April 27th, 2367/Stardate 44318.6 - Unidentified Vessel tentatively IDed as 'USG ISHIMURA'
In big, illuminated letters, the name of the ship was put above the receiving port.
"Wonder what the 'USG' means." Chris asked before Ron gave her a look to be silent, treating this not as exploration, but a boarding action on hostile ground.
Then a monitor above activated.
"Welcome CEC employee, to the USG Ishimura!" said a cheerful woman's voice, reminding them of some corny advertizer while displaying parts of the ship's career. "The Ishimura was the first Planet Cracker-class vessel and is now the oldest serving, with sixty-two years of continuous service. It holds the record for highest number of planet cracks, with thirty-four to date and highest dead weight of refined product at fourteen trillion kilotons and counting. Whether you'll be joining us aboard the Ishimura or strengthening the extraction work force on the colony, the captain and crew would like to welcome you and we hope your stay is a pleasant one. Concordance Extraction Corporation: Powering Humanity into the Future!"
"I ever mention I REALLY hate cheery commercials?" Ron snarked. "No sense being stealthy NOW. Fucking ship just gave us away."
"And I've never heard of anything like what they talked about so… pretty sure this thing came from another universe," Takeshi mentioned. "Think this is the fault of that 'Q' guy who gives Enterprise so much trouble?"
"Unlikely. Q is more of a trickster teacher type. Very rarely is he outright hostile." Ron said, giving them some insight on the being. "Eyes up, ears open. Set those rifles to stun: right now, we're on investigation, not assault."
"You know, captain, you have a reputation for being… well… the type to just kill everything in sight." Chris said.
"What you failed to mention is that I don't start the fights, I end them." the captain retorted as they approached what looked like a flight check-in, like a spaceport terminal.
"Fair enough," Takeshi admitted. That did seem the captain's style - perfectly friendly until someone tried to kill him.
…Which was pretty much EVERYTHING…
The door had a glowing blue hologram, reading 'Open?', before a visible scan read over them.
"Error. Employee not found." said the ship's computer.
"Lady, you either open this door or I root canal your ass until you worship me as your FUCKING GOD." Ron snapped back.
"I don't think it's sentient, sir." Chris said dumbly.
"I don't care, IT WILL OBEY OR IT WILL SUFFER." Ron retorted, making Takeshi snort and laugh.
"Employee not found."
"Ok, bitch, time for you to learn who is god here." the captain retorted. "Keep watch while I work my magic."
The pair nodded, using their phasers to cover the area as Ron approached the door with tubules extending from his knuckles.
Borg technology. They'd heard of it, they knew he was a former drone, but never seen it, before they interfaced with a computer port, the captain grinning.
"Error. Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooor-" then the door opened. "Welcome aboard, Captain Pinkerton and Cadets. CEC shareholder privileges granted. Enjoy your stay on board USG Ishimura."
"Bow to your god, bitch." Ron said in return before they saw the inside of the lounge, COVERED in blood, making him STARE in disgust and shock. "What in the name of Izanagi and Izanami is this shit."
"I… I wish I knew," Takeshi replied. "Some kind of… of massacre happened here, that much is clear. What's going on with this ship?!"
They then heard thumping in the vents. "I think we're about to find out." Chris said before Ron pushed them away, just as a massive blade shot out from the vent they were standing under, the captain then grabbing it. "FIGHT ME, FUCKER!"
A warbled, guttural scream came back in reply, before it RAN AWAY, losing the blade in the process. "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!"
Chris looked at the blade. "What the hell is this?" she asked, picking up the discarded object. "It looks like bone."
"Scan it. Tell me the results. This is an educational trip." Ron said before poking his head into the vents. "HELLO FRIEND!"
Chris scanned the blade, Takeshi covering her as Ron climbed into the vents. There was much banging, screaming and cackling, the latter mostly from Ron as he attacked whatever was in there, even as whatever it was tried to escape.
"If there was ever a case of horrifying the horror, there it is." Takeshi muttered as blood dripped from the vents, before one exploded, a nearly humanoid figure with blades in its palms and literal mini arms in its' guts emerging before getting dragged back in, fighting back against whatever grabbed it, kicking and screaming against its' horrifying opponent.
"He scares me." Chris said before Ron emerged, smiling and covered in gore.
"So, what's up with the thing?" he asked.
"Well, from what I can tell, it's horribly mutated, but… there's some human DNA in there somewhere," Chris informed.
"Bullshit," Takeshi replied. "There is no way that… that THING was once a human."
"I've been around the block a few times, Cadet: I've seen things that used to be human, but were transformed into monsters that don't even have a remote resemblance to our species." the captain replied before the body in the vent… twitched. "I removed two thirds of your body mass, cockbite. Is there a REASON you won't die?"
"Sir… I think they're already dead." Chris said. "They're… zombies."
Then came the most evil, sadistic and bloodthirsty cackle they'd EVER heard, making the two cadets want to RUN. And he was on THEIR side.
"That explains EVERYTHING." he said. "The undead FEAR ME. SUFFER NOT THE UNDEAD TO LIVE! PURGE THE UNCLEAN AND THE UNNATURAL!"
Takeshi and Chris suddenly find themselves holding each other. As their captain started marching out into the rest of the ship, they kept holding each other.
The undead knew SOMETHING was on this ship now. Something that would stop at nothing until they were purged and convergence was stopped.
And it would succeed. They had already fought it. And it ENJOYED fighting them.
"HELLO, MY PRETTIES!" cried the anathema. "TIME TO DIE!"
They knew they weren't going to survive with just these uniforms, but the captain locked down the shuttle.
"Look at this." Chris said as she gestured to a kiosk near the tram station. "Looks like we can access something called 'RIGs' in here. Better than these uniforms, right?"
"I suppose," Takeshi mused. "Question is if they'll work with the PSGs. But still, any extra protection is a good thing."
She poked the hologram, opening the store and revealing an alcove to stand in. She shrugged and stepped inside.
Then it shut. "HEY! What the hell are you-WHOA! DON'T! HEY! OH THAT'S JUST-"
Takeshi watched before the alcove opened and Chris stormed out, wearing what looked like a suit with leather patches, some armored plates and a helmet.
"...Your turn." she said before resetting the machine.
Takeshi made to ask, but could feel Chris' glare, so he just poked it and opened the alcove again, stepping inside before it shut.
"HEY! Don't touch me th-OH THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE! GAH! NO!"
Then it opened, with him in the same suit.
"...Mistakes were made." he said.
Challus Mercer looked through the monitors to find that engineer fixing all the things, then some lunatic that the necromorphs ran away from. That was new. And confusing.
This…was not good.
"It appears, Mr Harris, your hunt begins." he said before opening the containment cell, unleashing the Hunter from his slumber.
Takeshi Yamato: …Ooooookaaay, then…
Ron the True Fan: I am very disappointed, Take, that you never watched The Evil Dead. Specifically, Army of Darkness. The term is horror/comedy for a damn good reason. Obviously, the necromorphs are no match for the ex-drone with a grudge against the undead. So why not go full-bore into making this as funny as possible?
Takeshi Yamato: Fair enough. I suppose I'll be playing the straight man, both in-story and IRL.
Ron the True Fan: You will laugh. It's inevitable. It's kinda what I do.
Ja Ne!
