Revamped!

[This chapter is both sweet and sad so don't come after me.]

Burned to Cinder: Part Five

At thirteen-years-old, cooties have now become crushes. Rumours about Jacin liking Winter and vice versa have been spreading like a forest fire. Nobody confirmed or denied anything, not even Jacin or Winter. But even then, Jacin and Winter still played the "just friends" card even if they did have secret feelings under the table for one another. Still, at thirteen, it was typically puppy love or a hormone-induced puberty enabling these feelings, there was something truly genuine between Jacin and Winter.

"They do like each other," Iko says as she spies on Winter and Jacin from outside the ice cream parlour.

From across the street, Iko, Cinder, and Kinney hide behind a decorative bush with a view of the ice cream shop and inside are Jacin and Winter. At first glance, Jacin and Winter seem to just two friends getting ice cream but look a little deeper and the sweetness was present in more than just the dessert. They stand too close to be just friends and their fingers always brush against each other's with the desire to intertwine.

"Why aren't you buying me a cone?" Winter playfully asks Jacin.

Jacin looks at Winter and the sprinkled ice cream cone in his hands. To his surprise, they're both looking at each other and not the delectable dessert.

"I only have so much money," Jacin says.

He takes a lick to sample and over-exaggerates how delicious it is to make Winter jealous. Winter narrows her eyes in an attempt at jealousy but her mouth can't change its grin. Instead, Winter pushes Jacin's cone right into his face. As he removes it, he licks a little off as Winter uses her finger to swipe some ice cream from his face to taste for herself.

"I've had better," Winter says.

"You're actual trouble," Jacin tells her as ice cream drips down his face and he looks for napkins.

Winter raises an eyebrow in interest. "Trouble… I kinda like it."

Jacin scoffs a little. "Okay, Trouble, what're you going to do about this?"

Winter thought that Jacin would smash the rest of the cone into her face but unexpectedly, Jacin quickly cups her face and kisses her. Winter tenses due to the shock but she eventually eases into it. The kiss is sweet and scorching and it would be even without the ice cream. There's a sugary ember in Winter's chest that becomes a melting inferno of desire for Jacin. First kisses are supposed to be awkward but thank the mighty stars that this one wasn't. Somehow, their mouths met perfectly and their breathing matches in rhythm. Their hearts and thoughts slow down.

From outside, the jaws of Cinder, Kinney, and Iko drop. Nobody saw that coming nor did they see the same thing.

"What a waste of ice cream!" Cinder exclaims.

Iko slaps her arm and Cinder jumps back.

"Was that really what you took from that?!" Iko yells. "Winter and Jacin kissed and you're concerned about the ice cream?"

"Yes."

Iko rolls her eyes. "Unbelievable."

Kinney laughs. "Believable."

"Seriously?"

Kinney shrugs. "How should I have reacted?"

To both Kinney and Cinder's surprise, Iko screams for joy. That reaction scared them and got Jacin and Winter's attention who. Kinney and Cinder duck behind the bush and they both push Iko inside the bush so they don't get seen.

After their distraction which made them separate from their kiss, Jacin and Winter look at each other. Now that their faces are covered in ice cream, they got napkins and wiped it off, laughing awkwardly in the process.

"Wow…" Winter mutters. "Jacin, I -"

"I'm sorry -" Jacin says immediately, "unless you liked it then, you're welcome."

Winter nods excitedly. "I liked it. I liked it a lot."

Jacin sighs out of relief. "That's great. I always put my energy into trying my best not to blush at the sight of your magnificent face and I just couldn't hold myself in anymore so I acted upon it."

Winter smiles at him. "I'm really glad you did."

-o-

Another day came where Evret was called to be deployed. Everyone stands in the kitchen where Evret was already in his uniform, ready for duty. Levana stands by his side as she watches Evret give his goodbyes to Winter and Cinder. She leans against the kitchen island as she clears the dishes from their breakfast.

Cinder turns around and salutes Evret. "Aye, aye, Captain."

Evret laughs to himself. "I already told you, I'm not a captain."

Cinder gives Evret another salute just for laughs. Evret smiles as he ruffles her already messy hair. He turns to Winter who already hugs him tightly around his waist, her face pressed into his uniform.

"Come back," Winter tells him, her words blurring into his uniform. "Be safe."

"Always," Evret replies, kissing the top of her head, "and be good."

"Always."

Evret goes towards Levana. He holds her arms and proceeds to kiss both of her cheeks. They've been through this many times so this wasn't new. She pulls him closer to give him a quick kiss and he keeps her there for a few seconds longer.

"Take care of the girls," he whispers.

"Of course."

-o-

A few weeks later, Levana hears a knock on the door. She goes to answer it, dismissing the house staff. Levana peeks through the peephole and sees a soldier in full uniform on the other side. She immediately steps back and pauses. If there was one useful thing that Levana's learned from the other soldier wives, specifically the widows, it's that if during your husband's deployment comes a soldier who wasn't your husband knocking at your door, it was bad news. If it was good news, your husband would be the one sharing it.

Levana stands frozen. She doesn't want to answer the door and hear the upcoming worst news of her life. She wants to live in this moment where everything is fine even if there's something looming on the other side. She doesn't want to hear what she knows will destroy her at the end.

The knocking comes again and Levana jumps a little this time. She isn't sure what to do. Her initial plan is to leave the soldier there and maybe he'll just go away, but he'll eventually come back.

"Who's there?"

Levana's body tenses as she hears that young voice. She turns around and sees that it's only Cinder.

"No one," Levana replies softly and sharply. "Go upstairs."

"It's a soldier!" Winter exclaims excitedly.

Levana peeks into the living room and sees Winter kneeling on the couch and looking out the window. She bounces off the couch and runs to the main foyer where Levana and Cinder are. They're excited to see a man in uniform at their door. Levana pities their innocent naivety (and yet, she's deeply envious of it).

The third round of knocking happens, only making Levana more nervous and the girls more curious.

"Go upstairs," Levana orders more harshly this time.

Cinder and Winter don't move. Levana looks down at them and isn't in the mood to have her patience be tested by them. Once the fourth round of knocking occurs and the girls still don't move, that's when Levana's patience breaks through its seams.

"Winter, Selene, get to your rooms this instance or you will starve tonight."

That's the straw that gets Winter and Cinder up the stairs and it wasn't the death threat. Levana never flustered when it came to Cinder's birth name, but when it does come out, that's when they know that Levana was about to lose her spades. But they didn't go to their rooms; they crouched at the top of the staircase, behind the railing so they could still get a view of the front door. Levana knew they were up there but didn't care anymore. She had to get this done.

The door handle feels cold in her shaking hand as Levana opens the door. Instantly, her eyes meet those of the soldier who removes his cap when he locks eyes with her. Everything is silent between them and Levana realizes that she's still holding onto the door handle which has now become warmer in her grip.

"Ms. Blackburn?" The soldier questions for courtesy although he knows that it's her.

Levana nods slowly as she feels a lump forming in her throat. She watches as the soldier opens his jacket and pulls out a letter for her. Levana takes it and unfolds it, reading the words to the best of her ability since the tears that are forming in her eyes start to blur her vision. Still, she knows what it says and it's why she should've left the door closed.

"I'm so sorry, Levana," the soldier continues.

Levana nods slowly. The soldier continues speaking but Levana can't bring it to herself to listen, holding back her cries. All Levana can hear is Winter sobbing uncontrollably from the top of the staircase with Cinder consoling her while restraining her tearless cries. Levana isn't sure what Winter is feeling now since she heard that she lost her father and Levana isn't sure how she's feeling now that she's another soldier widow. It feels like being suffocated or strangled. And that's when Levana knew that she had a heart because love is painful and at that moment, with Winter's cries in the background, she could feel it breaking. Little bits fall away until the whole thing finally cracks.

-o-

Evret's funeral was a week later and everyone they knew attended. Unlike Channary's funeral, Levana didn't wear a veil and this time, instead of Selene, Winter was attached at her hip. Both girls teared up for Evret as he got his soldier's farewell and people gave their speeches. They asked Levana if she was willing to make a speech. She declined, seeing no point. Evret was dead and nice words were of going to bring him back. People gave their condolences but Levana didn't say much since she just wanted to be alone, even with Winter by her side.

Cinder stands to the side as she sees Levana with tears in her eyes as she runs her fingers through Winter's hair and stares into Evret's open coffin, seeing a life that was taken in the war. She could never think of a time she has seen Levana cry before this moment. She was the strong and cold one in the family. So many thoughts run through Cinder's mind as she sees tears in Levana's eyes. Cinder stands there, staring down at her sneakers which Levana didn't yell at her for wearing. She loved Evret like a father as well but she just couldn't bring it to herself to cry. She looks up when she suddenly sees Winter suddenly standing in front of her.

"Cinder, it's not bad to cry," Winter tells her. "People will be impressed that you're not a cyborg and have human emotions."

"Evret would tell me to stop crying," Cinder responds.

"Dad's not here anymore and he wouldn't."

Those words hit Cinder like a wrecking ball. She backs up and runs to be somewhere else. Winter watches her run before turning back to Levana. Levana rests her hands on Winter's shoulders and searches for Cinder. When their eyes meet, Cinder's breath hitches. She sees Levana as a woman or a queen who always gets through, who continues to survive the death that surrounds her.

Levana looks away from Cinder since that when she realizes that she's now in full guardianship of two teenagers who aren't biologically hers.