I use Google Translate, so I apologize for any errors.
Enjoy reading!
I don't own Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir
Two weeks have passed. Two weeks after the fight with Desperada. Two weeks since his last transformation into Chat Noir and Aspic. Two weeks since I last met Lady Bug. Two weeks when he'd let her down.
Twenty-five thousand nine hundred and thirteen failed attempts to save her.
Twenty-five thousand nine hundred and thirteen bad scenarios.
Three months of agony.
Three months of pain that gave him the same painful memories.
Three months of terror that gave him equally terrible nightmares.
He doesn't know how to move on.
He can't.
Previously painful memories turned into terrible nightmares that caused agony in body, soul, and mind. Panic attacks and seizures became more frequent and now they always ended in tears.
Adrien spends almost a third of his time at school in a toilet stall, sobbing over yet another nightmare that his tired mind invents, since he can't sleep for more than three hours. His brain is desperate for rest, but he can't, can't.
His body aches and his muscles burn from lack of food. His body begins to burn itself out in order to somehow maintain itself in the system.
Putting a smile on your face is getting harder every day. And when she does, she doesn't seem sincere. His smile is brittle and shaky, threatening to disappear if he loses control of his facial muscles for even a second.
Every time they're alone, Plagg begs (he stopped asking after the first week) for him to eat something else, or for him to transform and go out for at least a short walk to feel better or try to get some sleep in his spare time. But he can't.
Food makes him disgusted and nauseous.
Sleep gives him nightmares.
He is afraid to transform.
"Damn it, Kid!" Plagg cursed loudly, as if they were alone in the entire mansion.
A few hours ago, Adrien almost fainted right after fencing. He was hungry and exhausted, and it was only by a miracle that he managed to stay on his feet.
Right now, he was lying on the bed with his limbs outstretched, listening to his kwami's complaints.
"...you almost fainted!" he swore.
"It's not that important," Adrien muttered, which was clearly a mistake.
"It doesn't matter?" Plagg roared, the dark energy of Destruction crackling around him. – It doesn't matter that you almost fainted from lack of sleep and hunger?! - he sighed and calmed down a little but continued in the same stern tone. – So, you go out and eat whatever you want, but you eat and then you go to bed. Period and no objections, Adrien. And if you don't, I'm going to send your stupid sperm donor dad into a cataclysm and put you on another diet (You're already too thin, Kid! What ещё kind of fucking diet?! Go eat!) and emotionally overwhelming you, and the idiot Lady Bug who was supposed to visit you after the events of Desperada! Since she brought you in on this case, she should have checked it out!
"She probably has more important things to do..." the guy tried.
"Don't make excuses for her!" The Kwami of Destruction growled. – After what you said to her in that sewer, she should have been here in no time on her freaking yo-yo!"
"Plagg..."
- No! Shut Up, Kid!" The little god abruptly interrupted. "You have a good heart and understand the very essence of Destruction, and I like that about you, but you too often put others and their opinions above yourself. And I really don't like it!
"Um... thank you?" – that was a compliment, wasn't it?
"Kid," Plagg called as softly as he could, flying closer. – I may not often show this side of myself, but I care about you. We are also partners. But I'm here, and she's... not. So please go eat something and go to bed early.
"Okay," Adrien nodded, getting out of bed.
An hour and a half later, he woke up from a nightmare and threw up everything he had eaten.
In less than three minutes Desperada found them.
Their opponent's loud and vicious laughter rang out from somewhere behind, them as they ran through the sewers, leaving their former location. Small lamps alternated, and the squelching of small pools of water could be heard.
A second later, his partner screamed and fell to her knees. Adrien turned around, already approaching the hand with the wrist where the wonderful snake was located. His eyes widened in horror, and his hand hovered.
Lady Bug was slowly but irrevocably disappearing. First the tips of her fingers and toes disappeared, and in their place appeared yellow smoke and golden sand, which crumbled into golden grains, wetting in puddles and spreading in all directions. The effect continued and rose higher up her ankles and forearms.
The girl's eyes were wide and filled with tears, her lips were trembling, and her face was pale with pain.
After a moment, she screamed.
Adrien awoke with a loud cry of agony. Countless tears flowed down his cheeks. His chest felt tight, as if he were wearing an anvil. The hand twisted the wrist violently, painfully, leaving deep red scratches with its nails, from which small rivulets of blood flowed. Desperada's laughter could still be heard in his ears, making him shiver all over.
"Kid!" Plagg exclaims, rushing to his hand, which is still scratching at his wrist, and yanking it back forcefully. – You're hurting yourself!"
Adrien flinched, letting go of his wrist, tears still streaming down his cheeks, it was too much, too much...
"Adrien!" kwami called out again, seeing that his holder was about to fall into the agony of memories again. "Come on! Watch me and breathe, "he flew up," inhale, "he sank down," exhale.
It took him almost ten minutes before he felt the number of tears lessen and his chest felt a little lighter.
"That's it, Kid," Plagg was saying.
At the same time, the Kwami of Destruction approached his scratched wrist and began to lick it with its rough tongue.
"Breathe, Adrien," Plagg said again when he saw that the boy was about to open his mouth for an obvious reason. – I am the god of Destruction, and my saliva will turn acid if I choose. Right now, I'm decontaminating the wounds you made.
After half an hour, the tears stopped altogether, and the breathing calmed down. He leaned back on the bed, trying to relax his body completely, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Plagg, will I ever feel better?" Adrien whispered, already knowing the answer.
"I don't know, Kid," Plagg said, sighing. "But I hope so."
He wakes up abruptly, twisting and scratching his wrist furiously. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, his heart is pounding and he feels like he can't breathe. It feels like he's starting to choke.
"Adrien! Plagg calls, flying right up to his face to lick his cheek.
This isn't the first night like this, and his hand is already as far away from his scratched wrist as possible.
Plagg tries to support him with a purr, but Adrien already notices the wrist. This time it's much worse.
The scratches are so deep that even now blood is leaking out. This is reinforced by the fact that the guy does not even immediately understand whether all this is real. The only thing that supports it is the obvious fact that the nightmarish bracelet is not on his wrist.
Today, for the first time, was not just one nightmare, but a cycle. A cycle similar to the action of a miraculous snake. The starting point is always the same, but subsequent events are always different.
The agony of repetition.
"Kid, breathe," Plagg urges, seeing that the situation is rapidly getting worse, as shown by more tears and faster breathing. "Do it like I taught you. Up – inhale… Down – exhale...
He doesn't know how much time passes, but he says, his voice hoarse from crying, "I shouldn't have taken that damn wonderful snake, Plagg. I should have listened to you."
Kwami doesn't say anything, knowing that his brash words about being right from the start can only make things worse. He doesn't even want to think about a worse situation when his kitten is already falling apart, cracking and self-destructing. He is afraid that this holder is (his favorite!) he will be one of those who will ruin himself. He had too many kittens who committed suicide...
That was all, and Plagg had made up his mind. He wouldn't let that happen. And fuck the cursed Guardians and the rules.
"Kid, just give me a second," Kwami Destruction says, pulling away and flying to the first aid kit in the bathroom, returning in a minute or two with a Band-Aid. "Come on, put this on yourself, you need it."
Adrien stares dead-eyed at the Band-Aid, but after a while he reaches out and uses it, sticking it on his wrist. It looks crooked, as the tears prevent him from doing it normally, but the blood is no longer flowing and that's enough.
"Okay, keep breathing, Kid, I'll be right there," Plagg says again, storming out of the room and into the kitchen.
He returns almost ten minutes later with a red apple that pulls him down, but Kwami doesn't give up. He flies over to the bed and places it right in front of the boy, who is once again in a kind of stupor.
"Eat and don't argue," he says sternly.
With the same blank eyes, the guy takes an apple and bites it, almost without feeling the taste. He could be eating paper right now and probably wouldn't even understand.
Kwami didn't like the blankness and indifference, but he forced himself to stay where he was. It will never leave its holder in this state. No matter what anyone said about him, he always took care of his kittens.
"Now go to bed," Plagg says firmly, but when he sees the boy flinch, he repeats more softly. "Kid, you need to get some more sleep. It's still too early.
It's ten o'clock on Sunday morning, but he doesn't need to know. If his stupid father or equally stupid secretary disturbed his kitten's sleep, he would give them a cataclysm.
As the boy's breathing levels out and he drifts off to sleep, Plagg flies out of the window.
Adrien is abruptly awakened by a loud warning about an Akuma attack. There were no nightmares this time, but he could still feel their previous presence in the form of sweat and rapid breathing.
He began to search for his phone, the ringing of which weighed so uncomfortably on his ears and brain, respectively. His eyes were heavy with unaccustomed lack of sleep, and he was generally very sleepy. He was also hungry, but could wait, unlike sleep.
It took almost ten minutes to find the smartphone, which for some reason was lying under the bed. Adrien breathed a sigh of relief when silence fell.
"Plagg," he called, leaning back on the bed; when there was no answer, he continued, " Plagg?" I know I'm keeping you up too, but we need to go and help Lady Bug, " there was no response again. "Plagg?"
When his kwami didn't answer again, Adrien began to worry. He moved to the edge of the bed and stood up cautiously, looking around.
"Well, you'll have to be careful," he muttered, sitting back down, feeling dizzy and weak in his muscles.
His heart began to pound faster, and his chest felt tight. The telltale thought crept into my head that this was just another cycle of a nightmare that had suddenly gained momentum.
He could already feel the tears gathering in his eyes again when the thought that this was just another cycle started to gather momentum in his mind, but he was suddenly distracted.
"Kid! Plagg's sharp voice was heard as it flew up to his neck and began to mumble. " I'm here, Kid!" I'm here! Everything is fine!
"I - I thought it was just another nightmare," Adrien admitted, holding Plagg in his arms and holding him close. – You scared me so much."
"Sorry, Kid, I had some things to do..." the kwami said, slightly annoyed, but not at his own level.
"Okay," the guy nodded, then pulled away. – We need to go help Lady Bug now. Plagg...
"Stop, stop," Kwami tried to interrupt, but it didn't work.
- Claws out! - Adrien finished, reincarnating.
The boy breathed a sigh of relief. Along with the transformation, the headache was reduced, the body was filled with at least some energy. Now he will not fall from a slight push. If he had known about this, he would have reincarnated a few days ago.
So, he opened the window and flew out into the street, opening the baton.
Well, maybe Adrien shouldn't have gone into battle today. Everything went wrong from the start.
First of all, when he saw Lady Bug, he almost burst into tears again. This was only the second time he'd seen her alive, and not... not ... well, after twenty-five thousand nine hundred and thirteen failures, so he couldn't contain his feelings.
Second, although the headache was lessened, it was still quite severe, so he frowned at too much noise.
Third, after ten minutes of fighting, he started to feel weak all over again. His muscles ached and his eyes were closing from drowsiness. It was lucky that his stomach was murmuring rather softly: one apple for breakfast wouldn't be enough, after all.
Because of all this, he wasn't able to be useful enough for his Lady. Any other time, Adrien would have felt bad about being useless, but he already felt bad: he was sleepy, his head hurt, his body felt weak, his muscles ached.
But even some actions on his part during the battle, it was enough for him to completely run out of strength, and his body was exhausted.
His Lady saved him a couple of times, but in general, he wasn't really needed since Akuma was quite simple. In the end, the girl asked him to wait for her while she talked to the previously akumatized one. He forced himself to stay, because the only thing he wanted right now was to sleep. By some miracle, he didn't fall asleep while he was waiting.
"Chaton, what's wrong with you today?" The girl asked, her brow furrowed.
"I'm fine," he said sleepily, already in the last stages of exhaustion, his eyes closing and his body lurching sideways.
"I can see you're lying," Lady Bug sighed, putting a hand on her hip.
"I'm... ahh..." he yawned.
"Chat, I know you're obviously not okay," the girl continued. "You think I didn't notice..."
"My lady, let's do it another time," Adrien groaned, getting up from his seat: he knew it would be rude to just leave, but he was too sleepy, he would definitely apologize to his Lady next time.
The guy walked over to the ledge, preparing to leave. All he had to do was get home and go to bed, after which he could let out tears of happiness that his Lady was alive and safe, and then pass out from exhaustion.
Unfortunately, this was not to be.
- Chaton! - that was the last thing he heard before everything went dark.