Chapter 9: Dunces and Dragons:

This takes place during the Digimon Emperor Arc

TK, Cody, and their Digimon were on their way to the big medieval themed restaurant/stadium.

"Is this the place," Cody asked.

"Yeah, Patamon and I loved coming here."

"Welcome to the... whatever," the guy said.

"Don't you mean welcome-eth to the whatever-eth," Patamon asks.

The guy attempts to kill himself, but doesn't. "No, not today."

...

"How's that mutton," Patamon asks.

"Me thinks it's mutton tastic," Armadillomon says.

"Good evening, fair patrons of Medieval Moments. By royal decree, we ask that two audience members come forth and participate in the, uhh, royal joust," says the King, who then sees Patamon and Armodillomon's hands raised, "Oh, alright. It appears that the Yellow Armardillo and the Orange Pig are our lucky contestants tonight. Hooray."

Two guys then bring Patamon and Armadillomon to the field.

"Isn't this exciting," says Patamon, "to think we'd be watching the show this close."

"You won't be watching the show," says a royal henchmen, "you're in the joust."

"Armadillomon, do you know how to ride a horse?"

"Nope."

"Mr. Horse, are you gentle on beginners?"

The horse rides toward Armadillomon.

"Patamon, help!"

"I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break."

Both scream as Patamon hits Armadillomon clear out of the stadium.

"Armadillomon," shouts Patamon, who then gets thrown away by his horse.

...

Patamon and Armadillomon have landed somewhere.

"Ah sure am glad that's over," says Armadillomon.

A cavalry comes towards Patamon and Armadillomon.

"Look, some employees from the resteraunt have come to help us."

"Arrest these traitors for committing the act of witchcraft by falling from the sky!"

"Whoa, they really go that extra mile for authenticity," says Patamon, "salutations fellow knights."

...

Patamon and Armadillomon are in the dungeon.

"Wow, they really went all out with these props."

"I just don't understand," says a familiar voice, "why don't they like knock-knock jokes?"

"Veemon," asks Patamon and Armadillomon.

"Dost thou talketh to me?"

"Good one Veemon," says Patamon.

"Scoff not, young squire. Thou hast mistaken me for another. I am Vee, the King's royal fool. Or at least I was until I royally messed up."

"What did you do," asks Patamon.

"I'll show you." says Vee.

Vee: I was the king's favorite fool
I made merry mirth and laughter
Then I told one bad joke, and the king had a stroke, now I hang from ye olde rafter!

"Ah could use some mutton," says Armadillomon.

"Don't hold thy breath! We'll be lucky if we get fed again by the 12th century!"

"They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here," says Patamon.

Then they all hear an explosion.

"What in tarnations is that," says Armadillomon.

Vee: The evil wizard's dragon is here
See the townsfolk scream with fear
See the townsfolk try to run
I can tell this won't be fun
The dragon will torch everything
Everything in the valley
Hospitals, schools, retirement homes, and even ye olde bowling alley!

"Not the bowling alley!"

"Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? Don't you see, Armodillomon, we really are in medievel times."

"Y'know, Ah bet this never happened on Monster Rancher."

"The King wants a word with you two," says the Dungeon Master.

"Sounds good ta me," Armadillomon says.

"Wait, we're not leaving without Vee."

"Why should I take him?"

"Because, umm, Vee has thought of some brilliant new songs."

"Oh right, your story checkseth out."

...

"This is troublesome," says the King, who looks like Leomon, "that dragon has caused nothing but trouble."

"Is everything alright, Father," asks the Princess who looks like Palmon.

"Nay, dear daughter. That wretched wizard, Kenneth and his insideous dragon continue to destroy the kingdom. Not one of me best knights have been able to defeat him."

"Your highness, the dungeon master has brought the prisoners you asked for."

"Send them in."

"Hi Leomon," says Patamon.

"How dare you bark at me in that tone, knave! I am the feared ruler of this kingdom and will be addressed as such."

"Sorry, Sir," says Patamon.

"And why have you brought this fool back into me throne room?"

"If your majesty may be so kind," says Vee, "I think I have a song that will answer all your questions."

"Very well," says Leomon.

Did I say Leomon, I meant the King.

"Thank you sir." says Vee.

Vee: Oh hear me king for I must sing
how you are the greatest at everything
Like letting a dragon burn down our city
a horrible sight that wasn't pretty
'Twas all your fault and 'tis a pity, you are bad, you are to blame
now hang your kingly head in shame
La la la la la la la la la la la!

All Three: The king is bad, the king's to blame
he hangs his kingly head in shame
La la la la la la la la la la la!

"Guards! Send these slanderers to the guillotine!"

"Wait, you don't understand," says Patamon, "we're not from around here."

"Then you are witches sent by Kenneth," says the King.

"No, we're time travelers."

"Father, you must spare them. Hast thou forgotten about the prophecy?"

"The what," asks the King, who then sees the tapestry, "how long has that been up there?"

"The story tells of two brave knights who fall from the sky, and are sent by the king to rid the lamenting town of the evil dragon controlled by the shades wearing wizard. Father, don't you get it? It's them! These strangers have come to rescue us, like in the prophecy."

The Dragon comes in.

"How dare you defile my house, demon," says the King, then the Dragon takes the Princess, "I'm coming. Prepare to meet thy maker, foul beast!"

The Dragon wins and flies away.

"You two, you must save my daughter," the King says.

"Sure, fighting monsters is kind of our job anyway," says Patamon.

Patamon and Armadillomon then walk away.

"Well, now I can play another song..."

"Actually, royal fool, mayhaps Thou can go with them... it... uh... says so in the prophecy."

"I don't see..."

"GO!"

...

"I know we're a prophecy and all, "says Patamon, "but I don't think we can stop the dragon with our bare hands."

"Yep, we're gonna need gloves," says Armadillomon.

"Perhaps yonder blacksmith can provide some arms for your battle."

"At last, an honest man of the soil," says Patamon, "I bet I can talk to him."

"Him," asks the Blacksmith, who looks like Yolei.

"Is that Yolei," asks Patamon.

"Excuse me, Miss," says Vee," did Thou not engage in a relationship with the evil Kenneth?"

"Thanks for reminding me, why don't you just give me a paper cut and pour lemond juice on it?"

"We need weapons to help defeat him," says Patamon.

"In that case, come in."

The Blacksmith provides them with the weapons.

"Question, what do we need this cupcake for," asks Armadillomon.

"I thought you guys would get hungry."

"I have a question," says Patamon, "what exactly happened between you two."

"You'll probably find out," says the Blacksmith.

"We doth have a long journey ahead of us."

...

The evil wizard Kenneth is watching them on his crystal ball.

"Those fools think they can stop me," he says, "well, first they'll have to get past my Black Knight."

"Master, what are we going to do with the Princess," asks Wormmon.

"I don't know, the dragon just took her out of instinct. Maybe she'll be good as a bargaining chip."

"Great, just one question... What's a bargaining chip?"

...

Patamon, Armadillomon, and Vee managed to make it to the evil lair of the evil wizard

"Guess he doesn't have a mailbox," says Armadillomon.

Then they see an armored figure.

"The Black Knight," says Vee.

Vee: Oh, Black Knight, spare us please
don't cut off our heads or boil our knees
Pray take these two and let me go free
and I will give you some... cheese!

"Black Knight?"

"Leave or I shall remove your heads."

The Knight reveals to look like Gatomon.

"Gatomon," asks Patamon.

"None may enter the Master's lair."

"I know how to take care of this," says Patamon.

Patamon uses karate to fight against the Black Knight and then defeats her, but then the Black Knight nearly falls off the edge of the clift they were on, so Patamon saves her.

"Thou has saved my life and for that, I am indebted to thee."

"Works for me," says Patamon.

The Black Knight takes the others to the front gate where Snimon is guarding.

"I am here to take these three to Kenneth so we may torture them"

"Kay."

"Master, we have intruders," says Wormmon.

"Don't worry, we're on the top floor, they can't..."

Then the wizard hears heavy breathing, looks and sees Patamon, Armadillomon, Vee, and the Black Knight.

"Well, that's unexpected," says Kenneth, "wait a minute, don't you work for me."

"I owe this one my life," says the Black Knight.

"I think she likes him," says Wormmon.

"Matters not, because I have a dragon," says Kenneth.

The Dragon appears.

"Where's the princess," asks Patamon.

"Over here," says the Princess, who is strapped to a big rock.

"Cells are expensive," says Wormmon.

Patamon and Armadillomon try to use their new weapons against the dragon, but they fail.

"I think your ex made those," says Wormmon.

"Didn't anyone tell you she was not a real blacksmith, she's an intern."

...

"So, sue me." says Yolei.

...

The Dragon's then prepared to attack, but the only thing Patamon has left is the cupcake. The dragon sniffs the cupcake and then eats it. Then the dragon started to glow.

"What's happening," asks Patamon.

Then the dragon turns into Hawkmon.

"Oh good, I'm me again."

"How were you a dragon," asks Armadillomon.

"Kenneth turned me into the dragon," says Hawkmon, "I told my friend he was no good."

"Is that why you two broke up," asks Patamon.

"You guessed it," says Wormmon, "say Master, now that we have no dragon, what are we gonna do."

"I admit defeat."

...

There is a party to celebrate how Patamon and Armadillomon saved the kingdom.

Vee: Hark! Ring the bell
'tis all ended well!

The dragon is vanquished, the princess returned
and only a few of us got badly burned!

"That horrible noise," says one citizen.

"Make it stop," says another.

The citizens then throw a rock, causing Vee to fall down, causing the horses to launch Patamon and Armadillomon into the air and back down in the present.

"You guys okay," asks TK.

"Yeah, that was some dream," says Patamon.

"Uh, you guys actually were launched in the air and disappeared."

"Hawkmon and Gatomon have been looking for you," says Cody, "in their armor digivolved forms."

"That explains why Vee is here," says Armadillomon.