Disclaimer: not mine
Chapter 3
Tim watched as Cass chased Steph across the roof, a tiny smile on his face. He'd been back on patrol for a month now, but not as Robin. Damian had shocked him by offering the name back, but it wasn't his anymore. It hadn't felt right at all to accept the offer. No, Goshawk now flew across the rooftops, the name chosen for the Northern Goshawk, a bird of prey who was quite at home in winter. It felt fitting given the ice permanently lodged in his chest. His suit was a mix of shades of grey, like the bird.
Tim Drake Wayne was legally alive and hadn't that been a fun circus. But they had used his now cold temperature to their advantage, saying he hadn't been dead but in a state of suspension, an attack on the family. The perpetrator had been captured by the Justice League and when questioned about his deeds by Wonder Woman, what he'd done to Tim had come to light. They had dug him up and the Justice League had worked to reverse what had been done to him. it was close enough to the truth and they had dug the grave up, Tim had decided to have his original body cremated just to be safe, the last thing he needed was Ra's stealing it to clone or try to use the Pit. He had returned to society with a big bash for his twentieth birthday, the family explaining that he had chosen to remain in seclusion as he recovered from the whole thing. People had asked what it was like to be buried alive and Tim honestly answered that he had no memory of anything past his 'death'.
Goshawk had debuted almost a year later so there was nothing to link the two thankfully. Everyone had been wary of him hitting the streets again but he was still a bat, he needed to be out and about. His mind had known what to do but his body had been starting from the beginning again and that had taken time. And training with Jason and Damian had been new, different.
Bruce's surprise over his new id suggested he'd either still been Robin in the old time or had chosen something different but…Tim found he wasn't interested in finding out anymore. His desire to know had faded as time passed. His interest in a lot of things had faded and he knew he should be worried about that, but he wasn't. He loved his family, his friends, and that was enough. He'd always been on the outside looking in as a kid and in some ways, it was like that again. He felt…detached from the world. He'd gone to Constantine in secret, seen the pity in his eyes. He'd been dead, his very soul owned…it figured he would come back wrong somehow. The cold in his chest wasn't going away, in fact, sometimes…if felt like it was growing.
Bruce said he was free but Tim had the feeling he had misunderstood parole for freedom. Something told him his future lay in ice and pain.
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Kon glanced at where Tim lay on the dock, soaking up the sun, one hand trailing in the water. He saw the slight frown on Cassie's face from where she had just caught the ball. They were at the Kent farm for a week of vacation together, enjoying time away from emergencies. They all teased Tim about needing sun and fresh air. Kon had hoped being at the farm would bring back even a hint of the old Tim…but it hadn't.
It hadn't been so obvious at first and everything could be excused by his painful death and then what had happened to him in the Realms but… this Tim wasn't the same as the one from before. Oh, it was him, every magical had checked him out and J'onn had been in his head. Jason had said dying changed you but this…this seemed more than that. It was like there was a wall between Tim and the world now, between them. Tim was there physically and mentally, but emotionally…he was almost as cold as his skin now was. Tim had always been a good liar and that had helped hide it, did hide it when in the cape and around civilians but they knew Tim. Once bright, warm blue eyes were now like ice and yet Tim would still throw himself between them and harm.
He avoided water a lot now too, even warm or hot water. He would wear t-shirts in winter and…the white in his hair had increased. Cassie had gone to Diana about the physical changes and she had spoken with the Queen. They knew of the Realms but did not deal with them, though the Queen had said that exposure to them would not leave one the same.
But Tim still loved them, right? Still cared about his family?
That was part of why they'd arranged the vacation, to talk to Tim. The changes had been slow and maybe Tim hadn't even realised it. They tried not to treat Tim differently, Bart had the easiest time with that, but him and Cassie struggled sometimes. He remembered their reunion when Tim had fallen into his arms and then slept in his lap…he wished things could have stayed like that.
Bart shrieked with laughter as Krypto barrelled into him, sending water everywhere. Tim rolled to the side to avoid the worst of it, sitting up immediately, looking for all of them, checking their positions. Kon grinned at him and Tim relaxed, standing and stretching. Even after four days in the Kansas sun he was as pale as ever, he should be tanning.
"Hey Tim! The basket safe?" he asked, and Tim moved to check.
"All dry. We eating soon?"
"I could eat!" Bart cheered, making them all laugh.
But they got out to lie on a blanket in the shade to eat. Tim, since he was dry, platted the food up, leaning against a tree as he ate.
"Hey Tim?" Kon asked carefully, and Tim hummed in response as he chewed. He glanced at Cassie and Bart. "Can we talk?"
Tim straightened up, looking between them. "About what?" there was wariness in his voice and Cassie took his hand, squeezing it gently.
"We love you Tim, no matter what," she promised, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.
"We're just worried about you," Bart blurted out, eyes wide as he looked at Tim.
"Ever since…you've been changing Tim, not just physically but…" Kon trailed off, and Tim flinched.
"I love you all," he whispered, something pleading in his tone, and they piled on top of him, wriggling around until they could all get hands on him, holding him, Kon's TTK running over his body.
"We've never doubted it," Bart promised, curling up against him.
It was good all three of them ran hot, it meant that Tim's coldness didn't bother them too much and he was always eager to soak up their heat.
"Young Justice forever," Cassie ruffled his hair. "We're just worried for you Tim. It's like…the cold is more than skin deep."
He looked away, a hand moving absently to his chest, where the deal mark remained. "I don't…I don't remember anything anymore about the deal or old time," he whispered, and they nodded, everyone who knew the truth about Tim knew that. "But I do remember one thing, the cold and pain…a lance of ice piercing my chest. It's…it's still there, it always has been."
Kon tightened his grip instinctively, as if he could protect Tim from something that was inside of him.
"I'm not right," Tim admitted softly. "I came back wrong; Constantine knows I did. The others…they don't want to see it and I don't want them too. It's like I'm here but…detached from the world and the ice grows every year."
"You've got us Tim; you'll always have us." Bart promised and they quickly agreed.
"You don't have to try and pretend around us," Kon wrapped him up tight. "We can cover for you too."
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Cass knew, Tim, her little brother, the one she had adored and been so close to from the start had come back different. He was quieter but that was fine. It was the coldness inside him that hurt, Tim had always been so warm, he loved so deeply, cared about everyone and now that was gone. She knew he still loved them; it was all through his body language, his actions. And it got worse every year, how long until others noticed? Had whatever creature Tim sold his soul to not understood enough about humans to make his body right and messed up? Had his soul been damaged?
She flopped down beside him on the couch, grabbing a pillow to put in his lap and then laid down. He stared at her for a moment, and then a small smile tugged at his lips. He went back to reading but she slimed as cold fingers ran through her hair. Yes, he was still their brother, no matter what.
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Tim stood beside his brother as the wedding march sounded. His lips were pulled up in a smile as he took in Babs' white gown, the silly grin on Dick's face. Finally. But it all felt so dull, he knew he should be so happy for them, but all he really felt was cold. Six years after coming back and all there was, was the ice cold. It had spread through his chest and then the rest of his body and yet there was nothing to be found medically. Even magic couldn't seem to find it. But he knew he loved his family and friends; he would do what he had to make them happy and keep them safe. He was a good actor, he always had been that, and a liar.
"Dance with me," Cass demanded once the ceremony was over, and Tim let her drag him to the dance floor.
It seemed he was the only one who hadn't paired up with someone, but how could he? He couldn't do that to someone, to fake a relationship. He danced with his sister before handing her over to Peter, a boy she had met in dance class and they were happy together, though the poor guy wasn't yet aware he was dating Black Bat.
Tim eventually retreated to the balcony, a flute of champagne in his hand, staring at the liquid for a while before drinking it. It barely had any flavour to him, nothing did anymore. It was like he was slowly fading away from the world and it no longer scared him. But if he died it would hurt his family and he didn't want that, so he would cling to the world as long as he could for them.
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"Unca Timmy!" a voice squealed and Tim spun, picking the toddler up, spinning her gently, making her laugh.
Jason smiled at the sight, ignoring the emptiness of Tim's eyes. He knew Tim thought they didn't see it, that he'd hidden just how cold he now was. And maybe he had managed to hide it from them for a while, he had no clue when it had begun. And despite that, he had no fear of leaving his daughter with Tim, there would be blood and bodies on the floor before any harm came to Anna.
She babbled away as Tim settled her against his hip, listening intently to her every word. He glanced up and Jason grinned at him, Tim copying him.
Seeing Tim like this, he had to wonder, had the creature done this to hurt them for Bruce daring to beg for Tim back? Or was it just a side effect of what had happened to him?
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Tim stepped up the bed, reaching out to take a frail hand in his. Alfred looked up at him, managing a small, tired smile and Tim smiled back. He was dying…Alfred was dying…and he felt nothing. Alfred motioned and Tim leant down, feeling the ghost of a kiss to his brow.
"Dear boy," Alfred's voice was barely audible.
"I love you Alfie," he whispered.
"I wish…I could have seen you marry…a child…"
Tim nodded. "I'm sorry." He would never marry, never have children. He couldn't. The cold had killed off all chances of him having children. He would have given Alfred a million great grandchildren if he could have.
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Cassie smiled and hugged Tim. "Happy Birthday!" she kissed his cheek, brushing back a strand of white hair. There was little black left, the blue of his eyes faded closer to white now. But he was still with them. "The big three oh," she teased, and he smiled at her.
"Did you ever think we'd make it when we were kids?" he asked, glancing in at the party that was in full swing now, the kids making it crazy.
"Honestly?" she chuckled and perched on the banister.
Wayne Manor was as lovely as ever, even if it's most dedicated carer was gone. Honestly, Alfred's death had shocked everyone, he'd seemed so…untouchable, a part of the manor…as if he was immortal. But he wasn't. Jason, Tim, Damian, Bruce, Clark, Kon…they'd all died and come back…death just didn't seem permanent but sometimes it was.
"No, I didn't," Cassie admitted. "You…you won't be for much longer, will you?" She was a demigoddess; she could feel things others couldn't. "You're holding on for us."
He stared at her with dead eyes and then nodded. "I don't want to make everyone sad," he admitted. "Food has no taste; I don't really sleep anymore… I'm just…empty, cold."
"Oh Tim." She hugged him tight, trying to make him feel even a little warmer.
"Hey! Where's the birthday boy?" Wally yelled inside, and she wiped her eyes dry before leading Tim back inside, seeing the fake smile on his face. He'd gotten good at faking it over the years.
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Bruce knocked on the door, opening it at the call to enter. Tim was sitting on his bed, looking through a photo album, sunlight spilling about him. He looked…ethereal, otherworldly…and it hurt. He walked to the bed, leaning on his cane, and then sat beside his son. He'd truly believed he'd freed Tim all those years ago…but he hadn't. He wrapped his arm around cold shoulders and Tim relaxed into him.
"Did you need something?" Tim asked, voice empty. He couldn't even fake emotion now, just a shadow of the boy he'd once been.
"I love you Tim," he whispered.
Tim turned his head, blinking at him. "I love you too, dad. I do."
Bruce smiled and stroked hair whiter than his own. "I know Sweetheart. I've always known. You wouldn't have stayed so long if you didn't love us all."
Tim curled into him just like he did as a child, he'd never grown much beyond the height he'd had when he died, though his features had matured slowly. Tim had withdrawn from the world over the years as his hair bleached more and more white, the colour draining from eyes and skin more slowly. He worked remotely for WE but Goshawk still flew, now one of the oldest of the bats and birds. Old pains didn't seem to bother him as much as the others, his body still fit and spry…because of the cold?
Bruce doubted he had many years left, not after the decades of abuse his body had suffered in training and then as Batman. He was almost seventy now, he'd long ago had to hang up the cape even as Clark and Diana were still going strong.
"I'm scared for you," he admitted softly, and Tim cocked his head as if curious. He stroked Tim's cheek and then kissed his forehead. "What waits for you after this?"
Tim looked away and Bruce's heart sank. It was obvious what fate Tim believed waited him.
"He said you'd be free," he argued.
"Is this free?" Tim asked softly. "He didn't say I'd be free forever, did he?"
Bruce swallowed, no…it…he…forever had not been part of the promise. "There has to be some way."
"Constantine never stopped looking, Zatanna too. There's nothing anyone can do to stop what's coming. I won't outlive you B," Tim told him and Bruce felt sick. Tim's life, this body, was tied to his own life. And he was a mortal man.
"Tim…"
"You bought me decades to watch my family and friends live and grow, be happy. How can anyone regret that?"
Bruce hugged him tight, ignoring the chill of his body, the slowness of his life signs. Having to bury Alfred had hurt so much, that he wouldn't have to bury Tim was a relief and he felt bad about that, knowing the family would be mourning them both at the same time or within a short time of each other. With the knowledge that Tim would follow him, he would alter his will then.
"You have a will?" he asked, and the look Tim gave him reminded him of the early days, when Tim would chide him for having drunk too much or been too violent. That Tim was still in there, even with his frozen heart and soul. "So, what were you looking at?" he asked.
They got settled properly on the bed, slowly going through the photos of first Dick and then Jason in the tiny shorts Robin once wore.
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Kon had an arm around Cassie, watching Bart flit about, Tim lounging on the other couch, watching. Tim had called this meeting and Kon couldn't ignore the sinking feeling. Tim looked almost translucent now, he could see his veins without trying. His heart rate was so slow now too but none of it slowed him down in the field.
They all knew that Bruce was dying, he had another year to two, maybe. He never would have imagined Batman becoming such a doting grandfather and now great-grandfather but he was amazing with the kids. Anna now wore the cowl; a female Batman was not really something many had seen coming but Cass had done it first. She hadn't had the cowl for long before passing it to Damian who had passed it to his niece. Goshawk was the only original bird left, not that anyone outside the heroes knew that he was the third Robin.
"So what's the talk for?" Kon asked, unable to wait any longer.
"B's dying," Tim stated flatly, and Kon nodded. "So that means I am too."
"What?" Cass straightened up.
"This body is tied to him, when he dies, I will follow. He bought my freedom, for his lifetime, no more."
"No!" She denied, shaking her head.
"Constantine and Zatanna confirmed it," Tim told her, trying to be gentle and missing the mark. That was why Goshawk didn't interact much with civilians anymore.
"Tim…" Bart whispered, tears in his eyes.
"Cass you knew this would be coming."
Kon looked between them as his wife wiped at her eyes.
"But you said…you were holding on for us, I thought…"
"I could use that forever," Tim finished, "because you and Kon, maybe even Bart, are likely near immortal. And if Bruce wasn't dying, maybe I could."
"This isn't fair," Bart whispered.
Kon couldn't say anything, he just felt…lost. The idea of not having Tim in his life…but he'd always known he'd outlive him. Tim had been baseline human before his death after all. What he was now… he stood and moved to where Tim was sitting, pulling him into his arms, Tim curling in close for the warmth.
"We love you Rob," he choked out.
"I know," Tim whispered, arms wrapped tight around him. "I'm sorry." He wasn't, not when he couldn't feel anything, but it was okay because they knew what he meant. Tim remembered having emotion, knew what he should be feeling in most instances.
"I'll petition Zeus for you Tim, even if…if you have to die, there has to be some way to let your soul rest in peace," Cass whispered.
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Dick held Bruce's hand, listening to the laboured breathing, all of B's kids and grandkids there, the greatgrandchildren too young for them to want them to see. They had already said their goodbyes. Tim stood by the foot of the bed, eyes locked on Bruce, was he blinking…or breathing? Damian clung tightly to his father's hand, Jon standing behind him offering silent support. Jason and Maria were beside them, Babs beside Dick. Cass and Peter were closer to Tim, and then Steph rushed in. She wasn't technically one of his kids, but she'd always be one of them.
"We're here Bruce," Dick whispered.
"We love you Father," Damian forced the words out, tears in his eyes, so different to the angry child he had once been.
"It's okay Bruce, don't do this for me," Tim's words confused them all and then Bruce exhaled…going still.
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Tim felt it as Bruce breathed his last, saw his body go still and moved his gaze to his siblings. He took them all in, etching them in his memory. "Goodbye," he whispered, Jon's head snapping to him.
"Tim?" His brother-in-law asked and then Tim choked. "Tim!"
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Damian was moving without thought at Jon's call of Timothy's name, lunging for his brother, seeing him lift a hand to his throat, eyes wide. His knees buckled but Damian managed to slow his collapse, his own body aching at doing so, but Timothy was so light. "Brother?" he asked, laying him carefully on the carpet, and Tim's lips twitched, a hand lifting towards his face, before falling limp, but Damian caught the pale, cold limb.
"Timmy?" Dick kneeled carefully, Jason, Cass and Steph crowding around.
Tim's lips moved silently. Goodbye, and then white eyes slid shut. The hand in Damian's became colder and colder till he was forced to let go. There was a noise and then Kon-El, Cassie, and Bart were there. Kon-El must have heard his brother, heard Tim's heart…
"Tim," the three called but there was no response.
Tim's body became ever paler, transparent, fading away into snow and ice. He was gone and this time, there wasn't even anything to bury.
"What happened?" Dick asked, bewildered, even as Cassie cried in her husband's arms.
Kon-El stared at them sadly. "He didn't tell you?"
"Tell us what?" Stephanie demanded.
"His body was tied to Bruce's life," Bart answered softly. "His freedom was only for as long as Bruce lived."
Damian shuddered, turning away, Jon wrapping him in a hug. He had lost his Father and brother today. Though, in some ways…they had lost Timothy decades ago as his heart slowly froze.
TBC…
