She grabbed her bag, a zippered pocket inside the bag was stuck, I watched as she struggled to gain access to the contents. Embry helped her, ripping open the fabric under the zipper, and vials spilled out into the main compartment of the bag.
Seth brushed the sweat off my forehead. Shivers wracked uncontrollably through my body. As my body shook I felt Sam slipping from me. Almost like a vale of fog was being forced between our connection. I pushed against the fog, scooping it mentally, trying to find him.
I could no longer see Seth, Embry, or Flic, yet I could hear them. Mentally, I was screaming for Sam. He was here somewhere, he had just been here. I spun our connection point mentally over and over again, as if trying to find the missing link in the mist.
My mouth was forced open, a minty taste coated my tongue, I swallowed out of habit, needing to get it into my body so I wouldn't be distracted against searching for Sam. My ears began to pop, and my stomach lurched.
Then, I felt it, the static of a disconnected call.
Sam was gone.
Chapter 41: Humpty Dumpty
As Always Happy Reading
POV: Sam
"Holy Fuck, Beck!" Paul whisper-yelled as he ran to her.
She looked completely lifeless crumpled on the floor. I could hear her shallow breathing. Moving to the door, I opened it slightly, seeing that no other wolves were present.
"Let's get her into one of the spare rooms" I ordered Paul in a hush.
If Beck was right, then it would be in our best interest to know where she is. Also, to keep us apart. I moved to face the wall, now that we had the advantage I wasn't going to be stupid about it.
The elders might think they are doing what is best, trying to keep me stable, by breaking my imprint. My soul burned at the knowledge that I would never make the choice to break my imprint. It went deeper then the stories the elders told.
Bella would forever be my heart and soul. If this imprint were to break, I would cease to be.
When the vampires left, they did us a disservice. Without them, the tribe was left without shifters. Without the generation of shifters, the elders that were a part of the council who could shift, passed on.
There was only so much stories could explain. To people who couldn't shift or imprint, the idea of breaking an imprint when something goes wrong, might seem rational.
As simple as getting your buddy back to the bar after a breakup. Simply as logical as a divorce after an affair is discovered.
Yet, when you experience an imprint you know how deep the connection actually becomes. Bella is tied to my very soul. The formation happened within a breath, and wove itself into my very being as naturally as cotton candy was spun.
I still couldn't wrap my head around a way to pull each sugar strand that was Bella off my soul. Essentially that is what they were talking about doing when they wanted to break my imprint.
It wouldn't be happening. Not ever. I could feel Bella returning to me, feel her through the bond. Whatever had changed made my wolf think she was just in the other room. It relaxed that part of my being to think she was that close, allowing me to think of how to protect our bond, until she was back in my arms.
When she was back, we would protect the bond together. Partners in the truest sense. Looking around the room, I started to gather her belongings off the bed, packing them away. I needed to do something with my hands, not wanting to send anxiety through the bond.
Paul had just walked back in as I placed Bella's last strewn item away. It was comically easy to move her into my space. I hadn't intentionally left spots open for my future imprint. I mean, not consciously, that is. It would have been a constant reminder of how I was still missing half my soul, if I left space open for her consciously.
Looking around the space now, I felt a mix of joy and overwhelming need to have her here. Even our things fit like puzzle pieces. Now, I just needed her back. Needed her in my arms. Needed to watch her breathe.
"I put Beck in bed with Rachel. What the fuck is going on, man?" Paul looked stressed.
"The Elders have tried to match Beck and I before. You know Beck, she isn't interested in becoming a tribal pawn, never has been. So, we both dodged hard whenever the Elders brought up us imprinting or hanging out in any capacity." I informed Paul.
"Dude, is that why it seemed like you guys rotated during parties?" Paul looked shocked.
I simply nodded. Beck and I would text before any social function that both of us wanted to attend. Luckily, me being the Alpha of the pack and Beck dating a vampire, we both had more then enough excuses to come and go.
"Have you been here the entire time?" I could hear the anxiety in my voice.
Truthfully, I had hours that I had no memory of. After Emily kissed me and Bella left, I lost a few hours in the pain of the bond stretching. My instincts had been yelling at me to go after her, but, I promised myself that I wouldn't be a controlling partner in the relationship. Especially in a relationship with my soulmate. Instead, I let myself absorb the majority of the pain between the two of us, living in a world that was surrounded by only our pain.
"I was here most the time. I needed to get Rachel off Emily in the woods, then pick up Beck from the border. Other then that, I was here." Paul listed the actions on his fingers.
"Was Billy, or any of the elders, here when you weren't?" I demanded.
The expression that Paul gave me told me all I needed to know. I had been alone with the Elders. If Beck was right, all it could have taken was a bit of liquid to set in motion our imprinting. No one had told me what it took to break an imprint. Unsurprisingly, those stories never seemed to be shared around the bonfires.
Bonfire stories always sugar-coated this life. Talking of bravery and loyalty, never about the truest sacrifice the transformation demands. The sacrifice of half of our souls.
There is a reason we all want to imprint as wolves, it isn't just for the sake of finding our imprint. When we say our imprint is the other half of our soul, it is more than just a Hallmark phrase. It continues to be the kindest way to apologize to our newest wolves. One day, you will meet your destined mate, with them will come the other half of your soul, the half that your wolf is currently missing.
The thing about being governed by leaders that have never experienced having less then a full soul, is that they simply do not understand the gnawing emptiness.
"Okay. We need to be very fucking careful then" I told Paul.
"Maybe phase and run. None of the Elders can keep up to your wolf, it's only a few hours until Bella should be back" Paul offered.
I shook my head, knowing I couldn't be running on animal instincts when Bella returned. If the council tried to break our imprint while I was an animal, I would be all but defenceless.
"We need to talk to Jake." I sighed.
"He's not here. Beck yelled at him, he said he had more important things to prepare" Paul scratched the back of his neck.
"He's not-" I couldn't finish my question. Knowing if I did, I would be crossing the line between loyalty and treason.
"Why would he be working to break your imprint? What would he gain from that?" Paul sounded flabbergasted that someone who had an imprint would plot to break the imprint.
"Paul" I raised my eyebrow at him.
He was going to be married into the Black family, but, he had been my best friend for longer. I loved him, always trying to see the best of the pack. If you lost Paul's trust, you would need to really fuck up. He was loyal and trusting almost to a fault when it came to the pack.
"I just… Do you really think he would be doing anything that would cause you pain? You are co-Alphas in this pack." Paul's loyalty was shining through his words.
"Maybe he thinks he's helping. Either way, we need to figure out what he is planning. I hope that I am the last one they attempt to break the imprint of, but, if I'm not, I need to know how they are doing it. If I don't know, how can I lead the new pups? I can't protect them against the unknown cancer within our own pack" I told Paul.
I heard him following as I headed for the door.
"Please stay here. We need you to keep Beck safely away from me and any other non-imprinted wolf. She doesn't want this life. We need to respect that" I ordered Paul.
"But, she is dating a vampire. I'm not saying she should imprint with you, but-"
I cut Paul off "No butts. She doesn't want to be a member of the pack. We will respect that. It is not up to us to choose how the tribe lives, it is only our job to protect them. This is how we protect Beck"
Paul nodded. He went into the room that Rachel and Beck slept in. I knew I could trust him. It wasn't something that most people would be able to understand.
I couldn't say I truly understood why someone would choose to date a vampire. It could also be that I am a dude, and thinking about dating vampires was physically repulsive. I don't think I would prefer cuddling up to a cold body at night, regardless of how warm I could become.
Listening hard, I tried to figure out if Paul and I were the only wolves in the pack house. Ensuring my bedroom door was shut, I slowly made my way down the stairs and out the back door. If any wolf stumbled upon my scent, they might pass it off as an old trail - I did live here, after all.
Running the paths less taken, I found myself on the back porch of the only people I could think about trusting. They had been the last ones to experience an imprint. I knocked on the door of Old Quil and Molly Ateara, hoping beyond hope that no other wolves decided to come here, not tonight.
Molly opened the door. Her face always seemed younger then her years. She had her grey hair pinned up elegantly, but I could see something was troubling her. The lipstick was still applied beautifully to her top lip, the bottom, however, had been scraped from the flesh with her teeth.
"You okay?" I touched her shoulders. She shook feebly under my touch.
Guiding her to her favourite worn kitchen chair. I helped her sit. She looked too worn, more frail then the firecracker that I had practically been raised by.
"I will be. How are you?" Molly asked studying my face.
"They are trying to break my imprint" I told her.
I knew I didn't have time to waste. If I was going to keep my upper hand of knowledge, I would need to keep pushing through. I trusted Molly. At one time, she was the only adult in my life that I felt was in my corner. In this moment, it felt that way again.
"I know" Molly let out a sob.
"You know?" I felt tears slowly fall out of my own eyes.
"Listen to me. I can't tell you how they are going to break it. They won't give me all the pieces. I can, however, try to protect you from it" Molly stood.
I followed her small form from the kitchen. She gestured for me to be quiet as we walked down the hallway of bedrooms. I understood why, as we passed one that smelled unmistakably of Quil, Claire, and sex.
At the end of the hall Molly looked around, almost as if she was checking if anyone was spying. Seeming satisfied, she pulled on her wall sconce. The bookshelf that was before us slid open in a swift motion.
Molly ushered me inside the opening, almost as if she was worried someone would notice the movement of the bookshelf. As the bookshelf closed behind us, dim chandeliers illuminated the space.
It was an entirely new room, lined with solid wood shelves. Glass bottles sprawled around the space, each one containing a different substance. It looked slightly out of the realm of spice cabinet, a few slimes encased in glass vials reinforced that this room was not for preparing food.
Molly walked around stacks of books that seemed to be newly piled around the space. Almost like she was trying to find something she needed, yet, in her older age, didn't have the energy to both continue the search and put the wrong books back onto their respective shelves. I moved behind her, careful to not touch anything, quite a feat with the small lanes Molly had created between the piles.
She stopped in front of a hand carved desk. It had carvings of wolves and stars all over the edges. The carvings would have had to be years old, as the edges of them had been softened over time.
Molly pulled a book off the top of one of the nearby stacks, flipping through it like she was on a mission. The pages looked as if they were old enough to be caked in dust, yet, Molly must have used this book often enough for it to never have time to collect any.
She paused on a tear-stained page. I watched as she ran her fingers down the list of ingredients, plucking up the vials around the space. She lit a bowl that had twine-bound silver leaves, quickly blowing out the active fire to let the smoke of the leaves permeate the space.
"This is going to take a minute, and you look exhausted" Molly smiled at me.
She pointed to a daybed that was almost hidden in the corner of the space. It was constructed of the same dark wood of the bookshelves. Built into the space, as if the person building it knew exactly how much time Molly would be spending in this space. I sat on the soft mattress. With the fur blankets, I felt more comforted then I had since I was a child. That is, with the exception of whenever Bella was in my arms.
Focusing on my bond, I sent more love and apologies flowing through. Sending love, because Bella was it for me, imprint or not, she will always be my soulmate. Sending apologies, because even though she was coming home now, she was still walking into a shit storm. How was I going to explain to her that I didn't want the imprint broken? That I didn't set any of this into motion? It had all been set into motion before I had any consent or control.
I watched as Molly mixed different vials, not commenting when I noticed tears slip from her eyes. I made a mental note to ask later, honestly I felt like crap, but I didn't have the energy to ask why she was crying. The shrinking of the bond was all I could focus on, it was taking all my energy.
The room grew warmer, and the scent of spices hung in the air. It was a soul-comforting scent, one that I had a familiarity with. My mom used to smell like this often when I was growing up. When she died, I knew I wouldn't be able to bottle up the scent that I associated with my mom, but a candle that smelled just as this room did would have sufficed.
Molly wiped sweat from her brow, then she looked at the page once more before picking up a vial filled with sparkling purple liquid. She leaned against the desk, her arms trembling. Making the contents of the vial took a lot out of her.
I walked up to her, guiding her to the bed that I had just been occupying. Molly looked even smaller wrapped in the fur blankets. I propped her up on the pillows, helping her get more comfortable.
"Thank you Sam. You were always the kindest." Molly smiled.
"No problem. Molly what is all this stuff?" I asked her gesturing to the room.
"You can't tell anyone that you saw any of this, or that I made you a vial" Molly's eyes lit up with fear.
"I won't. I won't. You know I wouldn't tell anyone anything they didn't absolutely need to know" I told her.
She placed her hand on my forearm. Her tired smile told me she trusted me. Heck, she showed me she trusted me by letting me into her secret room.
"You need to trust me. Drink this vial, it will protect your soul. Hopefully nothing will happen to activate the ingredients, but, just in case…" Molly sounded sad as she spoke.
"Will this protect Bella too?" I needed to know.
A tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away with the back of her hand.
"I am not sure. It is written that it will work with a true imprint, but, this is not something I normally get to brew" Molly sounded desperate.
"I will take any help I can get, thank you Molly. How do I-" I paused "When do I-?" I held up the sparkling liquid.
"You will drink it. It will only protect you for the next twenty four hours. After that, the tincture runs its course. Is she coming back, your imprint?" Molly sounded very hopeful.
"She is. I can feel the distance between the bond shrinking. Molly, Beck told me that Billy is planning on breaking my imprint at sunrise. I know you said you didn't have all the information, but, is it even possible?" I asked her.
"It's more then possible. If Billy is successful, you will go through an immense amount of pain. I added some pain relief to the vial, hopefully you will only feel a small portion" Molly's frown deepened.
"I won't let them break my imprint." I could hear the desperation in my own voice.
"If it is a true imprint, it can never truly be broken. That is what the council forgets." Molly held my hand tightly in her own, I could feel that she was trying to send her strength to me.
"Thank you Molly. What do you think I should do?" I asked.
"Stay here. No one will know you are here. I am the last living person that knows about my secret room. I won't tell anyone you are here" Molly genuinely smiled.
This could work. I could stay hidden until Bella returns. Then our imprint would remain safe, secure and intact. I took Molly up on her offer. Sitting on the worn wooden floor, I relaxed against the bookshelf. I could always find out how they plan to break imprints when my imprint wasn't at risk.
Sending more love through the bond, I tried to keep my anxiety out of our bond. She was already returning to me, I didn't need her thinking I was second guessing if I wanted her to return.
My phone started buzzing in my pocket. Pulling it out, my heart sunk.
Paul Text Chain
'Beck is missing'
'How?'
'If I knew I would tell you. My head fucking hurts'
'Do you know where she went?'
'Dude, if I knew where she went, my imprint,
wouldn't be panicking right now.'
'True'
'Also I would have texted you "Beck
decided to go fuck her vampire boyfriend.",
Not that she is missing'
'Okay. Okay. I will go look for her'
I closed my phone. Paul always texted more words the more stressed he became. Molly was sleeping soundly on the bed. The older woman looked so tired, I didn't want to ruin her sleep. Opening the vial, I downed the contents, it tasted of spiced apple pie. My body didn't feel all that different after I drank it. Molly did say that the ingredients needed to be activated for them to work. Maybe the lack of change after having the contents of the vial was a good sign. It might mean that I wasn't yet effected by the first step of breaking the imprint.
I kissed the sleeping Molly on the forehead. She didn't stir, needing the sleep to recover. I would need to repay Molly tenfold when this hellish night was over.
The door to leave the space was openly marked. It was a simple latch that allowed the bookshelf to slide out of the way freely. I listened hard to the space on the other side of the shelves before letting myself out of the secret room. I would not be the one to break Molly's trust by outing her secret room.
Leaving her house was as easy as getting in. Quill and Claire were still engaged in bedroom activities. Thankfully for me, I wasn't sure which side Quill would fall on if he was asked. I wanted to think he would help me protect my imprint, yet, I have seen the restrictions he placed on his imprint. He also grew up best friends with Jacob. If asked, I would not count him in my corner.
Anger erupted in my core. The idea that I was now thinking about who would be loyal to not only me, but the sanctity of my imprint. I couldn't let Bella come home to this. She didn't deserve this. Bella deserved to come home and be surrounded by love. I needed to get this under control.
I ran to the house of the ringleader. Hopefully, he would be able to see the error of his ways. I was expecting the preparations for breaking an Alpha's imprint to be done in secrecy. I was wrong. It looked like half the pack was here, moving about the backyard.
Leah appeared to be arguing with Jacob. He was dismissing her concerns, then walked away from her, directing Collin where to put the wood for the bonfire. I watched as Leah stomped away from Jake, directly towards me. I was caught up with scanning the rest of the backyard, not fully paying attention to what Leah was doing. My body was in shock that my pack, my friends, my closest companions would be plotting to break my imprint.
"What are you doing here?" Leah grabbed my arm.
She pulled me further into the cover of the woods. I let her, my body too anxious to actually think about what was going on.
"What the actual fuck, Sam!?" She screamed whispered at me.
"Leah, what is going on?" I asked, knowing all too well that they are all plotting to erase my imprint. Still the knowledge of who was preparing it shook me to my core.
"Sam. The Blacks are fucked in the head. I am fucking debating breaking my imprint over this shit." Leah fumed.
"What! You can't! Imprints are sacred. Its the spirits showing us the best way for us to live, showing us our other half. It's something to be respected not thrown away!" I scolded her.
Leah rolled her eyes. I watched as her entire body shook with anger. She was just barely in control of her phasing.
"If you need to go for a run. I promise to stay here." I offered.
"I…" She took a deep breath "I can't" her tremors slowed.
"Leah, I won't get caught, I'm smarter then that. Go for a run, I will stay hidden" I told her.
"If I go for a run, they will all know you are here" she sounded exhausted.
"What do you mean?"
I have been a wolf long enough to know that you can choose to share thoughts as a wolf through the mind link. It wasn't like if Leah phases, every thought she had would be broadcasted.
"Jake did an Alpha order. None of our thoughts are safe in the pack link. None will be just a personal thought." Anger ripped through Leah.
"Why would he do that?" If I was angry before, I was furious now.
It was unacceptable to conspire about breaking an imprint. It was worse to not let people have a freedom of their own thoughts. What kind of dictatorship what Jake trying to run? Then to extend those domineering orders to your imprint, that didn't make any sense.
"He was warned that the pack might not agree with breaking your imprint. So, Jake was told to make this order happen, so that no one could find flaws in his actions. Or worse, work against him." Leah was practically steaming with anger by the end of explaining it.
"Its healthy to have differing opinions in a pack. Keeps it from becoming a dictatorship" I growled.
"I don't think Jake is particularly upset with becoming a dick at the moment." Leah barked.
"Leah!" Jake called.
He was standing in the middle of the yard. Leah and I had been talking for the past ten minutes, yet, it seemed as Jake just realized she had walked away from him. Too preoccupied in his own world to notice his imprint. It was clear to anyone that looked at Leah, that she was mad.
"Sam you shouldn't be here. Don't phase, or they will know exactly where you are. Its not safe, for you or Bella. Every time I ask about what will happen to her in all this I get shrugs, like they don't even care!" Leah bit down on her bottom lip.
"I need to put an end to this, Leah. Bella's on her way home. I don't want her coming home to preparations of our imprint breaking." I told her honestly.
"Rather that then your imprint actually broken" Exhaustion seeped through Leahs voice.
It had been a long day for her. Not only did her mother get married, but, her brother almost imprinted. With the almost imprint, her imprint put a stop to her brother's happiness. Now, her imprint was plotting to destroy her step-sister's imprint. The stress was evident on her face.
"Leah!" Jake called again.
"I better go. Don't want him sending more wolves to look for me. Please, don't be stupid in all of this." Leah wiped a tear away.
Turning, she walked from me back into the yard. Jake smiled when he saw her. How could he be smiling? Did he not see her as she was in front of him right now? The exhausted imprint that felt betrayed by every decision her imprint had made over the past day? There was nothing to smile about here, if I was in Jake's shoes I would be profusely apologizing. Heck, I would be apologizing for the rest of my life, if it made any difference in the trust level Bella had for me.
Bella deserved more then I could offer her. For starters, I will ensure that Bella returns home to a secure environment. This was not secure in the least.
Shaking off the lingering fear, I assured myself that I trusted Molly and my imprint. The Imprint will hold.
"Jake" I called. Walking into the yard.
His eyes grew wide. Jake ran from where he was standing, tackling me back into the forest.
"Dude, what the fuck!" Jake yelled at me.
"What? I could be asking you the same thing. Planning to break my imprint. The fuck is that all about!?" I yelled at him.
"Keep your voice down, will you. I am just… I don't want to break your imprint. I am acting. None of this is something that is meant to happen. Its not something that I am going to do" Jake sounded hurt.
"Then why are you doing all of this?" I gestured to the yard.
"Because my dad is fucking insane" Jake shook with anger.
"Jake-" I spoke out of surprise.
"No. He thinks that we need to have you imprinted with a girl from the tribe. Bella is from the tribe, so I don't know what the fuck he's going on about. All I know is, I am sabotaging him at every turn. It's making Leah pissed. I want to tell her I am not delusional, but I can't. If I'm found out, I will be tried for treason within the pack. I can survive that, I don't want to put her through that, wouldn't be able to forgive myself if she was whipped." Jake shook as he spoke.
"Jake" Leah whispered from behind us.
Jake stood. I watched him slouch in front of her, all the confidence leaving his body.
Leah closed the gap between them, crushing his lips with hers. He scooped her up into his arms, holding her against him.
"If you are getting whipped, so am I. We are in this together, treason and all" Leah kissed him once more before standing in front of him.
"I will never let them whip you. But I am sorry that I didn't tell you." Jake held his hand out for her. She took his hand gladly.
"You need to leave" Leah told me.
"Seriously. I will cover for you, no one will know that I saw you." Jake promised.
"I need to put an end to this" I told them both. Standing I walked into the yard.
"Dude. This isn't anything I truly understand. Its fucking crazy" Jake admitted.
I watched as the sun started to come up over the horizon.
"Sam" Billy called to me from the porch.
It was probably safe to walk over to him. It was in the opposite direction of all the mystical things that seemed to be set up. Like the bonfire and structure that could only be described as an alter.
"Billy, what is all of this?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that this was just an extreme overreaction. Maybe this wasn't him breaking our imprint. Maybe, just maybe, I was overreacting due to my bond being stretched. Why would Billy do this?
"Sam. I think we all know what this is. Your true imprint was always meant to be Rebecca." Billy explained.
I paused, trying to understand how delusional Billy had gotten. This was a level of delusion I would expect to come with a clinical diagnosis. How had we missed this?
"Billy, I was never meant to be with Rebecca. She has no desire to live this life. At some point, you will need to open your eyes and see that she is her own human, allowed to choose her own destiny. Even if you don't agree with her choices." I tried to keep my voice level and calm.
This could just be a mistake, Billy is just making a mistake. The old man smiled up at me, reaching his hand out I met his, shaking his hand. Billy used our hold of hands to reach up, stabbing me under the ribs.
When a wolf goes through their first change, the bone snapping often is described as the worst pain. That will never be what I describe as the greatest pain I have ever felt. Which is saying a lot, as the bone snapping and reforming changes the individual on a physical level. Pain bloomed all around me at a molecular level. I felt everything in me being lit and fired like I was both the cannon and the ball. I was unaware of where I began and ended.
All I knew was pain, terror, and Bella.
Authors Note: Hi Friends! Sorry, not sorry. I wrote this chapter four times and three times Sam just straight up died. SO... anyway what do you think about Molly? Cant wait to read your reviews! Much Love!
