Chapter 4

Flashback – Winter 1763 (Seven Year War End)

I entered the Opera House early and went straight to Madam Giry's quarters. I knocked and when I was ushered in, I found Madam Giry already dressed for the day, writing what looked to be a letter. However, she looked up as I entered the room.

"Good morning, Madam Giry."

"Good morning, Christine, is there something that I can help you with?"

I twisted my hands as I suddenly grew nervous. No doubt Erik had been in contact with her over the last several months. And no doubt he probably told her that I had halted my training. However, I knew that I needed to see him, and to not only explain my clearly longer than normal absence, but also the feeling that I had felt, the need to sing.

"I need to get in touch with Erik." I finally said.

Madam Giry dropped her pen that she was writing with and looked up at me. She quickly got up and poked her head out of the door to ensure that no one had been around to hear me. She quickly locked her door and then turned back to me.

"Christine, you must take care where you speak."

I bowed my head in embarrassment. I had forgotten that people didn't know of my affiliation with the Opera Ghost. Regardless though, I needed to get in touch with him, and the best person to do that was through Madam Giry.

"I apologize Madam, I didn't mean to cause harm. But please, I must get in contact with him. I am sure that you know of what has transpired and I can assure you that I am ready to speak with him again."

Madam Giry sighed. "Christine you must mean what you say. He has already held a life full of disappointment, I don't want you to be added to that list."

"I know, he—; he told me. I just didn't know what to think. I was overwhelmed and just needed time. Time to think about everything."

"Very well, I shall pen a letter to him, telling him you wish to speak with him. But Christine, be warned, should you leave him again, I fear that he will not recover." Madam Giry said, in a serious tone.

I nodded in return, however before she could begin to write the letter to Erik, I handed her a sealed envelope with Erik's name on it, or rather the initials O.G instead should anyone find it by mistake.

"I took the liberty of writing a letter myself to him with explanations and all." I said, hoping that she wouldn't ask what was in that letter.

Madam Giry accepted the letter and nodded. She told me that I should place it in box 5 as that would be the best place to leave it. I stood and thanked her and quickly made my way to Box 5. Inside I left the letter on the seat. All I could do now was wait.

For several days I waited. Erik had not responded right away as I thought he might. Although I should have expected that. I had all but abandoned him. Yet I had hoped that he would be willing to at least read the letter and perhaps be willing to listen to my explanation in person. Thankfully my salvation came nearly a month after attempting to reach him.

I had been warming up when Madam Giry approached me and said that I had been summoned to the Prima Donna dressing room. Thankfully that was during one of the very few days that our resident diva, Carlotta, was away. I quickly made my way from rehearsals and entered the Prima Donna room. There I was met with perhaps the best sight in the world. Erik standing there.

"Erik!" I said.

I suddenly ran to him and hugged him, not realizing that perhaps that would be wildly inappropriate. Yet at that point I didn't care. I was just so glad to see him. Before long I felt his arms embrace me and for a while we just hugged. Finally, finding the courage to break the hug I stepped back. Erik was the first to speak. He placed the letter that I had written on the dressing room table.

"I received your letter."

"Yes, it seems you have. I know that there is no excuse for abandoning you. I never wished to do so. But after everything, I just felt trapped, and I needed time to understand everything. Let me reassure you that, in everything that you had divulged to me, the part about your past was the least of it. It was all of the secrets that you kept from me regarding the fact that you are or were an Assassin for the Brotherhood."

As I said this, I looked at Erik squarely in the face. I couldn't tell what he was feeling as he must have been able to close himself off further, not allowing for any emotion to cross over his face.

"However, after all of this time, I believe I have accepted this. In fact, I have missed your teachings more than I would care to admit. But that isn't the only reason why I wanted to reach out to you. Erik, if you recall what you offered me four years ago, when we first met, I told you that I was in no shape to handle it. But now, I think it's ok. I think I am ready to allow myself this one small piece of forgiveness. Erik, I wish for you to teach me to sing."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I caught a glimpse of Erik's face, which had divulged into shock. For once I could tell that Erik may have become speechless. And for the few short minutes of silence, it felt like hours. Nothing was said between us, until finally Erik broke the silence.

Clearing his throat, he replied, "Christine, it would be an honor to coach you. For I believe that you are the only person who could ever bring my music justice."

It was then that Erik not only became my mentor for the Brotherhood, but he also became my vocal coach as well. For five years Erik trained me in both Assassin technique and vocal instruction. I remember the jubilation at finding my voice once again, and I owed a lot to Erik, for he was the one that had been willing to help me. However, that wasn't the only thing that had started to change during that time. Over the years I found myself and Erik becoming closer, so much so that several times I believed that perhaps there was something more between us. However, something would happen to only disappoint me in the end. Even so, I could remember, clear as day, when my feelings had come out into the open, and it was a day that I would never forget.

Spring - 1768

Erik and I had been practicing for the upcoming audition for Hannible that would take place in a week. We had already had our nightly Assassin training, and now Erik was instructing me through the main vocal arrangement for the lead role in Hannible. Erik believed that I would be the Prima Donna, yet I thought he was crazy, considering that our resident Prima Donna, Carlotta, was still here and was likely to get the part regardless. Yet Erik had been insistent that I would gain the lead role.

" When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me. "

I sang through the lines that would take me to the next verse, however Erik had stopped me.

"Try adjusting your stance a bit more Christine, that way you can allow for a bigger breath and expand out your diaphragm a little more. Remember you must vocalize and ensure that everyone can hear you." Erik explained.

I nodded and started again from the top.

" Think of me, think of me fondly when we say goodbye, remember me once in while please promise me you'll try. When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free, if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me. "

Erik then stopped and looked at me with approval.

"That was excellent Christine! You are nearly ready. You shall have them eating out of the palm of your hand next week. And if Carlotta knows what is good for her, she will step aside and allow the spotlight to be shined upon someone else."

I suddenly looked at Erik, this time with a little bit of worry. I knew that Erik, being the Opera Ghost, had some pull with the manager and often would use threats to get his way. However, when we started working on my vocal training, I had never considered the fact that Erik could pull strings to get me roles. I suddenly found myself not wanting this. If I was to gain any lead roles, I would rather gain them on my own merit and not because I had some pull with the Opera Ghost. Even though others didn't know that I was affiliated with Erik, aside from Madam Giry, I still would know, and part of me felt that, in some way, that was cheating and taking a shortcut. Deciding to bring my fears to the table I turned to Erik.

"Erik, you know that I appreciate all that you have done for me over the last several years, but I would like to make it clear that I don't want any of your tricks pulled when I audition next week. I wish to gain the part, lead or not, on my own merit. I know Carlotta isn't the best, but if Monsieur Lefevre believes that Carlotta would be better suited for the role, then I wish for you not to pull any stunts to sabotage her. Believe me, I know that she is awful and can't tell a tune from a beat, but I don't want to live knowing that I didn't achieve this goal fairly. Please tell me you won't do anything." I explained.

I could hear an audible sigh come from Erik. Clearly, he must have been thinking about this too otherwise I don't believe he would have responded in that fashion.

"Alright, Christine, I won't do anything, but if she does something to you, then all bets are off, understood?"

Finding that that would likely be the best compromise, I nodded and smiled back at him. After that I let out a yawn. Knowing that it was late I decided to start making my way towards my room. I laughed thinking to myself if Madam Giry even knew. I could hear the words now. 'It is improper for a young unmarried lady to stay in the home of a man that is not her husband.' Though because of Erik and I's nightly activities, we both agreed that since I didn't have a dorm room anymore with the Corp de Ballet, and that my apartment although not far from the opera house wasn't always safe to travel to at night, Erik and I agreed that me staying here was the best solution. However, I truly believed that it was for Erik's own peace of mind rather than mine. Erik by now knew that I could hold my own, especially since he was the one that had trained me. Yet I found myself liking the fact that I could stay here. I found it much quieter, and I could fall asleep to the lake.

Letting out a yawn, I turned to Erik. "I think I am going to turn in for the night. It's been a long day, and I need to have at least some energy to present tomorrow." I chuckled.

Erik only smiled at that and nodded, which was a sign that I was dismissed from practice. I entered my room and had gotten nearly ready for bed when I remembered that I had left my sheet music on the organ. I would likely need it for tomorrow, so I stepped out to obtain it. However, when I stepped out, I saw that Erik was sitting in his chair, and to my surprise his mask was off. I could see it placed on the table near his chair. Granted, I couldn't see Erik or his face, but I knew that perhaps his face must have grown irritated. By the looks of it he hadn't noticed that I had left my room. As quietly and quickly as I could, I made my way stealthily towards the organ to obtain my sheet music, however I had tripped and suddenly Erik got up and he turned to face me. And for the first time, I had seen Erik, without his mask.

I remembered years ago when Erik had told me that he had a severe facial deformity that had caused him more pain than anything else. He had told me that his face wasn't for the faint of heart, and I suppose he was right. Yet I didn't fear his face. I stared at it wide eyed, and suddenly as if he realized that he didn't have his mask on he instantly covered his face with his hand. I attempted to get up, while Erik scrambled for his mask and shouted at me not to look. Once I regained my footing I stood there as Erik finally managed to place his mask back on his face. Yet I stood there still wide eyed.

"Christine, what were you doing?!" Erik asked.

"I—, I—," I found myself at a loss for words. I had seen Erik's face! After all of these years I finally knew. And yet I wasn't afraid. However, Erik took my lack of response as a bad thing and instantly his demeanor changed to that of anger.

"So, after all of this time, you have come to catch me without it. After all that we have been through, and you wanted to catch a look at the monster that lives underneath the opera house!"

I flinched as he raised his voice, but I still stood firm in my ground. I would not let him intimidate me. Sure, I had caught him without his mask, but that was an accident. I had never intended for things to happen like this. And because of this a righteous fury took over me.

"What?! Erik, do you still not know me at all! For nearly 9 years you have known me, and not once have I ever asked you about what lay beneath the mask. You once told me that your face sported an awful deformity not for the faint of heart, well Erik, I am not of a faint heart! I am someone who had seen plenty of awful things in her life, especially with a father who was an Assassin. So don't you dare ridicule me for thinking that I would sneak around to only catch a glimpse of your face! By now I would think you would know me, but I guess I was wrong … again. And here I thought that I loved you. I guess I was wrong in that too."

I turned quickly, and entered my room, changed back into my day clothes and gathered my things. I placed my hidden blade on me so that I would have some form of protection. I decided that enough was enough and I wasn't going to wait around any longer for a dream that clearly wouldn't come to pass. I walked out of my room and started walking toward the Rue Scribe entrance. Erik had taught me this passage so that I could easily slip in and out, especially when I would go back and forth in the mornings so as not to rouse suspicion. I could care less if it was the middle of the night. I just knew that I couldn't stay there. To think that he believed me to be this prying little lying Delila, and a viper. Didn't he know me at all? Even though I was still angry, I could feel tears running down my face. And here I thought perhaps he loved me back.

As I was walking towards my apartment, I was so busy being hurt and angry that I didn't realize that I was being followed. Suddenly out of nowhere I felt someone come up behind me and hold what felt like a knife to my throat. I stood still, not daring to move.

"Well, well, well. What's a pretty lady like you doing out here in these parts alone at night?"

"Aren't you supps'd to be back at the brothel? Perhaps there's an award for your return, perhaps maybe a night with ya?"

I could smell the alcohol on the man's breath and knew that I was being held in a locked position. However, my training started to kick in, and I managed to position my hidden blade at the man's side. Quickly and efficiently, I stabbed the man and in pain he let me go. I turned around and took a stance ready for another attack.

"Why you little…"

However, his words were cut short, as suddenly there was a Punjab Lasso that landed around his neck. And just like that, he was pulled until there was an audible snap of his neck. I looked around frantically looking for anyone else that may have been lurking in the shadows. I held my defenses still looking around. Suddenly I could hear someone drop behind me. With my adrenaline still high I started to attack whoever opted to sneak up behind me. Using the moves that had been ingrained in my memory from years of training, I kicked and attacked the person offering no form of reprieve. Finally, seeming to get the upper hand, it got to the point where I managed to tackle my attacker, and I held my blade to their neck. However, instead of being met with another man who was likely drunk and looking to attack and innocent woman, I found Erik under my blade. My eyes widened and I quickly got off him and stepped away. I sheathed my hidden blade and backed away further.

I watched as Erik stood and started to coil up his Punjab lasso. I didn't dare say anything. I wasn't sure what side of Erik I was going to be met with, considering that I had left the Opera Ghost behind not more than 10 minutes prior. Still though, I continued to watch him. Finally, when he seemed to have all his weapons in check, did he look at me. Again, I remained silent, not wanting to say anything at all. Erik sighed and ultimately was the one to break the silence.

"Christine, I—, I'm sorry. I should have never lashed out at you like that. I should never have allowed my judgment to be clouded. You are right, you above anyone else would understand all that I have done and more, you managed to understand my past, why should my face be any different. However, as you already know, I have severe anger issues when my face is mentioned, and it is in this regard that I wear the mask and don't allow anyone, not even Madam Giry, to see my face. The only one that has ever seen my face to date is the Daroga, whom I have not seen in many years, that, and your father. The Brotherhood doesn't even know what lies under the mask. I suppose it is my own insecurity that drove me to act the way that I did. You see, even though the Daroga, did see my face, even he couldn't manage to stomach it all, so I vowed that no one would ever see my face unless it was on my terms. That is until your father saw it when he was here long ago. However, I had been the one to initiate that. So, when you saw my face unexpectedly tonight, I thought that this would be it, that you would shun me and never want to see me again. But the truth is, I can't bear to live without you Christine, you have become not only my muse, but my very reason to live. At first, I didn't foresee our relationship going any further than that of mentor and student. I didn't even think that vocal instruction would ever come along, but it has, and now more than just that of a man and his muse, or a mentor and his Assassin along with a teacher and his student, I have found that I want more than that. I didn't want to tell you, because I truly felt that you would never feel the same way, so I stubbornly kept my feelings hidden. However, after you told me that you loved me tonight, I couldn't help but regret all that I had said and done. So, Christine, I come before you to beg your forgiveness, please allow me to correct my clear oversight."

I looked at Erik, not sure what to make of everything that he said. Yes, I did hear his apology and yes, I did understand everything in regard to the entire face reveal debacle, yet I still felt hurt. Hurt to know that he would think me too naïve to handle the truth. This was much like how things had gone when he finally revealed the truth to me about his past and about the reason for him and I having even met in the first place. Yet the one thing that stopped me was the fact that he had feelings for me. All of this time, he and I had fallen for one another. It was clear now that he believed his face would drive a wedge between us and would drive me away. Yet if he knew me at all, that would have been the last thing that it would have done. Yet how was he to know of this? Erik may be many things, but a mind reader was not one of them. I sighed, Erik may be obtuse at times, and he may not always pick up on the communication spectrum that is love, but he was still someone that I truly loved, face and all, and it was because of that, that I would need to show a little grace and accept his grievous mistake. Heaven knows that I didn't want to lock myself away like last time.

"Erik, I hear what you have said. But before I speak any further on the subject, I want you to know that you have hurt me. I want you to know that you can't simply say you're sorry and expect things to be made up that quickly. While I do understand that things regarding your mask may have not panned out the way that you had intended, I want you to know that I would never … never betray you like you assumed I did back at the lair. There is one thing you need to understand Erik, I have always trusted you. Yes, on occasion, there have been times I have found it hard to trust you, but I want you to understand that I never stopped even when we were apart for that one year. All I ask is that you would bestow the same amount of trust in me as well. I would think that after nearly 9 years that you would have learned to trust me as much as I trust you. And another thing, your face never made me fear you or reject you. In fact, I believe that your face is beautiful in its own way. Lastly Erik, I have had feelings for you ever since you agreed to be my vocal coach. And since then, they have only intensified. So, I ask you Erik, to trust me with your heart for I am willing to trust you with mine."

Before I could take a breath, there were lips on mine, and it occurred to me that Erik was kissing me. He was kissing me and right there in the dark alley way, we kissed. Eventually the need for air arose and I looked up at Erik while he looked down at me. I smiled and kissed his nose, or at least what I could see of it.

"I love you Erik, and nothing will ever change that."

"Ah Christine, you have no idea how long I wished to hear those words come from your lips. Now I no longer need to wish, for I have finally had a miracle bestowed upon me and that is the miracle of you."

I could only smile at Erik and hold him close.

After that night, Erik and I began our romantic relationship, and things only began to get better from there. Finally, we were both happy. And things only got better. A few months later, Erik proposed the idea of me moving in with him into the lair. That way he would be able to ensure my safety and that I wouldn't have to walk back and forth at night from the opera house to my small apartment. I at first was hesitant of the idea and believed that it might pose a problem in regard to how I was going to keep things under control when I needed to play the part of soprano, chorus girl, and dancer by day and Assassin by night. Erik simply said that early in the morning he would walk me up to the Rue Scribe entrance before the end of breakfast and then allow me to follow the route to the entrance of the Opera House and do as I had done before to make it seem that I was coming from my rented apartment. I thought about this, and it seemed like a good idea. Even though I could easily defend myself, I knew that it was more for Erik's benefit and peace of mind. And for a while everything had worked out. I still continued with my vocal training and still attempted to audition for lead roles upon Erik's instruction. Even though most of the time I never ended up in the lead role, the fact that I attempted was what instilled my own confidence. However, everything had come crashing down one night, just before the performance of a French retelling of the Greek myth, Hades and Persephone, Hadès et Perséphone.