"Billy, I was never meant to be with Rebecca. She has no desire to live this life. At some point, you will need to open your eyes and see that she is her own human, allowed to choose her own destiny. Even if you don't agree with her choices." I tried to keep my voice level and calm.
This could just be a mistake, Billy is just making a mistake. The old man smiled up at me, reaching his hand out I met his, shaking his hand. Billy used our hold of hands to reach up, stabbing me under the ribs.
When a wolf goes through their first change, the bone snapping often is described as the worst pain. That will never be what I describe as the greatest pain I have ever felt. Which is saying a lot, as the bone snapping and reforming changes the individual on a physical level. Pain bloomed all around me at a molecular level. I felt everything in me being lit and fired like I was both the cannon and the ball. I was unaware of where I began and ended.
All I knew was pain, terror, and Bella.
Chapter 42: No Life Without You...
As Always Happy Reading
Citrus Heads Up: There is a citrus scene within this chapter. It does not contain any major plot needed information. The citrus experience also has a clearly marked start and end for those who are not feeling juicy.
Pov: Bella
Bile fought its way up my throat. Flic held my hair back as I vomited until my stomach was empty. Leaning back against the wall of the bathroom, my stomach pitched again. It wasn't easy to stop the nausea as the plane was landing.
My ears popped painfully and I leaned over the toilet's basin to dry heave. Still, Flics hands where there, holding back my hair, rubbing my back, trying to provide any comfort she could.
I flung myself against the bathroom wall, frustrated with the situation. I had felt a mind altering pain, the type of pain that people got hooked on hard drugs to cope with. If we where still in Phoenix and my friends hadn't arrived to save me, I would know exactly where to retrieve said substances. It would have taken me less time to find them then it would have to get a breakfast sandwich.
"Where is the pain?" Flic whispered.
Both Embry and Seth were on edge. Flic had kicked them out of the bathroom with a firm 'you don't need to see this'. Even without wolf hearing, I could make out each footfall as they paced back and forth. One of the men stopped at the door, before continuing the regimented walk routine.
"Everywhere." I moaned.
"Any spot worse then the others?"
"I won't be able to keep anything you give me down" I admitted to her.
My inner child screamed at me. Pills made you feel better. I would need to keep it down if I was going to feel better. I could tell she was just trying to help, but her questions getting me to focus on the pain were not what I needed. I needed her to tell me to walk it off, or to give me stronger meds. I wasn't used to being coddled. Even as a kid, when I was sick I was just given a pill and put to bed. Being a child, I never questioned the legitimacy of the medication. It didn't matter if I was dosed wrong, pills fixed you. I was itching for a pill right now, I didn't care of what.
"I might be able to help with that" Flic's brows stitched together.
Her eyes seemed to have purple liquid drip into them, until they became purple glowing spears. Pre-La Push Bella would be freaked the fuck out by this. After seeing my wolf for the first time, I didn't think anything could truly scare me.
Instead, I was in awe. Her eyes looked like they contained little stars within their purple depths. My eyes only looked away when she conjured a green ball within her hands. Holding the ball out to me, I reached for it. When my fingers touched the surface of the cloudy green ball, it seemed to melt into my skin.
As it melted, the nausea subsided. I was finally able to take a normal breath without bile threatening my air supply. Flic handed me a piece of gum. I rolled my eyes, but popped it in my mouth anyways.
"Its not for your breath. Though, you just did throw up. We are landing, I think you might want to be able to hear when you go back to Sam" Flic smiled at me.
She was kinder then I deserved. Irritability had been festering in my core, from the moment I gained consciousness. I could tell it wasn't completely my own irritation. Mainly because the emotion came with a hint of betrayal that had my tongue tasting blood. I didn't puke up any blood, my stomach boiled as I thought about why Sam had blood in his mouth. Whoever did anything to him was going to have to face me.
"I'm not the aircraft safety police, but, would you like to still be in the bathroom when the plane lands?" Flic asked.
A genuine smile touched my lips. I guess she was right, I didn't want to be in the bathroom when the plane landed. New Renee or not, I still didn't want to stress her out. Growing up, glimpses of Renee in a state a little less stable then this had appeared every now and again, although it never lasted. At the first sign of stress, the dealer would be making a house call.
A knock sounded on the bathroom door. I jumped, however, Flic seemed like she was expecting it. Had they imprinted? She seemed to have the same certainty I did around Sam.
"Open Sesame" Flic smiled.
The bathroom door opened slowly. Seth stood in the doorway, only half his frame visible in the small plane door. His permanent smile hung on his face, slightly off. As if something was truly bothering my little brother.
I made a mental note to ask him about that after I fixed everything with Sam. Seeing Seth anything but golden retriever-level happy wasn't normal. Maybe he just needed sleep to get back to his normal energetic self.
Seth held a hand out for me. I met his eyes as he pulled me up, and he looked haunted. Before I could voice my concerns, the plane lurched. Seth pulled me out of the bathroom, helping me stay semi upright on the way back to our seats.
Flic didn't seem to need help walking back. I wanted to curse at her gracefulness, she walked like a skilled surfer taking a wave like it was child's play.
Embry's eyes lit up when he looked in Flic's direction. Surely they had to have imprinted. This level of devotion doesn't come from anything other then imprinting, right? It wasn't as casual as a fling, I could sense it went deeper then that.
Flic sat in Emery's lap, their lips almost touching. Neither of them could look the other in the eyes. Embry closed the gap between them, dipping his head so he kissed her jaw. Flic seemed to melt into the affection.
Seth let out a content yet forlorn sigh at their display. My mind spun with the meaning behind the sound, and the lack of immediate imprinting. They all seemed to fit together like perfect pieces, yet, here they were, acting like soon they would never see each other again.
I grabbed hold of Seth's hand as the plane dipped. Looking out the window into the morning light, the trees seemed too close to the plane. Almost like we were crashing. My heart hit my throat, and I wondered what Sam's life would be like without me in it.
He could marry Emily, have children, grow old. I gnawed on my bottom lip, knowing that I would be content in my afterlife if he was happy on earth. My soul felt like it was promising to haunt him until his joined mine, in whatever comes after this life.
Maybe I could be a sexy poltergeist. Knocking fresh baking off Emily's counters, reading Sam's babies to sleep. It wouldn't be easy, if at all possible, but, my soul would wait for his. No matter what form I had to wait in.
Flic gasped, drawing my attention back from my morbid thoughts. She seemed genuinely scared. Still holding my hand in his, Seth leaned forward, rubbing her back. Embry held Flic tight to his chest, almost like a promise of infinite safety.
My chest burned, longing, erupting. I had that. I had that and I walked away. The second we landed, come hell or high water I would make it to Sam. I would commit myself to remain by his side, however he would have me.
As the plane dipped again, I thought if we were to get married someday, I would need to add the line that 'I would be by his side, in this life, the next life, or under dire circumstances as a poltergeist. Not even death could keep me from My Sam.'
Chewing the mint flavour out of the gum, I tried to calm my nerves. The trees flew past, dangerously close to the plane. Joshua must be a good pilot to have not clipped the wing along the trees by now. A branch broke off under the strength of the wing. I felt a scared cry attempt to break out in my chest. I held it in, I would not die with my face contorted in fear. Taking a breath, I focused on Sam, sending all my love for him through the bond.
Then the wheels touched the ground. Slowly, the plane came to a stop. Looking outside I read Quileute Airport, on a worn sign above a small air control tower. I was back, Sam was near.
Without thinking, I got up from my seat. Renee was already opening the plane's door, she seemed more excited then I was. This made me pause. Why would Renee be this excited about coming back to the one place she swore she hated?
The moment the door flung open, a man scooped Renee into his arms. Panic flooded my veins. Who was this man and… and why was he kissing my mom?
Seth pulled me back to him, I could see the shock on his features as well. Embry stood holding Flic behind his massive form. I could only tell she was there because he hadn't released her hand.
When they finally broke apart, after an exceptionally long and drawn out kiss. Renee finally looked at us. Her smile was the most genuine I could ever remember. Never had she ever looked this happy as I was growing up.
"Frank, I think introductions are in order" Renee whispered, a reluctant tone to her voice.
I blushed at that. My mom was sounding like introductions are the last thing on her mind. Swallowing hard, I tried to tamp down the embarrassment.
"Who do we have here?" The man, Frank, asked.
He looked like if Embry had aged twenty years overnight. Same soft features, kind eyes, but yet, he had the wrong nose. His nose didn't angle the same way Embry's did. It almost mirrored mine.
"Wanna start with the easy ones?" Renee offered.
Frank nodded. He hadn't let Renee go, holding her hips as if she was a bird that often caught flight.
"The young man with the young woman in front of him is Seth Clearwater." Renee pointed. Frank's eyebrows pulled together, like he knew something we didn't.
"Nice to meet you, Seth" Frank smiled.
It struck me how alike Frank's smile was to Embry's. I shook my head. No, that's not a thing.
"The young woman, currently behind the other young man is Flic" Renee informed.
Flic poked around Embry for a moment, flashing Frank a toothless grin. Both Seth and Embry moved to block her from view again. I heard Flic let out a little giggle, though she didn't protest at their protectiveness.
"The young woman standing in front of Seth, is our daughter Bella" Renee smiled wide as she introduced me.
I stood, not knowing what to do. My life up to this point, was based in untrue assumptions. I was not Bella Swan. I was not Charlie's daughter. Seth was not my brother.
Out of habit, I raised my hand and gave a slight wave. That was all I could manage in my shock.
"It is nice to finally meet you Bella. I have wanted to meet you for a long time now" Frank sounded truthful in his words.
I let my chin dip and come back to stare blankly at them, in a nod. What was I meant to say? I lived a lie, would Sam still want me after he found out the truth? Would he call an exorcist to rid me if I did become a poltergeist, now that I am not Charlie's daughter? My mind spun, all direction of thought yelling the same thing. I needed to talk to Sam to process this.
"And last, but not least, the final young man. Frank, that is your son, Embry Call." Renee continued.
If I looked shocked, Embry looked as if he had become a ghost. His form was starkly ridged. Seth pulled me backwards, trying to judge the situation. Embry hadn't reacted this way since I had known him. Now, he seemed almost frozen. The uneasiness had Seth continuing his retreat with me until I was standing beside Flic. It was like Seth positioned us together, so if they needed to protect us they could do it with more ease.
Looking over, I watched Flic's hand disappear up the back of Embry's shirt. She slowly rubbed his back, each touch seeming to calm Embry, until finally, after a long while, he took a steadying breath.
Embry met my eyes, for the first time I recognized his were the same as mine. The same brown that saturated mine, his mirrored almost fleck for fleck. How did we miss that?
"Nice to make your acquaintance." Embry nodded his head at Frank.
Frank beamed at the two of us, like he just gotten a prize that he wasn't expecting. It was a lot of pressure, what was I meant to do? Say hi Dad, nice to meet you… then go to brunch?
We didn't have time for brunch. I needed to get to my Sam. Restlessly, I rocked back and forth on my feet, needing to find a tactful way to hurry this the fuck up. Dads are in your life forever, like it or not. I needed, in this moment, to make sure Sam was still game to be in my life forever. I hoped he would still like to be in my life forever.
"As nice as this is, we have imprints to reunite" I could hear the smile in Seth's voice.
"Oh yes. Of course" Renee shook her head, as if she was trying to be a supportive mother.
"Imprints?" Frank asked.
"Yes. Can you believe it our babies apparently imprinted?" Joshua poked his head out of the cockpit.
"Joshua, if your son is anything like you were…" Frank started.
"Listen, I haven't met the boy yet, so lets save the threats for after. For all we know, it could be your little girl that deserves the warning. I feel like my genetics would come out respectfully" Joshua winked at Frank.
It was weird, getting a glimpse to a world that could have been. I could have been raised beside Embry as true siblings, childhood memories and all. When Sam and I imprinted, it could have been as easy as breathing. No learning curve on my part, or guilt for leaving Renee. Instead, the melding of our two families. My heart hurt for that reality.
Actually, my heart hurt in general. I lifted my hand to my chest. Electric white hot pain plummeted through in bursts. Just enough to keep me on edge. As if I my heart was being pumped for me, like if it stopped.
"Something's wrong" I whispered.
"What?" Renee turned to look at me, her face was all smiles until she saw my expression.
"Bella, what is going on?" Joshua asked. He made a move to come closer.
Embry growled at him. It seemed only so much cordiality could be spared amongst shifters that are not in one's pack. I made to speak, but the pain bloomed in my chest again. Flic grabbed my arm, and then hissed, dropping it almost instantly. I saw blood coating her hand. Was I bleeding? Looking down, I only saw a handprint of blood where she touched me.
"You need to get her to Sam NOW!" Flic ordered.
Another woman met us on the tarmac. I couldn't focus enough to catch her name. Everyone seemed to move in fast forward. Either that, or my brain couldn't process what was occurring. At least, until I saw a house that I had visited a few times as a kid, mainly for sleepovers with Rachel, Leah, and Beck. Hands lifted me out of the car - I hadn't realized we had been in a car.
My feet touched the ground and I ran, knowing exactly where I needed to go, feeling the pull in my chest. Growling followed behind me, but I didn't care, knowing it was one of the wolves that I now considered my brothers.
In the centre of the yard, Sam was laying on his back, perched upon what could only be described as a wooden alter. I ran, ignoring the shouts or attempts to hold me back. Each person that did was ripped from my skin by one of my brothers. We had a singular mission, return me to my mate.
I mounted the alter, and subsequently, Sam. His form seemed lifeless, and my heart panicked. He needed to be alive. He couldn't be dead. I would have felt it, wouldn't I have? Leaning down, I brought my lips to his.
Sam was cold. Nothing happened. Tears dropped from my eyes, unhindered by the audience that I knew was gathered. I needed Sam. I needed him to come back to me. He was Mine. Nothing had the right to take him from me. Not even Sam himself could sever our connection, our bond.
Mine
Mine
Mine
My Friend
My Love
My Mate
My Sam
Then I felt it, a tremor of his lips against mine. I leaned up on my elbows, looking at him, trying to see if what I had felt was a figment of my imagination. Sam's eyes fluttered open, with the slowness one would expect from eyes that hadn't opened for years. I waited, holding my breath for him to focus on me, take a deep breath, and tell me to get the fuck off him. At this point, I didn't care. I just needed My Sam alive.
"My Bella" Sam spoke like a man viewing colour for the first time.
"Sam!" my cry was cut short.
Sam wrapped me in his arms, kissing me deeply. Our bond still felt fragile, like it wasn't cured yet. It had cured automatically the first time.
I could see Sam felt it too. Looking out, the yard was a mess of shouting. People standing, yelling, pointing. It looked to be on the verge of a fight.
Sam skillfully helped both of us down from the alter. Looking at the crowd, he turned towards the woods, sprinting us away from the chaos.
Happiness erupted in my chest. My Sam was in my arms, he was holding me. His lips found my neck, kissing down to my collarbone as he ran. The kisses grew more desperate. I knew exactly what he needed. My soul needed the same.
(Continue for fresh citrus)
The moment the air changed, Sam ripped my pants from my body. I gasped, feeling the cold air as we climbed the stairs. Sam seemed to know I was getting cold wandering through our home without pants, adjusting me so his large hot hands could hold my ass.
Once in our bedroom Sam pressed me up against the wall. His hands might have been holding me up, but it was his mouth that provided me a chair. Feeling him licking me, tasting, his wolf claiming what is his.
Reaching down I grabbed his hair, using it as leverage to rub myself against his face. His nose provided the much needed friction.
Sam growled against me, it was a needy noise. A giggle escaped me as both of us searched for reassurance. There was only one way that would come to fruition.
"Sam!" I cried out, clasping my legs around his head. I shook, revelling in the orgasm, knowing Sam would never let me fall.
Pulling me from the wall, Sam drank me like a fine wine. When he was satisfied that he licked every last drop off my skin, he cradled me to the bed.
Laying me down amongst our scents, I breathed deeply, loving the mix of him and I. The smell only intensified my need for him.
Licking my lips, I watched as he stripped his pants. He noticed my appreciation, taking his time, making my mouth water in anticipation.
"Sam" I moaned.
Presenting myself to him. Allowing him to drink me in as I did him.
"Bella" My name on his lips sounded like a prayer.
I watched as his eyes flashed amber, my wolf showing me that he was here. I wouldn't have it any other way. My Sam, My wolf, and Me.
Finally, the temptation dominated Sam's restraint. He climbed onto the bed, positioning himself squarely between my legs. I felt his tip perfectly placed, I only needed to rock my hips once and he would be inside.
"My Bella" Sam brushed the hair away from my face. Looking down at me with such reverence.
"My Sam" I reached up, cupping his face between my hands.
"We need to talk" I could hear the restraint in his tone.
He wanted me as much as I needed him. I should have never left this man. He was both the light of my life and the gravity in my world. Without him my universe was dark, and I would simply float away.
Pushing down on my leg, I managed to flip him to his back. I hovered over him, knowing talking was something we did need to do. Soon, so very soon, but not now.
"Sam" I could hear the need in my voice "Please"
"Bella, it was always yours to take."
He reached up, ripping my top off, leaving me completely bare to him. I shivered as his eyes drank me in. Holding his shoulders, I lowered myself onto him.
I lost myself in him, him in me, us together.
(Citrus time over)
My soul heated up, branding the previously shattered pieces back together. The pain was worth it, as I moaned and Sam howled. Our souls reconnected as one.
I found myself unbothered by the passing of time. Sam and I had collapsed into each others arms, after our souls stitched back together. They were almost stronger then before. Now, I felt like I could almost hear was Sam was thinking. I could only feel his emotions before.
The light streamed in from the huge windows, and the world lived the day. A day that I wasn't overly keen to join.
"Bella" Sam kissed the top of my head.
Looking up at him, I knew exactly what he wanted to do. Talk.
"I am sorry. I should have never let her get that close to me, let alone allow her to place her lips anywhere near me" Sam's voice cracked with desperation.
I leaned up, kissing him hard. The memory of Emily kissing him didn't hurt anymore, instead, I felt unbelievably protective. I had a feeling that if any woman looked at Sam too long, or in a too longing way, I would be ready to fight. He was Mine.
"It will never happen again" I told him.
"I promise it won't. Not with her, or anyone else" Sam kissed me, biting at my bottom lip.
"Good. Sam, you are mine. No one else is allowed to have you. Only me" I let my new possessiveness show.
Sam purred.
"You're good with my possessive side?" I questioned, if I needed to I would try to tamp it down.
"Love it. It's almost as strong as the possessiveness I feel for you" Sam smiled down at me.
"I don't think you could be more possessive then I am of you. Not a chance" I challenged him.
"Trust me. I will be more possessive over you. The freedom is still all yours, come and go as you please. As long as each night your cute ass is in bed next to me" Sam demanded.
"I think I can do that - as long as you promise me the same" I told him truthfully.
I knew I was feeling overly possessive about My Sam now that I had him back in my arms. Maybe it would be a passing phase that we would live through, if not, I still wanted him to have his freedom. It was just that everyone will know that I am the centre of his world, forever.
"I will promise you anything you ask. Are you ready to start the day?" Sam asked.
"No. God no" I let myself cuddle closer to Sam.
He laughed not arguing. I felt his fingers tracing patterns on my skin.
"If we are not getting up, will you tell me who I have to thank about getting you home safe?"
I told Sam the story, keeping out a bit of the unpleasantness, I didn't need to add to the pain. Eventually I will warn him, just in case this happens in the future with a different imprinted pair. I learned my lesson, the place for me to be will forever be wherever the hell My Sam is.
"My Dad's here?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. He said he was your Dad. He can fly a plane, and seems nice" I tried to frame his dad's return in a good light.
I could feel his conflicting thoughts and emotions. My arms squeezed him harder, trying to offer him some more comfort.
"Is he Embry's Dad?"
"No. My Dad is apparently also Embry's dad" I told him. It felt weird, giving words to the truth.
"Charlie? I didn't think he would be that kind of guy. Regardless of age, I guess I just always pictured him as upstanding and proper" The shock in Sam's voice was palpable.
"No" I laughed. "Not Charlie. My dad is apparently Frank River, the old man from the parties was right." I shrugged, still trying to process the information myself.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Can we talk about something else? I have a feeling it is all that people are going to want to talk about for a while." I asked.
Sam kissed the top of my head, more then willing to change his line of questioning. I was grateful, it wasn't like I was trying to keep this from Sam. I just wasn't fully ready to re-align my life to the truth. If I could stay in my bubble of being Charlie's daughter for another minute, I felt like I would be able to breath easier.
"Wait, Flic gave you something to drink at your Mom's, and on the plane?" Sam paused my story multiple times to ask questions.
"Yeah. Each time it helped." I told him honestly.
"I… I also needed a witch to deal with our separation" Sam admitted. "I will introduce you to her soon, we must protect her. The pack has never been a big fan of witches. I fear if they learned of two that are living-" Sam paused "nearby, it might cause the council to make some rash decisions."
"We need to protect Flic too. She is going to imprint on Embry and Seth, well maybe they have, they seemed close on the plane."
"They haven't. Alpha order is still in place."
"Alpha order?"
"Yeah. Jake put it in place at request of a few council members. They apparently got a weird vibe from her." Sam sounded disappointed.
"What council members?" I growled.
Over the last few hours, I had gotten attached to Flic. There were some people demanding that she remain unhappy, and that wasn't fair.
"Promise to not go on a witch hunt?" Sam laughed. I poked him in his stomach. "Okay, okay. Well, for obvious starters, Billy. It only takes a few of the council to ask the Alpha to make an order. The key word is ask, it was never supposed to be a demand. I think Jake felt forced to put the order in place."
"Surely Jake has said no to his Dad before"
"He has. It was the other person who asked for the order to be put in place. Jake has a harder time saying no to them." Sam admitted.
"It was only two people?" I demanded.
"Yeah, two people, it wasn't an official council meeting, or even council request. Mainly because not all the council was present for the request. Due to the order being placed at a wedding, however, the request didn't need to be overly official" Sam explained.
"That makes sense. Though it was at Seth's moms wedding, who would want to stand in the way of him imprinting? Especially on a day that was already so important to the family?" I asked.
Guilt stung at my heart, I might have ruined their wedding with my abrupt departure. I would need to make it up to them, somehow. If I could, knowing that I am not Charlie's daughter.
"We would have to ask Sue about that" Sam stroked my back as he spoke.
"What do you mean?" I lifted my head off his chest to look at his face.
"Sue was the second council member to request the order" Sam had a slight fire to his voice.
My stomach flipped, what kind of mom would want to prevent their child's happiness? What will Seth do when he finds out his own mother requested him to live without Flic?
Questions spun in my mind, only ceasing when a knock sounded at the door.
Sam let out a little growl, grabbing the blanket from the floor to cover us. He looked at me and I nodded.
"What?" Sam barked at the door.
The door opened a crack.
"Hey, I held them off as much as I could, there is a pack meeting happening in an hour." Embry spoke through the crack.
"Topic?" Sam asked.
"The exiled pack"
Author Note: YAY! They are back together again! Please continue to the reviews for the celebration! Also I would love to know what you are thinking, as always please put your questions, comments, and today celebrations in the reviews!
