As soon as Erin got Jay into the stairwell, the rage that had been simmering beneath the surface erupted. Without a second thought, he spun around and slammed his fist into the bulletin board mounted on the wall. The impact sent it crashing to the floor with a sharp thud, papers scattering in every direction. His knuckles throbbed, but the pain barely registered - just another layer beneath the storm surging through him.

It felt like the walls were closing in on him - his reality was being turned upside down so quickly that there was no way to get a handle on it before everything came crashing down. He rested a trembling hand on the wall, his back to Erin, as he forced himself to take slow breaths to dial down the intensity of his anger.

Suddenly, Trudy appeared in the stairwell after hearing the loud noise. However, Erin held up her hand and shook her head to stop her in her tracks. Trudy looked between Jay's back and his partner, knowing how to read between the lines. She wasn't a fan of not knowing what was going on, but she knew to respect it. She gave Erin a nod before turning on her heel and disappearing back upstairs to the front desk - she'd make damn sure nobody else entered that stairwell in the meantime.

"Jay…," Erin said, not finishing the sentence as she realized she didn't know which way to step right now.

He turned to face her slowly, his eyes shimmering with unshed hot tears, his throat tightening with the weight of emotions he couldn't voice. In all his years, he'd never felt so pissed…and so helpless, so lost about what to do, so unprepared to navigate the situation - completely out of his depth, grasping for a solution that didn't exist. It scared the shit out of him.

"What if…" His voice was low, like a whisper, to keep the tears at bay. "I know she's been drinking, but drugs? What if she's been doing drugs this whole time and I missed it. I'm a damn detective. How could I miss this? How?!"

Erin caught sight of the tears brimming in his eyes, and her expression softened instantly. She had seen Jay deal with tough situations before, even after the hardest cases, but she'd never seen him like this. This was different - this was cutting him to the core.

She took a step closer and placed a calming hand on his chest. "I know this is extremely difficult, Jay. There are so many unknowns right now. But we can't focus on those - at least not yet. First, we need to get through the now." She took a deep breath. "I'm here for you, and I don't want to overstep. If you want me to move aside and let you do this on your own, I will. But if you want my perspective…I'll give it."

Her eyes searched his for an answer. Jay didn't trust himself to speak at the moment, because he'd inevitably crack. Instead he offered a nod, signaling her to go on. He'd consume any advice he could at this point, because he was drowning in the deep end.

Erin took a steadying breath before explaining, "She's trying to push you away - that's her MO. She's used to people not caring about her, and she's not used to having boundaries in place. She's been running around on her own for awhile now, so the second someone shows genuine care for her, she pushes back. She pushes back because she doesn't trust anyone - your dad broke any sense of trust she had in her family, and she refuses to show she's vulnerable. So the walls go up and the sarcasm and anger come out." Her hand grabbed Jay's, giving it a loving squeeze. "I've been there. She thinks it's easier to push you away until you give up on her, because her brain has been programmed to expect the worst, thanks to your dad. But, Jay, deep down, she's just a terrified kid."

Jay looked up toward the ceiling and blinked a few times, eager to make the tears disappear. He then ran his free hand over his face, dragging his palm across his stubble like he was trying to scrub away the anger - and the hurt - that was eating at him from the inside.

"So that's her coping mechanism?" he murmured, his voice hoarse.

Erin softened at the sight of him unraveling, though she knew Jay well enough to see him fighting it. "Yeah," she replied gently. "Because that's what's worked for her in the past - she's learned to not let people get too close."

Jay exhaled hard through his nose, anger simmering beneath his skin. Not just at Alex, but at their father for screwing up so much that it programmed his sister into thinking she had to protect herself in this way.

"She's a pain in the ass," Jay muttered, more to himself than Erin.

Erin gave him a small, knowing smile. "Yeah, well, we don't get to choose how people deal with their hurt."

He nodded slowly, staring off into the distance, lost in thought. "But pushing me away...She has no idea what it's like to try and care for someone who refuses to let you."

Erin stepped closer, lowering her voice. "She knows. But admitting that would mean trusting you, and trust...that's her weakness."

The weight of Erin's words pressed down on him. It was a truth he didn't want to hear but couldn't ignore.

"I just—" He let out a frustrated breath, raking his fingers through his hair. "How the hell do I get through to her? Every time I try, she throws it back in my face." His green eyes locked onto Erin's, the vulnerability in them startling.

Erin tilted her head, giving his hand another reassuring squeeze. "You don't let her push you away. That's the fight. Not every battle is about taking ground. Sometimes it's just about standing your ground - staying, even when she makes it impossible."

Jay pressed his lips into a thin line, considering her words. His heart was still heavy, the familiar itch to throw up his walls creeping in. But he couldn't this time.

Erin gave him a final, steady look. "She's testing you, Jay. But the only way you fail is if you walk away."

Jay took a long, deliberate breath and swallowed hard, forcing the knot in his throat - and the tears with it - back down. It was like a switch had flipped. The emotions that had threatened to undo him were now shoved to the backburner, compartmentalized the way the army had trained him. Feelings could wait. The mission came first and he had come up with his orders.

Without another word, he started walking down the stairs. Erin, very concerned at the sudden change in demeanor, jogged beside him downstairs.

"What's the play here, Jay?" she pried quietly. He clearly wasn't in the best head space and she'd try as much as she could to push this toward a solution for them all.

Jay abruptly stopped and ran his tongue along his front teeth. "You said not to book her, right?" His eyes stared at Erin's, daring her to contradict him. She responded by nodding. "Well this is me not booking her." He pointed up the steps. He was right - there weren't any cameras in there, so he didn't have to fill out any paperwork and nobody would even know. "Now I need to handle something…alone," he emphasized without being rude. "Something I should have done weeks ago, and then I'm going to figure out how to make her see that I'm not going anywhere."

He quickly wrapped his hand around the back of her head and pulled her in closely, dropping a kiss on her forehead in gratitude. He wrapped his other hand around her, holding her closely for a moment, soaking in the gentle affection before he brushed past her and headed down the stairs toward their tech room to carry out his plan.