There was this one thing that a young woman knew about herself and that was she was Irreparably broken, or at least that was what all of her loved ones would always tell her. A young woman who did not feel love or shame without the pain she only saw in her fantasy, or at least that was what she hoped. The blonde heir to a house of nobles too sheltered to see she was hurting others to chase a momentary high, all until recently. A broken woman who relies on others without truly giving something in return, until she lost something that she held dear. She had run away from home to chase more intense highs as an adventurer only to find a new home, a new home that grew colder by the day. She still chases that high, she still wants to reach her peak, and she wants it all with the man that she grew to love and respect, and yet there is no love behind that man's eyes, that man gave her what she wanted and there was no high... No peak to the love she felt, no fulfillment, no goal, no emotion from the man, just pain, just an unending torture. Just what the man saw her as her useless self, a woman too broken to function on her own, the useless Crusader class adventurer Lalatina Ford Dustiness, and it hurt her.
"It hurts..."
It all started the day that one of the generals of the demon king came to live just beyond the city limits of her home, the pervert Dullahan Beldia, or at least that's what she leads others to believe after a failed attempt to curse her, that was the first time the man of her dreams accepted her, or at least that was what she thought. She had joined his party from that day forth, but she fooled herself into believing that they saw the world the same, but that wasn't the case. What she felt was not the same as everyone else, and it caused them trouble. Slowly the cracks started to form, and the broken and twisted started to show themselves more. An archwizard who just like her thought nothing but her high, an archpriest that was too diluted by delusions to the point that her false grandeur was her personality, and there was her... She wasn't sure where to begin, which left her beloved. A good man, a man who stood by them all until the cracks caused him to break like they had been. The unfair, almost evil part of this all is he did not deserve any of it, any of the debt, any of the hardship, any of the difficult quests, the pain, and death.
"Why does it hurt so bad?"
She had to watch that man beheaded by a monster to save her in her haze to chase that high, the joy in domination and punishment. That was the first time, for many things, for Lalatina... It was the first time she felt true pain, it was the first time she felt true love for him, it was the first time that she felt shame in her actions, it was the first time that anyone had ever died because of her, and it was the first time that she had not smiled at the high of the moment.
"Make it stop..."
The archpriest did not haste; she jumped into action to reattach his head, putting her life on the line to save him, all the while Lalatina sat frozen to the spot where he had forced her in, saving her life. Now that she thought about it, that was the first time that she had felt love for him, covered in his blood only repeating his name.
"Make it stop, make it stop Kazuma... Kazuma."
That was the first step to her realizing that this party, she was doomed to fall. She was a fool, she shouldn't have tried to appeal to him from the very moment that she had heard about him, now that she thought about it he could have never provided what she was looking for. Kazuma was far and away from the man that this Lalatina wanted. It was the party that put that image of him out there, the image of an unforgiving pervert. It was her fault that image plagued him, her, and the party's for constantly putting him in situations where he had to cover for them and protect them from themselves and others that would hurt them. She fell deeper because of that until she was in her own head unable to see things as they were, just how much he had to do not to abandon her or the other two.
"Kazuma... Kazuma... Kazuma."
That's when this party would fail for the last time. One day out of the blue he snapped, he had enough of the archpriest and wizard, enough of the suffering he was put through, and he lost it on the archwizard. You see the crimson demon was the reason they had failed a mission too focused on her high that she had put Lalatina in danger, and Kazuma lost it, it took everything in him not to speak his mind to her, she was a person Lalatina called a friend, she who would have struck Kazuma in her rage, she who was slapped by Lalatina, she who was voted out of the party, her former friend Megumin. It was for the best she told herself, but that was not the case. Megumi left Axel soon after not being able to find another party, being replaced by a person of the same race and class, Yunyun.
"Kazuma... Kazuma... Kazuma."
After that incident he started not taking her or the archpriest on quests that he deemed too dangerous, he even started training her in her weapon, becoming proficient himself. Time had passed and she did not improve, the training became rougher and even that faded in the end. With that, he stopped taking her on quests altogether, not that he was taking her on the ones she wanted. Then one day Kazuma returned with the archpriest after taking a job for just the two of them. That was the worst that could happen to them, Kazuma had returned late with an archpriest with a face filled with bliss.
"It's not fair."
Continuing for a few more times the archpriestess changed, and little by little the woman who called herself a goddess became overwhelmingly sweet towards Kazuma. She called him her champion, the person that she gave a heavenly boon, and it rubbed Lalatina the wrong way. Where the two fought was replaced by the faux-goddess trying to spoil the man. Where her idioms and nonsensical speech would be met with rolled eyes were detailed plans and a refreshed aptitude towards life. Though she still saw herself as the divine, her character around strangers was no longer that, she was the very image of her class, and she insisted that the behavior would stay if Kazuma would bring her on quests that would put him or his companions in danger. This was what Lalatina had to face now where she was the closest to him was now replaced by the false goddess Aqua.
'Have you ever thought of doing what she did, changing the precognition centered around you, Eris for all her faults was right to choose you despite not making you hers. You are far in all ways well suited for him than the others, yet you are further than any of them. Do you know why?'
"Please tell me..."
'Because you seek praise where you should be the one praising, you are too deluded to see that the punishment you seek is not a reward that that boy is willing to give, and you are within yourself that the mask you wear is far above the person you are, and the cracks are starting to form on it. You need a hard long look in the mirror. Darkness the adventurer was never the true you, was it?'
"What can I do?"
'Aqua may be an idiot but she was right to choose him despite being corrupted in the end. Her champion in all honesty was the best thing for her, in her current state the celestial of flame is far better for this world than the water fool she replaced. So with that, I can do the same for you Darkness, you can become my champion and you can become what you wish for in the truest sense, Lalatina Ford Dustiness the champion of conquest.'
"Bell, or should I say Belldona? We need to talk."
"Ah, Eris. To what do I owe the pleasure? Come to join the fun, perhaps?"
"This isn't a social visit. It's about Darkness. You've taken her under your wing, and she is deteriorating. Why?"
"Oh, dear Darkness. She's quite the fascinating case, isn't she? So broken, so desperate. It's almost poetic."
"This isn't a game, Belldona. Darkness is suffering. She needs guidance, not manipulation."
"Guidance, you say? And what have you offered her, Eris? A nudge towards Kazuma? A man who can never give her what she truly seeks?"
"Kazuma is kind. He sees the good in her, even if she can't see it herself. But your influence... it's pushing her towards the edge."
"Oh, Eris, always the idealist. Darkness needs more than kindness. She needs purpose. She needs to embrace her true nature."
"And that is? Becoming your champion? What does that even mean for her? More pain? More suffering?"
"She will become my champion of conquest. She will find strength in her brokenness, power in her pain. She will be more than just a lost, masochistic adventurer. She will be unstoppable."
"You're using her. She doesn't need to be your pawn to find strength. She can find it within herself, with the right support."
"Support? From whom? You? Kazuma? Face it, Eris. You've already failed her. Your naive belief in love and kindness has only brought her more despair."
"You don't understand. She can be saved. She doesn't need to be a pawn in your games."
"And you, Eris, don't understand the depth of her pain. But fine, let's play your game. I'll give her the choice. To remain under your flimsy guidance or to become something greater. Let's see what she chooses."
"She'll choose love and hope over your twisted promises."
"We shall see. But remember, Eris, it was your push towards Kazuma that started this. You might be the goddess of fortune, but you certainly gamble with people's hearts."
"I'll save her. No matter what it takes."
"Do try. It will make this all the more entertaining."
