"We can't keep avoiding this."
Lisa took a deep breath and looked up at the living room's overhead light. She'd told Jack yesterday that she needed to dust it, but that was beside the point right now. Sadly, though, dusting it and every inch of the house sounded better than the conversation they were apparently about to have.
"I, ahh," she let out a long, slow breath almost as if she was letting out every bit of oxygen she had in her body as she turned not only her head, but her body toward Jack. "I just don't want to discuss any life without you. We both did our wills. To me, that's all that needs to be said or done."
"But," Jack frowned and let out a sigh of his own as he glanced to her, his eyes briefly meeting hers before she had to look down at her fingers that were antsy, picking off invisible lint from her shirt. "It's not. It's not all that needs to be said or done."
He waited for her to look at him, and finally she did, whether she realized he wasn't going to look away or she just happened to look up and catch his eye. She now had some tears forming in her eyes, but she took another deep breath and gave him a sad smile, "I love you."
"Well, I'd hope," he said with a single nod, his facial expression soft but void of expression. "I mean, otherwise, you've wasted almost two decades of your life already dealing with the likes of me. Lise," he reached for her hand and clasped it in his, both of their hands almost clammy now with this awkward, but needed conversation, "this conversation isn't about questioning if you or I love the other. I mean, that is a non-negotiable, but this is more how you go on without me."
Lisa bit her lip and looked away, their hands still clasped. She silently shook her head as she continued to look away, but Jack cleared his throat and continued, knowing she wouldn't turn toward him until she had her composure. When that was, he wasn't sure, but this had to be said.
"I want you to find someone else and remarry."
"What?" Lisa's head snapped around. Apparently, that had gotten her attention, Jack not knowing it would spark that type of reaction. She also jerked her hand from his, mostly because she started waving it around as she often did when she was flustered. "Why on Earth would you say that?"
He shrugged and looked at Lisa like it was the most normal thing to suggest, "Because it's what I want you to do."
"Well," she crossed her arms in defense and glared at him, "that's a really stupid thing to say, Jack, and if we'd done what you want me to do years ago, we wouldn't be sitting here together," she gestured between them. "I'd be miserable and alone in France, and if you hadn't just given up on life from a lonely, broken heart years ago, you'd be a bitter and probably an incorrigible old cowboy here making everyone miserable."
Jack raised an eyebrow, "You mean, I'm not."
Lisa rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. She appreciated on one level he was trying to keep the conversation as light as possible, but the topic was as deep and as heavy as one could get. She sighed loudly and looked away, still shaking her head.
"My point is, Jack," she said, drawing out his name as if he had crossed her last nerve, which he was certain he had, "you don't get to make all of OUR decisions. We make them together; we've definitely learned over the years this only works," she gestured between them, "if we make decisions together, even if it's for one of our jobs. I didn't go buy Bo or any of my other expensive race horses without talking it through with you because it meant ramping up my business. You didn't buy Mitch's cattle or now consider expanding to bison without talking to me. That's what we do."
Jack pursed his lips and nodded, waving his hand, "Which is why I want to discuss this now and brought it up. I want you to meet someone and remarry."
"I'm not doing that," Lisa crossed her arms and bit her lip again. She briefly only moved her hand to wipe at a tear forming again.
"Why not?" Jack asked.
"Why not?" Lisa's voice cracked, and she turned to him, looking like he was crazy for even asking. "Why not?" This time, Lisa gestured with her hands in the air again. "I'm married to you."
"Not when I'm dead."
She swatted at him with that answer, and truthfully, he wasn't surprised. Lisa finally turned toward him again, this time wiping actual tears off her face. Her voice cracked again as she tried to answer but finally had to take a deep breath, "I don't have nor will I ever have any desire to meet someone else, as you said, and remarry. Period. I love you. I always will. You are the love of my life." At that, she gave him a teary, sad smile, and Jack reached over and first, with his old, calloused hand, wiped at her tears, but then, he took her hand in his again, her soft, delicate hand to his rough, old one, squeezing it for reassurance. He shifted so that he was facing her at a better angle than he had been.
Jack nodded and cleared his throat again, glancing up and meeting her sad gaze. He spoke quietly, "You, Lisa, are the love of my life." Lisa whimpered and made almost a choking sound, and Jack patted her hand as he nodded, "You know I love you, and I know that's something I've never really said that out loud and I should have, long before now because you deserve to know that, but you absolutely are, and I don't mean that as any disrespect to Lyndy, but I'm telling you that I want you to remarry because look at what I would have missed out on had I not only found you, but taken that chance and fallen so deeply in love with you. I hadn't experienced this level of deep, emotional love until I met you. Promise. The last 18 years have meant more to me than anything I could have imagined. To me, if you could find what I found, I want that for you."
"I have found it," she said, choking out the words now, shaking her head. "Don't you get it? No one will ever even come close to you. I don't want to find someone else when the man I love more than anything is right here."
"But," he said slowly, pursing his lips again, "Lise, that's the point. I'm so much older than you are. There's no secret that my day is coming," and he held up his hand in defense. "No, we both know I'm not suggesting something is wrong, but I'm 85. Sure," he gave a half smile, "I hear all the time I don't look or act it, but I am. I hate the idea of leaving you, but neither of us can do anything about that day when it comes, and I want to know that eventually, after grieving for me, you can and will be happy. You will get back out there and find someone to spend the later years of your life. Lise," he tugged at her hand, "you're 60. You're younger now than I was when I met you. You could have this very long live still ahead of you-"
"And so could you," Lisa interrupted, using the back of her thumb again to wipe at her face. Jack pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped at her face before he balled it up and put it in her hand, squeezing her hand at their contact. Lisa let out a long sigh and continued, "You're talking to me as if your life is over today. It's not," she shook her head, adding, "not at all. You have a good bill of health. Your blood pressure has stayed in check since your heart attack, gosh, 12 years ago now, Jack. You're 85, not 105. You are healthy for your age. You could still live another 10, even 15 years-"
"Or I could die tomorrow," he cut back in and frowned. Lisa's inward gasp at that notion was a sound that seemed to cut through the entire house.
"Well," she nodded back at him, now, her face trying to be void of emotion, "so could I. Happens all the time to people my age and younger."
"Lise," he sighed, squeezing their joined hands, "I know this conversation is hard, but it's what I want for you."
"Why?" Lisa dabbed at her eyes with a shrug. "Why are you so intent on my meeting someone and getting remarried? I've been married twice. I don't want to do that again, not when I so absolutely adore you. I don't want to try to replace that-"
"I see Amy," Jack waved his hand and shook his head, his lips tight as he continued to shake his head. "She says she's trying to move on, but she's not. She is still grieving after all these years, and it's not healthy, Lise. It's not. It would be one thing if I felt she was just focused on being a mom, her career, whatever, but she has this inner sadness that isn't getting any better. She's too young to be so sad, so alone. It's not about her being able to be on her own, just as it isn't that about you either. You two are both incredibly strong and independent women. Most would think you are related by blood with the grit and determination you both have. It's that I now know how wonderful life can be with someone you love, and I know you know it too, so why wouldn't you try to find that love again?"
"It cannot be replaced," Lisa said, lifting their hands and almost pounding them down together onto the couch. "It can't, and I won't. I'm not Amy," she said, meeting his gaze. "I only mean that I'm not a young woman with a little girl to raise. She lost him before she was even 30 years old, and you're right-that is a long time to live alone and without loving someone, but that's not me. I also can see why she struggles to move on because Ty was the love of her life, just as you are the love of mine. Would you turn around and find someone else after burying me?"
"NO!" Jack exclaimed, looking to her as if he was horrified she suggested it. "I mean, not that day. I'd maybe wait a month or so-"
Lisa's head snapped up, and she started to whimper again at Jack's poor attempt at a joke. He had started to chuckle lightly, hoping to ease the tension, but seeing her expression, he schooled his features and leaned in, cupping her face. "I'm sorry. That was a bad joke, and you know I deflect to things like that when things are tense. No, I wouldn't find someone else, but it's different-"
"No, it's not," Lisa shook her head. "To your point, you wouldn't want me to spend any years I have left alone. What if I only had five, six years?"
"Five or six years with someone you love is better-"
"You could have five, six years yourself," she eyed him, her look Jack knew well, one that told him she wasn't going to back down. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
"Fine," he finally relented, nodding at her. "I only want you to know, that when I die," he glanced up and saw her take a sharp breath, shuddering as she did, "I want you to be happy, and if that means one day finding someone better to love, I am happy for you and want that for you. I will be waiting in Heaven to hear all about him."
She shook her head again, swallowing hard, "That's not what I want. There isn't someone better. Don't you get it? You're all I've ever wanted, Jack. I absolutely adore you. This is one of the reasons I don't want to discuss this. I don't want to discuss life after you, you," she waved her hand.
"Die." Jack finished her sentence, nodding as she let out a very long, loud drawn breath. He glanced at her, and eventually, she glanced at him. Lisa pursed her lips and gestured.
"I'm going to get some air."
"Lise-" Jack called for her, but she had already started to stand. As much as he didn't want to admit it, she moved much faster than he did, their ages evident in that. Lisa pulled at her shirt, Jack knowing that motion, Lisa tugging at a cardigan that she wasn't wearing, almost her comfort object when she needed just that, comfort. Jack turned his head from his seated position and watched as Lisa, shoulders dropped as if in defeat, made her way quickly toward the door.
The conversation wasn't over, not when they'd just started it. At this point, it was worth just getting everything out in the open. Putting off the rest of this conversation would only hang in the air over them, and that wasn't healthy. He had felt this senses of dread for the last several days, ever since Jess had been contacted by her dying father, a man she hadn't spoken to in decades, but a man the same age as Jack. It had definitely been a bit of a kick in the gut when she'd told the family about the letter over dinner, and Jack had eyed Lisa several times. When the two had finally made eye contact, neither had to ask the other what they were thinking; the age similarity was on the forefront of their minds, and yes, as much as they both dreaded a conversation like this, it had to happen. He'd mentioned that later as they were turning out the lights and getting into bed.
"You know, Jess," Jack said, as he groaned shifting into the bed and pulling up the covers. He glanced at Lisa and continued, waving one hand, "it's good her dad is reaching out before-"
"He passes away," Lisa nodded, rubbing cream on her hands before she turned and shifted back up against her pillow. She turned her head to Jack and frowned, "Although, knowing neither of us are too terribly fond of Jess, something tells me that more is on your mind."
"Same thing that I think is on your mind," Jack returned the look, reaching for her hand that she had there between them. He brought their joined hands up and kissed hers, "It's no secret he's the same age I am-"
"Jack," she sighed, shaking her head and reaching over to turn out her light.
"Lise, we need to talk about the future, about me," he paused and frowned, waving his free hand, "about life for your after I die."
With the lights now off, Lisa shifted to get comfortable, still holding Jack's hand in hers. She squeezed it before she let go of it, Jack then taking the opportunity to wrap his arm around her there now as she turned on her side. She was avoiding him, avoiding the discussion, not that he exactly wanted to have it here after a lovely evening. He rested his head there by her neck and spoke quietly, "We need to talk over some things, not tonight, but soon. Lisa reached for his hand again, which now he had resting on her hip, and she clasped their fingers together.
"Right now, I just want to sleep, just like this we are both here and alive, and some day, I will want this type of memory right here. That's all I have to say about this right now."
As that soft moment replayed in Jack's memory, a moment from just a few nights ago, Jack sighed and did push himself up, almost glad Lisa wasn't there to see him grimace and groan as he did. He agility wasn't a shock to her; he could never hide feeling stiff, sore, and just plain old. Riding a horse wasn't his problem; in fact, riding a horse was keeping him young still .They'd had some hints of conversations like this in the past, the most recent being after he'd broken all those ribs, but then, Lisa had just been irritated with the entire situation that she wasn't in a mood to actually discuss life without Jack. She'd said over and over that she wasn't ready to face that yet, and the conversation had been left at that. Now, though, Jack just had this nagging feeling that since the door had been opened, they needed to finish their conversation, and as hard as it was, he turned and made his way toward the door, intent on making his wishes known, knowing full well that one day, his passing would absolutely crush Lisa, and truly, he hated the thought of that. Yes, she was stronger than anyone he knew, but yes, he also felt just how deeply she loved him because truthfully, he'd been 100% honest when he'd told her she was the love of his life. Thinking about what life without Lisa would be like was almost a paralyzing fear, and while that notion was far-fetched, leaving Lisa alone was much more probable, so yes, he knew this was hard, gut-wrenching, but it was the time and the place to put all cards on the table.
Deep down, he did hope he had another 10 or 15 years with Lisa because no, he wasn't at all done living their life.
Jack closed the screen door gently, a stark contrast to how most entering or leaving the house let the door slam shut. Thinking about it, Lisa had closed it gently too when she'd stepped out, not that he expected anything other than that. Well, perhaps in other times, when they'd had a 'slight disagreement' she'd gone for a walk and let the door snap shut, but today, she hadn't. In her own way, she'd quietly let Jack know that she wasn't angry but was having a very hard time with this entire conversation.
She was leaning up against the massive wood column there, looking out over the ranch. Hearing that she was not alone, she wiped at her face again. Jack sighed and walked up behind her and wrapped one around around her waist and put his head on her shoulder by her ear.
"I'm sorry this is a hard conversation to have."
She shuddered a sob and shook her head, "I just don't know why you are so intent on my finding someone else. It's like you are already trying to pawn me off on someone."
"No," he chuckled quietly, kissing her cheek. "Come on, Lise. You know me. I just hate the idea of disappointing you, and let's face it-my dying will be the ultimate disappointment."
Apparently, his joking tone had gone too far because Lisa burst into all out tears and dropped her head. Jack sighed, realizing the error of his ways and turned her toward him, Lisa burying her sobs into his chest. He did his best to console her, rubbing his hand up and down her back. He could feel her tears moist on his shirt and sighed as he rested his head on top of hers. As odd of a couple as they had first been, they just 'fit,' and this was exactly proof of that. He loved how with their height difference, Lisa fit just perfectly under his chin. It was comforting, almost like feeling home. She was home to him.
"Listen," he said quietly, still holding tightly to her, "it's no secret you've cut back considerably on your travel. Your business has not slowed, so I know that has to do some with me, with being here. Long ago when I did have my heart attack, I remember you telling me that you hated yourself for not being here, for the two of us being broken up and you being in France. You said almost the same thing after Will died, and you found me at the cabin. You were even frustrated that you were at Fairfield when I got hurt at the rodeo. Lise, I know that even if you don't want to admit it, it's on your mind too."
He felt Lisa clutch his shirt tightly as she balled it into her hands, still upset, still not ready to look at him. He kissed her head and just held her, finally speaking when he felt his voice could get through it.
"You are right that you have made the last almost 20 years more enjoyable than they ever could have been, and I'm so lucky to have you. I do hope we have another 20, as probably unrealistic as that is, Sweetheart, I do want to talk over some things. I don't want my end to then have you constantly in mourning. I want you to be able to celebrate this wonderful and unexpected life we had together. If you think back, Lise, we weren't even sure we'd have a life together. I messed up at every turn, pushed you away. Then, even after my heart attack, I wasn't sure I'd live another year, even after I got over my stubbornness and saw that we were miserable apart, that even being married to you a day was better than not. Look where we are, Lise-married now over 11 years. Man, never could have seen that coming, so you are right-we don't know how many more years we have to enjoy together, but I'm just trying to prepare you for the inevitable. With how I normally dodge tough conversations or relationship topics with you, you should know how hard this is for me to put out there, but I am concerned about your future, a future without me."
Finally, Lisa raised her head and there, in close proximity, looked up at Jack, her face red and swollen from crying. "Some of this avoidance is that yes," she nodded there with his arms loosely around her, "I am very aware of our age difference. It's always been there, dangling in the background, but it's never been an issue, at least for me. I honestly cannot fathom a life at all without you; I don't want to think about that, and the thought of any time without you, let alone five, 10, 15 years, goodness even longer-Jack, that is gut wrenching. I think about how much you have changed and improved my life these last 20 years, and I don't want to think about having to live life without you by my side. You are my best friend, my truest confidant, my deepest love, and I will never ever find that again. I don't want to. I don't want to try and replace you or open up to someone else. You are my everything. This conversation is hard because I don't care about the monetary things, at least between us. Yes, I was set on having our wills updated long ago because I wanted the kids to be set. That was important to me, but what you and I have," she paused and took a deep breath, "being with you is the most important thing to me."
"I know," he nodded, running his hands up and down her arms as he nodded. "You're the most important thing to me, even when I get all worked up about the ranch or the cattle. It's still you, so know I value you so much more than 600-family acres or a herd of cattle."
"Flattering," she said with a sigh and slight roll of her eyes, the first hint of her joking about anything.
"But," he paused again and waited for her to meet his gaze, "that does bring me to another part of this discussion. I'm willing to let the other go. I mean, I spoke my peace, and you have my blessing to move on. I also know you are stubborn and have already made up your mind you wouldn't be open to that, even though I found the most amazing and loving person when I was even older than you are now." He offered her a small smile, and she just nodded, not able to even return his smile. "We need to talk about a few things, though because a lot was left just for your to handle, I mean, how we left our wills. I do want to talk about that though, please."
Lisa cleared her throat and nodded, "Let's just get this over, but I would ask that this be the last we discuss this, Jack. We are both aware of time, and we will have put the cards on the table. After this, I just want to enjoy our life together. Yes, I've cut back on travel. Yes, it's partly because I want to be here with you, but it's also because I'm getting older too. I know you joke about how much younger I am, but still, age is age. I don't enjoy the high-roller lifestyle. The appeal isn't there like it was. It's not fun like it was, and yes, I've told you that I'd prefer a home-cooked meal and my slippers to about anything, but you're right-I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened while I was away-"
"Lise," he frowned at her and shook his head. "Please don't live like that. Don't live in the worry. You could be in town, having lunch with one of the girls at Maggie's. There's no perfect situation. I do understand that being away is a struggle, but don't stop living now. I'm here. I'm still riding and working, and most of all, loving you." He nudged her, and she just pursed her lips and looked away, off toward the barn.
"What else do you need to discuss? I'm really wanting to be done with this conversation, but I know walking away and avoiding it isn't going to finish it any sooner."
"It's not, and I'd like to finish this conversation too. I see a pond out there begging for a lovely couple to take a walk around it with the evening sun."
"Well," she sighed, stepping back and gesturing toward it, "let's walk and talk. I don't think I can sit here and just take more without something to focus on. We both love the pond."
"We do," he nodded, reaching out for her hand. She put her hand in his, and the two were quiet as they walked down the stairs, across the yard, beyond their pair of rough and elegant parked cars, and once they had cleared all of that, Jack looked over at Lisa while they continued their walk.
"I know that, looking back on it, I realize I pawned off a lot of the estate planning to you."
"Oh?" Lisa glanced to Jack, somewhat surprised with the direction of the conversation. "We did our wills together, years ago, after my health scare."
"We did," he nodded. "However, Ieft things in a vague state, really for you to have to handle. Yes, we discussed things, but Lise, it's no secret, I mean between you and me, that my will reads all of this is left for you to handle and portion out. I didn't split up the ranch and other property, not on paper. We agreed that it would just be thrown all into the big pot of real estate to really be handled when something eventually happens to you, all of it, a free for all so to speak for the kids."
"I remember," she nodded, keeping her head focused on the ground. "I told you that I was okay with whatever you wanted. I was okay if you wanted to section off Heartland for the girls. As you pointed out, this will be the first of the generations to have more than one heir. As you know, when my dad died, Fairfield became mine, and my sister got the cash equivalent. Dad luckily had the money to do so, and we were both okay with that. I also told you that I was more than okay with yes, throwing Fairfield and the house in Toulon into that pot eventually, parceling out all of it as we discussed, but," she paused and then looked up at him, "has something changed?"
Jack frowned as his eyes met his wife's beautiful but now saddened eyes, "Only that I'm realizing I've saddled you with a problem, and I definitely don't want to do that to you."
"How so?"
"Leaving everything to you, being so vague, I realized it's going to frustrate the girls, both Lou and Amy. I don't want them to give you a hard time, so even though you and I have talked about all of this and have our plan. I think it needs to be something I actually write down and not just keep it simple saying all goes to you until you pass and have to portion it all out then. That's not fair, and I would be doing exactly what I've done for years. Think back to when we got married, how I botched that up with the girls-I don't want a repeat with you and the girls all frustrated at me in the grave."
"Jack," she shook her head, "I've told you that I will do whatever you like. I don't need you to leave anything to me. I don't deserve any of it. It's your family ranch."
Jack stopped walking and turned toward her, his expression one of shock, "Lise, how can you say that? Even after all these years, I sometimes don't think you believe you are in this family too. You're not some outsider looking in, even if," he frowned and shook his head, "I know it felt like that early on, partly because I was an idiot who wouldn't marry you when I should have and then hid it for too long when I did. What's mine is yours. You've saddled me with a high end stable and those fancy race horses if something happens to you-why-because I'm your husband. That's how it's done. I want this to be easier on you, and taking care of you, even if my millionaire wife doesn't think she needs it-is part of this for me."
Lisa frowned and looked away, toward the pond, where they could hear some geese and frogs. For the brief moment the two were quiet enough, they could even hear a fish jump and make a splash.
"So, what does this mean?"
"Hear me out," he put his free hand up in defense, his other still joined tightly with hers. "Everything stays as we discussed but I spell it out that all of this is left for you to handle, specifically the business end, until either something happens to you or you decide to split it according to what I just need to write down. I know we've talked about the specifics-"
"When I die, the ranch is split," Lisa cut in nodding, "300 acres for Amy and 300 for Lou. Lou's 300 acres includes the dude ranch because that was already set up for her. Amy's 300-acres includes the house."
Jack nodded, frowning as she spelled things out, "Listen, we talked about all of this is left to you initially because that is easiest. This is your home, too, Lise, and I don't want things to get strange with the girls. Leaving it all to you ensures it doesn't get strange at home. I hope after all these years, you realize Heartland is your home. I understand if you would want to go back to Fairfield, but what's mine is yours. Our room is our room. You are just as important to me as any other family in that house, so the way I see it, if all falls to you, there is no discussion from the girls. Things carry on. The girls carry on. There is no reason to argue or challenge anything. Tim can run the day to day and is lucky I will not disinherit him-"
"He does get the cattle. I know," she nodded. "I, ahh," she pursed her lips, "get everything else to keep it simple, but Tim is about the only one spelled out to get something specific, the cattle and Heartland Beef."
"Well," Jack said with a shake of his head, "we jointly own them and Heartland Beef so he should have them, and you definitely don't want to be saddled with cattle, not with the rest of the place. I'd never ask you to go into business with Tim. We saw what a disaster that was years and years ago when he was meddling in that race horse sale, trying to pit you against Dan. Yes, as much as I spelled out that, I need to spell out the other and reasons to keep it simple for now. I don't want the girls thinking I was not right in the head, specifically leaving something to Tim but not to them."
"They won't think that," Lisa squeezed his hand, eyeing him. "You and Tim have come a long way to a point where neither want to admit you are each other's best friend."
"You're my best friend," Jack nudged her and nudged them to continue walking around the pond. "I am going to put all of this down in writing. I just wanted you to know that and know it's not because I think you won't follow through with our wishes. It's the opposite. I am not going to leave our wishes to rest solely on your shoulders. We both have said that splitting the ranch property shouldn't be a surprise to the girls."
"No," Lisa pursed her lips and nodded in agreement. "As for the other, the properties, are you still thinking as we discussed?"
He eyed her, "Course I am. Lise, this is not about changing things around. It's about my not pawning the dirty work off on you. I don't need the girls to think you're some gold digger."
Lisa now chuckled, the first she'd really done, and then nodded, "Something tells me that if anything, that would not be their reaction."
"I know, maybe not the right choice of words, but I don't want it to be them against you. You are so lovely and are giving them your everything. It just needs to be spelled out-by me-so when the time comes, the girls know this was something you and I decided-TOGETHER."
Lisa let her breath out slowly and in a ragged fashion. She now looked out across the pond, "So Tim takes the herd and all of Heartland Beef as we said. We all stay at Heartland-"
"Only if you want to," Jack cut in, looking right at her. "It's your home, but I hope you will stay. The girls need you as much as you need them. You're family."
She nodded and continued, "Ahh, when something happens to me or I just decide enough is enough with the properties, the house in France goes to Georgie-"
"She and Quinn are the only ones who enjoy the international travel, Lise, as we've said, and they do like being in Europe. Your stable there can be absorbed into Quinn's family operation because we both know it's only a matter of time before those two get married."
Lisa nodded and continued, "Ahh, Katie gets the fishing cabin and that beautiful property-"
Jack gave a shake of his head, "She's the only great-granddaughter who enjoys going up there, and yes, I'd like to keep it in the family. I can see her someday building a small place there to escape and write. She did that on the trip we took her on in the shack that place has become. Yes, she should have that. The land is worth more than anyone would guess."
"I know," Lisa nodded, gesturing. "You realize I sit down and pay the property tax bills with you each year. I know the value on it."
"That then leaves Lyndy," Jack paused and looked down at Lisa there.
She nodded, "Yes, it does." Lisa raised an eyebrow at Jack, "Are you sure you want to put this on paper? This is a big part of why it was okay for all of it to be left to me to be then just doled out at my passing. She's still little."
It was Jack's turn to raise an eyebrow at Lisa, "I thought I was sticking around for another what, 10 or 15 years?"
"You know what I mean," Lisa sighed, not wanting to joke about any of this. Normally, she might have teased him with a swat, but she just held her pursed lips and concerned look.
"Yes, I'm sure, as long as you're still sure about it-"
"Leaving Fairfield to Lyndy? Yes, we both agreed that made the most sense. She's a horse girl like her mom. Now, unlike her cousins, she won't have any fortune coming at her. Lou and Peter are well off and will leave plenty to the girls. Amy is Amy and while she would argue she doesn't need anything, you and I believe Lyndy will take on Fairfield. If she doesn't want to, that is okay too. She will find the right buyer. All of the money from our estate is pooled and split evenly-Lou, Amy, Georgie, Katie, and Lyndy.
"Yes, just as we said," he nodded. "None of them will want for anything, but I do want this spelled out, for all of them to hear when something happens to me because I don't want to pass the buck. That's the big half of this discussion I wanted to have. I'm sorry we need to discuss this, but we do. We aren't talking about a few horses and a truck to pass down to someone. We've created quite the empire, you and me, and it does need to be dispersed with as few hard feelings as possible."
Lisa nodded but then glanced to him and patted his chest, "I've told you. I will walk away if it's easier if that time comes. I'll move back to Fairfield and let them have this place-"
"Lise, "he cut her off, eyeing her, "this is your home. This is your family. Family sticks together, and I believe we have a very solid plan for things. We always have, but I need to step up and not just let me will read that it's all left to you. That's not fair."
She nodded, pursing her lips and then glancing to him again, "I don't want your truck. That's for sure." Jack chuckled and pulled her toward him at her joke, one of the only joking moments of the afternoon. He kissed her head.
"That truck should bring in some money at least, maybe enough for-"
She glanced up from their tight embrace, "Enough to cover the tow truck cost to haul it out of here? Maybe."
"You just never imagined you'd own such a fine vehicle."
"We can agree I never dreamed I would own such a vehicle. That is correct. A fine vehicle, yes," she nodded, "my Porsche is. Yours-that is a huge stretch. Now, is that all? I really hate this conversation."
"That's all, promise. I'm going to write up what we just discussed, have you look it over, and then I'll seal it up for the girls-"
"I don't need or want to read that," Lisa stepped back and patted his chest. "Please understand that. This is hard enough for me to even think about."
"Okay," he nodded. "I'll leave it to be read, but I need you to promise that you won't handle things all alone. Promise, Lise," he said, taking both her hands in his.
She teared up again and looked off over the pond, "I won't handle it alone because I won't be able to handle it alone. I really won't."
He nudged her, "You're much stronger than you think. You will. You'll convince yourself you need to be the strong one for the girls, but let them help you. They all still have their own families, and yes, as you are very much part of this big family, I know this will be worst on you. It would be worst on me, but I'm not going to have to worry about that. You are."
"Maybe I don't want yo to go first," she said, her lips tight as she nodded. "I really don't."
He looked down at her and waited for her eyes to meet his, "Someone, and I mean someone younger than me, needs to be around to watch over this family, and I don't mean Tim. You're younger than he is anyway. They are going to need you as much as you are going to need them. With you, they still have part of me, and I need that reassurance. You spoil all of them rotten. Throw money at them from our estate as you want. Pamper them with lavish trips because you can, because you know that I am happy you are still here to do so."
She looked him in the eye, "I don't need those things with you, the lavish trips-"
"I know," he nodded. "We've been a good pair all these years, however more we are blessed with having."
"So, with that in mind, and talk about trips, let's go, I mean, to the fishing cabin. Seems the last couple trips we've either had last minute guests or interruptions like sick horses at Fairfield. Let's just go."
Jack studied her and then glanced out over the pond, the sun setting on the late spring evening. He turned back and nodded at Lisa, a small smile on his face now, "Let's just go. Tomorrow. Neither of us have work that has to be done. Let's go to the fishing cabin, enjoy the solitude, enjoy our time together."
She nodded, tears in her eyes again, "We started something pretty great that first trip to the fishing cabin, and that's where I want our memories to continue."
"No arguments from me, and besides, I need to beat you at fly fishing for once. Seems like I taught you to fish too well. Oh, by the way," Jack bumped her hip with his as they continued their evening walk now having rounded the pond, heading back toward the barn, "I love you too. Didn't say it back to you earlier, but I hope this conversation goes without saying that I only have eyes for you."
