Author's Note: The Lizalfo's appearance will be a mix of their Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword and Tears of the Kingdom designs.
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(A large bipedal Hyena like creature in steel lamellar gives a wide-toothed grin at the camera before biting in its direction.)
Gnoll: The vicious and ravenous hunter of Faerun who crushed all who crossed them.
(A Gnoll is seen charging toward a human soldier and decapitates the man with a swing of his sword.)
vs.
(A stout, bipedal lizard creature with steel plates faces the camera and swings the large, sickle like horn on its head.)
Lizalfo: The quick on their feet reptilian who under the influence of Ganon plague the Kingdom of Hyrule
(A Lizalfo is seen exchanging blows with an attacking Zora and using the sickle horn on its head slices the aquatic man in half.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!
To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Here in our elite fight club we have gathered doctors, medical scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between two different non-human species...
Gnoll
Appearing from: Forgotten Realms
Height: 7'
Weight: 280 lbs.
Armor: Steel Lamellar, Steel Shield
Homeland: Faerun
Lizalfo
Appearing from: The Legend of Zelda expanded universe
Height: 6'
Weight: 180 lbs.
Armor: Steel Plates, Steel Shield, Armored Gauntlet
Homeland: Hyrule
''So today on DWFE we're doing another battle between non-human species when the Hyena like Gnoll from Forgotten Realms takes on the Lizalfo from the Legend of Zelda games.'' DeadAliveManiac started off.
''These two are some of the most dangerous creatures in their respective worlds. The Gnoll are some of the most savage creatures we've featured on this fic whereas the Lizalfo terrorizes the kingdom of Hyrule.'' Zivon96 said.
''It's definitely gonna be an interesting fight as we got a big as heck creature, the Gnoll known for some feats of strength against a shorter, lighter but faster Lizalfo whose speed can keep even the Hero Link guessing. It's gonna be a great fight between very different but similar warriors.'' MKDemiGodzilla-Warrior explained.
''Both are carrying steel weapons and have parts of their bodies that can be weapons! I can't wait to see the result of this fight so let's get this chapter going.'' Its Rice Man concluded.
Gnolls are a humanoid race that most closely resembled human-hyena hybrids within Faerûn believed to be descendants of the Demon Lord Yeenoghu. They were carnivorous humanoids, known for their savage culture and warlike ways. Gnolls had very short lifespans when compared with other sapient humanoids, living only 30 or so years on average and maturing to adulthood at a remarkable speed. Gnolls did not, however, age particularly dramatically except at the end of their lifespans, at which point the decline quickly ended in their death. When a Gnoll dies its bones are occasionally harvested by its brethren and animated by rituals into a witherling, a skeletal version of a Gnoll.
''These things are just nasty and mean and if you were captured by them you'd be sold into slavery. The Lizalfo has never encountered a foe so savage so it better get its head in the game if it doesn't want to die.'' Rice Man explained.
The ferocious hunter came armed with a deadly assortment of bladed and naturally gifted weapons to slay any being foolish enough to cross them.
Short Range: Short Sword
Mid-Range: Iron Spear
Long Range: Longbow
Special Weapons: Battle Axe and Fangs
Today, the vicious hunter is challenged by a creature whose speed and cunning allowed it to terrorize the Kingdom of Hyrule...
The Lizalfo are a recurring enemy in the Legend of Zelda series. These quick-witted, quick on their feet lizard-like monsters can be found all over Hyrule. They're a sly species that lurks underwater or uses camouflage to blend in with the environment to launch ambushes. Moreover, they never sleep. They're meat eaters by nature but will enjoy the occasional insect or two. Compared to other enemies in the series the Lizalfo are known for great speed and its unpredictable movement makes them a difficult opponent and come with elemental variants as well such as fire, ice and electric Lizalfos.
''These are some of the more dangerous enemies you can encounter in a Zelda game. They are at their toughest in Breath of The Wild and Tears of The Kingdom and those two games are proof that they are credible foes for the Gnoll.'' Rice Man explained.
The quick footed Lizalfo came armed with a deadly bladed arsenal that allowed it to instill fear within the populace of Hyrule...
Short Range: Lizal Tri-Boomerang
Mid-Range: Forked Lizal Spear
Long Range: Steel Lizal Bow
Special Weapons: Tail Mace and Sickle Horn
These two dangerous creatures favored killing their adversaries up close and relied on two deadly bladed weapons. Up first will be the Gnoll with a rather simple, but deadly blade.
''The short sword used by our kind was a nasty blade that let us cut anything down.'' Gnoll soldier Mudwort growled, ''It is a double-edged weapon that measured 22 inches, weighed 2 pounds and was made of iron. Perfect for skinning and descaling overgrown lizards.''
''It looks more like a dagger when in your hands and kinda resembles the Roman Gladius.'' DAM commented earning a glare from the Gnoll, ''Anyway, we've set up a Lizalfo gel bust for you to destroy. You will first attack the unarmored one and then move on to the armored target.''
Mudwort simply emits a low growl as he gets in front of the targets and before DAM even gave the countdown the monstrous creature lunged forward and thrusts the sword into the gut of the torso with a sickening tear.
''Dude I hate when I don't give the countdown!'' DAM whined.
Ignoring the human's whining the Gnoll retracts his blade and swings the blade downward hitting the Lizalfo gel bust on the top of the head before he kicks the bust over. Setting his sights on the armored torso Mudword rushes forward and thrusts his blade into the bust's chest. He goes in for a sideways swing hitting the armored gauntlet before he flips the bust around and swings as hard as he could denting the armor.
''Time!'' DAM called out.
Mudwort heard DAM but refusing to listen to the command of a human the Gnoll took his short sword and will all his might thrusts the blade into the armor achieving penetration. Pulling his sword back out he looks over at the panel with a wide toothed grin which prompt Zivon to walk over.
''You killed the first target that's painfully obvious because you actually almost cleaved straight through the head and if this was a real person...well Lizalfo you would've chopped the brain in half! Pretty gruesome display there.'' Zivon commented before moving on to the armored gel bust, ''I'm seeing a huge dent left in the armor here and with the way the Lizalfos wore their steel plates it's only protecting their back side. However you did generate enough force to fracture a spinal column which isn't a kill in itself but a pretty terrible injury to have. The armored gauntlet did its job and you failed to generate enough force to break the Lizalfo's arm. You then thrust that sword into the armor getting 3 inches in and just barely cutting into the skin.''
Lizalfo expert Princess Zelda of Hyrule stepped forward and chipped in her two cents.
''This is a deadly weapon indeed but what the Lizalfo brings will outperform it due to its versatility.''
The Lizalfo responds to the Short Sword's assault with one of the most versatile weapons available within Hyrule.
''The Lizalfo would most commonly be seen using this.'' Zelda holds up a rather unique looking blade for the panelists to see, ''This is the Lizal Tri-Boomerang which was one of the most used weapons by these beasts. It was made of pure steel that measured 2 feet in length and weighed 2 pounds. Not only is it a great melee weapon it also functions as its name suggests as a distance weapon as well.''
''Well that certainly is one of the most intimidating looking weapons we've seen! It's the same test for you Zelda we got one Gnoll gel bust that's unarmored and the other clad in the steel lamellar armor. Think you're up for the job?'' DAM asked.
''Yes, ready when you are.'' Zelda replied before getting into position.
''In that case, 3...2...1...cut em up!''
Zelda lunges forward with her weapon in hand and swings at the bare gel bust getting it in the face getting almost all the way through the head before yanking the weapon out forcefully in a bloody spectacle. She then swings low into the chest of the stand in cutting deep into the body. Stepping to the side she sets her sights on the armored gel bust and to the surprise of everyone she throws her weapon at the target hitting it in the chest and actually piercing the armor causing the weapon to lodge in the armor.
''Yo that thing reminds me of the Zande warrior's Kpinga!'' Metal exclaimed excitedly.
Zelda walks over to the target and pulls the weapon out and swings sideways into the armor achieving more penetration just as DAM called time.
Zivon then walks over to assess the situation.
''Gonna start off with the unarmored bust here and with the first swing you struck it in the face and you managed to cut halfway into the head and the fact that you pulled back hard to get the weapon out caused more damage as you ripped out some of the teeth. This is some horrid damage here! Your second swing got deep into the chest cavity and I'm seeing you've cut a lung and managed to get the heart for another instant kill.'' Zivon explained before moving onward to the other target, ''You then took that thing and threw it at the armor hitting it dead center in the chest and we've got some level of penetration here but not enough to touch the skin. Same thing can be said with the second attack.''
''At least with us we wear armor the correct way! Your little lizards have their whole front open ready for me to gut you alive!'' Mudwort laughed.
''They may have an exposed front but these things make up for it with their speed. I don't think a brute such as yourself is used to dealing with an opponent like this.'' Zelda retorted.
Both these bladed weapons have shown their damage potential. Which one does the panel believe take the edge?
''I'm gonna go with the Lizal Tri-Boomerang all the way for its sheer versatility. It is literally a retrievable version of the Zande warrior's Kpinga!'' DAM started off.
''Sure the Gnoll's armor is actually worn in the front protecting him from the Boomerang but the fact that the Lizalfo can throw it and possibly get a kill shot with the head gives it my edge.'' Zivon seconded.
''The Short Sword is too basic and simple for my liking. I like the Boomerang for the extra range advantage and it has more blades too.'' Demigod added.
''With the Tri-Lizal Boomerang you can slash and get an instant kill, thrust and get an instant kill and throw it for an instant kill. The Short Sword is a deadly weapon in its own right but it is too simple. The Boomerang gets the edge for its amazing versatility.'' Rice Man concluded.
In short range weapons, the edge goes to the Lizalfo for the Lizal Tri-Boomerang.
Coming up! Two deadly impaling weapons skewer the opposition and then later, Gnoll? Or Lizalfo? Which beast will be the Deadliest Warrior?
XXXXXX
Gnoll, the vicious and feared hunter who captured and sold humans to slavery. Lizalfo, the speedy and persistent reptilian terror of Hyrule.
Both these creatures were formidable fighters and when things went to mid-range they relied on two impaling weapons. Up first will be the Lizalfo with the Forked Lizal Spear.
''The spear most commonly used by the Lizalfo was the Forked Lizal Spear. It had a two serrated steel blades forming a 'U' shape giving it two points of attack. It is about 5 feet in length and the blades are a little over 12 inches long made of pure steel.'' Zelda explained.
''Jeez man that thing is one of the nastiest looking spears we've seen.'' DAM said before pointing to a gel bust shaped like a Gnoll, ''We have here another Gnoll target for you and we've set this one up in the steel lamellar armor. You will have 15 seconds to deal as much as damage as you can.''
''Understood.'' Zelda said as she gets into position.
''Okay Zelda give it to them!'' DAM called out.
Without saying a word Zelda rushes forward with the spear and thrusts it into the stomach of the unarmored stand in with a loud tear that echoes throughout the Fight Club. Pulling the weapon out Zelda then swings the serrated blades at the gel bust's head cutting a portion of the face off earning a cheer form the panel. Smirking at her work the Hylian Princess then sets her sights on the armored bust and thrusts with all her might in the chest portion.
''Damn that did some serious damage.'' Zivon said as he walked over, ''You jammed that thing into this Gnoll's stomach and since you have two of those serrated blades you basically turned this thing's intestines into a mish mash of bits and shit. The bleeding from this and potentially dying from infection kills. You then took that spear and swung it '' He then moves on to the armored target, ''You thrust that spear into the chest area but unfortunately we only achieved 2 inches of penetration and you're not even touching the skin..erm, fur underneath.''
''That means this is one pissed of Gnoll and that's the last thing you want to face.'' Rice Man commented.
''Your big lizard spear is no match for my armor! Our spear will definitely penetrate yours and we'll rip a few scales away too!'' Mudwort yelped happily.
The Gnoll thrusts back with his own simple impaling weapon, the Iron Spear.
"This weapon was a common tool among our kind and many have fallen to its tip. It had a weight of 4 pounds and was 6 feet long, perfect tool to kill these lizards.'' the Gnoll explained.
''Talk about basic, well its the same test for you Mudwort. One unarmored gel bust and one armored and both are shaped like a Lizalfo so do your worst.'' DAM said.
Mudwort did not wait for DAM to give the go and the Gnoll straight up charged at the unarmored target and thrust his spear into the gut of the Lizalfo stand in with a tear.
''Man can I at least give the countdown?'' DAM whined.
Mudwort then pulled his spear out and thrusts it again into the target where the sternum was before kicking it over. Setting his sights on the armored stand in he runs over and knocks the target down causing it to fall face first onto the floor before raising his spear high and brings it down as hard as he could onto the armored back of the bust.
''Dead Lizalfo!'' Mudwort chuckled.
''First and foremost you impaled this Lizalfo through the gut hitting the intestines. While that may not kill on its own you run the risk of sending toxic matter into the body and if this Lizalfo doesn't go to some Hyrulean nurse for care its dead from infection. The second thrust got it in the sternum and you actually managed to pierce deep enough to hit the heart for an instant kill.'' Zivon then moves over to the other target, ''Well you pushed it down with enough force to knock the wind out of it and you brought that spear down onto the back here and you managed to pierce the armor and cut into the scales underneath. No kill though.''
''If you see one spear you've seen it all. The Lizalfo are bringing in a more lethal weapon and are quick enough to dodge the big and slow Gnoll.'' Zelda chimed in.
''True, but your big mean lizards mess up they're going to be impaled and roasted over a fire before I eat them!'' Mudwort said licking his lips.
Forked Lizal Spear? Or Iron Spear? Which impaling weapon is more deadly?
''I'm gonna grow a scrotum here and give this one to the Iron Spear. Sure it has only one spear head but that means the force of impact will be in a single concentrated area meaning more penetration power.'' DAM said.
''Oh hell no this one goes to the Forked Lizal Spear. Sure the dual tips take away some of the weapons penetration power but keep in mind that the blades are also very serrated meaning more potential for internal damage and a higher chance of killing even if you just wound the guy.'' Zivon countered.
''I agree, the Lizal spear's tip can also slash as well giving the wielder options.'' Demigod seconded.
''Same, gotta give the edge to the Lizalfos. Both sides won't pierce through the opposing armor and kill.'' Rice Man concluded.
In mid-range weapons, the edge goes to the Lizalfo for the Forked Lizal Spear.
Moving on to long range weapons both creatures bring out their bows in a display of archery and then later our battle begins to decide who is the Deadliest Warrior! For the Gnoll they bring in their trusted Longbow and for the Lizalfo they relied on the Steel Lizal Bow.
''The Longbow used by the Gnolls was a very deadly weapon. Perfect for killing these overgrown lizards! It was 67 inches in length, weighed 1 and a half pounds and made of wood and sinew.'' Mudwort explained.
''Perfect, and you Zelda?'' DAM asked turning to face the Princess.
''The preferred long range weapon of the Lizalfo was the Steel Lizal Bow. It was a recurve bow with steel added to it that increased its durability but at the cost of a weight increase. It was 4 feet in length and weighed 5 pounds.''
''We're gonna have you two test these weapons out against target logs. You will have 10 shots each. Mudwort you will fire at the red target logs and Zelda you'll take on the blue painted ones. You both will also have two of those logs being dynamic farther away.'' DAM explained.
''This will be fun.'' Zelda said with a smile.
''Time to kill some pathetic scaly lizards!'' Mudwort bellowed.
Both experts stood ready next to each other and readied an arrow.
''On my mark. 3..2..1..fire at will!''
Zelda and Mudwort raised their bows and let their arrows fly. Zelda would hit one of the static target logs while Mudwort barely misses his. Loading new arrows both experts aim at the targets once more and both were successful in hitting a static target. Both experts continued to pepper the static targets with their arrows with both missing one more arrow before they move on to the dynamic targets. They string their final arrows and while Zelda takes her time to aim at the moving log Mudwort just lets his arrow fly managing to hit the target. Zelda takes in a deep breath before firing and striking the log.
''Final score is 9 for Zelda and 8 for Mudwort. Good job warriors.'' Demigod congratulated.
Both the Gnoll and Lizalfo have shown their respective bows killing potential. Which one does the panel believe take the edge?
''I'm gonna call this even but the thing to take into account is armor. Both fire arrows that will not pierce the respective armor which is why I call it a tie.'' DAM started off.
''Even though the Lizalfo is wearing armor on the backside of it I still gotta call this a tie since on average they are very skilled archers.'' Zivon said.
''I agree, the Lizalfo's skill is canceled out by the Gnoll wearing the armor in the front of the body as well. Even for me.'' Demigod said.
''One bow is lighter and bigger while the other is smaller and heavier. There really is no advantage each have to gain the edge so even for me too.'' Rice Man concluded.
In long range weapons our warriors are locked in a draw.
Coming up! We conclude the testing with lethal special weapons and then later two vicious creatures battle to determine of is the Deadliest Warrior!
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Gnoll, the vicious killer from Faerun. Lizalfo, the calculating reptilian terror of Hyrule.
These two warriors bring in the most lethal special weapons as well as parts of their own body to kill. Up first will be the Lizalfo with a dual offensive of the Sickle Horn and the Tail Mace.
''The Lizalfos not only used actual weapons but also parts of their own body as well. Two of the weapons Lizalfos ould have on their bodies would be the Sickle Horn and the Tail Mace. Lizalfos of the silver variety are known to possess horns on their head shaped as the name implies scythes. Those measured over 3 feet long, weighed 2 pounds and was made of very dense bone and is strong enough to slice through anything in their path. The Tail Mace was more simple as it was simply a spiked ball tied to a Lizalfo's tail.'' Zelda explained.
Since we cannot not get a real Lizalfo to test out these weapons Zelda will be given weapons of equal size. The target? Another Gnoll sized and shaped gel bust clad in their trademark steel lamellar.
''Okay Zelda we will give you as much time as you need. We want you to deal as much damage as you can with these weapons got it?'' DAM asked.
''I am up for a good challenge.'' said the Princess as she gets into position.
''In that case Zelda. On 3...2...1...attack!"
First taking the sickle Zelda swings the blade as head as she could into the armored torso the blade actually managing to cut into the steel lamellar much to a cheers of the panelists. She then goes for a swing at the Gnoll shield partially slicing into it. Taking her scythe she then follows up with another swing that sees her decapitating the target's head sending stage blood everywhere earning more cheers. She then takes her flail and brings it down onto the shoulder heavily denting the armor. She then swings inward toward the armor and the spiked ball strikes with enough force to leave a noticeable dent.
Zivon makes his way over to assess the damage starting with the Sickle Horn's assault.
''I'm honestly so surprised at how sharp this horn is! You actually cut through the steel lamellar and I can see blood leaking out of the armor where you sliced him. It's not deep enough to kill but it is going to leave this Gnoll vulnerable to other attacks. I can see that you also cut into the shield but not enough to touch the Gnoll's arm behind it. You then decapitated the target for an instant kill. Finally moving on to the shoulder you managed to strike with enough force to break this Gnoll's shoulder and the strike to the chest would be sufficient enough to break a rib or two leaving him open to more attacks.'' Zivon explained.
''That's really cute swinging a that big horn and tail around. What I have will slice your tail off if you try to swing that puny tail at me.'' Mudwort laughed.
The Gnoll responds to the Lizalfo's assault with a dual offensive of its own.
''This is our favorite special weapon! The Battle Axe found among the Gnoll was a deadly weapon that weighed 2 and a half pounds and measured 32 inches in length. Another weapon we have to compliment this would be our fangs!'' Mudwort said baring his fangs for the panel to see, ''An average Gnoll's fangs measured 2 inches in length which is perfect for eating lizard meat.''
''It's gonna be the same test for you Mudwort. You have an armored Lizalfo before you so we want to see what you can do with your weapons.'' DAM said.
''This is fun!" Mudwort declared before getting into position.
''Well in that case let the fun begin!''
Mudwort wasted no time in charging at the target with his axe raised high above his head and with as much force he can muster brings the axe down onto the head of the Lizalfo hitting the steel plate with a loud clang. The blow leaving a visible dent in the armor and greatly rattling the target. The Gnoll then brings the axe down again on the armored head with another clang before swinging it horizontally into the exposed chest of the bust cutting deep into the body before swinging at the shield. Mudwort lets go of the axe and placing a both his hands on the torso he opens his mouth wide and bites down on the target's exposed throat before using his strength to lift the target up and begins to shake his head back and forth like a goddamned mad man for a few seconds before the target flies out of his mouth with a sickening tear. Mudwort then spits chunks of flesh out of his mouth and looks toward the panelists.
''I'm done.''
Zivon then makes his way over and kneels down to examine the mangled target.
''Damn that was some first class savagery! You brought that axe down twice on the head and even though it was protected you struck with enough force to fracture the skull. This leaves the target open for the strike to the stomach you cut deep enough to hit the intestines which will spill poop into his body cavity leading to an infection which will kill if not treated. Your strike to the shield did not generate enough force to break a bone in the arm though.'' Zivon then inspects the neck wound and could only wince at the sight, ''You bit down with a force over 1,100 pounds just like the average Hyena and that alone is enough to potentially crush the cervical spine if you bit the whole neck! You bit right through the flesh and severed the major arteries and veins within the neck. Another kill.''
''Unlike those scaly buffoons this is a real weapon that kills!'' Mudwort said.
Both warriors have shown off the lethality of their special weapons. Which one does the panel believe take the edge?
''Let's start off with the melee weapons and in the end I'm giving it to the Sickle Horn due to being much sharper and capable to cutting through most things. There's a reason fusing in TOTK makes it one of the strongest bladed weapons in the game.'' DAM started off.
''I agree 100%. The Gnoll's armor wouldn't protect him from it and if swung continuously he's dead.'' Zivon seconded.
''I find myself not disagreeing with you guys. Plus it has a more blade for more hurt compared to the axe.'' Demigod added.
''I think we're unanimous then, edge in the special melee category goes to the Lizalfo.'' Rice Man concluded.
In the first special weapons category the edge goes to the Lizalfo for the Sickle Horn.
''How about the second special weapons category? Who takes it? I'm inclined to give this to the Gnoll due to his weapon not being as unpredictable.'' DAM said a bit more indecisive in his choice.
''I'm going with the Gnoll's fangs on this one. That bite force is no joke and he doesn't run the risk of getting his fangs chopped off like the Lizalfo's tail.'' Zivon explained.
''The Lizalfo's Tail Mace is literally just tied to their tail so if they get their tail cut off they lose a win and the fight. Edge Gnoll.'' Demigod added.
''Agreed, this one goes to the Gnoll.'' Rice Man concluded.
In the second special weapons category the edge goes to the Gnoll for his fangs.
Moving on to the armor both warriors relied on high quality steel to protect them. The Gnoll wore the highly durable Steel Lamellar and carried with him his trusted Steel Shield. For the Lizalfo they wore Steel Plates and the Armored Gauntlet.
''I'm giving this one to the Gnoll since he is wearing his armor in areas that are vulnerable. He's just overall better protected honestly.'' DAM started off.
''Yeah I gotta say the Gnoll as well. His Shield also gives a second layer of defense the Lizalfo has to worry about.'' Zivon seconded.
''The Lizalfo is only wearing armor on his backside and even though it can protect itself with the armored gauntlet it is just not enough to win the edge.'' Demigod added.
''I don't know why the creators designed the Lizalfos that way it doesn't look cool, it's impractical and while we can alternate this and put the plates on the Lizalfo's more vulnerable areas we're going off with how they wore their armor in the game. Edge Gnoll.'' Rice Man concluded.
In armor, the edge goes to the Gnoll for the Steel Lamellar and Steel Shield...and for wearing his armor properly.
Coming up! Metal Harbinger reviews the x-factors and our creature feature battle begins!
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Welcome back to the Fight Club, here we tested out the weapons between two creatures to determine who is the Deadliest Warrior.
For short range weapons, the Lizal Tri-Boomerang's versatility cut down the Short Sword.
''More blades on it and can be thrown, that versatility can't be beaten it is as simple as that.'' DAM explained.
Edge: Lizalfo
For mid-ranged weapons, the dual, serrated spear tips of the Forked Lizal Spear skewered the Iron Spear.
''It has two spear tips and is serrated and you can slice with it too. Due to the serrations it causes more damage with each strike.'' Zivon explained.
Edge: Lizalfo
For long range weapons both the Longbow and Steel Lizal Bow were determined to be equals.
''Both are similarly skilled and both bows have no glaring advantage that wins them the edge.'' Demigod explained.
Edge: Even
For the first special weapons category the Gnoll's fangs proved more deadly and practical over the Tail Mace.
''The fangs are less unpredictable and the only way to stop them is to kill a Gnoll whereas you chop off a Lizalfo's tail you stop the threat. The Sickle Horn is sharper and can deal more damage even through armor.'' Rice Man explained.
Edge: Gnoll
For the second special weapons the Lizalfo's Sickle Horn proved more lethal and powerful over the Battle Axe.
''The Sickle Horn is lighter and is much sharper than the axe and can cause more damage in a faster time.'' DAM explained.
Edge: Lizalfo
And finally for armor, the Gnoll's proper wearing of his Steel Lamellar and Steel Shield proves more practical over the Lizalfo's Steel Plates, Steel Lizal Shield and Armored Gauntlet.
''While the Lizalfo has good armor it is only wearing the plates on the back...I don't understand that design choice by the Zelda development team but hey it looks cool. The Gnoll is wearing armor the right way protecting his chest which is why he gets the edge.'' Metal explained.
Edge: Gnoll
Now our resident Metalhead and Computer Wizz Metal Harbinger will evaluate the x-factors.
''I'm gonna start off with training and give a slight edge to the Lizalfo. While the Gnolls were great hunters the Lizalfo in some aspects like archery are far deadlier so they get an 80 to the Gnoll's 75.''
''For brutality the Gnoll takes it with a 90 to the Lizalfo's 80 due to the fact that they sell humans into slavery. The Lizalfo will taunt you as well if you fail to land an attack but that's it.''
Next is killer instinct and the Gnoll scored high with a 95 to the Lizalfo's 85. They savored the thrill of their hunts and preferred areas populated by a lot of humans and dwarves. Plenty of things to kill if you will.''
''Next is physicality and this was a draw with both scoring a 91. The Gnoll is a bit larger and physically stronger while the Lizalfo is a bit shorter, more stout and quick on their feet.''
''Finally we have intimidation and this one went to the Gnoll due to them being more physically imposing and much stronger than the average Lizalfo. Oh and I mentioned before they'd attack caravans and then take people hostage and sell them into slavery. I had to give the Gnoll a 92 to the Lizalfo's 85.''
Metal has now finished reviewing the x-factors and he will now run the simulator 1,000 times to determine who is the Deadliest Warrior.
Who will win between the most vicious and intimidating creatures of fantasy?
''In the end only one creature stands so let's see who it is.'' Metal said hitting the button.
XXXXXX
In the lush, green fields of Hyrule Field a lone, huge and imposing figure that looked like a bipedal Hyena was walking along a path leading up to a small river with a bridge over it. The creature was revealed to be a Gnoll in his steel lamellar armor and he was armed to the teeth on another hunt.
Recently he and his people have ventured into a new kingdom and after hunting and killing some strange fish people near Lake Hylia he was sent to scout further into the kingdom in search of more food.
Unbeknownst to the Gnoll another creatures was seen dashing toward the bridge and the figure was revealed to be a Lizalfo. The reptilian dashes onto the bridge and comes to an abrupt stop after sensing a presence on the other side. Not knowing who or what it was out of instinct the reptilian creature slowly backs away from the bridge and tucking his weapons into his side he goes to lay down beside a nearby tree, goes prone and activates its camouflage.
With that it was concealed it waited and watched as the Gnoll slowly made his way over the bridge and onto the other side of the river he unknowingly walks past the Lizalfo.
However he wasn't completely unaware as he swore he felt a presence near him. He turns to face the tree where the Lizalfo was concealed and seeing nothing the Gnoll shrugs it off and continues on his merry way. It was then that the Lizalfo, still camouflaged takes his steel lizal bow and strings an arrow onto it. The reptilian takes aim at the large bipedal Hyena and after getting the Gnoll in its sights let's the arrow fly and quickly dashes away and dives into the river.
The Gnoll hears the splashing and out of instinct turns around with his bow ready only to be struck in the chest. The Gnoll lets out a light yelp at the impact and looks at the ground in front of him to see the arrow broken in half thanks to his steel armor. Growling in anger the Gnoll spots a disturbance in the water where the Lizalfo had dived into earlier and fires his own arrow there hoping to kill his attacker.
The arrow was useless as it harmlessly pierces the surface of the water and the Gnoll waited a few seconds to see if the water would turn red with blood. Seeing that he had failed to hit whatever was attacking him the Gnoll strings another arrow and slowly makes his way over to river bank. The Gnoll bends over to get a closer view of the river and seeing a slight disturbance in the water he fires his next arrow.
He hears a pained hiss and is taken by surprise when the Lizalfo leaps out of the water with spear drawn and pointed downward hoping to skewer the Gnoll. Though initially taken by surprise the Gnoll, despite being such a big brute manages to dodge the attack losing his bow in the process just as the Lizalfo impales the ground with the Forked Lizal Spear. It was then the Gnoll managed to get a good look at his attacker and only licked its lips at the thought of a good, scaly savory meal he will have when he is through with the lizard.
Reaching for his Iron Spear the Gnoll lets out a roar before charging at the Lizalfo who was struggling to pull its spear out of the ground. Hearing the roar getting louder the Lizalfo turns to where the Gnoll was coming from and just as the Gnoll comes within striking distance the Hyena-like creature goes in for a thrust with his Iron Spear but the Lizalfo raised its shield protectively causing the spear to glance off the metal surface.
The attack however had a lot of force put behind it that the Lizalfo's shield was knocked out of his grip and seeing this the Gnoll, with a huge grin goes for another thrust aimed at the lizard's face. This time the Lizalfo lets go of the Forked Spear and raises the armored gauntlet it was wearing and the armor causes the spear tip to bounce off.
The next move the Lizalfo does catches the Gnoll completely by surprise as the lizard goes for an uppercut with the gauntlet causing the Gnoll to stagger backwards. Quickly reaching for its spear the Lizalfo then takes the chance to thrust the spear into the Gnoll but the steel lamellar protected the bipedal Hyena. Feeling the impact did little to deter the big Gnoll and out of annoyance takes his spear and charges at the Lizalfo.
The Lizalfo had no time to react as the Gnoll came barreling toward him at a high speed despite his size advantage and the Lizalfo could only raise his gauntlet in response to the assault.
Thanks to being the heavyweight in this fight the Gnoll crashes into the Lizalfo with enough force to send the lizard falling on its back though it did little to disarm it as it kept its grip on the Forked spear. The Lizalfo had the breath knocked out of it and looked up as the Gnoll brings his spear down but the quick footed lizard dashes out of the way and taking the opportunity slices into the Gnoll's exposed thigh cutting into his flesh and swats the Iron Spear away.
Yelping in pain the Gnoll fought through the uncomfortable feeling and quickly reaches for his Short Sword and swings down onto the lizard's head. The sword managing to hit with enough force to stun the smaller lizard momentarily. Seizing the opportunity the Gnoll swings and slices into the Lizard's thigh. Hissing in pain the Lizalfo then twirls its whole body around and the Gnoll only spots the tail mace at the last second and raises his sword high to block the blow only to have his sword knocked right out of his grip.
With no other option the Gnoll raises his shield protectively in front of him just as the Lizalfo swings around again and hits the shield with the tail mace. The Lizalfo continues the assault with the mace giving the Hyena no time to retaliate and just held his shield firm blocking every attack the Lizalfo sent his way. Eventually he felt a pain in his arm as the Lizalfo delivers a good hard swing with the tail mace and breaks a bone in the Gnoll's arm.
The Gnoll growls from how uncomfortable the pain was and simply shoves his shield forward at the Lizalfo mid spin causing it to fall onto the grass. He then tosses his heavily dented shield aside and drawing his battle axe lets out a roar of anger directed at the Lizalfo.
Not intimidated the Lizalfo draws its Boomerang and both warriors began to circle each other warily. The Gnoll would go for the first attack and swing his axe hoping to catch the lizard but the faster Lizalfo ducked under the swing and dashes straight for the exposed Gnoll and swings his Boomerang piercing the armor. Feeling the sharp blade cutting into his fur the Gnoll goes to bring the axe down but the Lizalfo was too fast and dashes around to the Gnoll's backside and tries to swing his Boomerang. The Gnoll was quicker this time and swings his entire body around with the axe hoping to catch the Lizalfo and seeing this the lizard raised its gauntlet to block the attack.
This was not a good idea however as the blow from the attack broke a bone in its arm and the force was strong enough to swat the armored arm away leaving the Lizalfo exposed. The Gnoll takes advantage of this and swings again hitting the Lizalfo in the side hitting the armor causing several of the lizard's ribs to shatter on impact and was sent flying away.
After landing the lizard tosses the Boomerang at the Gnoll managing to hit the Hyena creature right in the eye. Howling in pain the Gnoll yanks the Boomerang out and tosses it aside just as the Lizalfo runs up to him and goes in for a swing with its tail mace.
Not wanting to deal with that pesky tail anymore the Gnoll manages to sidestep and evade the blow and with brings his axe down chopping the Lizalfo's tail off. The Lizalfo lands on the ground hissing loudly in pain as the stump but absolutely refuses to give in. It gets up despite missing the tail and as the Gnoll comes closer it swings its head to utilize the horn on its head and slices into the Gnolls armor cutting the fur underneath drawing blood.
This failed to get the results it desired and only caused the Gnoll to be filled with with glee and some rage from the pain the Gnoll wasted no time bending over and grabbing the Lizalfo's horn by the base he snaps it off causing more pain to the lizard before opening his mouth and grabs it by the throat then proceeds to bite down.
Feeling this the Lizalfo could only struggle and after applying more pressure in his bite the Gnoll was rewarded when a loud snap was heard and the Lizalfo went instantly limp in his mouth.
Biting down even harder the Gnoll pulls his head back tearing a huge chunk out of the Lizalfo's neck and seeing his foe was dead he rears his head back and roars to the sky in victory.
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Winner: Gnoll
Gnoll: 510
Short Sword: 120
Iron Spear: 155
Longbow: 80
Battle Axe: 105
Fangs: 5
Lizalfo: 490
Lizal Tri-Boomerang: 134
Forked Lizal Spear: 156
Steel Lizal Bow: 80
Sickle Horn: 106
Tail Mace: 14
X-Factors
Training: 75/Training: 80
Brutality: 90/Brutality: 80
Killer Instinct: 95/Killer Instinct: 85
Physicality: 91/Physicality: 91
Intimidation: 92/Intimidation: 85
Armor Failure Rate
Steel Lamellar: 2% - Steel Plates: 10%
Steel Shield: 1% - Steel Lizal Shield: 1%
No Armor - Armored Gauntlet: 2%
Following another very close battle it would be the Gnoll who survives. It was thanks to its larger size, physical strength and wearing armor properly. The Lizalfo kept very close though thanks to its superior speed and amazing versatility of the Lizal Tri-Boomerang, the sheer cutting power of the Sickle Horn and extra offensive capabilities of the Armored Gauntlet.
''The Lizalfo was a strong foe but the fact that they only wore armor on their backside meant they were incredibly exposed to an attack. The Gnoll's harder hitting weapons also proved to be a factor in winning the fight.'' DAM explained.
''I knew it was gonna be another close match and in the end I was expecting the Gnoll to win based on how the Lizalfo wore their armor.'' Zivon said.
''Personally I'm not too surprised. The Zelda developers designed the Lizalfos in BOTW and TOTK with armor on their backside which is a strange design choice and that left the Lizalfo open to be killed by the Gnoll's weapons.'' Demigod added.
''Dammit! I'm a Zelda fan we haven't won in a while! Oh well we can't win them all and it makes sense too. If you're wearing armor only on one side of your body you're just exposing yourself to weapons. The versatility of the Lizalfo's close range weapons gave the Gnoll a lot of trouble though. Chalk this one up to Faerun's vicious hunters.'' Rice Man concluded.
''I am not worked up about the Lizalfo losing this battle. I've seen Link defeat plenty of them so I am not upset.'' Zelda admitted gracefully.
"It seems we are adding lizards to the menu! YUM!" a drooling Mudwort declared happily.
(The Gnoll was seen munching on the dead Lizalfo's body and let out a maniacal laugh as he savored the taste of lizard flesh. Behind him the Hero Link watches on as he draws his Master Sword ready to slay the beast.)
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Next time on Deadliest Warrior: Fiction Edition, it's our Halloween special when two antagonistic survivor groups of the apocalypse battle!
Whisperers: The highly territorial and primitive survivor group who wear the skin of the dead...
vs.
Rippers: Ruthless, crazed cult whose unmatched aggression and ferocity make them feared by all who cross them...
WHO IS DEADLIEST?!
And I apologize to other Legend of Zelda fans...again...
The Gnoll and Lizalfo are the rightful properties of Ed Greenwood and Nintendo respectively.
Author's Note: Well there goes another update! I also find really funny as earlier my good friend Metal Harbinger also updated his Fictional DW as I was working on the fight for this chapter so I thought 'fuck it, I'll finish and update too!' Anyway I hope you enjoyed the fight and have a good night folks.
