By the time Christmas Eve arrived, Feliciano spirits were a bit higher. He still desperately missed his family, but he had been able to speak on the phone with them during the days leading up to now since Ludwig had practically been dragging him to the the common room. Naturally, Feliciano protested at first, not wanting to be a thorn in the German's side. His objections quickly faded, however, after he got a chance to speak with Lovino, who was home for the holidays. Another small victory, was the food. This morning's breakfast had been real eggs with fresh toast, a very appreciated change up from the powdered eggs and stale bread that he had become accustomed to. On top of it all, he had gotten a package from both his parents and his brother. Even if the guards had to rifle through them beforehand, he refused to touch them until Christmas morning, like his family had instructed.
He was nearing the end of a Christmas Carol, when Ludwig came back into the library, holding two paper cups in his hands. The larger man had been taking trips out of the library more and more often, though Feliciano was actually glad for it. He was sure the German would get sick of his company at some point so any break, no matter how little, helped reassure the little Italian that he wasn't being too much of a nuisance.
"Come, there is something I must show you," Ludwig said, standing in the doorway with a small smile beginning to form. Feliciano hopped to his feet at once, bounding over to the other man.
"What? What is it? You know, we've broken the 'no food or drink' library about a dozen times now, I'm sure another time won't hurt," he said, eying the cups and assuming they were the reason Ludwig wanted him to follow. "It's cold out there, whoever runs this place needs to invest in some heaters, this morning I could hardly feel my toes and this sweater isn't big enough to cover me and my feet and wearing socks to bed makes me feel like a weirdo!" The German's smile grew as he repeated,
"Come." Feliciano gave a small huff, but complied and followed Ludwig through the hastily decorated corridors. At first, it struck the little Italian as odd since the direction they were heading led to the yard and he was about to protest further when he caught a glimpse of outside. It was snowing.
"Ludwig look!" The younger man exclaimed, pointing at the heavily protected window. Ludwig turned to look back him, but did not stop moving.
"That it is," he replied. Feliciano took a minute to watch the pretty fluttering flakes, then caught up with his cellmate. Surely the German was taking him somewhere else that just happened to be in the same area as the door to the yard, their crewneck sweaters provided some relief from the cold, but certainly they wouldn't be enough to keep out the elements. Yet, when Ludwig finally stopped, it was in front of the entrance to outside. Feliciano gave him a disgruntled look, to which the other man smirked at.
"Come," said Ludwig, back against the door, a single step the only thing between him and the bitter cold.
"But…" Feliciano began his objections again but was quickly interrupted.
"Come," it was firm, but there was still a sense of playfulness to it. Defeated, the little Italian kept his mouth shut and preemptively wrapped his arms around himself before following Ludwig's into the crisp, white landscape. The snow was coming down heavily, large flakes descending gracefully and coating the dirt and gravel that covered most of the yard. Feliciano was captivated by the stillness of the outside, although the snow was ceaseless, there was no wind so the flakes were uninterrupted as they fell. The cold was present, but it wasn't nearly as overwhelming as the younger man had expected. Still, it was enough that the yard was almost completely empty. He followed close behind Ludwig and he watched what little sunlight there was, dance off the calming white that surrounded them. They were heading towards the shelter that encapsulated the work out area. During summer it was open, just a roof to shield from the sun, but during the cooler months walls were put up with only one side left clear. When they entered, Feliciano noticed that it was warmer in here than he had expected. There was was a small heater fixed to the ceiling and while it didn't give off too much heat, it did help keep the small room more comfortable. One of the workout benches was pushed up against the back wall, facing out towards the snow and Ludwig motioned with his head for the younger man to sit. Feliciano complied, crossing his legs as he stared out at the dreamy landscape. Ludwig finally passed one of the cups he was holding to Feliciano and the little Italian took it, not breaking eye contact with the scene before him. His concentration didn't break until Ludwig sat on the bench next to him, draping something around the smaller man's shoulders. The blanket was the same scratchy material as the ones from their bunks, yet he welcomed it gladly as he further wrapped it around himself. At that moment, he also clued in to the cup that Ludwig had clasped between his large hands and cocked an eyebrow at the man.
"I thought you didn't drink hot chocolate?" He asked, slightly tilting his to one side. Ludwig gave him a sly grin.
"I do not," he took a sip from his cup and motioned for Feliciano to do the same. The younger man continued to stare at him quizzically as he brought the cup to his lips for a sip. It was coffee but there was a familiar taste of some sort of coffee liqueur, a generous amount at that since even from the small sip, he could feel the fire from it drop down to his belly. His eyes widened at the revelation.
"Ludwig! How did you-" He was cut off by the other man.
"There are ways," The German took another sip, before turning away and watching the snow. Feliciano knew it was a lost cause to press further and joined Ludwig in gazing at the gentle flakes that tumbled from up above. They sat quietly, both savouring their drinks and just appreciating the moment.
When their drinks were about halfway empty, Feliciano moved to readjust as his legs were beginning to fall asleep. While doing so, he passed his cup over to the other man to free up his other hand, but then stopped completely when he felt one of Ludwig's fingers graze against his own.
"What are you thinking?!" Feliciano scooted closer to the German and wrapped the blanket around the both of them, pouting. "You're freezing, you should've said something!" Ludwig simply shrugged, handing the cup back to its rightful owner before looking out again. The little Italian could see traces of red on the other man's cheeks, another consequence of the cold he assumed. The German's hands had felt like icicles and Feliciano was shocked that he wasn't shivering. There was very little space between them now that they were sharing the blanket and as the smaller man watched the snow fall, he could feel his heart rate increase and his body warm up. Oh well, at this this time his body's involuntary reaction to Ludwig could actually serve a purpose. Maybe it would help provide the man some much needed warmth.
"So, any more surprises up your sleeve that I should know about?" Asked the smaller man.
"We will have to see," The German replied simply. Feliciano smiled to himself and then leaned over, nudging the other man with his shoulder.
"Big meanie. But… Thank you for this…" He looked at Ludwig, thinking about how those sharp blue eyes were still more pretty than the wonderland that sat before them.
"It is my pleasure. You have been through many difficulties and deserve joy. Even if I cannot provide much…" The larger man looked back at Feliciano, a small look of defeat spreading across his face as he spoke the last few words. Feliciano rested his head on the other's shoulder, looking out.
"I don't know about that… I think you've done way more than you realize," as the little Italian spoke softly, he swore he could hear Ludwig's heart beat just a smidgen faster. They sat together like this until the lunch bell rang, their cups long since empty.
Most of the day continued on like normal, besides the sharp increase in food quality. The only other difference was that after dinner, they were playing Christmas movies in the common room on a projector screen and all inmates were welcome to join. Although, the room was a bit snug, Ludwig still effortlessly parted the crowd and they managed to snag a spot together amongst the fold-up chairs that now filled the space. As Feliciano watched, there were moments he forgot where he was and was only brought back by the occasional chatter of the other inmates, that was always followed up with a 'shoosh' from either the guards or Ludwig. A small fight had broken out at some point, but it was quickly tampered out as everyone boo'd since the film had to be paused until the culprits were removed. It was strange, not only was today his very favourite day since being inside these walls, but it was also becoming one of his favourite days in general. He knew it was stupid to be enjoying himself this much, really he had just watched the snow, had a drink and now was watching the same movies he had seen a million times. All things he had taken for granted in his real life. Still, he figured it was alright to just this once, let the good feelings flow throughout him.
Once the small marathon had ended, the room started to dissipate as the inmates slowly filed out. The pair went with them, following the group towards the cell blocks. However, when they were passing the corridor that led to the library, Ludwig quickly reached out, grabbing Feliciano's arm, and pulled him into the empty hall. The little Italian was surprised, but managed to to keep himself quiet as they departed from the rest of the crowd. They walked silently towards the library, Ludwig not losing his grip on the younger man. It wasn't until they were standing just in front of the door that Feliciano asked in a whisper,
"What are we doing? We're gonna get in trouble, we should get back before they notice we left," his eyes darted around until they met Ludwig's. The German placed a single finger to his own lips, signalling to the other to remain quiet. The younger man was still filled to the brim with nerves, but complied. Ludwig turned to open the door, then moved Feliciano in front of him as it swung open.
The little Italian was speechless as he was nudged forwards into the room so that Ludwig could shut the door behind them. The lights were off, but that didn't matter as the ceiling had been littered with glow-in-the-dark stars and there were candles burning brightly throughout the room. Some of the shelves had been moved and the cushions were stripped from the the chairs in order to make a makeshift bed on the floor. As well as the cushions, it had tons of pillows and blankets that Feliciano recognized from the bunks. Normally, you were only allowed one set of bedding per inmate, yet there were at least a dozen pillows alone here.
Feliciano was bewildered. How on earth could Ludwig had gotten this done? He had been with him the entire day and the library looked the same as always just a few hours ago. When he finally managed to peel his eyes away from the transformed room and turn to look at Ludwig, he realized the man had been staring at him, delight evident across his face.
"Wh-wha?" Was the only thing only thing that the little Italian could manage to choke out. The delight grew across the other's lips. The German led Feliciano to the makeshift bed and motioned for him to lay, which he did after a few more moments of gawking. He sat down and laid back against one of the shelves, where there were a pile of pillows protecting him from any sharp edges, and craned his neck upwards. The fake stars that glowed green were almost as beautiful as the ones outside that he missed so much. He could hear Ludwig at his desk, shuffling around inside of it before the German joined him on the pile of cushions and bedding, sitting across from him.
"Here," the larger man said, holding something out for the little Italian. He looked to see a plastic wine glass in his hand, already filled with what looked like red wine, which just so happened to be Feliciano's drink of choice. He accepted it carefully, almost like if he made any quick movements, the dream would shatter around them and he would suddenly be waking up in the bunk of their shared cell. The stars were reflected off the wine but broke apart as Ludwig gently tapped their glasses together.
"Merry Christmas, Feliciano," he said warmly as he took a sip. The younger man had expected Ludwig to have some other surprise waiting for him, but there was no way he had seen any of this coming.
"Merry Christmas, Ludwig," he replied, the shock starting to fade from his body. He took a decent gulp of the wine and then placed it carefully on a shelf before shuffling around so he was laying completely on his back in order to fully take in the soft glow from the fake stars. The larger man followed suit, laying next to him, their arms just barely touching.
"How did you know how much I was missing the stars?" Feliciano asked. Slowly his thoughts were returning to him and as much as he was enjoying the moment, he needed some answers.
"Because I have missed them as well," the other man replied softly, voice just above a whisper.
"I know you're not gonna tell me how you did this, but aren't we going to get in trouble? They've definitely finished counts by now and if we're not in our cells, the whole place will go on lockdown and when they find us, I don't think they're gonna be understanding just because it's Christmas. What if they're really angry and separate us? I don't know what I would do if that happened but it wouldn't be good, I would like like a sitting duck and what if my now cellmate is someone awful?" He was about to continue letting his panicked thoughts escape his lips when he felt a large hand wrap around his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"Tonight is not for worries," Ludwig told him. Feliciano felt his pulse begin to race and turned to look over at the man holding his hand. The German was already staring back at him. He had meant to say something else, but whatever it was, it had completely left his mind and his thoughts then became consumed by how gorgeous Ludwig looked in this light. Normally, it was his eyes he was drawn to, but right now he was taking in every feature of the other man's face. His strong jaw and sharp cheek bones, the small dark tattoo that was just below his right eye, a symbol that Feliciano didn't know, the way when he relaxed some strands of his pale blond hair would break free and frame his face. His lips, pale pink and that looked so soft and plush. The little Italian caught himself staring at those lips, only to realize Ludwig was staring right back at his.
Then, the question struck his mind like a bolt of lightening. The younger man shot up, retracting his hand from Ludwig's and instead filled it with his wine glass, finishing it off. He brought his knees towards himself and curled forwards, staring into the cup and swirling around the remaining droplets. Ludwig sat up as well, looking quizzically at the other's sudden movements.
"May I?" The German reached out a hand towards the glass. Feliciano handed it over quickly and heard the sound of it being refilled. Once it was back in his own hands, he took another large drink, working up his courage. Ludwig reclined again, but instead was leaning back on his elbows, curiously watching the other man. After a long while, and a few more sips of wine, he spoke.
"Ludwig… Can I ask you something personal?" Another long silence.
"Ja," the other man finally responded. This was it and there was no backing out now. If he was going to feel this way towards another man, he needed to know what kind of man he really was.
"Why did you do it…? Why did you…" He paused, not being able to bring himself to say the actual words, "Why did you do the thing that you did that landed you in here? I just don't get it. I know I don't know much about your past but I don't understand how someone like you could do something like that…" There. It was out and no matter what Ludwig told him, he would be able to figure out the battle that always seemed to be raging in his mind. This time, the silence went on for what seemed like forever. Feliciano kept his eyes on his glass, his hands beginning to shake. Finally, the larger man let out a large sigh and began to speak.
"I started working for mein father when I was fourteen. He was… difficult man. But he had pride. I respected him. He ran the family business and had a strong code of honour, one that I always followed. He passed with no warning. Mein brother was the one who was to take his place but mein brother did not want to. He ran. There were many partners in this business and they believed me too young to take over. I foolishly allowed them to take over and continued mein work. Things changed, the code of honour was no longer being followed. They did not want me to find out, yet I did." Ludwig paused to throw back the rest of his wine and poured himself another glass. The next few words dripped with venom,
"I knew about the things Alfred would do outside. They disgusted me. You are not the first human being he has sold. Mein father never would have stood for a man like that in our organization. His partners on the other hand had made a deal with Alfred's boss, without informing me. I was… very angry when I found out. I tracked the man down, to his home. I no longer could think. I saw red, ran on instinct. I only meant to confront him, but some part inside knew what I was to do. After it was finished, and the man would no longer harm anyone again…" There was a slight tremble in his quiet voice when the next words came,
"I saw them… They were in the corner and saw everything. They were so afraid… I did not… know… didn't see… I…" He took a long deep breath, steadying his voice. "I am sorry that you are forced to spend your days with a monster."
Feliciano finally turned to look at him. Ludwig was laying on his side now, propped up by an elbow and facing the little Italians direction but his eyes were shut, face twisted in shame. The larger man continued,
"If you do not wish to speak anymore, I understand. I will still make sure no harm is to fall on you. You should not have to be around someone like me." Suddenly, Ludwig's face was covered by something soft and warm. Shortly after, he felt arms wrap around his head and shoulders and a face resting on his hair. The stunned German's eyes flew open at the embrace.
"You're exactly who I should be around," the smaller man said into his hair, his voice quivering. Ludwig sat up as best he could and wrapped his arms around Feliciano, pressing himself into the embrace. The little Italian was shaking in his arms, unable to stop the flow of tears.
"You aren't a monster, okay? And I don't ever wanna stop talking to you so please don't leave… Please stay with me." Ludwig's arms tightened around the smaller man, clutching him as firm as he could without risking hurting him. When Feliciano had calmed down and the tears were slowed, the German slowly leaned back, gently breaking free from the embrace. Instead, he reached up and places his hands on either one of the younger man's cheeks, cradling his head in his hands. He stared deep into Feliciano's damp eyes before speaking again,
"As long as you want me, I will not leave," his voice firm, carrying his conviction. Even if there was any sort of hint of wavering in the German's voice, his eyes reassured Feliciano that he truly meant those words. They continued to stare into each others eyes, saying more with looks than they could with words. Slowly, Ludwig removed one had and placed it on Feliciano's hip as the other moved to the back of the younger man's neck. Heart pounding in his ears, the little Italian began to lean in, hesitant and unsure. The German followed suit, his fingers beginning to entwine with the other's loose curls.
When their lips finally met each others it was gentle, yet Feliciano could feel fireworks throughout his entire body. It was everything the younger man had been anticipating and more. He had been correct, Ludwig's lips were soft and he moved them with purpose as any hesitations left his body. Feliciano's tightened his arms around the other's shoulders, pressing himself firmly into the kiss, deepening it. Their lips parted and as his tongue grazed Ludwig's lower lip, he tasting the wine that they had been enjoying earlier. He began exploring the other man's mouth with his tongue, letting out an occasional quiet moan. Although, there was more desperation flowing through there bodies, the kiss still managed to be just as gentle and sweet. Ludwig's hand started to move from the smaller man's hip and travel around his body. It sent currents through Feliciano's body as it twitched whenever Ludwig would run it over a sensitive spot. In response, the younger man fully pushed himself into the kiss as it began getting sloppier and more heated. With his hand firmly on Feliciano's back, Ludwig began to move, carefully laying the little Italian down, positioning himself over top of him. Once Feliciano was on his back, he moved his arms from around Ludwig's shoulder, running them over the other man's barreling chest, down to his abdomen.
Ludwig was the first to break the kiss, but his lips instead found Feliciano's neck. He kissed up and down the younger man's neck, gently sucking and biting as he went. Feliciano moaned in response, his body squirming underneath Ludwig's. He felt the buttons on his jumpsuit come undone as his hand found the back of the German's head, grasping his hair. As the buttons became undone, Ludwig followed, kissing lower and lower down Feliciano's body. The stimulation was driving the younger man insane and he couldn't help devolving into a mess of panicked moans, his body writhing with anticipation. When Ludwig finally reached the last button, he pulled away and began working on his own uniform. Feliciano feverishly removed the jumpsuit, leaving him in just his briefs, the German soon had matching attire. He returned to his position back on top of the younger man and moved his lips close, pressing them delicately to the other's lips. Feliciano immediately reached up and grabbed the back of Ludwig's head, forcing him closer and resuming their previous intensity. As their tongues battled and danced with each other, the larger man reached a hand down, rubbing Feliciano through his briefs. The Italian whimpered into the other's mouth and Ludwig took it as a sign to reach his hand inside, beginning to stoke the man laying under him.
"Oh, shit," the younger man exclaimed, his head involuntarily being thrown back. Ludwig removed the hand from the other's underwear, deciding just to get rid of them altogether. The smaller man shifted his hips to help accommodate him. The German put two fingers on Feliciano's lips.
"Suck," Ludwig's voice was breathy and while he had meant it to be soft, it came out as more of a low growl that drove Feliciano wild. The smaller man did what he was told, opening his mouth as they glided in they moved throughout his mouth and played with his tongue. Once he was satisfied, he replaced them with his lips and said,
"Good boy," just before they collided. Although Ludwig had barely only given him a couple strokes, he already felt like he was going to explode. The larger mans hands again moved downward, this time stopping just before Feliciano's entrance. He began slowly inserting a digit as the Italian opened his legs further. Ludwig began slowly opening him up, pausing any time the man under him winced. Once he was able to get three fingers inside without Feliciano feeling too much discomfort, he removed them and moved his lips to just in front of the other man's ear.
"You are sure you want this?" To be honest, he had asked far too late. Any doubts or concerns that Feliciano may have had were long gone, clouded by the wanton need for his body to feel Ludwig's. He nodded quickly, desperate for the man to continue. The German leaned back, gathering up the spit in his mouth before releasing it across his fingertips. He ran them across the smaller man's entrance before pulling down his own underwear and lining up his tip. Very slowly, he began to press into Feliciano.
"Tell me if I hurt you," he said, peaking up to meet the younger man's eyes. Feliciano nodded, biting his lip and watching Ludwig's taught body. When he had gotten the head completely inside, the German rested a palm flat on the ground next to Feliciano so he had a place to put his weight. The Italian reached out and put a hand on Ludwig's shoulder, gently rubbing. It did hurt, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. Ludwig let out a breath that was almost a moan and continued to push further. This time, Feliciano took a sharp breath and gripped the other's shoulder. The German completely stopped and watched the younger man's face and only resumed once his was given a reassuring nod. Ludwig was a very well proportioned man so it took a while before he was completely inside. He gave Feliciano a chance to catch his breath and the younger man appreciated his restraint. After a comfortable amount of time passed, he began moving again slowly beginning to thrust. It had all felt strange to the Italian but he wanted to do this with Ludwig, to share this experience with him. Yet, the more the other man moved his hips, he could feel waves of pleasure start to overtake him. The German leaned in, bringing their lips together once again. It was much less feverish this time, but still managed to be just as passionate.
As Ludwig began to quicken his pace, Feliciano's hands began to roam, tracing over the other's hard muscles. The German reached between them once again and began to stoke the man underneath him, sending a jolt of fire throughout his body. He devolved into a mess of sweat and moans, wrapping his legs around Ludwig as if he could bring him any closer. The larger man's grip grew firmer and Feliciano was unsure how much longer he could hold on. But by the sounds of Ludwig's quick breaths with near moans being slipped in more and more, it was a good guess the German was also close to his limit. With a few more deep thrusts and firm strokes, Feliciano couldn't hold back any longer and his body convulsed as pleasure rushed to fill every corner of his being. At the same time, Ludwig let out a series of low growls as he slammed his hips against the other man, filling him. He collapsed on top of Feliciano and took a moment to catch his breath before rolling off. They laid there, panting in in the afterglow of their shared orgasms.
"Ludwig?" The younger man asked, finding the other man's hand in the dark and entwining their fingers.
"Ja, Feliciano," he replied, still breathless.
"I don't even know your favourite colour…" Ludwig could do nothing other than laugh.
