A/N On The Universe: Okay this is kind of following cannon from the movie verse Conqueror of Shamballa. Where Ed and Alphonse are stuck in OUR world (Parallel world of earth) but instead of them being stuck in 1923, its 2013. AND they are in America, not Germany.
A/N On Reviews: I adore getting feedback and constructive criticism, but I do have one request to make. When commenting, please bear in mind that your comments and suggestions, both good and bad, are your opinion only, rather than (in general) a statement of fact. It is easy to accidentally insult or offend an author by sounding demanding and entitled in a written review, and I know that is never anyone's intention. By all means tell me if you think something seems a bit off, but give a moment's thought to how the tone of your review might be received. Thanks!
Rating Information - Rated "MA" overall due to scenes of an explicit or disturbing nature later on. Meaning Boy on boy, with incest dabbled into there. If you do not enjoy these types of stories, you may press the back button. But if you do enjoy this type of 'kink' then please stay put. Thing are about to get bumpy in here.
Warning: Mild language. Implied adult situation. Self pleasuring. Implied Incest. -you've-been-warned.-
Chapter 3: Say Something.
"B-Brother…"
Edward's heavy-lid eyes cracked open from sleep. Alphonse's breathy voice echoed through his fading dream. The edge of reality trickled in slowly as Ed's lashes blinked through his blurry vision. He felt over-heated, the sheets clung to his sweaty skin. He could feel his loose flowing hair sticking to his face and the back of his neck. The sweat was pooling under the long locks of yellow. It was uncomfortable and in Edward's sleepy mind he couldn't comprehend as to why it was out of the braid he normal slept in.
He was lounging on his back, his automail arm above his head and his flesh hand resting on his bare stomach. Ed groaned through the sticky feeling coating his skin. Moving his limb from the pillow above his head, he ran his mechanical fingers over his face. Even the metal from his hand felt tepid to the touch.
The morning light was peeking through the cracks of the window with the annoying sun arms stretching through the room and lighting it ablaze. With another groan Edward rolled onto his side away from the window. His tired eyes landed on the resting form of his little brother.
"Al…" Edward was instantly awake. Memories of last night finally caught up in his hazy sleep ridden mind…
Alphonse laid out before him, all that creamy, perfect flesh exposed for his own greedy pleasure. Those hazel eyes full of innocence staring so trustingly back into the face of a devil.
'Fuck.' Edward sat up with that thought coursing through his mind. The pale blankets slipped from his body as it pooled around his naked hips.
'W-what have I done?' The elder Elric questioned himself. The answer was laying exposed and asleep next him. It left a realization coursing under his skin… 'I'd fucked my little brother.'
Edwards - miss matched - hands fell into his lap as he stared down towards them blindly. 'I hadn't been thinking straight, I was so angry that Al was talking to that dick-bag, I simply lost it. I hadn't been thinking…'
"Fuck me." Ed whispered under his breath.
Looking over his shoulder, he gazed back towards his sleeping brother. Alphonse was laying on his stomach, the blankets spread across the arch of his lower back. The swell of his ass a perfect mound hidden beneath the fabric. The soft length of his brother milky back laid out before him, he traced the skin greedily with his eyes. Edward followed the lines of Al's body until he came to his brother's arms tucked under the white pillow Alphonse's head was resting on.
Edward chuckled quietly to himself; Al's face was pressed awkwardly into the pillow as he slept.
It stirred a warm, fond emotion in his chest. A memory of the first night they spent together in this new world. It was that night Edward realized everything was actually going to be alright as he watched his brother sleeping next to him.
Amestris had been saved with everyone Edward and Alphonse had known on that side of the portal, locked in an alternate universe with the gate sealed forever shut.
There were times, though, Edward wished his brother would have stayed behind like he'd told him to do. It would have been easier, safer, for Al to stay where he would've had a support group.
In hindsight the plan had been foolproof, but honestly would've never worked. How could Edward be angry at his little brother for wanting to stay with him? 'If I'd been in Al's shoes, I would've done the same thing.' The older blonde couldn't imagine living without Alphonse ever again. Even if their relationship had taken a turn into taboo jurisdiction as of last night.
'That's not the entire reason, though, is it, Edward?' Ed's inner voice whispered wickedly into his ear.
The voice was true. It wasn't the only reason he couldn't be angry towards Alphonse for disobeying his order.
The first time Edward's eyes landed on Alphonse's soft human face during the last fight under central city, Ed had felt a kick to the pit of his stomach.
'Al has his body back. It's real. Al's real. Our sacrifice worked. He's alive!'
Edward could have died from happiness. Within moments Ed knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life getting Alphonse to smile like that again.
If Ed had to decide the exact moment he realized his love for his brother was more than it should be, it would be that instant, the first smile he'd seen on Alphonse's - living, breathing, human - face since they were children.
And then towards the end of the fight; when Ed had made his mind up about closing the portal from the other side. The moment when Edward stood on the burning air-ship and Alphonse with Mustang on the plane. The large gap of air between them. Edward knew he would never see his brothers perfect smile again. Ed swore to himself - right then and there - he would never love again like he loved Alphonse.
Then Al was there beyond the portal on the other side, his head poking out of that similar suit of armor he'd worn for years. Living, breathing, existing and suddenly pressed so tightly into his brother's embrace. They were home because they were together. Everything was perfect, or at least for the moment they thought it to be.
Edward kept his odd attraction covet regretfully to his chest, not wanting to burden Alphonse with something so perverted. They continued life as normal brothers. He never mentioned or let his dark-disgusting feelings get in the way of loving Alphonse fully as his overprotective older brother.
Alphonse will always be his little brother first most. The only family they had were each other and Ed would never destroy what little they both had. They already sacrificed greatly; they couldn't lose one another. This was the mantra that got Edward through the worst of his… taboo cravings.
'He's your little brother. Your brother.'
Then suddenly a couple months ago thing between the two males grew cold and distant. Edward was at a loss with understanding what was behind the reason of Alphonse's withdrawal. His little brother had been keeping something from him, this Edward was sure of, but Al wouldn't budge and kept saying everything was alright. No matter how many times Edward insisted, Alphonse would deny anything was wrong.
Something was upsetting Alphonse and it was causing the younger male to retreat from Edward. It hurt. Plain and simple, it was hurtful.
So when Edward found a phone number on his brother's palm; a number from another guy - Alphonse was obviously supposed to call and set a date up - Edward just lost it.
All his pent up anger and frustration came out in an act of desperation, and at the first graze of his lips on Al's baby soft mouth, Edward knew one touch would never be enough.
A sigh blew through the older Elric as he gazed over his shoulder at his sleeping brother. All pale and long limbs. A subtle ache started in his gut as his eyes grazed over his brothers exposed flesh. With shaking hands Edward stroked his hands through Alphonse's loose, dark blond locks, maneuvering them to the side to expose Al's lengthy neck.
Edward inhaled sharply at the sight before him. Alphonse's neck was covered in dark - noticeable - hickeys.
They were large purple splotches and smaller ones running the length of his throat to just under the younger man's ear.
A possessive emotion passed through Edward chest right before he squashed it and then the remorse settled in. Everything between them was already so screwed. This would only add more fuel to the already burning fire, 'I left evidence of our sin on his skin.'
None of this was ever supposed to happen. 'But it was happening…'
Another frustrated grunt passed through his nose.
Throwing the blankets back, Edward stumbled out of bed, having decided to go for a morning run to settle is racing mind. Everything was so jacked up and Edward only had his lack of willpower to blame.
It was well past ten o'clock when Alphonse opened his bleary eyes. He was freezing, his body trembling with bouts of shivers. He could feel the chill straight to his bones. There was a deep ache in his back and thighs and the cold was only making it throb worse.
Moaning loudly, Al tried to curl in on himself under the thin blanket. He felt horrible. Everything hurt.
'Too early for this…' the boy thought trying to bury himself further into the mattress. Grabbing blindly for the extra pillow on the other side of the bed, Alphonse pressed the fluffy fabric into his face.
The heavy scent of his brother caught his senses until he was left gagging on the overpowering sillage. 'The aroma of sandalwood, sweat and traces of motor oil from brother's automail limbs.'
The memories of last night rushed to the front of Alphonse's sleepy mind. The unadulterated movement of his brother's body moving over… i-in…into him.
He sat up quickly, hugging the pillow to his panting chest, his fingers digging unnoticeable into the white fabric, hazel eyes blown wide in self horror. His heart beat quickened to a sickening pace, when the realization of what he had done finally sank into his soul.
"OhMyGod."
The blush on Alphonse cheeks reddened as more memories flashed their way into the present. It was too much. He suddenly felt unbelievably ill. His stomach churning with an unwavering sense of disgust as his mouth filled with sour saliva.
Throwing the covers back while ignoring his nudity, Al made a mad dash for the bathroom adjacent to his room. He barely made it to the porcelain toilet before throwing himself to his knees and emptying his already vacant stomach.
Alphonse gagged on the idea of what they had done. He wretched at every memory of his brother's hands sliding over his skin. His stomach twisted and turned in on itself with empty dry-heaves. Alphonse had no more to give. Everything had already been taken from him, but his body demand a higher penance for his committed sin.
His gut churned and curled, his throat gagged and choked, and his soul screamed for redemption. Tears gushed down his face leaving wet streaks painting his burning cheeks.
After an eternity of letting his forehead rest on the cold lip of the toilet Alphonse's stomach settled enough for him to stand up on shaky legs.
His vision swirled as he rose to height. His left hand found support on the wall as he squeezed his wet eyes closed. The hot tears continuously streamed down his face. The feeling of shapeless emotion battled inside the boy's soul.
'Regret.'
It was the only word that could signify what Alphonse was experiencing. The picture linked together as the realization settled in like the missing puzzle pieces. Edward and Alphonse would never be the same. Their relationship dynamic changed within the span of one bad… scratch that… corrupt decision. They would never be just brothers ever again.
It was this thought alone that sent a cold knot of numbness into Alphonse's heart.
"Brother…" Al whispered to no one when a wave of nausea breezed through him like a wind shaking the branches on a flimsy tree. His hand that was not supporting him on the wall gripped at his angry stomach.
His skin was itchy. Dreadfully itchy.
He was ached in places he'd rather not think about.
But he couldn't find an ounce of care within himself.
He was numb and disoriented. He was alone and suddenly the walls were coming in on him. Alphonse gasped for his breath, but his lungs refused to work. Hot tears flooded his hazel eyes as a silent cry of anguish raked through his body.
'If mother was alive and she found out what we'd done, she would be… mortified.'
It was a thought best left untouched.
'Did Brother feel regret as well?'
As soon as that question was out in the open, the rest of the boy's doubt came tumbling down the mountain heights.
'Where is Edward?'
Now Alphonse was asking himself the right question. Edward hadn't been there when Al had first woken up. The sheets were long since cold by the time the younger boy had awoken. A knot of doubt touched Alphonse's stomach.
'If brother wasn't there, when had he left?'
The realization of everything bounced back and forth inside Al chaotically. So many question being asked at the same time. It was overwhelming.
Lost within his thoughts the young man dragged himself into a lukewarm shower. The tepid water washed away the feeling of their sin from his skin. 'Please— wash away my thoughts…'Alphonse thought wrapping his hands around his midsection. 'I don't want to think anymore…'
Al tipped his chin up and let the water flow over his tear soaked face. The feeling of warmth running over his body was soothing and welcoming. It wasn't soon after this that Alphonse realized how dirty he truly was. His skin on his stomach was caked with dry flaky semen, he scrapped at it with his fingernail and was thoroughly disgusted as some of it crusted off.
He reached for his mint scented body wash on the side of the tub. Pouring a copious amount into the palm of his hand, Al began washing.
Alphonse scrubbed until his flesh turned an angry red color and then he scrubbed a little more because that's how gross he felt. He wasn't satisfied until every inch of skin had thoroughly been washed. Then he stood under the spray watching the soothing water disappearing down the metal bath drain. It was hypnotic, the way the water ran off his body and swirled around the grate at the bottom of the white tub. I know it sounds meaningless, but it gave Alphonse something to focus on rather than the constant guilt looping in his chest.
It could have been hours, or merely minutes, but by the times Alphonse climbed out of the shower he was completely numb inside and out. His stomach had stopped violently churning, his gag reflex was relaxed, and the amount of saliva in his mouth was reduced. This didn't mean Al wasn't feeling like utter shit. His lower back ached like nobody's business and so did his throat from all the dry heaving.
Reaching for the white towel hanging on the hook his right, Alphonse dried off quickly before wrapping the white, damp towel around his waist. His long blond hair leaked large droplets of water down his back and arms. Ignoring his hair for the moment, Al moved towards the counter top and sink. He wiped a hand across the mirror, leaving a wet dotted streak in the steam.
The person in mirror was almost unrecognizable. Alphonse took in his grey skin, heavy bags under his eyes, and dry chapped lips, but it was his dull hazel eyes that stared back in a lifeless haze, which made him look away from his reflection. He felt disgusted with himself. He didn't like the person he could see in the mirror.
Al sucked in a wet breath through his mouth. It almost hurt to breathe. He drug a hand through his wet bangs as they fell into his eyes.
'Get yourself together, Alphonse.' The boy thought, letting his eyes roll back towards the mirror. A purple splotch on the arch of his throat caught his attention. Tipping his head to the side, Alphonse brushed his wet hair off his neck and shoulders.
"Holy…" 'hell.'
Dark hickeys decorated his pale skin. Alphonse watched the blush slipping onto his cheeks in the mirror's reflection. He brought a shaking hand up to his neck but at the last moment decided against touching the skin there. Instead the blond clenched his hand into a fist and turned away from the mirror with tears stinging his eyes.
'Sick; sick; sick.'
In a blind hurry Alphonse ripped the door open and hurried through it. Unexpectedly he ran face first into a bare, sweaty chest.
"Hell, Alphonse…" Edward grumbled looking down towards his little brother. "Watch where you're going."
Side stepping the taller male without looking up, Alphonse mumbled an apology and made a mad dash towards his bedroom without looking back towards Edward, who was left standing in the hall way.
The door slammed at his back and Al sagged down onto the hard wood behind him. His heart felt like it was going to explode from his chest at any given moment. The shell of numbness he'd carefully constructed around himself in the shower peeled open like an over boiled egg. The guilt was starting to leak through again. Taking a deep even breath, Alphonse tried to compose himself.
The pathetic part, Alphonse realized leaning against the door, was the fact buried beneath all that looping guilt, he still felt aroused in his brothers presence.
Those few seconds of Alphonse pressing into Ed's sweaty chest was all it took for Al's body to respond.
Despite it being so very, very wrong, Alphonse was hard and aching beneath his towel. A crooning sound tickled the back of Al's throat and his hand ducked under the white fabric slung around his hip. His hand tightened around his cock. It was hot and heavy resting in his palm. He moaned again as he rubbed along his swollen gland. Visions of his brother's sweaty body moving over him sparked white trickles up the boy's spine.
Alphonse never allowed himself the pleasure of masturbating to thoughts of his older brother. Before, Al thought it had been wrong, sick, to think of ones family in such a sexual way. Even if they would never know about the act of defilement- and it was still that; a defilement of the other person's respect.
But now that a distinct line had been crossed between the two brothers, Alphonse stroked his ridged length without an ounce guilt for doing so.
This was something he should have been ashamed of, but the forbidden desire only fueled the boy's emotions. Flashes of pleasure rippled down Alphonse's spine and straight through to the hardness in his palm.
At some point the towel slid down the boy's body as it pooled around Al's bare feet. He ignored it and instead pictured Edward on his knees before him, his arousal disappearing behind his brother's plump lips and into the back side of Ed's throat. Al bit his bottom lip to keep from crying out as the pictures assaulted him.
It was all too much. He bit into his flesh until he could taste metal on his tongue. The throaty moan was begging to escape. Alphonse's hand continued to stroke himself vigorously, the picture of his brother gagging on his cock painted the inside of the boy's eyelids.
'Br-brother's just down the hall.' His fist gave a tightening squeeze at that thought. '…he might hear me.' Al's throat stuck and his heart skipped a beat. His blond head knocked back against the door, white hot pleasure rocketing through Alphonse at the thought of Edward hearing him masturbating. It didn't mean Al was going to moan like a whore either.'I' did enough of that last night.' Al's entrance clenched at the memory of being spread open for Edward and he finally did cry out as he came riding on that mental alone. His knees turned to rubber and as he caved under his weight Al slid down the door.
He sat there with a heaving chest, looking down at the mess he'd made on the floor. White translucent liquid smeared across the hardwood. It made Alphonse chuckle; it was a broken sort of laugh, the kind that could easily turn into a bout of tears if he allowed himself to. The whole situation was fucked up.
Alphonse felt confused. His body was telling him one thing, while his brain told him another. Everything that was deemed right was upside down, while everything wrong was right-side up. It was confusing to say the least. Especially to someone like Alphonse, who was still – even after seven years in his human body - trying to rationalize how emotions work.
The laughter died down as the guilt started to seep in. Al knew family shouldn't feel this way for one another. It was blatantly obvious that it was morally wrong. '...but it felt so right…' Al thought with a sigh as he stood up onto shaky legs. He bit at his sore lip while looking down at his mess on the floor. He dropped the towel down onto the white fluid caking to the wood.
With another despondent exhale Alphonse set about getting dressed.
It was about an hour later when there was a knock at his bedroom door.
Alphonse was sitting on his bed reading; he'd been trying to not leave his bedroom for anything. He wasn't ready to confront his brother. Al thought at the time it was the best idea to stay in his room. 'And hide like a coward,' Alphonse thought with a sneer to himself. Now he was second guessing himself.
There was another knock. The butterflies in Al's stomach kicked into overdrive. The fluttering was leading Alphonse to the brink of throwing up again. He knew who was on the other side of that door and he wasn't ready to deal with reality of it yet.
Al ignored the third knock, feigning sleep.
'Thankfully I'd locked the door.'
The fourth knock was a lot hard then the first three. It was also followed by the demanding voice of an annoyed older brother.
"Alphonse, I know you're in there!"
Al set his book down in his lap with a dreary sigh.
"What do you want Edward?"
Edward's response sounded muffled through the wooden door. "For you to answer the door when I knock."
Alphonse worried his bottom lip with his teeth. Deciding it would probably be easier if he just open the door for Edward, Al reluctantly stood and strode to the door. He unlatched the lock and returned to his spot of his bed. Al picked up his book, squared his shoulders, and spoke loud enough so his brother could hear him through the wood.
"It's open," He said with a sigh.
When Edward strolled in, Alphonse buried his nose in his textbook. He had decided earlier he'd just ignore everything that happened last night. Play it stupid, so he wouldn't have to be embarrassed in front of his older brother.
Neither man said anything at first, the silence stretching on and beyond.
It was Ed who spoke up first in a soft voice. "Are you hungry? It's about dinner time."
A grunt of acknowledgement, which sounded more like something that normally Edward would respond with, came out of Alphonse as he buried his nose further into his book.
It went on like that for a few minutes; with Edward asking a question and barely getting a response from Alphonse. It wasn't until Edward sat down on the bed and reached a hand out to touch Alphonse's shoulder that the older of the two got a response.
Alphonse leaped off the bed in a blur of motion and was on the opposite side of the room in a blink of eye. Edward sat there on the edge of the bed, dumbfounded looking at the empty space where Alphonse had just been.
Al watched his brothers jaw twitch in agitation. He knew the signs of Edward being pushed too far. What Alphonse wasn't expecting (and he should have been considering how blunt his brother could be) was Edward to come right out and throw their dirty secret into the limelight.
"Fucking hell. Alphonse…" Edwards flesh hand ran through his bangs before speaking again. "We need to talk about this."
Alphonse swallowed thickly as he turned away from Ed to set his textbook on his desk. He tried to keep his cadence even without letting his nerves show in his voice as he feigned ignorance.
"Talk about what, brother?"
There was a burning in Al's cheeks form calling Edward 'brother' but he pushed the thought aside and busied himself with straightening his desk up. 'When had it become so cluttered?' Edward stood from the bed; Alphonse knew this because the squeaking springs of his rundown mattress sounded in the air. Al could feel the heat of his brother at his back even with the few inches separating them.
"About what happened last night?"
Al felt his inside bursting with fireworks. Like his veins were coursing with bubbling champagne. On the outside though, he was playing indifferent.
"Oh," Was Alphonse's answer as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
Edward's hands came to rest on Alphonse shoulders, and the younger of the two flinched away from the touch as if it had burnt. Alphonse moved back towards his bed, his back still facing towards Edward. Tears were threatening to fall but Al willed them away, not wanting Ed to see him break down.
"Alphonse..." Edward whispered Al's name like a prayer. It made Alphonse's inside twist with self-loathing and guilt. But it was what his brother spoke next which broke his solid reserve."…Why won't you let me touch you?"
Al bit his lip so he wouldn't have to answer. His words failed him as they stuck in throat. 'Because this is wrong… so very wrong.'
"Al, p-please talk to me." Edward's voice shook with uncertainty. Alphonse could hear it clear as birds singing in spring but he remained quiet with his shoulders slumping downwards in defeat.
There was a pregnant pause filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing.
"Did I hurt you last night, Alphonse?" Edward uttered out.
Al whipped around wide-eyed without thinking.
"No!" he declared almost franticly.
Edward's face was contorted in obvious pain; the sight of it echoed into Alphonse chest.
"Then what is it…" Ed insisted looking into Al's bright innocent eyes. Alphonse couldn't take the emotion he was seeing in Edward's yellow, yellow gaze. His eyes dropped down towards the wooden floor. The guilt was swirling with a chaotic intent.
"Do you regret it?" Edwards asked a moment later.
Alphonse's brain screamed 'yes' but his heart disagreed.
"N-no." he stuttered out towards the floor.
"Then what?" Ed insisted, taking a step in Alphonse's direction.
It must have been the emotion displayed on the younger blonde's face as he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head back and forth. Alphonse was trying to expel all his thoughts out with the rapid motion. Edward must have cleared the distance between them, for in the next moment Edward reached out and cupped Alphonse's cheeks with his miss matched hands.
"Alphonse, please. Talk to me."
The younger boy's glassy eyes locked onto his older brother's, "D-D-Did you create me like this?" Al's words broke as he spoke them.
Edward's eyebrows pinched with confusion, "W-what? What are you talking about Alphonse?"
The one question Al had been dying to ask ever since returning to his human body. It was now out in the open between the brothers.
Had Edward somehow formed these twisted emotions into Alphonse during the Human transmutation? Could this all be lead back to the derivative of Ed's feelings for his little brother? It made sense, Alphonse couldn't remember ever experiencing this way back when his soul was locked away in that suit of armor. The only thing the younger Elric could remember feeling back in those days was a sense of honor and duty to fulfill the journey of finding the philosopher's stone and return their bodies to normal.
Alphonse almost forgot how it actually felt to feel love inside that clunky metal armor. When his body was returned because of Edward's selfless sacrifice, all those emotion he'd been missing for all those years came rushing back.
Al loved his brother, but he never realized maybe Edward was IN love with him.
Edward was left speechless. Alphonse watched the emotions flickering back and forth in his older brother's eyes. Confusion, remorse, love, denial, and then guilt settled in and filled Edward's eyes with a dreadful gleam.
It was an unfriendly look, the kind Alphonse had only ever seen his brother express when they were talking about their father.
Al swallowed around the intensely overwhelming sensation growing in the back of his throat.
"Is that what you think of me?" Ed spoke in an angry growl with the sense of doom gathering quickly. Edward's hands dropped away from Alphonse's face and he turned towards the door, obviously demoralized.
Alphonse tried to stop him but the damage had already been done. When the door slammed shut, Alphonse knew he'd just made everything so much worse.
The front door opened and then slammed closed with Edward leaving the apartment.
Only then did Alphonse allow himself to break down and cry himself into a river of despair.
'What have I done?'
To be continued...
Everything you are.
I look up to everything you are.
My vision of clarity.
I've loved you for so long.
My song of familiarity.
I believe in you.
Even when you didn't ask me to.
I found my prosperity with you.
A river of hope, flowing endlessly.
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