Chapter Seven: (One Of A Kind)
Fiona could not help herself to perform the dance of joy for herself. Finally, after all these years of waiting and hoping she is finally being rescued. Fiona is not going to lie. She was days away from going insane in being stuck in the Dragon's Keep and thought that she will never be able to see the outside again. Much less be able to reconnect with people which is going to be an issue for Fiona.
Sure her mother had packed her books to help both burn time and keep her mind busy, but mostly to guide her on to break the ice of being around any people once being free from her imprisonment. Yeah, the help guidebook taught Fiona basically from how to start a conversation to how to say anything that comes to mind. Unfortunately, that book is useless since the book that Fiona read never teaches her how not to be or look desperate when meeting her knight in shining armor.
"But who the heck cares?!." Fiona told herself this when spitting on the book and tossing it out of the window. "I'm finally going to be free!. The word freedom is the flavor of a glass of wine. Or something. I do not know, I was on a roll for a second. And yeah, you were Fiona."
Fiona shook her head in refusal. "I need to stop agreeing and answering myself. Can not have my own knight to think and believe that I have actually gone crackers. Wait. Is going crackers mean insane or is it just like you eating too many crackers will make you become a cracker?."
Fiona rubbed her chin and pondered her given question before realizing what she is doing. "I need to stop while I still have the chance before this man drops me off at the crazy house. Although the crazy house does serve pudding and...no, Fiona, shut up."
Fiona managed to break her isolated former endless self-talking and answering and went to packing what she valued the most. The books were out of the question since Fiona have read them way too many times and remembered every page of words in those books. So she is not going to miss them at all. She looked everywhere in her room and see her one and only rare small-scale model of an armored knight seating on the king's throne with both hands on the handle of his sword while having his weapon positioned between his legs.
"My lucky scale-modeled knight." Fiona smiled big at her little figure. "You have finally pulled your weight around here."
Once Fiona placed her figure in her bra she then heard her rescuer start to become two. The excitement began to run all over Fiona as she quickly went back to her bed. She laid all the way down while using her hands to brush off any dust or crumbs on her clothes before putting her head on her pillow. Fiona then realized that she is missing her bouquet of flowers and quickly picked them up off the side of her bed, and hold them in an up position. She looked at her knight with a huge grin before looking up and closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep.
"Just like how you rehearsed, Fiona. Just like how you rehearsed, Fiona." Fiona told herself this in her mind.
Shrek managed to wake up from his knockout as he shook his head well. Then he took the time to look at his surroundings and realized where he is. He carefully got back to his feet with the memory of what just happened. His son and Donkey are in danger from the dragon itself. Shrek needed to go get them as soon as possible. But first, he needs to get the princess. That is his current top priority.
Speaking of the unknown royal status princess, Shrek looked to his right to see Fiona on her bed asleep. After checking that the face cover of the helmet is still on his face, He approached the pretended sleeping princess and got on one knee. Leaning forward while having his hands on each side of Fiona's shoulders. Fiona felt like this is the perfect moment to pucker her lips for the long-awaited kiss of her new prince. Unfortunately, for Fiona that is not the planned case.
Shrek started shaking her like a cheap useless worn-out rag doll. "Wake Up!. Wake Up!."
"H...H...H...Hey, p...p...p...please s...s...s...stop s...s...s...shaking meeeeeee!." Fiona pleaded but got ignored.
"I said wake up!. I need to ask you a question." Shrek finally stopped shaking her.
Fiona got a little bit mad. "What?. What is the question?."
Shrek looked at the woman. "Are you Princess Fiona by any chance?."
"Why yes, I am. Even though that is freaking obvious since there is no other locked-up princess here but me. Let alone this place is not the world-famous five-star resort." Fiona shook her head as she is getting off script of what she was supposed to be.
Fiona cooled and gave Shrek the best smile she can give on her face. "Yes. I'm Princess Fiona. And I have long been waiting for a knight like yourself to be so bold enough to rescue me. I am in your debt and forever loyal to you."
"Ah, well that is so nice to know." Shrek showed his sarcasm and got serious. "Now get off your lazy royal booty and let's get going."
Shrek got up and went to find the door with ease. But Fiona was still holding on to the lines that she practiced for years.
"But sir, Knight!." Fiona tried to keep her composer. "This special night is our first meeting. Should we make this a bit more...you know...romantic of sorts."
Fiona positioned herself into a dramatic pose. Shrek looked at this and see that this woman is being serious.
"Yeahhhhh. Well, sorry for your inconvenience lady, but that is not going to happen tonight. Forget it." Shrek grabbed Fiona and ignored her complaint and lecture.
Shrek approached the door while having Fiona by her bicep. He examines the chained lock on the door as if it is strange. Stange that the lock is on the inside of the door and not on the outside. As if she did it herself. As if she has been leaving in and out of the room as she pleases. That is a question that is needed to be answered later. He grabbed the lock and easily broke it off from the weak chains despite Fiona's complaint.
"Hey, wait a minute. What on earth are you doing?. You know, you should be currently be sweeping me off my bad feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. Much less have your forever loyal and most trusted faithful squire be writing down notes of how to become a great knight as yourself while pampering me to my needs." said Fiona, sounding like a drama princess.
Shrek paused and looked at Fiona with an eyebrow raised. "Bad feet?."
Fiona smiled with a nod. "Uh-huh, having bad flat feet runs in my father's side of the family. An ancient family curse you know."
"Right." Shrek looked to the side for a short second and then back at Fiona. "You truly have a long time to plan all of this?. Did you not?."
Fiona still smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir, I know everything about how to be and act as a princess like the back of my hand."
Shrek rolled his eyes. "Do not know why I even asked. We are burning moonlight here. Let's move it!."
Shrek breaks the door down with his shoulder before looking for the stairs and starts running. Despite Fiona's complaint.
"Hey, Hey, Hey, take it easy!. I'm flat-footed for crying out loud!." said Fiona, feeling both her feet hurting. "Oh, I need some serious soaking after this!."
While Shrek is dragging the pain out of Fiona and her flat feet, meanwhile somewhere in the room that just happens to be the female dragon's main home which is the room of treasures and loot. The Dragon has had her hands full with two of her guests. One is the donkey that she has wrapped around her tail to prevent escape. While the moore teenage boy is laying on a good pile of gold coins unconscious who is just so happens to be her new and only best friend. All because he can literally understand every word she says, even though many people only hear low or high growls from her.
Jason was finally coming two as he lift himself up while rubbing the back of his head. "Aww, Donkey, I had the most wildest dream that I ever had in my whole life probably. I dreamed that you, me, and my Dad were in the Dragon's Keep in the rescue attempt to save Princess Fiona. Pfft, I dreamed that I understand and heard the dragon talk. Much less the dragon being a female. Weird huh?."
"Oh, that is not a dream at all, Jason. Far from it."
Jason felt cold chills running up and down his spine at hearing the same woman's voice again. He looked up and see the Dragon herself in all of her beauty as she smiled down at Jason. The teen jumped right off the pile of gold coins and try to make a break for it as he ran with a scream. But the Dragon placed her hand down in front of Jason in a successful attempt to stop him.
"Hey, where do you think you are going, best friend?." Dragon gently pushed Jason back.
"Wait back everything up." Jason looked at the dragon. "Best Friend?."
Dragon nodded in delight. "Yes. Dragon Whispers are a Dragons most trusted and loyal friends!. Much less understanding every single word of a Dragon. Every single word of it!."
"I know about that." Jason messed with his hair a bit. "Dragon Whispers are fairytale creatures. They are connected to the dragon or dragons that clicks with them. But I should not be a fairytale creature. I should be just a plain moore."
Dragon tilted her head. "Just a plain moore?. Oh, no, Jason, you should not be ashamed of being a fairytale creature. Your adopted father is one. My new love here is also one as well. And the prin..."
"Ok, this is going on way too much. Let us start all over." Jason straightened himself up. "I'm Jason. And your name is?."
"You tell me." Dragon smiled at the teenage moore.
"What?." Donkey awoke from all of his cries for help and heard Jason's attempt of making the proper introduction.
"Yeah, what Donkey said. What do you mean by that?." said Jason.
Dragon rubbed the back of her head innocently. "I do not have an actual name other than Dragon. You see it is the Dragon Whisper's job to give the name of the Dragon. The Dragon that they clicked with."
"Oh, okay." Jason smacked his lips a bit before looking at Dragon. "Do you have any swamp water around here by any chance?."
Dragon nodded as she pulled up a medium-sized light blue bottle of water and hand it to Jason. "Here you go. It is not swamp water but it is quite refreshing."
Jason took the bottle and pulled the cap off before drinking the liquid. He gagged at drinking the water. "Plain water does not do it for me. But thank you anyway. Now about your name."
Dragon looked at her dragon whisper with patients as Jason is in good thought. He eyed Dragon a bit and then looked to the side before looking right back at the creature. Then it hit him.
"Hey, how about...Elisabeth," said Jason, giving a none pushed smile.
"Elisabeth?." Dragon rubbed her chin for a second and grinned. "I love it. Oh, thank you Jason for giving me a new official name!."
"Ah, no problem, Elisabeth," said Jason, feeling comfortable. "So tell me and Donkey about yourself."
"Oh, where, Oh, where do I even begin." Dragon pondered. "Well..."
Dragon started explaining her origins. She told Jason and Donkey about a fairy who enchanted her birth egg to become a magic dragon. Meaning that her scales are incredibly invincible and indestructible. This would explain why no single knight has ever killed her even though they shoot arrows and cut with their swords. But that is just the thing. The arrows that those knights shoot at Elisabeth just bounce right off her skin and the blades of their swords break in two when making contact with her scaly skin.
"So out of curiosity. What can exactly kill you?." Jason asked, being so into the conversation.
"The fairy created and enchanted a sword with the same magic that made my skin impossible to cut or stab through. It is the sword of Excalibur. Excalibur is the only and I mean the only thing that can kill me. Now, I know what you two are thinking. The sword that is inside a stone is not Excalibur. That is a cheap good fake sword with cheap and temporary magic, that does little to no effect. I pity the fool that thinks they are in procession of the sword." said Dragon, before handing Jason a scale figure of a golden wingless dragon in a wiggling position.
"Oh, Elisabeth they only made one of these!." Jason looked at the figure with a big smile.
Dragon smiled proudly at this. "I knew you would like one of my treasures or loot that I collected over the years from knights. Which I both burn, eat alive, or cook. Now enough about me. Let's talk more about you, Donkey. You are so darn cute!."
Dragon took her whole attention from Jason to Donkey. Donkey is not prepared for this and Jason have no say in the matter due to wanting to stay on her good side. Back with Shrek and a dragging Fiona, the two were all over the castle to Fiona's dislike. Especially when she is being dragged like a wild dolly. Shrek is too determined to find his son and his ignoring talking Donkey of his. So determined that he is even ignoring Fiona's complaints.
"But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. I'm not picky of how good the rhythm is." Fiona added while Shrek still not letting up. "Okay, well, how about a ballad?. A sonnet!. A limerick?. Or something!. Oh, come on here, I'm willing to hear a harmonica solo!."
They stopped in a doorless doorway as Shrek took the time to see their surroundings.
"My feet are going to be no darn good after all of this is said and done." Fiona winced at the pain in her flat arches before continuing her conversation with her knight with frustration.
"Uh, no, I do not think so. Not ever. Do not care how much you are willing to pay or you are just flat broke." said Shrek, grabbing a torch off the wall to see better.
Fiona got very frustrated. She put her hands on her hips after pulling her bicep away from his hand. "Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?. For my sake."
"Sounds fair." Shrek looked at Fiona. "It is Shrek."
Fiona relaxed and smiled at finally hearing the name of her winner champion. "Sir, Shrek."
Fiona pulled out a pink cotton soft handkerchief and hold it up by one of the ends and presented it to Shrek. "Well, Shrek, I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude."
Shrek took the handkerchief from Fiona and looked at it for a few seconds and then looked back at her. "Uh, thanks. This helmet is making me sweat like a hog."
"Hey, wait that is not what it is..." Fiona was stopped when Shrek rubbed the handkerchief to his face. Then hands it back.
Suddenly they heard a loud roaring noise coming in front of them. Fiona knows what creature that has noise like this and is in shock.
"Are you freaking serious?!." Fiona looked at Shrek in disbelief. "You did not slay the dragon?!. Of all things!."
Shrek shot back at Fiona. "Woman it is on my to-do list. Come on and let us go!."
Shrek grabs Fiona and rushed her as quickly as possible. Fiona was making a few contacts with a few pieces of debris and rocks with her feet.
"Ow, Ow, Ow, my feet!. Have some sympathy here, Shrek!." Fiona started to feel her toes hit the rocks. "And also this isn't right!. You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did!. That is what all knights do."
Shrek shot back at Fiona while eyeing the bones around them and the body lines on the walls. "Yeah, right before they burst into flames!. Literally!."
"That is not the darn point that I am trying to make here!." said Fiona, in defense.
Fiona manages to pull her bicep free from Shrek and is lucky that they stopped running. Shrek pauses to have a good look around them and heads for a set of wooden doors. Having a feeling that this is the place where they would find Jason and Donkey.
"Ok, you wait here and rest a little while I will be right back," said Shrek, when approaching the double doors.
"Hey, wait a second." Fiona pointed the way behind her. "The exit is that way. Do not ask why how I know that."
Shrek turned to look back at Fiona and spoke with honesty. "Well, I have to save my ass and my..."
"What kind of knight are you?!." Fiona crossed her arms. "Seriously."
Shrek proudly did a salute with confidence. "I'm one of a kind."
Shrek entered inside the place while coming up with the perfect idea of escaping the Dragon's Keep.
(A/N): Well, I am going to hold off right here and do the other part in the next chapter. Also, I saw Puss in Boots The Last Wish last month. It is awesome and worth the money to see it. I enjoyed and loved how they did with Goldilocks and her origin. She is kinda similar to Jason in this story. I loved the Shrek and Donkey cameo and the ending.
I hope we will get a Shrek 5 movie soon. Until next time you guys!. I also recommend you guys to go see or by the movie of Puss in Boots The Last Wish.