She purred at the pleasant sensation of a hand kneading her left shoulder. Her eyes still closed, she didn't want to open them just yet; her muscles were sore and the relief was to die for.
But she couldn't help herself and looked over her shoulder; his face was so sleepy, she felt like kissing it all over.
"Mmm," he purred, squinting at her through sleepy eyes. "Come here," he murmured, pulling at her shoulder to turn her around and pulled her flush against his chest, sending a wave of flutter over her stomach. Snaking her arm around his waist, she pressed her cheek to his chest, easing into the embrace, last night's afterglow still coursing through all of her, etched all over her; like he had marked her.
Her breath calming down, she listened to the sounds of the morning outside. It was suddenly weirdly quiet once the roosters stopped shouting over each other. Which meant it was high time to get up.
So, what happened now? They should talk; she just didn't know what to say. Maybe just let it be. What was there to say, really? She wasn't going to ask him to stay, not after he had made it clear he was off to start a new life. They did get a bit carried away yesterday, but it didn't change things. If it had, he would've mentioned it; they talked a lot last night.
It was just a moment, no matter how long and intense; a sort of goodbye, maybe. He didn't ask her to stay.
Besides, what would the point of that be? He was about to resume the ambrosia search, anyway. Actually, she should think about doing that, as well; she had promised him as much.
She should go get Gabrielle and make plans to leave. Convince Gabrielle that she was all good to go. They should head back to the Amazon camp, she needed to see Eve; her daughter was going through a rough patch now and she — her mother — was here, fooling around with him, instead of being by her side.
The sudden memory of him kissing Eve in the Roman arena made her stomach turn.
She got out of his embrace and went to look around for her dress; she found it near the small barrel with the empty candleholder on it. Knot forming in her chest, she threw the dress on hastily, not looking at him, she couldn't — if she as much as caught a glimpse of him now, she wouldn't be able to walk out of here.
"I gotta go," she said briefly and sneaked out of the door before he could say a word.
He squinted through sleepy eyes, watching the door close behind her.
So, that was how it was going to be.
Well, so be it.
He wasn't going to run after her.
He growled, feeling the temperature rise in his forehead, fists clenching.
He felt like running her through with a sword; he would then twist the blade and watch her face twist in agony as life faded away from her wide-open eyes when she collapsed at his feet.
That would make her stay.
#
Gabrielle stretched out on her bedroll, her eyes wide open.
She'd never been a morning person but this morning she was too preoccupied to be sleepy. Although, in all honesty, the morning wasn't that early to start with.
Her last night's conversation with Kyrillos reinforced her in her opinions, and she felt the need to act; she had a feeling this had to be fixed fast or things would get ugly.
She needed to talk to Xena.
Walking into the house, she threw a quick glance towards the empty kitchen to the left. Having refilled her waterskin, she headed down the corridor. Xena was still asleep, from the look of it; the bedroom door were closed.
Gabrielle opened the door quietly without knocking, a took a peek inside.
Well, Xena probably went for a swim and her morning run. In that case, Gabrielle would wait for her around the house. Hopefully, they would have time to talk before Gabrielle had to leave for work; Pelagia mentioned they should be in the neighboring village by noon, but then again, the morning sun was pretty high up already.
Restless, she decided to go back and do a proper morning stretch on her bedroll. Just as she was about to sit down, her eyes fell on the barn in the distance.
Ares. He was likely to know where Xena was. Wouldn't hurt to ask. Or, actually it would, she smirked as she could already hear an array of putdowns directed her way; though, in all honesty, ever since that drunk night it had stopped getting to her the way it used to.
She hadn't even taken two steps of the way when she froze in her spot.
The door of the barn opened, but walking out of them was not Ares. It was Xena. She walked out, closing the door behind her, and headed towards the main road.
By the time Gabrielle reached the barn Xena had long disappeared in the woods behind the road.
Gabrielle hesitated.
Originally, she had wanted to follow Xena but now that she was here, she felt the pull to knock on the door.
She did.
She waited.
When she was about to leave, the door opened roughly.
"Ares… are you okay…?" she asked. He looked anything but.
"Whatever it is, I'm not in the mood." He slammed the door in her face.
Or, maybe she should have followed Xena, after all.
#
They were both in bed; Gabrielle with her back against the headrest, looking at Xena with slightly creased brows, and Xena on the edge of the mattress, facing her, but staring at the blade of the sword in her lap instead, the silence dragging on.
"We should start thinking about leaving," Xena said, tracing the length of the metal with her fingertips.
"We need to talk, Xena."
"We are talking."
Gabrielle let out a faint sigh. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. But if that's what you wanna talk about, the conversation has pretty much run its course."
Gabrielle sighed in exasperation. This was going to be a drag. "So, when do you wanna leave?" she asked, probing the waters.
"Whenever you're ready," Xena replied lightly, raising the blade, looking up and down the length of it.
"How about now?" Gabrielle asked, eagerly watching her friend's eyes widen up just slightly and very briefly, but Gabrielle couldn't miss it. Kyrillos was right, she didn't want to leave. Well, that was a good start. "How about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow's good," Xena replied smoothly, her voice light, standing in contrast with sadness etching on her face.
"Xena — I don't wanna leave."
"What?"
"I don't wanna leave — just that."
"What do you mean?"
"Xena… it's the first place in years that feels like home…"
Xena smiled wistfully, her eyes cast down. "It does, doesn't it..."
"Kyrillos and Pelagia feel like family… it's peaceful and quiet, and I get to heal people for a living…"
"Well, if you put it that way..."
"But don't you miss it? Having a place to go back to?"
There was a short silence.
"Gabrielle… I do… but this is not our home, and we've overstayed our welcome already."
"Xena, they're lonely here with no family, I spoke to Kyrillos yesterday and he as much as asked us to stay."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so now that you're out of arguments against staying, what do you say?"
"What about Ares?"
"What about him?"
"He should be the one to stay, not us."
"Why?"
"Gabrielle, we can take care of ourselves. He is freshly mortal and just getting the hang of this… it would be good if he stayed out of trouble until he does; besides, I think Kyrillos wouldn't want to see him to leave," Xena said, a hint of softness in her eyes.
"I think Kyrillos is not the only one."
"What?"
"I think you don't wanna see him leave, either."
Gabrielle expected more pretending but nothing came. She noticed how Xena's chest started rising and falling faster than before.
"Xena, I'm not blind. Neither is Kyrillos — just in case you're gonna try to tell me how mistaken I am, well — there's two of us."
"Gabrielle—"
"Let me finish. I love you, you're my family, and I want to see you happy. Even if that includes having more of, well, someone like Ares in our lives."
"Gabrielle…"
"I mean it, Xena. I'm probably never gonna like him, and I still think he's a massive jerk, but I think there might be some untapped potential here, though it's likely just you that can tap into it," she smirked. "What I'm trying to say is… I'm not gonna stand in your way if you feel that — that it's worth a try. I'm not gonna stand in the way, I'm gonna stand by your side. Always."
Gabrielle was finishing her sentence teary eyed, but when she saw Xena's eyes turn glossy, her own tears fell freely.
She moved to pull Xena in a hug; they stayed in the embrace for a while.
"I know it's not that simple," Gabrielle whispered, stroking her head.
Xena pulled away, wiped her face with her clenched fists, and very casually put her sword in her lap again.
Gabrielle sighed. "You're afraid to trust him."
Xena sniffed, palming the blade absent-mindedly. "It's not even that anymore."
Gabrielle waited.
"He's mortal now," Xena said.
"Xena, he's even more than that — he actually displays human emotions."
"That's the thing, Gabrielle — he is all that, because he's human; and it's almost like he's not himself anymore."
"Xena, no offense, but how is that not a good thing?" Gabrielle asked with amusement.
"But that's the thing — it is!"
"So?"
"Gabrielle — this is just temporary; as soon as he eats ambrosia, this person would be gone."
"You don't know that for a fact."
"Remember when Sisyphus stole his sword and he was mortal for several days? He wasn't quite like he is now, but it was there — this human quality, he was different. The moment I got him his sword back, it vanished in a heartbeat. You saw it, you were there."
"But you can't deny that even as a god, he's changed since then. That Ares wouldn't have given up his godhood for you."
"The godhood that he just asked me to help him regain."
"Xena, do you actually believe that Ares, with his ego and pride, would ask for your help like that? Don't you think it might have just been an excuse — to see you?"
"To see me, and get his godhood back."
"Which was before he got a taste of what a mortal life could feel like with you around."
"As a temporary entertainment before he gets his hands on ambrosia, yes."
"How do you know he would even eat it now?"
"Believe me, I know. It wouldn't take a second if I as much as put it in his hand."
"Then don't. And see if he looks for it himself. I think you might be surprised."
"Gabrielle… maybe… as long as he has fun playing mortal life. But there will come a moment when he remembers that mortal life ends in death, and that would be it."
"Well, you do know him better than I do…"
"Gabrielle, he doesn't value this life the way we do — he's just trying to adapt to it to survive, but he hates every step of the way," Xena looked away with a twitch of her eyebrows. "He looks down on it like he stepped into a puddle of shit. Mortal or not, inside there's a god, still looking down on mortals."
"He doesn't look down on you."
"That's not good enough if he does on everyone else."
"He doesn't look down on Kyrillos, either."
"Great, that's the total of two people — that's a game-changer! Gabrielle — since when do you do his bidding?"
"Xena, please... Whatever I say in his favor is solely my sense of justice speaking, trust me."
"Look, this is pointless—"
"Xena, he loves you. He gave up everything for you. All he had. And now, he would rather suffer the horror of living this life he hates — just to live it with you, rather than look for the way to get his old life back—"
"Gabrielle, you don't know that."
"He as much as said it himself. Not to me, he wouldn't. To Kyrillos."
Gabrielle watched as Xena's pouted lips relaxed, her eyes softening.
"Just wanted you to know that whatever you decide, I'm with you."
"Gabrielle… thank you."
"Unless you choose to leave tomorrow, then I'm not. Xena, please, just several more days… we might never get another chance to experience all this..."
"Well if you're gonna be all whiny about it — fine. Several more days."
"You don't look too unhappy yourself, you know?" Gabrielle teased.
"Gabrielle, don't push your luck," Xena countered, and a corner of her mouth curled up in a smile as she looked down.
"I'm off to work; if you take Argo for a ride, try to come back today this time," she grinned.
Xena rolled her eyes at the joke and let out a deep sigh.
Gabrielle sighed, too. With relief.
