Trip scrubbed at the ship's inner workings, his strokes rough and uneven. This was one thing you couldn't get wrong, or not wrong enough to matter. It was something that let you take what was dirty about life and make it all disappear. It almost felt like washing away bad history, or old mistakes. It was the kind of job even an idiot couldn't screw up, which was the best he felt about himself right about now.

"You don't have anyone else to do that?" Malcolm asked, climbing up with him.

Trip didn't quite look at him. "I wouldn't say cleaning manifolds is the highlight of the day, but it gives you time to think."

"Here." Malcolm nudged him aside and took up the work, his precise movements making better progress than Trip had done.

Trip sat back beside him to rest, sighing as his shoulders slumped and his face turned up to stare at nothing.

"A lot on your mind?" Malcolm prompted.

Trip had crawled up here to keep away from everyone else. Malcolm likely knew as much, and had come anyway. "You ever been so sure you were doing the right thing?" Trip asked the grey bulkhead across from them.

Malcolm tilted his head to show he was listening, but said nothing. It wasn't the kind of question you answered. The silence sat between them for a few minutes.

"What could bring somebody to do a thing like that? To take their own life?" Trip didn't bother explaining who he meant. Word had gotten around. "And I don't need another person telling me this wouldn't of happened if I'd minded my own business."

Malcolm halted a moment in his scrubbing, his hand clenching tight around the tool, his gaze locked on a bit of plasma scouring. There'd been a mine not too long ago, pinning him to a segment of hull plating they would have to detach to save the ship, leaving him alone and adrift. No matter what was to happen to him, better it be his own decision than something done to him. For a second he felt the rush of air past his face as the oxygen pumped out of his suit. He tucked it away again. It was too personal. It would hardly help the Commander to know that sort of thing now.

"I suppose there are some things a person would rather not live through." He said, getting back to scrubbing, his hands as steady as if he were handling a bomb.

"There was nothing to make them behave the way they did." Trip burst out. "They're smart people. The cogenitor learned all kinds of things inside of a few hours, and the neural scans show the rest of them are just as smart as she was. You know what that means. What that means is, they probably knew all along she was equal to them, they just didn't want to admit because it weren't convenient."

Malcolm thought it was possible nobody besides Commander Tucker had ever bothered to check, but it didn't feel like a helpful point at the moment.

"They didn't get to have a baby. That's too bad. But they weren't upset any over the fact that somebody who depended on them died. Hell, maybe they still could've had children. Charles might of agreed to it if they treated her with a little respect now and again. For all we know, she might have wanted to be a parent. Nobody bothered to ask." Trip faltered to a stop as his own words sunk claws into his chest. He'd played his part in taking that away from her, no matter what his intentions. He'd only been trying to give her something, to let her share some truths about herself she probably knew all along, if only she'd been given the words to express herself.

He'd just been trying to help. Instead, he'd led to this, and the only thing he could think for it was shut himself away on job typically assigned as punishment. Even now he was dragging other people into his trouble. Malcolm hadn't even had anything to do with it, but he was here doing the work for him anyway. Just trying to help. Neither of them looked at each other, staring at what was arguably the cleanest manifold on the ship. Neither of them moved from where they sat.

If they weren't all so concerned about making a good impression with the Vissians, they wouldn't have sent Charles back to them, and she wouldn't of had any reason to worry about what she could or couldn't endure.

"I don't see why anyone would want to be friends with someone who treats people like that in the first place." Trip said, his voice turning faint.

"I'm sorry, Commander. I don't have an answer."

Trip sighed. "I'm sorry too."