The cool October wind did nothing to ease the tension in my back and shoulders, and the headache brewing right behind my eyes was sure to do me in if I didn't do something about it fast. At least we only had half an hour left. Just 30 minutes until I could get into my truck and leave the worries of work behind until tomorrow. That's only 15 minutes twice. 10 minutes three times. I can do this.

"Let's call it a day gentlemen, I need you all down here for a team meeting!"

Confused looks began to circulate around the roof as we all reluctantly put our tools away and climbed down the ladders. Rick shot me a glance and I simply shrugged, signaling to him that despite my promoted status I had no idea what this was about. Our boss was never one to stop a workday early or one to host any sort of "team meeting." He wanted you on the roof from 6 am until 6 pm, your lunch break being the only exception. We all huddled in an awkward semi-circle, nobody daring to ask what we were all wondering: What the hell are we doing here?

My boss looked remorseful as he stepped in front of us, a look I wasn't used to seeing on him. He clasped his hands together and whistled to get our attention before taking a deep breath and making his announcement.

"We're facing some financial cutbacks, which inevitably means we're going to be facing them with our staff soon enough as well. We're going to be making some tough decisions in the coming weeks, so let's give work our best effort and we'll try and make the layoffs as minimal as possible."

Audible groans made their way through the group. No one likes to hear that they have a decent chance of getting fired in the next month, but my boss quickly held up a hand to silence us. "No positions will be exempt from the layoffs, meaning it doesn't matter how promoted you may think you are. No one is safe, everyone needs to put their best foot forward. That's all I have for you today, you can all take off early."

I felt my heart physically drop to the soles of my boots in that moment. As bad as the layoffs sounded I had tried to convince myself that I wasn't expendable, that my recent promotion meant they valued me as an employee. My boss had made the contrary clear though, no one was safe. I could barely support my brothers on the consistent salary I had now, how the hell was I supposed to manage if I got laid off? Try explaining my situation to a new employer: how I needed flexibility for social worker visits and kid's doctor appointments, how I was only 21 but practically a father. I had already established myself in this company before the accident, but if I was forced to get a new job I'd have nothing.

My head was pounding by the time I reached the house, the brakes once again squeaking, Soda once again having ignored my request that he and Steve take a look at them. I knew the house would be lively with people tonight, our lives didn't change depending on my mood or whether I felt like putting up with everyone's shit that day. So I popped a few too many aspirin, grit my teeth, and bore it, making dinner and trying not to let the sinking feeling in my chest consume me.

The usual crew was home and loud as ever minus Ponyboy, who of course had failed to leave a note. I never seemed to know where my youngest brother was these days and it was starting to scare me. I suppose I can't complain as long as he's home in time for dinner, I thought as I heard the door slam and looked up to see not only Ponyboy but Michael with him. I stand corrected, I thought, I can complain.

I completely ignored my "uncle" and continued preparing dinner, trying to mentally calculate if this was enough food for six people and eventually resigning myself to the fact that it would simply have to be. I managed to stay quiet during the meal, worried that if I said anything I'd snap at someone who didn't deserve it. Sodapop managed to get me laughing a few times, but that's just Sodapop for you. Ponyboy's mention of Dally driving for the first time cracked me up, I still remember the sound of the car hitting the curb and the look of embarrassment on his face. I really wanted to be asking Ponyboy if he had done his homework, or Soda if he had paid the electric like I'd asked, but I supposed it was okay to avoid the more serious topics for just one night. It kept the peace, something I was sure we'd be wishing for if I did end up getting laid off. Then Michael, of course, had to open his big mouth.

"He was one of your friends that went to Windrixville with you last year, right?"

We all froze at his words, Ponyboy's eyes instantly glazing over and I could tell it was only a matter of time before he was back in that church and we had no way of reaching him. Soda recognized the look as well and immediately started comforting our brother.

"Hey, Pone, look at me. You're okay, you're home," he reassured, placing his hand on Pony's shoulder. Ponyboy all but ignored him, his gaze permanently fixed on Michael, who would probably never realize the damage he just did.

"How do you know about Windrixville?" Ponyboy finally asked, his voice barely a whisper. I was surprised he was able to speak. I shot Michael a look that told him to keep his trap shut before he made things worse, but of course, he either didn't see it or ignored it.

"After you told me about your friends I looked in the newspaper archive at the library, I didn't mean to upset you."

I didn't know Ponyboy told Michael about Johnny and Dally, or how much he had even told him, but it didn't give Michael the right to go snooping through our lives whenever he pleased. I opened my mouth to tell Michael that it was probably best he went home, but the sound of Ponyboy's chair scraping against the floor interrupted me before I got the chance.

"It's—it's fine, really. I'm fine," he said, stumbling out of the kitchen, looking lost. I shot Soda a look.

"Pony—" he started, but was cut off.

"I'm gonna go do my homework," said Ponyboy, though I suspected that wasn't true. I could see the redness forming around his eyes, his breaths becoming shallower and shorter. He was trying to show a tough face, but inside he was crumbling.

Steve and Two-Bit finally wised up and took the sound of Ponyboy's door shutting as their cue to leave.

"See you tomorrow morning when I swing by to pick up the kid," said Steve, grasping Soda's hand before making a quick exit.

Two-Bit stood and turned to me. "I'll take Ponyboy out during lunch tomorrow, get him a milkshake or something," he said. I nodded, grateful that there were people to look out for Pony when Soda or I couldn't.

Sodapop left the room to hopefully work his magic on Ponyboy, leaving Michael and I alone at the table.

"Darry I didn't mean to—"

I held up a hand. "Stop, it's okay. You didn't know." As mad as I was at Michael for making a mess of things, I couldn't really blame him. After all, he didn't experience the events of last year firsthand like the rest of us had.

"He told me about his friends and I was just curious, I shouldn't have brought it up," said Michael, still looking sheepish.

"How much did he tell you?"

"Just that he had two friends die around this time last year. I looked through the papers around this time and found his name, along with the rest of the story. That must've been a stressful time, happening only eight months after Margaret and Darrel died."

I nodded. "You don't know the half of it."

"I'm just glad things are going better for you guys now."

I sighed, my boss' words coming back to me, and against my better judgment, I opened up to Michael.

"Well, I mean, things are better, but they're far from perfect. My boss announced that there's going to be layoffs coming, and I'm worried I might be part of them. God, if I lose my job, I don't know what we'll do," I admitted, holding my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry Darrel, that's a lot of pressure for someone your age," Michael said.

I nodded, and he continued.

"You know, between your parents, your friends, and everything you have to deal with, you're under a great deal of stress a lot of the time. I'd love to help—"

"I don't want your money."

"I know, you've made that clear. But I was thinking, and obviously, you can have time to think about it, but what if Ponyboy came to stay with me for a little while?"

I raised my head from my hands to look at him. "What?"

"Elizabeth and I have a spare bedroom, there's good schools in our area, a low crime rate, not to mention tons of programs designed for kids as smart as him. I think it could be a good fit."

I waited a few moments before I spoke.

"Are you shitting me?"

"I beg your—"

"You talk about everything I have to 'deal with.' I don't 'deal with' my family, I work hard and I provide for them. I'm raising my brothers the best I can and I frankly don't give a shit what you have to say about it."

"But don't you think that Ponyboy would have better opportunities in Kentucky? If things haven't been going as well as you'd like them to here it might be good for him to have a change of scenery," said Michael, every word feeling like daggers despite his slow and careful delivery.

Here I had finally opened up to my uncle about what I had been facing, hoping for him to be an adult I could trust in my life, to give me advice and tell me that it would all be okay, and he responded by pointing out all the ways I've failed as a guardian. I realized my mistake; I was looking to Michael to do what my father used to do for me, but Michael was not my father. He was my mom's sorry excuse for a brother who abandoned her just like the rest of her family, and I was furious. I exploded.

"You don't get to come into my house and tell me I'm not good enough!" I shouted, and before I knew it I had stood up and hurled my glass of water at the wall, narrowly missing Michael's head. It shattered, shards flying everywhere, Michael flying out the front door and to his car. My brothers rushed out as he was pulling away.

"What—" began Soda, his and Ponyboy's faces plastered with shock and worry as they surveyed the scene.

I pointed at the open front door and tried to keep my voice even. "Michael never comes here again, you hear me? You don't talk to him, you don't let him in, nothing. We're done."

I retreated to my room and slammed the door, needing to blow off more steam but worried about what I would say or do if I stayed out there any longer. I abandoned my brothers to clean up my mess and put together the pieces of what had happened tonight while I wallowed in my own sorrows in my room. Maybe I was as shitty of a guardian as Michael thought I was.

— — — — — — — — — —

I waited until the house was quiet before coming out of my room. The glass had been cleaned up, the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned. Any semblance of the disasters of the night were erased, now existing only in our memories. I made a beeline to the phone, punching in the number of the only person I could think to call right now. I just hoped I wouldn't scare her away.

"Hello?" Becky answered, clearly having been woken up by the phone.

"Sorry, I know it's late. Can we talk?"

"Darry?"

"Yeah, it's Darry."

"Sure, I can talk. What's up?"

I told her everything from my parents to last year to Michael showing up to the layoffs to everything in my life going to shit. She stayed silent as I vented, but I could feel her listening. I must've talked for half an hour before I finished.

"It's all just one big disaster and I'm not qualified to fix any of it."

"Darry, I—that's a lot. But you're not alone, you know that, right? You've got your brothers, your friends, and you've got me. I know this all seems impossible without your parents, and it's certainly not easy carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you don't have to shoulder that weight alone. We can help you. Let us help you."

I sighed. "I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

"You, Darry Curtis, are not a burden. To anyone. Tell you what: I'm coming over tomorrow and bringing dinner. We can sit down with your brothers and friends and enjoy a meal together, and then you can sit back and relax while the rest of us clean it up, and then the two of us can talk alone. Sound good?"

"Beck, I don't know—"

"Great, I'll be there at six. Love you!"

She hung up before I had the chance to respond. I don't know what was more surprising: my problems not scaring her away, her offering to make dinner for five hungry boys, or her saying I love you after the first date.

I peeked into Sodapop and Ponyboy's room as I passed by, feeling guilty for leaving them to clean up my mess all by themselves tonight. Ponyboy had curled up into a ball, wrapped tightly in the blanket Mom had made for him years ago. Soda lay sprawled out beside him, an arm thrown protectively around his brother. Ponyboy shifted in his sleep suddenly, whimpering and looking agitated. I considered stepping in to comfort him before he worked himself up into a screaming fit but Sodapop had already subconsciously wrapped his arm around our brother tighter, Ponyboy visibly relaxing at Soda's touch. Even in their sleep, they were there for each other. I knew with a surety that I would do anything for my brothers, and even though I seemed to forget sometimes, they would do the same for me. Any member of the gang would.

Becky was certainly right about one thing, I wasn't alone. And I think I loved her too.

A/N: aslkdjfalksajdfkjdalksdjf I see Taylor Swift today! I'll update you all after the concert, enjoy this chapter in the meantime and let me know what you think!