Winter's Refuge

Chapter One Hundred Seventy-Four

HEYES

With helping Rocky into the back seat of the buggy, I forgot about the Kid. I know his ankles are paining him. When I turned to help him down the steps, he was standing straight and coming down himself. He put one foot then the other on each step, but he didn't stop to rest. He might be fooling others, but he's not fooling me. I reached him in time to hear him tell the trustee that he'd send some dime novels out to the prison with Dr. Oliver.

"Kid, I know you're in pain. You can sit in the back of the buggy with Rocky and tie your horse to the back if you want."

With a slight grin he said, "I got this Heyes." Limping, he pulled the horse over to the steps. "Think you could help me up a couple of stairs and then give me a lift onto him?" he whispered.

I gave him a wink and cupped my hands so he could get into the saddle without using the stirrups. He settled into a secure, balanced position without using the stirrups.

He gave me a nod of thanks.

And we set out as before, with the addition of Rocky in the buggy. Dr. Oliver waited until we had rounded the bend, and every visage of that foul-smelling monstrosity was gone. I knew the Kid would want a log or boulder to help him down, so I led our horses into the trees toward the nearby stream. The Kid tried to slide off his horse, but the second he had to put weight on his right ankle, he lost his balance. But I was there to catch him. He sat on the boulder and took a sharp breath.

"Maybe Dr. Oliver can look at your ankles and bandage them or something to help the pain," I told him.

"He needs to help, Rocky. I'll wait here," he said.

"I'll sit with you. Got something I need to talk to you about," I told him.

"What's that, partner?" he answered.

"Well, thanks for pretending you needed your cane so you could help me across the exercise yard. I was fighting those demons and devils that Father Patrick told us about. But the weirdest thing happened. Helping you go down the stairs and concentrating on us getting Rocky out of that place, the demons went away. And then I was worried about you and Rocky riding here and how I could help, and they didn't come back!" Heyes explained.

The Kid gave me a smile that reached his eyes. "That's 'cause you took all their power over you away because you were thinkin' about others. Good work! I'm proud of you."

It felt good to have him tell me that...and from his smile I knew he meant it.

Dr. Oliver was calling us, "Heyes, Jed, could you come help me with this stubborn patient."

"I'll go. Stay here," I told him.

Colin is a good politician and negotiator but a rotten nurse. The doctor had Rocky sitting up sideways on the seat so he could get at his back. He was gently taking the strips of Rocky's tattered and cut shirt off of him. Colin was supporting him, so he didn't move too much as it was done. But when Rocky would jolt back, Colin would let go. Dr. Oliver had told him to go for a walk; he could work better without him.

"Heyes, make sure Rocky doesn't move. I need to get what's left of his shirt off and treat his back. Still must reclean that shiv wound," Dr Oliver told me. "I think the bruises he got from the other prisoners can wait until we get to my house."

"No!" was the first word Rocky had said since we stopped.

"No, what?" I asked.

"Not doctor's house. Don't want to see Steph and Steve like this," Rocky answered. The effort forced him to lean more against me, exhausted.

I looked at the doctor before I answered and hoped my silver tongue was working. "Rocky, me and the Kid have learned that it's not a good idea to hide things from your family. You know what it did to the Kid."

Opening his swollen eyes a slit, he studied me. "You sure, Mr. Heyes? I don't want my family to think less of me."

"If he's not, I am. Secrets only hurt them," the Kid's voice came from my right.

Rocky tried to turn and look at him, but I held him firm. But our eyes met for a moment, and he smiled.

"Good, Jed, you're here. There's a second medical bag under the front seat. Open it and give me one of the shirts on top," Dr. Oliver ordered.

Only I could see the Kid limp to the front seat and find the black bag. "You have a bag of shirts?" he asked,

"Clean shirts and pants," he answered. "Don't want to go home and have my wife see blood, or other things, on my clothes."

"Then don't let her see me," Rocky added.

JED 'KID' CURRY

Rocky was settled into the downstairs bedroom under the stairs at the Arden's house before his siblings got home from school. Heyes caught them as they entered and gave them an abbreviated version of what happened to Rocky, leavin' out Stephanie's letter. And then he made Rocky out a hero for what happened in the prison…and told them about all the injuries, includin' the shiv wound but not the whippin'.

"Oh, Rocky, it's so good to see you. Are you alright?" Stephanie said with a huge smile as she came into the room and sat on the side of the bed. "Dr. Oliver will take the best care of you, and I'll help." She kissed his cheek under the blackened eyes. "I missed you so much!"

"Mr. Heyes told us what happened. And he said it was hard for you to talk," Steven said, standin' behind his sister. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Much better than I did this mornin'," Rocky mumbled, tryin' to give them a smile.

Heyes motioned to me, and we slipped out of the room.

Dr. Oliver got the kids out of the room soon after that tellin' them that Rocky needed his rest. Stephanie turned to her older brother. "Just finish your parole, Rocky, and then we can be a family again."

In the livin' room Steven gave Heyes a look I didn't like and headed straight for me. "Mr. Curry, my sister and I were pleased when you agreed to sponsor Rocky's parole. Mr. Heyes and you assured the prison board and us that you would take care of him and keep him on the straight and narrow and help him. BUT YOU DIDN'T! And he ended up back in prison. And now he's hurt, and I think he's hurt worse than Mr. Heyes told us. And it's your fault. All your fault. Rocky trusted you. We trusted you. And now he told us three months have been added to his parole"

"You lied to us," Stephanie added to the accusation. "Don't know why the parole board is letting him go back with you. This is all your fault!"

I didn't know what to say. They're right. I didn't keep Rocky safe. I took a step back away from them. What was I thinkin' takin' on an apprentice? I'm not good enough to sponsor a parolee. I shook my head. I'm worthless to myself and others. Poor Rocky, he helped me, but I couldn't keep him safe.

"Kid?" Heyes said, comin' over and tryin' to look me in the eyes, but I don't let him.

Rocky's voice came from the bedroom. "Steven, stop! It ain't Mr. Curry's fault. It's all mine," he yelled. I don't know where he got the strength.

Everyone looked to the bedroom. "Stephanie, Steven come here," ordered Rocky.

Rocky held out his hand to his sister and proceeded to explain about Stephanie's letter. The room was quiet and the emotion in Rocky's voice couldn't be denied. My emotions are still hard to contain, but this time I didn't try to hide the tears in my eyes for this boy who was standin' up for me.

Rocky looked his sister and brother in the eyes and continued, "I understand why you want to stay here. Dr. Oliver and Miss Nancy have given you a real nice life. You deserve it. I can't ever give you anything like this. So, I did what pa did when something went wrong, I started drinking for the first time in my life. Never wanted to be like him, but I guess I am." Rocky looked at them with a little grin. "Don't ever drink whiskey, it tastes nasty."

Stephanie started to say, "My letter? But I…" when Rocky cut her off.

"My dream of all of us living at Phoenix together died with that letter. Mr. Curry and Mr. Heyes were away, but I had a lot of people there who cared about me. Hope they still do a little…I could have talked to Mrs. Clark or Mrs. Heyes or Mrs. Curry. They've all been real kind to me."

Stephanie tried to talk again, "You read my letter wrong."

Rocky kept talkin', lookin' at me and Heyes now. "Mr. Curry always watched out for me and treated me as family. And Mr. Heyes figured out that I didn't steal no money and got that charge dismissed."

"You were accused of stealing, like Pa?" asked Steven, horrified.

"Just like Pa by one of his no-good drinking buddies, Norman Honmeyer. But Mr. Heyes and the sheriff believed I didn't steal no money."

"The one Ma called Slimy Norm?" asked Stephanie.

HEYES

"Slimy Norm?" I asked.

"One and the same. But Steph, I agree with what you wrote. You have a perfect life here. And I'm glad you are away from the Smiths."

Stephanie started crying. "Oh, Rocky, no. That's not what my letter meant. I just wanted you to know you didn't have to worry about us while you're on parole. We want nothing more than to be a family with you again."

"But the Ardens?" Rocky asked, not really believin' what she said.

She looked shyly at Dr. Oliver. "Dr. Oliver and Miss Nancy will be our family, too. They're very nice and we will always consider them family, but we want to be with you. Steve and I always talk about joining you at Phoenix. That's where we belong."

"But I'll never be able to give you what they can - fancy girls' schools, pretty writing paper and a house like this and…"

Stephanie hugged her older brother, who was tiring quickly. "My letter said we love you and miss you. Believe that."

I saw the tears in Rocky's eyes as he lost his battle to stay conscious and we left the room.

Steven caught the Kid's arm. The Rocke kids were both lookin' at him. Steven spoke first. "I'm sorry I blamed you, Mr. Curry. Rocky said you've always looked after him. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for him."

Both Stephanie and Steven apologized to the Kid and asked for his forgiveness. Their voices were sincere. But I can tell he's not really hearing what they are saying, even though he smiled and said, "Apology accepted. No harm done." I can tell their accusations went to his heart and he believed them and it's eating at him.

"Would you excuse us? Mr. Curry and I have something we need to discuss." I told the siblings.

JED 'KID' CURRY

Steven accused me to my face of what I've been thinkin' since I saw Rocky in the dark cell. Every wound on his body - the shiv wound, the lashes, the black eyes and beatin' he took are my fault. Like Stephanie said, I failed him, and he paid the consequences. I heard when Rocky talked to his siblings. He told them I wasn't to blame. He's just sayin' that so he can come back to Phoenix…

"Kid, listen to me." Heyes poked me in the chest and yelled.

I locked eyes with him. I don't know if that was a mistake or not. Now he can tell what I'm feelin', what I'm thinkin'. It's almost like I was thinkin' out loud. "You think we need to talk?" I asked him.

"What do you think?" Heyes answered my question with a question.

"Guess I do. But Heyes, they are right," I protested.

"You're no more to blame than I am, or Angie or Chrissy. The boy made a choice based on what he read in his sister's letter. HIS CHOICE, Kid, not yours. He admitted he could have chosen to talk to our ladies, but he didn't. Rocky has only had two male role models in his life. One tried to kill himself and the other lost himself in drink and deserted his family." Heyes looked hard at me when he said the last sentence.

His words struck me hard, but I needed that. He let silence settle between us until I broke it. "Heyes, thank you," I said, not lookin' at him.

"Kid?"

"You said what everyone avoids sayin', like it's a…an embarrassin' secret. I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. When I heard you say it out loud, it makes it real and I'm good at fightin' real things." I sighed. "I'm not explainin' it good. No one says what I did. They say I was depressed…or lost in my despair." I studied my cousin's face to see if he understood. He did.

So, I continued, "I understand Rocky made a choice…a bad choice. And we're gonna make sure he doesn't do it again." And what I said I meant. His words gave me permission to admit to myself that I'd tried to kill myself and truly to commit to myself that it will never ever happen again.

Dr. Oliver came over to where me and Heyes were talking. "Now that Rocky's clean and settled, l need to check your ankles."

HEYES

I'd said what was in my mind and somehow it was the right thing to say. The Kid tried to explain what he felt. I didn't understand in the moment, but I do now. I sent a telegram to Phoenix that we would be delayed two days.

When we did get home, Rocky was fussed over and pampered and spent the first day on the living room couch, while he went from sleeping to visiting with the family. And that evening we started, as a family, another of Sletten's novels, Kid Curry Quells the Minerva Mine Dragon. In smaller letters it said, "With the help of his partner, Hannibal Heyes." I hadn't had time to read it, but I read the last chapter, and the dragon is something that a gang tells the town to keep them out of the mine where their ill-gotten money was hidden. I hoped it wouldn't lead to any more embarrassing questions.

Michael read the first chapter and we stopped and asked if there were any questions.

"Pa's horse Blackie again. What Unc Heyes' horse?" Joy asked. I know most of the story goes over her head, but she likes the horses.

Michael answered her, "We'll have to keep reading to find out," he told her, with a look at his ma.

"Tomorrow," Chrissy answered his unasked question of whether he could read more.

We all said goodnight until only me and the Kid were left with Rocky. He sat up but made no effort to stand up. Instead, he said, "Just want to say thank you again...for…for…for everything, including making me feel like family."

"You are family," I said.

JED 'KID' CURRY

"You on go to bed, Heyes. I'll get Rocky settled for the night," I told him. He looked at me and nodded in understandin'.

"Night, Kid. Rocky, glad you're home," Heyes said.

'Good night, Mr. Heyes," Rocky said to him as he disappeared down the hall. I waited until I heard Heyes close his bedroom door.

"You know what I gotta do," I said to Rocky.

He nodded and let me help him stand up. Stiffly, he walked to his bedroom. "I know, Mr. Curry and, again, it ain't your fault."

He sat on the side of the bed and smiled at the nightshirt left there. We had decided it was best he slept in a nightshirt and not his long johns with women and kids in the house. As he changed, I got out the shackles I had left in a box by the door. "You know I hate to see you wearin' these at night," I told him.

"As much as I hate wearing them, but if it means staying out of prison, it's the price I'll pay,' he said resigned.

"Well, Colin, er, Mr. Apperson, said I could modify the shackles to add an extra rung or two and make them more comfortable for you. You should be able to sleep on your side now, if you want," I told him.

"Thanks, Mr. Curry." Rocky turned away from me as I heard him chokin' back tears. Sometimes I forget how young he is.

"Welcome. And look at this. I made another modification, just between me and you," I said, showin' him what I had done.

He laid back with a small smile as I shackled him to the bed. "Thanks, again, and it'll stay between you and me, I promise."