Taiga Dojo 1

Obligatory Drumroll…

I'm BAAAAAAAACK!-
(A short-haired woman leaps into view, dressed in a white robe and with a wooden bamboo sword in hand.)

?: Whew! It's been far too long since last time! What was it, weeks? But finally, the great Tiger of Fuyuki is back, and the claws are out!

(Taiga looks around, noticing something missing.)
Taiga: Illya? Illy-
(She suddenly looks blank.)

Taiga: Oh. She's… gone, isn't she?

This makes things a lot more difficult…

…Oh! But I have a solution! One second…
(She begins rummaging around out of view, as random objects fly past. Eventually, she comes back dragging some kind of device that resembles a square shower with a bunch of wires and gadgets.)

Taiga: I whipped this up in the case of emergencies of paradoxes… Now just let me turn it on and-
(In a flash of light, she's gone. Suddenly, she emerges, with a smaller figure beside her.)
Taiga: Behold… My TIME MACHINE! I patented this design several months ago, when I started the Taiga dojo. And I bring with me my student, my first… and only, pupil… Say hello, student!
(The girl walks up beside her, her face determined.)
?: I am Illyasviel Von Einzbern, teacher.
Taiga: That's the spirit! Now, I know you're excited to be here, but there's a bit of an elephant in the room.

You're dead.

Illya: I guess I am, technically! But I can explain this one away.

As a homunculus, in almost every universe I'm set on a timer in terms of how long I have to live. This means that in every timeline in which a miracle doesn't occur, I die young, so it's to be expected. Of course, sometimes I get flat-out killed, like in this timeline!

Taiga: But how do you know all that, the audience may ask?

Illya: Good question!

(Illya puts on a pair of convenient Explanation Glasses (Trademark owned by the Tohsaka school of exposition) and pushes them up over her nose.)

Firstly, it's the logic of inference- as a homunculus, it's fact that I'll die sooner than most, so it can be assumed that's the case elsewhere! And secondly, and you would know this, Teacher, this dojo is… how is it best put?

It is linked to other worlds, so to speak.

Taiga: Correct! Allow me to take it from here.

(She slams her bamboo sword upon the floor.)

As the great Tiger of Fuyuki, and master of the Dojo, I am given the power of this place and my role as the great mentor and commentator! This world, this pocket dimension, is linked across time and space, across many universes and timelines!

Illya: And so we can see all of them!

Taiga: CORRECT AGAIN!
Illya: So, teacher, what has been going on in this timeline?

Taiga: Many things, Illya! A second war has begun, and our heroes find themselves fighting the madman, Jack The Ripper! How… Victorian!

Illya: Oh, this reads just like a detective novel! And complete with all the bloodshed of those movies Shirou owns that he never let me watch…

…But I saw them.

(There's an uncomfortable silence.)

Taiga: Back to topic! How do you think they should approach this one, student? Remember what you have been taught- let the blood of the Tiger flow within you!

Illya: Um… A trap? Wait in the bushes, and then pounce, right?
Taiga: CORRECT ONCE MORE! The ideal scenario would be to leap at him while he's unaware, and stab him through that wretched spine from behind!
Illya: Irony, teacher! How fitting!

Taiga: Intentional! (It wasn't, but she wants to sound like it was)

Illya: Do you think they'll pull it off?

Taiga: It is never in our right mind to assume what the outcome will be, student! It goes against our role as the commentator, as the watchers of the chaos!...

…But they're the main characters, so probably. I'd bet on it.

Illya: Is that all, teacher?
Taiga: INDEED!

(She slams the bamboo sword once more for dramatic effect.)
And so concludes our first Taiga Dojo: Remastered! Hosted by moi, and with the help of our newly-reanimated student, I foresee great times of prosperity, knowledge, and incredible insight!

For us, not the characters in the story. No, they're probably going to suffer quite a lot.

CONCLUSION!

(A curtain drops, and the scene ends.)

NOTES

So, before this goes out, I have an update.

My mental health is slipping a little. I've been focusing on staying happy recently, which means I can't pump out my story chapters at the same rate. I'm really sorry, and I want you to know that this really does hurt to have to say, but I've encountered a bit of a hurdle and I just don't feel that the quality would be there if I forced myself to write it.

With that being said, I'd like to introduce a favourite section of the Visual Novel- the Taiga Dojo! From now on, periodically there will be designated Taiga Dojo: Remastered sections where they'll provide commentary on the current situation. These are completely optional and you don't have to read them if you don't want the tone to be disrupted, like in the OG VN, but these also do provide some insight into characters and some behind-the-scenes stuff (At least, that's the plan.)

Thank you all so, so much for sticking with me. To all the followers, the favourites, and the viewers, thank you.

-Jason