Logan's POV
He stared at the letter, reading it over and over again, thinking maybe, just maybe, if he read it again, it'd say something different. He knew that was insane but he was feeling pretty insane right now.
I'm sorry, I tried, I really did, but you're not him.
Pretty short letter announcing you've left someone after you've been with them for four years, he thought, especially today of all days. Shit, someone was going to come looking for him soon, it was supposed to be his special day, after all. What was he going to tell them? Fuck, he couldn't really think straight, did Rory really just break up with him? In a letter? You're not him. It kept flashing in his head in bright red letters. He could hear the words in her voice as if she was standing right in front of him, you're not him, over and over again.
What the fuck was he supposed to do now? He couldn't go out and face them after this. You're not him. God, he needed a drink, thankfully, there was a bottle of champagne chilling on the table, this was supposed to be a celebration, after all. You're not him. He shook his head, trying to get those words out of it to no avail. Part of him felt like he should have seen this coming but he was the type of person that things like this didn't happen to, he was pretty lucky, all things considered, so this happening was never even a consideration for him. You're not him.
She probably thought she was being vague, that he'd have no idea where she ran off to, or more accurately, who she ran off to but that was only because she didn't remember that faithful day so long ago, before they were even together. Yeah, that memory in her grandparent's poolhouse, before it was changed into her poolhouse, was all he needed to remember to know exactly where she went.
Four and a half years ago
It was long after her high school boyfriend dumped her in the middle of her party. He and his friends took her back to the poolhouse and got her drunk. She was a funny drunk, not being able to handle her alcohol all that well, he could tell that she wasn't one to partake too often. There was something about this girl that drew him in, he knew even back then he needed to be weary of her, simply for how much he wanted her. The rest of his friends were standing outside the poolhouse smoking a joint, normally, he'd be one to join in, but again, something drew him to Rory and he had no urge to fight it tonight.
Well, Rory was a fun drunk, at least until she started to think about her ex. "I mean what is his problem? I can't believe he did that, at my party of all places!"
"Yeah, that was a real asshole move, though, to be fair, you did have him waiting outside for almost a half hour while you were distracted having a good time in the poolhouse while getting shitfaced with five guys."
She turned her head to him and blew a raspberry, which he couldn't help to find cute, especially with her cheeks flushed from the champagne. She stood up and started pacing, she looked like she was building up a head of steam, she opened her mouth but before words came out her shoulders slumped. "You're right."
Rory went to take another sip of her drink but she realized it was empty, so without a care, she walked over to him, took his glass out of his hand, and drank it all. "Calm down there, Ace, we still have two full bottles, no need to steal mine."
"Sorry," She said, not sounding like she meant it at all.
"And I am right. It's clear you two just weren't meant to be. You're in college now, Yale, you should be out having fun, not tied down in a relationship."
She sat back down, put her elbows on her knees, and rested her head face down in her hands clearly upset. "You're not the first person to tell me that."
"Maybe you should think about taking our advice." He was into Rory, and wanted her, and hearing her go on and on about her ex was starting to bum him out.
"But I love him."
"You love Don, Dan, Derek, or whatever his name is? I'm pretty sure it starts with a D."
"Dean. And no, not him."
"Oh, so there's another man that's stolen Rory Gilmore's heart." He said, trying not to get any more bummed out. He must have spoken louder than he thought because Fin and Collin came bustling back into the room.
"Oh, how titillating, being with someone and being in love with someone else, that's almost cheating. I didn't think you had it in you!" Fin spoke first, giving her a congratulatory pat on the back.
She pulled her head out of her hands just long enough to answer before flopping it back down, "It's not cheating, I haven't spoken to him since before me and Dean got back together."
"Who is this mystery man?" Collin asked, finally paying attention to the conversation again after the high evened out.
Her head was still covered by her hands, they could barely hear the muffled, "The reason me and Dean broke up the first time, Jess."
"Woah, woah, woah, are you telling me you experimented with lesbianism?" Fin asked, sounding truly interested for the first time in this conversation, Logan couldn't help but second the question, leaning forward.
Rory shot up, and he was sure her blush was no longer just because of the alcohol, though her words were slurred when she replied. "What? No! He's a guy!"
"Jess is a girl's name," Colin said, obviously not thinking much of the man. Again, Logan silently concurred.
"Don't tell him that, he hates his name."
"What's so special about this Jess that's stopped you from moving on?" Logan couldn't help but ask, sometimes too nosey for his own good.
He was sure Rory wouldn't be so open if it weren't for the drinks, "Well, he loves to read, probably more than I do, loves the same music as me. We could sit in the same room together not saying a word or we could talk the whole time and either way have the best time. He's cute though you can't tell him that or he'll get all grumpy. He works really hard at keeping a distance from people, he's been hurt a lot. Everyone thinks he's trouble and a bad boy but that's cause they don't know him. Okay, so there was that time he crashed my car, and the murder investigation but the first one was an accident and the second one was a joke!" She paused to make eye contact with everyone making sure they understood her and believed her. Logan wanted more details about the murder investigation but when no one disagreed with her she continued, "And he's really broody when we're out places and around people but when it's just us he's more sweet, funny, nice, and sentimental than anyone else I've ever met. And most importantly no one's ever loved me like he has."
She leaned back when she finished, her unintentional speech seemingly taking a lot out of her. Logan didn't object when he felt her head slowly lean against his shoulder, he liked it, actually."
"Well if he's so great, why aren't you with him? Where's this seemingly perfect man?" Fin asked.
"Yeah, and is he single?" Colin joked.
"He's gone," Rory said, now sounding to be slowly falling asleep.
"Well then, it's time to move on, you can't spend your life pining over someone who isn't here," Logan suggested.
"No, it's okay, because he'll be back. He always comes back." Mostly asleep now, leaning heavily on his shoulder and turning her body towards him to snuggle in. "He was here a few months ago, I wish I said yes when he asked me to run away with him."
All the men's eyebrows simultaneously rose when they heard her last words. Again, Logan wanted more information but decided to save that for another time. He leaned in close and lightly kissed her forehead, "Get some rest, Ace, we'll get you home safely."
Current day
Logan remembered when Jess showed up a few months later after he and Rory were already dating, remembering that conversation was one of the reasons why he was such an ass to him. He was beyond jealous of the guy, though he seemingly had no reason to be, he was the one with Rory, and Jess was just the ex that sometimes popped back up. But he was jealous because Rory had never talked about Logan the way she talked about Jess that night, and all Jess had to do was yell at her for two minutes and he somehow convinced her to do what she had to to get her life in order and be happy again. Months and Logan couldn't manage that. Thankfully, when Jess left that night Logan didn't see him again for a long time, though he knew he and Rory would occasionally run into each other, sometimes in their hometown, and sometimes when Rory ended up in Philadelphia for work.
He sighed and turned his head away from the note, he considered calling her but what would be the point? She clearly made her decision, you're not him. He stood up straight and looked himself in the mirror one time before going outside, he had to see if Lorelai was still there or if she was a part of the getaway. This was supposed to be a great day, he was supposed to laugh and drink with friends, family, and the woman he loved, it was supposed to be a celebration but instead, he was in for hours of talking, explaining the situation, and hopefully getting so drunk he'd forget this ever happened.
Jess' POV
When Jess woke up he felt like he had gotten hit by a fucking Mac truck at some point throughout the night. He rolled over in bed ready to sleep the day away when he was stopped by a body in his bed. He cracked his eyes open enough to see a beautiful woman lying naked next to him. What was her name again? He remembered picking her up at the bar last night, he remembered bringing her back to his house, and he remembered bits and pieces of the sex, but that was about it. He couldn't tell you a damn thing about this woman. Fuck, he promised himself he was going to stop doing this.
He decided against more sleep, he wouldn't feel comfortable now that he knew he wasn't alone. He didn't know her from Jane, for all he knew she'd wake up and steal anything of value before murdering him in his sleep. No, he had to get up. Plus, he could use an Asprin or ten. He went into the bathroom and emptied his bladder before digging through his medicine cabinet and finding the pain reliever, once he did he popped the pills, turned on the faucet, and bent down to get a mouthful of water. Mhmm, he needed more of that, he was definitely dehydrated.
He went back to his room and shook the woman awake before offering her breakfast, as was his habit in these situations. She tried getting him to come back into bed with her but he wasn't one to partake the next morning after a one-night stand, after she pouted she agreed to some breakfast. While she was getting dressed he pulled the sheets off of the bed and replaced them with new ones, all the while ignoring her offended look, he planned to come right back up here after breakfast and pass out for the rest of the day, he didn't need a reminder of her when he woke back up. When they were both ready he led her out of the room, it wasn't until he was halfway down the stairs that he remembered what day it was, the realization froze him for a second, long enough for her to bump into him and almost have them both tumbling down the stairs. He tripped a step or two before righting himself, if he wasn't so hungover he wouldn't have tripped at all. He supposed it was a good thing, not immediately remembering the day, trying to forget it was the reason he went to the bar last night, after all.
They made it to the kitchen relatively unharmed and Jess went to the fridge to get the eggs and bacon, when he closed the door he saw a 'Save the date' on the front of it that he wasn't sure why he kept, just to torture himself maybe, he knew he had no intention of going. Or maybe he kept it as a reminder of another promise he made himself, the day he got it in the mail he promised himself that he'd start dating, and try to find someone to spend his life with. No more one-night stands, no more meaningless fucking just to pass the time while waiting for something that would never happen.
He sighed and turned away from the fridge, still leaving the God damn card where it was, one day he'd be strong enough to take it down. He was lost in his thoughts as he was cooking but was shocked out of them when what's her name spoke, "You were much more talkative last night."
"Was I?"
"Mhmm, and funny too. You seem like a completely different Jess than you were last night."
"Sorry." He said, not offering any more information. Normally he was at least nicer to his overnight guests but he was really not feeling it today, he blamed it on the hangover. He also normally wasn't one to drink that much, he had memories of his mom in his younger days to warn him off of that.
"What's wrong? You can talk to me." She said and he felt bad because she was being so nice. Fuck, when did he turn into this person?
"Just a rough day today."
She laughed, "You just woke up, silly. How bad can it be yet?" A little quieter she said, "Or is it waking up next to me that's made it a rough day?"
He looked at her surprised, she was gorgeous, he couldn't believe she was that self-conscious about herself. He reached over the kitchen island and rested his hand over hers for a moment, "No, it's not you, it's the date."
"Oh, I'm sorry, was there a death in the family on this day?"
"Something like that."
"Well, it's Saturday, and I don't have any real plans until tonight, so if you want I can stay and help keep your mind off of it." He took the eggs off the stovetop and split them between the two before sitting down, handing her plate over, and starting his meal.
He considered it for a moment, thinking it wouldn't be a terrible plan, having company was why he went to the bar last night, after all. But he eventually decided against it, deciding he'd rather stay in by himself and brood as Rory used to call it. He flinched but quickly moved past the thought, "Thanks but I think I'm probably going to take it easy, most likely go sleep the day away after you leave."
"Oh, okay, I get it." She looked around and made an ah-ha sound when she found what she was looking for, his phone, he must have dropped it on the island somehow as they were making their way upstairs the night before. He thought it was a little fucking rude that she opened his phone and used it without permission but didn't complain. A moment later she handed it to him with a smile on her face, he looked down at the screen, 'Tara, that's right, her name is Tara!' He thought after seeing her put her number in his phone. He took the eggs off the
"I hope you use it, because I like you, Jess." He nodded his head and thought he actually might, she seemed like a nice girl, and from what he could remember from the night before, she was really into reading, and a lot of the same material he was into. It wasn't a terrible basis when starting to date someone.
He opened his mouth to answer her when there was a knock on the door, a quite frantic one. He looked at her confused for a moment, hoping there was no jealous boyfriend he'd have to fight, he hadn't been in a fight since his mother's wedding weekend, and that was years ago. When she looked just as confused as him he took the bite that was already on his fork and dropped the fork on his plate before making his way to the door.
He never looked through the peephole before opening a door, though it was probably a good habit to have, and this time was no different. He was prepared to yell at whoever it was for banging on his door so early.
"Jesus Christ, I'm coming, who is…" His words stopped in their tracks when he saw who was on the other side. Rory, Rory Gilmore was standing there looking at him almost terrified. He wasn't sure how she knew where he lived, she'd never been here before, the few times they met up while she was in town they'd just meet at a restaurant or bar. Her knowing where he lived wasn't the strangest part of the situation, no, not at all. The strangest parts were that she was wearing a white flowing gown that reminded him of fairy tales, and it was supposed to be her wedding day. "Rory?"
"Why are you here?!" She demanded.
"I live here?" He more asked than answered.
"No dummy, why are you here now? You're supposed to be in Harford, watching me get married. That states away if you haven't noticed."
"Yes, I know basic geography, thanks. I might not have graduated along with the rest of my senior class but I managed to understand that much." He fell right back into his sarcastic asshole self, it was his automatic setting when he felt confused or attacked, he was feeling both in equal measures right now.
"Well then why aren't you there?" She asked, voice quieter now, sadder.
"Rory," He hoped he didn't sound as pained as he felt. He cleared his throat and tried to sound unaffected but he was pretty sure that didn't work. "I couldn't make it."
"Jess, I sent you a save the date a year ago, and the invitation months ago, I made sure you'd have enough time to set up time off of work and travel, then I sent you a special second invitation just last month so I'd be sure you wouldn't forget. Why didn't you make it happen? I needed you there with me, why weren't you?"
"You know why," he eventually croaked out, sure he sounded even more pained than before. Standing up a little straighter and clearing his throat yet again, he tried to get ahold of himself and the situation, "Why aren't you there? You're kind of a main component of the event, it can't happen without you."
She sniffled, making him realize that she'd been almost to tears since he answered the door. "Be-because…" She started but didn't continue.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, come in Rory, sit down, I'll get you some water," Jess said while stepping aside.
Rory nodded her head and walked inside the house, somehow instinctively knowing where the living room was. She sat down on the couch and Jess patted her back lightly as he passed by her. He went into the kitchen, quickly got her a glass of water, and then walked back to Rory. When he made it into the living room he dropped the glass of water in fright seeing someone standing in the hallway, "Fuck!" He exclaimed in fright before continuing after his outburst made her look scared too, "Shit, I'm sorry, I forgot you were here. Sorry," He added the second apology when her face showed that his words hurt her.
He could understand, it couldn't feel good being forgotten by the man you just spent the night with less than a minute after another girl showed up but there was nothing he could do about it. Or at least nothing he would do about it right now, Rory was his priority. She always affected him that way, making him forget that there are other people around, fuck, made him forget that they weren't the only two people on the planet when she entered a room.
Rory noticed Sara and stood up, "Oh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company, I should go, I shouldn't have come."
Sara, or was it Tara? Either way, she started to nod her head but Jess lunged forward and grabbed Rory by the wrist, "Rory, no! Don't go, sit, please."
Apparently, she read the desperation in his words because she looked at him wide-eyed for a moment before nodding and sitting back down. Of course, she'd see how much he wanted her to stay, when he told her that he knew her better than anyone, he meant it went both ways.
He supposed his desperation wasn't as hidden as he thought because Tara cleared her throat, "Uh, I guess I'm going to get going then…" She trailed off, hoping he'd stop her too but he simply nodded his head and she sighed before grabbing her purse and walking out the front door, Jess was sure she'd never answer the phone now were he to call but it was worth it, Rory clearly needed him.
Jess forgot about her the moment the door shut. He sat down next to Rory, as close as he could without it being too intimate for friends, and as close as he could get without ruining her dress, and grabbed her hands in his. "Rory, talk to me, I'm here."
Rory seemed to forget about the girl too because as soon as his words were out of his mouth her tears were back and she leaned in and burrowed her head into his chest, Jess automatically wrapped his arms around her, not really sure how else to help. He'd do whatever he could to make her feel better but he didn't have much experience comforting a girl, not before or since they dated when they were still kids. He barely understood her words through the muffle of his shirt and chest, "I already told you, you weren't there!"
He rubbed her back slowly, trying his best to comfort her but feeling uncomfortable while trying, "I'm sorry Rory, I just… couldn't" He ended his sentence after a few long moments break.
"I needed you and you weren't there! I couldn't get married without you."
His need to comfort started to turn into anger at her words, unsure why she was saying this, "Rory, stop, you knew I wasn't coming, I never RSVP'd, answered any of your numerous emails or texts about it, I politely told Luke and Lorelai to mind their own business when you got them to try to prod me into coming. Plus I know for a fact your husband didn't want me there, he's never liked me."
"That's not true, he said I can invite whoever would make me happy, and he's not my husband."
Jess pulled back from her and stood before pacing across the living room once, he stopped and looked at her, for the first time in a while wishing he had a cigarette to smoke and wishing he hadn't quit all those years ago. When he spoke his words were loud, angry, harsh. "And what about me? Don't I deserve to be happy? Or are you just trying to hurt me, to torture me? Because if I went the whole time I'd have to sit there and watch the love of my life get married to someone else, I'd have to smile, make small talk, and pretend I wasn't devastated, pretend I wasn't dying inside."
She flinched back as if he had slapped her. "Jess…"
Once Jess started explaining himself it all came pouring out, somehow Rory always had a way of doing that to him, it wasn't easy to get him to open up but once she managed it, he couldn't help but let it all out. "No, Rory, you know how I feel about you, you've known for years, since we were teenagers running around Stars Hollow together. I know I hurt you when I left but I used the time away to try to fix myself, when I came back to you more grown up to prove myself you sent me away. I understood, left you to do whatever you wanted but couldn't stay away from you, except you sent me away again, and again when I brought you my book, and then you came down here, kissed me, and got my hopes up that you were finally ready to give me a chance, give us a real chance, only to break my heart again when you told me you were just using me. Then you disappeared, I tried, fuck, I tried so hard to get over you but I never could. I've loved you for years, almost a decade now, waiting for you to love me too. But… you don't, you date other people, you live with other people, you get engaged to other people, and then, to twist the knife in my heart one more time, you send me reminder after reminder that you're getting married to other people. I've done the right thing, I've stayed away, let you be happy without me bothering you with my unreciprocated feelings, I don't know what else you fucking want from me." He hated himself a little when the end came out half words, half sobs. He covered up the emotions by getting angry again, "No, that's not true, I do know. Apparently, you really fucking hate me because you needed me to be there when you said the words that would make you completely out of my reach forever."
"Jess…" She trailed off again, this time her words sounding like sobs as well.
Seeing and hearing her like this was very sobering for Jess, he never wanted to be the reason for her upset and pain, not again. So he sat back down next to her and cautiously wrapped his arm around her shoulder, grateful when she leaned into him. "I'm sorry, okay? It was not cool for me to dump that all on you. Let's just forget the last few minutes, alright? For me? Now please, tell me the real reason you didn't get married. And this time don't blame it on a guy you probably only think about every few months, if that, and who you see even less. I didn't mean to put the burden of my feelings on you, especially today."
She sniffled, head against his chest for a few minutes, he was sure that she was getting tears and probably snot on his shirt but he didn't care. He relished any time he had with her, even though he adamantly wished she wasn't so sad, and selfishly that she wasn't wearing her wedding dress as a vivid reminder of her love and commitment to another man. When she finally pulled back to look at him her big doe eyes were staring at him almost unblinkingly, almost hopeful he thought, but that didn't make much sense.
"You've really loved me all this time?" Her words also sounded hopeful, which if he were being honest, just confused him.
"Yeah, of course I have. You can't truthfully tell me you didn't know, right?"
"I-I knew you used to, back before, when I was still in college, when you came to see me those few times, and when I came here for the first time, but I thought you got over it eventually."
"Yeah, well, I just decided it was probably better for everyone if I kept my distance. I didn't want to make your life harder."
"Jess, you don't make my life harder, you never have, you make it better, so much better." Jess looked at her incredulously, clearly not believing her. "Really, I've missed you so damn much. And I, well, I love you too." Rory felt a weight lift off of her, she'd been holding in those words for years, forever it felt like. She doesn't remember a time when she didn't love him, though she knew logically it happened, she only met him when she was sixteen, after all.
Jess' incredulous look didn't lessen. "Rory, you don't have to say that just to make me feel better."
It was Rory's turn to look incredulous, though Jess found it adorable, especially with her glassy eyes and blush from crying. "Jess, I'm not just saying it, I mean look at me," She waved down to her dress, "I left my wedding to find you, everyone is probably going crazy right now. If Logan hasn't found my note yet, he will soon, any minute. I turned my phone off, but I'm sure it'd be ringing like crazy if it was on."
Jess blinked, and then he blinked again, trying to process the information. She left her own wedding for him? The thought was inconceivable, the information just wasn't computing in his head. He wanted to believe her words, God how fucking bad he wanted to believe, but he couldn't, it didn't make sense. Why? Why now? Why not years ago when he asked her to run away with him, why not any of the other times they saw each other and he knew he wasn't hiding his love for her as much as he wanted to. Eventually, he managed to reply, "Rory…what?"
"I love you, Jess, I've loved you since we were dumb teenagers who didn't really know what love was, I've loved you through college and I've loved you while watching you flourish as a writer and grow your business. I think I've loved you since you told me I was hooked on phonics."
Jesus Christ, She remembered that? He did, of course, he did, he remembered everything they ever said to each other, the good and the bad. He held those good memories close late at night when he was alone and sad, he replayed those bad memories over and over again when he felt like punishing himself, he remembered it all, he just couldn't believe that she did too.
"Rory, I just don't get it. If you've loved me all this time why didn't you let us get back together when I tried? Why did you stay with Logan at that bar when I left? Why'd you stay with Logan all these years?"
"I-I don't know, I was scared I guess."
"So since you were scared you decided to spend years with a guy? You were willing to spend the rest of your life with someone else? No, I don't buy it, Rory Gilmore is a lot of things but she's no coward." Jess said, his anger returning.
Rory crossed her arms, building up a head of steam herself. Fuck, he always loved seeing her like that, so full of fire, when he was younger he used to egg her on just to see more of it, "Oh don't throw stones, Mr. Glass house. It's not like you've just been sitting here waiting for me this whole time. Who was it that was sitting here eating breakfast with you before I got here? A friend?"
"No, she's not a friend, she's someone I met about 12 hours ago when I went to the bar to get as drunk as possible to hopefully forget what was supposed to happen today! I figured, hey, why not? She's hot and it's not like I have anyone to wait for anymore."
"Oh what, so you're telling me you've been celibate this whole time but decided to move on the night before my wedding?"
He scoffed, "No, of course not. But I haven't been building a life with anyone else either. I've tried, believe me, I've tried to move on and get over you but I can't. So yeah, sometimes when I'm feeling extra down or lonely, or fuck, if I'm just horny I'll go to a bar, pick someone up, and take them home for a night. That still doesn't answer my question though, if you love me, why wait until your wedding day to tell me?" His anger was almost gone now, he was just trying to understand.
"I don't know."
"That's not going to cut it, Rory, I need an answer." God damn it, he really had to get better at controlling his voice with her, the pleading was back again.
Jess moved closer to her on the couch, he'd moved away in his anger before, "What did you have to be scared of? Did you think what happened before when we were kids was going to happen again?"
She breathed once, calming herself. "That was a part of it, at first. Then when you came to show me The Subsect I pretty much got past that worry but I was a mess, my life was falling apart and you had all your shit together, I felt like I wasn't good enough for you. I promised myself I was going to get my act together and come find you. And I did, or, at least I tried to. When I came here for the open house I was going to talk to you, tell you how I felt. I didn't have all my stuff completely together then but I was close enough that I felt hopeful, and I felt like we'd be more on an even playing field but I chickened out. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't lying when I told you I loved Logan, I still love him but it's nothing compared to what I feel for you. I just got into my head and ended up running away from you."
Well, he couldn't blame her for running away, could he? Fair was fair, after all. Still fucking hurt hearing it though, especially hearing the part about her love for another man. "Okay, I get that but that was more than three years ago, what about all the time between then and now?"
"For a while, I told myself I'd come back here to Philly and tell you, but I kept postponing it until one day I realized it had been over a year and I had to be too late, you had to have moved on, that there was no way you were still waiting for me. So I tried my best to make a decent life for myself, to find some kind of happiness even if it couldn't be with you."
He stared at her for a long time, reading the truth in her eyes, he nodded, "Then what changed today?"
"I couldn't marry him. I was standing there, looking at myself in the mirror, just numb. My mom had already gone to her seat in the chapel so I was by myself and I just realized this is not how someone should feel when they're getting married, that settling for okay when the man I love is still out there in the world wasn't going to work for me. I knew I had to try at least once, I had to tell you the truth once and see if there was any chance you felt the same. I hoped that maybe you'd still show up even though you never answered my emails about the wedding, I had a crazy dream that you were coming just so that you could do that silly cliche thing where you stand up when the priest asks if anyone objects so I snuck downstairs to look for you, when you weren't there I knew the only thing I could do was to come to you."
He wouldn't lie and say the thought of interrupting the wedding hadn't popped into his head once or a thousand times, but it was a thought he quickly pushed away, he figured the only thing that would come from that would be hurting Rory for ruining her wedding and embarrassing himself around everyone he knew from his time in Stars Hollow. Plus, he imagined Luke's disappointed face looking up at him from the front row, shaking his head slowly, and burning hot hatred coming off Lorelai in waves. He and Lorelai had become good with each other over the years, maybe even friends but he figured in her eyes that only lasted as long as he stayed away from her daughter.
He mentally shook his head and focused back on what was important, Rory. He ran her words over and over again in his head, trying to make sure he hadn't missed anything, he wanted this memory burned into his brain for the rest of his long life. Without thinking about it, not being able to resist another fucking second, he leaned forward and smashed his lips against hers, the kiss was burning, demanding and Rory gave in readily. She gasped into his mouth when she needed to breathe and that is when he added his tongue to the kiss, using it to map out every part of her mouth, thinking the kiss felt so fucking familiar but so new at the same time. She wasn't as shy and inexperienced as she was when they were teenagers and he liked it, needed more of it.
He ran his hand from the top of her head through the bottom of her hair, gripping it hard at the end and experimentally pulling it, her head went back with no resistance and she moaned into the air while he moved his mouth down to her cheek, jaw, neck, using his teeth as much as his lips and tongue, he thought he might have actually growled but couldn't be sure. Whatever, she seemed to be enjoying his enthusiasm and he could never get enough of her, now wasn't any fucking different. He used his small height difference over her to lean forward and lay her back on the couch, again she offered no objection, in fact, she seemed to think he was moving too slow if her hands on his back pawing up his shirt were any indication. When she managed to scrunch enough of his shirt that she could pull it up to his neck he lifted his hands up to help her finish getting it off.
He heard her mumble something but he was too focused on his mouth on her neck, and that spot behind her ear that he remembered from high school, so all he could offer her was a half-listening, "Hmm?"
"Get this off of me!" She said a lot louder and that was when he realized her hands left him and started grabbing at her dress trying to get it off, his brain cleared enough to notice that her movement was almost panicked, like the dress was suffocating her. He pulled back enough to look at the dress, and try to figure the insanely fucking over-complicated thing out but he had no idea where to start.
"Turn over." He demanded and she listened immediately breathing heavily but no longer in a sexy way. It was then that he realized he'd been hearing a sound in the background consistently for the last few minutes and realized his phone had been ringing almost nonstop for God knows how long. Whatever, that wasn't important right now, Rory was. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found the zipper and quickly pulled it down making it so Rory could finally take a calming breath. She let her shoulders drop and the two thin straps easily slid off of her letting the dress crumple at her knees. Not knowing how else to help her he loosely wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned over her as she rested on the couch on her hands and knees catching her breath, it slowly evening out. "Are you okay?"
"Mhmm, I am now," She said after a long moment, his phone still ringing in the background, stopping just long enough for whoever was calling to hang up and dial again.
"What happened, Did I hurt you?" Fuck, he hoped he didn't hurt her again.
Her body tensed and she wiggled and maneuvered around so that she was now facing him hugging him back, "No Jess, you didn't hurt me. It's just, all of a sudden I felt so dirty being with you, kissing you, wearing a dress I was supposed to wear to marry another man."
It was Jess' turn to tense, "Do you regret coming here? Want to go back?"
His phone stopped ringing long enough for him to think it was finally over before it started again. Jesus Christ, it was Saturday, Truncheon wasn't even open. He decided right then he and his friends were too fucking codependent for their own good. They better not try to show up here next. Shit. Maybe he should answer to stop that possibility from happening. He was just about to do that when Rory's hug became even tighter, desperate he might even call it, drawing his full attention back to her.
"God, Jess, no! I felt like I was doing wrong to you, not to him."
"Oh," he said as he exhaled the breath he didn't even realize he was holding. Christ, only Rory could get him this tangled up, this self-conscious and worried. He tried to joke it off, "That's okay, then."
She smiled as she kissed him again, not as demanding as his but just as urgent. The start of another round of his phone ringing brought him back to his earlier thoughts so he started to pull away, she whined, "Ignore it."
"I can't, if I do those assholes will just show up here next," He said apologetically, Rory reluctantly nodded and let go of him. He stomped over to the phone and picked it up without looking at the caller ID, "Fuck, couldn't you tell from the first hundred missed calls that I'm busy? What is so goddamn important, is Truncheon on fire or something?"
"Uh, hi. I don't know for sure but if I were to guess I'd say Luncheon is fine since I don't even know what that is."
"Lorelai." He said shocked, simply sitting on the floor where he was standing. She never called him before in the decade they had known each other. He could tell Rory was just as surprised when her head popped up from the other side of the couch with her eyes wider than he'd ever seen them. God, she was fucking beautiful. No, he scolded himself, focus on the phone call.