Another day, another fucking awful pain from my wrecked arm. Sitting next to my bed was a chipper Gojo, happily enjoying the flagship confections of the town. The sound of his smacking lips as he ate had me grinding my teeth. My instincts insisted this was all on purpose. He had shown up, as asked. We didn't agree on a time, so him breezing through the door at 3 p.m. wasn't unexpected. It was the shopping bags of treats he arrived with that threw me for a loop. The mochi he had left next to my bed remained untouched. He hadn't even greeted me. He just walked through that door and sat his ass down.

The TV in the corner of the room was muted, a man gave interviews to people on the street with blurred faces. The stiff sheets crinkled like paper as I shifted to scowl at the man dead on. Gone was the blindfold, in its place were a pair of sunglasses. Of course, he'd be the kind of asshole to wear sunglasses inside. My scowl deepened as he stuffed another treat in his face. "Would you quit pigging out and fucking talk to me?" I broke the silence and Gojo kept chewing, tapping a finger on his chin like he was considering my demand thoughtfully.

"That depends, you gonna ask me something or just scowl at me while I eat?" Another sweet was tossed into his mouth and he chewed loudly once more. Nose wrinkled in disgust as I watched him consume sugar with the eagerness of a toddler.

"Alright, who the fuck are you? You randomly show up in my room, blindfolded like a freak, and start talking about all this curse nonsense. Spill, before I just label you crazy and call security." I hadn't even finished speaking before he began chuckling. Glowing blue eyes peeked over the edges of his sunglasses, and a chill ran down my spine. For a second, the room felt as though it disappeared around us. The sensation of being above the gaping mouth of a black hole overtook me. Gojo's presence consumed the nothing and everything around me.

Then it was over, the world snapped back like a rubber band. My hands trembled and Gojo looked as if nothing had happened. What the fuck, no way this guy was human. The constant feeling of being in over my head was starting to warp my sense of reality.

"I told you yesterday, I am Gojo Satoru. Did you hit your head fighting that curse?" His words were so casual… He almost made this all sound mundane.

"How do you know I fought it?" Did he hear the horror in my voice? The memory of it, echoes of panic bubbling in my chest. A shaky breath escaped me, the sun filtering in from the window warmed my clammy skin and hi-lighting the white shades of the hospital to a blinding degree.

"Residual cursed energy, y'know hatred, anger, fear. Those negative feelings make up cursed energy, then that nasty stuff makes curses." Gojo was relaxed as ever, and I was starting to think I hated him. Maybe I could have kept pretending if he hadn't walked through that door.

He munched on sweets while I was slowly losing it. Everything in me told me to get out of bed and run. Take my mom and run as far away as possible, so I would never see this man again.

"I didn't even know what a curse was until yesterday…" My fingers curled around the blanket, knuckles turning white. The sting in my eyes were the threat of tears, I refused to be any weaker.

"Well, cursed energy is everywhere, and people like me, use it to exorcise those curses." Dark lenses stared straight at me, I could feel his intense gaze on me. Like being dissected. What did he see when he analyzed me like that? "You could do it too, you know. Fight back instead of running." Straight white teeth showed themselves as they sunk into a pastry. My grimace was instant, but I couldn't deny it. I didn't want to keep running away. The curses were going to be there, whether I fought back or not.

The pain in my arm seemed to radiate in response. Having chosen to fight back nearly cost me my arm, but choosing to run nearly costed me my life. How the fuck was I supposed to do that, fight those things and put myself in harms way. They were everywhere. What about mom, she couldn't do anything about those things… "I'm not gonna be fighting shit with this bum arm. You said you were the strongest, right? What do you need me for?"

"I don't need you, and I definitely don't need someone who has enough sense not to get swept up in all this. It's dangerous, deadly, and you'll be alone for most of it. Not much different than you are now. You can learn to protect yourself, choose your own fate, or remain at the mercy of the next curse that finds you and your family." Gojo stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. He stood tall with a relaxed posture that only came when you knew you were unshakeable.

I wanted to demand he sit back down, that he tell me everything he knew. He couldn't just leave me here, broken, in this bed. I choked back a noise as Gojo left, the door clicking shut behind him. Mercy?! He was toying with me. There was no mercy in this world, I knew thath already. My head lifted top see the card where the mochi once was. It had his name and a phone number. With shaking fingers, I reached for the card. The paper high quality and smooth, the numbers raised slightly above flush. Somehow, it felt like it weighed more than I could carry.

Mercy, fate, as if I believed in any of that shit. I knew there was only one thing life had to offer, and that was death. Could I choose my own end?


We said nothing for a long time. It seemed my mom had come to some realizations too. The cast was cumbersome, the sling dug into my neck, and the pain was dull but persistent. Mom looked at everything but me, still bothered by my injury. The panic over my ordeal numbed with each passing day, replaced by frustration as I discovered every new inconvenience my injury posed. I'd have to figure it out on my own—mom was due at work soon.

"Mija, I made food for you, it's frozen right now, but just put it in the microwave when you want to eat. I wrote down the number for the salon, please call me if anything happens. Please just-" My mother's ranting was cut short by the crash of the chair behind me. I hadn't even realized I was on my feet. My chest heaved, staring at her with dark eyes.

"I'm fine. You don't need to baby me." Each word passed through gritted teeth as I willed my heart to settle and my muscles to relax. Amá pressed her lips together, the thoughts broadcasted on her face. Wrinkles that had never existed before, pulled at the corner of her eyes. Somewhere inside of me, the urge to yell at her until she left, lingered.

"I'm going to work then, don't leave the house. Te quiero, mi corazon." The front door shut behind her by the time I had noticed. No jewelry, no makeup, something was different about her. I didn't want things to be different when I got home. I wanted to walk back into the shitty life I had unknowingly left behind.

My body stiffly left the kitchen, abandoning the fallen chair. The living room, mindless TV. That's what I needed. Sitting on the ratty old couch, bracketed with used seats from the salon waiting room. It was awkward with my cast, trying to find the right way to sit. Sometimes I'd forget and try to use it, only to feel the sensation of my arm pinned to my torso. My mother's word, her calling me her heart. I never could understand her. She would have been better off if she left me behind too. Everyone looks at her like some trashy teen mom, after assuming we're sisters.

The television murmured with confusing variety shows, celebrities I'd never heard of commenting on grainy videos of people making common mistakes. Sitting stiffly as I was, I couldn't could bring myself to lose focus. My eyes stared through the TV as thoughts of the burden of living, placed on me, surfaced beneath the veil I had put over them. Memories best left buried…


The crying, she won't stop crying. I sat with my back to the door of my parent's bedroom, arms looped around my knees as I held them close to my chest. "Mami, a-are you alright?" I asked, but I knew she couldn't hear me with all the wailing she was doing. The pictures that lined the walls, the ones with us as a family, had been torn off the walls. There had been broken glass everywhere when I got home from school. I cleaned it up after I washed the milk from my hair. Some boys held me down while a girl poured her milk on me. Mom told me not to get into trouble at school…

The bare walls looked foreign, nails ripped from the wall left small holes where cracks webbed out. Papi wasn't coming back. He'd been gone for months, I knew it before Mami did, it seemed, she had kept telling me that he would come back. I could feel the chill of the floor seeping into my socks. All she did was cry now, Papi did awful stuff all the time. Like when he would come home and tell us there was no money. I hated that, all we'd eat was rice and I wouldn't have money for lunch at school. Maybe it was better without Papi.

My forehead pressed against my knees, my chest tightening as I heard my mother cry his name. The tremble in my shoulders grew as heat stung behind my eyes. I didn't want to be like Mami, if we were both crying…then nothing would get done. Mami shouldn't cry for him… I wasn't going to.

Soft hair slipped between my fingers as I pulled on my curls, the sting of my scalp meant to distract me. No crying, no crying.

I slid on the smooth floor as I bolted from my spot by the door. My chest was tight, I couldn't breathe. I needed to breathe. Air, fresh air. The apartment disappeared around me. Suddenly I was outside, no shoes, no air. The town, trees, rushing past me and I could still hear her cries. Mami's wailing, calling for a man who wasn't coming back. A man who only gave false promises.

Still, as I ran, I couldn't shake the feeling of him, his warm hand in my hair. The smile on his face when he made me laugh at nothing at all. My stomach twisted, and I felt stomach acid burn at the base of my throat.

Asphalt turned to cobblestone, buildings turned sparse as trees sprouted up around me. The contents of my stomach, undigested rice, spilled over the grass. Snot dripped from my nose, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes as I heaved. The pitiful sobs escaped between releases of my sick. "Papi, papi, I hate you." I rasped, wiping the mess from my face with the back of my sleeve.

The cry of birds filed the air, the trees covered the area with cold shade. Once I stood upright, I realized where I was. Though the well was unfamiliar to me, I had heard of it regularly. This was where the kids at school would do their test of courage. In the daylight, it was just an old well, long empty and abandoned. The barely visible cobblestone was overgrown with grass. A mouse darted across my feet, socks filthy as I stepped over the puddle of my sick. Some bravery it took to come here. I could feel it in the air. There was fear here. The sound of grass swishing underfoot was all I could here as I approached the well and peered down. That was where the fear was the most concentrated. Down at the bottom, a creature writhed, she looked like a girl with a white dress. I knew from looking at her, this was a monster. "Don't leave me, don't leave me!" She wept, hands covering her face, and I watched her with dull eyes.

"Oh, look, a lost little monkey." A deep voice came from behind me, and a hand grabbed the back of my shirt and lifted me from the ground. I was too shocked to protest, until I was faced with narrow, dark eyes. My struggles were useless as he analyzed me. "Where did you come from, here to test your courage?" He seemed both disgusted and intrigued.

"P-put me down!" I squirmed midair, confused and angry. "Who are you calling a monkey, you crazy old man?" He chuckled in my face before dropping me to the ground.

"Pathetic. Leave this place. I'm busy." His back turned to me, and I finally got a good look at him. He stood tall, with baggy clothes that looked like he was like some sort of monk. Dark hair hung around his shoulders, while a little bun kept the rest from his face. This jerk couldn't just tell me to leave. Who was he anyway?

"Busy in a place like this… You really are crazy." The stranger didn't react, he only stared down the well. He couldn't see what I saw, the monster weeping at the bottom of the well. No one ever did. I watched as he leaned over the edge, his arm reaching inside. "Wait, what do you think you're doing!" My hands desperately grabbed the back of his clothes and I pulled with all my might to keep him from falling in. He shoved me off of him with no issue, a mysterious object in his hand he swallowed whole. I stared on in horror at the sight.

"I thought I told you to leave." The sharpness of his words cut right to my core, leaving me feeling stupid for even trying to intervene.
"Whatever, fall in, see if I care." I scrambled away from him, the distance making me feel no safer than I had seconds ago.

"You're wasting your time, the weak have no business trying to save anyone, especially not their betters." With that he walked off, and I like an idiot, followed. Yet, somehow, right before me, he took off into the darkness of the woods and left me alone once more.

"Monkey man!" I called, and no one answered.


The sound of the phone jolted me back to the present. How long I had been sitting there, staring into nothing, I had no idea. My body protested against any movement, I had been still long enough to make myself sore, that much I knew. With a soft click, I lifted the cold plastic to my face. "Reyna, how are you?" It was my mother, and the tightness in my chest loosened ever so slightly. My eyes darted to the clock to see it was her lunch hour.

"Why are you calling? I'm fine." My words were harsh, my tone was…softer than this morning. There was a small pause, she was choosing what to say next. "Seriously, you've been gone for what, a few hours? Get it together." The phone was pinned between my good shoulder and my cheek as I absently twirled the phone cord with my finger.

"I was worried, can't a mom worry. By the way, a friend of yours from school stopped by the salon. They said they had homework for you so you don't fall behind." Her voice was tight, she was trying not to cry on the phone, and I rolled my eyes on my end of the receiver. I didn't have friends from school. Some poor chump probably was tasked with delivering school work to me. Poor sap. "I gave him our address so he could drop them off with you. Just…so you know who's coming. I'll be home soon." I leaned over to look at the door. How did this kid know where my mom worked anyway…?

"Fine, I'll just send him packing. I don't give a crap about assignments anyway." My pinky nail scratched at my ear, and Amá gave a long-suffering sigh. This felt almost nice, without her being right in front of me. If I was stupid enough to pretend, I could imagine this was how things always went. No micro expressions, no overwhelming emotions.

"Reyna, I don't want you to give up on an education. You have your whole life ahead of you. It won't be this way forever, you'll move on to better things." The plastic phone creaked ominously in my grip, a scowl spreading across my face.

"Whatever, I'm hanging up now."

"I love you."

click*

I wasn't too surprised when there was a knock at the door, though it was right after I hung up. My steps were unhurried as I ambled to the door, and cracked it open to peek through the gap. The boy that stood on the other side of the door was one I didn't recognize. Though, I hardly took the time to recognize my classmates. When I cycled through so many schools, I stopped caring, their faces blurred together. Yet his appearance was distinct, long red hair that was pulled into a braid he had to throw over his shoulder, eyes that were an amber color, and a face that looked like it belonged on billboards. Goosebumps broke out on my skin as I categorized his features, hair on the nape of my neck standing on end.

"Vaca-san, I'm Matsushita Nao. I have some class work for you." He was polite, his uniform was neat, but I couldn't picture him at a desk, listening to a teacher drone on about math. Something about his posture, it was too familiar. Matsushita was relaxed, the same way Gojo was. The kind of looseness that only came with unshakeable confidence. He didn't tower over me like Gojo did.

"Well, find the nearest compost and dump it there." I didn't open the door any further, not wanting to be seen in this state. Injured, broken, weak… Matsushita's face twitched ever so slightly, and I could feel the barest hint of irritation rolling off him. Surprisingly, that was all I could get from him. Normal people felt their emotions freely, some people's emotions were overwhelming, but this guy…he was nothing. He kept his emotions hidden. I couldn't sense anything. It would have been a relief if it wasn't so strange.

"Vaca-san, I couldn't do that in good conscience. Your mother told me she was glad to see your sensei wanted to keep you updated on class work. She was very nice, you know." Something felt off about him bringing up my mother. My hand curled around the handle to the front door, ready to slam it in his face. "She warned me you'd be shy." Shy? What the fuck did he say?

"I'm not shy, I'm just not keen on letting a stranger into my home. That uniform doesn't mean shit to me. I don't even recognize you from class." Despite my initial skepticism, I opened the door so he could see the disdain on my face.

"Wow, that actually kinda hurts my feelings. I've been sitting next to you since the start of the school year. We haven't spoken a lot because… well, I assumed you didn't know much Japanese." His expression turned from polite, to almost sheepish. The void of his nothing, did not reflect this change. The door opened further.

"I know three languages, just because I'm a foreigner doesn't mean I'm ignorant." Curiosity killed the cat. He was gonna go back talking about how awful the gaijin was handling suspension. "You gonna keep standing there like a fucking idiot, or are you gonna come inside Matsushita?" He nodded, and walked in, not saying a word about my cast. My body was still tense, yet, I found myself surprisingly relieved. Matsushita seemed smart enough not to bring it up.

"Three languages, huh? Impressive. Maybe I'll come to you for help with my English homework." He chuckled, setting a stack of paper onto the table before bending down to pick up the chair on the ground to take a seat.

"I'm not helping you with shit. After this, I don't want to see you around here. I still have a week to go before they make me go back, and I'd like to spend it without nosy strangers hanging around."

"Not a stranger~" He leaned back in the chair, setting it on the back two legs as he tilted his head to regard me with open curiosity. It made me hyper aware of my appearance. What did he see when he looked at me? Some weakling with lame arm…? A fat foreigner who's main source of nutrition is rice? I sneered at him, bristling at his study of me.

"Quit staring." It was hard to be threatening with one working arm.

"Apologies, it's just… you don't look much like your mother. Now that I've met her, I can see it now." Matsushita tapped his chin in thought, and I grabbed the stack of papers and tossed them into the bin. He didn't look surprised, it was burning me up inside, I didn't know what he was feeling right now. The comparisons were frequent, I knew my mother was pretty. The amount of married men slipping my mother their phone numbers to her while their wives got their pedicures made me sick. There was no shortage of stares at her. I didn't give a fuck if he didn't think I was as pretty as her.

"You've done what you came here for. Now get the fuck out." He had the audacity to smile at me. I was ready top punch his fucking lights out.

"Very well, Vaca-san. It seems I struck a nerve." The thud of the chair legs hitting the wooden floor filled the silence between us as he stood. That relaxed posture, the absolute nothing that came off of him. There was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on, and I hated it. He lingered by the door, looking back at me for a brief moment. "You're much prettier than I'd thought you'd be, by the way." The door closed behind him and my fist slammed on the table.

"Fucking creep, stupid weirdo. I'm gonna kick his ass at school." I growled, body shaking as if I were about to collapse. The pressure I hand't noticed in the room lifted and my began to expand fully. I glared at the trash bin, full of assignments I wasn't even going to bother with.