The preparation for the tour was terribly unusual, although the choreography, music, locations – everything – looked and sounded the same as at the last concerts before the band's breakup. They had been held only a few months before. It was impossible to forget the routinized acts after such a short period of time, especially if the guys took into account the colossal experience of Big Time Rush. But everything was going wrong.

"I refuse to do this song!"

Kendall looked sympathetically at his friend. Suspicious. The same man stood before him: hyperactive, open, and a bit childish. But in the last couple of weeks, these traits had been expressed in a new way, as if a dark part of Carlos' personality had taken over. His hyperactivity had transformed into nervousness, his desire to share his inner warmth with others into an inability to hide his heartache, and the naiveté of the "eternal child" had been replaced by resentfulness.

"Carlos," James finally objected. "If I Ruled the World is one of our most popular songs. Griffin would kick us in the head if we gave it up."

"I don't give a damn about that senile man." Carlos crossed his arms sullenly.

"The fans will be upset, too. The farewell tour has to be flawless, and the start, if anything"—James pointed at his watch indignantly—"is in an hour!"

"Do you really care what other people think? What would our friend think? Logan loved If I Ruled the World more than anything else. He always took great pleasure in performing his solo! And now I have to do his lines, simply because the tour will be more flawless with one song. Great!"

"Oh, sorry, I just wanted the tour to be stress-free. It's a shame someone's ruined it again! Now, calm down and answer the question. Who are we doing this for?" James said.

"I don't know, probably for someone." Carlos looked at his opponent unequivocally in the eyes. "Someone who wants to make himself feel good about himself! You don't care about Logan, James! You've never considered his opinion. You've never been as close to him as I am!"

Kendall watched his buddies in despair and feared the argument would escalate, but James only rolled his eyes silently. How tired Kendall was. Lately his head had been buzzing with the regular scandals that came out of nowhere. Every time Logan was mentioned, his brain automatically blocked out the information – Kendall couldn't and didn't want to hear it. The idiotic rehearsals only added to his exhaustion.

"Well, good luck to you, and I'm outta here!" exclaimed Carlos.

Kendall ran after him out of desperation. His hands involuntarily clenched into fists, as if to help him gather his last strength.

"Stop for a second and listen to me. Buddy, we won't have time to rehearse those verses you're refusing. There's a bunch of makeup and costume people rushing in here soon, so please do it."

Carlos didn't argue, but there was indignation in his gaze.

"Look, we all feel bad right now, but we have to remember what this tour is all about. I'm sure Logan would be happy if you took his lines and played them for the fans. We have a noble purpose, remember? I know what an understanding guy you are, so please hang in there. Be strong for yourself, for the rushers, and ultimately, for us!"

At the last phrase, Kendall let go of Carlos and patted him encouragingly on the shoulder. He looked down guiltily as if he'd come to his senses.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Oh, God, I just can't get over it."

"It's okay, we know, Los."

A slight, but what appeared to Kendall to be a sad, bitter smile, shone on Carlos' face: "All right, guys, let's light up Charlotte."

"Oh yeah, this city will be ours tonight!" Kendall gave his friend a reassuring hug and turned toward James. "Hey, are you in?"

Though James seemed lost, he joined in the collective tactility at the same moment. "Always."

"Kendall Knight," the room erupted with an emotionless but loud enough tone to make everyone come to their senses. "Pop Tiger wants to do a quick interview. Griffin asked for you, so follow me."

Kendall let out a groan of protest, but within seconds he was heading for the door, pressured by his assistant's firm grip on him.

The endlessly long corridors unconsciously plunged Kendall into abstract thoughts. It was at such moments that the boy regretted his eloquence, his role as an eternal rescuer. Years of honed skill made the people around him think he was all right, but was he really? Kendall could easily find the right words to comfort others, but alas, he had no idea what phrases could comfort himself.

As soon as he got to the right place and said what the inquisitive journalists wanted him to say, he went to the stage with the rest of the band.

The bright lights, the backstage signals, the hustle and bustle in the dressing room... It all went by so fast and so often that Kendall felt like he was in a loop. It seemed the other guys did, too. But in the moments of the performance, they were immersed in a completely different, enjoyable atmosphere. Fan applause, supportive cheers, and large posters with comforting inscriptions filled the room with incredible energy.

However, Kendall didn't feel the same mood as the guys, so he just watched them from the sidelines. To his left was Carlos: the Carlos he'd always known. He was merrily strutting around the stage, chatting with the fans and joking as if he wasn't the one who'd thrown a tantrum earlier. Perhaps Carlos just didn't feel the burning loneliness with the rushers around. It was their sincere actions that had been the ray of light that had gone out for him after the loss of his best friend.

To his right was James. No matter how depressed he was before going on stage, he transformed into the happiest person during the performance. The pleasure with which he took notes, enjoyed the attention of the enthusiastic audience, and as if unaware, posed for photographers, was nothing compared to the modeling routine. James' gorgeous smile never left his face, and it even transferred to Kendall. But not for long. The peace was followed by guilt.

Ever since he was a teenager, James dreamed of becoming a star, something Kendall had always encouraged him to do. Even at Gustavo's audition, Kendall had almost killed the composer when he'd told him James had no talent. No talent? This charismatic guy was made for show business and Hollywood! But now that Kendall had chosen hockey, James had to stay in Minnesota, a cold, unpromising state for artists.

Forgetting the stage, Kendall lowered his eyes guiltily and almost missed his verse. He was slowly but surely crushing James' dream. And for what? For the sake of a relationship that, because of the cockroaches in Kendall's head, could hardly even be called full-fledged.

"Dear audience, Big Time Rush is here for you! Let's hear it for these hot guys!"

There was a deafening clap that finally snapped Kendall out of his thoughts.

"Oh yeah, they deserved that! But we're not saying goodbye yet, so don't be in a hurry to scatter. All those who purchased the VIP package, we thank you and ask you to go to a special area where you can mingle and get signed by the Big Time Rush members."

After bowing, Kendall and the rest of the guys headed to the autograph session, but they were stopped backstage by an assistant.

"James and Carlos, follow me to the interview. And you, Kendall, head to the book signing."

"Hey, that's not fair! I want to be with the fans, too." James resented him and deliberately arched his eyebrows.

"The interview won't take more than an hour, you'll go later. Now go, journalists don't like to wait!"

That was all Kendall needed right now. He would have preferred that Carlos or James take over the responsibility of talking to the fans, because he had no desire to squeeze any fun out of himself. But he had no other choice.

At the autograph session, Kendall machine-signed and tried to be friendly with the rushers, even when they asked the wrong questions. Kendall was well aware that the fans weren't to blame for what happened, and now he needed to at least appear cheerful. But he felt so detached... As if it wasn't his life, as if he was just an observer who couldn't change anything.

With a hand on his cheek, Kendall sighed heavily. He hoped Griffin wouldn't pick up on his behavior. As soon as the farewell tour was over, Kendall would be sure to hire a decent lawyer and double-check every piece of paper, even the most minor, so that the old geezer wouldn't barge into the boys' lives again. Mentally ticking off an important task, he proceeded to tell the fans something he wouldn't remember in a minute. But then Kendall suddenly flinched. No, he must be crazy, because the visual image that appeared was like the ravings of a madman!

"Kendall..."

Such a realistic voice could not be a hallucination. To be sure, Kendall looked away sharply and looked at the fan again, and then he was finally convinced that she was the one standing in front of him. She wore a voluminous black hood that was probably a disguise, but her facial features were so expressive that they couldn't be confused with the others. The same bushy eyebrows that emphasized a strong character. The same cute dimple on her nose, which for some reason reminded Kendall of the blonde's fondness for ballet. She was the same incredible girl that he had struggled to let go of in his time, and who now stood before him.

"Jo, what are you doing here?" Kendall said quietly but sharply, dumbfounded.

"I realize that you are a little surprised."

"Surprised? That's an understatement!" Kendall continued to stare at his companion, silently trying to get some information out of her.

Jo bit her lip nervously, and the silence was broken only by her quick but loud breathing. Kendall only now realized that there were other fans standing behind him, paparazzi wandering somewhere nearby, and James and Carlos could be back here at any moment. And they all didn't need to see his ex-girlfriend!

"All right, all right, what do you want?"

"I can't talk here, with you staring at me like that. Can we meet after the concert?"

His heart was pounding at a furious pace. Kendall didn't know what to say, so he nodded weakly. He even had to put his arm around Jo, so as not to arouse suspicion. At the same moment she discreetly slipped a note into his hoodie's pocket, which, as it turned out, had a phone number neatly written on it.

James and Carlos returned shortly afterward. Probably in their normal state they would have noticed Kendall's alarm, but now they were either too depressed or too intensely involved in fan interactions. Either way, the circumstances were only to Kendall's advantage. He clearly didn't want to have to give any unnecessary explanations. He spent the rest of the signing session looking forward to the meeting and thinking only about why Jo had barged into his life at such an inopportune time.