Welcome to a one-shot I was dared and self-dared to write.
This might become a series. It might not. I just want more Adventure Time fics out there, so I'm writing something. Let me know if you think this has potential or if I'm yapping.
Sidenote: while it's not confirmed, I think there's enough evidence for me to call the Lich a primordial and get away with it; don't strangle me, lore-fiends.
Let's do this.
BetaReaders: BFTyrant, Chris, Daki, Rockmean, Luxutor, Tupjunk, and Megadumbo.
…
Swirling green storm clouds hovered over a barren, frozen wasteland, with the howling wind only accompanied by the maddened cackles of a young man-
He would speak of the frost and the secrets it would unleash-
How the crown would save the world with its icy tomes-
But there was no salvation to be found-
Hundreds of people stood frozen, victims of its induced insanity encased entirely in ice, and their only protectors-
Were two brothers: a human boy and a dog unlike any other.
"Bring the book."
A voice echoed over the landscape, demanding and ruthlessly efficient, a being unlike any other, focused only on one task: the eradication of all life-
—the Lich, with his deformed skull protruding off the yellow body of a small canine, stretched far beyond natural limits, carrying a similar, unmutated dog in his claw-like hand.
Farmworld Finn ran off after his 'friend,' a toothy smile on his paling face, "Okay, buddy! Are we gonna save the world now!?"
Meanwhile, Finn the human, the last hope for this world, could only watch, frozen in a block of ice, as his brother and the fate of the world...no...All worlds, got further away by the second.
With the wave of a hand, the Lich ordered his subject to act, "Bobby."
The hero groaned as his gemstone activated, shooting a beam of blue light across the Enchiridion, opening the hidden compartment along the front of the mythical book, allowing the gemstones to insert into their rightful places-
Farmworld Finn smiled, removing one of his crown's jewels with a mechanical arm, putting the last piece where it belonged, and as he did, a beam of orange light shot downward into the pool of glowing water around them, and with a splash-
*BWIR
The reflection distorted, becoming a pond of interconnected bubbles of various sizes, shapes, and colors-
Realities, every single one of them-
Being looked down upon by one of the worst threats in existence.
Ice-Finn laughed, looking down at one, "What dimension is this?"
The Lich didn't react, "All of them."
"That's great! Then we can live everywhere!"
"Everywhere you will meet oblivion."
"Ehe...what?"
*CRASH
Back at the glacier, the ice around Finn's right palm exploded as the grass sword shot out of his palm like a vine, aiming to sever the Lich's arm, but as the ancient being leaned out of the way, allowing the tool to slink past his skull by mere inches, it reacted-
The grass sword wrapped around the enlarged creature like a snare, lifting him into the air before slamming the Lich into a nearby ice wall, the impact sending Jake falling from his hold.
The stretching dog groaned, rubbing his head as he coughed up the Lich's foul, dark breath, "Ohhhhh...Lady?"
Finn tried to scream but couldn't, and his cursed blade reacted, springing a second whip to break him out of the ice with a mere few swipes.
He took off running the second he could, skirting to a stop beside his brother, "Jake!"
The older sibling squinted, "F-Finn? What are-"
A sudden scream from the teen broke his daze as the Lich broke an arm out of his binding, grabbing the grass sword before pulling Finn closer, dragging the hero along the icy ground-
Jake launched with a roar, "Hang on, Finn! GRAHHHH!"
His body stretched in all directions, slamming into the Lich's legs, rapidly wrapping around the primordial's limbs as he continued to pull Finn toward certain death-
Finn winced, his mind-blasting through image after image of the Lich and what he was capable of-
What he would do if he or Jake got near-
His breath was cold-
He was afraid.
The human boy screamed as his blade reacted to his emotions, rapidly expanding, taking over his entire arm, as it severed the Lich's own with a demonically perfect strike, sending the flailing piece of flesh to the ground-
The Lich could not smile-
But he could certainly laugh-
"Do you think this changes anything, child?"
His yellow torso twitched and stretched as something within tried to tear its way out before, in a burst of liquid, his ribs distorted, and two new sets of arms emerged below the original-
They grabbed Finn's green appendage and began to pull anew, and all the while, the ancient scholar would speak-
"I have done this a thousand-fold in a thousand of your lifetimes. This fleeting moment of bravado is but one of many failures. You will die here, along with the rest of all that you hold dear."
Jake's white eyes widened as he saw the terror across
Finn's face and that worry turned to rage-
The dog growled, shooting a foot to the side, putting more and more mass into it until its size eclipsed a building, and then-
He let it fly.
Time slowed-
And the Lich's flame-like orbs shifted ever so slightly-
*BOOOOOOM
Dust exploded out in every direction-
The blow had landed, but-
The smoke would clear, and the Lich still stood, having caught the attack with a bare hand.
The two fell into a clash of giants, with Jake sliding an extra leg beneath the giant's legs, knocking him off his feet before tackling him to the ground.
Finn shuddered, knowing it wouldn't last, and looking backward toward his farmworld self, who was just staring off into the void in a treanse, "DO SOMETHING!"
The icy teen turned to him in confusion, "W-what?"
Finn didn't have time for this, and all he could do was shout, "I know you're all jacked up from the crown, but do something, or you, your parents, Jake, and everyone else is dead!"
...
...
That seemed to click for the boy.
Farmworld Finn slowly nodded, raising a palm toward the still struggling Lich, "R-right...what? My-...My powers, why aren't they...Oh!"
He looked up, "The book!"
...
...
The Lich immediately stopped struggling with Jake, his gaze turning toward the boy-
The world went dark-
"Stop."
It was like reality itself had come to a standstill.
Finn-
Jake-
Even Farm World Finn-
All of them had gone still, locked into place, with the two brothers still attached to the Lich. He paid no mind and focused solely on his one true objective.
The Lich began to march toward the eerie abyss of dimensional liquid, dragging the pair with him, staring at the crown as he went-
"A fragile piece of machinery and magic created to prevent my arrival... A fruitless endeavor, much all the others, for I am a constant, a persistent sail in this sea of reality, never straying, never changing from my one true path."
He neared the edge and stopped, staring at Farmworld Finn, and soon raised a palm, allowing a green burst of flame to ignite, "The crown will soon break my hold, but before I allow such a thing to pass, I will grant you the nothingness from whence you came."
As the flames drew closer-
The Grass arm reacted once more-
Finn's arm shot toward out, severing the Lich's hand, sending the limb tumbling into farm world Finn, causing the teen's outstretched hand to slap the Enchiridion.
The book's glow began to dim as all three helplessly fell into the abyss of interdimensional fluid, dividing amongst the realities and disappearing from this one-
forever
The grass blade wasn't done; it blasted out toward the edge of the glacier surrounding them, and with a series of precise cuts, the grass shifted into a whip, wrapping around a massive chunk of ice, hurling it toward the Lich, casting a shadow over the entire arena.
The Lich watched it approach and saw the portal below start to fade away and utter in indifference, took a step closer, "Come with me, child, to the end, and to the beginning."
The brothers would fall with the scholar into the unknown as the glacier came crashing down, sending the temporal liquid in all directions, pulling everything in sight into the void.
In a distant place, Prismo would cringe at how bonked he was when his boss found out.
...
...
BWOOSH
A shimmering portal would open over lands unknown, and soon, they emerged, immediately set upon by an updraft of wind as snow blasted into their faces.
Everything was falling: frozen people, toxic waste, the heroes, and the nemesis of all life.
Jake winced as the Lich's howling laughter made his ears ring, stretching his skin into makeshift window wipers for his eyes, looking down to see land quickly approaching-
The dog growled, untangling himself from the ancient being slithering toward his baby brother as his mass surged into his hand, dwarfing the giant being as his fingers bent down-"
"Get out of here!"
*BOOOM
The Lich hardly noticed the attack coming, too absorbed in his victory, and like a bug, Jake flicked him downward, sending the creature plummeting through the clouds toward the ground with an audible blast from below.
Jake quickly stretched into a parachute, wrapping around Finn's arms as they slowly descended, "You okay, bro?"
Finn groaned, slapping a hand against his temple, "Yeah, man. Thanks for the save."
"Any time...and...Finn?"
"What's up, man?"
Jake looked down, knowing what was waiting for them beneath the thin layers of water vapor, "I know I said it before, but if we bite it here...I love you, Finn. Don't you ever forget that, little brother."
The teen smiled, reaching out a closed fist, "I love you too, Jake."
The dog stretched out an extra arm and they fist bumped over the unknown.
Finn lowered his arm with a frown, "I really screwed up big this time, huh?"
Jake shook his enlarged head, "You gotta stop putting these expectations on yourself. It ain't healthy."
"It's the flippin' Lich! If someone doesn't stop him, then-"
"I know, but you can't keep beating yourself up over every little thing. We're still here, you and me, so let's figure something out. Brother style."
"Brother style?"
Jake laughed, "Yeah, man."
The human put his hands to his back, feeling cold metal, "Well, I've still got Finn-sword, but...Oh, Glob!"
"What?"
"The Maid!"
"What about it?"
"It's back in farmworld, dude! What are we gonna...wait-"
Finn looked out across the horizon, watching as random chunks of ice continued to spew out of the portal as it began to fade, "All that junk is falling in...the Maid might've dropped in, too!"
Jake grinned, "See? We're still in this. We just gotta go-"
His lips jiggled as his face extended into a groan, "Ahhhhh, it's down there with the Lich, isn't it?"
The human hero nodded, "Farmworld Finn is probs down there too-"
"We really need a better name for him."
"Well, he's kinda me, so-"
"Yeah, but he's totes ugly."
"Hey! That's sorta me you're dissing!"
"Nah, you don't have those big ol' eyes and weirdo nose-"
Jake laughed, shaking Finn from side to side, "My bruddah's a hit with the ladies."
Finn chuckled, "I think it runs in the family."
"Oh, you know it does...see, dude. Things are only as bad as you make them out to be. So, let's do what we always do. Kick some evil butt and go home and get BMO to make us some of them sausages!"
Finn pumped his arms, "Yessss!"
The pair locked eyes, and with a firm nod from both, the human steeled himself, "Jake, I think it's time for dive-bomber mode. You drop me in, and while I'm fighting the Lich, you go find the Maid-"
The dog gave a giant thumbs up and, like that, morphed into a glider, shooting straight down as the wind pulled Finn's face back-
As they fell, Jake squinted, "What about ice-you?"
Finn could hardly speak from the updraft, "w-w-worry...'bout him...latah!"
Jake nodded, "Alright, full speed!"
The dog pooted, sending the pair careening through the clouds, revealing-
"Woahhhhh-"
Jake gawked at the sight-
It was a floating city held up by some kinda magic, probably, with advanced-looking buildings and lights illuminating the night sky.
It was surrounded on all sides by moving contraptions, the likes of which the brothers could hardly imagine, like crazy-looking blimps but way more sleek...and completely made of metal.
Airships...far out, man.
Alarms were blaring, and the vehicles were flying across the city as chunks of ice impacted from above, shattering over buildings and causing untold devastation, but more of them seemed to be moving toward the center of town-
...
...
Toward the Lich.
...
On Atlas-
The ground trembled as people stampeded through the streets, the roadways alight with a sickly green light.
"-ake...up-"
Farmworld Finn groaned, feeling a hand against his shoulder, his eyes slowly opening to a blurred world, his fogged vision soon clearing, seeing a woman looking down at him-
Her hair was white...just like the frost.
He grabbed at his head, not feeling the crown's influence, "W-who are you? Where is my-"
Her blank stare lightened just a bit as she tapped along a strange device, raising it toward her mouth, "Specialist Schnee reporting in. One victim found near the site of impact. Repeat, victim is alive and in need of medical evacuation."
He looked about, seeing they were on a paved road of some kind, with a busted-up building behind them...did she drag him out of there?
She lowered the object, looking the teen over, "Are you alright?"
Farmworld Finn shook his head, "Where is it!?"
He tried to stand, only to wince, letting off a sharp cry.
The woman sighed, crouching down, "Stop moving. You'll only make it worse. Your leg is broken."
She awkwardly patted him on the arm, "My name is Winter Schnee. I'm with the Atlesian military. Let me get you help, and then-"
He brushed her aside, flipped over onto his stomach, and, to her surprise, started dragging himself back toward the structure, "Need to find it! Need to find it! Need to find IT!"
"Find what?"
Winter paused, realizing the boy must be in some kind of shock. Was his family still there?
She hadn't found anyone else.
Farmworld Finn forced himself inside a broken front door, frantically digging about the rubble with his bare hands, breaking his nails on the hard rocks as he threw them aside.
Winter sighed, grabbing him by the shoulder, "You're only making this worse! You need to-"
"RAH!"
*CRACK
Finn slapped her hand aside, the mere impact sending her crashing into a wall with far more force than a civilian could ever be capable of-
He looked at her sharpened teeth and madness in his gaze, as if his eyeballs were-
glazed over with ice-
Winter lurched forward, breaking free, landing in a crouch as she reached for her sword, "What are you?"
The boy looked away, going back to his digging, "NEED TO FIND IT! NEED TO FIND IT!...The secrets, do you know them?...I'll show them to you soon...soon-soon-soon."
...
...
*Crumble
The rocks gave way, and the boy giggled in glee as he pulled out an ancient-looking book bound in leather. With the flick of a finger, he popped open a hatch, pulling out a long red crystal before tossing the tome aside-
Beneath the book, there was a glimmer of yellow, and with a smile far too wide, the teen ripped something out of the earth-
The Schnee narrowed her blue eyes, "...A crown?"
Finn's smile grew wider, and the closer the object got, his skin turned more pale, his hair grew long and white, his nose became longer, and as he placed it upon his head and inserted the crystal into place-
His head hung low, "You saved me-"
A puff of cold air billowed from his hands as he rose from the ground, flying, an insane smile on his dirtied face, "...I shall return the favor to all."
*BWOOOOOSH
He swung an arm at the Schnee, sending an avalanche of snow and ice washing over the small structure like a tidal wave.
Winter stabbed her sword into the ground, materializing a massive clock-like glyph beneath the boy and his blast, slowing their momentum down to a crawl but almost buckled beneath the force of it all.
The Schnee could only leap away toward higher ground as her defense shattered, a wave of ice swept through the streets, and a snowstorm billowed across the skies of Atlas.
Ice-Finn rose, holding his hands out as the storm coalesced overhead, his attention drawn away by a distant glow of green-
The possessed teen shivered, "You...you-"
There was an explosive gale of wind, and Winter was forced to put a defensive glyph overhead as she struggled not to be blasted away-
Ice-Finn flew off across the city skyline, roaring as he went, "BETRAYOR!"
Winter could only watch him go in utter disbelief at the impossibility of it all.
She needed to contact General Ironwood immediately.
...
Across Town
Rooftops were a blur of movement as Huntsmen military personnel crashed over the streets of Atlas, running toward the source of chaos.
There were reports of something falling from the sky-
Was it some new kind of Grimm? A White Fang attack? Impossible, neither had reached the flying city in who knows how long-
They come to a stop, seeing a monstrous being with six arms and an exposed skull marching through the roadways, its mere stare freezing them in terror-
Gunshots rang out as bullheads circled overhead, a sea of green fire blazing below as their occupants rained hellfire on a massive figure-
"IS THAT A FUCKING GRIMM!?"
"I DON'T KNOW, JUST SHOOT IT!"
The Lich merely stood there, observing the strange aircraft as each stray shot ignited a different effect on his stolen flesh-
Fire-
Ice-
Some even weighing him down with the force of gravity?
No matter.
A pilot would watch as the Lich stayed motionless, but-
The very light itself began to flicker-
*Whir-Whir-Whir-Whirwhirwhir
*Blink
His eyes reopened, and it was gone-
The man looked everywhere across the ground-
But a looming shadow made him look up-
His eyes met a sea of green and a deformed visage unlike anything the world could hope to produce on its own-
This was no person-
No living being-
No Grimm-
It was certain death.
Ever-efficient, the Lich outstretched a single hand, and the bullhead dissolved in a blast of green flame, its remains crashing to the ground as ash.
There was only silence after-
Even when nearby Bullhead engines burned bright-
There was no sound-
Only-
The end.
The Lich exhaled a foul breath of blackened smog, flowing through the atmosphere and even breaching advanced air filtration units, dwindling aircrewmen to withered husks trapped in tombs of their own making.
The aircraft fell from the sky one by one, veering off in random directions before impacting against the surface of Atlas in fiery explosions, and as the ancient being fell-
*BWOOSH
A shadow appeared from above-
"Finn bomb!"
Jake swooped by, letting his brother fall as the human boy drew the Finn sword in his left as the grass sword burrowed out of his right palm, with both aimed right at the Lich's face-
Finn gave a war cry, "YADADADADADAAAA!"
*CRACK
Finn's blades went through the Lich's eye sockets and out the back of his skull as his feet impacted against the primordial's exposed chest, anchoring himself in place as he pushed with all his might-
The Lich howled in pain, laughing maniacally all the while, and this only made the human boy push harder, his grassy arm responding to his desires as he screamed with all his might-
*CR-CR-CRUNCH
With a furious scream, the grass sword broke through, slicing a chunk of the Lich's skull clean off, sending the right half of his face falling away-
For a brief moment, they fell, but the green fire remained focused on the young hero.
The Lich's extra arms reached out to wrap around the boy and crush him once and for all-
"...Futile."
Finn bristled, flipping his swords upside down in his grasp, slamming their sharp edges into the Lich's shoulders, and, using his strength, flipped over the evil being's skull in a handstand-
"Hey, Lich!"
The scholar could hardly look up before the teen's arm morphed into a hulking mass of vines and plantlife, "Try growing for once!"
*FWOOOOOOM
His arm exploded outward, grabbing the Lich by his neck and driving him straight down in a chokehold as both plummeted downward-
Finn's determined snarl soon faded as a yellow hand grasped his plant-like arm once more, and the Lich let out a fowl breath of darkness-
The teen screamed as his arm began to wither away, with the rot rapidly spreading along his limb-
Finn looked in every direction for a solution, soon focusing on his left.
He would whisper to himself, "It'll grow back."
The hero raised the Finn sword-
And swung.
*SCHWING
Half of his arm hit the ground hard with the Lich, while Finn crashed through a nearby roof, going straight through the shingles and into an attic.
Finn groaned, coughing up a storm, his clothes torn, every inch of him hurting, not even sure whose-
House this was?
He looked around, seeing broken picture frames with images of-
...
...
"Humans? Argh!"
The teen raised his limp stump of an arm, watching as the grass curse wriggled around, trying to regrow itself.
The hero wanted to know what was happening and where they were, but-
He suddenly gasped.
A premonition sent Finn to his feet, and the hero bolted across the wooden floorboards, grabbing his sword along the way, diving out a window, hitting the cobblestone streets in a roll as the building erupted in green flame.
It burned away in moments, and with the thud of heavy footsteps, the Lich approached.
He would raise a hand over the horizon of destruction-
"Rise."
The bullhead wreckage would shift, and the battered houses would give way as skeletal hands with burning meat emerged from the debris, some wearing military-style uniforms the teen had never seen, and others-
They just looked like normal people.
Finn backed away, turning around to run, parrying a sword strike from the side before cleaving the head of a resurrected soldier, kicking the body into an approaching horde before-
The headless body raised the weapon as a hole emerged from the base of the blade-
*BANG
Finn yelled as something small and hot slammed into his shoulder, burning right through his clothes and into his skin-
The hero could only turn and run, stumbling through the streets, struggling to dodge and weave his way through the growing hordes, finding himself in a town center of some kind, a circular place with a statue of some bearded man he didn't bother to read.
He looked out to the many pathways leading to this place, with rising hordes of the undead, with those same gleaming green eyes approaching him, and in the center-
The Lich marched toward him.
Finn took a breath, raising his sword with the only functional hand the teen had left, "...Always wanted to go out saving someone."
There really wasn't a way out of it this time, huh?
Might as well do it the way he lived.
He panted, taking deeper and deeper breaths as the hero charged ahead, "Bring it! Unleash the beeeeeast!"
Before the hero could make his last stand, there was a gust of wind, followed by an unholy chill as frost emerged from the East.
An insane voice howled, carried along by the breeze through supernatural means, "I fouuund you!"
There was a flash of motion, and a figure appeared, hovering over the Lich.
Ice-Finn cackled, raising his palms skyward, swirling them about as the clouds themselves flowed with him, growing faster and more violent, shaking the very island they were standing on.
"Ice-winds-"
His hands would aim downward toward the mob of the undead, "BLOW!"
The ground rumbled as a blanket of white emerged from every street, washing over the resurrected humans, burying and freezing them until the unholy fire that ignited them went cold.
It crashed into the Lich, focusing on the last scholar of Golb as it compacted and hardened into a massive cube of ice, freezing the entity solid in a transparent haze.
Finn watched as his counterpart hovered there as a light snow fell from overhead, and soon-
He sighed, lowering his blade, "Oh, thank Glob. You have no idea how glad I am to see that crown for once."
The hero ran up, clapping his hands, "Now come on! Help keep him buried until Jake gets here; then, we can end this!"
Ice-Finn stared at him for a moment, "...Why would I end him? I'm helping him, don't you see?"
"Hahaha...w-what?"
The hero shook his head, "No-no-no, you don't get it, man, this-"
He knuckled the ice.
*Ding-Ding
"Is the Lich! You can't save junked-up guys like this! He's evil!"
Ice-Finn smiled, "But...helping people...saving them...it's what I've always wanted...why-"
He cackled, his icy powers glowing in his hands, "Why shouldn't I save him and everyone else?"
Finn made a face, waving his hands, "Nah, dude! It's the crown talking! If you...-"
He snapped a finger, "What about your Jake!? Your dog!"
Ice-Finn paused, "...Jake?"
"Yeah, man! If you keep him frozen forever, you'll never get your best buddy back! Don't you wanna see him again?"
...
...
Farmworld Finn put a palm to his head, his features retracting to look a bit more normal, "See...see Jake...I want to...see Jake."
The hero smiled through the pain, giving his other self a reaffirming nod, "You will! Just keep him on ice for now! We've got a plan, alright!?"
Ice-Finn slowly nodded, "O-Okay...I'll...argh!"
He put a hand between his eyes, taking deep breaths, "My head...okay-okay. I'll tr-"
*CRACK-CRACK-CRACK
Icy-glyphs appeared beneath the duo's feet as crystals shot up from the ground, forming around them at a rapid pace as a figure landed beside them, brushing a layer of dust off of her decorative military coat.
Winter glared at the two, and then the beast encased in ice, her tone just as frigid, "I will give you one opportunity to explain this Grimm's presence on Atlesian soil, and you do not comply. You'll be punished to the fullest extent of the-"
Ice-Finn smiled, "You think you can control it?"
The ice around him visibly shifted, making the Schnee back away, "What!?"
He laughed, "The frigid tundras of north and south...they speak to me in the night, every bitter chill a reminder of their love...of the words not yet spoken-"
The casing around him exploded, swirling around the teen like a veil, and he soon outstretched a hand, "You are not worthy of it!"
A jagged spear of ice shot out toward the specialist.
Finn screamed, "DUDE, STOP!"
The weapon stopped mere inches from her heart, and the hero didn't have a moment to rest, shouting, "We've got bigger problems right now! That casing isn't gonna hold the Lich if we don't-!"
*Haaaaaaa
The primordial opened his mouth, letting out a spew of smog that ignited along the edge of the ice, burning his way out bit by bit.
Winter defensively raised her sword, her eyes meeting the Lich's, and the mere sight nearly made her recoil, "What sort of creature is that?"
Finn shook his head, "We don't have time for this, lady! So either help or go!"
The hero twisted his wrist and shattered the ice around him with the Finn sword, taking a step toward the Lich but stumbling, grabbing his shoulder in pain.
Ice-Finn floated over, "What's wrong?"
Finn took a breath, "Nothing, I'm fine. Pain is just hickeys from the universe, you know that, man."
The Schnee was at a loss, "What exactly is your plan of operation? Do you actually have a way to deal with that thing? Because from what I've seen-"
She pointed her sword at Ice-Finn, "You have a broken leg-"
Then at Finn, "And you've been shot and are missing an arm!"
The hero shrugged, "Who cares about the arm? It'll grow back! And shot by what!? I don't see no arrow or dart, do you!?"
"Shot by...grow back?...Are you from the Stone Ages!?"
"Look, my brother's gonna be here any minute with our ticket outa here! We just need to hold the Lich back until then!"
*CRACK-CRACK-BOOOM
The Lich broke free with a massive hand, smashing away the last vestiges of his cell.
The two Finns' shared a nod, and the heroic pair soon closed their eyes, opening them in sync.
Finn the Human had absolute faith that Jake would come through.
He always did.
The Hero of Ooo, raised his sword with his left, pointing it toward the Lich-
His mouth opened, and a trail of light blazed over his shining blue eyes-
...
...
Go.
The teenager flashed across the snowy battlefield, taking a running leap toward the entity, his blade colliding with the Lich's dark, extended nails, giving off sparks as he flipped overhead, landing behind-
Finn burst into motion, going for a slash across the creature's back, only to collide with one of his outstretched limbs, and as the Lich tried to turn and face him, there was a gust of chilled wind.
Ice-Finn crushed his hands together, pulling the surrounding atmosphere into a condensed ball of ice. He slammed a foot into the cold ground, sending waves of snow in every direction, and with the push of a hand, it launched, slamming into the Lich head-on, sending him careening back through Finn's sword, impaling the scholar clean through!
The Lich let off a guttural chuckle, his head unnaturally turning a full 180 degrees as his arms bent backward, slashing toward the hero before-
Finn blinked, shocked as he saw the Lich's speed crawl to a halt, looking down to see a spiraling clock beneath the monster's feet-
Winter would shout, getting his attention, "Move! I can't hold it for-"
*CRASH
The glyph shattered like glass beneath the scholar's might, but it gave Finn just enough time to take a running slide on his knees, drifting right between the Lich's legs as his attack landed where the human just stood-
As Finn slid between the Lich's legs, he landed in a crouch, and to his surprise, another clock appeared beneath his feet, but this time-
Everything around him slowed down.
He gave the snowy lady a nod and took off faster than he ever had before.
Before the hero could reach the Lich, there was a flash of blue light as dozens of bright spiraling glyphs appeared, and what looked like countless mutated birds emerged, flying toward the primordial as the small army let off war cries-
The swarm drew near, and the Lich-
Simply raised a hand, flicking a finger toward the operative-
"Turn on your Master."
Finn paled as the Nevermores' eyes burned a vibrant green, swirling about the Lich like a storm before letting off a screech, rushing toward the Huntress.
The hero of Ooo wasted no time, slamming his heels into the ground, the smell of burning rubber filling his nose as he rushed along the frost, jumping along the standing chunks of ice-like stairs, taking a running leap into the air, aiming toward the leader of the swarm-
Finn yelled as the summon screeched, his sword impaling through its back and using his sudden leverage to turn the giant bird aside, passing by the specialist as he shouted against the winds.
Bullheads circled overhead as cameras displayed the haunted display across the world of Remnant.
Across the battlefield, the Lich would raise a hand, flicking his wrist to the side, ordering the summons to crash into the surrounding buildings, the sudden force nearly knocking Finn off as he dodged his way through wood, metal, concrete, and rebar, running along the sides of buildings as he held on with a single hand-
The Lich's palm would ignite in green flame, and he would take aim at the hero.
Ice-Finn would growl in anger, his massive jagged teeth exposed. He would raise his arms high, pooling the ethereal blue frost in his hold, and with a roar, he would slam into the ground feet first, screaming as his broken leg buckled-
"ARGH! LIIIIIICH!"
His palms would shoot outward, and an icy blast that encompassed a city block would erupt from his hold, rushing toward the wicked being as he rounded about, shifting his aim to meet the teen's attack head on.
Green flame met icy oblivion.
A shockwave burst out in all directions as the two opposing forces met in the center, a massive explosion of magical power billowing into the atmosphere as neither relented.
Farmworld Finn would buckle, feeling himself getting pushed back as the primordial seemed to overwhelm him with ease-
It was then that the Lich raised every one of his six hands-
*BWOOOOOOOOSH
The world before the teen became nothing more than a haze of green.
Ice-Finn would buckle, struggling to keep his hands up as he stared at the face of his former best friend-
"...Jake."
...
...
His head would drop, and suddenly-
It would snap up as he screamed, his white hair growing longer, his skin shifting blue as his features morphed more and more by the second!
"I-"
Frozen tears ran from his eyes, "I TRUSTED YOU!"
His icy blast would grow in scale as storm clouds gathered overhead, sending down a rain of thunderous lightning, each strike impacting the Lich, searing his stolen flesh as the primordial howled in laughter-
Ice-Finn's laughs would join in the chorus.
...
...
Winter could only brace as a sudden burst of snow flooded through the streets toward her, only for a voice to call out from above, "Grab on!"
The Schnee wasted no time, leaping above the wave of debris, grabbing onto-
Vines?
Finn would pull her up, steering his makeshift ride over the battleground, his expression dropping as he looked over his other self, "Oh, no."
The operative aimed an array of icy glyphs, shooting frozen projectiles at her own trained summons, following the teen's stare with a single eye, "Is that boy your brother? How is he doing this? What's happening to him?"
"It's the crown! It's making him crazy...but-"
He looked back to the older woman with pain in his eyes, "Right now, he's our only chance."
...
...
Winter gave the teen a solemn nod, and soon, Finn had crashed the Nevermore into a nearby rooftop, putting the beast down once and for all-
They would watch the standoff with bated breath, and the hero would shake in rage, watching as his other self began to look more and more like the Ice King with every passing second.
Finn huffed in anger, "We just need to wait for Jake, and we can fix this. I know we can. We always do."
Winter wouldn't respond, typing away at her scroll, silently ordering every available piece of firepower to target their location.
Atlas could not be lost, regardless of the insanity of this situation.
There was a sudden snap as a new voice rang out, followed by a massive thud-
"Found it!"
Finn rounded about, a smile on his face, "Jake! You're back!"
"Yeah, man, I...Woah, your arm!"
"It's fine, it'll-"
Winter turned, her entire world freezing as she stared at-
As she stared at-
Jake stretched a hand across the roof in her face, "Cool hair."
"GAH!"
She slapped his hand aside, "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU!?"
Jake tilted his head, looking down at his yellow fur, "...Do you not like dogs?"
Finn jumped between the two, holding out his hands, "Not the time! Jake!"
The dog winced, "Don't gotta yell, dude! I'm right here!"
"HELP ME WITH THE MAID!"
"AHHHH! OKAY-OKAY!"
...
...
Farmworld Finn was nearing his limit, his transformation nearly at its maximum, but slowly, the Lich was gaining ground-
Resurrecting the occasional corpse-
Changing the nature of his own flames on the fly, forcing the teen to adapt-
It was a force of nature versus a user of one-
A losing battle from the start.
Ice-Finn would bow his head, feeling the toxic flames begin to lick at his skin-
"Goodbye, Jake...I'm...sorry I couldn't save you."
The Lich would smile, "There is no safety for you or anyone, child...only fleeting moments of false security, but like all things, they will end."
"Y...you lied to me-"
"Every lie is a truth in another walk of life, only made clear through the ceaseless wheel of time. While you are destined to repeat the same mistakes with each incarnation, I will persevere as I always have...but you have granted me a great opportunity, and for that...I thank you."
The primordial would reach through the blaze, the shadow of his hand looming over the teen, "Finn...I grant you death."
"FINN!"
A blue eye opened, watching as a shadow appeared from overhead, and a spark of life would glimmer over their cold surface-
"...Jake?"
The yellow dog launched himself off the roof as a slingshot, his entire body morphing, funneling more and more mass into his outstretched fist, and with a righteous roar, Jake surged through the Lich's flames, even as it burned through his flur-
His knuckles met solid bone.
*BOOOOOOOOOM
The Lich blasted back, his massive feet dragging through the cobblestone road as Jake's arm slinked back, loosening as his other did the same-
The magical dog snarled as his limbs flew like projectiles, slamming into the Lich's torso again and again as his blocky arms struggled to put up a defense, pushing him back bit by bit with each strike before pushing the primordial through the doors of a church.
Jake would raise his hands, expanding them to the size of wrecking-balls, bringing them down over the roof, sending the entire structure down on top of the Lich.
Ice-Finn would reach out a hand, but stumbled, nearly hitting the ground before an outstretched yellow arm caught him as Jake pulled them away-
"...Jake? Is it really-"
The dog shook his head, "Not yours, man...but I just couldn't let someone who sorta looked like my best buddy die...that's trauma that Jakey don't need... Oh, right."
His hand morphed into a megaphone, "Hey Finn! Take the shot!"
Over on the roof, Finn struggled to keep the massive weapon in place, but he wasn't alone-
The teen looked to the Schnee beside him, "Remember, what's your one true wish?"
Winter sighed, "...To protect Atlas...my home."
"Good enough!"
"Are you sure this will-"
"No doubties!"
The rubble began to shift and bend as the Lich outstretched its arms, blasting it all aside as he rose to his feet, but a pink glow drew his gaze-
Finn the human, and a reluctant Winter Schnee would shout-
"A MAN NEEDS A MAID!"
"A MAN NEEDS A MAID!"
"A MAN NEEDS A MAID!"
...
...
*DING
A chipper voice would say, "Housekeeping!"
*BWOOOOOOOOSH
There was a burst of pink light as it rocketed toward the Lich-
The last scholar of Golb would scream as he was condensed into nothing, his taint burning away from the timeline itself, becoming nothing more than darkness as a geyser of energy engulfed all of Atlas.
...
...
The light would fade, and reality would set back in.
Finn squinted, looking for any sign of the Lich, but where the monster once stood-"
"Ruff-Ruff!"
There was just a dog.
Jake let out a sigh of relief, stretching toward the ground as Ice-Finn stared at his beloved companion-
"J-Jake? Is that really-"
The non-stretchy dog happily barked, and the boy laughed, soon stumbling over his broken foot, so he simply froze the limb solid before hobbling over and picking up his beloved friend.
Back on the roof, Finn would drop onto his butt, looking up to the sky, "Oh, thank Glob. It's over."
...
...
Winter looked side to side before doing the same, "This may have been the most exhausting day of my life."
He shrugged, "Eh, you get used to it, and...hey!"
"Hm?"
"You're human!"
"I...I'm sorry?"
"Oh, man. I haven't seen other humans in so long! We've got so much to talk abo-"
*Bwip-Bwip-Bwip
Finn dissolved into colorful light, shooting up into the sky as Jake did the same, leaving Winter behind.
"...WHAT!?"
How would she even begin to report this?
...
...
Meanwhile, on the ground, Ice-Finn would smile, looking over this strange...kingdom of his as he pet his best friend-
"I love you-"
"...Gunter."
...
*Bwip-Bwip-Bwip
Finn and Jake blipped into existence in the familiar yellow confines of Prismo's room-
The human jumped, "What the wha! oof!"
He backed into someone, hearing a "Watch where you're going ya Björk!"
Finn turned, mumbling a "Oh, sorry. I didn't know anyone else was-woah!"
"Woah!"
There was another Finn staring at him, with both speaking in unison, "You're me!"
"I'm me!"
It was then they realized there were dozens upon dozens of them in the room, and a frustrated Prismo pinching between his forehead along the wall.
Finn backed away, "Jake, what's going on!? I'm freaking out!...Jake?"
The dog chuckled, "Heheh, awwww yeahhhhh!"
Finn turned to see Jake in a conga-line of Jakes going around the room, kicking out a leg with the drop of a beat, "Jakey-Jakey-JakeY!"
The pink deity groaned, "My boss is gonna kill me..."
Finn hummed, pushing through the crowd, going up to the wall, and patting what he thought was Prismo's arm, "Hey, big dude. What's wrong?"
Prismo shook his head, "You're like...the hundredth Finn that's asked me that."
"Jeez, dude. Is it really that serious?"
Prismo snapped a finger, materializing something round and squishy in Finn's hand, "You've got no idea, man. Have an egg."
The human didn't bat an eye and started munching on the hardboiled snack, "Word."
Seconds would pass before Prismo wished a pair of magic hands into existence, clapping so loud it knocked the Jakes out of their trance-
"We, uh...we glopped up, guys...we glopped up bad."
One of the Jake's laughed, "How bad?"
Another stuck stretched his butt into the air and wiggled it around, "Is this the right amount of bad? Higher or lower?"
The other Jakes and a few Finns laughed.
Prismo sighed-
The cheeks got closer, "Higher or lower?"
The deity snapped a finger, and the giant hands flashed over, slapping Jake's cheeks, making the dog yelp.
Prismo rolled his eye, "Look, I really need all your help fixing this. You guys are the Finns and Jakes who beat the Lich in whatever reality you dropped in on...I don't wanna talk about the other ones."
He pointed toward a screen, rewinding the farm world footage to right before the Finn of that reality fell into the interdimensional liquid-
"You see that?"
A few Jakes stretched closer until one raised a hand-
"Uhh...What are we supposed to be seeing?"
The screen zoomed in on the severed yellow hand of the Lich as Prismo spoke, "If I had real hands, I'd point at...Oh, wait-"
The giant floating hands pointed at the Lich's hand-
"There we go...nice. Anyways, the Lich's hand fell in before you guys and the real one did, and from what I've checked, none of you destroyed that one, soooo-"
One of the Finns kicked the ground, "He's still out there, isn't he?"
"He's always out there, you doof. That's like...the Lich's thing, but now there's an extra hand running around where it shouldn't. So, here's how it's gonna go-"
Prismo made an awkward face, "Yeah, this is gonna suck for you guys, but you falling into the portal and making a bunch of yourselves really gunked up my workload, and since the anti-me blockers are still up 'cause of the Lich...you're gonna go back to those realities you fell into."
A Jake nodded, "Ahuh."
"You're gonna track him down, and you're deal with those hands, but there's already a pair of you who landed in your home dimension, so...I'm gonna have to erase you once you do that-"
He rubbed his head, "You guys are really cool and whatever, but yeah...sorry."
The Finns' collectively dropped their heads, not putting up a fight, accepting the responsibility regardless of what would come-
But the Jakes?
"UNION!"
Prismo tilted his head, "What?"
The Jakes held up stretched-out signs, "UNION-UNION-UNION, WE DECLARE A JAKE UNION!"
A Finn tried to approach the crowd, "Come on, guys! This is serious!"
A Jake got in his face, "We know that Finn! But we gots demands!"
Prismo sighed, "...Well, technically-"
"Technically, what?"
"You guys are all technically different people from the Finn and Jake who made the original farm world and reverse wishes...so, we can work something out."
The Jakes huddled up, rapidly whispering-
Seconds ticked by as a leader emerged, "The Jake Union demands weekly Prismo-pickle benefits!"
Prismo clapped, "Done."
A fresh jar appeared in each of their hands, earning a cheer, "Here's to collective bargaining!"
"Bargaining! Bargaining! Bargaining!"
Prismo turned to the Finns, "Alright, what do you guys want?:
They didn't even need to huddle-
One raised his hand-
...
...
Later on Remnant
Finn and Jake rematerialized in the wilderness, surrounded on all sides by greenery and a distinct lack of civilization-
The hero looked around, hearing the birds chirp as the sun shone down from above. "What happened to that snow place?"
Jake munched on a pickle, shrugging, "Prismo musta dropped us off somewhere else. Why do ya ask?"
"Well, what about Ice-me? You saw him! He's gonna go coo-coo-banana-bonkers!"
"Oh yeah...sucks your wish didn't work on him, huh?"
Finn frowned, "Yeah...at least Prismo promised to fix him once we take down the Lich's spell."
"How would that work?"
"I dunno, man. He's Prismo! He just does stuff."
"Yeah, true. He does make some bomb pickles."
"I can't believe you wasted your wish on that."
"Hey, if Jake gon' get erased, Jake gon' eat these tasty pickles."
The dog crunched down on another piece of briny goodness, holding out the jar to his brother, "You can have one. I know how hard it musta been getting that dusty old book instead."
Finn huffed, sticking a finger in his mouth before holding the spit-covered appendage to the sky, turning to follow the wind, "It's not just a book, dude. You know that."
The hero reached into his pack, pulling out a familiar leather-bound tome, "Besides, the Enchiridion's like a walking cheat code. It can tell us all sorts of stuff about this place, like-"
Jake stretched a pickle toward Finn's mouth, and the hero chomped down, making the dog smile as he rubbed a hand on his head, "Alright, bruddah. Let's crack it open and get some of that knowledge!"
The hero shook his head, "Nah, man. We should probably set up some shelter first."
"Oh, yeah. No treehouse, huh?"
Finn blew a raspberry, "Lossst."
"Nah, man. We ain't lost. We're house shopping!"
The jar of pickles disappeared into Jake's skin as he stretched out, "Hop on! Let's check out the neighborhood!"
Finn chuckled, jumping on Jake's back, "Just like old times?"
The dog nodded, "I'm just hoping Marceline doesn't kick us out again. Old guys like me don't like change, man."
The brothers would wander the woods for some time-
They'd check out a cave, and Jake would get bit by a spider. His scream would wake up a bunch of bats and drive the pair out.
They wandered through an abandoned town and decided ghosts wouldn't be good neighbors.
They tried stretching into the clouds, but for some reason, you couldn't stand on them in this reality.
Finn sighed, leaning back as he looked up to the clouds, "I wonder what BMO's up to?"
Jake chuckled, "Probably doing something weird with your toothbrush again."
"You aren't still using that, right?"
"Is it the blue one?"
"Dude, it's the only one in that bathroom."
...
...
"Eugh..."
The brothers gagged.
Minutes later, Jake would hear a distinctive rumbling, coming over a hill to spot a railroad track, with a highspeed train blazing toward them in the distance, giving off a plume of smoke as it went-
"Hey, Finn. Remember that time I said I wanted to run away?"
The human hummed, "Bro, you said that last week when I asked you to take out the trash."
"Yeah...well, no time like the present!"
"W-Woah!"
Jake stretched out his arms, ripping a train cart door off its hinges, tossing it aside as he pulled himself and Finn in, tumbling into the metallic carriage as it sped off into the unknown.
The green trees would blaze by, and soon, Jake would glance toward his lifelong best friend, seeing a contemplative look on Finn's face, "Somethin' on your mind, brother?...The Lich still bothering you?"
Finn shook himself out of his stupor, rubbing the back of his hat-covered head, "Nah, man. I already shoved that one in the vault."
"That's not healthy."
"It's how I cope."
"I know-I know, but one day, we gotta start unpacking some of that stuff...so what's on your mind?"
"Doesn't it bother you? I mean, I know someone's gotta clean this flumped-up mess we made, but...we're never gonna see home again. No Neptr, no BMO, no Candy Kingdom. I even kinda miss Ice-King!"
"Nah."
"What about Lady and your kids!?"
"Well, sure, I'll miss 'em, but as long as there's a Jake there to keep an eye on things?-"
The dog leaned back, resting his head against his arms, "That's about as good as this can get. We just gotta enjoy the time we've got. There's no point stressing about what can't be undone, and besides-"
Jake patted the spot beside him, and as Finn laid down, he landed on his brother's outstretched arm as Jake pointed toward the dark roof above, "We've got a whole new place to check out, you and me, just like old times! You shouldn't go into new experiences all mucked up. You'll just stay mad when you should be having fun!"
Finn sighed, his smile returning, "Right. I'll give it a chance."
...
...
The Human shifted in place, "Hey, this...might be a weird ask, but-"
Jake tilted his head, "What?"
"Can you make your fingers skinny and dig something outa my shoulder? It's supes uncomfortable."
"Yeah, man."
The dog's fingers became worm-like and slithered through the teen's jacket and into the wound. Finn didn't so much as flinch as Jake pulled out something small and brass colored-"
The dog brought it closer, reading the words 'fire-dust' etched along the side, "Far out. How'd this happen?"
Finn shrugged, watching his reflection across the surface, "Back at that town, one of those zombs pointed something at me, and there was a big ol' bang, and next thing I knew, my shoulder hurt! The lady we talked to said I got shot, whatever that means."
"I didn't see no arrow."
"That's what I said!"
"Pretty cool to meet another human, though, right?"
Finn waved his hand, "Kinda. The whole 'Only human' thing's never really bothered me, you know? I've got peeps of all walks back in Ooo. Besides, I've always got you, bruddah."
Jake smiled, looking out over the passing greenery, "A-doy. I'm just sayin' it might do ya some good to meet some more humans that ain't like Susan. Maybe there's some your age out there!"
"What do normal humans talk about? Smoothies and stuff?"
"I dunno, probably boring junk."
"Lame...maybe we shoulda asked that lady before Prismo ported us back."
Jake paid it no mind, tossing the casing out the train as it splashed into a passing river, "Nah, she's probs crazy. I mean, who hates dogs!? I'm a dog, Finn, and she didn't offer one pet, not even a scratch!"
The human laughed, "You like it when randos pet you? That's weird, you're weird, man."
"I ain't weird! You're-RRR-COME HERE!"
The brothers wrestled in the train for a while.
...
Sometime later-
Jake was snoring, idly slapping a fly out of the air by extending his jowls.
Finn got up from his workouts, glancing out the open door, his blue eyes widening, "Holy-Jake! Wake up!"
The human jostled the dog up with a few kicks, making him groan, "Wha-what?"
"Look, man!"
The dog didn't bother sitting up, instead stretching his face toward the door, "Alright, what's so...Ohhhh-"
They were surrounded on all sides by-
Jake squinted, "It sure is red, 'round here...wanna check it out?"
Finn grinned, leaping out of the moving train, "Heck yeah! Let's gooooo!"
Jake casually stretched out his arms, catching the teen before he could slam into a tree or something, and before long, they were off.
Finn grabbed at a tree branch, "The leaves, the grass, heck, even the bugs are red in this biz!"
Jake snorted, "You're just happy 'cause you can see it."
The hero huffed, "I see just fine."
"Bein' colorblind ain't a big deal, Finn. You just gotta accept you've got faults."
"Green can be grey! Bubblegum said so!"
"You're in denial, man. She only said that so you'd stop asking her to test your weirdo eyes."
The human shook his head, mumbling, "Green can so be grey."
Jake's white eyes widened as he pointed a finger into the distance, "Woah! See that tree out there!?"
Finn squinted, looking into the distance, then straight up, and up, and up-
"Oh, Glob!...You thinkin' what I'm thinking?"
"That we make a business of lookin' for big trees!?"
"What? No, man. I was thinking we should build a new treehouse there."
"Oh, uh...that's cool, too...I guess."
"What's with the 'I guess?'"
"Nothin'...nothin'...well, all our treasures' back at the house, and now we're flat broke."
Finn patted Jake's back, "No big deal. We can just go get new treasure after building a house."
"Oh, yeah!...Think there's any good dungeons 'round here?"
Finn raised his fingers one by one, "Magical-looking red forest? Check. No people around? Check. We just gotta look, and we'll be right back in it, buddy."
Jake took off, running into the distance with a laugh, "Awesome."
The duo went to work, building up a new house with the finest junk Remnant had to offer, like wood, some cool rocks Jake found, and a bunch of metal they stripped from the tracks-
Finn asked if it was a bad idea, but Jake was all-
"Nah, it'll be fine...unless it isn't."
Hours went by, and finally-
*BOOM
The brothers fist-bumped in their new living room, and Finn gave an approving hum, "Mhm-Mhm. We got the tables!"
Jake waved around, "We got the chairs!"
"What else do houses have?"
They shared a look-
Finn yelled, "Some totes, comfy furniture!"
Jake yelled, "Food!"
The human stopped in his tracks, "Oh yeah...food...shoulda asked Prismo for more pickles."
Jake shook his head, "Nah-nah-nah. The rareness of the Prismo-pickle is part of the experience. It wouldn't taste the same if you had it all the time...well, maybe I could shrink down and make one last all day?"
...
...
The dog quickly grew bored of this, pointing a thumb out of their crooked kitchen window, "I think I saw some abandoned houses. Wanna go scavenge some stuff?"
Finn grumbled, "I dunno...someone might come back for that stuff and think we're thieves. It doesn't feel right."
The dog smiled, "We'll just leave a note saying where to find us if they do. Good neighbors loanin' some sugar...or beds or whatever."
"Oh, good call!"
"Hehehe! Let's go!"
Out the open window they went, and soon, the pair found themselves at an abandoned cluster of cottages near a flowing river, decrepit and utterly unused.
Finn scratched his head as he sat on a creaky front porch, "Wonder what coulda made peeps abandon a place like this?"
Jake shrugged as he dug through a kitchen, shoving entire cooking utensils into his growing stomach, "We find abandoned stuff all the time, bro. Heheheh, remember that chair we launched off Ice-King's mountain?"
"With those boom-boom sticks?"
"Mhmmm."
The hero chuckled, "Yeah, man. We got some sick air on that one."
Jake cracked open decades-old jars of spices, taking large sniffs with a giant nose before shoving them in with the rest of his possessions, "Didn't we almost make it to the Candy Kingdom?"
"Somethin' like that, but the gumball guardians thought we were an enemy or some junk and shot us down."
"Oh, right. Bouncing around as a ball after was pretty fun, though."
"It was pretty fu-"
*Grrrrr
The nearby treeline shifted as a darkened face emerged, its face covered in a white mask as it sniffed at the air, its beady red eyes honing in on the heroes-
Finn noticed it right away, and with a yawn, the teen hopped to his feet, "Hey, Jake. Wolves."
The dog chuckled, "Those are like dogs but dumb. You want some help?"
The hero drew the Finn sword, "Nah, I kinda wanna fight something...oh, hey, there's a lot of them!"
Jake shook his head as his brother ran into the fray with a laugh, disregarding the sheer size difference between Finn and the pack of monsters he was fighting.
One of the creatures charged to meet him, lunging forward as it tried to clamp its colossal jaws around his head.
Finn dove into a roll, the monster's teeth snapping shut where he was moments after, springing onto his feet as he slid, swinging his sword in a perfect arc, meeting flesh and bone, with his blade tearing right through the wolf's throat, sending a spray of dark liquid along the nearby cabins.
The hero laughed, jumping onto the falling wolf's broad shoulders before leaping off again, kicking another in the face, smashing through its face mask as he drove his sword through the top of its skull.
Jake hummed, watching Finn fight with the gracefulness their mom raised him to have, but something caught his attention-
The wolves were dissolving after they died.
Jake stretched out a finger to poke on, only for the body to break apart further, "Eugh. What even are these things?"
Finn let another monster dive at him, catching it beneath the chin with an uppercut sandwich, sending it crashing onto its back, and with a foot planted on its stomach, his sword went through its chest, "Monsters is monsters, Jake. Why you askin'?"
"Well, I was hoping we could eat one, but they're getting all gross and flaky...Jakey don't like flaky, Finn."
The teen thought about it for a moment, sidestepping a lunge as he held his sword horizontally in front of the wolf, letting it bisect itself on its own, "We could check the Enchiridion if you want."
The dog slammed a fist into his palm, "Awesome idea! Maybe it'll tell us the right way to cook these things!"
The hero deadpanned, "Whatever you say."
Jake got bored of watching him fight, so he stretched out a hand and finger-flicked the last one over the horizon, sending a plume of rising smoke in the distance.
Finn paid it no mind, walking into the house and taking a seat at the kitchen table as Jake shrunk down and hopped onto his shoulder, and so it was-
The hero opened his pack and pulled out the Enchiridion, dragging a hand along its awesome cover, and the boy would say, "I want to know more about the monsters up in this place."
He flipped a page, and Jake would zoom his entire face in, "...Chapter eight point five. 'How to slay Grimm-"
They shared a look, "Grimm?"
Finn turned a page, "'Part one: what is a Grimm? A Grimm, known for their dark skin, white-bone armor, and glowing red eyes, come in many shapes and sizes, but there are common features such as their collective origin in the Land of Darkness (see map of Remnant for further details). Otherwise called a being of destruction,' Grimm are unlike any other form of life, if one could even call their existence such a thing. While most lifeforms focus on survival, Grimm instead opt to annihilate and consume every living thing, tend to cluster into packs or hordes, and are attracted by feelings of negativity,' so, they're like fear feasters?"
Jake looked up at him, "Is that one still livin' in your guts?"
"Yeah. He's around there somewhere."
The dog laughed, "Gross."
The human turned a page as his stomach grumbled, reading ahead, "'Grimm don't play video games, nor do they try and talk things out. They kill, eat, and then do things all over again and are generally not pleasant to anyone. There is no other recourse when dealing with Grimm besides taking them out. They cannot be reasoned with and must be killed with extreme prejudice.'"
Finn shrugged, closing the book indifferently, "Sounds like the usual."
Jake reached for the Enchiridion, "Hey, lemme see that for a sec."
"Why?"
"I just wanna see it!"
The dog grabbed it and opened a page, rubbing his hands together, "Aw, yeah, baby. Now we're cooking!"
The human leaned over, reading the page, "'How to cook a bomb-meal for your buds on a budget.' Jake! We can't use the flipping Enchiridion for that!"
"Why not?"
"It's mega-mundo important!"
"So is eatin', and Jake is hungry!"
"Dude, no. We aren't gonna-"
"Oooo, look, Finn. It's got a recipe for meatloaf."
...
...
Jake leaned closer, "With extra ketchup."
The human buckled, slamming his head on the table at max force, "Alright!"
Jake shot a hand onto his shoulders, pulling him up, "Woah! No need to hit your face over it! That's your bread and butter, brother! Now, how about we take all this stuff home and I make us a nice dinner. How's that sound?"
Finn grinned, looking around at all the stuff Jake had piled up for them to borrow, "Pretty good...so...we makin' a few trips or-"
"Nope! GRAHHH!"
Jake morphed into a truck with legs, dumping a stove, a fridge, and basically the entire kitchen in the back, along with whatever other furniture and nonsense he could grab, and moments later, the front of the house exploded as the pair came running out back to their place.
...
Later that night-
Finn slammed his fork and knife over a wooden table, "Grub! Grub! Grub!"
Jake stretched an extra set of arms over from the kitchen, doing the same thing as he walked in, holding a big ol' tray of random-meat goodness.
The dog slid a huge piece onto his brother's plate, only to slap Finn's hand away, "Ah-ah-ah."
The human squinted, "What?"
"Wait for your garnish, bro!"
The hero sighed, slumping into his seat with a pout, "Mmmm, fine."
"You'll learn to appreciate it someday. Everything's better with a little decoration...remember the sweatpants talk?"
"When you said they're 'giving up on life' pants?"
Jake pointed a spatula at him, "Exactly. Anyone can dump some frumpy slop on your plate and call it a meal, but a true connoisseur knows that when things look good, they make you feel good, too!"
The dog waved at his legs, "I don't really gotta wear pants, but the same thing goes for people, too. If you're wearin' some lazy sweatpants, showin' off that trashy booty for the world to see, peeps ain't gonna put effort in anything. They'll just look at their raggedy ol' outfit and go, 'Whatever, I don't care.' Get what I mean, Finn?"
"Yeah, but who do I gotta look all decorative for anyway? It's just you and me, man."
Jake stretched over an elbow to bump him in the ribs, "You never know, bro. Might be a nice lady for you right around the corner~"
Finn lightly pushed him off with a frown, "No thanks. I'm still all messed up about Flame Princess."
"Aw, dude! You gotta get over that! I can't stand seeing you without that special someone! Are you for real gonna make me and lady go on double dates without our plus two?"
"Just ask someone else...Mister Cupcake probs gets lots of ladies."
"Oh! Mister Cupcake! No man!"
"Why not? He's cool."
"Yeah, well..."
The dog cringed, "I don't like Lady being near his muscles."
"Oooo, someone's jealous."
Jake grabbed a parsley leaf, crushing it to bits in his hand, dropping the flakes over the top of Finn's meatloaf, then his own, mumbling, "I'm so not jealous."
The dog sighed, hopping onto his seat and the brothers started to dig in.
Finn took a bite, falling into bliss the second it hit his taste buds, "Dang, dude! This meatloaf destroys!"
"Well, duh. The Enchiridion don't lie, Finn."
"The book's only part of it, Jake. You're just a great cook-"
Finn smiled, lightly punching him in the shoulder, "And a good brother."
Jake grinned, "Well, if I'm such a good brother, maybe you should listen to what I've got to say!"
The human cringed, rubbing his arm, "I don't know, man."
"Look, I'm not asking for a lot. I'm just saying...ya know, if you meet someone nice, and you like 'em, then go for it, dude! You can't live your whole life feeling bad over a mistake!"
"It was a big mistake, Jake."
The dog took a huge bite of meatloaf, pointing his fork at Finn's heart, then out the window, "Yeah, and you learned from it. Do you know what that awful feeling in your chest is whenever you think about it? That's your heart sayin' you won't do it again. You ain't getting FP back, but there's plenty of chances right out there, just waitin' for a cool guy like you to swoop 'em up!"
Finn grumbled, "I'll...think about it, alright?"
Jake shook his head, "It's not a burden, man. I just want you to be happy, and you ain't the kinda guy that goes it alone, Finn. Don't pressure yourself to find someone, I'm just sayin', if it happens, don't make it not happen, you feel? Someone might come crashing into your life before you know it, then the heart goes on with bumps and pumps-bumps and p-"
*CRASH
There was a screech of metal in the distance as they watched sparks billow into the air, followed by a colossal blast as a train derailed, sending its carts tumbling through the tree line.
Was that the part of the track Jake was messing with earlier?
...
...
Oh, Glob.
...
At the same time
A pair of yellow eyes stared up at the cloudy night sky, with twinkling bursts of starlight slowly fading away amidst a sea of smog rising around her.
There was fire everywhere.
She coughed, trying to move...to crawl...to do anything, but a metallic screech caught her attention, and it was only then that she realized a fallen piece of a cart had pinned her down-
Her legs were stuck-
She couldn't move.
But where was-
"Blaaaaaake-"
*CRRRRRRRR
A metal slab ignited in red slashes, exploding out as molten slag, a figure emerging from the makeshift doorway, limping along as his blue eye gleamed from beneath his shattered face mask.
The Faunus stayed silent, but he kept talking, "Do you know what they do to traitors?"
Adam laughed, "How could you not? You helped me deal with so many, and now...you're trying to leave? After everything we-"
The bull-Faunus coughed, swiping a hand through the smoke, "They'll gut you for this...slice you open, dangle you from the rafters on Manegerie...right up there with your mother and father...but hey-"
Blake gasped, soon sputtering into a coughing mess, drawing the teen's attention. Their eyes would meet-
Adam would smile, "We're friends...aren't we?"
She tried to push herself away, "You don't want to do this-"
"No...I think I do...See-"
He rapidly approached, coming to a stop, holding his blade just above her throat as it reflected her terrified expression, "You can bite...you can kick and scream all you want...but I value what we had...I don't want them to hurt you, Blake-"
"Then...let me go! Please!"
"I can't do that. It'll set a bad example-"
His fingers crested her chin, "You know that."
Adam sighed as she flinched away, "...I'll report that you were killed in action. You'll be martyred, and your parents will get a nice little trophy instead of a death sentence...I don't expect a traitor like you to understand, but-"
He leaned in, feeling his sword digging into her flesh as the cat-Faunus struggled to breathe, "The White Fang has standards...and you...haven't lived up to the-"
"Hey, Finn."
"Yeah?"
Two unknown voices echoed out from the other side of the fallen train-
"Do ya think this is 'cause I used some of the tracks for our digs earlier?"
"Yeah, probably."
"Eugh...well, I hope nobody got hurt. Hang on, lemme just-"
Adam raised a brow, hearing a stretching sound before a shadow appeared above, and that voice was now mere feet away, "Hey, are you guys alri...wait, what's goin' on here?"
It was almost unfathomable-
There was a giant yellow head above them-
A dog's head-
It was talking-
Jake poked a finger into Adam's chest, "Hey! Are you hitting ladies!"
The dog fully stretched over, standing a full two heads shorter than the bull Faunus, but that didn't deter him.
Adam held a hand to his head, wondering if he had taken the fall harder than he thought, "What are-"
There was another shadow overhead, and Adam looked up to see the dog's giant butt come slamming down, burying him into the ground, "WOMP!"
The cheeks would rise, and Adam would gasp in pain before they fell again, making the double-circle crater that much larger-
"WOMP! WOMP! WOMP! WOMP! WOMP! WOMP!"
Jake would quickly turn around, wrapping his arms around the terrorist like a snare, holding him in the air, his face stretching until it was right in front of the teen's, screaming, "DON'T HIT LADIES!"
"WOMP!"
Adam sailed off over the horizon with a scream, disappearing across the tree line.
The dog would kneel down, poking the dark-haired girl on her forehead, "You alright, lady?"
Blake stared at him-
Her eyes went white, and foam came out of her mouth-
The poor girl passed out from shock.
"Uhhhhh...is that a yeah?"
The train creaked as Finn climbed over the top, hopping down with a sigh, "Aw man, you already beat the guy up? I wanted some."
Jake patted his arm, "Sorry, dude. I just don't like seein' guys hurting ladies. It ain't right, man."
"You're a good role model, Jake."
The dog smiled, "Thanks, Finn. Here, help me with this-"
The human shook his head, kneeling down and grabbing the metal bars wrapped around the girl's legs, "Nah, I got it."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, man. Just watch!"
Finn did a squat to end all squats and lifted the chunk of metal with ease, chucking it to the side as it toppled a train cart on its side.
He looked down at the poor girl with a frown, "She looks messed up, dude...we should prob get her some help."
Jake squinted, "Help from who? It's just us out here."
"Dang...maybe we shoulda beaten that guy up until he told us where a hospital was in this biz-"
Finn shrugged, "Eh, whatever. Wanna play doctor?"
Jake nodded but poked a finger in his chest, "Alright, but no surgery...you messed Neptr up bad last time you did that...poor guy was throwin' pie wrong for a week."
"Yeah, but kicking him real hard fixed it!"
"No, Bubblegum fixed him! You just busted his treads!"
"Dude, I was, like, thirteen!"
"And you're still a big baby to me! My baby brother! And big brothers, give big advice, ya hear?"
Jake pointed at the pale Faunus below, "Now go get that girly some hot chicken soup! On the double, mister!"
Pffft-
The brothers fell into chuckles, but Jake soon dulled, "Seriously, we should probably get her outa the smoke before she dies."
Finn's eyes went wide before leaning down, scooping the girl up, chucking her over his shoulder, and taking off running into the woods and back the way they came.
Jake shook his head, "You don't carry ladies like that, dude."
...
Anyway, that's all I got.
This concept has been stuck in my head for two months, and I wanted to make it stop, lol.
Take it easy; cheers.
