This was originally posted as chapter 23 of the "Short & Sweet" series and takes place right after "Scorched Earth" (season 13, episode 1) when Olivia finds out that Elliot has put his papers in and she cries in the interrogation room. This was another episode that broke my heart because she was crying alone, so I wanted to change that. And this was Amanda's very first episode of the series and I wanted her to start becoming close with Olivia right away.

"Short & Sweet" was a series of mostly standalone one-shots (but sometimes a storyline would stretch out for a few chapters). A lot of these chapters are episode-related and deal with the angst and emotional hurt/comfort of a particular scene. I'm working on editing some stories that aren't a part of this series, though. I'm going to post "A Christmas Connection" on November 1st (I figured I should wait until Halloween is over, although it's been edited and ready to go for the past few days, lol) and there are some other stories I'm working on as well.


"No, I'll go. Give me five and we'll roll."

Amanda nods in acknowledgement to what her new colleague has just said, watchful blue eyes tracking the tall, curvy figure of Olivia Benson as she strides quickly out of the squad room and down the hallway. Flipping idly through some paperwork on a desk that has yet to be properly organized while Fin and Munch converse amongst themselves, she is unsure of whether to feel disappointed or relieved that Olivia has offered to go out into the field in her place for their latest call.

A part of her is ready to jump into their newest case with both feet, eager to keep proving herself as a worthy detective amidst people who are much older and more experienced than she is, and always willing to sink her teeth into another assignment. They have just wrapped up her first case ever at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, and she doesn't want to admit that her usually boundless energy is already flagging, the stress of the recent big move from Atlanta to New York creating an immense amount of exhaustion.

Although excited to be starting a new life in this city and grateful to be far away from the toxic and occasionally terrifying environment of her previous precinct, it's taking some time to get settled in properly. Frannie is not adjusting well to the change of scenery and routine and has kept Amanda awake most nights since arriving from down south, and she has discovered that some of her boxes seem to have mysteriously disappeared on their way from her previous living quarters. Add to that the frequent nightmares and occasional flashbacks that are still plaguing her after spending years working under the command of Deputy Chief Charles Patton, and Amanda is pretty much at the end of her rope.

Despite the varied and complex issues she is currently facing, she is determined to not only succeed but also flourish in New York, resolving to keep pushing the negative issues deep down inside and just get on with her life. Amanda is aware that this attitude is certainly not the healthiest way to go about things while moving forward, but she wants nothing more than to put the unfortunate events of Atlanta behind her and move on with what she is sure will be the most challenging and fulfilling job opportunity she has ever had.

As of this very moment, however, she is much more concerned about her idol and fellow detective than she is for herself, craning her neck and frowning in confusion as she watches Olivia duck into a nearby interrogation room instead of heading into the bathroom where Amanda had assumed she was going. The object of her affection and awe looks downright miserable and devastated, in spite of Olivia's obvious attempts to prove otherwise; Amanda taking a great amount of pride in her ability to get an accurate read on people.

She mumbles something to Fin and Munch about needing to step out for a minute to use the washroom, both men murmuring absently in reply before returning to their conversation and Amanda throwing a glance into her new boss' office as she hurries after Olivia. Cragen looks both distracted and disturbed as she walks by, Amanda aware of the tension and turmoil that Elliot Stabler's departure has caused for their team but not too clear on many of the details. All she knows for sure is that Olivia has just lost her partner of a dozen years and can't be feeling too good about everything that has transpired lately, Amanda intent on providing any comfort and assurance that the brunette might need.

She hesitates at the closed door of the interrogation room, her usual confidence dwindling momentarily when she hears what sounds like a stifled sob from within, and chewing thoughtfully on her lower lip while trying to make a decision. Amanda is not usually one for letting other people have their personal space and privacy if something is wrong and needs to be dealt with, always committed to helping make things right unless it is she herself who is going through something, and then all bets are off.

It occurs to Amanda that Olivia might be just as private as she is and may not want to be interrupted while dealing with whatever has just happened in Cragen's office, scraping the toe of one shoe across the linoleum floor as she thinks. When another soft cry sounds from inside the room, Amanda blows out a concerned breath and places her hand on the door knob, turning it cautiously before easing the door open and peering into the dim interior.

Olivia has her back to the door and doesn't seem to be aware of her presence just yet, Amanda's heart aching as she observes the older woman's shoulders shaking while she cries, and her hands twitching with the effort to stop herself from reaching out to pull Olivia into a tight embrace. Although she feels like she has known the brunette for years due to the numerous articles she has read and the news segments she has watched, Amanda knows that this could very well be considered overstepping her boundaries, as she is still a virtual stranger to this woman.

Deciding to make her presence known, since Olivia appears to be too wrapped up in her grief to notice her, Amanda clears her throat softly and winces when the other woman jumps and whirls around with a startled expression on her tear-streaked face.

"Rollins, what are you doing in here?" Any judgment or anger that might be residing in Olivia's tone at Amanda's intrusion into this private moment is diluted with the heartbreaking whimper that immediately emits from her throat after she has spoken.

"I just want to help," Amanda replies gently, raising her hands into the air in a non-threatening gesture as she takes a step toward Olivia and closes the door behind her, effectively sequestering them from the rest of the squad.

"Help with what?" Olivia scoffs shakily as she drags an arm over her cheeks, smearing both tears and makeup across her skin.

"With whatever is going on," Amanda says quietly, her fingers skimming the material of her colleague's blazer as she briefly reaches out a comforting hand before letting her arm drop back down to her side.

"Whatever is going on is absolutely none of your business, Rollins." Olivia's voice is flat when she answers, the hint of a snarl evident beneath her words.

"Okay, sorry," Amanda murmurs in contrition as she watches Olivia's gaze drop to the ground and another tear leak from her eye, longing to pull the taller woman into her arms and wipe away any more of the salty liquid that breaks free. "You looked upset when you walked away and I saw you come in here instead of going into the bathroom. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Olivia's large dark eyes swing up to meet her own blue ones, Amanda nearly reduced to tears herself at the sheer amount of anguish and vulnerability that she sees dwelling in the depths of her gaze. The brunette heaves a sigh before slumping into a sitting position on the table, her head hanging low and thick waves of hair obscuring her contorted features, the toe of Amanda's shoe dragging along the floor again as she tries to decide how best to proceed from here.

When Olivia doesn't speak right away to indicate whether she would prefer that Amanda stay or go, she slowly eases herself down beside her fellow detective, overcome with sympathy and compassion and desperate to make things at least a little more bearable for her. She takes a chance and lays a tender hand on Olivia's forearm, once again moving at a languid pace to give her colleague time to pull away or voice her need for Amanda to leave, relieved when Olivia just sighs again and actually shifts the tiniest bit toward her.

"I know I'm new here and we're still getting to know each other but if you want to talk, I would be more than happy to listen," Amanda says softly, pretty sure that she can feel an actual physical pain piercing her chest as she listens to another stifled sob. "Whatever you say will stay between us, I promise."

"We don't-" Olivia's voice sounds like it catches in her throat when she begins to reply, Amanda's fingers tightening around her arm and giving a gentle squeeze of encouragement. "We don't have time to talk. I need to pull myself together and get back out there. Fin and I have to get going."

"Why don't you let me go with Fin and you can stay here and take some time to yourself?" Amanda suggests in a low tone as she hears footsteps rapidly approaching the door, praying they are not about to be interrupted and her fears quickly allayed when the potential intruder continues down the hall.

"I just found out that my partner of twelve years put his papers in," Olivia announces abruptly, Amanda turning her head to study the other woman in surprise, as she hadn't expected her to say anything else. "He's my best friend, the one person I'm closest to in this world and someone I saw nearly every single day since I was practically a rookie, and now he's just gone. He won't even answer his phone when I call, or text back when I send him a message. He's turned into a goddamn ghost; almost as if he's vanished into thin air."

Amanda is observing Olivia very closely as she speaks and can see the brunette's chin trembling violently and her mouth dragging down at one side, like she is furiously trying to contain another bout of tears. That growing ache inside her chest is expanding outwards to overtake her entire body, Amanda able to feel Olivia's distress so acutely, it's as if the other woman's agony has transferred over to herself.

She shifts sideways on the table so their bodies are brushing against each other now, taking another chance and sliding a gentle arm around Olivia's shoulders, feeling the instant flinch from the taller figure in response before Olivia seems to relax somewhat. Amanda's protective and comforting instincts are at an all-time high as she traces light fingertips around her colleague's upper arm in an attempt to soothe, the deep feelings that she has for Olivia bubbling even closer to the surface as she tries in vain to push them back down.

Amanda has had a massive crush on the older woman since long before she had ever arrived in New York, having found Olivia to be an absolutely fascinating person the first time she had laid eyes on a picture of her in the newspaper and read the accompanying article. Her feelings have only grown stronger since meeting the legendary Olivia Benson in the flesh and getting to work with her on such a high-profile and intense case, but Amanda is determined not to let on just how deeply she feels for the older detective.

Instead, she is simply intent on providing as much solace and care as she possibly can for the woman who does so much for others, and giving Olivia a safe place to talk about what is on her mind while letting her know that she can fully trust her new colleague. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Olivia," Amanda says softly, her heart skipping a beat when the brunette briefly grabs onto the front of her shirt as if trying to anchor herself to the table and her body before she slides onto the floor in an anguished heap.

She is aware of Olivia's subtle attempts to snuggle further into her smaller form and tightens her hold on the quivering figure next to her, wishing they were free to leave for the day and had not just been called out to another case. Amanda knows time is of the essence here; that if they spend much longer cooped up in the interrogation room together, one of the guys is more than likely to come looking for them and will find Olivia in a puddle of tears while cuddling up to the newest member of their squad as she cries.

"I don't mean to sound too forward with what I'm about to ask, but are you free tonight?" she whispers into the older woman's ear, Olivia's silky hair tickling the bare skin of her neck and sending a pleasant tingle down her spine. "How about we just grab a beer somewhere and talk? Maybe get to know each other a little better? You look like you could use a friend right about now."

She pauses in order to lean slightly away from Olivia, their eyes locking onto one another and an unreadable emotion in her fellow detective's gaze, Amanda giving her a tender smile in response. "And I'm more than happy to be one."

Olivia is silent for so long that Amanda is afraid she is not going to answer, the quiet stretching out amidst them as they stare at each other and remain entwined together in their sitting positions on the table, and practically melting with relief when she finally receives a shaky smile in return.

"Yeah, sure, Rollins, I guess that would be okay," Olivia replies softly, Amanda's breath catching in her throat at how stunningly beautiful the older woman looks when she smiles, despite the tear-stained cheeks and smeared makeup. "You're right, I could definitely use a friend right now."

"Please call me Amanda," she says with sudden shyness, feeling a slight blush creeping up her neck to infuse her pale face with color. "If we're going to be friends, we might as well be on a first-name basis with each other. 'Rollins' is a bit formal and impersonal, don't you think?"

"Okay, Amanda." Olivia's smile widens and actually appears to reach her eyes this time, a hint of a twinkle visible in those chocolate orbs and Amanda feels a swell of hope rising inside.

That hope is for the future: for the two of them to become closer friends or possibly more; for Olivia to come to terms with her immense loss; and for Amanda to continue moving forward with her life until everything that had transpired in Atlanta is nothing but a distant memory.