A/N: A chapter filled with nothing but fluffy angst. I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please leave a review. Thank you!

Chapter 55

Draco wiped at the drop of water he felt inching down the side of his face from his hair before pulling the blanket tightly around him again. His gaze remained glued on the others, watching as Pomfrey and Alexei helped Harry who was sitting in a bed shivering under his own blanket while Leif and Severus held a hissed conversation off to the side. Severus' face was as white as Harry had been blue and his left arm was covered in bandages that were more red than white. The two were clearly arguing, Severus showcasing a fluency in Greek Draco hadn't realized, but probably should have guessed the man had. Looking back at Harry, he found colour returning to his brother's face while Pomfrey performed scans and Alexei spoke to him quietly, receiving little more than nods, shrugs, and head shakes from the Gryffindor. He had yet to be told anything regarding Harry and he was terrified. What could possibly have driven Harry to hide his magic, cut himself off from their Life Bond, and go outside in a February blizzard?

A clicking tongue behind him in a mockery of chastisement had him tensing.

"Look at what you've done, son."

Had he? Had he caused this? Had Harry cut himself off because he was horrified and disgusted by what Draco had done at Malfoy Manor? Was he destroying his own magic and end of the bond despite knowing what it could do to Harry and Severus? Was he hurting them?

When Harry suddenly met his eyes, Draco felt panic fill him. He turned without a word and dashed into the lavatory, slamming the door behind him. He leaned against it, feeling his heart and breathing pick up speed.

"Do you see now?"

Draco's eyes flew to the mirror above the sink and walked over, shaking his head at his father. Lucius smirked at him.

"Do you see what you have done?"

Harry's blue face and Severus' bloody arm and Narcissa's empty eyes flashed in the mirror over his and Lucius' reflections. He slammed his own eyes shut against the things he'd caused, shaking his head aggressively though in denial or regret of what he'd done, he wasn't sure. When the stabbing sensation returned to his sternum, Draco quickly opened his eyes and tore open his shirt, staring at the silvery lines that now covered his entire torso and were wrapping around his arms and climbing his neck. He clutched the sink, fingers curling into the porcelain as he suddenly swayed, weakness suddenly befalling his body.

Well, perhaps not suddenly. It had been getting steadily more common, but he'd gotten extraordinarily good at ignoring the waves of weakness. He met Lucius' twisted grin again.

"You understand now. You see who and what you truly are."

"I'm not you. I will never be—"

"Stop fighting, Draco. Embrace who you are. You know what to do. Let them go and come back to where you belong."

"I won't! I can't!" Draco shouted desperately.

"Come now. You already have. Look again at what you've done," Lucius taunted.

The same images of Harry, Severus, and Narcissa flashed through the mirror again. This time they were followed up by that moment in Malfoy Manor where Draco tried to destroy Lucius' core. Draco was flooded with the sadistic, almost gleeful rage he'd felt then only to be wracked with sickening horror and guilt. He gripped the sink again as his legs shook, threatening to collapse under him as pain pierced his chest again and the silvery tendrils grew.

"You see what you can be."

"No! I didn't mean to! I don't want to be you! I don't…I don't—"

His breaths started coming in sharp gasps and hot tears fell down his cool cheeks, ice washing over his body as he continued shaking. Harry, Severus, Narcissa, and Lucius flashed through the mirror, making him squeeze his eyes shut only for their faces to appear on the back of his eyelids.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Draco?"

Eyes popping open though still blurred by tears, Draco spun around to find Harry standing in the doorway, blanket still wrapped around him. The Gryffindor looked worried and, for some reason, it made Draco feel even more nauseous with his heavy guilt. He didn't deserve to have Harry worry over him.

He felt the tiniest of flutters as his and Harry's magic automatically reached for each other before they both pulled back. He couldn't let his magic touch Harry's, couldn't contaminate Harry, not when Harry was so good. Not like him, not after what he'd done.

He let out a quiet cry as pain tore through his chest again and he collapsed, his legs giving out.

"I'm sorry," he whispered despairingly, jumping when there was a touch to his shoulder. He met Harry's still worried eyes and he choked back a sob. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Harry asked.

"For what I did. For what I am. For who I am," Draco sobbed. "I…I tried not to be like him, but…but I am."

"Like who?"

"My father!" Draco cried. "I can't escape him!"

"No, no, you're not like him."

"Look at what I've done! I've tried to get rid of him, but he's part of me!"

"You haven't done anything."

"I tried to kill him and I almost killed you and I'm letting Voldemort kill Severus! I have to stop it!"

The pain in his chest was becoming more constant and the silvery strands had reached his hands. He saw Harry's eyes widen.

"What are you doing?"

Draco shook his head, dropping his eyes to the floor. "I won't be like him. I won't…I'm sorry."

"Draco, stop. You haven't done anything. You're not like Lucius. I'm the one that should be sorry. This is all my fault."

Draco's eyes flew back up to Harry, confused. What could possibly be Harry's fault? What could Harry have to apologize for? "What?"

"I let Voldemort get to you and Severus. He's in my head. He knew about you because of me. We were at Malfoy Manor because of me. Everything that happened is because of me. It's my fault, not yours. That's why I said you shouldn't be my brother because of what I've done to you. I only hurt you and you don't deserve that. You are not like Lucius. Please, please stop hurting yourself." Harry's voice sounded like it was on the verge of breaking by the end of his mini speech, its content pulling at Draco.

"It…it's not your fault," Draco argued weakly.

"It's not your fault either," Harry said. "Please believe me. I'm so sorry."

Draco reached out and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, bringing them together in a tight hug. Harry's arms came around his neck and their heads came to rest on each other's shoulders, blankets still draped over both of them. He clutched onto Harry, feeling his brother's tears dampen his shoulder and how they both trembled. Small wisps of their magic found their way through their respective blocks and tangled together, Draco's magic feeling more alive from the single touch than it had in weeks.

The longer they sat holding each other, the more their magic tangled and the more the pain in Draco's chest eased.

"Boys?"

Draco lifted his head from Harry's shoulder while Harry turned around. Leif was now the one in the open doorway and watching them in concern before he came over to kneel in front of them. Leif lifted one of Draco's hands to examine the silver threads on his skin before also looking sadly into his eyes after lightly tracing one of the strands crawling up his neck onto his jawline. Draco felt guilt gnaw at him again.

"I need you both to stop doing this," Leif told them. "You could die."

"But it's my fault." Draco and Harry looked at each other as they echoed before turning back to Leif who looked even sadder.

"Listen to me and forgive me," Leif implored. "If you do not stop blocking your magic and your bond, Severus is going to die."

"What?" they said together again, dread filling Draco.

"Your Life Bond is about protection meaning, while it is strong and in place, it provides a layer of protection against any harmful bonds and connections," Leif explained. "By cutting yourselves off, you are breaking the bond which has left Severus without that protection from Voldemort. Voldemort can use Severus' Mark to its fullest extent and he is using it to kill Severus right now."

Draco was terrified at the idea of Severus dying because he'd unknowingly blocked the bond while unknowingly destroying his own magic, but he was still just as terrified of what he'd done, of becoming what his father had always wanted.

"You have done nothing wrong," Leif continued, his tone firm and almost pleading. "Nothing that happened was your fault. You think you are protecting each other, but you have your strength when you are together. You are so much more to each other than you realize even despite Severus' petition for your adoption. Alone is no longer the way for any of you."

Draco still didn't know what to do or say, but he felt a subtle thrum deep in his chest and the way more of his magic continued to escape him to find Harry.

"No one blames you," Leif told them. "If you want to protect each other, you must keep the bond alive and you need to let us help you…let us love you because what you think you are is not what we see."

Draco was taken aback by the immortal's emotion and he looked at Harry again, the Gryffindor mirroring him. He thought of how blue and cold Harry had been hardly an hour ago, of how bloody Severus' arm had become and the seizure the man had suffered. If destroying his magic and cutting off the bond had caused those things…

They were things he never wanted to see again. He would do anything to ensure they were safe and, clearly, what he'd been doing was not protecting them. Whether Lucius was right or not, whether everything was his fault or not, he had to do anything for Harry and Severus…for his family. He was certain he saw the same thoughts passing behind Harry's green eyes.

So, he reached in and pulled at his magic for the first time in weeks. It swirled at his attention and, as he let it out, it immediately wrapped itself around Harry's and Severus' magic. As their magic mixed, Draco felt his residual chest pain and weakness disappear, and he was filled with a warmth he knew was their Life Bond regaining strength. It made him realize he'd been existing with a deep hole and cold ache since their return to Hogwarts, things he hadn't even noticed or he'd chosen to ignore. A rush of magic that didn't belong to any of them washed over him and he knew it was Lady Magic expressing her joy over their reunion.

When a hand cupped his cheek, Draco looked back at Leif who was smiling as he held both Draco's and Harry's faces.

"There you are," Leif murmured. "Come on. Let's go check on Severus."

Leif helped Draco and Harry to their feet, readjusting their blankets to fully wrap around them again. Draco walked closely beside Harry, every brush of their arms making his magic leap to find all the others it had come to know so well, especially Harry's. Leif guided them out of the lavatory and across the Hospital Wing to the bed Severus had come to sit on the edge of, his head cradled in one hand while his left arm rested on his leg, forearm up for Alexei's treatment and inspection. Before they were even close enough to see anything in detail, Draco was still able to spot the streaks and smears of red that had found their way to Severus' pale hand, and he immediately felt sick with guilt again.

"How are you feeling, Severus?" Leif asked as they approached.

"It would seem Voldemort has eased off or Alexei's venom is finally taking effect," Severus said, slowly lifting his head. "How are the—what in Merlin's name has happened to you?"

Draco glanced down at his still bare torso, his abdomen not hidden behind the blanket draped over his shoulders. The silvery lines were still there, but they did seem to be receding ever so slightly. He looked back at Severus, shifting uncomfortably.

"Sit down," Alexei ordered, grasping Severus' wrist as the man made to stand. Draco couldn't help but share an amused look with Harry despite the serious situation as Severus scowled at the vampire, only receiving a pointed look in return. "Do I look like I'm done? The bond is back in place, giving you that barrier again, but this must still be treated."

"Do hurry up," Severus grumbled. "I must have a long overdue conversation with my sons."

Draco's eyes widened and he felt Harry tremble next to him. Had Severus really just called them…

Somehow, despite considering Harry his brother, thinking of all these men as his family, and Severus applying for their adoption, it had never occurred to him that Severus could think of them as…that. It made him realize he'd been stopping himself from crossing that line, so afraid to think of Severus as that in the face of what he'd done, of what he was so scared he was. He hadn't wanted to cross that line only for Severus to realize that truth and leave him behind or, even worse, send him back to Lucius because that's where he truly belonged. How could he see anyone as that when he didn't even know what that was supposed to be like? Alternatively, how could anyone see him as that when his own parents hadn't?

Mind swirling, Draco watched as Alexei used a dropper to drip beads of a translucent liquid onto Severus Mark, liquid he knew was a purified form of Alexei's venom that had been used as a numbing agent as nothing else had remained effective. The black skull and snake were no longer writhing as aggressively and, while the Mark was still inflamed and bloody, the severity had decreased, leaving behind what looked like burnt flesh around the edges and drying blood. The vampire cleaned away the blood immediately around the Mark before spreading a clear gel over the tattoo and finishing by wrapping the professor's arm in crisp white bandages.

"Alright, come to me if you need more of my venom," Alexei told Severus. "The three of you also need to relax for the night, and keep an eye on Harry. With your history of malnutrition and untreated illnesses, you are at risk of this bout of hypothermia causing pneumonia."

Draco leaned against Harry a little more as the Gryffindor nodded, his arm warming where they touched and their magic twisting energetically.

"I would also suggest some physical contact to help your magic reconnect, heal Draco, and to re-establish the bond completely," Leif added, rubbing Draco's and Harry's backs through their blankets.

"Thank you, gentlemen," Severus said, getting to his feet. "We will see you at dinner tomorrow. Until then, come along, boys."

Draco smiled when Leif moved his hands from his and Harry's backs to wrap around their chests, pulling them into a hug from behind before letting go to push them gently towards Severus. Bidding goodbye to Leif and Alexei, Draco allowed himself to be guided next to Harry by Severus down to the dungeons.

Severus breathed slowly and deeply as he waited for the water to boil, letting his eyes drift closed for a few moments to gain the composure he felt was constantly at risk of imploding. He was so bloody tired. The exhaustion was just so deep. His boys had been suffering so much more than he'd realized and he was uncertain he could truly help them. He was becoming more and more unsure he was capable of being not only what they so desperately needed, but what he truly wanted to be for them. Perhaps they needed more than him.

Yet, when he felt their magic that had been absent for so long, felt the way it wrapped around him, felt the warmth in his forearm that was their bond keeping the worst of the pain at bay, and heard the quiet sounds of them talking while changing into their pajamas as he'd instructed, another part of him knew that whatever they needed, only he could give it at that point. They were not disposable or replaceable and he didn't want to be either. He would not give up on them or himself…not again…not anymore.

The whistling of the kettle opened his eyes and he swiftly made three cups of tea, the boys' preferences memorized long ago. Once prepared, he grabbed his, levitated the other two, and left the kitchen. Harry and Draco were just leaving their bedroom as Severus entered the sitting area, both dressed in the fleece pajama bottoms Alexei had gifted them for Christmas and simple sleep T-shirts, chatting quietly, still fairly subdued.

"To my room," he said when they looked at him questioningly, his instruction only deepening the expressions. "We need to talk, but you also need to rest and we need to maintain physical contact. I also assume neither of you have really been sleeping. I intend to address all of these at once so go on to my room."

The boys glanced at each other as they so often did, clearly confused and hesitant, but eventually did as Severus told them, Severus following them with the tea. He waved his hand casually to light the sconces on the wall of either side of his bed, allowing them to see in the otherwise dark room. Harry and Draco cast him another uncertain look and he just gestured for them to climb into the bed, moving to perch on the edge himself until they were settled. Despite their uncertainty, he still saw them visibly relax as they sank into pillows and pulled the duvet over their legs. He levitated their tea to them, Draco cupping it in his hands as Harry instantly took a sip.

"Now, there are many things we need to discuss, but the first thing I need from the both of you is honesty over what has been going on," he began once he knew they were comfortable. He glanced at the lines he could still see on Draco's arms and neck, glad to see them receding and fading slightly, but pained at the idea of what they meant. "Harry, you first. How did you end up outside?"

Harry's gaze fell to the tea he balanced on his bent knees. "I don't know."

Severus frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I honestly don't know," Harry repeated. "I've been blacking out almost since we came back to Hogwarts. It started as just a few seconds or minutes, but it's gotten to be hours recently."

"You have been constantly and fully Occluding this whole time, yes?" Severus asked and Harry nodded. "The blackouts could very well be a symptom. Tell me why."

Harry sighed. "I thought I could keep Voldemort out of my mind and away from you two. I didn't want him using my magic or end of the bond to do what he did at Malfoy Manor or anything else."

Severus held back his own sigh and turned to Draco. "And you?"

Draco looked pained as he answered. "I've been seeing Lucius."

Severus' eyes widened.

"He's been telling me I'm just like him because of what I did to him at the manor. I didn't realize exactly what I was doing at first, but I was apparently blocking the bond and destroying my magic."

"Why?" Severus questioned.

Draco gave a small shrug, tapping his teacup uncomfortably. "I was scared of what I'd done. I thought Harry had cut off the bond because of what I did and I was afraid of doing the same thing to you two."

Severus looked between the two boys, hearing the underlying reason neither of them had said. It was time to address it once and for all.

"It is time for us to truly talk about this. I thought we'd dealt with it over break, but I suppose we talked at you and not with you," Severus said. "As such, I want you both to tell me why you think you are to blame for what happened. Draco, you start."

"The Death Eater kids were after me and so was Lucius. If I hadn't run away this summer, Mother wouldn't have been killed, Leif wouldn't have been attacked, and the Slytherins wouldn't have taken me, they wouldn't have taken Harry, and you wouldn't have had to come for us. And then what I did to Lucius…" The young Slytherin looked ill as he trailed off.

Severus wanted to immediately argue each of Draco's points, but he knew he had to address the boys' issues differently this time. He turned to Harry.

"Voldemort's in my head and he's always been after me. He saw you two through me. He used me to take our magic because I'm connected to him. I'm the one he wants for the prophecy and he wouldn't have known about Draco's magic if not for me. He can drain out magic at any time now because of me," Harry told him, repeating all the same things he'd heard before.

Severus gazed at them for a few moments as both boys curled into themselves, sipping and staring into their tea. He took a drink of his own tea as he contemplated how to proceed, absently glad and surprised at how honesty and forthcoming the boys had been. Perhaps they were just as tired as he was. He needed to make them understand and believe. Eventually, he knew.

"All of that is true to some extent," he started, watching knowing sadness cast shadows in the teens' faces, "but there are things you have not considered. What have you done or gained because of your magic and this bond?"

Harry and Draco looked at him almost curiously, and he gave them a small smile.

"Your magic saved you and allowed you to escape your abusive homes. I know you do not like thinking of them as such, but abusive is what they were," Severus told them. "Your magic also brought you to me which has led to many things: Leif and Alexei returning to my life and entering yours, the Life Bond which is the reason we all survived Malfoy Manor, the change between you two, and the change in how I feel about you which has led to now where I intend to fight for your adoption because you…are…my…sons."

He paused, seeing the hesitant wonder the boys tried not to let seep into them.

"Yes, the other things happened and they did so with your unintentional involvement, but they are not the only things that have happened," Severus explained. "Your magic and our bond have changed lives that were in desperate need. I understand your guilt over your unwilling roles in everything that has happened, but I want you to understand that you have also had roles in incredible things and you do not deserve any of the pain you think you do. You deserve safety and protection and love, and your magic and our bond provide that. The two of you have created what we have and you deserve to be a part of it regardless of what else happens. Feel your magic, feel the way our magic connects, and know it is true. Magic does not lie."

He watched them look at each other and felt a pulse in the copious amount of their magic that was dancing around, tangling together and with his. They soon leaned against each other and looked back at him, nodding.

"Okay," they chorused and Severus smiled. He knew they still had a long way to go to truly deal with their deep trauma, but it felt like they were finally willing to believe him.

"I think it is time to sleep, particularly for the two of you," Severus said, taking each teacup and banishing them to the kitchen. He gestured for the boys to separate and settled himself between them as Draco shuffled along the foot to get onto his right side. He laid down and gestured for both boys to do the same, sighing when they hesitated. "We all need to sleep and we need physical contact. Lay down and relax."

It took a few seconds, but they soon did so. They shuffled around under the blanket and, by the time they'd finished adjusting Draco's head was leaning on Severus' shoulder and Harry had come to rest on Severus' chest. Severus stretched his right arm across Draco to curl his hand lightly around Draco's thigh and wrapped his other arm around Harry's shoulders, carding his fingers through the dark hair.

"You are still Occluding, Harry?" he asked quietly a few minutes later, feeling the weight of the boys increase as they relaxed and drifted closer to sleep.

"Yeah, just my mind though. Not my magic or the bond anymore."

"Continue. I will have to help you take your wall down and readjust to avoid any shock to your mind and system," Severus replied. Harry just nodded on his chest, clearly tired. "Sleep now, my sons."

He briefly removed his hand from Harry's hair to extinguish the sconces, dousing them in darkness. Returning his fingers to the messy hair, he also moved his thumb over Draco's thigh, encouraging them into deep, needed sleep. Their magic settled as they did, but continued tangling and flowing through them. He could also feel the cold ache that had settled in his chest the last few weeks ease, replaced by a warm, steady thrum that he knew was the Life Bond being revitalized.

Hearing the deepened breathing, he knew the boys had finally fallen asleep and he breathed a sigh of relief. He tried to focus on their weight and breathing and flowing magic to erase Harry's blue face and the silver fractals crawling across Draco's skin from his memory. He forced himself not to think of how close he'd been to losing them again. He forced himself to fall asleep with the determination to never lose them to anyone or anything. He fell asleep with the determination to prove to them just how loved and wanted they'd become.