Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.


"Look at that, guys!" Stan declared. "That's what you call true works of art!"

"Beautiful," Kyle remarked, "ain't they?"

"Yeah, they're pretty sweet, huh?" Cartman commented.

"Mmff mmff mmff!" Kenny added his opinion, which was muffled from behind his hood.

The four boys were standing by a row of large pumpkins. They'd just been carving them up together for Halloween. With a knife slicing through the surface of the enormous orange fruits, they'd written on them some profane messages and created some vulgar images - the kind which are far too rude to be described in detail in this story!

Each of the pumpkins now had candles inside them. They'd been lit up for the pictures and messages upon them to be illuminated. The boys took in their handy work, all feeling very proud of themselves.

"Yeah, dude!" Stan said cheerily. "No one in South Park has pumpkins that are cooler than ours!"

"They're so big, aren't they?" Kyle murmured. "And pretty fat too!"

"They sure are, Kyle, now that you mentioned it!" Stan nodded. "Although they're nowhere near as fat as Cartman!"

"EY!" Cartman exploded angrily. "Knock it off, Stan! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!"

"You're looking fatter than ever this Halloween, Cartman!" Kyle sneered. "Have you already been stuffing yourself with candy you got from trick-or-treating?"

"Shaddup, Jew!"

While Cartman bickered with Stan and Kyle, Kenny observed the pumpkins which he'd been carving. They were naturally the ones which had the most obscene messages and imagery. He felt he'd done a very good job on them with his knife - considering that whenever he handled such sharp tools, he always ended up having a fatal accident. It looked like he was going to avoid shedding blood this Halloween.

Just then, a figure emerged through the darkness. He made his way across the snowy fields to where the four boys were gathered. All of them recognised him at once.

"Oh hey, New Kid!" Stan called to him. "How's it going?"

The New Kid stopped before the boys. He stood in front of them with an ever-blank stare on his face. As always, he greeted them with complete silence.

"We've just been carving pumpkins for Halloween!" Kyle pointed to the hard work of him and his friends. "What d'you think?"

The New Kid looked at the pumpkins. He wordlessly took in the disgusting messages and crude images which had been carved into them. Whatever he thought of them, he kept his opinions to himself.

"Well we would've asked you to join in with us to carve these pumpkins," Cartman sneered, "but you're far too lame for us, Butthole!"

The New Kid glanced at Cartman. His expression hadn't changed, yet something had been triggered inside him from the insult which had been hurled at him by the obese boy. He turned his attention back to the pumpkins, watching as the light from their candles flickered inside them - then suddenly squatted over the huge fruits.

"New Kid?" Kyle exclaimed, raising his eyebrows. "What are you doing?"

The New Kid didn't answer. He just remained hunched over the pumpkins - as he summoned all his energy in his small body.

"Oh no!" Stan cried, realising in horror what the silent newcomer was preparing to do. "Don't do it, New Kid!"

The New Kid took no notice, clenching his eyes shut as he prepared to blow.

"No!" Cartman wailed. "Nooooooooooooooooo!"

BRRRRRRRRRRP!

KABOOM!

A huge explosion filled the field as the New Kid farted over the pumpkins. Passing his gas over the fruits while they had lit candles flickering inside them had caused them to burst into flames. Every one of the pumpkins was blown into pieces as they blew apart from the inside. They didn't stand a chance against the New Kid's unique gift.

Stan, Kyle and Cartman managed to get themselves away from the blasts - but Kenny was not so lucky. He was caught in the massive fireballs which erupted from the pumpkins. The poor, unlucky kid screamed as flames at away at his body. There was nothing his friends could do as they watched him get burnt to a crisp.

"Oh my God!" Stan yelled. "New Kid ruined our pumpkins!"

"You bastard!" Kyle snapped, shaking his fist at the New Kid.

The New Kid just stared at the other boys, who were all clearly angry at him. He didn't show any regret over what he had done to their hard work. He didn't even seem to feel remorseful for being responsible for Kenny's death. He just made his way out of the field, leaving the three children he'd just inconvenienced behind with the one he'd just killed.

As the flames died down, the boys looked over what was left of their pumpkins. They had all been completely nuked by the blast the New Kid had made with their flames and his fart. All of the pumpkins were now in a sorry state. Almost as much as the burnt remains of Kenny.

"That douchebag!" Cartman roared. "That butthole!"

"I guess we were right not to invite him to come pumpkin carving with us," Kyle muttered bitterly.

"Pumpkin carving?!" Stan burst out. "That was more like pumpkin farting!"

There was a pause - then Cartman, Kyle and Stan laughed over the last two words which had just been said. They snickered and giggled amongst themselves in their childlike manner as rats came into the field, gnawing hungrily on the burnt remains of Kenny and the pumpkins.


THE END