Chapter 38: Club Patamon:
This chapter takes place during the Oikawa Arc
Veemon was walking when he heard Patamon and Armadillomon from a treehouse. "You guys okay in there," asks Veemon.
"We can't tell you, 'cause you're not a member of the club," says Patamon.
"Oh, okay then," says Veemon as he walks away.
"You couldn't get in even if you tried," says Patamon.
"Wait, what," asks Veemon, "I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the globe."
"What'd he say," asks Armadillomon.
"Something about his head," says Patamon.
"You and your head will not fit in," says Armadillomon.
"I'll show you," says Veemon. He then climbs up the tree...
...
"Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here," says Veemon.
"That's what we've been trying to tell you," says Armadillomon.
"We've been stuck up here for 3 days," says Patamon.
"We told you you wouldn't fit in," says Armadillomon.
"Maybe I can try something," says Veemon. He [grabs a smaller stalk beside the one holding up the "Clubhouse" and pulls it while the taller one is bending down, gets to the floor, but the smaller stalk snaps and the taller stalk holding up the "Clubhouse" flings back very fast and the "Clubhouse" flies off it with all three still inside, then starts screaming.
...
The clubhouse lands in a forest. "Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again," Patamon and Armadillomon say.
"Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with no snacks," says Veemon.
"It could be worse," says Patamon.
"Yeah, Gatomon's old boss could return in his most powerful form," says Armadillomon.
"Well... this is the end," says Veemon.
"No, it's not," says Patamon.
Armadillomon was making coffins. "It's not?"
"Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine," says Patamon, "remember, we're a club and we have this!" Holds up a cellphone.
"Good idea," says Veemon, "we can call for help..."
"The magic phone," says Armadillomon, "ask it somethin'!"
"Magic Phone," says Patamon, "will I ever get married?"
"Maybe, someday," says the phone.
"It's a digital assistant," says Veemon, "humans just use those stupid things when they can't decide for themselves!"
"Veemon, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Phone," says Patamon, "the club always takes its advice before we do anything!"
"The phone knows all," says Armadillomon.
"Oh, Magic Phone," says Patamon, "what do we need to get out of this forest?"
"Nothing," says the phone.
"The phone has spoken," says Armadillomon.
"Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing," says Veemon. Patamon and Armadillomon are sitting down doing nothing. "I can't believe you two are going to take advice from a phone!" They still do nothing. "All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity!" He starts walking, but he gets back to Patamon and Armadillomon. "What was that?! I was already here! Which way do I go?! Oh, I'm lost! Oh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! There's no way out of here."
...
Patamon and Armadillomon are still sitting there. Veemon's making himself some food. He's frying a fly. "See what happens when you take orders from a phone," asks Veemon, "but I'm getting some nutrition! It's not like food's gonna fall from the sky!"
...
"Lord Beerus, we've never been this slow before," says Whis.
"I hate to say it," says Beerus, "but we're going to have to... drop the extra food! After all, Planet Bob isn't going to destroy itself... this time."
They dropped the food. "I know that was hard, Sir," says Whis.
"Let's get to Bob," says Beerus, "now I want to take my anger out on it!"
"Can we spare the beaches," asks Whis.
"No," says Beerus, "I'm too upset!"
"That's fair," says Whis.
...
The food lands all around Patamon and Armadillomon. Veemon was surprised.
Patamon and Armadillomon cheer and start eating. "Praise the Magic Phone!"
"That sure is a lot of food," says Veemon.
"It's a gift from the Magic Phone," says Patamon.
"Everything sure looks delicious," says Veemon, "smoked sausages, my favorite! You know I was kidding earlier, and I mean, I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and after all, the club's gotta stick together, and I mean... you know, I, um..."
"Veemon," asks Patamon.
"Yes," asks Veemon.
"Once a member, always a member," says Patamon.
Patamon and Armadillomon then do their victory screech.
"Uh... yeah..." Veemon tries it, but very weekly. "Now, uh, if you'll excuse me..." Runs to the food. "What shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?"
"Why not consult the Magic Phone," asks Patamon.
"Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail," says Veemon. Patamon and Armadillomon take the food away.
"Veemon," says Patamon, "are you questioning the authority of the Magic Phone? The phone is the one who gave us this banquet! This cellular phone is the cornerstone of our organization!"
"Maybe he's not a brother," says Armadillomon.
"I was kidding," says Veemon, "I love this little gizmo." He then takes it. "Hello... Magic Phone... I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?"
"Neither," says the phone.
"Oh, then how about the soup?"
"I don't think so."
"Could I have anything to eat?"
"No."
"No?! What do you mean no?! I'm starving here!"
"Here, let me try! Magic Phone, could Veemon have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich," asks Armadillomon.
"No."
"Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?"
"Yes."
Armadillomon eats the sandwich.
"Give me that," says Veemon, "could I have anything to eat?"
"No."
"Could I have anything to eat?"
"No."
"Could I have anything to eat?"
"No."
"Can I throw you to the Sun," asks Veemon.
"Try asking again."
"Could I have anything to eat?"
"No."
Veemon gets angry. "Veemon, are you alright," asks Patamon.
"Maybe we should ask the phone," says Armadillomon.
Then Sailor Moon shows up. "As the Champion of Justice, I have come to save you," says Sailor Moon.
"You don't know how happy I am to see you! I have been stranded out here for weeks with my crazy friends and their magic phone," says Veemon.
"Magic phone," asks Sailor Moon, "you mean like this?" She reveals she has one of her own.
"Sailor Moon's a sister," Patamon and Armadillomon say.
The three then do their victory screech.
"Ailor Oon's a ister," asks Veemon.
"My phone told me to find you guys," says Sailor Moon, "Magic Phone... what do we do now?"
"Nothing," says the phone.
"All hail the Magic Phone," says Patamon, Armadillomon, and Sailor Moon. The three then sit down.
Veemon, still dumbstruck, crawls between them. "All hail the Magic Phone!" Veemon sits down with them.
