A/N On The Universe: Okay this is kind of following cannon from the movie verse Conqueror of Shamballa. Where Ed and Alphonse are stuck in OUR world (Parallel world of earth) but instead of them being stuck in 1923, its 2013. AND they are in America, not Germany.

A/N On Reviews: I adore getting feedback and constructive criticism, but I do have one request to make. When commenting, please bear in mind that your comments and suggestions, both good and bad, are your opinion only, rather than (in general) a statement of fact. It is easy to accidentally insult or offend an author by sounding demanding and entitled in a written review, and I know that is never anyone's intention. By all means tell me if you think something seems a bit off, but give a moment's thought to how the tone of your review might be received. Thanks!

Rating Information - Rated "MA" overall due to scenes of an explicit or disturbing nature later on. Meaning Boy on boy, with incest dabbled into there. If you do not enjoy these types of stories, you may press the back button. But if you do enjoy this type of 'kink' then please stay put. Thing are about to get bumpy in here.

Warning: Adult language. Adult situation. Incest. (Late Update!)

-You've-been-warned.-


Amber Shades of Shame:

The morning light slithers through the drawn curtains, waking the sleeping figure in the rumpled sheets.

Waking is something Alphonse has never taken granted of. Awakening means he's really alive. Awakening means he actually fell asleep, and wasn't trapped inside the metal armor anymore.

It also means he is human, capable of feeling extremely hungover from a long night of drinking.

Al's eyes throb as he blinks blearily awake. Oh, damn… everything aches. Even his bones throb in pain. Alphonse is vaguely aware he is nude beneath the blankets covering his lower half. He's also aware he's on his stomach, in his own bed. Of course, his mind is having trouble catching up, being occupied by the intense throbbing taking place in his skull.

He couldn't for the life of himself remember what happened last night… his hand twitches next to his head as he tries to recall how he'd gotten home the previous night. Groaning, he closes his eyes as the room begins to twist and spin. The overly loud sound sends pain racing up his spine, making his blood throb as it rushes into his head.

Alphonse's stomach twists. 'Oh hell…'

Rolling clumsily off the bed, he manages to get his feet under him as he darts out the door. He staggers in the hallway, slamming his shoulder into the cold wall. The room tilts nauseatingly. Hectically he stumbles into the bathroom right as his stomach decides to empty its content. He barely manages to make it to the toilet.

Green flavored nausea washes over him as he silently swears to 'never drink again'. His stomach rolls and his head continues to throb. He aches all over his body and while kneeling on chilly tile floor is a necessary evil, it wasn't helping anything. His neck throbs in pain from the awkward angle he's holding it at; muscles stiff from tension. Alphonse is cold, but he couldn't break away from the death-grip on the toilet to do anything but to hold on and feel miserable.

'I'm dying…' He thinks, closing his eyes with a raggedy breath heaving his shoulders. Nothing comes up, though. Swallowing, Alphonse grimaces at the vile taste of bile coating his mouth.

His mind reels, 'how did I get home last night?'

He remembers being at the party with Reese. He remember being handed a cup full of sweet flavored liquor. He remembers going outside to stare at the stars, but this is where his memory starts to fizzle out…

Alphonse stomach rolls and his head continues to throb the more he thinks about it. It's like swimming through a cloudy pool with too much chlorine in it; he couldn't see in front of him, but he knew there was something there, lurking in the depths of the water that he needs to remember.

His memories are faded, he wants to remember but he just… couldn't. All he's receiving are fragment shards.

[Warming laughs, and green eyes… the taste of beer and a faint tang of mint on his tongue.]

The last one confuses Alphonse, he doesn't even like the taste of beer…

[His shirt cold and damp from the grass beneath his back… wandering hands up his inner thigh…]

It brought heat to Al's cheeks... making him shiver in its wake.

Forcing his memory back, Alphonse dimly remembers talking with Reese on the grass; under a sky of millions twinkling stars. He remembers falling backwards and laughing at something. And then… then…

[Reese's hand slides further up Alphonse's thigh until it's brushing against the prominent bump of Al's erection.

"Fuck Al," Reese says hotly against Alphonse's parted mouth. "You're so hard."]

Alphonse feels every muscle clench in his stomach as he retches violently into the toilet again.

Memory after memory assault's him through his misery…

["So fucking pretty…" Reese mumbled hotly, hand moving up and down Al's cock, stroking slowly at first before picking pace up at the sounds of Al's mewing breaths.]

Alphonse stomach churns and stirs upon itself as the memories continue to flow…

[Reese slithers down Al's shivering body and swirls his wet tongue around the tip of his organ, and then into the boy's moisten slit. It's like a punch to the stomach, all the air leaves Alphonse in one fell-swoop as his head knocks backwards. His hands tightening in the grass, ripping and uprooting chunks in his fist.

Reese's dark chuckle, his voice rumbling with it, "Alphonse…" His hot mouth never leaving the soft expanse of Al's throbbing flesh. "Open your eyes."]

Alphonse remembers listening to the other male's demands and opening his eyes, remembers seeing his wet dick, slipping past Reese pink, pink mouth… his lips stretching the width as Alphonse watches himself sinking further into his friend's hot, wet opening. Watching like an outsider; a stranger from his own body.

' Shit… shit. I-I did that…'

Al's stomach lurches again, but there isn't anything else inside his stomach to give. His shoulders staggers in uncontrolled dry heaves. Hot tears gathering along his lashes… and then finally down the boy's cheeks.

'I,m dying', he thinks again, trying desperately to breathe through his nose.

With his forehead resting on the lip of the porcelain, Alphonse focuses on merely breathing… In his nose and out his mouth. He does this for a length of time, until he can manage to stand. Rising on shaky legs, he flushes his disgrace down the toilet and makes ready to take a shower.

Except… the bathtub is full of 'murky, dirty water'…? Alphonse gives pause as he wonders, 'how in the hell is the bathtub full?'

The water is cold when he reaches down to unplug the ceramic tub. He observes the foggy water disappearing down the drain, all the while trying to remember… to see through the alcohol induced memories.

[The scent of home, a warm, familiar body pressing into his for support. "You smell good…" he hears himself say, even if the words are a bit slurred.

A deep chuckle is the only reply as mismatch hands - one cold, lifeless metal and the other warm, living flesh - begin to undress him. Alphonses knows he is safe. In the caring hands of family… The word 'home' repetitively echoing through his mind in reassurance…

Brother is finally home.]

Alphonse balks at the memory… 'Ed… Edward was here? When… when did he leave?'

His heart hastens at such a thought. 'Is he still here? Did he leave? Was he ever, really here', Alphonse thinks with his thoughts edging into the lines of uncertainty. He couldn't be sure… his memory is already so fuzzy. He couldn't trust it. He needs to find out for sure…

Hurrying through the shower with rapid thoughts firing, Alphonse emerges fresh and clean and actually feeling closer to being a functioning person. He just felt more… dignified, to say the least.

He brushes his teeth before exiting the bathroom with a towel loosely around his narrow hips.

The sounds of pots and pans clanking together in the kitchen echoes through the apartment. The sounds makes him wince; pain still ricocheting in his addled brain. Alphonse heart drops into his stomach upon realizing Edward is, in- fact, still in the apartment.

'He… he's really here.' Al thinks, with a light feather-feeling touching his stomach… It didn't last long, the green flavor nausea quickly overtook anything fleeting or light as it settles in the back of the boy's throat.

["So fucking pretty…" Reese mumbles hotly…]

Guilt slams into Alphonse. His face aflame; cheeks more than likely red in amber Shades of shame. Alphonse cringes from the memory of Reese going down on him. For some unknown reason Al feels as if he's cheated on his brother… feels it to the very fiber of his soul. The sick nauseating feeling he felt earlier is nothing compared to the guilt cultivating inside him now.

Alphonse listens to the sound of his brother movements in the other room, the dull sound of his automail foot cuffing along the wooden floor. And Al is left wondering yet again, 'how did I get home last night? How does my brother play into this scenario?'

No answer came, only blank spaces in his memory. Alphonse purses his lips in agitation. It's such a simple question. Why couldn't he find the answer? Why?

Turning away from the sounds of his brother, Al enters his room and closes the door behind himself. Moving stiffly Alphonse pads towards his dresser to get a plain white t-shirt and boxers from the first drawer, before retrieving his black sweat pants from the drawer under. He dries himself and dresses himself accordingly.

There's a chill lingering in the air, goosebumps prickling his damp skin. Thinking better of it, Al grabs his favorite army-green pullover sweater from his closest. There are slits in the wrist for his thumbs to fit into and the hood is deep like a cave; it helps to cover his sensitive eyes from the light.

He steps into the hallway feeling full of anxiety. The weight of it like a black cloud hanging over head. Alphonse can hear the raspy rumble of Edward's voice.

'He's on the phone…' Al realizes.

His curiosity peaks, he creeps ever closer and stops at the end of the hallway to listen.

"…I know that, but it wasn't like that…" Edward says with a tired sigh escaping a second later. Alphonse could almost see Edward running his flesh hand over his face as he leans against the kitchen table with both his elbows. He knows his brother… knows Ed mannerism like the back of his own hand.

Edward must be listen to whatever the other person is saying on the line, because he's quiet for a length of time. Another large sigh follows, and Al hears fabric rustling.

"It's not like I could've left him alone. Fuck Heiderich, he was so fucking, drunk. I've never seen my brother like that…"

There was a pause, another sigh and Al feels his stomach clench as he realizes who Edward is talking to, and what (well more like whom) they are talking about.

'When had Heiderich become Ed's touchstone in all matters of ethics…?'

"Yeah, I know. I will. It won't be until later, though."

"I don't know. He's up. I heard the shower running a few minutes ago…"

"No, I haven't, but I'm going too… H-he… He has the right to know."

A rock settles in Alphonse's stomach. The counterweight to his guilt. Anger. It's abrupt and like wild fire spreading in a dry field.

They are speaking of him as if he is merely a child. Of course, technically, he is only hearing one side of the conversation, but it's enough to clue him into the gist of thing.

'Ed only sees me a kid… I'm not a child… I'm not.' Alphonse thinks with a sense of realization settling in. He is standing in the shadows eavesdropping on his elder siblings' conversation. This is indeed; childish…

'Damn.'

Bracing himself with more courage than he truly possets. He steps around the corner and into kitchen. Alphonse isn't ready for the brightly lit room, every window and curtain is open, with the sun shining through. He winces and slinks further into the depth of his hood.

Edward is sitting at the dining-table with his elbows resting on the wooden table top. Just as Alphonse pictured a moment ago in his mind. Al can feel the weight of his brother's eyes on him as he rounds the corner and enters kitchenette without much of a greetings.

"I gotta go, Alfons," Edward says moments later. "Yeah… He is. I have to go. Yeah, yeah. Bye."

Alphonse opens the fridge as he hears the phone being set down on the receiver.

Getting the carton of orange juice out, Al closes the door with a bump of his hip and turns to get a mug out of the cupboard.

"How are you feeling?" Edward says from the entryway of the kitchen.

Alphonse feels his jaw clench, reaching for a cup he turns his back to his brother. "I'm fine," 'asshole.' Al thinks stretching to get his fingers on the lip of his favorite blue mug on the tallest shelf.

'Who put it up here?' He wonders agitatedly.

Edward's warm hand on the small of Alphonse back startles him slightly. The scent of sandalwood and metal wafts into the smaller males scenes, halting his thought process momentarily. The elder Elric reaches over Alphonse, his longer arms capable of further range. Edward sets the blue-flecked mug down on the counter-top before moving away.

"You should take something for your headache." Ed says candidly walking out of the room.

Alphonse couldn't breathe, his heart in his throat prevents it. Swallowing thickly, he tries to calm his racing pulse. With shaking hands he pours himself a small amount of juice and actually listens to his brother. He opens the medicine cabinet and gets two ibuprofen.

Taking several quiet, calming breaths, Al pops the pills into his mouth and swallows them down with a swig of juice. A number of emotions war inside his chest, but irritation pushes its way rapidly to the forefront.

'Who does Edward think he is?' He reasons, slamming his cup to the counter. Screw this… He is going to find out… Following after Edward, Alphonse enters into the living room.

"Why are you here, really?" Alphonse asks directly, pushing his hoodie off his head as he enters the darker room.

Edward sighs a long drawn out sound, still not looking directly towards Alphonse.

Al watches as Ed sets his jaw the way he does when he's about to do something or say something difficult. "I came by last night to talk."

"You did?"

Edward nods and flexes his jaw, "but you weren't here." He concedes, finally looking Alphonse in the eyes. There's a pause as they both just stare at each other from across the room. Hazel eyes to Edward's golden hues.

The corner of Ed's lips twitch but not in any sort of amusing way. More like he is biting back a growl. "I let myself in, with the spare key under the mat.

"It was then, I realized it's almost finales week for you. You were probably out studying. I didn't grasp you'd be out getting shit face as an alternative…" Edward all but barks accusingly.

"Brother… I…" Al murmurs, all of his anger leaking out him at the sound of his brother's upset voice. He brings his arms around himself, eyes low; looking at his feet not at Edward, and he knows it's wrong, but he can't really return the other males gaze right now. He feels so lowly because Edward is right…

'Of course he's right…' Al acknowledges with silent guilt swirling inside his chest.

"I thought - fuck Al - I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere."

Alphonse winces while feeling utterly ashamed of his choices. The worst part of it all he couldn't even tell Edward about much of last night. He couldn't remember half of it, and the half he does remember, he doesn't want to share with his elder sibling.

He feels mortified about the whole thing with Reese.

"Who were you with last night? Where did you go?"

The younger male fidgets where he stands, bouncing from foot to foot. A dark blush riding the peaks of ears and cheeks.

"Reese… we went to a party. I-I…"

Edward inhales sharply, interrupting as he takes another step forward. "— and where was Reese at the end of the night, Alphonse?"

The smaller male's eyebrows strum together in confusion as his blush spreads across his neck, to his chest… "I-I-I don't know."

["Alphonse?" Reese questioned again but Al merely flinches and turns to leave.

"I-I-I hav'ta go." He hears himself slurs, tongue thick in his mouth.

A hand around his wrist stops him, "Alphonse wait. Let me—"

Al feels something sharp inside of himself snap as he rips his hand away. "No, just don't." He looks frantic, chest heaving with excretion. "Just… Just leave me alone."]

The memory trickles into Al's mind like water running down the wall. The abrupt rush of it leaves him feeling angry and even more disoriented in its wake.

"I-I left him at the party…" He manages to say with a shake of his head. One of his hands rubbing along his forehead. "I-I really, don't even know…" He flounders at what to say, how to answer. He doesn't even have the response for himself.

Alphonse is so very confused.

Apparently it placates Edward, his gaze softening as he watches his brother struggle to remember the night before.

"I found you passed out on the stairwell outside the apartment." The elder Elric admits astutely while taking another few steps forward, almost standing directly in front of Al; close enough to touch.

"The land lady was trying to get you to move…" Edward speaks with humor rumbling thinly in his voice. It lures Alphonse's eyes upwards with the comforting, soothing sound.

His brother is watching him. Eye's stationary on his face, intense and so, fucking, golden and bottomless, and Alphonse find himself wanting to drown in them.

"I don't remember much of the night," He admits reluctantly. "…but I-I honestly didn't think you'd be here waiting for me." Al adds with a pleading look towards his brother to understand.

The silence stretches between them as they stand so near to each other for the first times in weeks but yet, so very, far from one another. The tension builds with a tangible quality in the air with it spanning the gorge between the two brothers.

Edward clears his throat and the spell breaks, "…I was at the construction site." He admits, "Thought I'd come by—"

"—so we can talk?" Alphonse ask with his head tipping with his question. His typically gentle voice betraying the slight hints of distress.

Edward chuckles nervously, his flesh hand finding the back of his neck as he rubs it. "Yeah… about that."

The elder male precipitously looks very uncomfortable. Alphonse could see it with the telling signs of Edward's clenching his jaw… The way Ed squirms within his own skin, with the way his brother wouldn't hold eye contact with him; his golden eyes fleeting away to look off in the distance.

Alphonse knows...

He's nervous. 'Whatever Brother's about to admit, it's not going to be good…' Alphonse thinks with a daunting flutter racing through his veins, settling in the pit of his stomach. It didn't help anything. Not Alphonse anxiety, nor the growing fear for this situation and its invariable outcome. No, it didn't help matters, not at all. Alphonse could feel his panic beginning to mount…

Edward let out a large breath with his hands falling to his sides. He turns to walk away, before he aborts the movement seconds later. He just stands there in the middle of the living room for a moment, his blond head bowing to his chest and his fist clenching tightly together at his sides.

With another sigh, Ed starts to talk with his back facing Al, "I care for you Alphonse," he expresses with candor imprinting in his smooth voice.

"I know that, brother." Alphonse says incredulously.

Edward winces visibly. His profile slightly-perceptible from where Alphonse stood by the hallway. Ed favors Al with a small, sad smile before turning completely away. His gold eyes never leaving the ground.

Al stares at him, shock and panic sticking him to the floor like glue. He looks at his brother's long blond braid running the length of the other male's muscular back and feels his heart wanting to escape out of his throat.

' Brother…'

"… I care for you… Edward clarifies unsteadily. "More— more than an older brother should, Alphonse." He pauses to breathe audibly out his nose before continuing. "I worry about you. I worry to the point… I feel this heavy weight in the pit of my stomach all the time. - Fuck - Whenever you're sad I feel it… and I would do anything to make you happy… to-to make your life normal. And I realize this… this thing between us, isn't normal. I realize I-I shouldn't… should not want you—."He confesses throwing his hands out to the sides and pacing a few steps away.

"You're my brother god damn-it!" Edward cries, finally turning towards Alphonse with eyes burning with shameful sadness.

"You a-are my brother…" He adds with a cracking whisper…

Alphonse feels the moment his heart shatters in tens-of-thousands of pieces. Edward eyes brim with such overwhelming sadness. The younger Elric could only manage to keep listening… absorbing every word his elder brother is revealing; his eyes wide with shock, fear, and sadness, so much -fucking- sadness.

"—we can't…" Ed starts again, his large, golden eyes piercing through Al's heart.

"It's depraved and it's disgusting..."

It's startling how swiftly Alphonse is overwhelmed with anger at his brother's choices in words. Edward is making decisions about Alphonse's life without consulting him to begin with. Shouldn't the youngest Elric get a say in any of this? This is not a choice Edward should be making alone! This is also about Alphonse, and his feelings matter… Didn't they?

Obviously they didn't… otherwise Edward would have included him on this ground breaking decision. Instead Al is treated as a child; sent to bed without any dinner…

' I am, so, fucking over this…'

Trying to focus through his swelling rage, it's unmanageable as it gathers speed and comes spewing out of Alphonse's mouth like poison.

"That's really great, Edward." The young blond spits out. He crosses his arms over his chest with his spine rigidly straight, cutting himself off completely in his anger.

"Go ahead and mount your fucking, high horse so, you can tell me how morally wrong I am, or how this will break our family apart, or that the entire idea makes you uncomfortable. Go ahead… I don't care."

Edward is taken back from Alphonse outburst. Golden eyes widen with shock. "Alphonse… w-wha… Where is this coming from? I don't think you—"

I've heard enough… "Just - fucking - stop it!" He yells, his anger bleeding into his words.

"Al… I just… I don't want you to hate me." Ed says sounding so, very destroyed.

Alphonse couldn't help but let out a breathy bitter-laugh. "Yet, you obviously don't want me to love you either," Al retorts looking guiltless, so pure and free of ulterior motives. His eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

He hurts, his heart aches, his feelings are hurt, his head is throbbing and he just wants this fucking conversation to be over already. He obviously isn't good enough for his brother…

' Disgusting and depraved…'

Edward is left utterly speechless. The way he is looking at Alphonse is making Al's skin all tingly and tight and he hates it. Hates it even now, angrier than he's ever been at his older brother, that he still desires Edward to the fullest extent of the meaning.

The taller male takes a step forward, making his younger brother take one back… Edward's eyes widen as he watches Alphonse's retreating form.

"Alphonse… This isn't… That's not fair."

The other male laughs, an unpleasant sounding laugh. "…and you leaving for five weeks is?"

"There's different, and you know it…" Edward says, starting to sound annoyed as well.

"Just because you deem it… doesn't make it so, brother." Al retorts hotly. "Have you ever stopped to question, what I want…" he all but cries out as he shoves forward into his brother's personal space. "If you're so – fucking – worried about me, why can't you see how unhappy I am," he ask sounding broken, as he reaches out to fist his brother's black shirt between his fingers.

"—Because I am, Edward. So very, very unhappy." Alphonse admits with hot, angry tears streaking his cheeks wet.

Alphonse wants things, things he knows he should be ashamed of, but couldn't find the will to care. It's utterly frustrating having what you want within your grasp but denied at every twist and turn. That type of frustration wasn't what he needed right now, because it easily fed the rage simmering inside him.

He wants to punch his brother, bring him the same pain churning inside his own stomach. But in the same breath he wants to kiss his brother, to revel in the sweet warmth of the other male's tongue against his own. It's a confusing set of emotions, and yet… Alphonse didn't know which way to turn.

He closes his eyes and lets his confusion wash over him.

Al wants Ed, but at the same time he needs to get away. If he could uncurl his hands from his brother's shirt, he might have hit him. Or pull him closer. He needs to stop this. He wants it to go on and on. He needs to flip them and be the one in control for once. He wants to surrender to his brother strong powerful current, pulling him down and under.

He needs… he wants…

…His brother.

And with that thought circling his mind he surges forward, sealing his mouth to the elder blonds. It is a chaste press of lips to lips, a simple motion setting off fireworks behind the smaller males eyes. Pulling back, he looks at Edward's perplexed face, and he can't help it he leans forward and kisses him again, mouth open, tongue tracing over Ed's lips, catching on his teeth, and he's drowning in it, the sensation after so long without it. The feeling is overwhelming as Edward's mouth begins to respond, and Al needs it more, closer, now.

Edward reaction is almost immediately, it's startling how quickly Alphonse finds himself shoved up against the nearest wall with his heart racing as Ed deepens their kiss. The younger male could almost taste the adrenaline on his brother's wet tongue, could feel the frantic beating of his heart as he presses ever closer; his knee wedging between Al's thighs. A salty taste lingers between the kiss from the tears cascading down his cheeks, but they both ignore it to press forward wanting to feel more.

The sensation is almost intense enough to blot out the guilt.

Almost.

They should stop this. They really should stop this. But Alphonse can't bring himself to speak up. It feels far too good, far better than it should perhaps. Maybe that's the reason it did, though? The forbidden notion held within an iron fist of will; but even iron has its weaknesses.

And the intense fire rips through Alphonse, melting his iron-clad will away.

Edward lips descend on Al's neck, nipping, teasing, and Alphonse burns brightly. The heat he feels like embers, radiant brighter in his stomach; scorching his flesh where Edwards is sucking patterns into.

Al settles his hands against the base of Edward's skull, arching into the taller male's rough touches and kisses. His blood roars in his ears; caught up in the moment, he only just realizes Edward's hardness against his hip and Al finds himself groaning, head tipping against the wall in complacency.

Alphonse has thought a lot of dark thoughts these past couple weeks since Edward's been out of his life— from his brother motives, his own choices, and everything in between. The harsh words thrown in bitter strife.

None of it matters. Not the arguments. Not the hurt feelings. Nor the feelings of abandonment. None of it but the hot press of Edward's tongue against Alphonse's skin and the indent of his hard dick against his own; here and now.

Like the shock of unabashed desire (and whatever is spiraling out of control between the two of them…) it sparks a strange, jittery feeling in Al's stomach. A restless, reckless feeling— like he's about to jump from a great heights.

Edward's hands grip Al's left thigh, hiking it up and spreading it for a better angle to press and grind together.

Alphonse is drowning in the feeling of the taller male, the feeling of his tongue sliding against his flesh, the blistering heat that seems to be radiating from the other males skin.

It's almost too much, too sudden.

Reaching up he removes his brother's hair tie, threading his fingers through the golden hair to grasp something… to push ever closer. –and Edward is so close like this, wrapped over and around him, blond hair everywhere. He can't control the quivering of his body, nor the quiet gasp which escape loosely into the air at the friction of their cocks slotting together through layers of clothes. So instead he muffles his cries against Edward shoulder as the rocking continues.

"Shit…" Edward mutters against Al's neck. "Shit, fuck… Please… Please let me…"

Alphonse can't decipher the needy words escaping from his brother's mouth … All he knows is Edward is letting his unsteady leg down and is sliding down his body in the same motion, to kneel at Alphonse's feet…

' w-what… is he… Oh fuck—'

Ed's direct intentions knocks Al's breathe away as his older brother cups his aching arousal, squeezing lightly through the fabric of his black sweat pants. Alphonse head tips backwards and he lets out a throaty moan. His hips arching helplessly into the warming touch. He dimly registers Edward's metal hand pushing and shoving the pants roughly out of the way. –and then Ed's flesh hand is closing around his aching length, and beginning to stroke at a passionate pace; Al's hips rock instinctively up into the touch. Small sputtering sounds tumbling from his lip as all of his pent up frustration comes rushing to the surface.

Edward nuzzles his cheek and nose in the dip of Al's bare hip, breathing in Alphonse's scent.

The younger Elric knees wobble and momentarily he thinks he's about to fall if he doesn't hold on to something, and then there is no time to think at all with Edward running the flat of his tongue from root to tip, then he took the length into his mouth with a hard, hungry suck.

Alphonse's world fades out to white hot static.

"Ed-ward!" he gasps, all the breath leaving him at once. His hands find their way in his brother's hair again, tightening as his hips thrusts forward marginally.

Alphonse didn't understand how things escalated so quickly, he felt like a blade of grass shaking in the winds; helps, needy and pliable to the slightest caress.

Edward pulls his head back, and then quickly forward again; bobbing as he begins to suck and twist. It's almost too much. Alphonse mouth falls open in a silent 'O' as he is completely consumed in wet, hot heat of his brothers' throat. The feeling of it all just, felt too amazing to last longer than a few sparse moments, and oh god, it wasn't going to last – he could already feel pleasure curling at the base of his spine.

Alphonse realizes this moment… this unexpected action of his brother giving him head in the hallway of their apartment is completely incomparable to what Al had shared with Reese the night before. Yes, what his friend did to him had felt good, (in its own way) but it felt nothing like the velvety suction of Edward unbelievably hot mouth wrapped around his dick.

Tipping his head down away from the wall, Alphonse watches as he thrust forward, disappearing past his brothers pink, wet lips.

–and fuck it's sexy to watch. Ed's cheeks flush and hollow; Alphonse is powerless to run a thumb over Edward's pronounced cheek bones. The movement causes Edward's bright eyes to open and look upwards. Al gasps, all the breath leaving him at once, like someone just punched him the stomach.

Edward's eyes are dark, pupils dilated, tears clinging to his long-blond lashes, and Alphonse remembers exactly what 'desire' feels like.

Alphonse fights to keep his eyes open at the pleasure circling in his body. Edward's sure and hot mouth is unrelenting, his tongue smacking along the underside and then slithering down and then back up.

It's torturous… like a sweet-torturous-release…

And then suddenly the heat is gone, and replaced by cold air…

"W-ait…" Al whines but the sound of a knock on the front door freezes the complaint almost simultaneously.

Edward recovers a lot quicker than Al as he rocks back on his heels to stand.

Alphonse erection slaps wetly to his belly… the moment lost to sound of the doorbell ringing into the apartment.

"Alphonse… I know you're in there…" A gruff voice says from the other side of the door.

Alphonse feels his stomach drop into his feet upon realizing who's standing outside his apartment.

' Reese.'

"I-I… uh. I'll be right there…" Al stutters, pulling his pants back up with shame cultivating in his stomach.

' Well this is awkward…'

Edward wipes at his mouth with the back of his flesh hand. He wouldn't even look towards Al as he walks out of the room, down the hall… without so much a single word uttered or even a backwards glance. Alphonse is left alone with guilt and only a throbbing erection to keep him standing on wobbly legs.

Another loud knock fills the air. With a heavy exhale, Al pads over to answer the door. Staying slightly behind it to hide the obvious hard-on he's still sporting in his black sweatpants, he opens the door.

Reese is standing with his hands shoved into his jean pockets, a worried look etched onto his handsome face.

"How are you feeling?"

Alphonse could feel the heat engulfing his cheeks. The last time he'd seen Reese, his dick had been down his friend's throat. And to make matters worse, his brother had just been doing the same thing to him seconds earlier… his dick still felt wet from his brother's lingering saliva.

Al knew his face is lit brightly like a cherry tomato.

' I'm a fucking slut…'

"I'm fine…" he manages to stammer out, his eyes never wavering from the ground.

"Are you hungover? You look a little flushed…" Reese asks, stepping forward to touch Alphonse's cheek.

Al jerks back before the other males hand could touch him. "I'm fine." Al reiterates with sharpness. "What are you doing here?"

Reese sighs, tucking his hand back into his pocket. "Look Alphonse, about last night…"

The acid in Al's stomach churns violently. 'Brother could be listening…' He thinks abruptly, stopping Reese before he could reveal too much… "Don't—"

"Alphonse…"

"No, seriously Reese. It's fine. Just drop it."

Reese exhales, running his long fingers through his black hair. "Yeah… okay. If that's how you want to play this…"

Alphonse's guilt multiplies upon hearing his friends defeated voice. It wasn't like he's trying to purposely hurt Reese, Alphonse just has a lot resting on his plate at the moment.

And last night had been a huge (drunken) mistake.

' I should've never let it get so out of hand.'

"I-I never meant for it…" Alphonse tries to explain, but he couldn't find the words to finish his sentence. He didn't want to hurt Reese, he's such a good guy… The taller male has been such a good friend these past couple weeks, and Alphonse really didn't want to hurt him.

Obviously though, it's inevitable and Alphonse realizes it's already occurring.

Reese; the guy who is always happy with a brilliant smile illuminating his face, wasn't the man standing before Alphonse here and now. Reese's joy has all but gone, the light not present in his jolly green eyes.

It makes Alphonse sick to know he is the cause for this ghost like appearance in his normally care-free friend.

"I'm sorry…" He says without really thinking and hates it when Reese flinches at his poorly chosen words.

Reese huffs a laugh, a broken little thing, and rolls his lackluster eyes up towards Alphonse's face.

"I should be the one apologizing." He pauses and swallows thickly, "considering I was the one who took advantage of you…"

It's Al's turn to flinch, "No, Reese…that's not true. I could have stopped you."

"Doesn't matter. You were drunk and I should have never touched you."

Time stands still momentarily with Reese's words lingering between them. Seconds later the brunette shakes his head as if to dislodge a thought before a gentle smile finds its way onto his mouth. It didn't touch his eyes, but at least he's trying.

Alphonse continues to stand stock-still, the guilt making it nearly impossible to move or answer.

"I'm just glad you got home safely—."

Alphonse was about to respond when he hears Ed's voice from behind him.

"—with no obvious help from you." Edward growls angrily. Gripping the door, he forcefully opens it all the way, making Alphonse stumble away from it into the wall.

Al's heart lurches in his chest. 'This isn't good', He thinks, recovering from being shoved away. Edward is already out the door and stepping into Reese's space by the time Al finds his balance again.

'Shit… shit… not good. Not good!'

Edward's intent is crystal clear. His mismatch fists clenching into tight knots of white knuckle fury.

Al knows personally the type of damage Edward can dish out when angered. Knows the fierceness held behind his brothers punches and kicks. It never ends pretty, instead with blood on the ground and broken bones.

Which isn't a plausible option.

There's a slight shift in Reese' body language, as if an internal switch has been flipped from offensive to defensive.

"Who's this, Al?" Reese questions not taking his eyes off the taller scowling blond in front of him.

Alphonse opens his mouth to respond but doesn't get a chance to say anything as he is cut off by Edward again, "I don't see why, it's any of your business who I am." Ed shoves Reese's broad chest making the other male stumble backwards slightly.

A wicked leer finds its way onto Reese face as he pushes forward, this time getting into Edward's face.

"Stop it. The both of you…" Alphonse yells, darting between Ed and his intended target.

Edward tries to sidestep him, but Al spins to match his brother's fluid moves, making Ed slams into Alphonse's chest. Grabbing Edward's arms quickly to prevent any further movements, Al hangs on as his brother tries to shake him loose.

"Go Reese." Al speaks over his shoulder, trying with all his might to hold his brother back, who at the moment is trying to lurch forward to get in front of Reese again.

"I'm fine…" he reassures still struggling with Edward.

"I'm not leaving you here with—"

Edward lunges forward again, only to be shoved back by Al's hands on his shoulders.

"—you better think, long and hard about what you're about to say," Edward snarls pointedly towards Reese.

"Edward, stop it. Just stop…" Alphonse repeat himself, this time with steel backing his words, he continues to stand between Reese and a severe pummeling.

Turning his attention back towards his friend he tells him to leave again, pleading with him that he'll be fine. Reese doesn't look like he really believes Alphonse; but what choice did he have… it's completely out of his hands.

Reese turns and walks way but not before saying he expects a thorough explanation tomorrow.

And then he is gone.

Alphonse's heart couldn't take the stress of his blood pressure sky-rocketing through the roof. He feels sick from the emotional rollercoaster he has called his morning. Trying not to let his emotions over-rule him, Al forces himself to calm down before turning around to face his seething brother.

Their eyes lock, angry gold to furious hazel. "I can't fucking believe you," he derides, sweeping past Edward into the apartment.

"— and I can't believe what I was just hearing." Edward argues, following his younger brother into the house hot on his trail.

"Oh, piss off…"

Edward reaches out, snagging Alphonse's slim bicep between his metal hands, stopping the slighter male from retreating further.

"Did he take advantages of you, Alphonse?" He asks with solemnity to his voice.

'So he did hear Reese… shit.' Al thinks, his cheeks erupting into dark shades of amber. He couldn't manages to level his eyes with his brother's.

"N-no, he d-didn't… I-I… w-we…" he flounders.

Edward's expression hardens as he starts for the entryway, "Oh, I'll fucking kill him…"

Alphonse dashes for the door right as Edward is opening it, and it slams shut from the force of Al's shoulder coming to rest against it.

"It wasn't like that…." The younger male breaths out pleading for his brother to understand, "it was consensual. I s-swear… on— o-on mother's grave, Edward."

Edward growls out his frustration as he stalks away from the door. His mismatch fists clenching at his sides with the amount of ire circling inside.

Alphonse realizes it is exactly how Edward's has always looked right before a fight; the steely rage hardening his brother demeanor. It terrifies the younger Elric, knowing Edward's legendary anger is completely honed towards him.

He knows he needs to defuse the situation before things deteriorate any further…

"Look," Alphonse sighs with his hands running through his damp hair, "I messed up. Okay? I got really drunk last night (to the point I blacked out and can't remember most of it) and I did some things I'm ashamed of and regret fully."

Al closes his eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath to thwart his growing anger towards his elder sibling.

"— But how dare you treat my friend in such a matter," he says opening his hardened hazel eyes. "Reese has been here, helping me, supporting me…" he pauses trying to collect himself before continuing. "I don't see how you get off acting that way— when you've been out of my life for five weeks Edward!"

Edward scoffs indignantly, "because I'm your older brother… That's why!" Like it is a legitimate answer.

Anger swirls in Alphonse like ink in water, rapidly and almost out of control.

"Oh, you're acting like my brother again, "He says contemptuously while folding his arms across his chest. Shutting himself off completely. "Does that mean you're going to leave again? Or is that code for 'let me fuck you some more?'" Al sneers unpleasantly towards the taller male, "From sucking my cock, back to over protective sibling. How do you keep the lines from blurring, brother?"

"Fucking-hell, Alphonse, I wish I'd never touched you in the first place; I hate myself for it…" Edward growls out, taking a step forward.

"—you should!" Al interrupts Edward's confession with his arms spreading wide with his words. "But yet here you are, showing up looking for more handouts and table scraps…"

"…fuck you!"

"No, fuck you."

Alphonse expects his brother to lash out, but what he did not expect is for Edward's swift left hook to connect with his jaw. His inner ears rings from the force held behind the punch. The taste of his own blood fills his mouth as pain blooms behind his teeth. He finds himself flung against the hallway wall; bottom lip split, a mouth full of blood, but the blinding anger is what evokes him into action.

Pushing off the wall, Al delivers a swift back hand to Edward's face, following it by lunging forward to take his brother to the ground. He only forgot one small thing; Edward could be damn near unmovable when he is angry.

As Alphonse came barreling towards him, Edward recovers quickly from the slap; planting his feet into the floor and snaking his long metal arm out like lighting, catching Alphonse off guard. Unable to resist the force of his brother's automail strength, Al is swept and yanked off his feet. His back slams down to the floor, with no chance to roll away as Edwards heavy frame comes down on top of him.

The wind is knocked from Alphonse's lungs but he focuses through it, like teacher had taught him all those years ago. Trying to dig his heels into the floor and maneuver his body to slide or flip his brother away. Edward straddles him, his knees pressing into Al's hips hard enough the younger Elric couldn't move an inch.

Al tries to punch Ed, but the angle is awkward and his brother is way too fucking fast—catching Alphonse's wrist in his hands and pressing them both to the floor overhead. It brings their faces scant inches from one another, but not close enough for Al to find the leverage to try for a head-butt.

Alphonse is thoroughly pinned, and they both know it.

"How dare you…" Alphonses snarls through his bleeding and swollen lips.

The emotion in Edward's eyes is dark and predatory. "You've done this to yourself…" he hisses, his white teeth flashing in the dim light of the hallway. And in the same fluid motion, Edward's mouth covers Alphonse's in a bruising kiss.

Alphonse freezes completely immobile, taken back by the force in his brother's heated embrace. The taste of copper fills their mouths as Edward deeps the kiss, licking into the depths of Alphonse mouth to swirl their tongues together.

The kiss is demanding and burning the younger Elric to his core, his body betrays him and he finds himself moaning into his brother's mouth. His mind blank and he lost himself into the inertia of all his jumbled up emotions and feelings pin-balling hectically inside his body all at once.

Then it all stops abruptly, leaving Alphonse cold and confused (yet again) when Edward breaks the kiss all too soon.

"No," Ed whispers before repeating himself louder and pulls away, "I-I can't do this," his voice cracks and he scrambles to his feet.

Al is seriously confused now, "wait," Alphonse manages to sit up and grab his brother before he gets too far.

' No, no, no not again. He can't leave me. Not again.'

"Ed, you can't do this-," to me again, the last part spoken with a silently implication. "P-please!"

' He can't leave me. He won't leave me… not again.'

Edward's skin is white as a sheet. His eyes wide and dilated, beautiful golden locks cascading around his shoulders wildly and he's shaking his head 'no' over and over. He wrenches his hand out of Alphonse grasp and backs away, edging towards the door. "I can't do this… I-I-I can't be near you, Alphonse. I-it's not safe."

"Brother… don't leave me." Al, sobs watching Edward taking another step away, almost towards the door now. He flinches outwardly and turns completely from Alphonse gaze, shame displayed in the dip of his shoulders and head.

"I have to, Al." Edward says with his hands balling into tight fights at his sides, his voice broken and cracked. "U-until I conquer this demon residing inside me. I-I think its best—"he pauses, nearly choking on the words leaving his mouth, "I think, it is best if we live separate lives."

There's no time for Alphonse to reply, Edward is stepping forward and opening the door. Al scrambles forward, "Brother, I don't want this." He cries, making Edward pause at the threshold of their shared apartment.

"I know you don't." Ed says softly, his back still facing Alphonse as he visibly shook with restraint to keep himself at bay. "But it's what you need. We are brothers, Alphonse. Nothing more, nothing less, and until I-I can trust myself around you; we can't see each other."

Glancing over his shoulder, Edward manages a fragmented smile that barely lights his eyes, it nearly tears Alphonse heart out of his chest right then and there.

"I'll call you sometime tomorrow…" Edward says with his hands on the door frame. "I-I… I love you Alphonse." he whispers, and Alphonse couldn't help the shiver at the unambiguous emotion in his brother's softly spoken words.

Edward walks out the door without so much as glimpse backwards. The sound of the door closing behind his brother's retreating form is like someone punching Al in the stomach.

"I love you too, Edward." I always will…

A sickening green wave crashes over Alphonses with a single tear slipping silently down his cheeks.

It's all too much.

The guilt.

The want.

The need.

The nausea.

His love for his brother.

His guilt for basically ruining his friendship with Reese.

It's all turning out to be too much to handle for Alphonse's confused mind.

' I must be disturbed… something broken inside me… I'm sick, sick… sick… I just want… want… my family back.'

A broken sob escapes Alphonse when he realizes he has nowhere to turn for comfort. His legs wobble and he slides to the floor with this recognition. Everything settles over him chaotically all at once…

His support nets, the people who were supposed to be there for him to catch him when he falls, essentially combusted into flames and now he found himself alone, standing in a world of soot with no family, nor friends.

'I am utterly and terrifyingly alone.' And it's this thought which spirals him into an uncontrollable hysteria of unimaginable regrets.

To be continued…


If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy

I could have won.

But I gave you all.

Close my eyes for a while

Force from the world a patient smile

But I gave you all

But you rip it from my hands

And you swear it's all gone

And you rip out all I have

Just to say that you've won

Well now you've won


A/N: wow, I let time get away from me on this one. So, very, sorry about the late update. Life is hectic around my house. *throws herself to the floor and begs humbly for your forgiveness.*

I'm not very happy with this chapter, It didn't turn out the way I was hoping. I really hope I didn't slaughter the timing and flow. The people who have already read it told me, I have nothing to worry about but of course, I still worry.

Please enjoy, and don't throw too much hate towards me. :P


Five reviews for update.