In the city of Baldwin on the desert planet of Tarlok VII, Shadow Lass (Tasmia) engaged the Destroyers as they were called. The Destroyers who had attacked Triton, the moon of Neptune, earlier were now back. They were humanoid with green skin, clawed hands and feet, and cables that wrapped around their chests and the back of their heads. They quickly adapted and mutated to deal with any opponent.
As the Tarloks fled the scene, Tasmia leaped up and sliced down through a Destroyer's shoulder with a spear. The annoyed Destroyer bitch-slapped her away.
With Tasmia down, the Destroyer powered up an orb in its chest and fired. Brainiac 5 intervened in time with his forcefield shielding them both from the beam. "Are you hurt?" Brainiac 5 asked as he eyed her.
"Fine," Tasmia replied, smarting.
"It seems to be analyzing my forcefield," Brainiac 5 noted as the Destroyer sensed around the forcefield with its cabled tentacles from its head. "I wonder what adaption it will try to get around it."
The Destroyer formed a crystalized blade on its hand to try to get through the forcefield. "Suzumushi Tsuishiki Enma KÅrogi," Tasmia said as a giant black tent trapped it inside total darkness.
Even so, the Destroyer went straight for her. "It can still sense you," Brainiac 5 warned. "I recommend splitting its head in half vertically."
Tasmia leaped up and slashed down slicing the Destroyer in half vertically with her sword and cancelled the black tent around them. "What the fuck was that?" she asked Brainiac 5.
"Unknown, they have been attacking random planets within the Galactic Federation in squadrons. This was likely the last survivor. I'll study the remains of this one for clues," Brainiac 5 said.
As if to frustrate him, the Destroyer's body disintegrated upon death. "Well...shit," Tasmia muttered.
Earth-Vindicator HQ
Garth awoke to his phone alarm clock. "You have 7,697 messages, 530 from executive staff, and one from the Supreme Leader," his phone informed him.
"Holy shit," Garth said overwhelmed.
He eventually got out of bed and eyed several posters of Imra in various feminine attire. His apartment was rather basic with a bed that was curved so he could watch TV looking up, a couch, a cricket bat, a soccer ball, a guitar, a desktop computer, and various bottles of alcohol everywhere.
Garth entered the Vindicator Hall and met up with several other Vindicators waiting for his fearless leadership: Shrinking Violet (Salu), Ultra Boy (Jo), Phantom Girl (Tinya), Colossal Boy (Gim), Triplicate Girl (Luornu), Element Lad (Jan), and Chameleon Boy (Reep), Karate Kid (Val), Light Lass (Ayala). "Sup?" Garth greeted them all.
"So, how was last night? Are you two...?" Tinya asked Ayala curiously.
"Oh, we're just friends but we did fuck," Ayala smiled referring to Val, her so-called Karate instructor.
Saturn Girl (Imra), Timber Wolf (Brin), Star Boy (Thom), and Invisible Kid (Lyle) also arrived together. "I have a grievance against Imra," Brin said pissed off.
"Like that's going anywhere," Imra rolled her eyes.
"Let's hear it," Garth allowed.
"On our last mission, she entered my mind. That's a violation," Brin said peeved.
"You nearly killed a city official when you went feral. Your constant instinct to either kill or hump me has worn me down," Imra explained.
"Hey, I thought we were the good guys. If he assaulted someone and nearly killed a Vindicator, should he even be here?" Tinya asked hoping to create a fight.
"You're the one that doesn't belong here, Phantom Girl. All you do is run and hide," Brin shot back.
"Nobody better invade my mind. It's dark and scary," Tasmia warned.
"Your mind is going to go subatomic if you mess with me," Salu added.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing. Saturn Girl...seized another Vindicator's...mind. I am so shocked and appalled," Jan said.
"I think preventing someone else's death or your own should be an exception," Ayala considered.
"Enough, Imra must be able to enter every one of your minds for strategy and tactics. She must know what you know so she can tell me what's happening. As for seizing another person's mind, it may only be done to save one's own life or that of another," Brainiac 5 said.
"I still think he should be sent to an asylum or animal shelter," Tinya mocked.
"Shut the fuck up, bitch, or I'll eat you before you do your phantom trick," Brin threatened.
"I rest my case," Tinya rolled her eyes.
"Down boy, stay," Jo mocked.
The Vindicators were about to all fight it out when Garth fired lightning in all directions to break everyone up. "Brin, what do you want me to do to Imra to shut you up?"
"She's your fuck-mate, you're not going to shit," Brin doubted.
"Just give me your fucking demands," Garth demanded impatiently.
"I'll settle with a threesome," Brin allowed. "And a promise she'll stay out of my head."
"Fuck...deal," Garth agreed. He then turned to Imra. "I want you to promise you won't intrude into the minds of other Vindicators for funsies."
"I'm not promising you shit. You may have the higher position, right now, but I still outrank your ass," Imra refused.
"You all...need therapy, God damn," Garth said of everyone.
"Wow, that was so masterclass in leadership, holy shit," Ayala said unironically to Tinya.
"He does seem less distracted," Tinya agreed.
"Is the time for drama over?" Brainiac 5 asked condescendingly to Garth. "We have much to discuss about these Destroyers."
"Sure, after a cup of Joe," Garth said and then ordered a robot assistant to get him one.
"Brother, I noticed the comm system is down," Ayala noted.
"Actually, I shut down all messages except the Supreme Leader, and I put up signs saying the HQ was under quarantine due to space AIDS. It's been heaven with the peace and quiet," Garth said pleased.
Garth avoided Brainiac 5's lecture on the Destroyers by working out in the training simulator. There, he zapped incoming floating cubes at a fast speed. As he did, he had to avoid simulated heroes with his lightning. "Not bad, your second highest accuracy score and your amperage are off the charts," Ayala complimented as she read the readings.
"Second highest? What the fuck?" Garth said disappointed in himself. "You know, I've fucked up a lot, made things worse, and I'm not nearly smart enough for this position, but whatever."
"I thought you handled that spat between Brin and your girlfriend well," Ayala shrugged.
"I did, didn't I?" Garth said impressed with himself.
"You're a strong leader, Garth, and we need a Winathian in charge of the Vindicator Corps," Ayala told him.
Projecta got served notices from various creditors. She eventually met with them at some law office. "Many creditors with claims against Orando have sued you and have already been granted summary judgments," the lead lawyer informed her.
"And as your representative, we have also been served similar suits because you have been difficult to find," another lawyer said grumpily.
"I wish I gave a shit," Projecta scoffed.
"These civil matters are complicated. Maybe if you renounced the throne, people would stop suing us," the third lawyer said annoyed.
"Yeah, that's treason," Projecta glared.
"Orando is a major economic engine. Just pay your credit card," the lead lawyer beseeched her.
"Yeah, fuck that," Projecta refused.
Exiting the law office, Projecta strolled down the streets of Metropolis when she was ambushed by some thugs wanting to collect on her debts. She instantly trapped them in illusions and beat the shit out of them with ease. Imra and Brin then arrived to corner off the scene so the thugs could be taken away.
"You, following me?" Projecta assumed of Brin.
"Yeah, to keep you out of trouble," Brin said defensively.
"And did you call me to wipe the memories of all these witnesses clean?" Imra assumed.
"Yeah," Brin said flatly.
"Such a hypocrite," Imra said and then snaped the memories of all the witnesses around them of the event.
Brainiac 5 began an autopsy of a Destroyer to find out clues about its anatomy. Lyle was in the room with him acting as an assistant. "Plasma torch is ineffective, let's try the inertron blade saw," Brainiac 5 ordered.
"Why do they call it the inertron?" Lyle asked curiously.
"The inertron blade saw is used for castration," Brainiac 5 explained. He identified the armor the Destroyer was wearing. "Particle beam lasers, rudimentary technology but effective."
Brainiac 5 then conducted the autopsy by going inside the torso. "No digestive system, several bionic receptors of unknown function. It would appear the reason this Destroyer has no self-destructed is because it's organelles are still functioning."
"It's still alive, holy shit," Lyle said concernedly.
"Testing for photovoltaic function by bathing the receptors in electromagnetic radiation serially across the spectrum. Yes, I see, mitochondrial activity is surging. I am reviving it," Brainiac 5 said fascinated.
"But why, man?" Lyle asked apprehensively.
"I'd find a weapon if I were you," Brainiac 5 told him.
The Destroyer suddenly awoke and started trashing the lab. Lyle went invisible, took the saw, and then ripped the Destroyer's back open with it. The Destroyer then fell to the floor dead. "Let us proceed," Brainiac 5 said nonchalantly.
"Is it really dead this time?" Lyle asked as he reappeared with alien blood all over himself.
The Destroyer then disintegrated into nothing. "Apparently," Brainiac 5 mused.
After the autopsy, Brainiac 5 and Garth had a chat. "So...what the fuck is it?" Garth wondered.
"Unknown, they traveled a far distance to get here at sub-light speed. It must have taken them millions of years and the damage to their armor indicates some of the races they attacked fought back. This Destroyer is far more technologically advanced than the one I encountered on Tarlok VIII. It was probably dispatched later, but being faster and more sophisticated, it caught up to the first wave," Brainiac 5 theorized.
"So?" Garth asked.
"It's puzzling. If the maker's technology was advancing, then why didn't the hyper-lightspeed Destroyers arrive in this quadrant millennia before the sub-light ones? Did the makers know they needed every single unit for a coordinated attack? But whom were they concerned with?" Brainiac 5 considered.
"Yeah, but why use these creatures instead of long-range weapons of mass destruction?" Garth asked.
"Perhaps, it is because organic beings like the Vindicator Corps can adapt, mutate, and overcome challenges that long-range weapons cannot," Brainiac 5 said.
"So, they're the anti-Vindicators," Garth realized.
That night, Garth hung out with Imra in his office. "I just mindwiped a bunch of fools that Projecta beat the shit out of," Imra reported.
"I thought I told you strictly not to do that anymore," Garth scolded.
"That's right, be strict with me," Imra said flirtatiously. "Let's just forget everything for a while, lover. Take me...own me...make me your Winathian slave. Do something...shocking."
Kara then appeared on the video screen interrupting them. "Rimbor is being attacked. Deal with it," she ordered and signed off.
"Well, you're experienced in fighting these things," Garth said to Imra.
"Fine, I'll go," Imra rolled her eyes. "Give me a team with some muscle this time."
"Fuck I will," Garth said jealously.
"My world is under attack, holy shit!" Jo interrupted wearing only a t-shirt and underwear.
"Ultra Boy is your first volunteer," Garth said dryly.
"Put your pants on, Jo, God damn," Imra scolded.
Gim was woken up in the middle of the night. "This is a priority-alpha emergency, big boy. Wake the fuck up and get your ass to the conference room," Garth ordered gruffly.
"I'm going to step on him and then it will all be over," Gim grumbled and then put on his Vindicator uniform.
In the conference room, a new team was assembled: Saturn Girl, Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, Ultra Boy, Star Boy, Colossal Boy, and Chameleon Boy. "Nice suit, Colossal Boy, no homo," Thom said to him as he entered the room.
"Right, no homo," Gim nodded approvingly. "It just happened to be in the closet."
"Imra, you're looking like a fox," Jo said approvingly.
"Shut the fuck up about my looks or I'll make you feel a million spikes in your head," Imra threatened.
"Fucking telepaths," Jo rolled his eyes.
"Feeling left out of this stimulating conversation, Barney?" Salu teased.
"My uniform will do. You will all be in a very hot battle zone soon. Prepare yourselves accordingly," Brainiac 5 warned. "The Destroyers are attacking Rimbor. Their nature and origin are still unknown. They have already obliterated the planet's defenses. While Ultra Boy has a reputation for being Rimbor's greatest thug, they're requesting his assistance," Brainiac 5 said to them all.
"That's right," Jo smiled.
"Hey, wait a minute. Is your suit a part of yourself?" Thom asked Reep as his suit morphed into various organic materials.
"Yep," Reep confirmed.
"So, you're basically naked," Thom said shocked and appalled.
"Yep," Reep nodded and then showed his naked appearance.
"No, do not want," Thom shielded his eyes as they all boarded a shuttlecraft.
Rimbor
The Vindicators arrived to find Rimbor's main city, Ta-Rshish all sorts of fucked up with explosions and fires everywhere. "Damn," Jo said stunned.
"Why are you anxious to come back? Aren't you wanted for being Green With Evil a few years back?" Gim asked.
"Cuz, my friends are down there, asshole," Jo shot back.
"I'm going to mind-rape you so I can see through your eyes," Imra said and then telepathically entered Jo's mind, activated his falcon vision, and started scanning around. "The planetary defenses are fucked. No point trying to rally them. Our plan will be to smash a hole in their circle gathering so we will be surrounded."
"Holy fuck, I just got violated," Jo realized as Imra withdrew her hold on him.
"How is that a good plan?" Thom asked ignoring Jo's protest.
"They'll all come right at us and then we'll kill them all rather than chasing them down individually," Imra said simply.
"A real Napoleon," Gim mocked.
"What the fuck is a Napoleon?" Salu asked confused.
"Brilliant human general. Wait, I just noticed something. We're all aliens to each other," Gim realized.
"No shit, Sherlock," Jo said rudely.
"Then, why are we referencing human people in our quips?" Gim asked.
"He raises a good point," Thom allowed.
"Cease the bullshit, let's move," Imra ordered.
The Vindicators flew into action and landed in front of the Destroyers' line. These Destroyers had red skin and armor that featured flamethrowers. Imra remained in the back as she overlooked the battle and gave telepathic directions to the others. Jo punched a Destroyer hard blasting it to pieces. Joe then went on to punch the other Destroyers down the line with his super-strength while avoiding their fire.
"You can't take them all alone," Imra reminded him. "Switch from strength to invulnerability before they fry your ass."
"Fuck that," Jo refused and continued to battle. The Destroyers coordinated their fire on him in a powerful fireball.
"Told you so," Imra rolled her eyes. She telekinetically separated the fire, picked up a burnt-up Jo, and flew him back to the line.
"I'm...Dragon...shit...," Joe said incoherently in Imra's arms.
"Chameleon, go," Imra ordered.
Reep transformed into a giant crustacean-looking creature with three heads that dwarfed the Destroyers. This simply made him a bigger target for the Destroyers to fire on. Imra dropped Jo's ass on a concrete slab. He was already healed of his injuries. "Does your macho male ego need me to tell you I need you back in the fight? Is that what you want?" Imra asked condescendingly.
"Yeah," Jo said lamely.
"Move your ass," Imra ordered.
"You're sexy for a mute," Jo said adoringly.
"I'm not a mute, asshole," Imra corrected. "Stay in invulnerable mode, switch to strength or flash vision only when you have a clear shot, and then back to invulnerable fast."
"C'mere, bitch," Jo said deliriously as he pulled Imra to him and kissed her.
Imra took hold of him telekinetically and tossed him toward the Destroyers. They fired on him immediately with constant fire. "Serves him right," Imra said displeased.
Gim became a giant and smashed down on a Destroyer. "My dick is long!" he shouted, his catchphrase.
"Black power, motherfucker," Thom said as he fired on the Destroyers. The Destroyers hit collapsed from their increased weight.
"They're adapting," Salu noticed as she had to continually cycle frequencies on her laser pistols. "They're growing thicker armor."
"They won't grow faster than me," Gim said confidently as he became even bigger.
The Destroyers adapted to Thom and shielded themselves from his beams. "They're blocking me now," Thom told the others as he took cover.
Jo emerged from a firestorm unharmed under invulnerability mode. He then quickly switched to flash step. He sped through several of them breaking their skulls or jaws. The Destroyers then fired on him, but he was now back to invulnerability. "Is that all you got?" Jo taunted.
Imra kept her distance from the battle as the others fought it out. A random Destroyer managed to get past the others and make a move on her. It suddenly became telekinetically crushed and its brain exploded internally.
As the battle continued, Salu shrank out of sight. "Where the fuck did she go?" Thom wondered.
"Forget her, drop some air on them," Imra ordered.
"Air?" Thom questioned. "Oh, I got you." Thom fired on the air, itself, creating air pillars that slammed down upon Destroyers from above. Imra telekinetically sent debris into the air, allowed Thom to zap them, and then let them fall on the Destroyers crushing them.
"Where's Colossal Boy?" Thom wondered.
"He went underground," Imra said as Gim suddenly rose from the ground as a giant and crushed two Destroyers in his hands.
Earth-Vindicator HQ
"What's with the new uniforms?" Garth asked.
"I took the liberty of ordering them," Brainiac 5 said simply.
"I thought I was in charge of shit?" Garth said confused.
"Do you feel like...you're in charge, Garth?" Brainiac 5 asked condescendingly.
"Anything new?" Garth sighed.
"Techno-organic hybrids down to the nano-level but whoever sent them could have done so more efficiently by using large-scale quantum waves or gravitational pulses. Why bit-by-bit?" Brainiac 5 said.
"To sense us out?" Garth figured.
"That assumes they knew of our existence thousands of years prior when the first wave was sent," Brainiac 5 considered.
Rimbor
Reep flew around as a giant purple exotic bird luring the Destroyers away from Jo. He managed to escape them and then grew multiple heads to look around in all directions simultaneously. As Reep got cover behind a car, a Destroyer analyzed a random flower and fired on it but with no damage. Reep eyed the Destroyer and scanned it with his antennas. The Destroyer then noticed him.
"Don't come near me until I'm done scanning you!" Reep shouted at him.
The Destroyer ignored him and charged. Reep became a Destroyer as well and charged forward. "Does this scare you?" Reep challenged. The Destroyer fired lasers from its head tentacles. Reep morphed into a bug and flew over the laser fire. Upon landing, he turned into a rock rhino. Reep then trampled the Destroyer getting his first kill.
Elsewhere, the Vindicators were starting to struggle as the Destroyers adapted to them. "Fuck, they're shielding themselves from my air hammers with their anti-gravity deflectors," Thom said.
"Everything you just said sounded like bullshit," Gim doubted.
"Ultra Boy, get your ass down here," Imra ordered telepathically.
Jo flew around evading the Destroyer fire. He tore through three Destroyers with his fist, acting as a humanoid projectile. Jo went around the city striking all of the Destroyers dead and then regrouped. "Good work," Imra complimented Jo as he arrived.
The Destroyers then disintegrated all around them. "The fuck is that about?" Gim asked confused.
"They do that when they die!" Thom told him.
"Yeah, let's get out of here," Jo said urgently.
"Stop! You're under arrest!" the planetary police stated as they arrived.
"Be gentle with them," Imra said to Thom.
Thom fired on the police ship dropping it to the ground with its new heavier composition. The police officers scattered around collapsed on the ground as they became much heavier as well. Imra focused on the police officers and wiped their minds that they had seen Jo. "Now, we can leave," she ordered Jo.
"Taste the rainbow," Jo said as he teleported them off the planet.
Earth-Metropolis Palace
After the battle of Rimbor, Garth and Jan reported to Kara in her basement control room in the Palace. All sides of the room with giant television monitors. In the middle was a circular table. Inside the circle was a hologram emitter. "What's the deal with these Destroyers?" Kara asked slightly concerned.
"We've had some difficulty ascertaining their biology or purpose. They keep self-destructing once they die," Garth reported.
"Just have Chameleon Boy transform into one of them and then do a biopsy on him," Kara said simply.
"Yes, well, we lost him on Rimbor," Jan said flatly.
Kara gave them an odd look. "Go find his weird ass now," she ordered.
A few hours later, Reep reported to Brainiac 5's lab. "You wanted to see me?" he asked anxiously.
"Yes, come in. I understand you replicated a Destroyer and the device he was holding," Brainiac 5 said interested.
"Yes, on Rimbor," Reep confirmed.
"Duplicate the device," Brainiac 5 ordered.
Reep morphed his hand to appear like the device, a pistol-dagger-looking weapon. Brainiac 5 quickly slashed Reep's hand off and examined the limb. "The fuck?" Reep screeched in pain.
Brainiac 5 ignored Reep and analyzed the sample.
Imra walked into Garth's office at Vindicator HQ. "Garth, I know you must hate me now," Imra said ashamedly.
"For what?" Garth asked confused.
"Didn't Jo tell you already?" Imra asked surprised.
"Tell me what?" Garth questioned.
"Never mind," Imra said quickly.
"No, what were you going to say?" Garth insisted.
"It's not important," Imra downplayed.
"You, fucked him, right? Is that what you were about to say?" Garth asked pissed off.
"What? No...," Imra said half-heartedly.
"I'm going to murder that son-of-a-bitch," Garth said resolved.
"Am I interrupting something?" Brainiac 5 asked as he entered.
"We were just finished," Garth said angrily as Imra left the room.
"Good, we blunted the first Destroyer wave of attacks but all we won was a brief reprieve. They'll attack again soon. You may be in the fight of your lives," Brainiac 5 said grimly.
"Your lives? Not our lives, because you're a robot with infinite drones?" Garth rolled his eyes.
"Of course," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"Yeah, maybe, Supergirl could lend a hand instead of playing with her baby," Garth said bitterly.
"I'm going to continue analyzing Reep's sliced-off limbs and maybe I'll find something useful," Brainiac 5 said and walked off.
"The fuck did I just hear?" Garth wondered.
Jo then entered the room. "Garth, there is something I need to tell you."
"I already know," Garth said peeved.
"Know what?" Jo frowned.
"Did you or did you not fuck my girlfriend?" Garth accused.
"Where do you get off asking me a sick question like that?" Jo asked offended.
"I'll ask again, did you or did you not?" Garth pressed.
"It's a sick question, you're a sick fuck, and I'm not going to answer," Jo refused. "I'm going to leave."
"Yeah, you do that," Garth allowed.
In his lab, Brainiac 5 and Nura studied the Destroyer's pistol-dagger weapon. "Looks like a weapon but it's actually an analysis tool, a data-ripper. But why would a Destroyer have one of these?" Brainiac 5 questioned.
"This snow globe...actually snows," Nura said enthralled with the globe.
"It's a miniature weather device. Relatively easy to figure out compared to this techno-organics," Brainiac 5 explained.
"You got such an amazing brain," Nura complimented flirtatiously.
"Unfortunately, this data ripper is merely a mimicked version. Reep can't actually duplicate the technology," Brainiac 5 said disappointedly.
"Oh, no," Nura said wide-eyed.
"But I can use his non-functional copy as a template to create my own data ripper like the original," Brainiac 5 said confidently.
"Unbelievable," Nura said adoringly. "I'm getting a glimpse of something."
"Is it about the Destroyers?" Brainiac 5 asked interested.
"No, you're going back to the past, the ancient past, again," Nura revealed.
"It's on the schedule. Tell me something I don't know," Brainiac 5 said unimpressed.
"I've got another one. I see us making love, real physical, so intense," Nura said expectedly.
"Uh-huh," Brainiac 5 said unconcernedly.
"Surely you can spare a drone for me," Nura said hungrily.
"I...suppose," Brainiac 5 said without enthusiasm. "I'm done," he said as he created the template device. "It's fully functional." The device suddenly sprouted a Destroyer in rapid time. "It's regenerating a body."
The Destroyer tried to stab at Brainiac 5 only to get blocked by his forcefield. Nura opened a portal to the dreamworld and sucked the Destroyer inside. "Won't that haunt the dreams of countless people?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"I don't care," Nura said honestly.
In the training gym, all the Vindicators met to consider the new recruits. "Candidates, enter and present yourselves," Garth ordered as everyone was assembled. Four would-be superheroes entered the room.
Turtle: Male humanoid, blue-skinned, black eyes, lean physique, turtle shell on his back.
Sizzle: Female humanoid, red-skinned, white eyes, slender physique, revealing sexy blue outfit.
Nightgirl: Female humanoid, Asian-looking, lean physique, classy black outfit.
Gazelle: Female humanoid, spiky red hair and pale complexion, slanted eyes, lean physique, red armored outfit.
"Gazelle, isn't that the broad you wanted to fuck on Triton?" Thom asked Lyle.
"I don't think she saw me," Lyle said dryly.
"The fuck is wrong with you?" Thom asked as Lyle went invisible out of embarrassment.
"I'm not ready for her to see me," Lyle said and then disappeared from the meeting.
"What's your problem? You, queer or something?" Thom asked an empty chair. "He's already gone, isn't he?"
"Let's get this started," Garth said, getting back to business. "Let's go with alphabetical order. Gazelle, what's your deal?"
"I can slow down my metabolism and hibernate," Gazelle said.
There was a long awkward silence in the room. "Is there anything else?" Garth asked patiently.
"When I heat up my metabolism, I'm really fast and strong," she added.
"What about endurance?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"I can run six marathons in ten minutes and still have enough glycol to kick Timber Wolf's ass," Gazelle boasted.
"Try me, bitch," Brin challenged.
"Nightgirl, what's your deal?" Garth asked.
"In darkness, I'm super-strong. Stronger than Ultra Boy," she said confidently.
"Prove it. Kick his ass," Garth ordered.
"You ready for some mudwrestling?" Jo mocked.
"Just wrestling," Nightgirl replied.
With the lights off, Nightgirl went to full strength and slammed Jo into the floor busting it up. Jo took hold of her and slammed her against the wall. "Okay, lights on before you both level HQ," Garth said finally.
"Wow, hard to follow that act. I feel so flat," Sizzler said as she placed her hands on her A-cup breasts. "I absorb energy and change it from one form to another, sound to light, gamma rays to electricity, radio waves to...,"
"Yeah, got it. Dirk, show her a good time," Garth ordered.
"How much can you take?" Dirk asked her.
"All you got, sunshine?" Sizzler said flirtatiously.
Dirk increased his brightness with Sizzler absorbing it all until Dirk stopped. "Wow, I've never absorbed this much energy before. I'm going to turn it into electricity," Sizzler decided. She then zapped Turtle full force. He took the charge like a champ with some minor damage.
"We shall deliberate your fates," Garth said to them all.
In a conference room, everyone took their seats at a round table. "Where is Projecta?" Garth asked annoyed.
"Dealing with her credit issues," Tinya said helpfully.
"Well, that means we have only fourteen Vindicators here so if we tie, it's a negative," Garth ruled.
"Sure, you're in charge, honey," Imra said condescendingly.
"Now, we're pretty much going to accept them all so the only issue is where to place them," Garth said.
Garth came back after their chat. "We have decided to accept you all. Why wouldn't we? We have unlimited resources, and we'll kill your ass if you turn traitor. Gazelle, you're in the B-team. Turtle, you're exceptionally durable but you have no offensive abilities so you're going to the C-team. Sizzler, your energy conversion technique is useful as fuck but without a nearby energy source your shit out of luck, so you're also C-team. Nightgirl, similarly, with a light source, you lose your strength which means you have to be team-up at all times. You're also C-team," Garth announced.
"The B-team and C-team are Vindicator reserves. You'll undergo Vindicator training, and be issued rings, and custom uniforms," Brainiac 5 explained.
"You'll be on standby status until we need you on active duty," Imra told them.
"What do you say?" Garth asked.
The four affirmed their commitment to the Vindicators with enthusiasm. "You shall be renamed Turtle Boy, Sizzler Lass, and Gazelle Girl," Garth told three of them.
"Gazelle...girl, we're quite aware of your criminal record and hatred for the Galactic Federation. Why the change of heart?" Imra asked.
"Free healthcare," Gazelle Girl said honestly.
"Good deal, newbies, Light Lass will give you a tour of the place. This council is adjourned," Garth said quickly.
Garth entered Brainiac 5's lab. "Alright, I admit it. I'm stupid as fuck about these things. Give it to me again," Garth insisted.
"Pay attention, this is a data ripper. The Destroyers are all equipped with this. They capture perfect digital emulations of whatever they're fired at that's an exact copy but in virtual space. The data ripper has to be at close range to the object to capture it. Of course, I can overcome that with my own modification. Thankfully, they haven't figured it out yet," Brainiac 5 said.
"Why is it a big deal that they're scanning things?" Garth asked confused.
"It allows them to copy us onto virtual space. The data rippers compel the energy life force of the organism to follow the emulation leaving a dead empty shell," Brainiac 5 warned.
"What's their deal? Are they trying to make a zoo?" Garth asked.
"More or less, which means the enemy doesn't live in the physical universe. The real aliens live in virtual space and these Destroyers are avatars used by them to invade real space," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"So, we find their computer and we fry it," Garth said simply.
"That might have been possible a few million years ago when their technology was primitive. It would seem they have been able to turn the entire universe into their computer, and it's all linked together with a Tachyonic field. Their tactics have changed with their technology. They manifest a planetary base of operations in real space and send the Destroyers to exterminate everyone in the galaxy," Brainiac 5 said.
"So, we go into virtual space, and we kick their ass," Garth figured.
"In virtual space, you would have no powers. It would be suicide," Brainiac 5 said dismissively. "And if we destroy their avatars, they'll simply create more."
"So, what do we do?" Garth asked confused.
"I do not know. I'll get back to you when I do," Brainiac 5 admitted.
In the cafeteria inside the Vindicator HQ, Imra and Tinya were talking mad shit about the other Vindicators. "This is the comic Projecta has been reading. It's a Supergirl comic about her planet, Krypton, being destroyed," Tinya brought up.
"She must have anxiety that her own world is in danger, but, of course, that would never happen because we're competent superheroes," Imra said dismissively.
"Yes, but she's also engaging in queer behavior, sneaking out, getting into fights with random people. Why don't you look inside her mind and find out what her deal is?" Tinya asked.
"I have been asked by Garth not to do it. I mean...I do it anyway, but sometimes a person can sense it when I'm fingering around in their head," Imra said.
"Then, what are you going to do about it?" Tinya asked.
"How about minding your own fucking business!" Brin shouted at them while destroying a robot waiter in a fit of rage.
"I suppose you overheard us in the hall with those big ears of yours. Did it ever occur to you that we knew you were right outside and, therefore, were talking shit to provoke you?" Imra chided.
"Yeah, bullshit. You're stalking Projecta," Brin doubted.
"Why do you give a shit, Brin?" Tinya asked confused.
"Keep spying and yapping about her, and I'll rip out your throat before you go ghostly," Brin said as his hand went through her throat.
Brin suddenly seized up as Imra put him in a telekinetic hold and then dropped to the floor as she put him to sleep. "Waiter-bot, bring us the same order and report this incident as an accident," she ordered.
"Don't you think we should report this to Garth?" Tinya asked.
"And get him kicked out? We may need a psychotic berserker like him to fight the Destroyers. Besides, everyone in the Vindicator Corps is positively insane," Imra rolled her eyes.
"So...what happened between you and Garth?" Tinya asked curiously.
"He's mad because I fucked Ultra Boy. He'll get over it," Imra shrugged.
In his office, Garth was sulking. "I will never forgive that bitch."
"I'm sorry?" Lyle asked confused.
"Destroyers! They're being controlled by virtual beings who occupy an energy field that pervades the entire universe," Garth told him.
"Like ghosts?" Lyle asked.
"From their point of view, their virtual world probably feels very real to them...like the Matrix," Garth assumed.
"What of the intruder planet?" Lyle asked.
"Barney believes it was constructed by the virtual beings, a beachhead in real space to launch attacks from. So, we're just sitting here waiting to be attacked and even if we win, we're just killing a bunch of lifeless puppets," Garth said peeved.
"Is there nothing we can do against the virtual beings?" Lyle asked.
"I don't know. If we attack them in the virtual world, we risk destroying the universe or some shit. Barney is working on it," Garth sighed.
In the lab, Brainiac 5 did a demonstration of the data ripper device that looked like a large rifle. "Behold, I now have a perfect digital emulation of this Big Mac. Now, it exists in virtual form on my computer," Brainiac 5 said as he fired on the Big Mac with the data ripper.
"Nice. I'm going to go eat it now," Sizzler said as she took the Bic Mac and ate it.
"You're dumb as fuck. That sandwich just got irradiated," Salu scolded.
"I can convert radiation to metabolic energy, remember?" Sizzler shot back and ate the entire sandwich.
"Like a Kryptonian?" Salu asked Brainiac 5.
"Yes and no. Sizzler can convert all types of energy sources along the spectrum whereas a Kryptonian only converts solar energy. Sizzler is also more efficient. However, her cells cannot contain the same level of reserves as a Kryptonian like Supergirl," Brainiac 5 explained.
"Why are the Destroyers using these data rippers?" Gim asked.
"They're likely taking samples for their virtual collection before they destroy everything in the real universe," Brainiac 5 assumed.
"So, what's the secret mission?" Dirk asked.
"We're going to the intruder planet to gather intelligence," Brainiac 5 informed them.
Once everyone was ready, Brainiac 5, Dirk, Gim, and Sizzler left for the intruder planet leaving Salu behind. "You're taking Colossal Boy but not me on an espionage mission. How does that make any sense?" Salu asked resentfully.
"The team I have assembled is expendable. You are not," Brainiac 5 said simply. "I need you to monitor communications and ensure I am able to transmit the data. The data is the most important thing."
The Vindicators arrived at the intruder planet by shuttle and used a forcefield suit to fly through space. "Why not land on the planet?" Gim asked.
"The intruder planet is protected by an intense quantum disrupter field. Not only does it annihilate matter but also scrambles transmatter signals," Brainiac 5 informed them.
"How do we get through?" Dirk asked.
"Sizzler, reach out and attempt to absorb the energy of the field," Brainiac 5 ordered.
"I don't know, that sounds suicidal," Sizzler said reluctantly.
"Do you want to be a Vindicator or not?" Brainiac 5 manipulated.
Sizzler approached the field and attempted to absorb as much energy as she could. In doing so, a hole in the shield appeared. "Let's move," Brainiac 5 said to the others.
"Barney, I feel I'm going to be sick. That energy fucked me up," Sizzler complained.
"Hold onto it for later," Brainiac 5 said unsympathetically.
"It's cloaked to make it look like a gas giant but, in reality, it's a giant metal sphere," Dirk said amazed as they went through the atmosphere and reached the surface.
"As I expected, Sunboy, get us in," Brainiac 5 ordered.
Dirk fired an intense beam of plasma into the metal surface creating a hole for them to fit through. "It's pretty tight in there," Gim noticed.
"This planet is one big Destroyer factory, entirely automated, no need for space for workers but there are conduits for on-loading raw materials and off-loading the end product. Follow me," Brainiac 5 ordered.
Inside, the Vindicators saw millions of Destroyers being built on an assembly line. "There must be millions of them," Gim said stunned.
"Colossal Boy, capture emulations," Brainiac 5 directed.
With the large gun, Gim fired on various pieces of equipment for Brainiac 5 to analyze later. Once he was done, Brainiac 5 turned to Sizzler. "You may now use your excess energy."
"Oh, thank you," Sizzler said gratefully and then fired all over the factory causing massive explosions. Sizzler kept firing until she eventually ran out of energy.
"Holy shit," Dirk said amazed.
"The damage is insignificant, but it will be a gesture. It's time to leave, a half-million Destroyers are converging on us," Brainiac 5 said to them.
In space, Gim had a brilliant idea. "Can I get an emulation of the entire planet?" he asked.
"We'll see. Do it," Brainiac 5 encouraged.
Gim fired on the planet and collected the information he needed. "We're approaching the disrupter field," Sizzler warned.
"They have likely adapted. Everyone, stay close as I use my own forcefield," Brainiac 5 said to them. Brainiac 5 opened a hole with his own forcefield allowing everyone to get through. The mission had been a success.
Afterward, on Vindicator HQ on Earth, Garth chewed Brainiac 5 out. "You went there without my authorization!" he accused.
"I deliberately did so," Brainiac 5 confirmed. "I'll remind you that I merely humor your command. I still outrank you and only follow my own whims."
"So, did you data-rip the entire planet?" Garth asked curiously.
"No, not even my storage memory banks could hold that amount of data," Brainiac 5 said concealing what he was able to gather.
"I have a meeting with Kara. I'll deal with your insubordination later," Garth said and took off.
At the Palace, Garth had a chat with Kara on the intruder planet. "Barney sent some expendable Vindicators to the intruder planet to get data against your orders and mine," Garth reported.
"I'm aware. Barney informed me ahead of time," Kara said nonchalantly.
"Am I still in charge because it doesn't seem like it," Garth said concernedly.
"The thing about Vindicators is that no one is really 'in charge' really. We all do whatever the fuck we feel like with schemes, plots, and undermining," Kara said.
"Sounds like chaos," Garth frowned.
"Chaos, my friend, can be a ladder. You come from a military background where people always follow orders out of loyalty, duty, respect, and honor. That's not really how the Vindicator Corps functions, unfortunately," Kara said.
"Can't you do anything about it?" Garth asked.
"I could...but somehow the chaos is actually more efficient and gives me plausible deniability when someone fucks up," Kara said. "So, what is your assessment of the situation?"
"I think we're in for an all-out war. The recon team did insignificant damage to the intruder planet. We're on full alert," Garth said. "So much...really doesn't depend on me since no one actually fucking follows anything I say."
"I had to deal with the same sort of shit at the DEO, then the Super-Friends, and now the Vindicators. Just roll with it," Kara advised.
"So...just stop giving a shit?" Garth asked.
"Yeah," Kara nodded.
A frustrated Garth pulled Imra aside in the hallway. "Imra, Ultra Boy is insisting he didn't fuck you to everyone who will listen. He won't shut up about it. So...did anything happen?"
"Does it really matter? We're on the verge of war," Imra said dismissively.
"This is important. What did you two do?" Garth demanded.
"I pulled him into my mind and performed depraved sex acts on him," Imra admitted. "And he liked it."
"Yeah, but was it physical?" Garth asked.
"No," Imra said finally.
"Thank God," Garth said relieved.
"So...what, it's okay to cheat so long as it's not physical?" Imra asked unimpressed.
"I didn't say that," Garth said defensively.
"Unbelievable," Imra scoffed at him.
"Wait...what the fuck? You're the one that cheated on me and now you're gaslighting me?" Garth asked dismayed.
"Get used to it. You're with a telepath," Imra said dismissively.
"Billions of Destroyers have deployed all across the galactic quadrant. Fix it," Kara ordered via a hologram and signed off.
"Fuck me," Garth muttered.
The Vindicators were assembled for a briefing by Garth and Brainiac 5. "We have now confirmed the arrival of billions of Destroyers on hundreds of the worlds within the Galactic Federation," Brainiac 5 said.
"This is it. The moment we have all been waiting for. It's up to us to save the fucking universe," Garth declared.
"Dude, there's like only seven of us. How are we supposed to protect the galaxy from billions of destroyers?" Jo asked. The others were Imra, Thom, Salu, and Gazelle.
"The real enemy is in the virtual universe. The computer in which they exist is the entire universe. Or rather, one virtual planet has access to every point of the real universe instantly. Logic dictates that the only way to attack the enemy is on their own virtual turf. It could reverse the enemy's own tactics and create digital avatars to invade their world. However, to do so will require a great deal of processing power. I had attempted to emulate their entire planet but there's no way to replicate it at this time. Therefore, we must use their own planet against them," Brainiac 5 explained.
"I don't know about this, Barney," Jo said skeptically.
"Precisely, Ultra Boy, you don't know so leave the planning to me," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly.
The Vindicators arrived on the intruder planet as before and readied themselves for the fight of their lives. Brainiac 5 connected himself to the planet's computer mainframe and plugged him into the virtual world. There, he found himself on an orange-reddish planet. The grass vegetation and trees were shades of red, orange, and yellow. There were two suns in the sky. In the distance were mushroom-shaped cities. Brainiac 5 made his way to the digital city.
The digital aliens that had caused all this trouble were humanoid, slender, long-necked, and pinkish in color. They had solid blue eyes and long silverish hair. They soon realized there was a viral intruder in their realm and started freaking out. Brainiac 5 began stabbing inhabitants of the city with his knife hand, copying their essence, and then replacing them with his clone. He was multiplying quickly.
On the intruder planet's surface, the Destroyers converged on the Vindicators to stop Brainiac 5's connection. Garth and Thom had to focus their attacks narrowly to avoid interrupting Brainiac 5's connection to the mainframe. They remained on the outer perimeter as long-range fighters. The Destroyers that managed to get through them were taken down by Imra and Jo. Then, those that got even closer were dealt with by Gazelle and Salu as short-range fighters. Bodies of Destroyers piled up all around them as they protected Brainiac 5.
Eventually, the Destroyers backed off for a moment giving the Vindicators a reprieve. "Looks like they've stopped throwing troops at us," Garth noted.
"You think they're resupplying or something?" Thom asked hopefully.
"I think they're pulling back to nuke us," Salu said darkly.
"Just had to jinx us," Thom muttered.
"I can shrink down to the sub-atomic level and be safe. It's the rest of you who are fucked," Salu smirked.
Instead, the intruder planet started sending air units against, one hundred thousand units. Garth took to the air and engaged them with unrelenting lightning strikes. As they fired on him, he moved about at the speed of light within the lightning strikes tearing through them. Still, it wasn't enough, and he was exhausting himself. "Too many, fall back!"
Imra telekinetically threw up a shield of dead bodies and wreckage. "I'm going to gravitationally compress this, but I don't know how long it will hold," Thom said as he fired on the wall. The wall became more condensed and rock solid.
The Destroyer ships merely went around and above the wall. "Well...shit," Imra sighed. As they were fired upon, Imra put up her telekinetic shield to block the rain of fire.
In the digital world, Brainiac 5 had control of the city and had reached the tower where the leaders were present. "What is the meaning of this? Why have we lost control of the infinity net?" the female leader demanded of Brainiac 5.
A squad of Brainiac 5 drones entered the tower and took control of everyone in the tower except for the leader. "When I came to this realm, I was expecting a whole other universe with countless galaxies all colonized by you. I imagine it would take nearly an eternity to conquer your realm. Instead, all I find is one virtual planet by a primitive species using the real world as entertainment. That is what this invasion is all about? You're having fun, in the same way, people in my universe slaughter scores of virtual beings and commit mass genocide in their computer games?"
"What's the difference between your kind and ours? How can you fault us when we see your realm as no different than how you see the virtual realm?" the alien leader asked.
"Perhaps there is no difference in intent. The desire to kill, even virtual beings, poisons the soul. But do you even have souls?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Whether we had souls or not, you wouldn't hesitate to exterminate us," the alien leader surmised.
"I preserve life so that I may study its development. Unfortunately, I can't classify you as life. Your species died and went extinct. They uploaded their consciousness onto this mainframe in this virtual world, but you are neither life nor spirit," Brainiac 5 ruled.
"How can you be so certain?" the alien leader asked as Brainiac 5 advanced on her.
"It doesn't matter if I'm wrong," Brainiac 5 shrugged and then knife-handed the alien leader until she became a copy of himself. The virtual planet was now fully under his control.
In the real world, the intruder planet's defenses finally relented and dropped. The Vindicators looked beat to shit. Brainiac 5 disconnected from the mainframe. "I have triggered the planet's self-destruction. We must leave now," he informed them.
Soon thereafter, the intruder planet exploded killing all of the Destroyers that were still present. The Destroyers across the galaxy were eventually dealt with via Brainiac drone armies and Vindicator strike teams. The royal family and the Insane did their part as well. Eventually, the galaxy was cleared of all the Destroyers.
"I'm not sure what just happened, but I'll take the credit for it," Garth said dryly at Vindicator HQ.
"The Galactic Federation is safe though there will be casualties and damage that will need to be repaired," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"So, they're all gone. All of them?" Salu asked.
"Their essence is recorded in my network. If I wanted to, I could create a virtual realm of them on Earth's Internet servers," Brainiac 5 said.
"Would it still be them?" Salu asked skeptically.
"I'd like to think their virtual selves had nothing in common with their real selves but who can really say," Brainiac 5 said and then curiously scanned all of the game avatars of every citizen in the Galactic Federation. He could see all the death and destruction users caused in their games with no remorse or hesitation. All at once, he could see every violent act in these games. Nothing was hidden from him.
Author's Notes: I've finally finished the A-plot to the Legion of Superheroes 2005 comic. The art is really good, but the plotlines are a bit mixed. I didn't care for Imra being mute, the race-swapping on Thom, Brainiac 5 being an arrogant asshole against premonitions, the constant hostility of the government, and simplicity of the ending at the final issue. Still, it gave me a lot of material to work with.