Izuku!Subaru: Just chillin', proud of himself for finishing the training for OFA.

Me: *throws angst grenade*

Special thanks to Writermakeshift for beta-reading.


VI. My Revelation, Part II

"My name is Shimura Nana. I'm the seventh user of One for All."


One for All...

"...what...?"

One for All...

What did he just hear?

ONE FOR ALL...

The moment those three words left the woman's mouth, they began echoing over and over again throughout Subaru's head, and with his entire thought process completely dissolved, he involuntarily took a step back in shock. He could only react by continuing to stare at her—a Japanese stranger who, just a moment ago, looked and sounded so unmistakably like Rem.

And if this wasn't her, then...

"Who are you?" he whispered.

"Nana Shimura," the woman answered patiently, and was now holding her arms up and slowly walking towards him. "I know this is hard to take in, but whatever place you think this is, it isn't it. You're somewhere else entirely."

No. No, he refused to believe it. That couldn't be true.

Subaru turned tail and ran.

Where was Emilia?

He kept running, kept pushing himself to go as fast as possible so he could get to Emilia's room on the second floor. But when he reached the base of the stairs, he was stopped in his tracks by the woman turning the corner, as if she had been there the entire time, and not just in the dining room.

"Midoriya, please, just listen—"

"No!" Subaru cried, immediately turning back around and started going back the way he came.

He needed Beako. He needed Ram, Roswaal, anyone!

One upon a time, Subaru would have been able to immediately figure out which door led to the Great Library, but as he was trying to get away from the woman, Subaru was instead opening every single door that he could, in the hopes that one of them would lead to his tsundere loli. But door after door led to nothing but empty rooms, empty storages, and an empty kitchen, and he eventually found himself back in the manor's dining room.

But the moment he stepped foot back inside, however, the furniture, the table, the walls, the ceiling...patches of white appeared in everything around him, which were growing more and more as each moment passed. Eventually, the entire manor was completely covered in white, only for it to shimmer away, leaving Subaru with the sight of a white abyss that seemed to stretch on forever.

"No, no, no, no, no..."

Subaru dropped to his knees.

This wasn't Lugunica.

"Please, please, please..."

He held his head in his hands, his fingers tightening around his eyes and temples.

He was never going back. He was never going to see them again.

This couldn't be happening this couldn't be happening THIS COULDN'T BE HAPPENING—!

"Midoriya! Please! Snap out of it!"

Subaru quickly found himself restrained by the woman, and at first, he violently thrashed about to try and escape, but as the seconds passed, his attempts grew weaker and weaker, before his body finally went slack. The uncomfortable feeling in his chest grew and grew, until he could do nothing else but scream out into the void.


Shit.

Nana should've known from the moment this weird house manifested in Midoriya's mindscape that something was off. But in her fascination with her surroundings and the change in her appearance, she ended up exploring a bit of the place, even 'making' some tea in the kitchen and marveling at the unique taste it had.

She already knew what the kid looked like from seeing him through Toshi's eyes, but when she saw a completely different teenager walk into the dining room, she just assumed that he was just doing some kind of roleplay, or that he was experimenting with what he could do, since he had full control over what his mindscape looked like.

But based on how he reacted when she had looked like that blue-haired maid, it was clear that the kid had a lot going on with him.

Nana couldn't exactly pry, so she tried to clear up the situation and tell him what was really going on so that she could actually get her job done and tell him he had One for All. But obviously, that ended up going off the rails six ways to Sunday. And because this place technically wasn't real, all she had to do was think, and she reappeared just ahead of him so that she could try to block his way, but Midoriya just up and ran all back to the dining room.

As she slowly followed him, she was able to tell by the way he kept expecting to find something behind every door he opened, that he was looking for someone, but who? Who was he expecting to find when it was just the two of them?

And then, she watched as he started to lose it before she finally thought to step in and hold him in place, until he finally gave up and started crying.

She never had this reaction when she met Diagoro, so what the hell happened for him to be like this? She wasn't about to assume that Toshi made a mistake in choosing his successor, but man, did it look like her work was cut out for her.

Right now, it didn't matter if the kid was unstable—whatever it was he was going through from being here, then the very least Nana could do was try to comfort him. She could figure out where to go from there once he finally calmed down.


Emptiness.

There were no other words to describe how Subaru felt.

No sadness, no anger, just...emptiness.

He thought he was over it. He thought, after fifteen years of trying to sort through his feelings on his own and trying to find closure through secret letters, that he was finally able to move on and make the most of his new life as Midoriya Izuku. But as he continued lying on what was probably the ground and staring off into the endless abyss of...whatever this place was, he realized that he never once truly lost hope that he would see everyone again.

And today, that changed. When he woke up in his room and saw Rem just casually sipping tea, he really, truly thought that he had had just one extremely long dream, maybe even a Trial he had no memory of entering.

He should've known better than to think his heart's prayers were answered.

Fate pulled him from Earth into another world, only to spit him back out. And now, it was mocking him for everything he had lost by showing him what he desperately wanted. He should've known that it was too good to be true. He shouldn't have gotten his hopes up after waking up in the body of Natsuki Subaru again for no apparent reason. He should've known better when he was in Japan in one moment, only to be back in the other world the next.

He didn't know what to do anymore. He just wanted to disappear. He couldn't even muster up the strength to kill himself—not that Return by Death would let him, anyway. So he continued staring into the white void, wishing everything was back to the way it was.

Wishing that none of this ever happened and that he was still with everyone he knew and loved.

Wishing that he had just stayed dead and was never reborn as Midoriya Izuku.

(Wishing that Satella had never summoned him in the first place.)

He didn't know how much time passed. It could've been minutes. It could've been hours. But he did nothing else but wish and wish and wish

"Nenkororo, mame na yō ni. Nenkororon, nenkororon..."

Subaru was forced out of his thoughts by the sound of the soft singing coming from above him, and he was suddenly made aware of his head sitting in someone's lap, while a foreign hand was gently running its fingers through his hair. He slowly turned his head, and saw the stranger (Shimura Nana, he finally remembered), who was now softly smiling at him.

"I used to do this for my son Kōtarō, whenever he couldn't sleep or was throwing a tantrum," she said.

Subaru turned to look back at the void.

(He couldn't find it in him to tell her that he didn't ask and that he didn't care.)

"...do you feel better?"

"..."

"...it's okay if you don't want to right now," Shimura continued. "But this is the kinda thing you need to talk about with someone. Someone you feel comfortable sharing this with."

"...why...?"

"...I'm sorry...?"

With tears pooling in his eyes, Subaru forced himself to break away from Shimura's hold and stand up to look Shimura in the eye. "Why did you have to look like her?!" he yelled, grabbing onto the white cloth that was the cape on her shoulders.

"Why did...you...Rem..." With the pain he felt in his chest overwhelming him, Subaru broke into sobs, dropping to his knees and loosening his grip on Shimura.

At some point in his crying, he felt her arms envelop him, and she pulled him closer into an embrace. "Rem was someone you lost, wasn't she?" she whispered in his ear. "Someone you loved."

"I couldn't save her..." Subaru croaked, his arms going slack.

"She wouldn't want you to keep living in the past like this, Midoriya-kun."

Subaru said nothing to Shimura as he closed his eyes. He forgot what Rem looked like before...before this...and now, even when someone else wore it, her face was just burned into his memory.

"I just wanted to help. I just...I wanted to...so why—?!"

Why did this have to happen to him? He did everything he could so that everyone he cared about would make it out okay. For them, he lived and died and lived and died AND LIVED AND DIED—

"It's okay, now," Shimura said. She was now slowly rubbing circles on his back, and Subaru couldn't help but lean more into her arms. "I'm sure you don't believe me, but I understand."

"You don't even know the first thing about me," Subaru weakly protested.

"Then why don't you tell me?" Shimura gently retorted, pulling away from him, but keeping her hands on his shoulders. "We have all the time in the world."


"My name...used to be Natsuki Subaru."

And then Subaru proceeded to tell her everything.

About how he grew up living up to (and how he eventually became suffocated by) his father's reputation and expectations for him. About how he found himself in an entirely different world. About how he did whatever he could to help Emilia become Queen. About how he suffered and died more times than he could count with each Return by Death loop.

And about how his soul was forced back into Earth and shoved into the newborn that was supposed to be Midoriya Izuku.

Shimura listened to everything he had to say patiently, only asking questions here and there. Subaru choked back tears when he mentioned finding Rem comatose and kissing Emilia for the first time, and she only responded by giving him the embraces he recognized that Naoko and Inko would give him. When he talked about his worst deaths, his body threatened to close up, but Subaru steeled himself, balled his shaking hands into fists, and kept pushing forward.

After what felt like an eternity later, he was finally finished telling her his life story, and his body felt...at ease, almost as if a heavy weight was taken off his shoulders.

"...you've been through so much," Shimura finally said. "Honestly, it's a bit hard to believe you got sent to another world and back, but with the way you spoke...I believe you. Thank you for telling me all this."

"Well—it's not every day a guy like me can get this kind of therapy," Subaru replied, cracking a smile. "But thanks for listening to me."

Shimura gave him a smile of her own. "You're welcome." After a moment of silence between them, she spoke again. "Do you know why you're here, Mido—Natsuki-kun?"

"It's because I have One for All now, right?" Subaru asked. "You were the one who had it before Yagi-sensei did and passed it onto him. And I don't mind if you call me Midoriya," he added.

He watched as Shimura's eyebrows raised at his words, and before Subaru could ask her if something was wrong, he felt something inside him shift. He looked down, and almost jumped in fear when he saw his clothes had changed from his black tracksuit, to the green one he was wearing before all of this. He kept looking down at himself with wonder for another moment, before he got the idea to reach up and pull down a bit of his hair, confirming that his body had now changed to that of Izuku's.

"Looks like you're not as against being Midoriya Izuku as much as you thought," Shimura remarked.

"...I guess..."

"Anyway," she continued. "You're right in that it's because of One for All, but that's not all of it—everything that's happened so far has only been in your head. Like a lucid dream."

"...yeah, I figured that was it," Subaru sighed.

So this place was basically like Echidna's Castle of Dreams, huh?

"In here, you have the ability to talk to me because you're the ninth user. Toshi probably hasn't told you yet, but when I gave him One for All, a bit of my—well I guess you could it a soul—got imprinted into the actual Quirk. Usually, it's a bit of a vote on who gets to talk to new users, but the others thought I was the one you needed."

"Wait, others?" Subaru asked incredulously. "As in all the users who came before? Is Yagi-sensei here too?"

Shimura's response was tentative. "He...should be. We still haven't figured out the why, but the imprints don't start to manifest until after the actual person dies."

...huh.

"So I guess I can talk to the other users whenever I want?"

"You can, yeah," Shimura replied. "If you ever need help with One for All, or if you just want someone to talk to. But I think right now, you want to get out of here."

Subaru tilted his head in confusion. "What? I thought I was gonna be here until I woke up on my own."

"I mean, you could." She stood up and started stretching her body. "But since this is caused by the Quirk, you can kind of, just, punch your way out of here. You know what I mean?"

Ah, okay. He understood, now.

"You mean I can just...?" He made a punching motion with his arm.

"Yeah."

"...right. Guess I'll do that, then." Subaru stood up from where he was sitting, pausing for a moment when he realized that he wasn't met with his legs having been half-asleep from sitting cross-legged for so long, before he gave Shimura a deep bow. "Thank you, Shimura-san. For helping me out."

"It's no problem, kid, really," she replied, flashing him a grin. "And remember—just because you can talk to us here doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to Toshinori out there. I mean, he's mentoring you, isn't he?"

Subaru nodded. She was right—not only did All Might take a big risk in telling him about One for All and giving it to him, but he also told him about his own life. Because of that, he knew that the man was someone who would be willing to hear him out about his problems.

(To be honest, he still wasn't comfortable with sharing everything like he was in here, but he liked to think that it was an inevitability.)

When he turned around, he paused in a moment of surprise at the sight of a large, wooden door that hadn't been there before, a good distance away. And in front of said door, was what looked to be a giant, metal padlock, but without a keyhole. At first, he would've been puzzled on how to actually open said door (that obviously represented his way out), but with what Shimura told him, he knew what he needed to do.

Balling his right hand into a fist, Subaru felt his entire arm fill up with a strange kind of heat, and when it reached its peak, he took a step forward.

It didn't matter if he left everyone behind, or if he was never going to see them again.

A few more steps, and Subaru was now in a full-blown sprint, his strides becoming larger and larger with each passing second.

What mattered was how he moved forward and honored their memory.

The same heat that filled Subaru's arm now also filled his legs, and he leaped a great height into the air, rearing his fist back as he came closer and closer to his target.

He opened his mouth, and with a mighty roar that would have intimidated even the likes of the Lugunican Royal Guard, brought his fist down on the door with all the strength, hope, fear, and pain of his past life.

"SMASH!"


If any of the other imprints were to show up and tell Nana she looked shocked, she would've smacked them upside the head for stating the most obvious understatement of the last two hundred years.

But still, she thought to herself, smiling at how the kid used One for All for the first time. Looks like there was nothing to worry about.

Midoriya (Natsuki? She wasn't sure anymore.) poured his heart out to her, and she would've been lying if she said it didn't do something to her maternal instincts. For a second, she thought he'd end up trying something, but it turned out that all he needed was a shoulder to cry on. The idea of a teenager going through what he did made her worry about how Kōtarō's life went after she died in the real world, but...she didn't deserve to know with the way she left him behind, did she?

"Well, that certainly was...interesting."

"I'll say," Nana snorted, looking to her left to see the figure of Shigaraki Yoichi materializing next to her. "Still—an isekai protagonist, huh? Not even you could top that." She really did expect to only have to show him the ropes about One for All, and not for this to end up being a glorified therapy session, but...it all worked out in the end, right?

Yoichi chuckled. "Yes, that's true. My brother was at least still human, in the end." With that, he waved his arm, and Nana couldn't help but notice how an ominous feeling slowly filled the immediate area.

"At least now we have a name for our uninvited guest."

Nana turned around, and was met with the sight of a woman she didn't recognize, but with a quick glance at her hair, clothing, and behavior matching the description of someone Midoriya talked about, her eyes hardened when she realized who it was she was looking at.

"Subaru...Subaru...Subaru..." Satella, the Witch of Envy, murmured over and over again, seemingly relaxed in contrast to the ropes keeping her arms and legs bound.

"Subaru..."


If you check out this chapter in AO3, you'll see some unfinished art of this chapter I'm having commissioned.

The words 'nenkororo, mame na yō ni. Nenkororon, nenkororon,' are from a Japanese lullaby called the Chūgoku Region Lullaby. You know, for that maximum weeb immersion (and also because the translated English lyrics look awkward asf).

I'll see if I can get another chapter of this out before New Year's, or if I'll finally feel like working on my JJBA fic again.

Stay tuned.