"Ken's fighting next. Any ideas of who he's fighting?" Spider-Man asked.
"Not sure. I'm reading a couple forums, and there are some that are rooting for Blaziken for some reason." Dante replied.
Spidey thought for a moment, "Fire attacks?"
Dante shrugged, "I guess. One of the top picks is Sub-Zero though."
Despite the fact that only people with X-Ray vision could see it, Spidey rolled his eyes, "That feels like a stomp. If they really want to use a kombatant from that world, I'd go with Reptile. Both started as clones of the mascot, then they eventually got their own story and moveset."
"Ken. The guy who practically made the term 'Shotoclone.' Has his own moveset?" Dante asked condescendingly.
"Well, he's more combo-based if I remember right. More focused on the Shoryuken, rather than the Hadoken." The web-slinger recalled.
"Fair enough. He doesn't have as many combos as Ryu though." Dante shrugged.
"Yeah. I'm personally hoping that he'll be fighting Terry or Blaziken though. The others have swords, and in a fight, that reach can make a big difference in determining one's victory." Spidey thought aloud.
"Good point. But Ken has been able to perform a powerful Shoryuken despite being stabbed and slashed in several places on his body by Vega." Dante pointed out.
"Wait, was that in that one cartoon or something?"
"Yeah. Personal favorite part of mine, especially since he just got stabbed through the foot." Dante recalled.
"Well, I'm sold. I like his determination in the face of the odds." Spider-Man exclaimed.
"There's something else that you can also appreciate him for," Dante pointed out, "He was protecting his girlfriend during that- Where'd you go?"
"Be right back! Getting a 'Go Ken!' flag!" was the spider's voice that came from the hallway.
"And yet for some reason, Deadpool complains about some 'heartwarming' page or whatever." Dante muttered.
"Hey Lena…" Cammy started.
"Hm, yeah love?"
"Did… Did Boomstick ever comment on your…" Cammy cleared her throat, "assets?"
Tracer was busy trying to remember if there was ever a comment about her butt while Cammy was admonishing herself for using a pun that even Yang would groan at.
"Uhh, I don't think so."
Cammy was at a loss for words. "How old are you again?" Oh wait, no she wasn't.
"Twenty-Six, Cam'." Tracer answered, "You losing your memory or something?"
"Dear gods, it's the apocalypse. And not that blue dude who had a lackluster movie compared to Days of Future Past Apocalypse, the actual apocalypse that is the end of the world apocalypse." Cammy said with the thousand yard stare. Voice filled with fear.
*THUD!*
"What the 'ell… Hawkeye?"
"Sorry, I was practicing stealth training with Cap, and I overheard your conversation." He brushed himself off before grabbing Tracer's shoulders, "Are you absolutely positive that Boomstick didn't comment on your ass?" He asked with haste.
Tracer was confused to say the least, "Uh, yeah, I guess?" She answered hesitantly. Seeing two heroes react towards something as trivial as this was strange enough as it is, and she wanted to know why it was eliciting this kind of reaction.
"What's the deal with them?" Yang asked as she walked into the parlor to get some relaxing tea. She had taken to drinking more as part of her recommended therapy to deal with her… issues, and she found it enjoyable.
"They're all bloody nuts I tell you!" Tracer complained, "All I said was that that Bloom-stick bloke didn't comment on my butt, and they start acting as if it's the apocalypse or something."
"Well, Boomstick didn't comment on my appearance" Yang commented.
"Well, at least it's not that unusu-"
"Wait, you're not over eighteen, right?" Yang interrupted.
"No, I'm twenty-six, what does age have to do with the bloody guy, anyways?" Tracer said irritatingly.
Yang sighed, "He didn't comment on me or Toph because legally, he can't, and I quote: Tap Dat Ass." She said in her best Boomstick impersonation.
"You sounded like his granny when you did that." Tracer commented.
"I get that a lot," The blonde commented, "look. The point is, is that he didn't perv on you. The guy could barely make it through Cammy and T's rundowns without mentioning their butt and breasts respectively. It's basically unheard of around these parts that there's a rundown and he doesn't perv on an attractive girl." Yang explained.
"You think I'm attractive?"
Yang hung her head down low, "Of all the things I just explained to you," She took a deep breath, "THAT'S the thing you pick up on?"
"Eh, you're not my type anyways. I prefer snipers, personally." Lena shrugged.
"Okay, see? It's lines like that that make the fans want to see you in a relationship with Widowmaker." Yang complained.
"Oh, and your apathy towards the world and irritation to that Cat-Girl disappearing on you again doesn't make people ship you with her?" Tracer countered.
"To be honest," Yang pinched the bridge of her nose, "If it makes Wade stop trying to get me and T to make out, I'm fine." She said as she exited the room with her new tea container attached to her belt loop.
"Fair enough." Tracer agreed as she also walked out of the room.
Both were oblivious to the fact that Cammy and Clint were still quivering on the floor.
"Hey Scout."
"Yeah?"
Michelangelo gestured to a screen, "There are people who claim that there was something fishy with that fight of yours."
"O really, how?"
"Well, they claim that while avoiding a sniper is cool and all, hitting a wall makes it iffy."
"Using that logic, that means that Scout managing to survive being the rope in a tug-o-war is cool and all, but being beaten by the Spy, who is slower than him and used only a knife, makes it an outlier." Donatello replied, handing the Boston Brawler a slice of Chicago Deep-Dish Pizza.
"Ugh…"
"Can't forget how the hothead didn't actually outrun that train." Leonardo pointed out
"Now wait a moment you overgrown toitle! What do ya mean by di'n't outrun that train?" Scout pressed.
"You had a head start."
"You ran across the tracks just before it was going to turn you into paste."
"The train wasn't even at it's top speed at the time."
"Yer not even fast enough to dodge a damn rocket, how the hell are you fast enough to outrun a train?"
Those were the replies that Mikey, Leonardo, Donatello, and Raphael all pointed out in rapid succession.
"You had that prepared, di'n't you?" He deadpanned.
"Well…" Donnie, Mikey, and Leo rubbed the back of their heads.
"Yeah, we did. Donnie has an entire chart pointing out how your best feat that isn't iffy is how you killed a bear usin' a femur." Raphael replied.
"Raph!"
The cool but crude turtle turned towards the others, "What? It's true!"
"But don't tell him that!"
"What do you mean by 'it's an outliar'?"
"Like you haven't exaggerated your heart stopping or your organs spilling out before." Raph pointed out, "And being hanged for a few seconds is soo impressive." He mocked.
"I was thrown off the edge ya stupid fro- ACK!"
Raphael grabbed the merc by the throat, "Let's get one thing straight here, 'cuz your head ain't: I am a turtle. Try callin' me a frog, and I'll introduce ya to the sharp end of my sais." He growled, "Capiche?" he dropped him on the ground.
"Yeah yeah. Cap piece, or whatever. That broad wouldn't be so tough without that chronal… whatchamacallit or whatever."
"Chronal accelerator." Donnie supplied, "And to be fair, she'd be trapped outside of time if it weren't for that thing, so you're technically right."
"And I wasn't given my full arsenal! That broad got her full tech!" He whined.
"Can you even carry all that equipment at once?" Leonardo asked, (not-so) genuinely curious.
"Well, no. But-"
"Tracer's full arsenal is all that stuff she keeps on hand. Don't blame her for your creators making it so you couldn't carry everything." Leonardo interrupted.
The Scout merely grumbled in response.
Deadpool: You seem to be calling out Scout's fanbase a little more than usual here.
Like the Boston Blowhard isn't one who'd exaggerate injuries. He's a cocky, arrogant piece of crap, that I still have to write in a respectful manner, because I rely on the fans to get salty for me. Plus, I just found out that Ken is fighting that Terry guy from King of Fighters and I don't have the time to re-write this thing. I'm a little irritated at the moment.
Deadpool: Uh huh. And you've never been irritated beforehand?.
Well, I typically have someone to keep me calm. Right Alexis?
.
.
.
Alexis?
Deadpool: Where is she?
I dunno. Cover the disclaimer for me while I go look for her?
Deadpool; Yeah, sure. Ahem… HeOwnsEverything!HeClaimedItYesterday- *BANG!* Ack!
I found her Lone Star. And it still has bullets too! Useful for shooting a guy who's trying to get me sued.
Deadpool: Tch, figures. Thought that she's never that far away from that thing though.
Yeah, me too.
.
.
.
Me & Deadpool: Wait a sec!
Oh…
Deadpool: Shitbiscuts.
