The next day, there was a special announcement posted to the Common Room bulletin board. Hermione found the third years crowding around it when she went to go to breakfast.

"What's this?" she asked, weaving her way through. She blinked. "A Special Lecture? And we have to go after classes on Monday?"

"For all the third years," Tracey clarified. "Though, there's two locations listed. They've dividing up the boys and girls."

"Have to divide us up somehow," Theo shrugged. "Too many of us otherwise."

"Ugh." Pansy's nose wrinkled. "I'd hoped it was the first Hogsmeade announcement. Why do we need a 'Special Lecture', anyway?"

Hermione heard someone snicker, and she turned to see a couple older Slytherins looking at them. They smirked widely and waved at her, sniggering, and Hermione turned back to the poster, rereading it.

"This is like the Flying lessons," Millie was saying. "Not a permanent new class, at least."

"But why would they get all the House Heads for it?" Draco wanted to know. "You don't need two teachers to teach twenty of us."

The older Slytherins snickered again, and Hermione glanced over at them. She turned back to the flyer, looking at it thoughtfully. A special lecture, divided by gender, with two heads of house overseeing each section… and the older Slytherins were laughing at them…

A thought occurred to Hermione of what it might be, and once it occurred to her, she couldn't make it go away. Hermione started to snicker, attracting surprised looks from her friends, who gave her strange looks as she started to laugh harder.

"Ignore me, please," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I'll come to my senses soon enough, I assure you."

Blaise and Draco continued to give her odd looks as she giggled, still bent over with laughter, but Tracey dismissed her easily enough.

"I suppose we'll find out soon enough," Tracey said easily. "Maybe it's about self-defense to protect us from Black?"

"Maybe," Draco said. "Seeing as the new Defense teacher is too busy teaching us about creatures than actually teaching us how to defend ourselves…"

"Can you blame him?" Pansy pointed out, her tone snide. "It's not like the Magical Creatures teacher has any clue how to teach about creatures."

At breakfast, Hermione hurried over to the Gryffindor table. Harry looked up, surprised, but greeted her with a smile.

"Hey, Hermione," he said.

"Harry, I need to borrow your invisibility cloak on Monday," she said, getting immediately to the point. Harry blinked.

"Why?" he asked. He looked at her quizzically. "Does this have something to do with the Special Lecture we all have to go to?"

"It does," Hermione said. Her voice had barely restrained laughter in it.

"What is it?" Harry asked, leaning forward. "Do you know what it's about?"

"I don't," Hermione admitted. "But I have my suspicions."

"And?" Harry's eyes gleamed.

Hermione glanced around, making sure no one was eavesdropping.

"I think they're going to teach us Sex and Relationship Education," she told him conspiratorially. "They're dividing the boys from the girls, we're all thirteen now, and this is the first year people will be able to go on dates to Hogsmeade, which I think start next month."

Harry looked surprised.

"Do you really?" he asked. "I mean, it's not like Hogwarts has to follow muggle education laws."

"They still won't want a bunch of teen mothers, Harry," Hermione pointed out. "I expect in addition to teaching us about bodies and puberty and whatnot, they'll teach us about contraception and the like. But Harry." She reached across and grabbed Harry's forearm. "You must loan me your Invisibility cloak. I cannot miss the opportunity to see Snape have to answer questions about sex."

Harry began to snicker, then outright laugh.

"Okay, fair," he said, grinning widely. "On one condition – write down the most awkward questions you can think of for me and the other Gryffindors to ask him ahead of time and pass it to me beforehand."

Hermione couldn't restrain her laughter. "Deal."

Word spread like fire, and by evening, all of the third year had heard the rumor they were going to be learning about sex from their Heads of house. The boys seemed to alternate between thinking this was totally unnecessary to completely uproarious, while the girls seemed actually interested.

"It'll be nice to get some direct answers, you know?" Daphne said, falling back on her bed. "My mum still won't tell me anything because I haven't chyrsalized yet. She thinks it's inappropriate."

"I'm glad Professor Sprout will be there along with McGonagall," Tracey said. She shuddered. "Can you imagine McGonagall staring you down when you ask about contraception potions?"

Hermione glanced over at Tracey. "There are potions for that?"

"Err. I think?" Tracey said. She shrugged. "I don't really know. Haven't needed anything like that, not yet. But I mean, I think there probably are? No one has any children at Hogwarts, and there's definitely people who are getting up to activities that could make them."

Tracey and Hermione smirked at each other, while Millie sighed loudly.

"It just seems so awkward," she said. Millie didn't bother to look up at them as she spoke, as she was busy stroking Crookshanks, who was enjoying the attention. "I don't want to have to listen to McGonagall lecture me about my womb, you know? It hurts, it bleeds, it can spit out kids. Do I really need to know anything else?"

"I'm looking forward to asking questions," Pansy volunteered. Hermione and the others looked over to her, and she grinned viciously, her eyes flashing. "Think about it: this is our chance to ask McGonagall as many awkward questions as possible with no possible repercussions."

"McGonagall's not that bad," Hermione protested, but Pansy scoffed and waved her off.

"Not if you're a Transfiguration prodigy," she said. "For the rest of us mere mortals, Hermione, she's really strict."

Tracey started grinning. "I could get behind that."

Smirking, Pansy took out a piece of parchment.

"What first, do you think?" she said, tapping a quill against her chin. "What about 'why do girls bleed and boys don't'?"

Tracey wrinkled her nose. "That's a little straightforward, don't you think?"

Pansy shot Tracey a dark look. "Then what would you suggest?"

"They'll teach us the basics and anatomy before opening it up to questions, I'd guess," Hermione said, considering thoughtfully. "But after that… ask about STIs, Pansy. That'd be a good one."

Pansy blinked. "STIs?"

"Sexually Transmitted Infections," Hermione said. "There are diseases you can catch having sex with someone."

"There are?" Pansy and Daphne looked horrified, but Hermione shrugged.

"There definitely are in the muggle world, some of them really bad," she said. "I wouldn't be surprised if we can't catch the muggle ones, but it seems like wizards have their own set of magical diseases to deal with, so it'd be good to know what to watch out for."

Pansy wrote it down, before smirking.

"We could ask how to tell if someone has a disease," she said. "I'd love to have McGonagall try and explain how to choose a sex partner."

Daphne laughed.

"Put down 'what happens to the blood afterwards'," she said. "I've always been curious."

Pansy dutifully wrote it down, but Tracey, Millie, and Hermione exchanged a look.

"I mean…" Hermione said, worry in her tone. "You don't think they just get rid of it?"

Pansy gave Hermione a nasty look.

"I haven't gotten mine yet, so I don't know," she said, but Hermione held up her hands.

"No, no, it's just…" She bit her lip. "If they're not just disposing of our used supplies, what are they doing with it? I don't want my blood floating around out there!"

Tracey's eyes grew wide.

"Morgana's tits," she swore. "Someone could steal my pads and use them in a Dark ritual."

"That's disgusting," Millie said, but Tracey was alarmed now.

"But they could, couldn't they? And it's a lot of blood, especially every month! What if someone bribed the House Elves or stole them?" She seemed on the verge of panic. "Hermione's the only one who's safe – Hermione, do you have any more of those hippie things?"

Hermione folded her arms. "Oh, so now you want a menstrual cup?"

"Wait, what?" Daphne was confused. "What does Hermione have?"

"It's a cup," Hermione said. "It's a muggle thing. It's made of silicone, which is body safe and can be sterilized. You put it inside yourself, and it catches the blood. You just pull it out and empty it a couple times a day into the toilet."

"What's a 'hippie'?" Pansy wanted to know, and Hermione groaned.

"It's a term for people who are concerned with the environment," Hermione said, massively over-summarizing an entire group and culture of people. "Muggles don't really wash their pads or tampons – they just throw them out. A cup helps reduce the impact on the environment. Plus, it's a lot less expensive in the long run."

"I mean, it's still gross," Tracey said, wrinkling her nose. "Digging around inside of you with a cup full of blood."

"At least I don't feel like I'm wearing a diaper," Hermione shot back, eyes narrowed. "And I can't feel blood ooze out of me when I'm wearing it."

"If there are rituals, though, Hermione might have the right idea of it, though," Daphne said, thoughtful. "I think there are fertility potions you can make that include your monthly blood as an ingredient. A cup would be a lot easier than wringing a pad out, right?"

Millie winced. "You don't really wring pads out, Daphne. There's not that much blood."

Daphne just shrugged, looking at Hermione, who bit her lip.

"I mean, that's something to ask McGonagall, isn't it?" She started to smirk. "I'm sure she has an opinion on menstrual supplies."

Pansy snickered while Daphne and Tracey began to giggle, and they all continued brainstorming awkward questions they could ask their professors. It was one of the weirdest bonding experiences of Hermione's life, suggesting sex-related questions to use to interrogate their professors, but as they suggested different ridiculous things, dissolving into laughter over and over again, Hermione realized it was one of the most fun times she'd ever had with the other Slytherin girls.