The Rules of Engagement

Chapter 1 – Thank god for anime bullshit

AN: This is my first attempt at a fanfiction. It will probably not be very good. The character this fic is centered around is not intended to be a good person or even always very likable. This will be a tale of a man who is almost as hollow as the hollows he slays. All feedback is welcome as long as it is given with good intentions.

Warnings: Murder, maybe some Misogyny, Graphic content

Edit: name change

Well, today has not gone as expected. Although, who expects a soul-eating monster to chase you through town and into the woods? Maybe I should explain a bit, My name is Jack Burton, and I'm just your average red-blooded American man or well your average red-blooded American man who lived 30 years died, and was reincarnated. During my first life, I was just a guy who liked video games, anime, and pussy. Oh, and I was also a cold-blooded killer for the government. Besides the whole government-sanctioned murder my last world was pretty boring, to be honest. I thought this one was similar the only difference being that I was born 10 years earlier in 1980. I expected to just go through life and get to abuse my future knowledge a bit as an adult. That plan was going fine, I got great grades in school, was great at sports, in even better shape than in my last life, it was all going well. That is until this morning when a giant monster tore through my house killed my family and proceeded to chase me about 3 miles into the woods. Now one would expect the worst part of that to be how my family is dead or you know the whole almost certainly going to die part. But you would be wrong, the worst part is that I know exactly what that monster is … a hollow.

So, here I am lost in the woods with nowhere left to go about to be devoured by a hollow. I have tried everything at this point, shooting it with the gun that I hid in my backpack, throwing my knife at it, and even throwing almost every book in my backpack at it. None of it worked and now all I have left is my journal, the journal where I kept all of my future knowledge, the journal that was supposed to represent my ticket to a life that was actually worth living. I could throw it as well, but I know it's pointless.

"Raghhhh" screeched the hollow. It lunges at me. I am barely able to dodge it, but I do dodge and get a bit of breathing room.

"God dammit, is this really how I go out? What I wouldn't give for a bit of anime bullshit right about now." I said.

While contemplating how lame my last words were I felt something stir deep within me. I immediately pulled on that feeling as hard as possible but nothing came of it. The hollow moved closer, its menacing bone-white jaw opening. I had to do something so I found that feeling again and pulled as hard as I could. I felt something change, I saw something glow though it wasn't me. My journal was glowing and when it stopped it had changed from a brown leather bound journal into … a brown leather bound journal that said rules on the cover. "Yep, I'm dead." I thought. Then I noticed that in addition to the change in my journal, I also had a bastard sword on my back. Acting quickly I drew the sword and just in time I cleaved straight threw the hollows mask and saved my life. Or at least that's how it went in my head. In reality, I got maybe a fourth of the way through its head before my sword stopped. Still, the hollow definitely felt that and it reared back in pain. As all heroes do when they first get their powers I promptly slew it and celebrated my victory … nah just kidding I ran the fuck away while it was distracted.

After putting a few football fields between me and that bitch ass hollow I took stock of my situation. I first examined the book, maybe it said rules because it had all the rules of my new powers in it. I opened it up and it was blank, fuck my life. Ok so in summary I have a sword and some hopefully awesome new powers however I have no idea how those powers operate. I could hear the hollow in the distance, and it was getting closer by the second. I know I have no chance in a fight even with the sword. I have to figure out this book or I'm cooked. I started thinking about what I know at this point, I have a blank book that says rules, maybe whatever I write in it becomes a rule? Thinking fast I grabbed a pen from my pocket and tried to write 'no hollow can eat me'. Tried being the keyword, but as soon as my pen touched the page my entire body felt like it was thrown into the sun. Quickly removing the pen from the page I screamed in frustration. A scream answered back right in front of me, the hollow was here. It lunged toward me with its jaws and in desperation I tried to write 'no biting' in the book and ... holy shit it worked. I looked up and saw the hollow staring at me with bewilderment and for some reason pain in its eyes. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I grabbed my sword and this time cut clean through its head.

As the hollow died I felt slightly invigorated and an immense sense of relief. Then I started to wonder why the book worked this time when it almost killed me the first time. What was different? … after thinking about it I came to the important realization that I have no fucking idea. Putting that aside I started to unpack today's revelations. First off I'm not in my original world but the bleach universe. Not a bad place to be stuck, to be honest, I'm familiar with it at least. It also has a ton of really hot babes who I can hopefully get out of their pants. Thinking over what I knew of the bleach verse I decided I must be a fullbringer since I'm not dead and my power is object-based. I thought over what I know about fullbringers it isn't a lot. I'm pretty sure they manipulate the souls of objects or some shit. I'm also pretty sure they all have a shard of the Soul King as well. I could go to Ginjo to learn more but I immediately dismissed that idea because he is evil and weak, which is the worst combination. But I needed to go to someone for training as I doubted I could get truly strong on my own. Well, that's something to decide later for now I need to get home or at least get to what is left of home.

I arrived at what was left at my house and was immediately greeted by the police. They asked me a bunch of questions and I quickly realized that telling them the truth was out of the question. I thought fast and quickly spun a lie about a crazy guy blowing up part of the house and killing my mother and father while casing me into the woods. They were reluctant to believe me at first, but they had nothing else to go on and could tell that I didn't do it since there was no blood on me, they eventually accepted it. After they finally left, I called the most important person to me right now, the family lawyer. I told him what happened and asked him to get started on the will reading ASAP. Now you might think this is a cold attitude to have about your family's death and you would be right. I never really cared about my family or at least the one I had in this life. Just your average well-off white family where the dad is at work all day and prefers to be left alone the few times he is home and the mom is guzzling down wine like it's water from the fountain of youth. We weren't that close and they mostly just used me to brag about how great their kid was to the other families in town. No real extended family to speak of either which was good since they may have gotten something in the will instead of it all going to me. I gathered up everything that had real value and called one of my "friends" from school. I told them and their parents what happened and asked if they would be willing to take me in for a while. I knew they would say yes since they were pretty generous people, that's why I chose them well and the mom is really hot (hopefully being freshly orphaned will be a real panty dropper). Hopefully, some sleep will help me think about my next move.

Well, it has been two years since that hollow attack that killed my family and a lot has happened since. I was allowed to stay with the family that took me in by the state which was nice. They weren't too bad and stayed out of my way for the most part, well except for the mom who was in my way quite often if you know what I mean. I got everything in the will which was nice. It all amounted to about 2 million USD which is way better than having a family in my opinion. Maybe I should write that hollow a thank you letter. I wish I could say that was the only hollow I encountered but sadly that's not the case. I've slain more than a dozen over the last 2 years, mostly in the same way I killed the first. I did notice that every time I kill one I feel a tiny bit stronger but that could just be my mind playing tricks on me. I also took the time to learn how to use my sword effectively, which I didn't make as much progress on as I would like to have. I took the time to learn Japanese as well. That's about it for the good news. The bad news is that I still barely understand my powers and how to use them. But that will change today, today I will find someone who can teach me all I need to know and more … or today is the day I get horribly murdered. Yep, if you haven't guessed I am currently on my way to the Urahara Shoten. Kisuke will be able to train me effectively and is mostly not evil … I hope. What is my plan you ask? Well, I am going to go in there look him dead in the face and tell him everything. There is a 0% chance I will successfully lie to him so truth is my only option. Hopefully, he will see the value in having someone who knows the future on his side. I can hopefully get away with only vague details of the future so he can't just kill me after I've told him everything.

As I finally reach my destination, I ignore all the weird looks from the locals. I guess it is not every day a 6'4" muscular blonde haired blue eyed white guy walks into town. Maybe it's spectacle maybe it's some good old-fashioned racism I'm not sure and to be honest I don't care. I get to the shop and open the door only to find it empty.

"Hello, anyone there?" I say. Silence greets me in return. I call out again, and I'm greeted with more silence.

"I know you are here Kisuke Urahara former captain of the twelfth division." I state loudly. This time I am greeted, by the most crushing spiritual pressure I have ever felt.

"Well, isn't this interesting." He said lazily. He had his trademark uniform on with his signature fan covering his face. His eyes seemed to smile at me but they promised great violence at the same time. "It's not very often that someone comes in here knowing such … dangerous information. You wouldn't be willing to tell this humble shopkeeper how you learned it would you?" he asked in his normal lazy voice but I didn't miss the underlying hint of danger in his tone.

Now normally I am a pretty unshakable guy, hell in my last life I'd been shot at, shot, stabbed, and even tortured a few times. By the end of my last life, none of that would have phased me in the slightest. But this was different, in front of me was a being that could swat me like a bug with his mere presence not to mention ragdoll me in any confrontation. So, I'm not particularly proud of what happened next.

As fast as I could I blurted out "I'm from another world, I know it sounds crazy but please believe me it's true. I died there and I reincarnated here and I know who you are because it was an anime in my old world…. Please don't kill me!" The room seemed to still for a moment and his eyes lost their smile.

"You don't seriously expect me to believe that do you?" Kisuke asked without his normal lazy drawl.

"It is the truth! Ask me anything and I'll prove it." I boldly declared.

"What were the first words I ever said to Yoruichi?" He asked. I stared at him blankly for a moment, realizing that there was actually a lot I don't know, and telling him to ask me anything was a huge mistake.

"Ok, you got me I have no idea. But that's only because you aren't the main character so that was never covered." I said hoping that he would ask something more plot-related this time.

"Oh, well then who is the main character then?" He asked using his lazy tone again. Finally, something I can answer correctly I thought.

"Ichigo Kurosaki of course." I had planned on saying a bit more on the subject but was cut off as the spiritual pressure in the room skyrocketed. I slammed to my knees desperately struggling to stand up, my pride waring with the intense pressure and losing badly. Right as I was about to be forced to the floor, I felt a hand tighten around my throat, and was lifted into the air. As I stared into his angry eyes, I concluded that mentioning Ichigo was a mistake.

"Tell me how you know who Ichigo is. No lies this time." He stated calmly.

"I already told you the truth, I'm from another world that's how I know it." I managed to get out despite the active choking. As soon as I finished his hand clenched around my throat fully cutting my air supply off. I knew I had to act fast and lashed out with a kick to the groin. I hit steel possibly breaking my foot, undeterred I brought my arm up and went for a chop to his elbow. Again all I felt was pain and I realized I was just too weak to even make him budge. Coming here was a huge mistake now I'm going to die before I even start really living. No, No, NO! I'm not going to just roll over and die! As fast as I could I grabbed my book and wrote 'no choking' and as soon as I finished my airway was open again as he ripped his hand back eyes wide with pain. No time to waste I quickly wrote 'no attacking' before he could move in and finish me off.

"Hmm, odd whenever I think about attacking you I get this feeling that is warning me away from it. I'm guessing that has something to do with that book you wrote in?" He said slipping into scientist mode for a second. I was just relieved he seemed to be out of murder mode for now.

"Yes, I believe so. To be honest I'm not 100% sure how my powers work." I said trying to salvage this disastrous meeting so far. "That's actually why I came to you, in hopes you would help me understand my power and become stronger."

"I see, and what would this humble shopkeeper get out of this arrangement?" He asked in his normal lazy tone but I could hear a hint of interest in his voice.

"Another soldier on your side of the board in the coming wars. Hopefully, a pretty powerful one too. In my last life I was a soldier, a damn good one at that. I can be quite the piece on your board if you let me." I said confidently. I know I am valuable, I have skills, knowledge, and drive. With time and training, there is no limit to my potential but I guess it doesn't matter what I think only what Kisuke does.

"Quite the offer you have for little old me. But maybe I'm quite content with the pieces I have now. Got anything else to sweeten the deal?" He said lazily. I'm not sure whether he is bluffing or not, he is incredibly hard to read. I feel that my current offer should be more than enough but can I risk it? If I'm wrong there is no chance he lets me go free. I decided to sweeten the deal to the best of my ability.

"Well besides the additional offer of being able to study a fullbringer up close. I can also offer you the location of some dangerous groups. Tell me have you ever heard of the Bounts?" I say confidently.

"No, I can't say I have ever heard of any such group." He states. My confidence plumets.

"It seems we are in a cannon-only world then, well what about the wandenriech? How about some info on them?" I say trying to regain his interest.

"Can't say I've heard of them either." He says but it is plain to see he is interested.

"No, I don't suppose you would have heard the name yet. However, I'm sure you are familiar with the prophecy." I state with confidence. When his eyes widen a bit I know I've finally got him where I want him.

"Oh, I know of a few so-called prophecies. You will have to be more specific." He says with a notably less lazy tone than usual.

"I'm pretty sure it goes like this "900 years to regain his heart, 90 years to regain his intellect, 9 years to regain his power, and in 9 days he will regain the world" sound familiar?" I say with a confident smirk.

"Yes… I've heard that one." Kisuke said. Silence reigned for a minute, both of us waiting for the other to break it. After a few minutes, I was getting antsy while he was still waiting like he could do it for years. Which I suppose he could due to the whole thousand-year lifespan he likely has. Finally, I broke.

"Well, what you also probably know is that 3 years ago when Ichigo was 9 his mother somehow died to a hollow despite being a powerful Quincy. Have you ever wondered how that happened? It's almost as if someone robbed her of her powers that night." I said in frustration. I knew he had already figured out what I was trying to convey and was being purposely difficult now.

"I have wondered that from time to time. Although I will correct you that Ichigo was 12 when his mother passed." He said nonchalantly. Meanwhile, that last bit had almost triggered a full-blown panic attack in me. I immediately wondered if this was my fault somehow. Then I realized that if he was 12 3 years ago he would be 15 now which is the age he is at the start of cannon.

"Do you know a Shinigami by the name of Rukia Kuchiki?" I blurt out in a panic.

"I can't say I've ever met her, but I do know the name." He replied. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least canon hasn't started yet, maybe it will start when Ichigo is 18. In that case, it's great news since if Ichigo is 18 Orihime will be 18 as well. I hadn't planned on trying to get into her pants originally but now it is definitely on the table.

"Never mind then." I wave him off. "So that's my offer, a useful piece added to your board and information on the Wandenriech." I say thoroughly done with this back and forth. He remains silent for quite some time but I don't fall for his trap again. Finally, after what seems like hours he speaks.

"Well, I suppose I could always make use of another piece and some information, and I will never turn down a willing test subject." He says cheerfully with a smile that managed to be both goofy and unnerving. I extended my hand and a deal was struck.