"We need to find Bowser! If we can't find him, then the fight can't begin at all!"
"The guys at the villain bar won't let us a-live it down if we can't get him to the fight soon!"
Batman, Mario, Luigi, and Zelda were pacing around in the library - Yes the hotel has a library- And were trying to piece together the clues.
1: Bowser was inside the hero hotel.
2: He had a bite of cake, and messed up the Italian section of the buffet.
3: He had a skirmish (Read: Curbstomp) with Hercule. Which lead to-
4: He was not on the first floor.
And 5: He wasn't causing Peach any trouble.
So where was he?
"I won't tolerate ANY villains in this hotel. They're all cowards who hide behind power." Batman growled, he slammed his fist on the table.
Zelda flinched at his slam, "We need to narrow down the search, I'll check out some sections of the library and see if I can't find a searching spell."
"See you a-later then."
"Thanks Luigi, Daisy's a lucky girl."
"Aww, thanks!" Luigi blushed.
"FOCUS!" The two brothers jumped at the sudden volume, "We need to get a plan of attack for when we do encounter him."
"Easy. I spin him around, and throw him out the window." Mario countered.
"Defenestration? That's your plan?" Batman blanched, "We need a better one."
"What do you mean?" Luigi asked, "It sounds like a good plan to me."
"It sounds like Stark's plan for the dodge ball competition we had a while ago..."
A while ago...
"Gah!" Cloud had narrowly evaded the ball thrown by Vegeta, "We need a better plan, those strategies from that show aren't working!"
"Well, what do you suggest?" Came Captain America's reply.
"Well, obviously we need a plan of attack." Cloud responded sarcastically.
"I have a plan:" Iron Man stepped in, with two rubber ball in his hand, and his repulsors charging up...
Steve grimaced, "Oh no..."
"Attack!"
The balls shot out at a massively high velocity, only to be bounced back by Fox McCloud's reflector, bouncing it back...
... At an increased strength...
SLAM!
SLAM!
SLAM!
"Game! Set! Match!" Came the voice of the only one neutral to the competition: Hanzo Hasashi. "Team Exo-Earth, wins." He noticed that they had not even lost one of their teammates, and added "Flawless Victory!", Then he noticed the torn up armor on Iron Man, and the large bruises on Steve and Cloud, "Ohh, brutality."
"Ugh... Senzu bean please..." Tony groaned
Batman shuddered. He was hit by a ball that bounced off of Cloud and nearly snapped his back. He had flashbacks to Bane's crippling blow for weeks until Donkey Kong won his fight.
But enough on them, let's look at Zelda.
"Hmm... scrying, scrying, scrying..."
Zelda was having trouble, the section she was in was massive, and she had a feeling that she wasn't anywhere near as close to the scrying spells as she would like to be.
"Something I can help you out with?"
"Hmm?" Zelda looked around, and then found the source of the voice, "Oh! Beast. Thank you, I'm looking for a scrying spell, can you help me out?"
Beast chuckled, "Yes your majesty, I can."
Hank went towards the end of the shelves, and started using his hands and one of his feet to scan through the tomes at a rapid pace.
"Aha!" He exclaimed, "Here, is this what you were looking for your majesty?"
Zelda rolled her eyes, "Beast, I've told you, and several others, that the formality isn't really necessary. Calling me 'Zelda is just fine."
Beast smirked, "Well, I always like to be polite, but if you insist," He cleared his throat, "Is this what you were looking for Princess Zelda?" He held out the book, and had it opened to the page he figured Zelda was looking for.
'Good enough' Zelda thought to herself, "Yes, thank you Hank, this is exactly what I was looking for thanks." She exclaimed.
"Well, we can't all drink tea while reading philosophy." He shrugged.
"Odd thing to say, but nonetheless, we finally have a way to find out where Bowser is!"
"If it's Bowser you're looking for, I can help you find him."
Zelda paused for a moment, then turned to the mutant. "You mean to say," She growled out coolly, "That you knew where Bowser was the entire time," She clenched her fist, "AND YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?" She yelled.
"Princess, please. This is a library, keep your voice down. Secondly; I had only just found out you were looking for him, I had thought you wanted to find something else, which is why I got you the book that finds inanimate objects-"
"Wait, what?" Zelda looked at the title of the page she was on, How to find your lost stuff: Scrying for beginning mages. "...Oh." was her meek reply.
Mario, Luigi, Batman, and Zelda were heading towards the room where Beast had told them to go to, still planning their attack plan.
"I'm a-telling you: Throwing him out the window always a-works!" Mario argued.
"And I'm telling you, that you can't rely on the same damn tactic over and over again! We need a carefully planned out strategy!" Batman rebutted.
"By the time we come up with a plan, Bowser would have already a-kidnapped the princess!" The red plumber countered.
The quartet arrived at the door.
"Hey, uh does this look familiar to you?" Luigi asked in a low voice.
Zelda was the only one who heard him due to Mario and Batman still arguing over their plan, "Now that you mention it..."
"AHH!" A scream came from the other side of the door, causing Mario to turn his head towards it, and start charging in. Batman, with the knowledge that an innocent was in danger also charged. The two of them shoved the other two out of the way and busted the door down.
"ALRIGHT, CLAWS UP!" The two demanded, weapons and power-ups drawn...
... They were lowered when they saw Peach also with her hands up, and a stain on her dress.
"Uhh, I was about to get some SilkSpot for her dress, but can you get it for me?" He asked politely to the damsel in 'distress'.
"What." Mario and Batman said more than asked at the same time.
Peach sighed, "It's a long story..." She pondered for a bit, "Well, it's not that long, but it's a story." She corrected.
"So, let me get this straight," Batman began, "You invited Bowser of all people... Turtles... Dragons- Whatever." He waved off, "Over for some tea, and didn't tell anyone about it?"
"Well, he's actually a bit of a gentlemen." Peach replied awkwardly.
"Why'd he mess up the Italian section of the buffet then?" Mario asked, clearly more exasperated than angry.
"That?" Bowser asked, "That was from my skirmish with Hercule. He was taking a slice out of Peach's cake - And yes, I can tell when it's her cake - And I decided to stop him." Bowser explained.
"I was saving that for him. He's not that much of a villain, you know." Peach defended.
Batman sighed, "Alright, fine," He pointed to the pink princess, "But YOU have to keep him in line, okay?" He asked menacingly.
Peach gulped, but nodded.
Well," Luigi began, oblivious to Peach stopping Bowser from trying to claw at Batman, "I think that about wraps this up." He said in a cheerful voice.
Zelda paused, "I don't know..." She began, "I feel like there's something... missing."
"What could that be?" Bowser asked.
"WADE! STOP FORCING OUR FACES TOGETHER!" Came a loud, but familiar, voice.
"WHAT? BUT ZELDA SAID YOU TWO WERE DOING IT!" Came a certain mercenary's voice.
"WHAT?" Came the voice of a certain someone.
"WAIT! T! DON'T-" Yang's voice was cut off by an explosion, and the screams of pain coming from Wade's mouth.
"I'M COMING FOR YOU ZELDA! JUST BECAUSE LINK CAN DEFEND YOU FROM CLOUD, DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN DEFEND YOU FROM ME!"
Zelda paled, "Oh no..."
Cloud chose that moment to walk in, "Oh, there you are." He exclaimed, "I reserved a spot in the med-bay for you, and I have two dozen Senzu Beans ready for your recovery - Oh, hey, you found Bowser, cool! - But, I'd recommend you start running before she shatters your bones like she did with my eardrums." He warned.
Zelda was lucky enough that Bowser was as protective of Peach's friends as he was a Turtle-Dragon thing... Whatever.
And so ends Bowser is Missing! I hope you had fun with this mini-series, because I sure did.
Coming up next: What happens when an ineffectual villain crashes at the hero hotel?
Current Song scoring:
I kissed a Girl (Katy Perry) and Simple and Clean (Kingdom Hearts): 2
Everything else: 1
Get your requests in, along with which hero you want to see sing them soon, because the Karaoke contest will be being made soon. Hopefully, GoogleDocs will be working again for me by that point.
Disclaimer: The day I own ALL of these characters will be the day people stop raging over Goku vs. Superman... Or maybe never. But, I'll go with the first one, because that will last longer.
... Speaking of...
In another dimension...
The land was barren, the once proud castle that once stood there was in total ruins. There was a faint scent of molten rock in the air. In fact, there seemed to be stone that got turned to a gas somewhere. Knights armor were empty and scattered in a small piles, almost as if they were fighting some powerful foe. Its power still radiated throughout the land.
"So much destruction..."
"So many lives."
"Whatever this thing is, it's getting stronger for every world it eats... Speaking of, you have anything to eat?"
"Not now, buddy. But we can stop by that one dimension for a bite, I could go for something."
"I thought you didn't need to eat."
"Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it from time to time."
"Fair enough."
"Right. C'mon! We can't let it destroy everything."
"On my way Supes!"
"Glad to know you have my back Goku."
DUN DUN DUUUNNNN! And some people thought that 'off in another dimension' thing was a one-off gag. NOPE! Welcome to the subplot: Goku and Superman: The team-up of the millennia.- NO! The team-up of the eon. Stay tuned...
