Rating Information - Rated "M" overall due to scenes of an explicit or disturbing nature later on. Meaning Boy on boy, with incest dabbled into there. If you do not enjoy these types of stories, you may press the back button. But if you do enjoy this type of 'kink' then please stay put. Thing are about to get bumpy in here.
Warning: Language. Time lapse (1 week). Implied incest. Typos. Grammar errors. Don't hate me. I'm wincing so hard I can't see to type.
One of the first things Alphonse came to understand about his new body after his human transmutation; it now needed sustenance to survive.
It was a weird thought for Alphonse, considering food for the longest time had been out of his reach. It was a subject that Al didn't have a single inclination towards, it practically fell into the area of 'taboo' for him. Any and all thoughts of consumption had always turned to ash on his nonexistent tongue.
It was only after his human transformation that he realized how important eating was to a normal, living, breathing human being.
Sure, there had been plenty of times when he was still trapped inside the clunky armor that Alphonse had dreamed about the things he'd eat after his body was revived. That list grew and morphed as the years progressed with Alphonse still locked inside the metal suit.
It was one of the many reason Alphonse indulged his brother with rich treats of pastry's and sweets on their voyages looking for the red stone. Selfishly, Alphonse wanted to observe Edward's enjoyment for something that was sinfully delicious but Al couldn't have. Alphonse lived vicariously through Ed for many years.
By the third year of existing inside the armor Alphonse had virtually forgotten how anything tasted, or even how butter cooked bread smelt fresh out of the oven. Soon enough Al forgot how the sun felt on his skin, or water trickling over his shoulders on a hot summer day. The feeling of Mother's embrace... His human senses were stripped till he was almost barren of his humanity.
It all changed the day his brother sacrificed his life for Alphonse. The moment Al was revived and all the dust settled from the aftermath, he took a moment to look around and realized the Elric brothers accomplished the impossible. Alphonse's body, his humanity was his to own again! Ergo, so were his other humans needs and hunger was one of the many things he was thankful to have back!
Granny had always said the Elric boys could eat anyone out of house and home, and Alphonse proved that upon his awakening. It was like reemerging from the water after being under for too long; the first breathe of air is always the sweetest.
Alphonse eyes were large and his stomach greater, he wanted to try everything in eye sight.
Ice cream;
pickles;
pie;
cookies;
sandwiches;
cake;
beef-stroganoff; (even though he didn't like it.)
Granny's stew;
Anything and everything needed to be tried at least once.
Steak and potato;
Chicken and rice;
Fish and chips;
Lollipops;
taffy;
chocolate;
donuts!
The list was endless.
There was one thing held in esteem above all the rest. Even though Alphonse first experience with it ended terribly, it still was, till this very day, his favorite food. Strangely enough it was a piece of fruit. Mind you it was not just any type but a tropical fruit and like most tropical fruits; pineapples are extremely circuitry and shouldn't be eaten in large doses. Otherwise as most know, you'll end up with a tongue that feels like you've been licking gravel nonstop with a mouth full of cotton. It's uncomfortable to say the least.
No one told this to poor Alphonse, forgoing and eating the whole yellow fruit in one sitting. At the time Al had no willpower over food, it was thrilling in its own way! Not being able to eat and suddenly a whole smorgasbord appeared and you could eat anything and everything… And from the first bite of tangy yellow flesh, Alphonse had been hooked. By the time Winry and Gran discovered him in the backyard covered in sticky juice, it had already been too late. Alphonse's mouth and tongue were already red-raw sore and he was starting to complain about it.
Alphonse learned that day some things in life are better left severed in smaller doses.
It should've been a lesson he came to understand all those years ago. Not to take something for granted just because it seems harmless. Apparently he was a glutton for punishment, because Alphonse craved for some (or any) kind of attention from his brother. Be it good, or even bad... Al was yearning for the interaction.
The week since their unmentionable moment in Alphonse's bedroom passed in a blink of a misty eye. The bruises lining Al's wrist healed, the marks on his neck faded but the wounds made upon his soul wouldn't heal.
Edward's withdrawal had seen to that.
He was ignoring Alphonse like the black plague. Avoiding all eye contact and disappearing off to god-knows-where in the middle of the night. It was all driving Alphonse up the walls with worry, and don't even mention the guilt; it was trifling to the boy. Alphonse wasn't even technically angry with Edward for what happened. Just in the fact Ed was now avoiding him and that's what hurt the worst. The distance between them, the gorge that kept growing larger and larger every day the brother's didn't speak. They needed to talk, and they needed to do it soon. Alphonse knew this, understood a confrontation was the only way out of this mess and it should be sooner rather than later.
Alphonse couldn't accomplish anything if Edward was never home, and honestly, it felt like Ed was planning it out this way. Leaving the apartment fifteen minutes before his brother returned from school or where ever he's been.
It was maddening, the dance Edward was taking to avoid Alphonse. It was no mere quiescence, not with the amount of effort it took Edward to steer clear of him entirely. Their apartment wasn't big enough, there had to be a carefully thought through plan to avoid someone in such close corridors. The amount of distance Edward was giving Alphonse was noticeable and it hurt the youngest Elric to no end.
This morning was no different, as Alphonse's bedroom door opened he heard the front door slam shut. The mere sound of the air displacement as the door closed sent Alphonse spiraling into a deeper depression.
'Another morning spent alone,' the boy thought bitterly, trudging into the kitchen for his morning cup of tea. It was the only thing he'd been able to stomach as of late. The thought of food was something Al would rather not have to think about... His gut was already churning from the left over aroma of Edward's fried eggs and bacon still lingering in the kitchen. Grimacing Al opened the only window in the small kitchen, trying to get rid of the nauseating smell. This is when his eye's landed on a single pineapple sitting on the counter.
Alphonse stared at the fruit, not understand how it came to sit perched next to the fridge. He hadn't bought it, I haven't been to the grocery store in ages... How did this get here? It wasn't like Edward went to the store and got it, he doesn't even like pineapple... only I do...
Amidst his thoughts Alphonse reached out to touch the green leaves sprouting out the top of the spiky fruit. His fingers grazed the rubbery leaves as he mindlessly grabbed one and pulled. It slipped out effortlessly, deeming it was ripened enough to eat. Alphonse looked down at the leaf in his hand as he clicked his tongue, did Brother get this for me? Was he thinking about me...? Because I thought he wasn't. He's been avoiding me...
Shaking his head, Alphonse moved away from the fruit and tossed the leaf into the garbage on the other side of the fridge before moving about to finishing making his tea. In the back of his mind he couldn't stop thinking about the pineapple on the counter-top behind him and what the implication of it sitting there meant.
Brother, are you thinking of me?
He was still thinking about the fruit as he walked into class a couple hours later. Taking a seat in the back, Al's mind was so wrapped up in his own business that he didn't notice who he was sitting down next to.
It could have been the fact Alphonse wasn't realizing his surroundings, or Reese dyed his hair a dramatic shade of black. One of the two reason, but Al was absorbed in his own world. Reese noticed Alphonse sitting down though, watching the boy entering the room and making his way over towards the back of the class.
"Hey..."
The voice to Al's right startled him out of his pensive state... Turning his head he noticed a dark haired individual staring at him from three seats over. It took a moment for the face to click in Alphonse's mind, but when it did he felt his cheeks darken in a blush... The bright green eyes clued him into who it was.
"Reese, oh! H-hi. I didn't notice you." Al stuttered looking down at his hands in his lap.
The last time they spoke everything had been left at an awkward moment. Reese basically called Alphonse out for being a liar and Al had cried like a mad person before tucking tail and running.
Because running always solves the problem... Al thought cringing inwardly at the memory.
Alphonse heard Reese give a breathy laugh, "Yeah. I changed my hair. A play right out of your playbook."
The sound of clothes brushing on plastic and the displacement of air signified Reese standing and moving the three spaces over towards Alphonse. Al sat ridged in his blue chair, not having the courage to look up from his hands.
There was silence stretching between them as Reese settled in, before the other man sighed deeply.
"Look Alphonse," Reese's hand landed on Alphonse's knee. He was trying to get Al to look upwards. It worked as Alphonse's eyes widened and darted towards Reese's open face. The other man smiled, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. A flutter of unwonted longing touched at Al's stomach, before he let his eyes drift off into the distance, over the other man's shoulder.
Reese let go of Al's thigh while continuing to speak, "I know we didn't leave off on the best terms... and I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have pried... It wasn't my place to do so..."
Al's eyes whipped back to Reese face, he was still smiling that gut wrenching grin. The one that made Alphonse's knees weak and his heart ache in his chest. He didn't know what to say... Al's mouth was dry with confusion... It didn't stop him from opening his mouth like an idiot and something moronic falling out.
"I-I..."
The professor walked into the class and Al's mouth snapped shut. Turning his attention to the front of the room. He was still at a loss for words. Saved by the teacher... Alphonse thought with luck coursing in his veins. He knew he had to reply, Reese was still watching him, waiting for him to confirm his apologies...
"Can we talk after class?" Al questioned quietly. Class was starting, they didn't have enough time to talk about things at the moment. He received another smile and a nod from Reese before the man turned to his own notebook and started listening to lecture.
Forty-five minutes later, class was over. Everyone was packing their notes and papers into their bags. Alphonse realized he was going to have to talk to Reese. Butterfly's erupted in his stomach. He still didn't know how to approach the topic of how they left things off. Al knew he'd acted a fool towards Reese's prying about the ring of hickeys on his neck. How could I tell him, when I can't even tell him who they're from... let alone tell him how I got them from my brother. Sick; sick; sick...
The backpack in Al's hands slipped from his fingers at his rapidly spinning thoughts... The content spewing everywhere. Papers and notebooks. Textbooks and pens went flying, scattering to the ground.
"Fuck!" Al exclaimed dropping to his knees to gather his belongings.
A chuckle overhead drew Alphonse's attention upwards. Bright green eyes stared towards him.
"So the prodigal son, does curse!" Reese joked playfully as he smiled, kneeling down to lend a helping hand.
"What does that even mean?" Al snorted picking up his notebook and shoving it in his bag.
"It means; I didn't think you could actually swear." Another cocky smile.
"Everyone curses from time to time-."
"-You didn't let me finish..." Reese interrupted slyly, "It also means; I think you're cute when you do so..."
Alphonse stopped mid motion picking up a pen, a mantra of 'Oh shit' ripping through his mind.
"Reese, I..." Still looking towards the blue pen sitting on the ground. He didn't get a chance to finish.
"I know, I know... You're off limits. I get it. Doesn't mean I can stop trying..." The edge of a notebook nudged into Alphonse hands, Al followed the line up towards Reese face. He looks so different with darker hair... Al thought mindlessly. Not so much like brother...
Alphonse could feel the heat gathering in his cheeks from that thought... What the fuck is wrong with me. Ripping the book out of Reese's hand, Al shoved it into his bag and stood.
"Thanks for your help. I have to-"
"Get coffee with me?"
The abrupt question stopped Alphonse in his steps, an 'I can't...' on the tip of his tongue.
Reese laughed, showing his white teeth in a cat like grin. "Not like that, Al. Just a cup of coffee between friends..."
Alphonse felt confused, isn't he supposed to still be angry with me?
"Aren't you angry with me still?"
"Nope." Reese gave a deep sigh and squared Alphonse with a look, "Listen, friends argue. Don't let it get you down. We've squashed, right?"
The smaller male nodded, still not totally convinced.
"Then we are good." Swinging an arm around Alphonse's slim shoulders the two boys left campus walking three blocks to the nearest coffee shop.
It just happened the closest coffee shop was connected to the local bookshop. After getting their coffees, the two men wandered the aisle. They chit-chatted for a few minutes pointing out favorite's books and genre they both liked to read. When they happened to stumble into the fantasy section and by some weird occurrence it was both their favorite. They started talking about novels they'd read, Reese pointed out Lord of the Rings and the debates were on.
"...If you're going there, Reese. You're saying, *Balrog are shrouded in a living supernatural darkness that spread around him like wings? Tolkien was just talking about their actual shadows on the ground.
"That's absolute rubbish, Balrog so have wings! Tolkien describes the Balrog as casting a dark shadow that 'reached out like two vast wings', but then in the next paragraph he plainly states, 'its wings were spread from wall to wall.' Balrogs' have wings, not supernatural shadows, but actual wings!"
"...then why didn't it fly away as it fell with Gandalf?"
"Who's saying it didn't! It never showed it! Besides that's movie verse."
Alphonse laughed into the brim of his coffee cup. Licking his lips of the sugar, he placed the cup back to the table. "You're taking what Tolkien said way too literal. When he referred to the Balrog 'wings' he was talking about a metaphor of the Balrog's shadow it's casting in the passage and how large it appeared."
"No! He's referring to the Balrog's flesh-and-blood wings blocking the passage!"
Chuckling again Alphonse shook his head in disagreement. In their heated discussion the two men had migrated over towards the area designated for cafe patrons. They had been sitting and discussing Lord of The Rings for quite a while now. Al's cheeks were beginning to ache from smiling from Reese's wild antics of explaining things.
Al could (at the least) admit to himself Reese was a lot of fun to be with. The other man was helping Alphonse to forget about his worries and fears. There was never a pause in the conversation and if there was, it was never awkward and stagnate. The two of them had a lot in common. It was startling how much they both shared. The more they talked, the more they discovered like interests and the pool of similarities manifest in size.
A copy of Tolkien's book laid between them on its spine as it rested on the table. Without noticing their heads drew closer to one another as they both looked the pages over. Alphonse only realized this as he turned his face to look at Reese's smiling mouth. The close distance between their faces sucked the air right out of Alphonse's chest. He coughed awkwardly as he turned his head away, trying to cover the sound of him choking on his own breath. Reese didn't miss Al's wandering look, a knowing smirk gracing his lips.
"You alright...?" Reese asked reaching over and patting Al's back.
Alphonse nodded his head and coughed a couple more times trying to clear his voice.
"Yes, sorry, I'm fine..." he said giving a reassuring lift of his mouth.
"Good... I wouldn't want you dying before I could prove you wrong..."
Alphonse scoffed while laughing, "Balrog do not have wings!"
The rich laughter coming out of Reese's chest sent a warm burst of joy through Alphonse's stomach. It was an emotion Al hadn't been experiences a lot of as of late. Not with Edward ignoring him, there hadn't been a lot of joy of any kind in Al's life in the pass couple months. Stony silence and crippling guilt was what Alphonse's home life consisted of. The bright emotion ricocheting inside his body brought everything in perspective to the young blond.
It was like walking into a pitch black room and suddenly a bright light blinded you. It would take a second of being in the light for your eyes to adjust, but once they did you could see everything much clearer than from before. Alphonse realized he could have feelings for Reese, if he allowed himself too. He technically hadn't fallen for the other man but he was certain, if left to flourish Al could definitely trip and land in love.
He must have appeared somber, lost in thoughts because Reese asked if Alphonse was alright. Mustering a smile Alphonse confirmed he was fine, just tired from lack of sleep. A yawn escaping Alphonse confirmed his words.
"You should head home, if you're tired..." Reese assured leaning back into his chair, a look of worry etched into his brow line.
Another jolt of joy rippled through Al as he watched Reese, the black hair really did suit the taller male. It amplified the intensity of his green eyes like an optical illusion.
"I assure you, I am fine. Besides; I am... enjoying myself..." Alphonse admitted reluctantly, the words feeling thick in his mouth as he spoke them. He didn't want the newly dyed brunette to get the wrong impression. It was nice having a friend to joke about with.
"Laughter, a solution to any problem," the words echoed in his mind, it was something Alphonse's mother had always said to him as a child and how true it was. Laughter could solve almost anything.
Reese looked as if he wanted to say something but then aborted the thought... "Well, I'm glad. I enjoy spending time with you as well..."
A blush was threatening to break out over the apples of Al's cheeks but he beat it back into submission. Instead he rallied a small smile and turned to look off in the distance. Reese's warm hand landed on Alphonse's thigh; it drew his attention back to the green-eyed male. A warm expression took hold in Reese's gaze and that knee knocking smile graced his handsome face again. "I'm here for you Alphonse. Whatever you need, I'll listen..."
Alphonse's words stuck in his throat at Reese's admission. He honestly felt breathless... Instead of words, Alphonse found himself biting his bottom lip while smiling and nodding his head around it.
It felt good to hear... Alphonse had felt so alone these past couple weeks, what with Edward's withdraw and the fact Alphonse really didn't have another friend in this world. All his family and friends were trapped in an alternate reality, a place Alphonse could never return to. It was a thought he didn't let himself think too often about, but lately he couldn't help but wonder how his life would have ended up if he never followed his brother through that fated portal.
Reese words made Alphonse feel marginally better, if not more.
"Thank you, Reese..." Placing his hand over Reese's still lingering on Al's leg, the smaller male leaned forward. "I truly mean it. Thank you."
It was a couple hours later when both men left the bookshop with belly's full of warm liquid, that Alphonse felt renewed somehow. He was finally smiling without having to force it. His soul felt light as a feather, instead of tied down from crippling guilt. Alphonse pondered, was this how I'm supposed to feel?
Reese walked Alphonse half way home before they separated. Alphonse was made to promise to call later and honestly he was going to. Reese was shaping up to be a good friend. Al saw no need to hide his friendship from Edward. Besides brother is flat out ignoring me anyways, what Edward didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
It wasn't until he entered the apartment that his good mood Reese had so carefully helped construct tumbled within itself.
Everything appeared to be normal in the front entryway, until Alphonse spotted the three brown cardboard boxes sitting next to the door. Upon further investigation Al discovered they were filled with Edward's belongings. Well mostly clothes, shirts and jeans alike pilled haphazardly into the boxes. It almost looked like Ed packed in a rush... Alphonse mused, there were shirt arms hanging over the sides.
Alphonse heart was in his stomach when he realized what the boxes meant... Was brother leaving? He couldn't be... wouldn't do that to me... Al's world began to spin at his rapid thoughts. Kicking into gear he tore through the entry way and into the hall way. Edward by chance was coming out his room; a red duffle bag strewn over his right shoulder.
Their eyes met and Alphonse gasped. The words were out of his mouth faster than he could reel them in.
"What are you doing?"
Edward looked away towards the ground, guilty from obviously being caught red handed in the act of something cruel. He didn't answer right away, dragging his flesh hand through his bangs and sighing exasperated.
"Edward-d…?" Al's voice cracked and wavered on the end. He was holding back tears which were threatening to fall. He kept repeating to himself, I will not cry, I will not cry. I will not allow him to make me cry! …but the tight feeling in the back of his throat was daring the emotions to flow.
"...it's for the best... Alphonse." Edward spoke shifting his weight to his metal leg.
"What is...?" Al asked with false hope. Somewhere down deep, Alphonse already knew what Edward meant.
Edward blinked his yellow eyes before finally looking directly at Al with a hollow look in the pit of them. And in a lackluster voice he reiterated, "It's for the best that I leave... at least, for little while."
He added the end in as a second thought, for my benefit... Ed was obviously trying to soften the blow. It hadn't worked, Alphonse could feel the walls surrounding him coming down around his head. The air completely left his lungs like a direct punch to the stomach, Alphonse couldn't breathe.
"I-I, don't understand..." he implored after a moment. A numbness was taking hold of his body, freezing the panic emotion bubbling below the surface. "Why- why are you doing this?" He was hyperventilating... could feel his body breaking out in a cold sweat.
"Alphonse." Edward sighed running his hand through his hair again. He closed his eyes and then opened his mouth before abandoning the thought and snapping it closed. His eyes fluttered open a second later, filled with a solid resolve.
"- Because I am..."
Edward took a step forward, and then he took another passing Alphonse frozen in the hallway... He brushed past him. Al's inner world was tumbling in this stasis moment he was trapped in. He watched his brother walking past him but couldn't make his body move. He was stuck as the pain of actually being abandoned took hold and formed into a vivid anger.
Anger was something he could deal with, it gave him a focal point to find traction on. Moving quicker than his brother, Al turned the corner into the living room like a live-wire.
"Coward!" he bellowed as he entered hot on Ed's heels.
"Excuse me?" Edward turned, his eyes darkening at Al's remark.
"You heard me! You fucking narcissistic coward!"
Edward took a step towards Alphonse, his blond brow furrowing fiercely in the middle. "Narcissistic? I am not a narcissist, Alphonse. I am not doing this for myself..."
"Then who!? Who are you doing it for, because I don't fucking want this...?"
"It's for the best-" Ed, countered with a needling exhale, before being interrupted.
"-Don't say that. Edward. Please!" Alphonse sobbed. The tears finally escaping down his cheeks. He was losing this fight, Edward was going to leave him. It was a terrifying thought... Alphonse didn't want this, he wanted his brother!
"Alphonse we can't keep doing this to each other, This relationship, this- this- this, fucked up situation we are in; it's toxic for the both of us..." he growled irritably rubbing at his eyes as he spoke.
"But you said we aren't even brothers anymore... Why?!" Al reached out for his brother arm, "Why can't we be together then...?
Edward jerked backwards, ripping out of Alphonse's touch... A sharp pang of pain surged through Alphonse heart. It must have shown on his face because Edward was immediately visibly regretful.
"Al, don't be like this..."
The anger surged through Al at being brushed off so easily... It showed in his voice as he spoke, "don't be like what. Brother..." he wiped at his cheeks agitated by the tears tracing his skin. "Like someone hurt because they are being abandoned? Or like the whore I played as you pinned and raped me…?"
Alphonse knew his words were cruel and impudent, but he wanted Edward to feel the amount of pain he'd lain at Al's doorstep. That moment a week ago in Al's room had been consensual on both parts, but Alphonse knew his brother didn't see it that way. He knew this because Edward had been ignoring him since that single disastrous moment and now Ed was impulsively leaving... it was all adding up in Al's head, a cruel equation solved and he was using the information as a sword aimed for his brothers' vital points.
And it stuck true.
Edward's face fell, his shoulders slumped and his eyes twisted into two pits of yellow agony. Alphonse was instantaneously ashamed.
"... I can't do this..." Edward faltered before quickly moving out the room.
"w-w-wait..." but Ed was already out the apartment, the door swung back on its hinges slamming into the wall.
Alphonse was left standing there, numbed, regretful and watching where Edward had escaped. The look of hurt etched on his brother's face haunted Al as he stood in the entryway alone.
The three boxes next to the door taunted him. With a livid growl they came tumbling down with a sturdy swipe of Al's arm. Ed's clothes and belongings arched into the air, landing forgotten on the floor. Al's knees gave out at the same moment, and he fell amongst the abandon clothes.
Lost, broken and oh, so regretful.
To be continued...
If you start to miss me. Remember; I wasn't the one to walk away.
Next time: told from Edward's POV
1.Balrogs- "Scourges of fire… demons of terror" They were Maiar, originally of the same order of Saruman and Gandalf, but they were seduced by Melkor, who corrupted them to his service in the days of his splendor before the creation of Arda. During the Music of the Airnur, the Aunulindale, Melkor (Morgoth) began introducing themes of his own design into the Theme of lluvatar, causing great discord in the music. Balrogs were among those spirits near Melkor who attuned their own music to Melkor's theme rather than lluvatar's. Therefore, they not only existed before the creation of the world, they are part in its corruption.
2. Blarogs, do they have wings or not debate- This actually is one of the number one debate 'nerds' have while conversing. Do Balrogs have wings? It might seem a simple question, but (as so often with Tolkien's works) the more we examine it, the harder it is to answer. It's a question, too, that divides Tokien's more avid readers into two distinct camps; those who believe in Balrogs wings, and those who deny their existence.
Five reviews for update!
Five reviews for update!
