Walking around the gardens, Victoria kept her coat buttoned up. She'd woken up early that morning and everyone was still sleeping. It had just gone six, but she'd been wide awake. She'd laid on her side and watched her husband sleeping, his mouth slightly parted and eyes tightly closed. She'd studied his face and felt a range of emotions. She felt sorrow for the man he could've been if Vought had raised him right. She felt anger that he'd hurt so many people and was still living life as if he was untouchable. She hated herself even more for looking at him and longing for the man she thought he was when they'd first met. She knew he was keeping something from her. She knew he was a good liar. He claimed that it was just the two of them together, but she knew that was rubbish. He told her what she wanted to hear and that was it. He kept her in the dark the rest of the time.

She'd dressed quietly so that she didn't disturb him. She pulled her skirt onto her legs and shimmied into her tights before grabbing a long, woollen green jumper and her green winter coat. She'd tugged her sneakers on in the hallway and then moved outside after checking that Evelyn and Ryan were still sleeping soundly in the same room together. She headed to the gardens and moved off the beaten path and into the woods, wandering on the dried mud and over tree trunks and through crisp leaves.

As she moved, she felt her phone begin to vibrate in her pocket before she came to a small maze. Looking at the caller ID, she accepted it and pressed the phone to her ear before moving into the maze, the ferns all brown and dying slowly. The ground was uneven and Victoria moved to the side on the entrance to avoid a puddle in the mud.

"You there?" the gruff voice on the other end of the line asked.

"I'm here," Victoria assured him.

"I didn't know if you'd pick up."

"I wasn't sure if I would either," Victoria admitted and moved left at a crossroad. "I know we didn't end things on good terms."

"I guess you were pissed off with me," Billy said. "I…I know that we have different opinions of what should be done, but you need to know that I'm always looking out for you. I'm always looking out for you because I didn't when you were a kid. I fucked up back then and I don't want to fuck up now…but you know that I don't have long left, Vic…this thing inside of me…I think it's fucking me up more than I thought it would."

"What do you mean?" Victoria asked her brother and their argument was completely forgotten as she thought about his health. Nothing really mattered when it came to the fact that she might lose her brother sooner than she was ready to. She didn't want to lose him, but she knew that there was no cure for what he had. "Billy, if you're not feeling well then you should go to the ER."

"Nothing they can do for me, love," Billy replied. "Anyway, that's not why I phoned. I'm doing alright, okay?"

"I smell bullshit," Victoria retorted quickly.

Billy chuckled. "Yeah, you're good at that," Billy confessed to her. "Either way, I'm not going to sit her and bitch about my health like some ninety-year-old on oxygen. So I don't want to hear it, alright? I don't want to talk about it. I called to see how you were after yesterday…they had no fucking right to make you talk about it."

Victoria exhaled a sharp breath as she realised she'd come to a dead end. The air was crisp and she wished she'd brought her gloves with her considering her fingers were turning numb. As she spoke, her breath came out in small clouds in front of her. She turned to move back the other way.

"I know they didn't, but I guess a part of me is amazed that it took them five years to find out about our childhood," Victoria said to her brother. "It was more the rumours that were spreading that I didn't want getting out of control. I could've said nothing, but I don't know if that would've done any good. I just…I wanted to tell my side of the story and be done with it."

"Yeah, and I get it, sis, but it's not over," Billy said to his sister. "Have you even seen the coverage this morning? Fuck me, you're polling higher than Homelander. Everyone out here is calling for you to be Time person of the year."

"Stop taking the piss," Victoria said with a roll of her eyes and took a right, jumping over a fallen tree branch.

"I'm not," Billy said to his sister. "I'm serious, Victoria. Everyone is gushing over you…overcoming what you did…working for the UN…advocating change…and then there's a photo of you with this kid at the Vought wankathon."

Victoria chuckled. "I imagine you're talking about the V-52 Expo? Yeah, I spoke to this little girl, Daisy. She said she wanted to be a lawyer and help people. It was really cute. Every time we go to these things it's Homelander the kids want to be like."

"Don't know what they're saying, dumb little shits," Billy said and Victoria laughed again. She shook her head and pushed her free hand into her pocket. "But I'm serious, Vic. There's profile pieces on you and the work you did at the UN. Vanity Fair are calling for you to be part of Singer's government as some kind of special envoy."

Victoria's eyes widened. Shaking her head, she found the middle of the maze and sank down onto the bench in the middle underneath an ornate stone gazebo with metal railings. "You're joking?" she said to her brother.

"I'm not joking," he said to her. "You don't get it, do you? People look up to you. People find you inspirational. You've caused waves, Vic. You're not just that blonde prick's eye candy. You're your own person…you might not have his strength…but there's power in popularity and you know it."

"Jeez," Victoria mumbled. She exhaled a shaky breath before she crossed her legs and pushed her hair behind her ear. "I mean, I don't entirely get it and I don't like it. I don't want the media attention. I don't want people talking about me…besides, how can people think I'm inspirational after how I've behaved? How I've stood by Homelander's side after everything they know he did?"

"Because people are fickle," Billy said. "Either way, you need to know that your popularity shot up. Bet that's pissed that wanker off."

"I don't think he knows," Victoria said. "If he does then he hasn't said anything. Then again, I imagine there's a lot that he's not telling me. Do you know any of it?"

"Depends what you're talking about," Billy said and she heard him slurp his mug of tea. "You know I keep things from you for your own good. If I tell you things…I don't want you to have to keep them from him. It makes your life more difficult than it needs to be. I'm not keeping you in the dark to be cruel."

"I know," Victoria said. "I just…he says things and I want to believe him, but I don't. I can't believe him because I know who he is and I know how he thinks and what he thinks. Everything he's done to try and bring Annie down makes me feel queasy. He says that he had no idea about leaking the information about her abortion."

"And do you believe him?"

"I'd be stupid to believe him, wouldn't I?" Victoria checked with her brother, finger running along the side of the stone bench she sat on. Billy scoffed at that.

"You'd be a fool," he confirmed for her. "But you do, don't you? Vic, don't tell me he's suckering you back in. You need to be careful. You need to know who it is you're dealing with. This guy is a premium asshole."

Victoria was quiet then and she bowed her head. "I know that," she assured her brother. "Trust me, I know who he is and what he's done. I'll never forget it. I just…I don't see an out and things between us are good. So long as they stay good then the kids are safe. I can keep an eye over them."

"Is that all it is?" Billy demanded from her.

"Let's not get into this," Victoria pleaded with him. "I don't want to talk about how I feel and I know how fucked up I am. I get it, Billy. The things he does…says…I'm trying to make things better. I'm trying to make him see that he doesn't need power or control, but I don't think it's working."

"You think you have sway over him? Fuck me, Vicky, the guy's a narcissist."

"He tells me that he values my opinion. He tells me that nothing else matters except us and I want to believe him. If that's true then he gives up this plan he has on trying to make the world a safer place for Ryan and Evie. And I get it, Billy. I want the world to be a safer place for them too, but that means co-existence between supes and humans…not one side trying to decimate the other," Victoria said and Billy went silent then. She heard him cough and she rolled her eyes. "I know what you think."

"You've known my thoughts on supes all along."

"And what does this bloodlust of yours achieve?" Victoria asked. "All we've known is violence. We grew up around it. We know that it achieves nothing. It just ruins lives…I just…we've been fighting for so long that I don't think that's what we should do anymore. It's gotten us nowhere."

"You know your husband won't stop, right?" Billy checked with her. "You know he's never going to stop until supes are in power and have control. No matter what you say to him…promise him…no matter if you share his bed…that's never going to change."

"And deep down I know that," Victoria said, "but I can't stop trying, Billy. I'm stuck here so I may as well try and make a change for the better, even if it is futile…because I know something is going on. I know he's plotting something that he's keeping from me."

"You don't know what it is?"

"Do you?" Victoria retorted.

Billy was quiet again. He considered telling her what he knew so far. He could tell her that M.M. had somehow made A-Train turn their informant. He could tell her that Homelander had been involved in the three men who had been killed and how he'd made sure Starlighters had been framed for their deaths. He knew that there was so much he had to tell her, but there was the chance that if she knew then she'd confront him and then what? They'd fight. She'd put A-Train in danger by knowing. It was too risky.

"I just know that him and Neuman seem to make an interesting team," Billy settled on saying to her. "I think they want her to influence Singer to move away from his anti-supe platform. Usually, I'm not a guy who likes politicians, but I can get behind that movement no problem."

"Well, if you find anything out, will you tell me?"

"I'll tell you what you need to know."

"That's not the same thing," Victoria replied.

"It's as good as you're going to get," Billy promised her. "Listen, I've got to go. I've got things I've got to be cracking on with."

"Yeah," Victoria weakly agreed, "and I'll come and see you soon, okay? When I'm back…Joh…Homelander insisted on taking us away for the weekend after the interview. I think he thinks I needed space."

"You do, but what the prick doesn't get is that means space from him," Billy said. "And I'll call you, alright? I've just got some errands I need to run before I'm back in the city too."

Victoria's brow furrowed. "What errands?"

"None of your bloody business," Billy said, "but I'm fine so don't worry about me, alright? I'll call you soon."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Alright," Victoria said, guessing that was as good as she was getting. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Vic."

"Bye, Billy."

Hanging up, Victoria placed her phone back into her pocket and shut her eyes. She enjoyed the feeling of the cool air on her cheeks and the peace and quiet. She could hear the leaves rustle in the breeze, but that was about all. It felt nice and she wasn't sure of the last time she'd been able to have a quiet moment to herself. Her mind, on the other hand, was running wild. She wasn't entirely sure what Homelander was planning, but she knew that it would be bad. She just couldn't figure out how bad. She knew what he'd done in the past and she found him abhorrent. His behaviour was disgusting and the fact was that he got away with all of it. No matter how terrible his childhood was, that didn't give him the right to treat people how he did and act how he did.

Victoria could feel everything inside of her conflicted over him. She knew that if there was no escaping him then she had to play nice. She had to be sweet. She had to protect Ryan and Evie. She just hated how he made it so easy for her to play nice. He made it feel like the easiest thing in the world because he acted like her husband and not Homelander. He acted exactly how she'd always imagined he would and she'd never had that. She'd never had anyone look after her and love her like he did.

"You look lost in your own thoughts."

Her eyes opened and she saw him moving from the hedges and into the middle clearing. Victoria forced a smile to her face and just shrugged her shoulders. "I couldn't sleep in," she said. "I kept thinking of stuff."

"Stuff?" he questioned, sauntering towards her with his hands behind his back.

"Yesterday," she lied to him. She didn't want to tell him that all she could think about was what he was plotting. "It was a lot and it exhausted me, but I keep thinking about what I said…now it's all out in the public…and then Billy called me."

"William? And what did he want?" Homelander questioned and he sat down next to her.

"He saw the interview and just wanted to make sure I was alright," Victoria said.

"Nothing else?" Homelander pushed her and she looked at him questioningly. He continued to stare at her and she noted how his eyes flickered over her face like he was trying to deduce if she was lying to him. She shook her head and exhaled a sharp breath, tossing her fingers through her hair.

"What are you accusing me of hiding?"

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he defended himself.

"Really? Because your tone suggests differently and I imagine you're listening to my heart rate to determine if I am lying to you, but the fact of the matter is that I am not keeping anything from you. My brother phoned me to see if I was okay. He told me nothing," Victoria defended herself from his accusatory tone.

"There's a mole in Vought," Homelander told her.

"And you think it might be me?" she snapped at him and he shook his head quickly.

"No, but I think they're working with your brother and his friends," Homelander said. "You see, we thought that it was someone in Crime Analytics who was leaking information…but it wasn't…and then Sage has just told me that they've found a phone number on Cameron Coleman's phone."

"Whose?"

"Marvin Milk," Homelander said.

It took Victoria a second to realise who they were talking about. "M.M?" she checked. "He works with Billy, but I don't know anything about a mole. What are they even leaking? What are they telling them?"

Homelander was quiet then. He studied her. She didn't know. She had no idea of what had happened and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Is this to do with the tape being released by Crime Analytics clearing those two men of killing the three Hometeamers?" Victoria questioned. "I mean, sure…a leak isn't great…but if there was evidence clearing them then surely that should've been made public anyway. Did we even find out who killed those three Hometeamers?"

"No," Homelander lied to her easy enough. Technically, he hadn't killed them. Plus, it had been Sage's idea to kill them and not his. Yes, he'd gone along with it, but he hadn't actively killed them. "But you saw what it was like that day outside the courthouse. It was chaos. It could've been anyone."

"I know, but still weird that there wasn't any CCTV," Victoria said with a shake of her head and she glanced to her husband again as a smile formed on his lips and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know," he said to her and she wanted to ask him if that was true. A part of her didn't believe him. But it wasn't as if she could say anything to him without him getting defensive and them getting into an argument. "But, either way, there's some other stuff going on and we need to stop it. We can't have leaks."

"And what is so top secret that it's being leaked?"

"Everything and nothing," Homelander said. "But what happens in our meetings is confidential. I need to make sure I can trust people."

"And I do get that," Victoria assured him, "but Cameron Coleman? Seriously? How would he even get any information. He's VNN's top anchor, but it's not as if he has access to Crime Analytics, is it? Or meeting information from The Seven?"

"Then why would he have Marvin Milk's number on his phone?"

"I have no idea," Victoria relented on that point. "But I just think that's weird. I don't see him doing anything to risk his career. He's entirely focused on that, not leaking information. He knows what would happen if he got caught. He'd lose his job…be disgraced…I just don't see him as the type of guy who would risk doing that."

Homelander considered what she was saying and he had to admit that she had a point. He looked ahead; eyes fixed on the trees in front of him as he spotted a robin on a branch. He could tell that winter was well and truly coming. It was cold enough and judging by the way Victoria kept rubbing her hands together, she was also chilly.

"I get what you're saying," Homelander said and he reached for her hands. He clasped them in both of his, fingers rubbing along hers and creating friction to warm her up. "But I just don't get why he'd have his number."

"I can't answer that, but maybe you should ask him?" Victoria wondered. "You need to find out who has access to his phone too…I mean…if there is a mole then they'd be clever to frame someone else."

"You sound like you know a lot about this," Homelander said and Victoria chuckled.

"I just have a suspicious mind," she assured him. "Besides, if I was the mole then I wouldn't frame Cameron Coleman. I'd pick someone who makes more sense."

"I know you're not the mole," Homelander promised his wife.

"So you do trust me?"

"I…you've given me no reason not to trust you," Homelander decided on saying to her. "There are some things I trust you implicitly with, Victoria. You're the only one who knows I dye my hair every two weeks now…knows what happened to me in that lab…and I trust you with that because we both know what it's like to have suffered."

"But there are things you don't trust me with?" she asked him. "I thought it was us, John? What happened to that?"

"It is us."

"Then what are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing," he said, the lie coming easy again. He watched her and he knew that she wasn't entirely satisfied with his answer. She tried to prise her hands from his grip, but he kept a tight hold on her. "Vicky, I'm not keeping anything from you," he said to her.

"You swear to me?" Victoria said. "Because I am trying here, John. I am trying to work with you and help you. I just…after everything we've been through and the people who have gotten in between us…I don't want that anymore. I don't want anyone getting in our way."

"There isn't anyone who is going to come between us," Homelander promised her. "I know that things in the past haven't been great between us, but it's just us now, Victoria. There's no Supersonic, Starlight, Daniella trying to ruin us."

"Or Stormfront and Madelyn," Victoria tacked on, recalling the role they had played in their relationship. In a way, this all started with Madelyn. She was the one who had forced the two of them together. "And Firecracker…Sage…"

"No one means as much to me as you," Homelander said. "And we're happy, Victoria. We're going to stay happy. I promise you. I promise you I am going to do everything to keep you happy because being with you is all that matters. I meant what I said, it's just me, you, Ryan and Evie. You're the only ones I care about."

"Just…after everything you've done…just don't hurt me again," Victoria said to him, moving her hand to his cheek and stroking it softly. "Please. I can't take it, John."

Homelander knew that she disagreed with everything he'd done in the past. The fact that they were where they were was a miracle. He saw it as genuine, she saw it as survival. Bending down, he kissed her tenderly, his lips pressing against hers and his mouth moving slowly over hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist and stood up, picking her up easy enough, her front pressed to his. He could feel the padding from her coat and jumper pressing into his suit and she moved her fingers to his neck, stroking it softly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered to her sweetly, pulling back slowly. "I'm never going to hurt you again. I'm going to protect you from everything and anything that comes our way."

He dipped down to kiss her once more and Victoria knew that she was going to play a dangerous game if she was going to get to the bottom of what was going on.

After a weekend away, returning to Vought Tower had been the last thing Victoria wanted to do. A part of her felt trapped whenever they were there. She felt stuck in routine. Homelander had left her alone, claiming that he had a meeting with The Seven about the mole in their midst. Victoria wasn't sure what he was going to do about it, but he was still convinced that it was Cameron Coleman, despite her trying to tell him that it might be someone else.

"What did you do in the end?" she asked after the meeting.

She had been on her way down to the ninety-ninth floor considering that she had paperwork that she needed Ashley to sign off on. Walking down the corridor, she saw that it was only Homelander and Sage in the meeting room. Victoria stepped into it and Homelander turned on his heel from where he stood looking out of the window. Sage was focused on the TV monitors and Victoria saw that it was playing a speech she'd given. But it had been a speech she'd given years ago.

"Is that…from the Durham mooting competition?" Victoria questioned, her mind suddenly distracted.

Homelander walked over to her and looked at the screen. She'd been eighteen and fresh faced in university. She was wearing a black shirt and was stood behind a podium, hair coming down to the small of her back. Moving closer to the screen, Victoria folded her arms over her chest. That felt like a lifetime ago.

"News stations found it and are running it along with clips of speeches you've done at conferences while you did your PhD and interned at the UN," Sage was the one to tell her. Homelander, on the other hand, was quiet. He watched as his wife let her gaze move over the numerous screens on the wall, each one of them showing her face. "You're going through increased scrutiny and we knew that would happen, but this…well…it's something else."

"What do you mean?" Victoria wondered.

"You haven't been watching the news?"

"I've been busy with a two-year old and trying to get this charity business sorted," Victoria said with a shake of her head.

"You're the subject of every talk show…the woman who went from protecting human rights to Homelander's wife…overcame adversity and a troubled childhood," Sage said to her. "There are some questioning how someone who worked for the UN can be married to Homelander after the…trouble he's been in. Some people are saying that you are just blinded by love or that you accept him for who he is. Other people are suggesting that you're with him because you're working from the inside…trying to change things from inside Vought. Then there are others who are suggesting other reasons."

"What reasons?" Victoria queried.

"That you're with me because you're scared of leaving me," Homelander spoke up then and his tone was haughty. He was annoyed and Victoria picked up on that instantly. She wasn't entirely sure what she should say to him, but she knew that she had to diffuse the situation somehow.

"They say that you know how powerful he is and you're with him because you're scared," Sage confirmed.

"Which is obviously bullshit," Homelander snapped. "She's with me because she loves me. Can people not accept that?"

"In this day and age, no," Sage declared. "Not when she's said what she's said in the past. How she thinks and how you think are so contradictory to each other that some people don't see how you can be together."

"Well, it would be a boring world if we all thought the same way," Victoria said, humouring her husband and sitting on the table behind her, legs dangling over the edge and hands planted firmly either side of her. "You know that I'm not going to entertain any of this, right? It'll blow over. We went through the same thing when we first got together and then all throughout our relationship."

Homelander shook his head, arms folding over his chest. "Not on this level," he said to her. "This is different."

"What do you want me to do, John?" Victoria asked, her own voice becoming terse and Sage just stood back and watched the two of them talk. "I didn't ask for any of this to happen."

"Go on TV and stand by him," Sage said.

"I do that constantly."

"Tell the country you stand by me through everything," Homelander said. "You agree that this country needs saving. You agree that I need to be the one to try and save it."

Silence fell over the room then and Victoria felt her stomach churn. She shook her head once. "I'm not doing that."

Homelander looked to her, teeth grinding together and jaw tensing. He stepped closer to her. "Why not?"

"Because you know that I don't agree with what you say," Victoria retorted. "When you talk about supes needing to save the country…about Starlight…you know that I don't agree with it and I am not going on TV and saying that I do. I keep quiet. I stand by your side silently. I will do that, but I am not publicly saying anything. I can't. It's not who I am."

"It'll end the speculation. It'll be good for Homelander," Sage said.

"And I want to help him," Victoria told her and then looked back to her husband, hand going to her chest. "I swear that I want to help you, John, but I can't do that. I just can't."

"Can't or won't?" Homelander asked from her, arching his brow and she knew he was getting angry, but she was also annoyed too. She slipped from the table once more and stood up straight, not backing down.

"You knew who I was when you met me," she said to him. "You knew what I stood for and what I believed in. I worked at the UN. I fought for human rights. Christ, I'm working with Vought on a charity focusing on offering legal assistance to asylum seekers. I can't stand next to you and say that I think the country needs saving…that I what? Think you're our saviour? Do you not remember what happened at the Believe Expo that time?"

He remembered. He remembered how they'd fought over his speech as she claimed that he had no respect for international law. He'd calmed her down then. He'd told her what she wanted to hear and he always did that. He just got a feeling that things were going to come to a head and he wouldn't be able to do that forever.

"So you don't think America needs saving? You think Singer is going to make sure supes are protected? You know what he is doing. He's going to replace us…make us obsolete," Homelander said. "And you can't just stand there and tell people that you agree with me."

"Because I only agree with you to an extent," Victoria said, her hand slicing through the air before she threw her arms up in exasperation. "You think supes are superior and you always have. I don't think that. I don't agree with Singer. I think supes should be allowed to do what humans can. I think that everyone is equal."

He rolled his eyes at that and Victoria pointed at him.

"See?" she snapped. "That's the reason I can't say anything. You just show utter disdain at the notion humans are equal to supes despite the fact you married one. Do you think about that?"

"You think I don't know I married a human?" Homelander asked her. "I know what you are and I still fucking love you because you're not like any of them. You're nothing like them."

"But I am," Victoria said, hands holding her chest as her eyes widened at him. "I'm a human, John. I'm nothing special…nothing exceptional…"

"I chose you," Homelander said and Sage pulled a face, grimacing at the floor as she wondered if he knew what he'd just said. Victoria looked to him and took a step back as he pointed at her. "I chose you, Victoria. I chose you and fell in love with you. It does make you special."

"So I should be grateful that the great Homelander chose me to marry?" Victoria wondered from him. "Is that what you're saying? That I should be falling to my knees and thanking you for picking me from obscurity? Thanking you for loving me?"

Maybe she should. He watched her as she moved closer to him and she looked up at him, her face inches from his as she refused to cower under his intense stare.

"You fell in love with me just like I fell in love with you, John. Neither of us planned this…and you knew who I was and what I stood for. Am I saying that I'm perfect? Absolutely not. I've done things I'm ashamed of…I've stood aside and let you do things I should never have let you do…killing those men who hurt Evelyn…killing Eddie…going after the scientist who hurt you. I'm not going to pretend I'm a pillar of fairness of goodness. I'm not. I know I'm fucked up. But I'm not going to go on national TV and say that I think supes are superior and are our saviours. I'm not doing it."

Homelander watched as she turned on her heel and left the room. Victoria could feel tears in her eyes and she tried to hold herself together. She wasn't going to cry. She couldn't cry. Homelander remained stood on the spot, staring after her, face twitching as he considered what she had said to him and how she had spoken to him.

"She really does have a mind of her own, huh?" Sage suddenly said.

But Homelander didn't respond. He stormed out of the meeting room, his boots hitting the floor heavily and his strides long and purposeful. There were some employees in the corridor, but they jumped out of his way as he stormed past them. He caught up with Victoria, seeing her in the distance, her hair swaying around her back and her head bowed.

"You think it's easy for me?" he yelled at her and she stood still. She turned back and looked to him as he advanced on her, pointing at her. "You think any of this is easy for me? My wife is more popular than I am. Starlight is on television praising you. People are saying that I am keeping you here against your will. And you think this is easy for me? All I want is for you to stand by my fucking side."

"And I do that!" Victoria yelled at him. "I was there every day at your trial. I go to these galas with you. I smile on red carpets. I am there for you. I'm always there for you."

"But you're not going to do what I need you to do, are you?"

"Because I don't agree with you and you know that," Victoria said. "I never asked for any of this. I never asked for the fame…people to speculate on my private life and my history. I never wanted it and you know that. You know that I hate it. I hate people judging me. I'm on the cover of every magazine. My face is plastered on every news show. I have strangers on the internet calling me every name under the sun…a whore…a slut…a fat bitch…my tits are too small…my legs are too chubby…you think this is easy for me? It's not. None of it is easy and I don't want any of it."

"But you have it," Homelander said, arms flapping by his side. "You have it, Victoria."

"And you knew why I had it," Victoria said and she felt his breath on her face as he peered down onto her. "I did it because of you. I did all of it because I fell in love with you and if that was the price to pay then I'd pay it. I'd deal with the trolls. I'd try to ignore them. I'd try to forget about them because you were worth it. You were always worth it."

Homelander was quiet then as he heard her voice begin to break slightly. His eyes picked up and he noticed Firecracker in the distance, moving into the meeting room. He met her eye for a moment before he gave his attention back to his wife as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you know how many nights I'd go home to Michelle and Daniella and look at the comments? Do you know how hard I found it in the beginning? People hated me for no reason. They hated me because I was dating you…and I didn't know if I could do it…I didn't know if I could handle it…and then you…" Victoria's voice broke and her eyes watered and he saw her swallow hard. "You would come to the apartment. You'd knock on the door and when I opened it and you came in, I realised none of it mattered. What people said on the internet didn't matter because when you were there I was happier than I'd ever been. When we were sat in that small room, just us, I realised that I'd take all the online abuse because you were worth it."

Homelander felt his hands twitch by his side as he longed to reach out and hold her. It was his automatic reaction whenever she was upset. He just wanted to protect her.

"And now we're going through a difficult time because of the interview I did, but it will blow over. I'll keep quiet…people will stop talking about me and digging into my past. I'll stay with you. You'll be popular again and I'll just be your wife…and you can't weather that for me?" Victoria asked him. "You can't just let me do this? You can't just respect the fact that I have an opinion that's different to yours?"

He still remained silent, not sure what he should say to her as he saw a tear slip down her cheek and he knew that was his weakness. He could pretend all he wanted to that her tears did nothing to dissuade him, but he knew that was a lie.

"You didn't choose me, John. You don't choose who you fall in love with. You just…you just do," Victoria said. "And you know me in a way no one else does. I've given you everything," she balled her hands against her stomach. "I've given you all that I have and it just feels like it's not enough. I feel like I'm not enough. The fact that you care more about my popularity than the fact that I hate this…the scrutiny…how it makes me feel so uncomfortable…that's the part that hurts, John. You stand there and you haven't even asked me how I feel about all of this. I thought it was us against everyone? I thought no one else's opinion mattered, but that's not true, is it? It seems that everyone's opinion matters except mine...the woman you married."

Homelander looked at her then as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She left him alone in the corridor. He hadn't said anything to her. He had just listened to her and hadn't been able to find the right response for her. But as he watched her walk away, he knew what he wanted. He rushed after her and grabbed her wrist.

"John, I can't keep doing this…it's-"

He cut her off, his mouth descending on hers and he kissed her forcefully, moving his lips against hers and reaching for her hips, pushing her back against the wall. Her arms were limp by her side and it took her a moment before she even responded. Pulling back, he looked her in the eye, gaze burning hers and her heart thudding rapidly against her chest.

"You can't just kiss me and expect forgiveness," Victoria said to him.

"You were right," he told her. "No one else matters, Vicky. No one else fucking matters except you and I can't lose you. Do you understand me? I can't lose you."

"Then stop trying to push me away," Victoria said. "I'm not going to keep doing this. I can't keep doing this."

"I don't want to keep doing this either…you're the only one who sees me. You're the only who understands me, Victoria…it's you…it's always you."

He bent down and kissed her again, not caring that they were in the middle of the corridor. He wrapped his arms around her waist tightly, picking her up from the floor as her arms wound around his neck. Neither of them noticed Firecracker watching them from around the corner.

Victoria had no intention of going to Tek-Knight's mansion for the meeting that had been organised. She knew it was the rich who were attending alongside The Seven. She had told Homelander that she couldn't think of anything worse. He'd seemed slightly annoyed, but he'd accepted her decision. A part of him suspected that it was maybe for the best. She wouldn't enjoy what he was intending on doing. Plus, he suspected that Victoria wasn't feeling her best. The two of them had dressed and gotten ready for some gala event and she had been sniffing and had complained of a sore throat.

"You sure you're up to this?" he'd asked her in the car as she coughed into a tissue, tugging it out of the black clutch that had her phone, some makeup and comb. Plus, she'd chucked in lozenges and tissues. "You're coming down with the flu, aren't you?"

"It's just a cold," she said to him with a wave of her hand. They were in the back seat and approaching the art museum where the event was taking place. It was Vought's annual charity dinner where there was an auction and every member of The Seven was attending along with some of the supes from other regions. There were also high-flying politicians in attendance and even Victoria Neuman had said she'd attend.

"You know, sometimes I find it adorable that you're British…a cold," he said with a chuckle.

"I was raised to only say I had the flu if I couldn't move out of bed. Apart from that, it's just a cold," Victoria said. "And besides, I can't be too sick. I told Ryan that I'd take him shopping tomorrow and he really needs a new pair of jeans. He basically wears the same pair all of the time."

"We can send someone to do that."

"I might've promised him we could get ice cream after," Victoria replied as the car pulled up to the venue. "Let's do this…but if we can leave before the end then I would really appreciate it."

"Of course," Homelander said and he climbed out of the car first. Holding his hand out for her, he let her climb out and sort her dress out. The purple material had swathes of skirt that fluttered to the floor and the bodice had a square neck with wrist-length sleeves. She had her hair tucked behind one ear and had curled it and pinned it into a loose bun, some stands dropping out but still looking elegant. She carried her clutch in her free hand and walked with him down the red carpet.

There were the usual cheers of support, but there were protests too. Victoria just followed Homelander's lead and before she knew it, they were inside the foyer and surrounded by other people in fancy dinner gowns and tuxedos. The foyer was marble with large columns dotted around. The Vought logo adorned most walls and the dining room was filled with white-table cloth tables adorned with large bouquets of blue and white lilies. The stage was set with a podium and there was a dance floor with a band setting up on it.

Victoria stood by Homelander's side, trying not to sniff or sneeze. Homelander kept her hand inside of his and she spotted Ashely in a red dress with a slit up her leg. The Seven were all dotted around and dressed in their supe costumes. Victoria recognised some employees and she waved softly at the ones who made eye contact with her. She drank her orange juice, opting for a soft drink instead of an alcoholic one.

She engaged in conversation whenever anyone spoke to her, but she kept her answers brief. No one asked her about her interview. Just as they were called to dinner, Victoria felt her nose begin to run and she squeezed her husband's hand.

"I just need to use the bathroom," she said to him.

"You're not feeling well, are you?" he said to her.

"I can make it through dinner," she assured him. "I'll be back in a minute."

Homelander watched her head off to the bathroom before Sage cornered him and told him they needed to talk. Victoria stepped into the empty bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. She tugged her tissues from her purse and blew her nose, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the headache that was coming on.

"Everyone out there is dancing around you because they're too scared to address the elephant in the room."

Looking into the mirror, Victoria saw Victoria Neuman stood there. She had her arms folded over her chest and was wearing a white pantsuit with a black shirt. She stood by the sink where Victoria was, turning to the side and looking at her.

"I can hear them whispering. People think they're quiet, but they're not," Victoria said to her. "I'm not going to bring it up. I did it. I'm not reliving it."

"It was a bold move," Neuma said to her. "And the coverage since…it's quite something."

"I'm trying not to pay attention to it," Victoria said.

"So you have no desire of joining government as a special envoy?" Neuman checked and Victoria snorted a laugh and tossed her tissue into the bin under the sink.

"Absolutely not," Victoria said. "I'm fine hiding from the spotlight."

"You know that the spotlight can protect you, don't you?" Neuman asked from her and Victoria turned to look her in the eye. "Starlight spoke out and her fame protects her. If you speak out…tell people that you don't agree with your husband's politics…people would listen to you. You're popular. You can use that popularity to shield you from him. He wouldn't be able to touch you. He wouldn't be able to hurt you because you'd have protection."

Victoria shook her head. "No," she said, "I'm fine where I am."

"Is that true?" Neuman asked her. "You don't need to bullshit me. I know that you ran away from him. I know that you took your daughter and you ran away."

"And then I came back," Victoria said.

"You didn't come back willingly," she retorted. "Listen, I'm not an idiot. I'm just saying that I know, alright? I know that it can't be easy for you being with him."

"He's my husband and I love him," Victoria replied. "I'm not leaving him."

"You could," Neuman said. "You have the strength. You have what you need to stay safe from him…but only you can make that decision."

Victoria cocked her head. "Why do you care?" she wondered.

Neuman faltered for a second but it was hardly noticeable. "Because I'm not a complete monster," she replied. "And because I think you've been through enough."

Was there a part of her that felt guilty that she'd been the one who had given Homelander her location? Perhaps. Perhaps that feeling of guilt had just swelled since she'd found out about what Victoria had gone through. But she didn't say any of that. Instead, the two women parted ways out of the bathroom and returned to the dining hall.

Victoria found Homelander easy enough. He was sat at the front table next to Sage. The chair next to him was empty. A-Train, The Deep, Noir and Firecracker were sat on the same table. Victoria wanted to groan at the sight of them. Instead, she took a deep breath and prepared herself to go and sit down. Homelander stood up as she approached, pulling her chair out for her. She sat down and he tucked it underneath. Returning to his seat, he reached his gloved hand under the table and let his fingers rest on her thigh.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Just stuffy," she said and he looked over her.

"You're running quite warm," he said to her. "Vic, I think you might have a fever."

"No, I'm alright," she said to him and picked up a glass of sparkling water, sipping on it.

"Victoria, you know I wanted to tell you that I saw your interview. I think what you did was incredibly brave," Deep piped up out of nowhere and Victoria just looked at him stoically. She didn't like him. She never had done after how he'd treated Annie. He claimed that he was reformed, but she just saw him as a suck up to her husband. He was clearly doing that right now. "I know how difficult it is to speak out when someone says something against you that isn't true. It's-"

"-Shut up, Deep," Homelander interrupted him. Deep glanced down at the table and Firecracker moved a comforting hand to his arm.

The dinner was awkward and Victoria knew it. Homelander focused all of his attention on her, conversing with her as Sage spoke with A-Train but the conversation was stilted. They ate the three courses, but Victoria left most of her food. She wasn't feeling too hungry and Homelander noted a bead of sweat on her forehead. She coughed into her fist and he moved a hand to her back, rubbing it soothingly as it was announced that the auction was going to begin.

They sat through the auction and clapped when they were supposed to before the band struck up and people moved from the tables to go and mingle.

"You don't look too good, Victoria," Firecracker said as she left the table.

"I'm fine," Victoria said, voice haughty in response. She didn't really want to engage in conversation.

"Listen, about the other day, I just wanted to say how truly sorry I was," Firecracker said, hand pressing to her chest as her face tried to portray genuine apology. "It was out of line and I don't want there to be bad blood between us."

Victoria said nothing and Homelander just remained quiet, letting his wife take the lead.

"Alright," Victoria decided on saying. She was too tired to argue and she knew it wasn't the place.

"Excellent," Firecracker said giddily. "This is a great party, right? I mean, you probably can't appreciate it because you look sick…maybe you should go home? I can call you the car? Take you back?"

"I can cope," Victoria said to her.

"You sure?" Homelander asked. "Because I can get the car and we can go."

Firecracker's smile faltered for a second. "Well, you don't both have to go, do you?" she replied. "You're not both sick, are you?"

Victoria wanted to laugh at how transparent she was being. She wanted Homelander alone and she saw this as her opportunity. Victoria looked to her husband and waited for him to say something. He could take the lead on this one. He moved from his seat and held his hand to his wife.

"One dance and we'll go home…I'll make you a mug of tea and get you some medicine," he said to her. "You can even watch TV in bed."

"Sounds perfect," Victoria said and she took hold of his hand.

The two of them moved past Firecracker without another word towards the dance floor. The quartet were playing a tune Victoria recognised. It was slow and there were other people moving on the floor in the classic waltz pose. Homelander took his wife's waist and held her other hand in the air. Victoria placed a hand onto his shoulder, her chest brushing against his as he moved them slowly around the floor, taking the lead.

"She really wants to get you alone," Victoria said to him.

"Even if she got me alone, nothing would ever happen," Homelander said. "And I meant what I said. One dance and we can go home because you really do have a fever and you're looking exhausted."

"I am tired," Victoria confessed to him.

"I know, sweetheart," Homelander said to her. "We can go now…come on…let's just go home."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure," he said to her.

Homelander sorted the car out so that it came around the back and they avoided the crowd. Sitting in the backseat of the car, Homelander wrapped his arm around Victoria's shoulders and she found her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she drifted off to sleep and they crawled through New York's traffic. Homelander looked down to her as she slept against him, her eyes tightly closed and her lips slightly parted. He moved slowly, his chin by her head and her nose pressing into her hair as he kissed her gently there. He felt her shift slightly against him as her head fell even further between his shoulder and chest and he just kept watching her.

"Sir, we're here," the driver said after about half-an-hour.

"Go round the block again," Homelander settled on saying and the driver set off once more and Homelander let Victoria sleep.

….

A/N: Another chapter! Thank you so much to everyone for sticking with me for the story. As always, would love your thoughts and anythin you want to see do let me know! Would love to know if you have any ideas!