Chapter 11: Kappa Mikey and Guano II:
This chapter takes place during the Digimon Emperor Arc
Saturday Morning. Patamon is watching his favorite Saturday morning show: The Adventures of Kappa Mikey and Guano. Enjoying a bowl of Kappa Mikey and Guano brand cereal and wearing the official Kappa Mikey and Guano breakfast biters.
Kappa Mikey, fleet and forceful! By the power of Amaterasu. Aided by his trusted companion... Aided by his trusted companion... protecting Japan with feats of strength and agility.
"To the chiropractor," says Kappa Mikey, "away!"
Fighting a rogues gallery of villains like the Chaotic Catgirl, the Atomic Ninja, and the Big Squid. Kappa Mikey and Guano unite!
"Hey kids," says the TV announcer, "are you ready to hear the winner of this week's contest?"
Patamon is so excited, he's eating part of the couch.
"Our winner will receive a special secret collector's item from The Adventures of Kappa Mikey and Guano! And the winner is... Patty Moon."
"Aw. I worked forever to make those life-sized rice ball mannequins of Kappa Mikey and Guano."
"...for these life-sized rice ball mannequins of Kappa Mikey and Guano."
"Hey! Patty Moon stole my idea!"
"What's that? Oh. It appears I've made a slight error in pronunciation. The real name of the winner is... Patamon. Weird name."
"Yayy," Patamon cheers, "I wonder when my prize..."
"Special delivery."
Patamon then hits the delivery guy.
"Sorry, but in my defense, you snuck up on me."
The guy gives Patamon the package.
"My prize!"
Patamon then opens it and sees what it is.
"Can it be," Patamon says, "it's the Koto Signal. From the Adventures of Kappa Mikey and Guano! As seen on TV! I wonder if it works."
Patamon then plays the Koto.
Meanwhile, at the retirement center.
Kappa Mikey and Guano are sitting on the couch. Kappa Mikey's sleeping. Then he hears the Koto Signal and wakes up.
"The Koto Signal! To the Invisible Gundam!"
Kappa Mikey and Guano then go down the poles and are now floating in the air. They are way high up.
"Uh, Kappa Mikey?"
"Yes, Guano?"
"We're not in the Invisible Gundam, are we?"
"Uh, nope."
The two then fall from such a distance.
"I told you making the Gundam invisible was a stupid idea," says Guano as the two search for it.
"Hey," says Guano, "I think I..."
"Found it!"
The Invisible Gundam then steps on Guano.
"Let's go, Guano."
Guano then enters the Invisible Gundam.
The Invisible Gundam then takes flight.
...
"I guess it doesn't."
"Activate ramming mode," says Kappa Mikey uses Guana to crash through the wall, "Kappa Mikey..."
"And Gus."
"I can't believe it, Kappa Mikey and Guano in TK's house," says Patamon, "excuse me, I'm..."
"Oh no, we're too late, "says Kappa Mikey, "he's been horribly disfigured."
"No, Kappa Mikey, it's just that digital pig kid again."
"Oh, good to see you, Lad," says Kappa Mikey, "we gotta figure out where that Koto Signal came from."
"Oh, that was me. I played the Koto."
"Well, where's the danger," asks Kappa Mikey.
"There's no danger."
"Look, there has to be danger," says Guano, "when you play the... where did you get that thing from anyway?"
"I won it in a contest."
"Contest?"
"They don't tell us these things anymore," says Kappa Mikey.
"Look," says Guano," it's not a toy."
"That's right," says Kappa Mikey, "the Koto Signal is an awesome responsibility. We're duty-bound to help whenever it sounds."
"But you only play it when there's trouble or there'll be trouble. Got it?"
"Yes, sirs."
"Good boy," says Kappa Mikey."
...
Guano is waiting outside the shower for Kappa Mikey to be done. Then they hear the Koto Signal and Kappa Mikey comes running out with nothing but a towel.
...
Kappa Mikey and Guano arrive at TK's house and see Patamon on the floor.
"Oh youth, cut down in it's prime," says Kappa Mikey, "speak to me, Son."
"Help... can't...open PeanutButter jar."
"What," asks Guano," I came down in my underwear to open a jar of PeanutButter?"
"But..."
"But nothing! We can't go around socializing. We have to be prepared for, uh, emergencies."
"Guano, think about it. Emergencies don't come around as often as they used to."
"Alright, okay, you can play the Koto every once in a while," says Guano as he opens the jar, "just give us something to do when we show up."
Patamon and Kappa Mikey then cheer.
...
At the cafeteria, Kappa Mikey and Guano are eating, but then they hear the Koto Signal and run off.
...
At TK's house, Kappa Mikey is fixing the sink, and Guano unclogs the shower drain.
...
At the library, Kappa Mikey is on a ladder. Guano is holding Kappa Mikey's butt, so he doesn't fall.
...
In the living room, Patamon is sitting in a chair. Kappa Mikey is massaging Patamon's feet and Guano is massaging Patamon's head.
...
Patamon is in bed. Kappa Mikey is reading a book, and Guano is holding milk and a plate of cookies.
...
Patamon plays the Koto again.
"That's it," says an angry Guano, "gimme that! You've been running us ragged."
Kappa Mikey is crawling on the ground.
"Must... must answer clarion call!"
"We're exhausted!"
"I'm sorry, Guano," says Patamon, "I... just wanted to spend time with you. You're my heroes!"
"It's too late for that, Mr. Contest Winner, now I'm going to destroy this thing."
Guano tries to break it, but it's no use.
"I'll destroy it when we get back to the Kappa Cave and as for you..."
"Guano," says Kappa Mikey, "don't squash his enthusiasm. After all, he could be the hero of tomorrow. Or the villain. Besides, I remember another young weird and unusual creature who wanted to be a superhero."
"You don't even remember breakfast you old coot."
"Maybe the Koto Signal is too much responsibility," says Kappa Mikey, "but how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon on patrol?"
"What?"
"To the Invisible Gundam!"
...
Patamon: Jingle Bells, Kappa Mikey Smells
Guano laid an egg
The Invisible Gundam lost a hand and...
"Hey, can I drive," asks Patamon.
"Drive," says Guano, "what do you know about driving the Invisible Gundam?"
"Tons, like the windshield wipers are right here."
"Don't touch that, that's the..."
The Invisible Gundam then uses karate on a building.
"Karate Button."
"I'll see you in court," says the owner of the building.
...
"When you patrol in the city, you'll always have to be vigilante. On your toes. Constantly alert. Always expect the unexpected." Turn back to the left of the building.
Patamon arrives with the donuts.
"Hey," the two fall off the building, "I got the donuts."
...
Patamon: And Guano laid an egg!
"Oh, that fellow over there," says Kappa Mikey, "that used to be the Atomic Ninja. I know he doesn't look like much, but he could turn to crime," snaps his fingers, "just like that."
Patamon attacks the Atomic Ninja.
"Get off him, Kid," says Kappa Mikey.
"But you said he could snap just like that."
"What," says the Atomic Ninja, "if I wasn't retired, I'd... I'd..." blasts Guano with his Atomic Breath, "that's what I'd do."
...
At the diner.
"I can't believe it, I rode in the Invisible Gundam, met a villain, and learned to treat third-degree burns all in one day," says Patamon, "so, what are we going to do tomorrow?"
"Uh, uh, say, kid, why don't you take this nickel and go up there and see if our theme song in on the jukebox," suggest Guano.
"Okay."
Patamon then goes to the jukebox.
"You know, for a pain in the neck," says Kappa Mikey, "he's a pretty nice kid."
"Let's ditch him," says Guano.
"I'm right behind you."
"It doesn't seem to be here," says Patamon.
"Oh, it's there alright," says Guano.
"Keep looking," says Kappa Mikey, " Diligence. Diligence."
Kappa Mikey and Guano then exit the diner but see no Invisible Gundam.
"Where did we park the Invisible Gundam," asks Guano.
"Gundam, where are you," says Kappa Mikey, "hey, I found it."
The Gundam steps on Guano again.
"Still getting stepped on, hey Guano?"
"It's the Stinky Sock," says Guano.
"In all his stinkiness."
Patamon comes out.
"I found it," says Patamon, "it was in the special dance mix."
Patamon then sees his heroes being tortured by the Stinky Sock.
"Kappa Mikey and Guano's archenemy, the Stinky Sock."
"You cannot save them, Flying Pig of Mystery," says the Stinky Sock, "they are trapped in my stinky wool."
"You don't understand," says Patamon, "you're my most favorite supervillain, can you sign my pet moth."
"Oh, no!"
Patamon then chases the Sock with his moth.
"Oh, no, you fool, stay back! The Moth!"
The Moth then eats the Sock.
"You saved us, Lad," says Kappa Mikey.
"You're a real hero," says Guano.
"I am?"
"Are you up for another ride in the Invisible Gundam," asks Kappa Mikey.
...
All Three: Oh, Jingle Bells, Kappa Mikey smells, Guano laid an egg
The Stinky Sock's gone and Kappa Mikey and Guano and Patamon got away!
Hooray!
"Watch out," says Guano.
