Polis Massa
Hours Later
"Murdered younglings he did!" Yoda snarled.
"He did," Older Luke said, "but he was also manipulated and groomed by Palpatine. In any case, we need young Vader's help to kill Palpatine."
"We do not," cyborg Vader intoned. "I will kill him."
"You can kill him in your own timeline," Older Luke said soothingly. "In this timeline, it makes sense for your counterpart to do it. If you show up as a cyborg on Coruscant, Palpatine is going to know something super crazy is happening and be on his guard. If young Vader shows up with me; and I think, Yoda; we can not only kill Palpatine, but kill him in a creative way."
This provoked bewildered looks from everyone except his twin, who had found a protein bar and was munching away at it.
"Creative?" Padme echoed.
"Yeah," Older Luke said, and rolled his eyes. "I don't like to whine, but I have killed Palpatine so many times that just chopping him to bits, or sticking a lightsaber through his gut, is getting dull. I like to play around a little these days, to keep royal assassination fresh."
This stunned most of his audience into silence, except for Leia, who finished chewing and swallowed the last bite of her protein bar, took a swig of water, and then said with just a hint of excitement, "Do you have any fun ideas?"
Older Luke leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, and then said, "Yeah, I do."
/
Birthing Suite
Polis Massa
Ten Hours Later
"Oh!" Padme groaned, her face sweaty and her fists clenched. "Oh, how it hurts!"
"You can take medication," Leia said, wiping her Alter mother on the face with a cloth. "There is no shame in it."
"I wanted a natural birth," Padme whimpered after the contraction had subsided.
"I understand," Leia replied, "and that is entirely reasonable, but it is only going to get harder from here on out."
Padme gulped at these words, and then turned a desperate eye on a med droid hovering nearby.
"Give me drugs," she ordered in her most regal tone.
"As you wish," the droid replied, and floated off in search of the good stuff.
Padme endured another contraction with gritted jaw and bugging eyes, and then accepted, gratefully, a small pill which lowered the pain to an acceptable level.
"I wish Anakin were here for the babies' births," she said mournfully to her Alter Daughter.
"He needs to kill Palpatine," Leia said, "and anyway, I know it doesn't feel this way, but you do have an Anakin here."
She pointed at Vader, who was standing like a monolith in the corner, his gaze entirely fixed on his Alter Wife.
Padme looked at Vader, and then sighed and said, "I don't want to be rude, but you don't look much like Anakin."
"He would say that any trace of Anakin was burned out of him at Mustafar, though that isn't actually true. In our timeline, he turned back to the Light to save Luke's life," Leia said, and then gestured toward a large, empty chair in the corner, which floated into the air over to land next to the cyborg. "Could you please sit down. All that looming is unnecessary."
Vader obeyed, though he kept his mask pointed directly toward his sort of wife.
"You should get that hand fixed," Leia suggested.
Vader looked down at his right arm, which was indeed missing a hand, and then rumbled, "I will watch over Padme to keep her safe."
"You can get a new hand fitted while watching over her," Leia said.
"That is not necessary."
"It is necessary," Leia argued. "As much as you would like to stay here with Padme, you can't, and when you go back to your own timeline, it is best if are ready to fight. Who knows what stupid thing the Force will do; you might get dumped right in Palpatine's Throne room!"
/
Outside the Birthing Suite
Polis Massa
"I just can't believe this," young Luke Skywalker said mournfully. "Obi-Wan told me that my father was a Jedi. How could he … how could you … deceive me when in fact Darth Vader is my father?"
Obi-Wan Kenobi, who was feeling thoroughly discombobulated after a peculiar few days, turned toward the young man and sighed deeply. "I am not, of course, the Obi-Wan you knew," he said, "but if I were to guess, well, once Anakin turned to the Dark Side he was lost forever, I am afraid…"
"That isn't what Older Luke said before he left with Yoda and young Vader," Luke said stubbornly.
Obi-Wan opened his mouth in protest, then closed it and slumped into a nearby chair with an expression of exhaustion.
"I have no idea what is going on," he confessed. "This has been a really weird and difficult few days."
"It has indeed," Bail Organa said, deliberately turning away from the window which allowed the three men to look into the birthing suite. Odd things were happening within, odd things involving blood and stuff, and he was a brave man, but watching a birth was not his idea of a good time.
Luke nodded and said, "At least I have my hand."
"And, apparently, a sister," Kenobi said.
"Yeah," Luke agreed with a frown. "I don't know what she is gonna think about all that – I mean, she loves me as a friend, and probably will be Ok with having me as a brother, but Vader? That is not gonna go over too well…"
The sound of a baby crying interrupted them all and the three men crowded to the window just in time to see Older Leia wrap a squalling infant in a clean infant blanket.
"Luke," Padme said, her eyes filled with joyful tears.
"I can't believe I just saw myself be born," Luke said with a shake of his head. "This is profoundly odd."
"It is," Kenobi agreed.
"One down, one to go," Bail said flippantly, and then spun around quickly at the sight of Padme wincing through another contraction. Really, birthing a child was, it was just so… so messy, and there was blood, and… and... fluids... His head was swimming suddenly, and he remembered he hadn't had breakfast or lunch, and was probably dehydrated...
He fainted, and was fortunate that Kenobi caught him with the Force before his face met the floor.
/
Emperor Palpatine's Office
Senatorial Building
Coruscant
Later
"Rise, Lord Vader," Emperor Palpatine croaked, gesturing regally towards his apprentice, who had shown up fifteen minutes earlier. He had made the young man bow for quite a while, just to show him who was boss. The days of Palpatine acting as father to young Anakin were over. Now, Darth Vader was his servant, his slave.
As it had always been meant to be.
It had been a very good couple of days; Jedi murdered by the hundreds and thousands thanks to Order 66, turning Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side, burning down the Jedi Temple.
Yes, there were some loose ends to tie up, but really, it had been a really great coup. He had overthrown a Republic of a thousand generations through his own hard work and general brilliance.
And now he was Emperor of the galaxy, and pretty soon he wouldn't be hanging out in a posh office. He would have a fancy throne room, with a genuine throne.
He could even wear a crown maybe? Or maybe not?
Darth Vader was still waiting patiently, though he was standing now, and Palpatine forced himself to focus on his servant. "Well, Lord Vader? Are the Separatist leaders no more?"
"They are destroyed, my master," the young man said, his hooded head still bowed meekly. "I also have brought you a gift."
Palpatine perked up. "A gift?"
"Yes, my master. If I may…?"
"You may," Palpatine said in a disinterested tone, though his yellow eyes sparkled. He loved presents. He hoped it was something tasty, as he hadn't eaten for at least an hour.
Vader turned and gestured behind him, and the door opened and a young, nondescript man, dressed soberly in gray, walked in with a large, shallow box floating at his side, and on that box was…
"Yoda," Palpatine hissed, rising to his feet and taking a few delighted steps toward the ancient Jedi. The old gnome lay on the top of the box, with his hands and feet bound with manacles, and his small torso tied with rope to the box itself and his green eyes were closed.
"How delightful," the Sith began, and then frowned hideously. "What is that smell? What is that sound?"
The gray clad man gestured with his right hand just as his Light Side Force presence bloomed into full, intimidating strength. Master Yoda's manacles opened, the Jedi Master jumped off the box, and the box itself opened, releasing its occupants.
Palpatine screamed as the Corellian IV fire bees, large, vicious, with little green and black stripey tails, flew forward and began stinging him, while at the same time Yoda, Vader, and the young man all lit their lightsabers.
Palpatine had fought Yoda to an effective draw only a few days previously, and he could probably fight him to a draw now, but he had a particular fear of Corellian fire bees, especially when they ignored all the other sentients in the room and began stinging him mercilessly.
"Treachery!" he screamed. "Treach…"
He managed to bat away a lunge from Yoda's blade, but Vader slashed his left arm entirely off, and while a number of guards did indeed rush through the door in his defense, the Unknown Jedi dispatched them with ease.
It really wasn't a fair fight, thanks to vicious bees and two powerful Force adepts.
He lasted a total of 86 seconds and had a brief thought just before his head was cut off, that he would relish being dead to get away from the bees.
/
Polis Massa
Three Days Later
"Bees?" young Luke demanded, cradling his infant self in his arms.
"Palpatine doesn't like bees," Oldest Luke said with a nod. "He was stung badly as a child."
"How do you know that?" Older Vader demanded, his own cyborg arms carefully cradling Baby Leia. The infant was sleeping soundly, and occasionally Vader's new cyborg right index finger gently stroked the baby's smooth cheek.
"People have written lots of books about Palpatine in the last decade," Older Leia said. "I mean, for worse, he ran the galaxy for more than 20 years. Naturally people have written about him, and a biographer uncovered the story of how he was throwing rocks at a bee's nest as a child and got thoroughly stung."
"Which serves him right," middle Luke said. "That was kind of mean to the bees."
"He was six years old and stupid," his older counterpart said tolerantly.
"So Palpatine is dead," Obi-Wan said.
"Dead he is, most thoroughly, with no head," Yoda declared.
"How did you three not get stung?" Kenobi asked.
"Anakin and I were doused in rather smelly bee repellant," Oldest Luke explained, "and Yoda isn't tasty to bugs, I guess. They didn't want to have anything to do with him. I confess to being very happy; it was an interesting assassination, and now Palpatine is dead."
"Well, that's good," Obi-Wan remarked, "but the galaxy is still a mess."
"Yes, but things are a lot better off than if Palpatine had lived twenty more years with Vader at his side busy killing a bunch of people and blowing up planets."
"Blowing up planets?" Padme demanded. She was curled up next to her husband, her eyes kept fluttering shut from fatigue, but she heard that.
"Yep, there is planet destroying battle station being constructed even now," Oldest Luke said. "You'll have to..."
He trailed away and looked at his feet. "I guess I'm leaving, so yeah, it's over Geonosia and so needs to be blown up..."
Oldest Luke disappeared, and Middle Luke, after hastily handing over Baby Luke to Padme, disappeared as well.
Cyborg Vader sadly handed over Baby Leia to Bail Organa and said, "I assume I will be leaving shortly as well. Padme, I love you desperately, and apologize for attacking you on Mustafar. I never should have doubted your love and faithfulness."
"I forgive you," Padme said, and promptly burst into tears due to pregnancy hormones.
Thankfully, Cyborg Vader had disappeared by then.
"Anakin," Older Leia said sternly, "you need to retreat from public life and focus on your own issues and your babies and your wife. You don't have it in you to burn the lightsaber at both ends. Wait, that wasn't a great analogy..."
She disappeared as well.
Note: I know it has been a long time since I updated. One little thing; when I was a child, I lived in South America with my family and my younger brother, age 6 or so, decided along with his little friends that throwing rocks at bees nests was a good idea. We have a picture of him all swollen up from four bee stings (fortunately he wasn't allergic to bee stings). Little boys can be very silly and foolish.
