Eighteen

B

The drive across town is silent, and my belly is tight with anxiety.

Edward wants to talk, and l'll be here to listen. Even if I don't like what I hear, I'll stay with him if he asks. All he has to do is say the words.

When he pulls into the driveway of a two-story house, it's dark, aside from the porch light glowing in the night.

He cuts off the engine but doesn't move, and that just won't do.

"So, you live here?"

All I get is a nod, so I climb out of the car and head for the front door, giving him no choice but to follow me.

I stand back while he fumbles with his keys until he finds the correct one. He unlocks the door and opens it in invitation. The foyer is dark until he hits the lights, and I'm blinded for a moment.

"Make yourself comfortable," he tells me and walks down a dark hall without looking back, hitting switches as he goes.

I find the living room easily and kick my shoes off, taking a seat on the plush couch in front of a giant fireplace. I look around. There isn't much as far as decoration, but the room is cozy and comfortable.

I'm leafing through the stacks of paperbacks that litter the coffee table when he enters the room with two beers and a nervous frown.

I smile and pat the cushion next to me. "Come sit with me."

He takes his seat and sits stoically straight with nerves. When he offers me a beer, I shake my head, and he sets them both down, not saying a word.

"You know, when you asked me to come home with you so we could talk, I wasn't expecting the conversation to be so one-sided," I joke.

Edward sighs and pulls on the ends of his hair in frustration. "I just don't know where to start."

I turn to him and pull my feet under me. "Let's be clear. You want me, right?"

His green eyes are shrouded in negativity. He nods. "We've already established that. I told you I want you."

"There's a but in there."

"For one, your age. We're at different stages in our lives."

"What makes you say that? We've never really talked about anything to do with our futures."

"Rebar is my life, and you're still trying to find your place in the world, Bella."

I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. "Right now, Rebar is where I want to be." I reach out and grab his hand. "I wouldn't be working there if I didn't want to, so stop making assumptions." That's sort of a lie. I'm there because he's there, and I just want to be by his side. I feel safe and comfortable with Edward, and I like it.

He flips our hands over and squeezes my fingers. "You work for me. Things could get messy if it doesn't work out."

"Then I quit," I say simply.

His eyes widen and his hold tightens. "You quit?"

"l'd quit if it was a choice between being with you and working for you. I'd quit for you, Edward."

I'm surprised when tears start to well up in my eyes. I hate crying, especially in front of other people. It makes me feel weak, vulnerable. I don't want Edward to see me cry so I close my eyes and will the tears away.

When he takes my face in his hands with a featherlight touch, I'm not used to him being so gentle with me. He's usually so powerful and commanding. A single tear slips down my cheek, and his thumb swipes it away.

"Why are you crying?"

I look up, taken off guard by the care and worry in his eyes.

Something comes over me, and I grab him, pulling him down so I can crash my lips to his. It takes him a moment to catch on and reciprocate. Our positions change, and I'm straddling his lap, grinding down on his hardening member.

I fumble with the buttons on his flannel, but my hands are shaking too much. Instead, I reach for the hem of my shirt, and he stops me.

"Stop trying to take your clothes off."

"You wanna do that part?" I pant, but he shakes his head.

Rejection washes over me, but he's quick to soothe the ache.

"I want to. You know I do, but I brought you here to talk." He kisses me softly and gently pushes me off his lap. "I think I should tell you more about Jess, and why our marriage failed."