AN: Those of you feeling the need to post anonymous and destructive comments how much you disagree with this story - please don't, they are not particularly constructive. I already deleted a few if you felt like going looking for them. Or just sign your name so I know whether it's just one person spamming me or several. There is no obligation to continue reading if you hate it. I mostly just feel like you don't fully get where I am going with this though.

Just because the story may sound at times like all I am doing is making excuses for Logan, doesn't mean this is actually it. The things Rory 'says' to herself, are what she believes in the moment without explaining her every inner thought or her reasons for thinking that way. And her forgiving him for some late night phone call is not about forgiving him and just getting back together with him, it's about being able to coexist with him as co-parents. She sees it as him being in pain, even if there is a manipulative trait in the way that he behaves. She's seen that trait before and is well aware of it. Logan is a victim of his circumstances in part, but I personally see it as him being deeply insecure too and therefore behaving like he has no choice in the matter. Part of that reason is Rory herself, but even she doesn't fully grasp it yet how badly she had hurt him. So all the hurt and mistreatment is very much on both ends. Rory is not blameless in this. Plus even though Logan has no intention of taking the baby from her, Rory still senses it as a possible fear of hers if they don't learn to just get along. She's seen her friends and family deal with custody issues, plus she's consulted Emily's lawyer on the matter too, making her at the very least aware of the possibility. I don't want to start every chapter by having to defend myself or this story.

Chapter 19

"Hey, mom," Rory chimed, walking into her mother's house like she still lived there and sank down onto the couch defeatedly.

"That's not the sound of someone returning from a weekend away with someone as cute as professor Culbertson," Lorelai chimed, having clearly been stalking the guy online ever since Rory had mentioned him.

"We broke up," Rory exhaled. "Not that we were ever officially together or anything. It's not like we ever had 'the talk'," she added.

"Aw, that sucks. What happened?" Lorelai inquired, taking a seat at the sofa next to her.

"Everything was great. We had some good food, saw some things… And then he just… it came so out of the blue I honestly felt completely blindsided. He just said he couldn't do this," Rory explained, gesturing down at her belly.

"Well..," Lorelai began, choosing her words. "I have to admit, I was a little surprised when you said he was fine with it. It's not something most guys are drawn to, at least not when it's their baby," Lorelai explained.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Rory exclaimed.

"Well, I wasn't the one in contact with him. Maybe he really was one of those guys who can just look past it," Lorelai replied.

"Well, clearly he wasn't," Rory reflected, disappointedly. Even the drive back hadn't cleared her head well enough to really let this go. Maybe if she hadn't made a big deal about the kick? The guy had been pushed from zero to hundred, as in finding out she was pregnant to begin with to feeling the baby kick, making it perhaps a little too real, in less than a month. A small part of her genuinely hoped he'd come around and text her he'd made a mistake, but the coldness with which they'd departed - hadn't left her with much hope realistically.

"Come here," Lorelai wrapped her arm around Rory's shoulders. "It's his loss, you know what, right?" she added.

"Maybe I just wanted him to be fine with it? Maybe I just didn't read his doubts clearly enough? Maybe this was all just too much too fast?" Rory discussed.

"That's a hell of a lot of 'maybe'-s, but whatever works, honey," Lorelai patted her shoulder.

"No-one's ever going to want me again, are they?" Rory pouted.

"Em… the baby will, I guarantee it," Lorelai teased.

"That's not what I mean," Rory frowned, giving her mother a meaningful look. She missed a man's touch, and this was as obvious as she was going to be to share that with her mother.

"Well, maybe not right now - soon your ankles will swell and you'll get so big you can hardly move…," Lorelai began her usual description of late stage pregnancy, speaking from experience.

"Mom, stop it!" Rory scolded her. "I'm serious!" she exclaimed, adding on a sadder tone - "What if I'll be alone forever…?"

"You won't. I promise you. You'll bounce back in no time. Sleepless nights, breastfeeding and carrying around 30-something pounds that's kicking and screaming makes a surprisingly good work out," Lorelai pointed out. "Besides - look at me? Sure, it took a few years, but I had plenty of admirers after I had you. And now there's Luke," she continued, after a deep breath.

"Yeah, but you were young. I don't have that advantage," Rory complained.

"An advantage - that's the first time anyone has called my teen pregnancy something sounding so positive," Lorelai chuckled.

"You know what I mean. I've read about this. The sleeplessness is a lot harder in the 30s, the skin isn't as elastic… and the dating pool is already shallow to begin with. Who am I going to meet - here especially!?" Rory ranted.

"You'll meet someone special when you're ready. When it's the right time," Lorelai assured, insightfully.

Rory rolled her eyes at her mother.

"Logan called," Rory confessed with a deep sigh.

"Way to bury the lead there," Lorelai reflected.

"I almost wish he hadn't. He was drunk and depressed - he didn't sound good," Rory summed things up, wanting to share this heaviness she felt with someone.

"That's not very nice of him," Lorelai replied.

"Honestly, I'm mostly just worried about him," Rory sighed.

"Yeah, but isn't this the time when he's the one who's supposed to worry about you, not the other way around?" Lorelai asked.

"I'm not sick or handicapped, mom," Rory frowned, disappointedly.

"I know that, but it's just generally considered polite not to cause any unnecessary stress to someone carrying their baby," Lorelai expounded, pushing her nose ever so slightly up in the air.

"All I want is him to… ugh… to just be happy… or at least… content, stable. I want us to get along. I want us to get along for the sake of the baby. I don't want any issues that could make this more difficult than it already is. And from all the way over here I just feel so helpless," Rory explained.

"Well he is a grown man, so he can actually be considered responsible for his own wellbeing. Besides, he does also have someone there who's supposed to look after him if he's not. Even if things are a little bit more complicated than usual," Lorelai said, hinting at Odette.

"I know…," Rory replied.

"You're not responsible for his happiness…," Lorelai reminded her.

"I know..," Rory sighed, knowing she needed to stop feeling like she was. "But I want the baby to have a dad, even if he is just somewhere out there…," Rory sniffled slightly.

"I thought he could be involved," Lorelai replied, based on the knowledge that she had even if she didn't know the whole story about Odette being pregnant.

"He can't promise me he can be involved, involved much that is. But who knows - maybe someday, in some form…," Rory explained.

"You certainly give him a lot of credit… I just hope he deserves it," Lorelai cautioned her.

That gave Rory some much-needed perspective. Maybe she was indeed living in some fantasy world. And at that point she made a decision that held just herself and her baby in focus - she wanted to focus on the two of them. There were prenatal classes to take, books to read, sales to shop for baby clothes and whatever else she need. She was going to have her hands full as it was - maybe not having to worry about a relationship with Tucker was actually a good thing? And her relationship with Logan - the relationship in which they were bi-continental, semi-secretive, co-parents with loads of complicated history - was perhaps too much on its own for her to maintain. Deep down she knew her mom was right - Logan was responsible for his own life, it was just her who needed to let go of feeling like she could somehow help things. But she knew this worked both ways - Logan needed to learn that too.

It was for this reason that Rory, back at her apartment, working on Jess' manuscripst, picked up the phone again later that night, seeing it was Logan who was calling her again.

"I wasn't sure you were going to pick up," Logan said, after weak and regretful greetings.

"Well, you made me worry last night," Rory admitted, biting her lip. Maybe she shouldn't have said that.

"I'm so very sorry about last night. I shouldn't have called like that. I shouldn't have said what I said… I don't even remember all of it. Finn filled me in… I'm really, really sorry," Logan said.

Saying 'It's fine' sounded simple, too simple, and in no way sufficient.

"Uh-huh," Rory barely managed.

"I just had a bad night," Logan excused himself.

"Look, Logan. I am a fairly understanding person. I get that your life is complicated and you have plenty you're not happy with. Some of it isn't your fault and I am sorry about that, but as they say one is the one in charge of one's own happiness, and I agree with that. If you have issues - fix it," Rory confronted him. "And this is not about us, not at all..," she added, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. "This is about the baby actually having the option of meeting you one day. This means you're going to have to make sure there's someone there for her to meet. Someone who isn't abusing drugs or booze, threatening to hurt oneself or working themselves into the grave," Rory continued, hitting a sore spot for Logan.

"I'm sorry," Logan managed, quietly.

"And this means you can't call me about stuff like that. Not anymore. I promise I'll keep you posted about the baby, and if there's anything important - of course, you're welcome to call, but no drunken late-night calls, okay? It's not what we are anymore," Rory made her feelings clear.