sam" I offered.
"Sure" He sounded exhausted. Poor Pup.
"Okay. He is a vampire. Don't freak out, he won't eat you. At most, you will listen to music not recognized as such in this century and talk about sports" I tried to keep the boy calm.
Kyle shrugged walking towards the car without care. Yup, gotta get this pup home. When an Alpha looses their imprint sometimes the youngest of the pack can go into a numb state. I could see it forming on the boy. I knew how it felt. We needed to get Kyle home safe.
"Dad. This is Kyle, can you give him a lift back home?" I asked knowing the answer would be yes.
"Of course. Climb on in Kyle, do you like Jazz?" Dad raised his eyebrows in a friendly gesture.
Kyle numbly climbed into the car, I saw recognition dawn on Dad's face. He had once picked up a different kid with the same affliction. That kid became his daughter. We locked eyes and I saw his 'give 'em hell' expression.
Dad and I exchanged "I love you's" before he pulled away from the curb. I could see it helped him leave his baby girl, having Kyle in the car. If it was up to Dad I would have many siblings, instead of me being an only child. Mom didn't want to force anyone into this life, told us time and time again if I was meant to have a sibling one would come to the family. That growing the family should be as easy as breathing.
A hand interlaced with mine. I felt a buzz of electricity, it traveled from the contact up my arm to my heart. I felt a smile touch my lips.
Shaking my head, I tried and failed to fully focus on the task at hand. I couldn't get the Alpha order out of my head. What if they didn't intervene? I could have found my forever family in one or both of these mens eyes.
Pushing down the thought, I reached out for Seth's hand. He gave it to me willingly. Being connected to both of them felt right.
"Come on guys. We have a plane to catch." I tried to make my voice sound optimistic.
We made quick work of finding the gate. Waiting in line, I couldn't help but smile at how normal we must look. Maybe people thought we were three childhood friends.
Walking up to the gate agent I dropped the contact, needing my hands for these next steps. Producing my passport I handed it to the lady. Obviously, one of my vampire family must have called ahead, as her eyes bugged ,then she took me in again. The men both handed her their pieces of ID. I made a mental note to check if they have passports, it would be fun to take them on a tropical vacation to Grandma's island. That question would need to wait until after this mission was successful.
"Three tickets to Phoenix please" I requested with my sweetest tone.
I heard a low purr from one of the men, I didn't turn around to see which one it was. All I wanted to do was curl up with them and feel that purr all over. If I got a purr using my sweet voice, I wonder what noises I could get if I really tried.
It only took the lady a moment to print me the requested tickets.
"Is the card on file okay to charge?" The gate agent asked.
"Yes, it should be" I smiled at her.
Each of my vampire family members had their own bank accounts. When I joined the family ten years ago, they all added my name to each account. If I wanted to I could buy my own house and fully furnish it, without anyone taking notice. Maybe Grandma Esme would take notice, only because she loved interior design and would want to help. My uncles often tried to convince me to buy new toys for them- faster cars, boats, motorcycles. Apparently when you have all the money they did, it wasn't as fun to spend it yourself.
She made quick work of charging the money, handing us three first class tickets, and our identifying documents. I gave her one more smile before walking with the men to security.
This would be fast work. Checking the time on our tickets, we had about an hour before boarding, which would be used to get the boys into less fancy clothing. Seeing Seth's shoeless foot, we would also need to grab him some shoes.
Normally, airport security went by fast. The security people were always distracted by the appearance of my Mom and Dad, or, as I would call them when we traveled together, my older siblings. The workers would often give me sympathetic glances, like the workers were trying to tell me my glow up must be coming.
This time, I got a different look from the workers. There was a girl that could have been a model checking my duffel bag. The amount of time she spent undressing the men beside me with her eyes, I could have brought a bomb through. She looked at me like I wasn't good enough to be standing next to these Adonises.
Zipping back up my duffel bag, I reached for the purple strap. Seth was faster then I was, pulling it on to rest on his shoulder. I smiled up at him. He looked away, before our eyes could meet.
Fuck this Alpha order.
"Okay, let's get you guys into more comfortable clothing" I smiled up at them.
They both smiled but neither of them could look at me.
Finding a men's clothing shop, I started towards the soft fabrics. Much to Auntie Alice's dismay, I had a hatred of scratchy materials. She would often make me outfits out of softer materials, that didn't appear to be as comfortable from looking at them.
"Do you guys have a preference?" I asked.
Both men looked a little lost. Embry looked at a price tag and his eyes bugged out.
"Don't look at the price. I have more generational wealth then I will ever know what to do with" I spoke honestly.
"That's not necessary." Seth acted like he would break the clothing if he touched them.
I had laughed when Uncle Edward talked about Beck's hesitancy around expensive things. Now, I wish I had taken notes, then maybe I would know what to do in this situation. I would have to go about this by summoning my best Auntie Alice impression.
"What size are you guys?" I asked.
They gave me their approximate measurements. Luckily, they knew their jean, and shoe sizes exactly. I made quick work of grabbing shirts and jeans for them. Grabbing a pair of Air Force Ones in Seth's size, I added them to the basket. Wondering only for a moment if they needed underwear, I decided that was too intimate for this shopping trip. Until I thought about the other option - sneaking a pack of underwear into the basket and bringing it up to the counter before either of them had time to protest.
I turned to them, checking my watch. We had 45 minutes before our boarding time.
"Wanna take a shower?" I asked them.
Watching a blush run up both their necks, I realized the implication of my question. Grabbing the bag from the counter, Embry took it from me.
I guided them to the first class lounge. Scanning our tickets and walking into the back of the room, I showed them where the showers were. Seth handed me my duffel bag. Both boys walked into a bathroom with the bag of new clothing, shutting the door behind them.
Hopefully, a shower would help. It would at least give them some separation from the events of the wedding. At the very least, it would give Seth an opportunity to get the caked on mud off his skin.
Slinging the duffel bag across my body, I walked over to the buffet. I grabbed a charcuterie plate piled high, balancing it in one hand so I could sip my ice coffee. Choosing a spot in the corner, I let myself zone out, looking out the panoramic windows.
I slowly sipped on iced coffee and nibbled from the plate. The guys probably won't feel hungry again until Sam was better. I needed to make sure to provide them opportunities to eat.
Pulling out my phone, I snapped a selfie and sent it to Mom. She would appreciate a proof of life photo. Mom never coddled me, like I saw other parents do. Instead, she was all about independent learning, with a safe landing place.
"Hey" Embry sat beside me. I couldn't help myself, I leaned closer to his warmth.
Living with cold vampires gave me an appreciation for human warmth. Embry was warmer then a human by a lot. It was the type of warmth I could feel thawing my bones.
"Good shower?"
"Great shower. They have jets in the wall of the shower. It was a shock, but, I'm afraid I will never have a better shower experience" I could hear a note of relaxation in his voice.
"Remind me next time we travel, I will give it a try" I spoke, pulling the food closer to him.
"The next time?" Embry asked.
"Yeah. I love traveling, and my parents can't enjoy tropical destinations. Unless we go to an island we own. I think it would be fun to go to one of those resorts with a swim up bar." I admitted.
"There's a swim up bar here?" Seth asked, sitting at the table.
I couldn't hold back a genuine laugh. Over the past few years I had bugged Beck to tell me stories about her childhood. Growing up with vampires was great, but, I was the only kid. When Beck would talk to me about having so many friends growing up I was fascinated.
I watched the corner of Seth's lip tip up, in what might be considered a cocky smile. He was exactly how Beck described, though most of her descriptions were from an older sister perspective. As Beck and Leah had been best friends growing up, so every story of Seth was always prefaced with "Leah's little brother Seth".
Chewing on my lip, I worried that it was unfair that I had more information about them then they knew about me. Though was it creepier to mention that I know about them, or just play it up as very lucky guesses. Like how Seth could live off slushies in the summer, or how Embry is always up to go surfing.
"There is not one here. Though, I would be totally up to traveling to a location that has one. After we get Bella back, of course." I could hear the hopefulness in my voice.
I expected the uncomfortable feeling of them not being able to look me in the eyes. On the drive down I prepped myself mentally for it, or so I thought. Internally cursing, I realized that I didn't account for the connection, imprint or not, that people get by looking each other in the eyes. I felt like I was picking up pieces of a very big puzzle, but eye contact would solidify the picture.
Glancing at my watch, we had ten minutes to get to the gate. Sighing, I stretched. Flipping my internal switch from one that is relaxed, to one that is understanding of the mission at hand.
I pulled up my phone as the boys took in first class, snapping a selfie of all of us. I couldn't resist. It was a Cullen tradition to take pictures before the adventure began. My stomach clenched as I saw for the first time their smiling faces, without them trying to look away. I would need to get this framed for my wall.
Resting into my window seat, I enjoyed watching the men going through the complementary toiletries kit. Their demeanours grew more surprised as they pulled out the luxury products. Seth popped on the slippers, mimicking being fancy. Embry laughed, shaking his head. I wish I had a friendship like theirs, it seemed like they needed to say nothing to enjoy each others company and be connected.
The closest thing I had to that kind of relationship was with Uncle Edward, but, he could literally read my mind. Thinking about it more, it might not count as the closeness the boy's relationship seemed to be.
I gripped my seat slightly harder as the plane neared takeoff. It was my least favourite part of flying. Mainly because something about being off the ground made me feel very uneasy. When I was younger Mom would pull me into her lap, ignoring all the humans around us. She held me safely until the plane touched back down.
As I grew older, I have gotten used to the unsettled feeling of being in the air. Normally, a ginger ale and a nap could help me cope with most flights. Embry must have noticed my unmasked unease.
He held his hand out to me, palm up. I grasped it, reaching for the comfort I so desperately needed. Masking my emotions was something I had gotten very good at, however, masking when I needed something at a core level, I was still unable to do.
Embry's large hand wrapped comfortingly around mine. When the plane levelled out, I continued to hold his hand, feeling a comforting buzz where our hands connected.
I knew that we needed to get Bella back. A deep part of me also knew that getting her back would solidify my separation from these two men. I would still get her back, for the pack, for Beck, even if it put a wax seal on my unhappiness.
POV: Bella
Trigger Warning: This is a darker chapter. Please evaluate you mental health before continuing.
I had snuck some drinks from the stewardess cart, if they noticed, they didn't get paid enough to care. A few mini bottles in I was able to think straight. The alcohol seemed to numb the separation, or at least, numbed my ability to connect to the pain.
It hurt thinking about how Sam must not be in pain right now. In the arms of Emily, his lover. A part of me wondered how often they slept together while I was in the picture. Cracking another mini bottle, I welcomed the burn as the plane touched down.
Opening my phone, I thought about calling Coach to come pick me up. Having a slight stumble to my steps, I decided not to. She already worried about my food scarcity, I didn't need her worrying about my potential addictive behaviour. Coach wouldn't understand, she would send me to rehab, and that would kill me.
Checking my wallet, there was money in here that I don't remember having. Maybe one of the men gave me some as a goodbye present. In any case, it was more than enough to take a cab home.
Home.
I moved before my heart could fully stop, fearing if I stopped with it squeezing as tightly as it was it might never expand again.
The cab had music playing that I didn't know. I was able to tune it out. I don't think I would turn on music with my own free will for a while.
Music was meant to be enjoyed by happy people. Therefore, I would not be able to participate in the activity for the rest of my life.
The house wasn't full of people. Beer cans dotted the lawn. Responsible Bella would gather them all, knowing we would be out of housing by the end of the month, without finding money everywhere.
Too bad that Bella died the moment the car drove me away from….
I pushed the door open, not paying attention to Renee. Reaching to the back of the cupboard under the sink, I grabbed the first glass bottle I found. Popping the top, I let the burning liquid calm my nerves.
I thought about going to my room. It would be more comfortable on my thin mattress than it would be on the sticky floor of the kitchen.
Renee must have had a party. I didn't look around the identify what the stickiness was. Instead, grabbing another full bottle from under the sink, I rolled under the kitchen table.
Hopefully here, no one would notice me. I would be allowed to become one with the grime around me. The stickiness that matched my soul, leaving… him… had felt like taking off a permanent medical dressing. Leaving both a gaping wound and a border of soiled, used adhesive.
The adhesive border acted like a magnet. I would attract new coping habits as time went on. Alcohol would work for the night. Maybe I would need something stronger, as the wound would never close.
Cold wet drenched my skin. I embraced it, letting myself focus on how my hair stuck to my scalp, enjoying the uncomfortable suction of my sweater.
A buzz of panic rocketed through me. This wasn't my sweater. This was his. I had stolen it from Emily. If she got him, I wanted the fabric that he used to wear.
Now it might never smell like him again, instead smelling like a mixture of dirty kitchen floor and alcohol. Still it was proof, even ruined. It would act as a reminder that I am not special enough to be protected, cared for, or loved.
A new pressure overwhelmed my chest. Maybe this was it, my heart would stop beating, or my lungs would choose not to expand again. Humans were not supposed to be able to choose to stop breathing, the way dolphins could. If humans had to take conscious breaths, I would have died many times over before now. If I was a dolphin I would currently be laying on the bottom of my tank, alone, ready for death.
I moved my arm, needing the liquid burn. My arm couldn't come. Looking down at the bottle, it was still grasped in my white knuckled grip. Yet, I was unable to bring the liquid relief to my lips.
Fuck it. If I couldn't get it to come to me, I would bring my mouth to it.
I tried to roll. No dice. I tried to sit up. No dice. Maybe the table had fallen on me. It looked far enough away, to give me room, but maybe not.
My chest was relieved of pressure, as the table was moved from my view. Or maybe I was moved from out from under the table. Either way at this moment I couldn't bring myself to care, more then seeing the stack of bills currently pilled neatly on top of the unchanged table.
"Bella!" Renee screamed.
I turned looking at my mother. Her eyes were clearer then they had been in months. Bringing my hand to my mouth, I was furious to find the bottle had been removed. Pulling a mini bottle from my pocket I took it like a shot, before anyone could take it away from me.
"Talk to me. What happened?" Renee demanded.
"Renee, do we need to call him?" A male voice asked.
"Call him! Call him now! I had lived years trying to survive that man. Waiting for him to step up! Just because of fucking Black's order! I lived in pain! If we call him, would he even be allowed to come?" Renee was screaming.
I took her distraction to look for another bottle of alcohol, or bleach, whichever was closer to my reach.
"Renee, he was ordered away because, if not, his Son would have been in line to be the next Chief. He cares about the two of you. Sent me to find you the moment he heard you were still alive" The man's voice tried to sound convincing.
"Just because he told you to find me doesn't mean that he cares."
"Renee, why would I be here if he didn't care?"
Looking at my mom's face, she had applied makeup today. She hadn't put makeup on in years. Not even when she went on dates with Phil. It would be fitting that my world would die as hers healed.
"Because look at the state of our daughter. He didn't care about me, but, he would do anything for her" Mom sounded genuine.
"We didn't know where you were, if you were even alive. Each time we asked the pack, we were penalized. We tried! Obviously not hard enough, it would never be enough that you suffered the way you did. Lets stop her suffering now. We need to find out-"
Mom cut him off
"We need to find out nothing. I will call the witch, get a tincture, sever the imprint. Bella is normally painfully rational, truthfully I would have probably died time after time if it wasn't for her. She will thank me when she is no longer feeling pain. God knows I should have severed mine years ago, but I was too much of a dreamer, imagining that Frank would actually give a shit enough to find me."
Each mention of imprint had me thinking of him. The air burned as it entered my lungs. I smelled him on the sweater, almost like I could remember the memory of his scent. If only I could conjure his warmth, my world might be a bit more survivable.
Holy fuck, am I magical?
I felt warmth like his next to my side. The scent was slightly off, though. It had a slight spice that would have complemented Sam's sweet. Almost like they had been two generations of the same cologne.
"We need to find out who she imprinted with before we cut any imprint" The male demanded.
"Why? You haven't been been there in years! It doesn't fucking matter who my baby girl imprinted on. It only matters that they are not here now, and she is in pain" Renee sounded more motherly then I had heard in years.
"My son is there" the male's voice burned.
Authors Note: That was a lot. Please seek mental health help if this chapter has effected you in a negative way. Know that this community cares about you.
Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter. I absolutely love hearing from you! If you have any theories drop them in the reviews!
