Chapter Seventeen: Love, No Longer Hidden

Elizabeth thought that she would have time to reflect upon her situation by staying in Kent. However, she barely had few moments to herself during her visits. She spent most of her time with Charlotte, the latter trying to rekindle her friendship with the former, and the former getting acquainted with the latter. They usually received invitations to Rosings, and she would accompany the Collins there, despite the idea of an evening with Lady Catherine was repulsive to her.

On the bright side, she and Charlotte would talk about these visits later. Charlotte would tell her how much she enjoyed Elizabeth's witty replies to the condescending Lady Catherine afterwards. Her friend would tell her that she had always been like that, and that she expected nothing less from her, and Elizabeth would smile and laugh at Charlotte's lingering remarks about the evening.

Even when she wanted to go for walks in the mornings to enjoy moments of solitude, she would often be joined by Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy who would run into her and offer to accompany her. Elizabeth did not mind their presence. She was already accustomed to Mr. Darcy's silent character, and it did not bother her. Yet, she had to acknowledge that he was increasingly kind towards her during her stay in Kent. Moreover, the colonel was nothing but charming. He would often engage with her in easy conversations, making her laugh with tales of his time in the military and his travels across the country.

She still felt some mild pain every time she intently observed Mr. Darcy. But she gave up on trying to pinpoint the source of the pain, and she deemed the matter simply ineffable. It did not eschew her notice that his eyes always found their way into hers, and she wondered whatever might be the cause for that. She tried to ask him about Mr. Bingley, and she tried on multiple occasions to hint that Jane was in London for hopes of seeing Mr. Bingley. But each time, he would shift uncomfortably and change the topic.

One day however, she found only the colonel on her way for her morning walk. After bows and curtsies, he offered to accompany her, and she accepted. She then inquired about the absence of Mr. Darcy.

"Miss Bennet, my cousin sends his apologies. He will join us later. He had to answer an urgent letter from his solicitor. I hope that this does not bother you."

Elizabeth was surprised by his last statement. "Why would it bother me colonel? Mr. Darcy is certainly at liberty to spend his mornings as he pleases. I know that we three made a habit of convening each morning and going for a walk, but it is certainly not an obligation, and I certainly do not want to impose anything on Mr. Darcy."

A playful smile twinkled on the colonel's lips. He studied her intently, his probing gaze studying her face for a while. Then he turned his gaze to the scenery again, a knowing smile still lingering on his lips. "Say, Miss Bennet, what do you think of my cousin?"

Elizabeth wanted to say that she does not truly think of him, given that she had other important matters to think about these days, but she knew that it would not be polite. Besides, she would be lying too. She often thought about the mysterious pain that often clenched her heart upon seeing him.

She sighed. "I do not know colonel. I truly do not know him that well. Why don't you tell me what do you think of him? Perhaps, you will help me construe his character."

The colonel, despite being a little taken aback at first, proceeded to tell her how Mr. Darcy was one of the best men he ever knew. How he was fiercely loyal to those he considered his friends. How he recently saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage.

Elizabeth stopped dead in her tracks. "Did Mr. Darcy give his reasons for his interference?"

"I believe that there were some very strong objections against the lady, as well as her family."

"Why would Mr. Darcy have to decide on another person's inclinations? Why would he deem himself the judge of his friend's happiness?"

The colonel's smile faltered momentarily. "Miss Bennet, I assure you, if my cousin were to give his opinion on his friend's love life, it would only be serving his best interest."

Elizabeth paled. Her mind was racing by what she learned. She was not stupid. It only took her a moment to figure out who might be the friend that Mr. Darcy would have influenced recently. It could be none other than Mr. Bingley. Even though she never admitted it to Jane, she had always associated Mr. Bingley's sudden departure with Caroline Bingley. Yet, it turned out that Mr. Darcy was the one who separated them. He was the one who sentenced her dear Jane to suffer, for reasons unbeknown to her. 'Objections against the lady and her family?' What could that possibly mean?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of steady footsteps approaching them. She turned to see the figure of Mr. Darcy approaching. He sent her a warm smile when he saw her.

"Richard, thank you for keeping Miss Elizabeth's company in my abhorrent absence this morning." He turned to her and offered a low bow. "Miss Elizabeth, I apologize for taking so much time to join you. Believe me, the matter was indeed urgent. Otherwise, nothing would have kept me away from joining these lovely moments I get to spend with you."

Another knowing smile tugged at the colonel's lips. But Elizabeth remained silent, her mind still replaying what Colonel Fitzwilliam just informed her of. Noticing her silence, Darcy's smile faltered. "Is something the matter Miss Elizabeth? I hope that I am not too late in offering my apology." He studied her face nervously, then he added. "Miss Elizabeth, forgive me for my bold remark, but you look pale. Are you sure you are alright? Would you wish for me to escort you back to the parsonage?"

Elizabeth did not know she got herself to shake her head. "I simply want to sit down for a while."

Darcy nodded. He approached her hurriedly, offering his arm. "Miss Elizabeth, please allow me to assist you." He led her to the nearest bench, and remained standing as she sat silently, her eyes still conveying her inner agitation. The two cousins remained hovering by her side, each offering to assist her in whatever way she pleased.

After a while, she regained her composure. She turned to them. "I must thank you both. Or perhaps I must apologize first for worrying you. I feel better now after resting for a while."

Darcy let out a deep sigh of relief. The colonel merely smiled. He turned to his cousin, staring at him intently, then he turned back to her, offering her a bow. "Miss Bennet, I must leave now. My aunt needs my assistance for something related to her estate. I wish you a pleasant morning, and I trust that you are in good hands."

With that, the colonel left her alone with Mr. Darcy who was still studying her, looking for any sign of discomfort. The pain was nudging her again, this time no longer mild; it came out with full force. But she tried to ignore it. She turned to face him again. He looked nervous; his eyes heavy with concern as he continued scrutinizing her face.

Then, he knelt before her, breaking the silence. "Miss Elizabeth, I beg you, please tell me if you are unwell. Your pallor has shaken me terribly. The thought of your suffering," he paused, struggling for words, "I cannot bear it."

Elizabeth remained silent, her mind still spinning from Colonel Fitzwilliam's revelation, her head throbbing with ache rivaling the tumult of her thoughts. She tried to steady herself, pushing back the aching waves of discomfort in her heart as well as her head.

Darcy's eyes searched her face as though he could decipher her thoughts. "Miss Elizabeth," he began again, his voice low but urgent, "I must speak plainly. When I saw your state today, everything around me dimmed. I felt the whole world becoming a strange force. And, I realized how utterly powerless I am against my feelings. I tried to suppress them. I thought it best to distance myself, knowing how much I am bound by my family's expectations. But seeing you in such distress…" He paused, taking a deep breath, and his hand tightened into a fist. "It has shaken me to my very core."

Elizabeth's heart thudded against her chest as she listened, unsure of what he was leading to, but fearing the truth of it. The pain in her heart and head was soaring.

Mr. Darcy stood then, his tall figure looming above her, but he did not avert his eyes. "Miss Elizabeth," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "My feelings will not be suppressed any longer. I can no longer fight what I feel for you. I love you, most ardently. I have struggled in vain to erect a distance between us. For weeks, I was tormented. I wanted to tell you, but I was shackled by my family's expectations, and my better judgement. I am well aware of your social situation, as well as the implications of your head injury. Yet, I cannot battle my feelings any longer. You are all that occupies my thoughts. You have become the very center of my existence, and I can no longer pretend otherwise. Please, relieve me of my agony and do me the honor of accepting to be my wife."

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