Where's Your Motivation?
Following the events of the previous chapter, Lego hummed as he was sitting down on the bridge of the Airship as it was still grounded in Fontaine, watching more YouTube videos out of boredom instead of writing chapters.
"Oi, dibshit!" Katsuku shouted at Lego, causing the author to sit up and turn around to look at the fused teen. "Where the fuck are our chapters?!" He was also accompanied by a few others, including Tanjiro, Villain Izuku, Bardock, Cell, and surprisingly Rei and Akari from Pokémon Legends: Bullshit.
"What?" Lego questioned as he looked at the group.
"What the fuck are our chapters at?!" Katsuku shouted. "We've been waiting for months, years even! So where the fuck they at?!"
"Oh, that's what this is about," Tanjiro commented as it turns out Katsuku blindly led them here to demand more chapters for their stories. "...yeah, where are they?"
Lego lifted his hand to start talking, before Cell cut him off and said, "And no, this story doesn't count! It only has two followers and Tale anyways!"
The author merely rolled his eyes. "Y'all can't handle the truth."
Katsuku slammed Lego's computer shut. "Try me!"
"You're funny," Lego commented, laughing a bit as he headbutted Katsuku and threw him into a console, which he flipped over and fell into the chair, breaking it.
"He should've saw that coming," Izuku commented.
"Yep," Tanjiro agreed.
"Does he do that a lot?" Rei and Akari asked.
"Yeah/Kinda," Izuku and Tanjiro said at the same time, before looking at each other.
"So, let's explain my writer's block at the moment," Lego began as he stood up and clapped his hands together. "I'm not as excited to write anymore."
"Go figure," Izuku remarked.
"For starters, time is not an excuse," Lego said. "I could legit have finished Katsuku's story by now if I wanted to, maybe even Tanjiro's as well. The excuse I CAN use is that I lack motivation and inspiration to write, because I just simply don't want to sit down and let things flow into my head, nor do I like to write my plans down because that means I can't be as flexible when I try to get to a certain point, especially when I cement it in stone."
"That sounds like bullshit," Cell remarked.
"Well I'm not a wellspring of ideas and OCs," Lego replied dryly. "And besides, when I take into consideration laws and moral when making my chapters, I slowly kill myself just looking at both Katsuku and AQQAAD."
"What?" Bardock was surprised by AQQAAD being brought up.
"Motherfucker, your story is shit," Lego stated. "Like, I'm gonna be real. All of y'all are shit and none of it makes sense!" Lego pointed at Bardock. "For instance, how the fuck does Izuku become a Saiyan? Why is it specifically Izuku and 21? Why do you show up in that world as well as Towa and Mira? WHY THE FUCK IS INOSUKE THERE?! IT MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE, AND THEN EVERYTIME I FORESHADOWED SHIT, IT JUST… UGH…"
"Why is Inosuke in AQQAAD?" Tanjiro asked curiously.
"It was supposed to be a tie-in to your story, which is also another story I want to bring up because unlike the rest, you actually had promise because your concept is actually good and was original," Lego said to Tanjiro. "My only problem is two things. One, you'd become OP damn near instantly, and two, one of the things I considered happening would likely be unable to happen because what would be the point of Muzan's Twelve Kizuki if you could simply tame them? I would have to stop that from happening by making it impossible for you to tame Muzan's Twelve Moons."
"How would he get OP?" Cell questioned.
"By taming all the Demons at the village that Lizzy comes from, they'd all be a mix of powerful and weak ones, and we all know that weak powers together can make strong ones," Lego said. "But I just don't like the story anymore. It doesn't help that the story for it is also less interesting, because all it'd be is My Hero in the 1920s, and some sword fighting. Not really the coolest thing out there."
"What's the problem with my story?" Villain Izuku asked Lego curiously.
"Your story's problem is that you're unoriginal, go figure, and also broken," Lego said. "And no matter how I slice it, you're too OP for me to fix, because you took Toga's ability to 'turn invisible' by tapping into Ultra Instinct to a whole new fucking scale, which can practically make you god. Even without that, your nanos are busted. The only thing that would maybe be interesting would be if I decided to make you waver in the path of villainy because you're in UA, and then have you try to forgive Bakugo to an extent because he wasn't doing it because he hated you, but because of the Meta Liberation Army, but that's horrible."
"WHAT ABOUT MINE?!" Katsuku shouted.
"Your story is just shit, I'm sorry," Lego stated. "Oh, and that scene of you smacking Camie's ass rubbed me the wrong way and lurks in my mind, popping up every so often, so I have no desire to write for you, you fuckin' degenerate."
"YOU WROTE IT!" Katsuku shouted at Lego once more.
"Let me guess… Evil?" Cell questioned, assuming Lego's OC Evil was partially the reason the DAU fic wasn't frequently updated.
"Evil," Lego confirmed with a nod. "Although I'm also writing for your story because of Evil, and to set myself free."
"What?" Everyone questioned.
"Personal issues," Lego answered. "My own shit kinda weighs on my mind, but it's more like I'm clinging to the shit I despise and hate because a part of me can't let it go."
"So you have to murder Evil to move on?" Villain Izuku questioned.
Lego gave another nod. "Precisely. Although other reasons for the DAU fic is just that I'm not that funny and can't write good cringe. I'm not great at making people laugh unless it's something stupid or slightly offensive whilst still staying within my moral code of honor. Turning the DAU fic into a serious story just… isn't what DevilArtemis is. The videos are meant to be stupid, funny, make no sense, whilst still having something of a story."
"...so you're a horrible fan," Cell stated.
"Basically," Lego said, shrugging before sitting back down in his chair. "Pokémon Legends: Bullshit is another story that I actually do want to complete, but I'm still trying to figure out how to handle it since Pokémon battling isn't my forte, and I want to create a story that is somewhat decent whilst also developing more on who I, Lego, am as an OC… at least how I was during that time."
"That's not going so well, is it?" Rei asked Lego.
"I technically have half of chapter 13 written, but it's been like that for months," Lego admitted, before looking out the window, out at the waters that flowed out of Fontaine and to wherever else they may flow in Teyvat. "Hell, writing the chapters for this story isn't going so well either. I have so many different storylines going on, that I'm focusing on the ones that I care for more than the others."
"Still waiting for those chapters," Joker from Persona 5 shouted at Lego as he passed by the bridge at the right time.
"Maybe!" Lego said. "...they might never come because the problem with that storyline is that all of Joker's confidents that are in Persona 5 all remember the events of Persona 5, specifically Persona 5 Royal since that's the storyline I'm using, and then adding Strikers on top of it, and then now Persona 5 Tactica as well with Toshiro and Erina… and then adding the other Persona Wild Cards from Persona 3 and 4 respectively into it because I went back and played Persona 4 Golden, and I got Persona 3 Reload which I still have yet to beat, that's too many people knowing too many things while too many storylines happen at once!"
"Nerd," Bardock and Cell said at the same time as they looked at him.
"Fuck you!" Lego retorted as he pointed at both of them.
"And then the Zombies storyline?" Tanjiro asked.
"We're in Modern Warfare 3 now, and shit is crazy," Lego stated. "To put it into perspective, within the Zombies canon because all the random shit that's in Multiplayer and Warzone is canon to Zombies now, we have sports people, Hip-Hop people, fictional people, anime people, people from movies and TV shows. For pete's sake, we have Skeletor in Call of Duty!"
"Yo, deadass?" Cell questioned.
"Want me to read off the list?" Lego asked.
With Cell and Bardock exchanging glances, Izuku spoke up and said, "Fuck it, hit us with it."
"Paul Pogba, Lionel Messi, Neymar Jr., Shredder from TMNT, Kevin Durant, TimTheTatman and NickMercs who are both streamers, Homelander, Starlight, Black Noir, A-Train, and Firecracker from The Boys, Laura Croft from Tomb Raider, Snoop Dogg, 21 Savage, Nicki Minaj, Spawn from the Spawn comics, Alucard from Hellsing, Skeletor from Masters of the Universe, Lilith and Inarius from Diablo, Ash Williams from The Evil Dead, a Sardaukar soldier, Paul Atreides, and Feyd-Rautha from Dune," Lego listed. "And that's just from Modern Warfare 2 and 3… the new ones at least."
"Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to Call of Duty?!" Cell exclaimed.
"Inflation, capitalism, a hate filled fanbase that isn't satisfied and complains too often, having Warzone exist since it's a rip-off Fortnite… among other things," Lego stated with a hum. "My buddy Shots is hoping Treyarch will fix things, but… well, let's hope so."
"You have friends?" Izuku asked, surprised.
"What, outside of my writing buddies? Of course," Lego answered. "If I say fuck it, I might actually ask Shots to help with TimTheTatman and NickMercs dialogue in a Zombies chapter, since both of them can be used in Modern Warfare 3 Zombies, which is 'canon' to Cold War zombies."
"Goddamn…" Cell commented, clearly fearing the worst.
Lego shrugged as he opened his laptop. "Yep. Now, if y'all fuck off, maybe I'll try writing something… actually, I'mma go apologize to Furina."
"Pardon," everyone said at the same time as they looked at Lego, surprised at what he said, before he disappeared through a portal.
"I'm done pretending," was the last thing he said as he disappeared through the portal that opened up beneath his seat, causing him to fall through it whilst still sitting down in the chair, before the portal closed.
Cell looked at the spot he vanished at, and said, "What happened to her being a bitch?!"
"He probably learned something about her that changed his view on things," Izuku commented. "Still… did not expect that."
"I thought it was obvious," Tanjiro replied. "I mean, he looked devastated in chapter 16, a little past the halfway mark."
"You weren't even there," Katsuku said as he walked up to Tanjiro.
"Yeah, and neither were you, but all know what happened," Tanjiro replied once more.
Katsuku was gonna argue, before pausing and then saying, "True that."
…tada? *shrugs* I don't know what I want to do with this shit anymore.
I mainly just wanted to address all the issues with each of my stories, because fuck each and every single one of them. PL:BS, the DAU fic, and this one are the only ones I actually have shit for because the rest just suck and I wouldn't be able to do the good ones (really only Demon Tamer) justice. AQQAAD is also hands-down the worst of them all because there are too many plot holes and nothing makes sense.
